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My friend, all blessings to you...but you clearly haven't 'awoken' if you haven´t dropped tears of the bliss and pure love that is the Unitary and Oneness states (IMO Oneness is not even right, is 'Thereness', without the I'). If solipsism feels pleasurable to you, I don't have an issue with the word. But a lot of times seem that you guys are depressed about the world.

I think I had ego death on LSD. My eyes were closed and I was laying down. My mind was racing. I could not focus on any thought. My mind was like a rolodex just spinning. I suddenly thought to myself, "I've gone insane." I felt shame. I was thinking of family and friends all ashamed of me and visiting me in the psych ward. But suddenly I detached or became aware I was an observer observing my mind and these thoughts about shame. I was free. My ego was trying to control me by forcing me to feel shame and scaring me that I had gone insane. But I was actually the calm observer. I then had a wonderful trip of "no-mind" and just "being" and bliss and oceanic boundlessness. I was astral projecting and saw Krishna and Radha dancing in the cosmos.

@LSD-Rumi you need to know who you really are if you want to keep exploring with psychedelics, otherwise you will not have an anchor to go back to. People sober commit suicide because they listen to the voices in their head and think it's them, imagine high. IMO psychedelics didn't cause anxiety, it was already there, it could be stuff that need to be worked through. What's your goal in taking disassociatives? of course they made you calm, you got out of your body, you dissociated, you became numb. If you are using psychedelics for personal growth, you actually want to go straight to the shadow. I don't get people who complain about bad trips, what are we really doing here? Aren't we using them exactly to see the things we can't see when we are in normal reality? Alcohol makes you numb, ketamine makes you numb, those disassociatives make you numb. Our role here is to anchor our souls into our bodies and for that we need to actually feel the body, we cannot force the process, the dissociation is basically going for a little adventure, and the dishes are still there after we come back. I spoke to my friend who is a nun this week, and she had mediated for 7 hours that day, she told me "to meditate, to feel god and connect with my soul is easy. Difficult is being a human, to have a body, and participate in the outside world." hahaha Life is precious, we just don't know it yet.. it's just that we need to unclog the pipe to experience all the bliss. Unclogging the pipe means feeling our feelings, our anxieties, and all the bad stuff.. it's a difficult process.

The risks: Letting go of fear and control. The benefits: Infinite bliss/love, and understanding of literally everything.

LOVE that there's something instead of nothing. And that there's the ability to experience bliss through various methods. I HATE that our past effects our present and there are no way to erase or redo past events. I injured myself in a completely avoidable and stupid way and now I have to live with that until I die. Causes me so much stress.

Hi all, I've heard good things about this course but wanted to ask you (whoever has taken this course) a few questions. Can this course help to produce "spiritual experiences" like higher states of consciousness, states of bliss or love, realising your true nature and things like this? And are the exercises derived from Yoga? (And which type?) I actually wanted to get into (Kriya) yoga but I don't know, I'm having a difficult time at the moment and feel kind of overwhelmed by all the exercises of the kriya Yoga book from Leo's book list. So I wanted to start with something a little bit simpler, where exercises and theory are provided in various small bits. What I'm really looking for are exercises (and some supporting theory) that help me work with and improve my energy. Like making the energy stored in my body move back into the brain and thus entering altered states of consciousness. I've done a lot of meditation over the last years, but especially at the moment, I'm having a hard time not getting totally distracted by my racing mind and meditation still hasn't done too much for me in terms of changing my energy. @Javfly33 I think you recently talked about this course somewhere here, so would be cool if you could say a few words.

I really like the ability to connect with different beings and realize the oneness behind it all in a distinct form. And the diversity and creativity behind it all. I really hate the design that things have use to an energy source to sustain themselves, and like you I disagree with the notion that you always need the bad to appreciate the good. duality is fine, but its obvious to me you can exist in a state of bliss without suffering and torture/worry on your mind and pain and anguish and to deny this is silly. and I dont like obligation in any form its one of the most illusory things of all.

Agree, I found it the hard way. I wouldn't even mention any of this stuff unless somebody asks me. Other people are bound to enjoy or suffer their ignorance until they decide to renounce it forever, it is their right to remain how they want to be. Until then, they will take on lifetimes of burden, tension and also some pleasure joy, bliss here and there.

The Hindu term Maya is all is illusion. It keeps us distracted. If we can just "be," we are free. We enter the flow state. But we quickly think a thought about how we are "just being" and we are in the "flow state" and that acknowledgement snaps us back into the illusion. There can be no thoughts. There can be no narration or inner monologue. As I stated elsewhere everything is a metaphor. So your bones, skin, houses, roads, sunsets, trees, rocks, etc. They are all metaphors for something else. And everything is mythology. So history reaches back to pre-history and myths and it blurs right to today and blurs into our current living humans and me and you. We are living walking myths. It is Joseph Campbell's hero's journey. So only art is truth. Art shows the subconscious. So we can never communicate a truth. The best we can do is write a pop song or a poem or novel or a movie. We create symbolism to try to speak a truth rather than actually speaking the truth. One story we can use to conceptualize this is The Garden of Eden. Something happened where we disconnected from our essence. Maybe there was a tradeoff of a frontal lobe or cerebral cortex in exchange for divinity. We mirror our mothers going back to Eve. We are programmed. The unprogrammed state is the awakened state. So all is the Dao or Taoism. All is the monad. It is dualism. It is the yin yang symbol of a black and white fish. You cannot have the awakened state without the unawakened state. You cannot have reality/monad without illusion or false reality. The book Simulacra and Simulacrum theorizes a fourth stage or final stage where everything is a replica of the real thing. We are likely already living in this dystopian fourth stage. There could be an illusion where we think we are making "progress" but we are only making materialist and technological progress. We are actually regressing in terms of humanity, intuition, emotions, wisdom, etc. So maybe the Gnostics, hermetics, Ancient Egyptians were awakened or more spiritually advances than we can ever be. So find yourself. And follow your bliss as Joseph Campbell said.

That's probably best. Ignorance is bliss.

Yes. That is what I can confirm, and that sequence one can also find in every spiritual tradition. The bold parts of your text are excellent. Welcome home to a home you never left. What was your practice/path? The normal sequence is: 1. Practice (or just Karma/"luck". But I would estimate from what I have seen that for 90% it was practice). Efficient way: Meditation + psychedelics + integration work + many other things. 2. Many Awakenings (some traditions already call these Enlightenments)/ into stabilizing awakened nondual and empty/impersonal Awareness states: Into all these aspects (some aspects of Absolute Reality show up, like emptiness or nondual unity, love, timelessness, Infinity, and so on... But the separate-self is STILL yet not fully seen through). The separate-self gets more and more transcended, ones identity more and more empty and more like Pure Awareness, and then it gets nondual/unity with the whole visual field/manifestation. These Awakenings (field getting nondual and ones identity more and more just empty awareness) are normally caused by the practice that makes accident-prone. And then comes the accident that is called Enlightenment (that can't be willed, since that would be a spearate-self wanting that which is already the case, and by doing that covering it), and for which practice makes accident-prone. Enlightenment tends to happen for most only in very specific Awakened States (nondual/unity AND impersonal/empty). For that, I have written elsewhere (Mahamudra stage 3 (Awakened states of nondual and empty) "One Taste-Yoga" to Mahamudra stage 4 (stabilizing these states without doing anything) "Yoga of Nonmeditation). Bliss: These awakened states are already very blissful without needing external experience for that. 3. (Full/Basis/Great) Enlightenment into the True Nature of Oneself: Infinite Reality = Infinite limitless Impersonal and totally Empty Consciousness CONTAINING Infinite Manifestation, in an infinite Unity/Totality. The essence of every appearance/manifestation is the same Suchness as Infinite Consciousness/Awareness. A deep identity level shift, away from a separate-self to being aware that "one" is and always was the Totality/Infinite Reality/Infinite Impersonal Consciousness. Phase 2 is gradual(!), Phase 3 (Shift of Full Enlightenment) is a sudden and complete understanding into the eternal and immortal nature/essence of all of Reality (limitless) and ones True Self (Awareness/Nothingness containing all manifestation). It can not be mistaken, is sure, doesn't need any external validation (understanding it by being it, and IT is infinite/all there is and can be). It is totally beyond "any further" and beyond any need for any confirmation. It is self-evident. This insight/understanding/realization is "more assured/ultimately assured" (beyond any chance for being shaken again) because anything else can only possibly just be more phenomenal arising (including any sensory-arising like visual arisings, but also including any other (I-)thoughts/concepts/I-feelings/n+1). Why? To quote Ralston: IT IS YOU. Infinite Consciousness containg any possible appearances. Limitless. Infinite. Any limit would appear in IT. Empty. Any arising (tree, thought, I-feeling, anything) appears IN IT. Impersonal (onself can be nothing specific or personal, since one contains it all). And its Pure Awareness (without any location, without any second) itself. Potentially unaware if nothing arises. But always right here, never can not not be here, independent of whatever happens/appears IN IT. It is waking up. Its essence is understanding that the separate-self as independent "anything" DOESN'T exist (just appears as illusion IN THAT), and never existed (was always an illusion), and can/will never exist (even if in another life illusions-arisings will occure again in ones True Being/Reality. The Awakenings (2) are insights/understandings into aspects/properties of the nature of Reality/True Self/Infinite Consciousness. That then evolves, towards nondual/unity awakened states. And THEN the final big shift of full Enligthenment can happen, in which the nature of Infinite Reality/Ones True Identity as Impersonal Infinite Consciousness/Infinite Reality is revealed. 4. Stabiling this Enlightenment, and letting it reorient the character top-down and back again towards love/openness/staying in nondual impersonal Suchness ("BEING the Totality"). Even then still, the separate-self character can still hijack the show (peak, plateau, permanent), but the separate-self-character and its associated suffering has lost its mirage-like seductive power. Its essence (Suchness/Infinite consciousness) is immediately seen when feeling into it. And that holds true for all building blocks of the separate self. So lapsing after Enlightenment is just a hang-over from a long time of illusion , and once noticed any emerging separate-self-arisings can be killed/transcended by just looking into it. Bliss: A lot and growing, since the awakened states now get even more stabilized and are always accessible. When True Nature is known, and if the separate-self-character "hijacks" again the show: Just look into these arisings and realize again their essence as manifestation IN the Infinite Reality/Consciousness that one really is, and return to what one really is. While after (only) Awakening(s) (stage 2), certain elements of the separate-self-character are not seen fully through, or are NOT understood. One of the last stages is a very nebulous empty separate-"something" that is already in nondual unity with everything manifesting. But there is still an "Understander" or "a not yet fully understander" or some "seeker" -arisings there.... Roger Thisdell stage 4 vs. stage 5. Stage 4: stage 5: Maybe that is helpful for some. Please don't beat me. Selling Water by the River

@LostSoul I'm going through something similar. I had a breakthrough insight this summer when I realized that trying to go straight for healing the heart was too big of a challenge for me. Instead, I decided I would rather start with opening the sacral chakra, focusing on connection and pleasure. The sacral and heart chakra are connected in a way where opening one also opens the other. Also cultivating this bliss musters up mental resources to tackle the heart blockage without being overwhelmed.

Is a good foundational course, I think for the price asked it has a lot of value for your money. Regarding the Yoga practices, in the course you just learn 1 Kriya and some asanas. Is not that you will get a bunch of things taught to you, but I think is enough to see for yourself if is something that works or not. Yes, the practices taught are powerful enough to produce high states of consciousness. This might sound as fake but the reality is there is no chemical in the planet (at least the ones i've tried) that can produce the states of consciousness I´ve touched with Yoga and certain tools I´ve learn mostly from sadhguru. In my experience no meditation technique or similar spiritual tool I´ve tried touch in the slightest to the intensity and power of Shamavhi Kriya. But again, it should not surprised you because if you are careful notice how most of spiritual teachers never use the word 'explosion, bliss, intensity, exuberance...etc'. as sadhguru does almost all the time when talking about the practices. This should give you a hint. Most of spiritual jargon is 'peace, letting go...' etc. Cool and useful stuff when you are trying to be somewhat calm in life and not too stressed, but not powerful enough to enter to samadhi or other ecstatic energetic levels that can compete in the league of the drug-induced states that we are interested (and of course, easily surpass them at one point) IME, Sadhguru teachings are in a whole, whole, other level.

I think the 5 koshas in Yoga also aid your insight. In fact, they sort of provide an evolutionary road map. First the physical body, then the energetic body, then the emotions + thoughts, then the ability to discern and then bliss. I mean you have got to be curious, if after the physical body comes the mind (in a bubble controlled by survival), which through suffering evolves to a mind that looks inwards (ability to discern), what would come after that?

Well, it is, like often, not either/or. How to integrate all these diferent perspectives? Even Full Enlightenment develops. The Awakenings before that also. Or as Ken Wilber said: From experience, to plateau, to permanent. Yet, Enlightenment is a decisive shift, or realizing/being/understanding for the first time fully the nature of ones True Being and of Reality. Daniel Brown, Pointing out the Great Way: PATH WALKING: ENHANCING THE REALIZATION [after Full Enlightenment] Just as certain conditions serve as obstacles to maintaining enlightenment, other conditions, properly understood, serve to enhance it. Theterm path walking (lam 'khyer) pertains to the type of lifestyle, behavior, and specific practices engaged in after enlightenment that serve to enhance and consolidate the realization as an enduring condition of mind.The term lam hhyer means "to walk along a path." A traveler who crosses over a mountain needs a plan for discovering the new territory. Likewise, the practitioner whose mind crosses over from seeming individual consciousness to the enlightened mind is more likely to stabilize and consolidate the realization with a plan for everyday behavior and activity. The path-walking instructions provide that plan." So again from peak to plateau to permanent. "Tashi Namgyel lists a variety of everyday situations that best serve to enhance the realization. These include when there is attachment to ordinary experience, when the practitioner is caught up in passion and hatred, when the practitioner is meditating and is finding it very difficult to settle the mind, and when the mind is so much at rest and happy in everyday life that he or she is less likely to recognize the real nature of idle thoughts (TN, pp. 619-20). The best time to practice is when there are passions (hhu phrig), and especially when these passions are intense (drag po; TN, p. 619). In short, any difficulties (dka ngal) encountered in everyday life become good vehicles for consolidating the realization, and the more intense the better. Awakening already brings a lot of bliss, but not yet all tools necessary to move towards freedom from suffering/psychological resistance. Basis-/Full-/Great Enlightenment (different names for different traditions, basically understanding/realizing what one really is and what Reality is) brings for the first time the possibility for sustaining bliss by dissolving progressively the hangover/remains of the separate self during/over(!) the following years/life-time. Awakening does not bring that potential yet fully, because there is still somebody who "awakens". And of course most remaining "hang-overs" of the separate-self will let themself know by what they do best: Causing suffering. But now, after Enlightenment, there is a tool available to work with what has not already been dissolved: Looking into their essence, AND into the being doing the looking. Even Ken Wilber said in the Interview-Audio series Kosmic Karma on the question of Tami Simons: Anybody 24/7 permanently in realization, including deep sleep, with zero lapse? Answer by Ken Wilber: A clear no. But that is not a bad thing. Enlightenment gives the chance the reorient the remaining character/body-mind fully (or as much as possible) during the rest of ones lifetime. And when the remaining character is not aligned or has a lapse and goes into separation again: clearly noticed by suffering. Suffering and fear reduce dramatically, and a door/method is opened up to progress towards dissolving what remains of bliss/fear/suffering, or the remaining character which is not yet fully aligned. Ken Wilber gave a description on the possible (longterm) enlightened outcomes, depening on the character. Ken Wilber, The Eye of Spirit, Chapter: The Eye of Spirit: Ken Wilber also wrote in "One Taste" that one can remain an enlightened jerk. Or that realized Dzogchen adepts are sometimes depicted as looking incredibly bored (seen IT, done with it). Nisargadatta smoked a lot until it finally killed him. Adi Da ran quite some cult. The list of less-than-integral Enlightenment-expressions is long.... But also the enlightened archetypes of the link above are possible. So it depends a lot on the personality that was there before Enlightenment. There seems to be a huge variability. And the soul ripens also after Enlightenment, over many lifetimes (Christopher Bache, LSD and the Mind of the Universe: Diamonds from Heaven, Dustin DiPerna: Earth is Eden, and Jürgen Ziewe). Enlightenment is not the end of the soul, just the end of the "separate-soul". There seems to be a long path also afterwards, and not just the crude Nirvana-extinction-gameover of early Buddhism. Buddhism developed a lot towards that view in the following centuries/millenia (see Rainbow Body for example). Selling Water by the River

There is no normie enlightened state or multiple enlightened states or different degrees of enlightenment. It's all just pointing to one thing that either does happen or doesn't happen, like a binary, which a bunch of previous sages and mystics have been trying to point people to for centuries. It's the same thing the Buddha, Ralston, Krishnamurti, etc. all point to. When you achieve it, you lose your sense of time forever. You can never feel boredom again. The end. The ego mind looks at this and says: "What? It's just a binary off and on thing?? It's just some psychological recontextualization? That's so stupid! That's not enlightenment! Everyone told me enlightenment is infinite love and infinite bliss, and I heard reports where this guy literally became God and imagined everything with his mind!" And then the ego is stuck to those stories forever. Another reason why this confuses the ego is that it can't comprehend that all these "side effects" are actually just related to one recontextualization/insight. Anyways, namaste, friends. I'll just retreat to my mountain cave forever now and grow a long beard or something, I guess. I kind of get why they do that now.

In this video, between 1:01:12 and 1:02:19, Bentinho describes this painfully intense Universal Bliss that he felt during his last DMT trip, just like Leo described in his last blog update. And he goes on to say that he doesn't want that, because it's not Him, but a construct. And the reason that it's painful is because it is false. That everything is below YOU and only that, which is below, can be amplified. My contemplation tells me that he is accurate about ME being above anything that can appear or that can have a description, but psychedelic experiences offer contrast/learning for being in the human experience, so they have value on multiple levels, including but not being limited to, selfish/survival needs all the way to Pure Understanding and levels of consciousness. I'm wondering of your thoughts about this

That separation is an illusion and that there’s no inside or outside to experience. That everything in the universe works as one interconnected system, with one boundless open space that’s silent, still and unchanging containing it all, which if one taps into creates a total freedom from suffering, endless bliss and peace forever (forever meaning outside of space and time). That from this unity unconditional love is a natural consequence and that such love/bliss/silence/stillness/infinity is the substratum of it all. That reality is not physical, material, dull and solid but rather fluid, vibrant and alive energy waiting to only present itself as seemingly dull and material for a tiny moment. That there’s so much more out there in terms of the multiverse and other dimensions. That life is a total mystery and that everything is ultimately unknowable, and that unknowability is actually the very essence of what we call “God”. That the true “I” is outside of space and time. Never did I mention the psychotherapeutic aspect of psychs on the human ego but what I learned from that is equally vast as the non-dual stuff but it’s too personal. To use most effectively and safely requires that psychedelics aren’t ones only tool in the toolbox of personal growth because if it is you might be better off never doing them because of the risks. Nobody uneducated in non-duality, spirituality, religion, shamanism, psychology, basic self help, mindfulness and meditation should even THINK of taking psychedelics unless under a therapist’s care. Learn to work your way up extremely slowly and enjoy the process. Do not expect to breakthrough to some grand realisation that will solve it all. That does NOT exist. No grand realisation will solve one’s human problems so beware of spiritual bypassing. Remain open but skeptical, and more than anything watch your ego as it will almost certainly inflate at times. Never hold onto any spiritual statement/teaching too tightly while working with psychedelics, and always rest in the unknown. Be intellectually honest that everything is unknowable, don’t take yourself too seriously because nothing in life is too serious, and enjoy the ride. ?? Have fun! Don’t be too serious.

Wouldn't even a peak 5meo awakening/God realization get boring after a while? Isn't that the reason God created the world in the first place? infinite bliss and omniscience got boring!

@Benton As long as theres no bad behavior, ignorance is bliss lol

I woke up, meditated, did kriya yoga, and breathwork for a couple of hours. I then Snorted around 120mg of tested ketamine and holed. It was my first time holing and it was very cool, but I didn't have any crazy breakthroughs. Once I could move again with ease I took 3 large hits of DMT, and was unable to take a fourth. The psychedelic effects were about as strong as I've ever had them, even putting a standard DMT trip to shame. I starting off asking to just know what everything is, to know god, and after I laid down I was in this dimension with a massive room, with large tall angular entities. I had the sense this was a very profound place, and it seemed nothing like the jesters I sometimes meet with. The visuals were just absolutely ineffable, so advanced and intelligent. I few weeks ago on DMT I had been given the option to die, and had gratefully decided not to. This time I was ready to die and had accepted death, and so they brought out a file from the edge of the room. Then suddenly I was gone, transported to the void of God, no world, no self, no reality. And then, out of love and infinite curiosity, I decided and chose to incarnate in this reality. I would describe the process I experienced as Creation. God created everything, and it was me doing it. And then God decided to forget into this individual life, into my experience as a human being on earth. And for a while after the trip I was crying and screaming in existential bliss and awe, marveling at the world and self I had just created. This is everything put into a chronological story, but it is all beyond words. I became completely conscious of the process of Creation as god. What a beautiful and unique thing, the cause and explanation for all of reality. And yet still I continue to create. I realized that I will always be creating, infinitely and while I live this life, and it is a beautiful divine thing, it is what God does. I realized that everything is absolutely perfect, that I will never die and I am simply imagining this finite life and will continue to imagine when it is over. There is nothing to fear, nothing to worry about, all there is is perfection and love. Anyways, I will be more motivated to meditate, to life a fearless loving and pure life, to be as aware as possible. And to smoke more DMT. Much love, Thank you lots @Leo Gura for teaching me about all of this, I wouldn't be here experiencing the most meaningful thing I could have ever imagined otherwise. p.s. I mixed LSD with DMT a couple of days ago and also had a crazy trip. But there was no deep insight, just jester entities showing me all kinds of gadgets and gizmos, happy to see me. The visuals were absolutely insane. These dimensions are just so far beyond ours in complexity.

Thanks for describing your experience. I do agree with that, based on my own experience. And thousands of others in all cultures and centuries described it like you do. That is a very important element of the path. It probably sounds quite a bit nuts, boring and strange. At least I would have interpreted it like that a few years ago... But that is exactly how the Impersonal (Silent/Pure/Empty) Infinite Consciousness perceives all of its manifestation in certain awakened nondual states, watching itself, perceiving itself, being itself and the world, by itself, for itself. (1) That starts to happen when the self-contraction/separate-self is seen through, transcended and cut off either with high enough speed & proficiency, or with some more energetic state-change techniques. So the resulting flow of bliss makes it no longer possible for any grasping/contracting thought/feeling-arising to grip & contract the focus/attention (and cut the nondual field into two, or duality), and create bad emotions/stop the flow of bliss. And motivating the separate-self with that resulting suffering again for searching or avoiding certain experiences to eradicate the suffering, and relax the contraction again. That process you describe is the natural way that leads the transition to the deep identity level change to ones True Nature, the Infinite Silent and peaceful/blissful Abyss of Pure Consciousness without location or any kind of objective appearance... When not finding IT (or Consciousness, or oneself), at some point the localization of consciousness dissolves, making every appearance (thought, feeling, cloud, tree, the whole world including ones "small self") just an appearance arising in the Infinite, silent & empty and not-personal Eternal Reality of Ones True Being, Infinite Consciousness, or Reality itself. (2) And when it is seen that even the "Understander" of this Nondual and Awake Realization is nothing more than a bundle of "understanding"-thoughts arising WITHIN THAT, then Full Enlightenment is finally seeing that there never was a separate-self besides an illusion, and nobody (besides) an Illusion actually woke up. Pure Infinite Consciousness/Being was there throughout, undisturbed, just containing some illusion-arisings. And yet, that Realization or waking up of that perspective of Indras Net makes all the difference in the dream of that perspective, finally dissolving the self-contraction/separate-self illusion even of the "Understander" of all of that for good. Selling Water by the River PS: (1) are the stages of dissolving the separate-self into nonduality, and (2) is going from Nonduality/Unity towards even relaxing/dissolving the "Understander"-separate-self-illusion of that into Infinite Consciousness/Reality itself. More on that in this post: PS PS: For Infinite Reality to create a separate-self/self-contraction/ego and to maintain it, there are just two emotions needed that have to regularly occur in cycles (not permanently, that would also kill the separate-self) : 1) suffering (in the meaning of non-satisfied-ness, or "non-bliss" , and 2) boredom. That starts all of the projects for getting back again the bliss via certain experiences (whatever that may be varies a lot). A bliss that would be there if not the separate-self-contraction would stop its flow via contracting. Of course, that can only be seen after having touched the natural bliss of ones True Being, because if that would be seen earlier the whole process would be shut off immediately. But if there is no technique available to just cut off the contraction/suffering, one has to stick to grasping for certain experiences, because that is then all one has...

Definitely true, I notice now after a short period of practice how 30 minutes of meditation is plenty to get into the depth of the trip and to feel and get into the vibes and remainders of the trip be it positive/negative. Even this re-creational trip deepend my practice by 20-30% I'd say, I can dissolve some stuff that stems from the past & I have a deeper connection to expansive flow type of enlightenment / pure joy & bliss type of flow type feelings currently. Also the techniques I am using switches and I I am getting more into the very advanced territory I notice.

I was answering your "why should men choose you over other women" question. Do you mean to say General sense or Absolute sense, because we're not speaking in the Absolute sense at all. If that's the case we can just end the conversation right now, because from the Absolute perspective, there are no sexes, no prize, no vagina, no relative, no anything...just Nirvana, peace, love and oneness...pure bliss. Men are free to choose whatever prize they want to compete for.

What is HHC exactly? I just saw a short documentary is it really legal? White light is a very high state at Casual level of experience of consciouness fundamentally, one of the peaks of my current practices, I had short glimpses during retreats also and just in very very deep rest states where I was exhausted for a couple of seconds. It felt like pure bliss also. Wish you the best on your healing journey, what type of personality disorder do you have that is disturbing, if you don't mind sharing? I don't know if psychedelics heal stuff like this, and how far science is as they just treat more basic stuff like depression. I never had experiences like this. Just very deep consciouness states and a lot of love & positive regard of myself & live. I once heard stories beign spoken from a video in different timelines, based on perception of consciouness, yet was very odd. I still can't describe the experience and was more in the "power releam" of stuff. Nothing very useful/healing.