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3.5 grams for a first-time is deep work. You're very strong mentally to get over that peak as well as you did. You did what you needed to do at that time. With more experience, you will learn that whatever happens, it will all be OK. I would get the"Why the fuck am I doing this again" when I did 2gr, at times. Depression seems to be the root of that for me. So I take stock of myself and try to go in with a clearer mind. I don't have depression all that much anymore. The laser lines are visions that you created, your imagination projecting back at you with a lot more force and that can be fearful, or blissful. YOu can learn from bad trips, after the peak, when the " I'm going to be OK" settles in, then it can be so amazing going from "metaphysical angst", and then bliss.. That light within", love. Nice. I think it has another source, magical/mystical/alive ,. I take it as a contemplative expression. Centering.

They are not. They are capable of unconditional love, compassion, gratitude, forgiveness etc. It's just that these characters got buried deep within because of the environment and the survival characters are reigning now. You can recognise that these survival traits won't serve the purpose of finding them true happiness,peace and bliss, and be compassionate towards them for not being able to recognise it. Compassion is one extension of love. The main purpose of Spirituality is to awaken such people, from their deep programming due to survival needs.

I am always with me, but I still miss Myself. It's more like I miss not being myself anymore. The me that I become when I am not Myself yearns for the Me that I am when I am not myself anymore. I long for the bliss of being Myself but this self that I am stops me from not being myself anymore. My tongue has tasted the forbidden fruit. The fruit that led me to Myself when I was not myself anymore. The gold shimmers and the birds sing beautiful songs.The merchant sells, and the addict buys Is it them, or is it Me? I truly can't seem to tell me from Myself any more. I quit all the drugs so I could experience more of Myself. Only to discover the strongest of drugs: A state where there is no me, myself, or I anymore.

^^^LOL you are a wise fool because if you awaken you receive the greatest gift ever....yourself. You get free samadhis whenever you want, you get bliss for free. You can rev up the feeling of love or dial it down. You also understand people at the deepest level imaginable. No therapist, no psychiatrist could ever know or understand people better than you. Because you gain complete self-knowledge in that you know beyond a doubt that every person, every creature, everything is GOOD. You discover what GOODNESS is and get to see it from different angles. You understand that all the things you call evil actually SERVE GOOD. Because GOOD is so GOOD it can only experience itself through duality....so that is why all things we hate serve all things we love. You are able to see it and it makes you laugh.

It doesn't matter if it's real or not. The solution is the same. Whether is god or demon, Angel or devil, sadness or bliss, extacy or agony. Simply allow. Be the presence that allows all things and is beyond all things.

In Hinduism, Brahman (Sanskrit: ब्रह्मन्) connotes the highest universal principle, the ultimate reality in the universe.[1][2][3] In major schools of Hindu philosophy, it is the immaterial, efficient, formal and final cause of all that exists.[2][4][5] It is the pervasive, infinite, eternal truth, consciousness and bliss which does not change, yet is the cause of all changes.[1][3][6]Brahman as a metaphysical concept refers to the single binding unity behind diversity in all that exists in the universe.[7][8] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahman

With the energetic practices/meditation that you describe one can generate states that are awakened and boundless/nondual. But as soon as the energetic practice stops, the separate-self Gestalt/structure "kills" the nondual boundless blissful state when it comes back after practice. One can literally feel it contract back in the head. Its like applying medicine to a disease. Relieves the symptoms, but not the source problem (separate-self contraction. Literally contraction, creating contraction/location/center in the head and body). There are practices that dissolve the separate-self-contraction directly (the root-cause, or the source problem, and not just its symptoms, no nonduality and lacking bliss), in a way that the whole flow of I-thoughts/I-feelings is cut off in real time fast enough (Trekchö in Dzogchen for example, certain Mahamudra practices), That (dissolving all me-thoughts/concepts and -feelings) fast enough in real time (needs a lot of training) then leads to dissolving the sensation of being centered in the body (the contractions and localizations), and also leads to "hard" nondual/infinite Awakened states (then also off the pillow in daily life), including the "solidity" of the "outher" world being replaced by mere lucid appearance hovering in infinite Nothingness/Reality/Ones True Self as expressions of it, "seeing itself". Without these two shifts towards truly nondual awakened states (loss of center and mere appearance instead of solid external world), most of the talk/writing about it is just wishful thinking and conceptual speculation. It is not just thinking differently, these are "hard" awakened states. Only in these awakened states can the real state of Reality be realized, and the separate self slowly dissolved. Without these hard awakened nondual states, there is only illusion/duality/separate-self, and no chance to really realize what the underlying nondual Reality beyond the illusion/ignorance really is. I have the impression that is an important point for you, since you are among the rather few that actually practice and not just engage in conceptual speculation, but in generating these awakened states. And I agree fully on that. I have written extensively about these practices of Dzogchen/Mahamudra. If that is done proficient & fast enough, the mechanism of creating a separate-self and a localization & center stops, and one has these awakened boundless/nondual/infinite states of Infinite Nondual Consciousness in daily life when getting up from the pillow. I can confirm this from my own practice. It is too good to be true. Yet, it is true, and at that stage of practice always available. From that basis and in these states, one can dissolve the last remnants of the separate self contractions/localizations/lenses of perception in the burning of ones own infinite and impersonal True Being. The contractions that were the separate-self/ego melt like ice in the sun. I can only invite to try these techniques. In my experience, they are way superior to any standard concentration/energetic sitting meditation/practice. Exactly because it attacks the root-cause, and opens up Awakened Nonduality States in daily life. Mahamudra uses extensively concentrative sitting-meditation and energetic practices (Tummo for example) in the beginning, but goes beyond it as soon as possible. Off the pillow. Water by the River Here a description of the practice system I mainly used: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/92467-god-fucking-damn-it-another-meditation-rant-thread/?do=findComment&comment=1309816

I understand what you're saying and I think you understand what it is I experienced. I was also identifying with those feelings. IT seems like I dropped all other identifications but held on to the feelings, which I was still and am identifying with or as, whatever the term is. I'm not going through a psychosis, as some may think, nor do I not see myself as separate, even though I know that's an illusion. It will take more than a little wine or a little weed to make that shift in consciousness. I know I felt something and when you said "open new doors in my perception that i may not have experienced before, I totally resonated with that. It's not like things aren't back to normal, but there's something I'm seeing, not with my regular eyes, that I can't compute nor explain. Not even how I see myself or the world, nor the situations around me. It's all the same, just something there, that I can only sense but not with my normal senses. I'm not feeling euphoric nor ecstatic bliss, far from it. The best I can say is it is like something keeps whispering to me in a non-verbal way. Saying something that I can't interpret, or I am trying to interpret but can't. So yes, I'm just sitting with it and letting it unfold without interrupting or trying to figure out what it is. It seems like it is it's own guidance. Thank you.

This was a very lucid dream I had several years ago and would like to share it with you. In the dream, I was walking in a crowded area when I saw a cave off in the distance. For some reason I was drawn toward the cave and decided to go in and investigate. As I entered the cave, I noticed a small group of primitive people sitting around a fire in the center of the cave. By the tone and nature of their voices, they were discussing something of importance. As I got nearer, they stopped talking and one got up and came over to me. He stood there for a few moments, smiled, then took me by the hand, and led me out of the cave and to a carousel located off by itself near the cave entrance. On the carousel there were hand painted wooden figures, which looked like fairies or some sort of small people. When we got near the carousel, it started moving in a circle and playing loud invigorating music. The primitive man pointed to the carousel indicating that he wanted me to go aboard it. It looked exciting and I knew it would be fun. I jumped on and it immediately increased in speed until everything was blurred. In one instance many lives passed by, I knew myself as many different people at many different times - in the past and in the future. Suddenly I was suspended in space where I was the only thing that existed. It was total darkness, but somehow I was surrounded in a brilliant light. In fact, I was the light. I was everything that existed. There was nothing else except me. Through my being ran pure joy, unconditional love, and there was a sensation of such magnitude that it can't be described. It felt like a sexual orgasm multiplied by infinity. Time didn't exist. I just was. I existed. I was I AM and nothing else. I had been here forever and would remain here forever. The thought entered my mind that this was wonderful but I needed to cause a "movement." I needed to cause a "flow of energy." At that moment, I had an overwhelming and compelling urge to initiate a flow of energy. I knew if I moved, energies would be put in motion, and there would be creation. I moved. All around and within me I saw galaxies come into to being. Universes were being created and stars being born. It was exciting, the more excited I got, the more galaxies were then created. Another thought entered my mind of how exciting it would be to explore this new creation that existed. As this thought entered my mind, I was born. The following is a poem that resulted from the experience. “Dedicated to All True Seekers of Truth” In the abyss of eternity where there exist no dimensions, width, or height I basked in ecstasy and existed as a sparkle of a most Brilliant Divine Light. I was aware of My Being and did not question how I came to be While reflecting in perfection, I knew that nothing existed except for Me. Then came a feeling of loneliness that for Me was hard to know and bear I wondered if there was anything for Me to Love and for which to care. As eons passed in the eternal now, I continued in bliss to enjoy But somewhere deep within lay an intense desire to create and to deploy. I knew if I was to act, energy would then be created and would be dispatched In Eternity, plans conceived with Love and patience were now carefully hatched. Finally in one brief moment, the decision to move and act was resolved Thus out poured Brilliant White Light in which infinite Love revolved. Now everywhere among the emptiness did boundless dimensions come to exist Looking all around in wonderment and to continue to create I could not resist. Out poured more infinite Love and energy and to the distant realms it did fly In the newly created galaxies did new minted worlds form with land and sky. As I looked upon the new Creation with infinite joy and holy delight There were many worlds to know and in which to imbue with Truth and Light. As this thought was created, out to the infinite worlds it did rapidly scatter Portions of My Being continued to fragment and became part of all physical matter. With interest and delight, I viewed My creations with unlimited joy and glee But somehow it seemed lacking and needed something more for the completion of Me. I needed someone with whom to commune and love in all My days Someone to share my thoughts with and someone to share in all My Ways. To live each wonderful day with exceeding joy and to a complete fullness We would share our gentle love with hearts filled with unlimited goodness. So now it was done and all forms were thus completed As I looked around there was nothing more that I needed. As the species of mankind evolved and deeper it fell into the world of materiality The voice of the Divine Spark now spoke even more softly while in this reality. Man’s advancements in the sciences were most magnificent and deadly But to the voice of the great Wisdom within, man chose not to listen willingly In time and space man continued to think thoughts that caused him wars and grief If only he knew he was a Co-creator and would accept this as his most holy belief. In the depths of despair, a Man did lie in torment one stormy dark night It was nothing he could do, even when he tried with all his earthly might. To the heavens in fury and grief he did loudly call Asking for help from any heavenly being, any at all. Instantly in the room of despair there was a most brilliant and holy flash My Beloved your prayers were answered even before you have asked. The Voice so gentle and filled with kindness did say Wisdom is now yours and your new life has begun this day. With infinite joy the man looked about the room for someone other than himself Than suddenly without a doubt, he understood the words, “ Man Know Thyself.” For all True Seekers there is always the Master To aid and comfort in all your perceived disasters. Listen quietly for the Divine Voice within And with perfection, each day will begin. For Heaven, to the skies do not search or seek Because within yourself, there you must take a peek.

@Javfly33 Yeeeeep. Going out of meditation is amazing, first it's pure beauty, peace and then after a couple of minutes you can actually "see/feel" your mind putting labels on material things ruining this bliss moment and so Maya continues.

If there is still "someone" thinking/feeling of being totally alone, there are also still "others". Empty Impersonal Infinite Consciousness/Reality contains these thought/feeling-arisings of being alone. "IT" is so empty that it can't feel alone. That would be an arising of thought/feelings "in Itself". If these last arisings of separate-self-afraid of being alone-fear are transcended, there is only (impersonal) love and bliss in that Nondual Reality/Infinite Consciousness, realizing itself as one without a second. Before that Gateless Gate, the game/Lila uses all fear- and delusion-meachnisms to scare the separate-self away from Truth. Beyond it, there is only nondual unity, love and bliss. One justcan't see this from before the shift, which is in the nature of the game. No Illusion, No Duality, No Other. So fear is the price to pay for the game/Lila of having "an other". Selling Water by the River

Weekdays: beep, Beep, BEEP, hit snooze, rinse repeat x 5 MUST shower. Awake. Get dressed. Make tea, possibly coffee. 9am. Pretend to log on, by saying "hi" to work colleagues on phone (I work from home). Faff about with emails, this forum, other crap. Stretch exercises. Crazy dancing for three songs. Breakfast at 10am. 10:20 think about starting work. 12:30 lunch time walk, 40 minutes (but that's the afternoon already). Weekends: ZzzZzzzZzz 10am MUST shower. Awake. ... the rest is unstructured bliss. Occasional meditation.

People are actually very simple. It's like this. People are simple, but how that simplicity is expressed is through a complex web of lies and denials. But once you understand the core similarities shared between all people then that complexity becomes easier to understand. The more you understand your individual self, the more you will understand the collective. At the core of humanity is a desire for mystery. I have recently become aware that a significant part of humanity ENJOYS being confused. People are very easy to understand because a person's actions reveal...how they really feel. Seek to understand what motivates you. Study human history. Study current events. Study yourself again. Eventually it just CLICKS. Then it will all make sense. The problem is...it can become boring. I now understand why in some cases ignorance is bliss. There is a child like wonder in ignorance.

...what prevents you at any moment from tapping into a high state of being you were in "2 years ago" when you were meditating? I think we all agree that one of the challenges of this work is maintaining the state of being. Anyone can get to the peaks, but who can stay there for more than a few minutes or hours? Well what I'm talking about is that if you are sitting normally in a normie state of consciousness, it might be possible to "swift" your consciousness and energy vibration to the one of the memory of that moment when you were meditating 2 years ago and you were feeling so good. This doesn't have to do with mentally remembering how good it felt, no. It would be more that your body and energy system remembers it how that boundary dissolution felt, and instantly activating that blissful ecstatic non dual state of being. There are some awakenings (and sorry, but in my experience, usually psychedelics can not do this), that if are intense and clear enough, the experience is so crystal clear and intense that one can "re-activate" that because in a way it has been "saved" in the configuration/memory the body. In the same way your mind has memory and a traumatic event can be saved for ever, your bliss body (that which is experienced when body dissolves into boundlessness state) also saves this experiences in a sort of memory too.

Interview with a Christian monk I thought is worth sharing:) Is Christianity basically working on Enlightenment, Absolute Truth, Tao, Supreme, State, etc? Basically what all the Other Eastern paths are teaching/working on? "Yes. If you look at Anapanasati as practiced in some parts of Buddhism, the point of the practice is to strengthen/realize Awareness itself, as well as what lies at the bottom of the breath(that's a little hint for you by the way since I know you're also working on this). That Awareness is the key to unlock the rest of the doors. When The Ego is detached from, you remain as Awareness, and then can merge with the Source of Awareness which is what everyone is working on, the Source being the same as what everyone is calling it by different names." How does the Christian access Awareness and Detachment from Ego? "There are a number of ways, but I will cover two of the most important. The first is the ritual of Baptism, which simply activates Grace. Once Grace comes over you, it is a direct experience and a living presence that indwells you from the top of your head and instantly gives you The Timeless Now, Transcendence, Detachment, Destroys the Ego, activated divine Love, and all that's left is you as Awareness devoid of everything else. Then just surrender and let go and you as Awareness will merge with the Source. There is then no more you to be found anywhere, but are also United with everything and everywhere at the same time. As far as the first part above goes, there may still remain some fragments/pieces of ego left over that continue to stir up. With that, we do the Jesus Prayer focused on the Heart area where the access to the Source is. By doing the Jesus Prayer on this specific area, several things are accomplished. The ego is not only busy with the prayer, but also awareness learns pure concentration while ignoring all other subconscious arisings. Eventually, Awareness realizes the Source of thought and enters into it. The place is a few inches to right of the Heart. With Awareness resting at the Source of thought, eventually the whole Ego/Subconscious mechanism is pulled at the root and only Spontaneous Union and Grace remain." Do many Monks reach these states that you speak of? "Of course not. As with all institutions, there are members at various levels of growth and realization. There are also various ego games, traps, arguments, politics, and some who never reach perfection. However, with many elders deep in various levels of the perfected state, they tend to oversee selflessly the rest of the flock, and many times their own infused energies of higher states are enough to get the beginners started on their own path." So there is such a thing as Infusing others with various activations that help them along? "Yes of course. When you are in close proximity with an Elder who is far on the stage of perfection, their own Awareness is so expanded, it literally has an effect on your own. That's what Halo's are in all the Spiritual paintings, not just in Christianity but also in Hindu-Vedic depictions and also those of Buddha himself. The Halo is just the inner Awareness that is you, prior to ego and body. It eventually expands beyond the head and many times you can see it on the elders." Are all those other Paths legit as well? Why did you choose Christianity instead of other paths? "There are many Universal similarities in all the paths. Detachment, Awareness, the Source, Discipline, Wisdom, Knowledge, and an Absolute Truth that can be experienced which is the prior underlying reality of all of reality. I tried various paths as a young man and college student and ended up staying with Christianity because the direct experiences and Grace came really fast for me. It took about a year of seriously getting into it that I started to experience ego death, the Now, Transcending all things (body, ideas, thoughts, self). Everything happened really fast through Grace. Some of the other paths I tried, I was getting experiences but they were at a snails pace. All that to say, I am not trying to discredit any of the other paths." Some people say Christianity is just a go-to-Church feel good about yourself singy songy wishy washy type of Religion where the majority of followers don't get any huge internal breakthrough's. "That happens with many paths. They eventually get watered down and become a facade of their former selves. Aren't various forms of hot-room Yoga's the hottest(pun intended) pop-forms of exercise in America these days? That's just one example. The actual Yoga (meaning Union, or to Unite with the Source) is a very advanced system of remaining Aware of the Body and Mind in the midst of various poses, all leading back to strengthening Awareness. One of the benefits of Yoga is that you may come across physical attributes that are tied to the workings of the Ego such as various physical knots or childhood traumas that can be released during certain stretches. Just as well, the channel that the Ego uses to take it's place as a veil over Awareness can also be opened during Yoga practice. So in essence, many of the Christian Monasteries, or even lay hermits, are genuinely working on inner planes through various degrees, techniques, practices, and Grace...all of which eventually lead to Tao, Source, God, Supreme, Absolute whatever you want to name the Nameless direct experience. Christianity has also become a watered down fast food western version of preaching, singing, and one hour a week of service. To really have breakthroughs, requires lengthy time spent in practice, detachment, prayer, meditation, etc. When Jesus went into the Desert for 40 days, that is something every Christian should do. 40 days in any retreat or wilderness will bring out the worst of the ego, the perfect opportunity to see that it isn't you and detach from it as Awareness." Did Christ exist and are his teachings real? "When Buddha said not to take his word for it and to see if what he says is true through direct experience, the same thing applies to the teachings of Christ. We put his teachings into practice and eventually start experiencing fascinating states directly for ourselves. You yourself are the experiment, the laboratory for testing to see what happens. When you start to experience the same things Christ taught, that tends to solidify his existence. Also, many Monks adore the Gospel of Thomas. If you read that Gospel, many of the sayings there are very Nondual sounding and tends to link back to everything else in the East. He speaks about alot about Oneness that is experiential" What about faith? I had a fellow argue with me that Christians have to use Faith and that since Faith is of the Ego, it's dealing with illusions of the mind "You only use faith for a little while, say agreeing to trust in, or have faith that this path may possibly take me where I want to go. Once you do experience the things you were looking for within and without, then there's no need for Faith because at that point there's no other choice then to directly live from direct experience of the Absolute. A person who tries any other path, you can say technically, is also using a form of Faith in it. If a person looks into Zen, and all of it makes logical, reasonable, and intuitive sense, well then they take the leap of faith(again technically speaking) and jump in head first. Scientists also have Faith in the Scientific method. However it's dated and based on physicality as a rule that has its own sets of rules and limits. One of those rules being that an experiment has to be replicated/repeatable. However, some experiments, by their very nature, can never be repeated. In that case they are tossed aside as anomalies, however those anomalies can also be legitimate things. Take for example this very moment right now. If there was a room full of scientists, they would clearly be able to observe and agree on this present moment, would agree it exists, would be able to record it, examine it, and pull up tons of data on it. However, once this moment is gone, that's it!!!! They can't ever reexamine it again or recreate it. So according to their own rules of the scientific method, reality itself is a anomaly. But I digress" What about Christ saying he's the only way? "Look at the context with which he's saying that. He's talking to a bunch of jews stuck in judaism, a path that does not lead to Enlightenment. Jewish Mysticism does start to touch on some of the subjects we have already discusses, but I'm talking about the normal Judaism of the day. Jesus is telling them to leave their dead ways and that his example and teachings are the only way to find what they are trying to find. It's basically a command in the heat of the moment. If you look at what his Way is, it's a combination of ego death, enlightenment, Grace, Love, empathy, compassion, Tao, Absolute, Supreme, etc. So anyone who is working towards that goal is already following his path. One of the factors of Christianity that is interesting that is not found that much in many other paths is that of Ego-Death through Grace by the Holy Spirit entering the top of the head and opening all the channels and illuminating Awareness, while detaching all else. I believe I've come across something similar in my studies of Kashmir Shaivism. Also some people claim that Kundalini is the Holy Spirit, however I'm not to sure about that as Kundalini tends to be from the perenium and up the spine to the crown, whereas the Holy Spirit enters the head and goes down tot he feet. I would have to brush up on my studies however by researching the word Grace and it's existence in all the other paths On many occasions here during various services, you can feel the Spirit moving around the grounds and rooms of the Monastery. It enters you when you least expect it and slays or burns off any remaining ego fragments and fills you with divine transcendent Love & Bliss as a replacement. " So the Christian Path is a legit path towards Enlightenment? "Why yes of course. I understand you intend to share this discussion with a few brothers and sisters that are Buddhists and of various other paths. If they are already deep in their practice and making headway, then good for them, as it is exactly what Christ was all about. The one thing I feel is necessary to say is that Eastern Christian practice as done in the Eastern Orthodox monasteries is a complete system from beginning to end. I say that, because I found early on that in many other paths, you can merge with the Source, however there still remain ego fragments and the whole of the subconscious stirring up constantly and causing troubles for the rest of one's life. In our school, through the Jesus prayer, all of that is eventually snuffed out and there is a completion stage of perfection where even the body is transformed and filled with light flowing through all the opened channels. So there's a start and there's and end and can all be done in this lifetime. Of course the rest of life remains as a practice of making available to others the energies and Union that is within you by going out to the world and sharing the Light" End

You haven't gone deep enough. If you haven't experienced lack of worthiness then you haven't gone deep enough. Anybody that says God is nothing special, isn't truly conscious of what God is. Hopefully you will get to experience that which is the most special thing that ever was, ever will be. When you reach that state you will realize why humans don't understand anything. Humans think life is hell, only separation from God is hell. God is literally paradise. God cannot suffer, unless God dreams itself as something less than itself. God is infinite bliss, the deepest form of intimacy, the deepest deepest, the most direct direct, the most pure, special, powerful beautiful, innocent, thing ever!!! Words cannot describe God and you say nothing special? LOL. Pure arrogance!!! Only an arrogant ego ignorant of what God is could ever think God is nothing special!!! LOL!!!! Think about this....God created the feeling of nothing special, so God has something to contrast its greatness with!!!

I believe it depends on which perspective you are able to interpret / experience the other from, aka how deep your realization of Godhood is. In case it is sufficiently deep for you to be able to experience the relative domain from the perspective of Being God, then it is simply the best thing that can happen to you (whatever the case is). It still takes work to deepen it and integrate into a human life, but bliss can become common. In case you have personal baggage that can potentially restrict the depths of your realization (amongst other things), the experience of being God (aka everything being the creation of your Mind) can potentially feel threatening to your relative sense of identity. There it can feel like torture since it necessitates for you to recontextualize your whole life, forcing quick and painful growth (in case you don't let your ego turn this into a weapon). P.S: Note that I am speaking without direct experience of Godhood, the closest I have gotten is a few seconds of glimpse into some sense of Unity (which still has lingering effects on my relative development, trying to come to terms with balancing these perspectives still after years).

Of course it can't be compared to anything. But is it eternal bliss or eternal torture or just meh? Or all of it? Or none?

I'm glad you understand. Lol ignorance. If I cut off your finger you wouldn't call that a concept. I've been in that bliss for a ridiculously long time and realized eventually you seek more. God can conceptually know everything, but to experience it is something else. When you are an infinite intelligence, why would you not do what we are currently doing? When you awaken to a high enough state of consciousness you will understand. A human level of consciousness is not sufficient. You need to deconstruct yourself out of your human identity. Human identity= ignorance. Now I'm not saying I can answer every single question right now. But what I can say is that you can find ANY answer you want at a sufficient level of consciousness. Because at the end of the day you are the ONLY authority.

I thought the whole point of making it real was for gods entertainment? *what does god want to do?* A: well it knows everything and it knows it’s everything, but it wants to experience that everything. okay but why experience anything at all if not for the fun/entertainment/ love of it? Why not just be a blank slate forever? I think entertainment is a big part of it and it’s what humans spend too much of their time doing as well. maybe I’m not entertained as much by suffering/struggle and not in love with that as a human. And that is obviously because I’m biased towards harmony/survival and evolution to higher states of consciousness but let’s be honest if we all knew the agenda of god then why even perform a single action as a human . you know how it’s all going to pan out, there’s no need to act unless you have a selfish desire or formulation for the world to be a certain way rather than it is right now and how god intended it there is a subtle ignorance in all of our assertions and my question would be if you disagree with this statement what is the agenda of god? seems like I was born in chains (humanity) and there is a need to transcend it. I’m not a fan of limitation and would never seek it out if there was a clear cut alternative which I believe there to be. I’ve graduated from school and rightly and justly would never go back to learn the same stuff. its very paradoxical. I just don’t get why you could have the awareness that you’re going to go back to struggle and suffering and then have any desire or violation to escape it in the first place. There needs to be a balance man my most charitable understanding is that suffering, “making life real”, struggle, bad thing and evil is all a device created by god for understanding itself more at a deeper level,love itself more, and you can call me biased but even with that understanding I’m not seeking that shit out. There’s a reason your development gets easier and faster when you live in a hospitable environment, some struggle is unavoidable but Sadhguru asks a simple question, “if you could create misery or bliss which would you create?” and the answer to me is unequivocally bliss and I don’t see how god would choose the opposite and no sane human would either

But we are Human. That's not random, God wills this consciously into existence. You could disappear into eternal bliss this instant, but that's not what God decides to do. God decides to be Human.

A lot of people are suffering because of trauma that they don't want to face and that they maybe even deny. They might even deny that they are suffering. For example, a person who doesn't love/value/respect themselves goes into relationship after relationship that ends with them getting mistreated and finally dumped. They might be too caught up in their pride to take responsibility and instead just blame the other part which then causes the cycle to continue. If I could tell this person that they subconsciously don't think they deserve love because of perhaps something that happened to them in their childhood, would that be the right thing to do? Ignorance is bliss and in their ignorance they think they are experiencing bliss, at least most of the time. But if they were to heal themselves and develop better mindsets towards life they would experience true bliss. Sure the journey there will be painful but in the end they will be thankful that they did it. In therapy a lot of it's about making the patient realise these things for themselves, but with my personal experience in therapy I needed to hear the hard truth. I did 3 years where the therapist mostly just listened but when I switched to a therapist that actually told me what they thought, that's when I really started improving. I feel so bad for these people because some of them go their entires lives without realising this and fixing it. And most of the people who do realise these things probably don't start to do so properly until they have a mid life crisis or when they reach retirement and realise that life is about enjoying it, not reaching an end destination. I kinda interpret the saying "if you want to change the world change yourself" as also saying "you can only change people by inspiring them with your own change" but I find this way kind of discouraging because of how much longer that takes and how much time is then wasted on the unnecessary suffering that they might have to go through to realise it for themselves. Maybe it would be seen as creepy to get a psychoanalysis/advice from someone. Especially if it isn't a really close friend or family. Do you think it's pointless, maybe even harmful, to try and tell people what you believe it might be that they need to figure out? Do they need to reach that realisation on their own? Posted this on Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation and God also:

A lot of people are suffering because of trauma that they don't want to face and that they maybe even deny. They might even deny that they are suffering. For example, a person who doesn't love/value/respect themselves goes into relationship after relationship that ends with them getting mistreated and finally dumped. They might be too caught up in their pride to take responsibility and instead just blame the other part which then causes the cycle to continue. If I could tell this person that they subconsciously don't think they deserve love because of perhaps something that happened to them in their childhood, would that be the right thing to do? Ignorance is bliss and in their ignorance they think they are experiencing bliss, at least most of the time. But if they were to heal themselves and develop better mindsets towards life they would experience true bliss. Sure the journey there will be painful but in the end they will be thankful that they did it. In therapy a lot of it's about making the patient realise these things for themselves, but with my personal experience in therapy I needed to hear the hard truth. I did 3 years where the therapist mostly just listened but when I switched to a therapist that actually told me what they thought, that's when I really started improving. I feel so bad for these people because some of them go their entires lives without realising this and fixing it. And most of the people who do realise these things probably don't start to do so properly until they have a mid life crisis or when they reach retirement and realise that life is about enjoying it, not reaching an end destination. I kinda interpret the saying "if you want to change the world change yourself" as also saying "you can only change people by inspiring them with your own change" but I find this way kind of discouraging because of how much longer that takes and how much time is then wasted on the unnecessary suffering that they might have to go through to realise it for themselves. Maybe it would be seen as creepy to get a psychoanalysis/advice from someone. Especially if it isn't a really close friend or family. Do you think it's pointless, maybe even harmful, to try and tell people what you believe it might be that they need to figure out? Do they need to reach that realisation on their own? Posted this on Mental Health, Serious Emotional Issues as well:

belief is, i think this is true ... there is nothing that is true except absolute me, all around is mist and energy and flow all on its unimprovable pre-set course ... i awaken as soon as i align and bask and am smitten with the perfection being viewed and thus i bring precisely nothing to the table ... thoughts tell me the opposite that i must intervene everywhere but leaving them be closes out karma and mental afflictions and tunes in to enjoying my nature which is full time harmony bliss relaxation

@vibv Very wise of you to state all that. I concur. I am very careful. What is your route of admin for Ketamine? It lasts about 1 hour? Thanks Ketamine "IS" funny. It shows me I am one with the cosmos and I am every single person. But I am catatonic about it. There is no anxiety or fear or catharsis or bliss or euphoria. It's just like meh. Which is funny about 6 hours later.