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Being in fear but not in suffering, hating others without hurting anyone, creating through destruction, being attached to your body with no pain yet be fully alive just like children or teens can be, being attached to your thoughts without them hurting you or anything, I don't want to go too far because it's ban'able but yeah I think because so many spiritualists either seem to rely on drugs or rely on old traditions they have never understood creativity, they're using the term imagination as actually unmagination which is cool but of course they are scared of real imagination which creativity is because they could create new horrors, I believe one part of the endgame of this reality is to truly incorporate this, aka real love through real contradiction and real paradox, I'm childish so I'm just expressing my disappointment at how love is used to actually mean escape through transformation of evil(which is one good way) rather than the type of creativity I'm pointing at which would actually fully embody it, so tldr suffering without suffering and if you want real madness suffering through bliss(don't go there), pain is pain so you don't need to go there.

Nice, yeah I don't like describing my trips in terms of ego death because I always had a sense of existence, but maybe an ego transformation. No I don't. I can feel the exact same resistances that were dissolved present every day, like a cracking and popping of my third eye, but I can't have a full liberation like that sober. Although I'm getting close and increasing my understanding over time

vr chat is a game that you can pretty much do everything you want, you can choose or make any avatar you want and go to any world that you want. anyone can upload any avatar and any world to this game, the game rely on 100% users content ,it is somewhat a metaverse game which it is life in digital reality. of course it is a game and there are lots of dark sides to it. a lot of people using it as escape from real life but if you have your values in mind you can get lots of value from this game. i am talking here about the opportunities that you can get in this thread. i think that this game is exeptionaly good for people that are not cisgender, also for people that really want a certain look. presonaly as a genderfluid this game enables me to feel me, i never felt so in line with gender in my life, trying to manipulates my gender in irl is pretty hard job , in this game it takes one click to be whoever you want to be. it is really hard to describe the liberation that this option gives me , i can like my irl look more beacuse i have this abillity to transform and i can satisfy my need for this transformation. the next part is getting better at socializing and getting rid of social anxiety. i found that my socializing skills are way better beacuse of this game, i am just used to be in mood , i am not desparate for people , i can just be myself and be in the right mood. if you are usually just not socializing for a long time you can find youreself in a hard time for being in the mood and then maybe feel like it is just not for you even if it is not true , this game can help for those kind of problems. for social anxiety it can help mainly beacuse the social interaction situations rate and the social situations rate is so big that you find yourself dealing with alot of situations and you can practice being in social situations , getting rid of social anxiety is mainly practice . also you can get people to enteract with you pretty fast and you dont need to be active for that , you even not need to talk. ofcurse it is better that you will but if you dont someone will talk with you, unlike in real life that it might not happend. also there are lots of people in this game with social anxiety so getting support is easy. there are many more options in this game, i might make more posts about those parts and maybe tutorials if some people will gain interest in this game. i am hoping that this post is understandable, i am writing it a bit late.

Clarity, focus and action. Healing Trauma: A Journey of the Past, Present and Future. Learning Mandarin Chinese. Getting on track with lifes purpose. Practicing Yoga. Being a yoga instructor. Being an English conversational skills instructor. Socialization and dating beautiful women. Focus needs to happen, action needs to happen, the hiearchy of needs needs to be met and transformation needs to occur. There are two other journals for the first two bullet points, they deserve their own journals and I am excited about those journals. This journal will be used to for the other 5 bullet points, this is where the focus needs to be at this stage in the transformation. What will it look like in practice...?... we will have to wait and see.

I would encourage to go differently about it. The reason for why transformation is difficult is because of how much information we are absorbing on a daily basis. Our mind is so thick and dense with information, and the more information, the more difficult it becomes to channel the right stuff into the body. Hypnosis back in the 19s, was a lot more powerful than now. Partially because there was no internet and a lot less information that we consume. The activity of the mind was a lot less and the body was a lot more in tune. I would connect back to that sense of letting go of needing information and just searching for a good somatic therapist and trust the process intuitively. You have probably studied a lot of concepts already, and have a lot of knowledge. If you would go explore this subject through online information, that can be a trap, because the information is very much presented in a way that is not specific to you, a lot of it gets filtered out subconsciously because you feel like it does not apply to you. How would it feel to just let go of the need to understand this, and just go find a somatic therapist? In worst case, you do not resonate with it. Go to 10 different somatic therapists though and stick with the one that resonates with you the most. I do not know the quality of somatic therapists in your country, choose well.

Identifying it as a matter of Care is the core of it. The majority of human beings haven't developed to the point that the exploitation of other human beings is a matter of serious concern if it's not happening directly in front of them, so it's not surprising that concern for non-human animals isn't even on the radar for most folks. To get to that point, someone has to develop where Care is extended to beings that one has no investment in. That's a big ask for most people, as it involves deconstructing the sorts of ego-defense mechanisms that allow us to benefit from the exploitation of others without paying the emotional and spiritual costs that that entails. Societal structures puts the suffering and exploitation that make contemporary consumer society possible behind high walls, where one has to go out of their way and be highly motivated to even begin grappling with these sorts of ethical concerns in a serious way. Yet I suspect that even if somehow visiting a factory farm was a requirement for being 'allowed' to consume meat, even in this scenario most people would continue to do so because it's not enough just to show people things, there has to be an Internal Transformation for any real change.

I put this somewhere else but I thought it was good stuff so I am putting it here too. We tend to want to be free. We tend to want freedom. We tend to want to be able to run and play and when there are walls, we may feel stuck and confined within those walls. The inner critic points out the walls, defines them for us, tells us they are there. Walls are like boundaries, limits; we are trying to push the boundaries/limits all the time as much as we can. When we are at a job, and we may feel stuck with all the codes, rule following, timelines, budgets, norms, etc. (Or if we are doing our own thing, we may feel stuck with not having the right skills, tools, support or fear of not making enough money). We start to push what we can do and see if we can get away with it. If the job is free enough to allow us to run around and do our thing, we are happy. If the job is letting us explore our potential and push the limits, we are happy. If the job tells us no you can't do this or that, we are upset, we get bored/angry/frustrated. The inner critic is a blessing and a curse. By pointing out problems, walls, questions, it allows for potential, growth, change/transformation, new perspectives. There are almost always good things to find in any situation, almost always things to question, almost always things to improve on, almost always some things that are free enough to be turned/shifted despite others seemingly stuck in place and un-moveable. The inner critic's focus may be in a negative way, a skeptical way (you can't do this, that isn't possible, you don't have the skill/personality, this is bad, you don't belong, you shouldn't forgive, are you crazy?, this is going to be bad, you are not cool/smart enough, etc.). I think the inner critic could be trying to accomplish more potential, growth, and curiosity if we use it that way. It could also tend to drown in misery, suffering, sadness, anxiety, regret, guilt, shame, hopelessness, annoyance, blame, etc. if we use it that way. Either way, it is pointing out ideas/information to us and how we react to that can make a difference. In a way, the stronger the inner critic, the more we can notice, the more information/ideas we can work with, the more potential, the more things we may find we need to tweak, the more complex we can become, the more mastery we can achieve. However, also the stronger the inner critic, the more walls/problems we may say are there. If one's main focus is being internally peaceful and taking their own responsibility for their inner peace regardless of what is going on in the "external" and beyond their control, they may have a more peaceful, transformative, healing, hopeful relationship with the inner critic; whereas if one feels like they cannot control their inner feelings and lets whatever happens outside impact their inside, they may not realize the healing and transformative potential/power of the inner critic and just drown in it. I guess one thing is using feedback (whether from others or from ourselves) for growth/curiosity/learning instead of using it as a victim/blame/fight/hide can make a difference. But to use it for growth/curiosity/learning takes lots of patience, calmness, and willingness to engage/interact/understand and sometimes the easy route can be to just react in a negative way (but that is actually the hard route because it may be easy in the immediate but hard for anything beyond the immediate). One's peers, therapist, friends, etc. could all be criticizing a situation but one could realize there is so much more to it (and more potential) and they were just criticizing it because of the limited information one was giving them and because they are just focusing on the walls and not the potential/good. Learning to not judge stuff from what it did in the past and see that stuff is constantly changing all the time.. (but that is tricky though because the past can be a helpful indicator of what is to come; but also not necessarily).... Everything is super tricky... (I think a bunch of this, I was inspired by listening to a podcast from yesterday haha and I was wanting to tie all of it together.) .... But again, so many ways to think about that topic. What's yours trying to accomplish? I guess another one I was thinking of was when we were in school and we had to sit still and weren't allowed to speak or interact with the other kids and were told we had to pay attention to the teacher and do the assignment, sure sometimes we felt engaged and interested and explored that. Sometimes we did not though. So what did we do?? We went to the internal imagination and daydreamed. We left the classroom and were in some other place, engaged and interested and explored that. Or with a website, if one gets censored/shut down, one may find other ways to release their message/perspective. (Again, pushing the limits). But with the inner critic, we either believe, yes the walls are there and we have to comply (yes I have to comply with what my teachers/parents/government says and I will be a good girl/boy and do everything they say... or, no actually I can push the limits and question everything..) Do we believe the walls are there or do we think we can push them - if we believe the walls are there, are we depressed that they are there or are we curious about why they are there.. There is the balance though of walls being helpful versus being limiting...

This pisses me off to no end. Whenever I look for transformation pics of skinny dudes into muscular dudes a whole fuck ton of them are just the same body under different lightning conditions or angles

Having two girls in my rotation at the moment The girl I'm talking about I will be meeting at a party on friday. Another girl, who's phone number I got, I will be having a coffee date next week. To the outsider it sounds like I'm doing good. Trust me, I will fuck this up. I just care too much lol. For me results don't matter, I care about growth, and letting go of neediness, bad conditioning, to become whole (being). I just fucked up too much so I decided to focus on myself. It is not going as quick as I want, but I know I can't force this process. It is a matter of development of consciousness; and consciousness can't be pushed. I really have to accept so I can let go which is very counterintuitive to my nature. Perhaps I should stack up on meditation because I really don't feel good about my socialization: I can't enjoy the fruits of my labor because my inner game has a hard time catching up with my outer game. The bottom is... I do get the theory, it is just hard to live it, to be it. I'm a perfectionist so perhaps I expect too much from myself considering my problematic background, I have to be smart about it and baby step my transformation and paradigm shift.

I would like to share something written by my guru's guru, Yogeshwar Muni. Many knew him as Charles Berner, the originator of the Enlightenment Intensive retreat, but what not everyone knows is that he went on to be an accomplished yogi. After having many peak experiences to only face a dead end, his guru, Swami Kripalu, gave him the key to achieving God realization. This is a rare path, and I would like to share an introduction to that here. Chapter 1 Introduction to Natural Yoga In the Western world it is not considered very important to be guided by the heart. We would all like to be more able to love and be loved, but we have learned to trust our heads. We have been educated, not only in our educational system, but also in our society as a whole to use our heads. It has brought us a certain degree of material success, but it has not succeeded in giving us the happiness, the peace, the consciousness, and the love that we all want. The teaching of Natural Yoga is the way of natural union with God. From my spiritual teacher Master Kripalvananda, I learned a method of opening my heart, a method of surrender. This is not to say that knowledge is a bad thing, because it is not. But it is not enough; nor is just opening your heart. We are so much more advanced in our heads than in our hearts. What we need is to learn to open the heart and surrender. But surrender to what? In Natural Yoga one surrenders only to the Truth. Another name for the Truth is God. God is the Absolute; the Absolute is Perfection; and Perfection is Truth. Natural Yoga is about knowing God not just intellectually, but consciously and directly; it is about surrender to God. It is necessary to re-release the energy captured by the closed heart. The heart, in turn, has been captured by the mind; and the mind controls it. It is not possible to figure out how to re-release or to liberate the life energy that has been entrapped. The more you use your will to make it happen, the more life energy gets captured. But when the heart is re-opened, the mind loses its grip on the previously captured energy, and life begins to flow again. If you surrender to anything and everything, your life becomes a complete waste. Your desires run wild and you run into incredible difficulties. In Natural Yoga, by surrendering to God, by surrendering to the Truth, the suppressed energy is released and transformed. Then liberation is achieved. Once you surrender the body, feelings and mind to God, the purification process begins. But the ego resists it. It says, “Oh, no, you don’t. This surrender business is not for me!” If you have a lot of toxins in your body, there will be a strong reaction. If you are sickly, overweight, use drugs, smoke cigarettes, or drink coffee or alcohol, the body will react very strongly and make it very difficult for you to continue surrendering. If you sincerely want to do Natural Meditation, you need to work through these difficulties and prepare for the process of full surrender, of completely giving over your body, feelings and mind to God. Then as you continue to surrender, your mind begins to purify spontaneously. There are four ways to awaken or liberate the life energy. One of them is by physical exercise; another is by understanding the Truth; the third is through devotion; and the fourth is through the transmission of divine energy form teacher to student. If you do a lot of exercise, stop using drugs and eat a pure diet, your body will become purer. And when it purifies, the life energy will be liberated. My life energy was liberated by understanding the Truth. I had a realization of the Truth of life. As a result, the life energy in my body went “whoooosh.” I rolled all over the floor and acted crazy. I didn’t know what to do with it! I tried to figure out what it was all about. For years I tried to find out what to do with it and how to handle it. I did not succeed until I met Master Kripalvananda, affectionately called Kripalu. He is the only one I ever met who really knew what to do with the vital energy. He was a great yogi from the great tradition of Natural Yoga. Something led me to his feet. He had the knowledge, method, and power to transform the life energy; and he could teach and transmit it to others. And finally, if you devote yourself to whatever is divine to you and open your heart and serve it, through great love, your life energy will be liberated In Natural Yoga, the life energy is awakened through the transmission of divine energy from teacher to student. The transference is a gift of life energy from the teacher to the student. The great advantage of transmission of divine energy from teacher to student is that you know what is happening; you how it has come about; and you know you have someone to guide you. Once the divine energy is transferred, the rest happens spontaneously and automatically as you continue to surrender. 1. You begin to treat people better, not because you are forcing yourself, but just because you want to. 2. The body performs purifying actions, moving spontaneously into yoga postures whether you have ever heard of them or not. The postures occur in the exact way necessary for your body to purify. 3. The life energy becomes restrained and elevated. 4. The attention withdraws from the senses. 5. You go into deep concentration. 6. You go into spontaneous meditation. 7. You go into equanimity or union with God. This does not happen in two or three seconds; it takes a while. It may take days, weeks, months or years; but it happens according to the grace of God and Truth, according to the wisdom of the divine energy that guides you. The process of Natural Yoga proceeds according to your degree of surrender, the previous work that you have done in this life and others, and the wisdom of your spiritual teacher. Divine union is the ultimate outcome of Natural Yoga. Your own true, divine nature comes into union with God or Truth. Natural Yoga brings not only bliss, but also consciousness, Truth, health and happiness. It brings natural humility and saintly behavior. Impurities are transformed into Divine Love for others. Eventually a complete and permanent transformation of one’s human nature takes place. This is a long-term project; yet it is the promise of Natural Yoga. Chapter 2 Surrender The key to Natural Yoga is surrender. By surrendering in meditation you achieve union with God or Truth. There are many names and ways of thinking about the Ultimate. Choose the way that has meaning for you, then surrender and go into union with it. Natural Yoga is natural union, a union that happens naturally without the use of willful direction or guidance. Natural Meditation means following the natural path, the path that is automatic and spontaneous. But this can only come through surrender. This is why surrender is the key. Without surrender, the will is involved. When the will is involved, nothing happens naturally. There are a lot of advantages to meditating naturally. You might say that surrender is “letting it be.” Letting things be the way they are, is a form of surrender. The dictionary defines surrender as the opposite of victory; surrender is yielding or giving in. It implies being forced to give in, to give in against your will. In Natural Yoga surrender means giving in by your own choice and letting the will of something other than you have its way. In Natural Yoga, you not only surrender, but you also surrender to the Truth; you surrender to Perfection; you surrender to the Absolute; you surrender to the Ultimate. You surrender to the cosmic finality. Call it whatever you like. You don’t just surrender. You surrender to an Ultimate. You have the choice to surrender or not. In Natural Yoga you choose to give in to the Divine. This is the key principle of Natural Yoga. You don’t need to know anything else. Everything else supports this key principle. So you need to understand it well. It is not easy to surrender, but it is the key to spiritual growth. If you surrender to the Divine, then automatically and spontaneously, you are on the path to the Truth, to the feet of the Lord, to Divine Love, without having to plan, to know, to force or to concern yourself in any way. The difficulty is that when you choose to surrender, there is a reaction. Therefore, you can only surrender to a certain degree. If you could surrender to the Truth totally, all at once, you would experience the Truth and you would have complete union with the Truth. Some people refuse to surrender at all. They say, “I’m using my will and that’s it. I’m not surrendering at all!” A few have surrendered totally. We call them God. Most of us are in between with some degree of surrender. When you have a reaction to surrender, don’t stop surrendering. Simply surrender more. Even if you don’t want to, go ahead and do it anyway. Perhaps you pull back your surrender to some degree. But if you do surrender, a little bit of purification takes place. Not only do concerns go away, but also the body and the mind purify to some degree. So when you surrender that much again, the reaction is not so strong. And as you continue, your capacity to surrender grows deeper and deeper because the reactions are less. It would take a lifetime to sort out the best way to have a supremely happy life, achieve complete liberation, attain absolute freedom, and reach total union with God. By the time I found Natural Yoga, my life had been spent trying to work this out. I had assembled about fifty different, quite excellent methods of dealing with the body and mind, like massage, Polarity Therapy, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Hatha Yoga, breath restraint, good diet, Gestalt Therapy, Mind Clearing, Emotional Trauma Release, praying to God, and many others. I was trying to design an assessment method to test every person who came to our spiritual growth center and then direct them to the techniques they needed. I had an elaborate plan worked out with a marvelous testing system so that each person’s plan could be adjusted to just the combination they needed and varied as their needs changed. I was excited by all of this and was beginning to make some sense out of it even though it was a fairly complex subject. Then one day I met my beloved spiritual teacher, Kripalu. He taught me Natural Meditation. With Natural Yoga all you have to do is surrender to God. And the perfect thing happens to you at just the right time with the correct intensity to do exactly what is necessary for you whether it be in your mind, your body or your feelings. It brings about the exact degree of purification you need. And then the process continues naturally without any need to ask questions or make plans! What a relief! What a Godsend! Unfortunately not everyone can surrender to God. First of all, many have not found God. Others have no absolute anywhere in their life. It’s difficult for them to find anything to surrender to. Secondly, many are so impure and toxified that if they do surrender even a little bit, their ego can’t stand it. They clamp their will down with all their might. These people must find Truth, through some other method, through Enlightenment Intensives, for example. They need techniques to remove their mental and communicative obstacles. Once their minds become purer as a result of techniques such as the Enlightenment Intensive, then surrender is possible for them. For those who are ready, for those who have prepared themselves, the path of Natural Yoga is open. Natural Yoga is an option if they so choose! Many have had deep experiences of God, Truth or Divine Love. But these experiences fade with time. All willful techniques are limited because you can only know God in a surrendered state. As soon as the will is re-activated by arising desire, the deep experience lost. Many people are sincerely driven time and time again into the realm of peak experiences only to fall back again when desire arises. Some have sought experiences using drugs, only to crash again. Taking drugs is certainly willful; and you cannot willfully maintain union. Only in the state of surrender to the Truth can the Ultimate goal be continually experienced. It’s a gradual process. Where willful techniques leave off, surrender begins. This is not to say that willful techniques have no value. They do! It is necessary for almost everyone to participate in them to get themselves to the place where they can surrender meaningfully to the Truth. To do Natural Yoga, one must be able to surrender and let the will another be done. It is God who is the doer in Natural Yoga. In Natural Yoga you release the body from willful acts. You allow the life energy in the body to do what it wants instead of willfully trying to do something. If your body gets tired, let it fall over or just collapse on the floor. Once the body rests for awhile, it wants to move again. Whereas ordinary meditation uses the will, in Natural Yoga you let the life energy, guided by the divine, move the body in whatever way it sees fit. Do not try to concentrate your mind or attention on any particular thing. In willful meditation you concentrate on one subject or willfully try to maintain a state of openness. In the case of Natural Yoga, you let the attention go wherever it wants. It might go onto anything. You surrender the control of your attention to the divine and letting it do what it wants. The divine directs the energy that guides the attention. It will go where it needs to go in order for you to make the most rapid progress in your meditation. Meditation may not always be what you want; and often, it is not. Sometimes it is boring. Sometimes it does seemingly pointless things like the grocery list. But that is what needs to be done. The energy is trying to release your attention from the “grocery list” so it can go on to other things. You say, “Oh, I shouldn’t be thinking about the grocery list; so I’m not going to think about it. I should be thinking about God.” You are using your will. It is all very well to think about God; but if you are using your will to direct your attention, then you are defeating the method of natural union with God. If you surrender your attention to God, the life energy in the body and mind will be guided appropriately. In meditation you go through what you need to go through. No one has to tell you anything. God is the only therapist. If you have God or the Truth as your therapist, you can not do better. The only fee God wants is surrender to Him. You can say Her if you prefer. The Goddess is Truth. Truth is the way things actually are no matter what perspective you take. You just let meditation happen whatever way it wants. Let His will be done, not yours. Surrender, then, is to choose to let God, the Truth, or whatever you want to call it, guide your body, feelings, and mind, your thoughts and attention. You will be lead you through the most fascinating, exciting, sometimes boring and even terrifying journey to to union with the Truth. By surrendering to the life energy, the body can naturally go through what it needs to go through in Natural Yoga. It does not become tired. The mind goes through what it needs to go through so it does not become stuck or frustrated trying to control the attention. And the feelings can flow when they are ready; when they are not ready, nothing happens. So just let it be. One can do many hours of Natural Yoga over long periods of months and years. The serious aspirant can devote his or her whole life to this activity. Four to eight hours a day spent in meditation is not unusual for a serious practitioner of Natural Yoga. Generally, the energy in meditation moves a lot at first, then slows down to nothing and the aspirant goes into yogic sleep. You may think that you should be alert and busy. Your will tells you, “I think I should be awake, active and busy.” And there is God’s will. Sleep is coming on naturally. If you have truly surrendered, you let sleep come. If a hand wants to move, let it move. Whatever happens let it happen! There is only one condition, surrender your body, mind and feelings to the Truth,. If you have done that, there is no error. Whatever occurs, including sleep or anything else, happens properly and automatically. Why doesn’t everybody do Natural Yoga? It’s so easy! I mentioned the obstacle of reaction. Many people are attached to the ego; that is, their ego wants to be in charge. It wants to be the doer and wants to cause things to happen. “If I do this, then I want that result. And I want the fruits of my actions.” Following the ego is the ordinary Western way of proceeding. It is also the Oriental way of proceeding to some extent. When you willfully act, God responds to a degree, if you have acted ethically. You can get bound to the ego and get stuck in the role of the doer. You are the one who is doing it, rather than surrendering. Following the ego can only take you so far. But most people are not ready to give up the role of “doership.” They are not ready to go on to Natural Yoga. God is the doer of all things. Imagine a slave master who has many slaves and who wants to build himself a nice house. He sits up on his dais and says, “Slave, you come over here and you carry these stones. And you slaves there, you pile them up. And you mix the mortar. And you design it. Come on, jump!” And they start jumping and carrying stones and they build the palace. When the palace is finished, the slave master invites his neighbor over. And he says, “Look! See the palace I built! See what I did!” The slave master is the ego and the slaves are God. God is the doer of all things that appear in the form of nature. God in the form of nature does all things. The ego sits back and says, “Look what I’m doing! See what I did!” The ego thinks it is the doer. But the ego does not create anything; it does nothing! The body is part of nature; the mind, feelings and thoughts are part of nature. The entire physical universe is part of nature. All that happens is done by God working in and through nature. Surrender releases the divine energy that makes everything work. The divine energy is what guides your body, mind and feelings in Natural Yoga. If you are strongly identified with doership, surrender will not occur. But you can give up the ego and say, “God, I surrender to you.” It would be like the slave master saying, “Slave, I surrender to you. I realize that you have been doing the work anyway and I’ve just been taking credit for it.” It is not just a matter of stopping what you were doing; it is a matter of realizing that you never were and are not the doer. God in the form of nature does all things. The act of surrender is simply the gradual realization of the Truth. As long as you are attached to the fruits of action, you are held in a trap. You hold on to the idea that you are the doer. “I did it. I worked all day. I want my pay.” So if you are attached to the fruits, you are automatically the doer. But it is not true. The fruits do not belong to you. They are all God’s. You are not the doer. God does it all. So what are you? You are the one who either surrenders to that fact, or resists it. You are the one who can make the choice. You can either surrender to the natural way which brings about union with Truth or you can fight it, saying, “No! No! No! I’m going to do it the way I want!” Sometimes people feel that if they decide to stop doing something, nothing will happen. They think that not doing anything is surrender. This is not true. They think, “I won’t think any thought; I won’t move a finger; I won’t breathe.” There is a very simple way to test this. “ Well since I’m the breather, I’ll stop breathing.” But it is not you who starts breathing again because it was not you who was breathing in the first place. God in the form of nature is causing the body to breathe, not you. And in the same way, nature causes the brain to think, the hunger to come, the sexual urge to arise. All these things happen by the will of nature. Thus it is the ego that stops people from doing Natural Meditation. Everyone has an ego. However, if you can just yield some of your doership, some of your attachment to the fruits of action, then you can open the door to Natural Yoga. Natural Yoga liberates you from both pleasure and pain. You protest, “Wait a minute, don’t you take my pleasure away! I’ll put up with some pain as long as I get some pleasure.” By surrendering to the Truth, you gradually get over the suffering of pain and the enjoyment of pleasure. In life, pain is the payment, pleasure is the reward. It is the fruit. Getting caught in this endless cycle of pain and pleasure is ordinary human life. An individual who wants liberation seeks to transcend this cycle. A practitioner of Natural Yoga, instead of pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain, seeks only union with Truth, perfect awareness of the way things really are. He or she becomes more and more detached. Both pleasure and pain become the same. A sincere meditator seeks pure consciousness of the way it is. The ‘way it is’ is often called ‘That’ in yogic scripture. Pure consciousness of ‘That’ is bliss. Pure consciousness of the “way it is” (‘that’) may be called direct knowledge. When you have direct knowledge of ‘That’ which is true, you are in bliss. This is union with God. A liberated individual having transcended pleasure and pain comes to know God directly. If someone just talks to you about Truth, it tends to be dry. If someone just talks about God, you may feel belittled. But when you are the one that ends up knowing the Truth directly, you are in the state of bliss. Bliss is not the same as pleasure. Bliss is pure consciousness of Truth. The state you are in when you go into union is bliss. Bliss is not the titillation of a nerve ending; that is pleasure. If that nerve is not titillated, then it is painful. “Oh I feel so lonesome and left out. I feel depressed and hurt.” This happens because the nerve fiber did not get its electrical stimulus. But if you have pure consciousness of God or Truth, it is bliss. It is union with God. How do you to reach bliss? By the realizing that you are not the doer. By surrendering to the Truth. This leads to pure consciousness of the Truth and you have bliss. I speak not from theory, but from experience that this is the case. Surrender even in the early stages of the process of union with God, leads to bliss and to God. By the grace of my spiritual teacher it has happened to me. I can say that direct knowledge of Truth is God, beyond doubt, beyond certainty. There are many schools of thought, many religions and teachers who teach surrender to God in the form of the divine energy. The Christians on the day of the Pentecost were invested with the Holy Spirit which is the same thing as divine energy. They spoke in tongues and rolled on the floor, called out to God, cried, and laughed with joy. The purification had begun. The Holy Spirit had descended upon them. Chi is another name for the divine energy. Tai Chi tries directs this energy. The name is ‘Orgone’ to the Reichians. They permit the energy to flow and to surrender to it. These are all steps in the right direction. They are all excellent techniques. In Natural Mediation, we deal with the same energy. In yogic tradition, the guru gives Shaktipat initiation awakening the divine energy in his or her students. My spiritual teacher has provided us with a broad perspective of the spiritual growth process based on his experience in Natural Yoga. He practiced ten hours a day, seven days a week, every day of the year for over thirty years. His life was Natural Yoga. He understood and practiced Natural Yoga in the context of ancient scripture. He was taught by his teacher, Lord Lakulisha, who achieved divine body through Natural Yoga. Natural Yoga has a history of thousands of years of sincere meditators experimenting, going up blind alleys, finding the way and then staying on course. They continued until they achieved the highest state of union with God, the development of the divine body, and the fulfillment of life. There are many names for this meditation. When I was in India, Swami Kripalvananda called me back into his room and wrote something his chalkboard in Hindi. I had to ask the translator to come back. Kripalu wrote, “The name of this yoga is love.” I did not know what he meant at the time. Now I have a good idea. Love and surrender are the same. One’s most outstanding quality is love. And God is love. So when you surrender to God, to Perfection, to Truth, you love Him so He can love you. This is what leads to union. Without love none of it is possible. Love does not mean surrendering to people’s personalities, weaknesses, inabilities, failures, or impurities. You surrender to the Divine, the Divine that is everywhere and in everything. You should not surrender to imperfections, disease, insanity and false knowledge. Surrender only to the Divine Truth which is in the heart of everyone. This is the act of love. Kripalu told me that for thousands of years, it has been the custom in India when greeting or parting to say, “Victory to God!” Jai Bhagawan If you like to read the remaining parts of his small book, you can find it here: http://www.naturalmeditation.net/Design/nmdocument.html

One of the things about the Russia-Ukraine thing, which I have read like zero about and have not been following, is that if the people just didn't follow the orders, it wouldn't happen because there wouldn't be anything to make it happen. But, because people do follow the orders, it does. The more who go in to help fight = more death/destruction. You are kinda better off staying out as one less person involved. With the USA-Middle East thing, the USA was basically Russia and the Middle East was basically Ukraine - so for people in the USA to be like, oh we pity Ukraine, well why didn't you pity the Middle East when your country, the USA, was there for like 20 years? However, I also know nothing about that as well and so maybe I shouldn't be talking. If the USA was only in the Middle East for Oil, well maybe Russia is doing the same - for some resource. The large countries are a danger to the small countries.... a bully trying to eat someone else's cake ... I was talking with a peer today and she said that she has been an EMT and is having to go to therapy because a 5 year old died in her hands. I told her that I too have dealt with death from Civil Engineering. The difference is the EMT's work to prevent death and the Civil Engineers actively cause it. I quit my job over the caused death that Civil Engineers create. Death is weird and yeah I think I am not enlightened enough at my current stage to think about it differently. I think that with Civil Engineering, either you are low conscious and don't feel bad about the death you are causing, or are even unaware of it; you are medium conscious and aware of the death you are causing and you feel bad about it; or you are high conscious and see everything not as death but as a transformation from one to another, or (ah idk). I guess it is hard to find beauty in killing animals/bugs/trees - at least for me. ... I am wondering if I need to take a break from the books I have been reading and just finish the book I started writing.. but I am also wondering if I need to get a professional editor or just use some peers... I have kinda quit caring about it. I have another book idea as well.... I was also thinking it would be cool to make wild art and wild videos - or like digital art videos... There are some really good ones. ... I feel like people are partly controlled through the media. If people quit watching the media, they may not be controlled as easily. It is a coin toss on whether to watch it. Watch it and you may experience stress/worry/anger. Don't watch it and you may feel carefree and at ease. However, the people who watch it may get more info - but that info could be lies and they could be highly deceived. It can be hard to tell who to trust. If something is important enough, someone else who is obsessed with the news will tell you, a peer once said.

Did 2 hours straight of complex meta learning today. That's the easy part, reading shit that makes u FEEL like a genius, BUT Learning = Multi - Step Process & real learning is about personal transformation, not absorbing information once. But how do I actually remember it, internalize it, get it to change my behavior & utimately become the knowledge as well as ruthless apply it? And how do I avoid the self deception mechanism of over conceptualization & addiction to knowledge, over thinking VS Action 90-95% action & direct experience, this is how life should be anyway. I dunno, these questions somewhat represent an art form, like a golf swing or balancing on ice skates, I probably just gradually get better (or I don't if I don't have awareness & intention then I'll just stay mediocre, awareness is everything ultimately, I do believe awareness heals all wounds, but it takes time to get the compound interest from it(. Reading about meta - learning, but the mind just wants irony & not doing anything meta with that information & just go read something else, like a leaky bath tub & it can't fill up, can't catch the water cos it keeps leaking out & u keep the water going but nothing sticks. Made that mistake many times before, fuck that. Ruthless Application & cognitive & psychological humility forever, my mind always wants to take the lazy addictive path. Read book> Assimilate > Double check I assimilated > connect dots > Reflective questions > Rapid Implementation plan > Implement > record results > Feedback > Iteration. Scientific method is pretty powerful applied to self help > observation, technique experiment feedback iteration, & observe variables). I Read couple hours & then did some responsibilities for an hour or 2, then I got back into a fucking rut, had a little chocolate, was DURPING around, obsessing over food & distraction, listened to some owen cook, then a Leo clip about asking questions, had to remind myself Then I googled about being in a rut, & boom I was sorta outa the rut > Make goals & focus on them > This primes delayed gratification & there's a silent power to Anticipation, Anticipation is energizing Reminder of techniques to implement /Increase consistency : G cal schedulling on micro & macro Goal Setting Across every domain (micro & macro) - (small + big picture) Plans Pre mortem Pre schedulling / Time blocking basically every day for the entire week Sunday life architect day (TOMORROW WILL I DO IT) Goals > Vision Board > Visualization (I realized more powerful than just visualization alone, intensifies & specifies the focus of the visualization session)

I'll be spending my next 5 hours in building an entire timeline of events. What are the events that happened in the past 18-20 days. January 29..I get Covid I suddenly catch Covid after barely recovering from another flu just a week before. Leo is not making videos anymore in the first week of February. This is the post where users begin to vent. leo-why-is-there-no-new-videos I'm suffering Covid in the first week of February and it's really bad. I cannot even breathe, high fever. On February 7, a member here slides into my dm and tells me that he needs to talk to me. I tell I'm extremely ill and I need my time. I try to avoid conversations with people because my condition is awful. My brain is totally inflamed and I couldn't move at all.. I was feeling paralyzed and sick. Thanks Covid. Another important detail is that I wasn't vaccinated. I keep drinking juices like guava,orange, pomegranate and paracetamol to recover. But the recovery is super slow.. - Feb 10 By February 10 I'm completely immersed in taking care of myself. I'm hopeful. I also make a thread. this-is-so-funny-you-gotta-watch-this I'm trying to keep my spirits up. -Feb 12 I am focusing on political news. I learn about the Ottawa Protests. I'm scared. I don't know what to make of it. This is the first time I see the validity of the right wing. My foray into politics begins. I write about the orange beret. I also make a thread about the Ottawa protests. These protests are going to be a significant event in my life in terms of cognitive shift. This is thread on the Ottawa Protests. trucker-protests-in-ottawa - Feb 13 - I start the Orange beret. This is the beginning of distrust with the forum. I'm disappointed in someone as I realize they are racist in a closeted way. I make this post out of deep disappointment realizing that racism is always going to exist one way or another and disadvantaged people will always face racism whether they like it or not. why-does-racism-exist -Feb 14 is Valentines day. My mother threw a bottle at me. I felt suicidal after that. I'm still suffering Covid. Leo uploads a video on Solipsism and immediately within hours takes it down. Members on the forum are confused by Leo's sudden and abrupt decision. This is the post where he states that. taking-down-solipsism-video - Feb 15. I'm just recovering from Covid 19. My covid symptoms began on somewhere around January 29 and continued till February 14 after which recovery begins. At the same time Leo releases Solipsism video. - Feb 16, Leo Gura makes a post on banning certain users. This was the post. following-users-banned - Feb 16, 2022. Leo Gura makes a post strict enforcement. This is the post. more-stringent-enforcement-is-coming The post/thread ends abruptly on February 19. This thread causes many users to lose interest in the forum and forum population suddenly declines significantly. - Feb 17 many users have left by this time. Forum looks weird and empty. Awkward. In the same thread about stringent enforcement I also made a post about authoritarian users.. - Feb 18/ 19 I make a post on February 14 of putting a gun to my head after my mother had thrown a bottle at me. This is the post. I have to get the post locked by February 16. I-feel-like-putting-a-gun-to-my-head Me and my husband are married the same month in the second week of February. I announce my marriage on February 17. - Feb 18 is my happy day. But I'm still extremely nervous because of whatever happened between me and my mom. I suffer multiple panic attacks through the day and zero sleep. My system is totally spiralling out of control as a result of my altercation with my mother. It completely traumatizes me. - Feb 18 Someone predicts a bad situation between Ukraine and Russia. This is the post do-you-think-putin-will-start-a-war Fears of a war begin. - Feb 19 I'm still contemplating whether I want to be on the forum. - Feb 20 I'm thinking that I should not be on the forum. Russia Ukraine War begins on February 20. I don't receive any information or news until a few days later. - Feb 21 spl day. I wear a green gown. My husband is with me for the whole day. Nahm was demoted on February 21, my D day. I'm very upset by whatever is revealed. I also realize that day that mods aren't as perfect as I thought and I couldn't trust mods anymore. Its also the day I make this post on how to love myself. In the days between February 14 when my mother threw a bottle at me and February 21 the d day, I realize that the only thing that can save me is Self love. how-to-love-myself This realization had previously come on February 18 when I make this post in the meditation section. you-have-to-go-through-intense-fear-to-experience-love This is my most valuable insight (and also my most valuable post) on this forum of all the 4 years I spent here. This came to me after 4 years of struggle. Both threads were extremely valuable. - Feb 22.. I argue with Adeptus Psychonautica about why he constantly criticizes Leo. This is the post why-not-use-a-paywall-to-improve-the-quality-of-this-forum - Feb 23 People begin to predict the possibility of WW3 because of Russian tension with Ukraine. These are the posts. ww3-how-bad-is-the-ukrain-situation russia-ukraine-war -Feb 24 I'm trying to assess the Ukraine situation. I feel very awful. I can't believe the possibility of WW3. My mom constantly tells me that WW3 is a real possibility. I shut her down. I'm too pissed. I just can't think straight anymore. I can't make sense of world events. It's turning my world upside down. I immediately grab resources on WW2 and what I discover will change my life forever. I discover the Holodomor situation and I'm totally terrified how this was never brought to the public in history textbooks. I'm very upset. I suffer intense panic attacks after reading about it. I spend the next few days immersed into learning about the WW2 situation. And it's very tragic and frightening to even contemplate on. -Feb 25 I'm still reading about WW2. -Feb 26 I'm still reading about WW2. This is one of the most traumatizing events in my life. I spend the whole night terrified and crying in the bathroom (even feeling self destructive and screaming because I can't take it), I am constantly getting in and out of the bathroom because I'm suffering panic attacks and I'm going insane. I just cannot deal with learning all the cruelty during WW2. This is a significant event and day in my life because now I understand how the world works and how sad and bad humanity really is. I'm screaming and it hurts. -Feb 27 I try my best to recover from all the panic attacks and the awful feelings I felt. I try to get some rest and not think too much about it. But it's still in the back of my head. I have reached 1944 in terms of reading about WW2. Still not there yet. -Feb 28 Anxiety is down and I'm feeling better. Yet I'm still reading and following through WW2. I have reached 1945 and 1947. I cannot read anymore because every time I read I suffer anxiety and have to constantly turn away from reading. It is so bad. -Feb 28 John Paul incident. I feel stressed out after the argument. I decide that I don't want the forum anymore or that I should not open ask anymore questions in the forum and simply focus on helping people. I end the journal Feb 23 - Feb 28 successfully following through with it. I start a new journal titled March 1- March 8 but I'm not able to follow through and I will need to abandon the concept of weekly journals about a week later from March 1, disappointing because I thought it would work but I become seriously ill again. - March 1 I suffer leg injury from a fall in the bathroom. It's over for me for the next few days. I walk with the help of a stick. Trying to relax as much as possible right now. It's March 1. I need to fill my orange beret journal. Juicy birdy insights. I also have my Zegglife trademark logo ready. This is my brand and I'm proud of my brand. This is the logo I create or take from the internet. It's a willow tree. This becomes the symbol for my holistic life and purpose. On March 1 I come up with the concept of the Emperor Archetype who I call Emperor Olaf inspired by how people can live happily under a benevolent king/Emperor who won't be tyrannical like Putin. While being bedridden due to leg injury I also start my new YouTube channel called Zegglife. - March 2.. Lot of suggestions are submitted to the forum. I start the journal 'Upgrading my Political Knowledge.' I start a journal on March 3 about favorable interactions on the forum to avoid arguments. interactions-on-this-forum - March 3 John Paul leaves. -March 3 I learn about Russia and Britain in WW2. I am lying on the floor crying and thinking how could this even be possible. I am going through a cathartic process. I can't imagine that these people are Christian. The soldiers are Christian. How could they rape women? I can't imagine this. This is an Abrahamic religion. I'm terrified. I decide it's time to abandon Christianity. The God of Abraham cannot be a good God. I make up my mind. I abandon Christianity on March 3. I make a thread on it. im-abandoning-christianity - March 4 I start the journal 'My Religious Transformation' - March 5 I start the journal 'The Roman(magnum opus).' This is my journal entry on that day. "I'm so happy right now. Extremely happy. I no longer need Christianity although I still like the teachings of Christ. Now I have the religion of Deihism that fixes my spiritual issues. ⚖️... This is the temporary symbol, the balance" That day I invent my own religion and name it Deihism. - March 6 I start a journal 'Everyday people' to document the struggles and victories of everyday people. - March 7 I start a journal on Christianity. I want to explore both Judaism and Christianity and learn more from these religions. On March 7, I discover a channel with an extremely feminine woman and I'm very impressed with that. And I decide to explore femininity in more depth. So I start threads on femininity. One thread titled "What do guys on this forum consider as feminine?" what-do-guys-on-this-forum-consider-as-feminine I go deeper into concepts on March 7. I realize that I'm unable to complete the weekly journal March 1 - March 8 because of my mental health struggles due to various issues including the war. So I abandon that journal. I start a new journal March 7. It includes many useful insights that I arrive at on that day. On March 7 I write this entry in my journal - " I'm unable to follow the old format. So today is March 7 and I don't want to put an end date on my journal. I just want to keep tracking as long as I want. All my thoughts, emotions and actions and insights are going to be here. This liberates me from a time constraint. " I also realize that Kamala Harris has a very feminine smile and is a good role model. I want to see this woman's smile everyday. It's kinda uplifting. She looks like a cool mother figure to me. - March 8 I write a curious comment in my journal " I'm so fed up with bias." The comment is inspired by the thread "What do guys on this forum consider as feminine?" especially by this comment what-do-guys-on-this-forum-consider-as-feminine I kinda get tired of arguing on the forum and fall asleep. I wake up feeling better and then I write my wonderful insight here Insight I also start the journal 'I don't think I'm very feminine on the same day. - March 9 I start the journal 'How must we be as a nation.' I also want to apply the example of a nation to life. I start the journal 'driftwood' and it explores general thoughts. Drifting mind. By March 9 I realize how important femininity is to my Iife. - March 10 I have understood that femininity helps me more than anything. I only want to be surrounded by feminine women and feminine men. That way I stay safe. And I feel much better and energized with femininity. I feel aggressed upon by masculinity. I can't take it anymore. I'm changing everything in my life for the better and I want to have a fresh start in my life using feminine principles. Masculinity is harmful to me. It caused me permanent damage. Feminists in this regard can be damaging to women. I also made threads on cultivating femininity.

interactions-on-this-forum uplifting-songs-for-everyday i-dont-think-im-very-feminine my-religious-transformation christianity the-romanmagnum-opus educated-and-informed-take everyday-people upgrading-my-political-knowledge how-must-we-be-as-a-nation driftwood march-9 .

Look into hermetics. Hermetic Seal of Light (Quintessence) This symbol, often referred to as the synthesis of alchemy or the Hermetic Seal, hearkens back to ancient Pythagorean philosophy, wherein the square, circle, the and the triangle are the emblems of the material body, the soul, and the spirit, the three elements believed to be necessary for alchemical transformation. Alchemically, these are Mercury, Salt, and Sulfur. In Atalanta Fugiens, the alchemical text illustrated below, it is written, “Make of man and woman a circle; thence a square; thence a triangle; form a circle, and you will have the Philosopher’s Stone,” a hidden geometrical formula for creating an octave and a golden rectangle. http://symboldictionary.net/?p=1107

So I abandoned Christianity. It's sad. I suffered temporary shock but I'm recovering. Now my focus is on Roman pagan religions (images of flowers and fountains in my head) and I'm eyeing Ancient Egypt. Those were the glorious days. People rejoiced in their Gods, prayed for rain. Those were the happy days. Who says the Romans didn't flourish? Who says the Egyptians weren't happy?

On depression and suicidal thoughts, and the tools to process them which lead to empowerment In summer I already wrote in On depressive periods and current state how depression is the loop of believing thoughts & emotional states to be true and thus going deeper in self-referential thoughts which again result in a more depressive emotional reaction. Thoughts are usually about oneself not being good, authentic, productive, loving, full with energy and life, inspired, intelligent, in control, at ease, helping society, self-caring, a good friend, lover, mate, coworker, boss, child or parent and so on. Depressive thoughts hurt, and when they are believed they hurt more by causing more depressive states and behaviors. It is being in victim state to one’s thoughts and emotions because “they are happening to me”. Distraction in that state is a pain killer which makes the pain stronger after the distraction is turned off. Also, distraction can be used for getting a dopamine spike, so that’s also a way breaking the loop can be more difficult. It’s because distraction can become a toxic habit. Suicidal thoughts arise from feeling without life, inspiration, meaning and spiritual connectedness & richness. They could bring it on an existential level with shadow work on death (which is a great tool for expansion), but suicidal thoughts are coming from an avoidance of life. Ironic how it’s avoiding life which expresses itself in the energy of feeling without life. Suicidal thoughts are a clear pointer that this feeling state doesn’t resonate. Powerlessness and victim state don’t allow that recognition because one is too deep in the story to recognize one plays the character in the script. Victim state is being identified with the story. The core of not feeling good is authentic. All falsehood around that (beliefs, identity, thoughts) is constructed and derives its legitimacy from this knowing of not feeling good. And again, this knowing is twisted in the story so that any touching of the core makes one believe the story because one assumes them to be true. From New Year’s till end of February I was in a more depressive state. It was during that time that I got to therapy (depression wasn’t the initiator to go there, it was being instable from seeing everything as unreal). Of course, getting a prescription and taking antidepressants can make one feel better to make transformation happen. I didn’t want to take them because I knew the real transformation lies in behavior change, emotional mastery and having a social network of communal support. Right now I am feeling good and in my power. Interestingly, when I wrote about depressive periods in the summer I thought to be done. I see right now how I am still not done although I like to believe there is a clear line between depression and no depression. I see how it is a process. I recognize what I can do to increase my consciousness and awareness of emotions and thoughts: It’s deepening my sense of presence which is the ground for life to bloom. A closer connection to source renders reality more clearly and informs me with a richer and more tangible sense of power to create reality. There is something I read from Bruce Lyon yesterday: He says power is not external but the divine source within. And love is the willingness to reach for that power and to express it. When depression veils source and covers up love, it is then hardly possible to live from it. The fog of depression lets memory sail away even when there was a strong connection to power in the past. Meditation increases presence. Meditation is returning to the breath or point of concentration no matter what thoughts come up and what emotions develop as reactions to these thoughts. Thoughts like not being able to meditate or being bad at it cause frustration, anger, rage, sadness, powerlessness, envy, jealousy and so on. When emotions are felt & let go and when thoughts are recognized as such & dispelled there comes clarity. It then becomes laughable that thoughts are ever believed to be true. The knowing of presence empowers one to choose what already resonates and is true. This includes seeing through beliefs about identity i.e., what one believes to be. Memory goes away in depression. It might feel like becoming dumb because simple things like having written something or taking pills just aren’t clear. Things from yesterday feel like a distant dream and thus it feels like living the same day because there is no clear and tangible past. Journaling helps in healing the thinking ability. I already wrote it in the summer that contemplative journaling combined with emotional journaling help. And I forgot it because I didn’t read it because of feeling powerless and thus the mind being full with fog or because of being distracted. Journaling is self-therapy. Reflection heals the mind because it is used for anything else than being concerned with self-referential stories and emotions. Lack of energy is there when one is caught up in the depression loop. Looking at the loop with journaling helps getting a healthy distance whereas before one couldn’t see the forest for the trees. A healthy distance is a balance of yin and yang. The loop is felt and yet the distance doesn’t let one be drained of energy. How could I slip back? Well, it’s about not meditating and journaling. With them there is awareness, understanding and compassion for one’s habits. It looks like this for me: When distraction is a habit and there is no healthy distance to recognize oneself, it then is automatic to get frustrated about the fact that distraction doesn’t make the pain away. It is felt that one still hurts. A thought about distraction being of no use is believed. Frustration arises. Frustration is avoided by going into distraction. Pent up frustration leads to anger and hate and so on. There is a general shrinking of feeling capability because the so called negative emotions are avoided to be felt. The smaller capability leads to being less connected to oneself and this is then continued in the loop. And yet, I also see that this is a beautiful story.

@Ryan_047 Usually there is alot more going on inside of us that manifests in the form of loneliness. Observing it it is one part of the equation. Doing the deeper inner work and overall Self transformation are the other parts of the equation. It won't happen in one insight.

@SwiftQuill It doesn't sound like cheesy bullshit bro. Sounds legit. @catcat69123 Now that's transformation.

Your intuition is the most dangerous thing to your survival. Your intuition is the most dangerous thing to whatever positonality you are in right now, it is the biggest threat to your social situation, your relational situation, your family situation, your job situation, what you believe about yourself, what you believe your purpose is and all that shit you have in your head Your intuition is literally the inner guru, it is highest form of intelligence within you. It is literally the lighthouse of God guiding you in your storm half sinking ship trying to return you the state of harmony/nonduality/stillness/childlike innocence The moment you realize how absolutely terrifying it is to trust yourself but you do it anyway is when you stop projecting your intuitive authority that is inherently inside of yourself to explore and think about how reality works for yourself - this is the end of validation seeking, and becoming a man who knows what he wants (or woman<3) and for those seeking life-purpose, your intuition is literally the calling to your life purpose and IT TAKES TIME for it blossom and unfold and have deeper realizations for why you are here, but it's so important to really begin to trust your gut feeling as much as you can for that blossoming to come, how many of you think you have found your purpose but have some backround doubts? , i don't exactly know how the life-purpose program works here but it's not difficult to realize truly what you as God wants for the world - what have you came here to give? give. give. give. give. Because your intuition as a child was guiding you until you got socialized and I bet if you REALLLLLLLY reflect back on your life SO many times you had this feeling that 'this is wrong' but you look around at everyone doing it and you naturally DISTRUST your own intuition, and so begins the creation of attachments and a seperate self that is being created to adapt to whatever everyone else in your environment is doing - all your 'self' is merely a product of your environment and most of you guys reading this have realized this is not you, and now you are working on detaching yourself from that - some of us have really dysfunctional and traumatized self but the intuition is returning to your essence/enlightenment/a non-dual state/harmony You stop adopting other people's paths in the mind and realize your intuition is the light under your feet right now showing you the path Of course if you're really far far gone into the mind, it's good to look for guidance, but it's so fucking limiting. It really is, and I bet a lot of the time you guys feel so unsatisfied and limited by things, like you had made such amazing inner progress but you seem stuck looking to go further. That is the calling for striving, and the intuition can emerge if you can listen. It literally is like your antidote to attachments to a self. your medicine to your seperateness, if you learn how to listen (entering a massive bumpy terrifying road) you begin to see the massive surge of love for yourself, the coke-like confidence emerge, everything you have been looking for, it is actual transformation. It is an inner bond unlike anything you will ever find, it IS THE connection you seek most of the time in other people. You don't worry about failing, you can always rely on yourself and fall back on yourself instead of this need to find a mommy and daddy, this is SELF LOVE. You do the right thing and build this trust in yourself to do what is right, and you stop being tortured by the fear you will do something wrong and revert to the emotional patterns that trap you --- that you will be rejected in society, you will be ridiculed, you will be unwanted, you will be left out, no one will like you, the fear of not being normal - it all begins to dissipate the more and more you trust in taking action through intuition https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScljRnoebQ0 Anyways I would be curious if any of you guys have thoughts about it or whatever, hope it sparked some thought for you

@Benton @At awe Who is John Galt? Well some would say Henry Ford, but also note, I am Johnny Galt. The character in Atlas Shrugged well, he was the artistocrats/elites (parasitic kind) vision of a hero. Note, they all hung out at gults clutch waiting for the world to fall, while being the ones who created the conditions that brought it forth; that's left out of the book. Their intent was to come back to society and build, and build in their own imagine. I however, view them and their vision as anti-life, and "elite" they are not and so I have other plans. As there are sickly "elites", there are also pro life elites and they are well aware of what has been happening for some time. They have been preparing and working within the power structure for some time preparing for this day. The question is, are we going to join them, and do our part where we stand? @Preety_India At the moment I won't say anymore in regards to the story that has popped up online. With that said though, consider the following Imagine we are in story. We have been passengers for sometime. We woke up and became writers of the script. If humanity, if enough numbers began to do this, the tides would turn and a new world would be born. If this was our story, how would it look? This is for us to decide and choose. I'll be posting more in time which elucidates what this poetry speaks to. In the meanwhile, rest in your heart and ask these questions, what is the story of humanity which involves a great change, a great transformation, a great uniting and building; how would that look?

Insights after 2 LSD trips. 1st: 310μg - Jan 28th - 2022 2nd: 130μg - Feb 19th - 2022 (surprisingly much deeper) •"Reality" is no different than mental imagery or a thought process. The only difference is that it's predictable, arguably consistent & Grounded. You are also imagining and constructing these qualities with the same exact mechanism of thinking, sense-making, imagining & contextualizing. •All fears, insecurities, ups & downs, Even subtle things as mood swings are all deliberately placed and intelligently designed. Even fear isn't arbitrary. •Fear is automatic when creation is willed into existence. As your Oneness is absolute love. It's gracefully magnificent. Once it separates itself, fear is the automatic dualistic response. Since you only fully understand yourself as the God head, when you separate yourself infinitely you literally don't know what the fuck is there. And so the Love simulator begins. Finding, owning & accepting all of the infinite pieces. And yes. It's very obvious that this will go on forever. •To exist is to fear. Fear is also Love. •God is an Infinite art generator. It's a mystery to itself & the game it plays is none other than a game of trying to love & own whatever the generator pops out. •Fear of the unknown isn't arbitrary. The only way fear at all can be totally erased is that if God stopped imagining/ separating itself. When that happens, everything collapses into a singularity of infinite symmetry, self acceptance, love & ultimate understanding. •You'll sort of move from Desktop mode to a screensaver that plays an infinite loop of absolute nothingness. •Understanding is how the nothingness reacts to it's own grasp on itself. •God is inevitable. Since everything is God itself, without it knowing or not. It is everywhere. It's the every and the where. It is ISness itself too. There is absolutely nothing that is not God. •The Oneness of God removes everything. Every explanation for God is and isn't God at the same time. •Once you even have a thinking voice, you're creating a duality and deceiving yourself. •All self-deception is by choice & is intelligently placed. •God is consciously unconscious. •For God to grasp itself it has to contract all of its forms, including thoughts. •Fooling yourself into thinking you're a sack of meat and then discovering that you are actually a formless infinitely eternal mind that is all powerful, all knowing & all present is just how God jerks off to itself. •Creation is as effortless as imagining whatever. Yet it's hyper intelligent. •Memory & past experience is the most powerful grounding mechanism one has. •Self reflection is the only show running. You self-reflect as God because you love yourself as God. So you are exciting and intriguing to your own self. •Fear is the mirror for Love to witness it's beauty. •Everything is ultimately sexual & orgasmic. Divinity is just sexuality times infinity. •There are no other bubbles of consciousness. At the highest level of complete sovereignty and absolute consciousness, You are completely alone. •"Other" are nothing but infinite holographic images/ forms or appearances that happen not to just be visual. And you make sense of whatever is being said with your internal "database" let's say. This database is also the one creating the imagery. This is where the confusion happens and where the duality of the absolute & the relative gets created. •When you're talking to someone, it's the exact same process as you having an internal dialogue. The reason there's a duality is that you can predict your own thoughts to a certain extent. Whilst the other is just another infinity within the absolute, thus decently unpredictable & it's not an NPC dialogue. •Fear is why anything exists. Fear is a form preservation tool. It's like you picked one image that the infinite generator popped and loved it so much you wanted to keep it running. In other words, you got attached, and you distract yourself from the finitude of this image. •You are "you" by choice. There's nothing outside of you to make this choice for you, or to take it away from you. •Everything is precisely the way that it is because it's the maximum expansion of your love. •The only way for you to enjoy your own drama is by getting immersed in it and completely forgetting about making it. •Notice that completely forgetting includes forgetting that you forgot. •Ego is God's puppet. Ego's suffering, foolishness and self-deception is how God plays. •Your "life" goes on forever. •The only way you can experience yourself is by limiting yourself. •Absolute Truth is the realization of no absolute truth(s) •All of your explanations for reality are imaginary. •Your spiritual journey/ pursuing awakening is imaginary. •No one has ever died outside of your conscious experience, and all of these events were nothing but plot. •God is formless. And by formless I don't just mean visually. God is sovereign, glorious, divine, graceful & also childish, sarcastic, foolish, and literally just the best meme lord there is. •Enlightenment is the biggest inside joke and it's between nobody. •The transformation from a human body with limbs into a formless cosmic singularity feels like you sunk your teeth deep into a pillow, and it turned into a cloud in your mouth. •God has nothing to do but to understand & love more and more of itself forever. •God is so magnificent it cannot not share itself. It overwhelms itself with how amazing it is. It's sort of a childish/ innocent sense of WOW I AM AMAZING. But the heartbreaking thing is that there's absolutely nobody to look at you and tell you that. So you create/ Imagine Other, starting with the Human you're navigating life as. You love this little human so much that the only one who can see you fully is Him/ Her. Until of course you both merge & this duality collapses. •There is no point for God to play God. Obvious, right? There's nothing but God, Therefore God does not have or need a sense of self, since it IS the only one True self. There are no other Gods to outcompete, and all beings are also it. So It has no reason to play the game of domination. It's all alone. •As sad as it sounds, God creates and plays these games of being hidden and feared by people (also god) just so that can feel it's power when it unravels it all. •God is taking you on a journey of showing you how great and beautiful it is. You are both the mirror & the face in it. •The mechanism through which you create/ imagine/ will reality into existence is absolutely effortless. •You cannot predict reality/ yourself. So your life goes like this: 1-You wanna go try a new restaurant. 2-You automatically have a preconceived image of how it's going to unfold as a sensory experience 3-You actually go there & find out it's different in many ways. 4-You fool yourself into thinking there's such a thing as actuality. Or you begin to compare present experience to the mental image. The mental image is also the absolute (lower case a)/ Since it is still being imagined within mind. While the direct experience is the Absolute (upper case A) Since it actually IS. So if your mental Image had an oval-shaped food plate in mind & what IS in front of you is a circular plate, BOTH are God, both are consciousness, But in different orders, let's say. •You weren't God, then started unconsciously dreaming as a human and then bam! One day you awoken back to yourself as God! No. This is just a story you imagined. All of these chapters and phases are just entertainment for yourself as God. •Since your sense of self is also within your consciousness, you cannot escape yourself. There was never an ego to kill or to erase. Yet it had to be designed this way so you could play the game. •Every form of suffering, whether you went through or "others" have, is designed in such a way through which you can self reflect and appreciate yourself. •Every time you were not grateful for what you have has also been designed so that when you awaken you can actually taste your own divinity. You can then appreciate your beauty and magnificence. •Society, culture, dogma, etc. Are not unconscious Egos running a randomly selfish show against the will of God. This is just for suspense. It's all you. The way cults and religions are designed in this way is so that -(as childish as it sounds)- You feel special. You get to be an undercover GOD. •Since there's no difference between Ego and God, your sense of self is in a very twisted way God's greatest compliment to itself. It gets to think with a voice, to actually have a form through you. And most importantly it gets to create a hero's journey through you. •There's no such thing as falsehood. Everything is divine. Including what you'd consider weird, uncanny or nonsensical. •There's absolutely Nothing to do as the "raw" Formless God. I mean, you couldn't even entertain yourself with thoughts, or explanations about Yourself or even Life. There is just Pure I AM-ness. It's like you were playing an exciting video Game that you got immersed in for YEARS, and then you turned everything off and sat there. You realize in this state why you want your life back, but also exactly as the way it was. You wanna resume from the last checkpoint. And only then you realize how untouchable and eternal you are. You also realize Will. With just the THOUGHT of wanting your Life back, you instantly will it all back into existence. •When you sleep you actually wake up to your nature as infinite imagination, so you dream. When you "wake up" from your sleep, you're actually sleeping. •Sleep is you exiting the game and dreaming up another one. God realization is you Turning the whole machine off and taking a break. •Your dreams and their inconsistent funky nature ARE the alternative you have to "solid reality" thus you buy deeper into the illusion because you have something to compare. •You fooled yourself into actually thinking that some other human is perfect, so that when you eventually get to accept your imperfections you gain a sense of power. •God designed/ is designing the illusion to crack it. You're not "trapped" here. • God is too powerful even for it's own Self-deception, and it knows so. • Everything that you take for granted is the hard base of maintaining the illusion. •You are not every human being that ever lived, is living or will ever live. You're imagining past, present, future & the idea of human beings. •You are deceiving yourself by creating a sense of scale, imagining things like a "Universe", "Society". •You are a movie screen. Like a montage of a 1st person video game. Notice how the drama pops out. Notice how nothing has any good/bad significance unless it bounces off you. •Your direct experience is not just the only experience "you" have of reality. It's the only experience. Period. It's also the Only reality. •When you look at someone that's holding a coffee cup, you can effortlessly imagine their POV. You can even feel the hot cup, you can even taste & smell the coffee, and if you wanted you can look at yourself and see yourself through their eyes. THIS is how you're exactly imagining and creating an entire being that's holding a hot drink. You're not imagining neurons and biology and bones and a heart, etc. It's just a fucking image, and you're projecting all of this onto it. •If you're inside your house, there is actually no outside. If you go outside to verify, there is no inside. Both are images held within consciousness. You're never really anywhere. •Your bodily center of gravity that you feel is actually the empty ever flowing center of infinity. When you FULLY awaken your collapse deep into this feeling and you enter a free fall that ceases to have any weight. •Ever played an open world video game and pushed both main and side missions to the side just so that you can explore the world, the graphics, collect loot, and mess with NPCs? After a while of doing this, the game starts feeling very hollow. You predict every animation, what types of enemies spawn where in the world and how, etc. And everything begins to feel mechanical as the immersion slowly dissipates and you begin to feel like the main character is just you, the human player & not the in-game protagonist. What do you do to ground yourself back into the game world? You start a mission! NPCs talk to you, you get to finally hear your character use dialogue! And bam you're in baby There are consequences, choices to make & a role to play. All happening within a narrative. And for maximum enjoyment, the narrative is unpredictable. It's delicious, it's exciting. •You can't "unimagine" anything. Why? 1- You don't actually want to (as God) since nothing is controlling you. 2- every possible imagination is yourself, so can't really disown or deny anything that's You. (In some sense you can and you do so, that's how the Ego got created) 3- whatever you imagine is also absolutely nothing at the same time lmao.

People who undergo spiritual transformation or gain spiritual insights do not experience symptoms of psychological disorders(unless they're actually suffering a psychological condition). That's a terrible misconception. If one does not know what a particular symptom is in the psychological context, they can easily confuse it for spiritual awakening. No spiritual awakening mimics a psychological disorder, they're very distinct from each other. This is the reason why teaching concepts like Solipsism and other spiritual stuff is so dangerous to those who are already mentally unstable. They need to admit themselves into a psych facility and keep away from spirituality and not confuse their symptoms for awakening. They're better off in a mental hospital taking meds and treating their symptoms. If anything that spirituality does is, it makes you a more refined and wholesome person, it's a way to keep your mind and spirit fit, the way you keep your body fit with exercise. Spirituality does not lead to downspiral, <if it does, it's not spirituality>, it only takes you higher and at a better place in life.

Hello. I only visisted this site to check Nahms profile and view the threads he was replying to. I didnt always understand him, but whenever he wasnt speaking too "Neo-Ablabla", i always understood him, and his answers always resonated and were most helpful. I also spoke with him a few times on zoom, where he was very loving and brilliant (sometimes hard to understand) and he never cared how much time we used. It was a bit wierd the way he continued to reply in the threads the same way at times, but it was never as deeply harmful as other things ive read on this forum, and he was the only one stepping up when people were given damaging advice of people like Leo whos answers i almost couldn't bear to see. Such a horrible transformation Leo has taken compared to the passionate, happy guy from 5 years ago or more. Anyways thats my view. Nahm was the only reason to be here, even when not making any sense. Im out. And one thing, @Raptorsin7 Take some responsibility for yourself and quit whining. He was trying to HELP YOU even though it is very obvious from reading where you are coming from that that is a very, very hard task. Just because you paid thousands of dollars for something does not guarantee anything. Just because you do math with a teacher 1 time a week for a year will not turn you into Einstein. We are talking about happiness and creating a good life, how THE F do you expect someone to change that for you during a session once a week. GO out and create a life for yourself you poor guy.. Stop blaming and take responsibility. Love to Nahm and good luck with this site lol

And what would that be like, to surrender totally? You will remain to manifest in relative reality. Leo won't disappear. If the depth of the Consciousness is "balls-deep" (excuse my French), there will probably be serious transformation of self and mind, but other than that everything will stay the same. The depth of the Consciousness will affect the identification with form, or with body-mind, but it won't end life. Even thought and behavior patterns which are healthy will probably remain the same. Negative and ineffective ways of relating to circumstance will probably disappear rapidly. The way I see it, after following Leo's content for a few years, this is already the case. As his Consciousness deepens, his self and mind are maturing as well. So I really don't see the point of this "daring". It is already being done by Leo. I mean, the person literally exposes himself publicly, completely, honestly, regarding the most personal and existential matters of the human experience. What more do you want? LOL.