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As I see it, absolute reality is within everythingness (the cosmos) and nothingness (the void, or infinite potential). However, the cosmos and the void themselves are extreme dualities of the dream. The absolute is beyond the dream. It is beyond existence/nonexistence, beyond form/formless, and beyond imagination/emptiness. It is incomprehensible, indescribable, and nameless and it is the absolute essence of it all. It has aspects (love, seamlessness, immutability, timelessness) but it is beyond attributes.

19 minutes ago, Salvijus said: That's clever. But let me challenge this. Who observes that the coffee table has vanished? There's somone else observing the coffee table coming into existence and then dissapearing. I would agree that observer and the objects of observation are ultimately one, but not the same. Bc if it was the same, then if a coffee table was to vanish, YOU would vanish with it. > The separate self or witness vanishes exactly with it. Absolute Reality is initially unaware of itself of no appearance/coffee table arises, but IT has got the potential for sentience, when some appearance shows up. Without appearance imagined/manifesting, NOTHINGNESS. Yes, your Essential Nature, or Infinite Reality itself can never vanish, but it can be unaware of itself if no appearance arises/is being imagined. Nothingness. Not nothing, but a Nothingness initially unaware of itself if nothing arises, but with Infinite Potential to manifest/imagine any possible show within itself. I agree with Hawal that Nothingness is a very good pointer, since you can not associate any image/appearance/attribute with it, since any image/appearance/attribute would be an arising within it. Neti Neti. The empty Abyss of the True Subject, fully nondual when a coffee table shows up, watching itself. . I know, sounds nuts... , but feels wonderful. And when there are no separate self arisings, the coffee table watches itself. And later, when a human thought stream is needed for practical daily business, that appears also within you. But doesn't-need to. True You is still there when the coffee table watches itself, no human identities necessary. Optionally these can be imagined, but the True You is fully fine without them. And any scary-reaction-arisings to this state of things are just protection-mechanism of the illusion/game, also arising in You. Please excuse when I started rambling with these musings again... Selling Water by the River.

Everything is energy. Manifestion is gross energy, nothingness is primordial non physical energy. In that sense i would agree everything is one. It's one energy manifestaing in different ways.

I would agree that a small part of you vanishes when a coffee table vanishes. But your essental nature never vanishes no matter how many objects in the universe were to vanish. Hence that formless nothingness would fit the definition of absolute the best and everything else is also you, but it's your secondary nature, not primary.

Although I agree with all you have written, Salvijus, there is a third formulation that at least I prefer: The coffee table observes itself. Perceptions perceiving themselves. When it feels like that, it is stable. At least for me. And if the coffee table is gone, and you are gone, you are not aware of yourself (Nirvikalpa, Deep Sleep, Cessation). But "Nothingness & Infinite Potential", with a potential for sentience. That is when all dualities collapse in the Always Here Reality that One truly is. And when being awake to That Nothingness/Absolute Reality in daily life, one is not a Witness or a human, but One has a witness or human. In the Reality that One is. Totally nondual. Then "one" gets out of the way, and lets Awakened Awareness do what the you/human did before. And at least in my case, that works more smoothly than the illusion that was in place with the separate self-show before. Water by the River We are that Reality. When you understand this, you see that you are Nothing, and being Nothing, you are Everything. That is all. - Kalu Rinpoche

The Clap of the One Hand/Reality/True You is still there when the light-show of the visual field, and every other formless arising, is switched off. Then "It" is just Infinite Potential, Nothingness, initially unaware of itself. Perception and Awareness (which is always "of" some appearance) comes when something appears. Before that, "It" is initially unaware of itself, but with the potential for sentience. Nothingness with a potential for awareness (of something). In one of my last posts, I described Massaros (Conversations with a Sceptic) example of Infinite Vastness/Nothingness, and suddenly a water pistol is imagined: Before that, no awareness, no nothing. Just Infinite Potential/Nothingness. Initially unaware of itself. So what is more fundamental? Switch "everything off" (Nirvikalpha, Deep Sleep, Cessation), et voila.... But then it is not nothing, but Nothingness, since IT/You has the potential for sentience, and Infinite Potential, since "It/Reality" can be aware of something if something is imagined/manifested/duality appears. Infinite Potential includes Infinite Intelligence and Infinite Love and so on.... When you contact this always here Reality/True Being/Nothingness/Infinite Empty Consciousness-Suchness deeply, and it becomes your True Core/True Identity (which it has always been, but one preferred playing the games of mistaken identity/separate self), then the clear light show of the visual field automatically becomes less important than the Always Here Reality/Abyss. The light show can actually go dark. Nothingness. You are not aware of yourself there, that would be too much movement. The eye can't see itself. But You/Reality has the POTENTIAL for sentience. That Infinite Nothingness is that in which "everything", every appearance the Visual Field, floats in in a nondual way. IT is always here. Behind your eyes, so to speak, and literally . The Nothingness behind your head, and "around" your Visual Field. The Nothingness "below" and in every appearance. Actually every appearance IS this Nothingness, appearing as appearance. Its the Groundless Ground of everything. It is that which gives you absolute Freedom, and Eternity in the palm of your hand. Practically speaking: When the "access" to the Absolute is available in a stable way, it is this aspect that "one" tends to talk about values highest, and identifies with. Not so much the Illusion-Light-Show. But of course the Nothingness is the "substance" or groundless ground of all appearances, in a total nondual way. They are not separate. But the Nothingness/Infinite Potential is more fundamental than the Appearance Clear Light Show. Selling Water by the River

imagine infinite sounds playing right now. We cannot imagine it, but being infinite, multiplied by infinite infinitely, would be absolute silence. and the same if you listen to absolute silence or realize absolute nothingness, it automatically opens up and manifests itself as the flow of infinite "things". the quality that you say must be immutable is the infinite quality, and to capture it you have to do 5 meo in my opinion. infinity is god, it is total plenitude, total love, and at the same time total emptiness and zero. since this cannot be understood by a linear mind that dissects and defines, it is necessary to break that mind with 5meo Yes but there is not observer and objects, that's the thing, just the infinity experiencing itself, seeming that there is a subject and an object. If you observe yourself, where is the subject and the object? Are the same

Interesting. Allow me to challenge this view. By definition absolute means that which never changes. So an open question becomes. Do sounds change? Yes, all the time. Does silence ever change ? No Does silence have degrees? No Does silence have different forms? No By definition only the silence is absolute, never changing, without any levels. It is our true nature, pure witness, primordial awareness. Out this nothingness/silence comes the sound/manifestaion. And manifestaion is not absolute it is relative. By definition no sound, no cloud, no phenomenal experience can be absolute (unless your definition of absolute is something else) This would be my counter perspective to what you sayed that only the absolute exists. I think there's a flaw in logic there.

Then the next stage of nonduality would be to recognize that silence and sound are inherantly one. But still silence remains the absolute and sound remains the relative. We can have silence without the sounds, but we can't have sounds without the silence. Or we can have sky without the clouds but we can't have clouds without the sky. Nothingness is king, manifestaion is the queen.

@Breakingthewall i think you're talking about two experiences or two states. one state is when in our perception everything is one Another state is when in our perception we feel seperation and duality In this context enlightenment is an experience or a state of perception. When clouds of ego are veiling the awareness it feels like everything is fragmented. When clouds of ego are gone, all sense of separation is gone. Yea, that's why it's called nothingness btw. Intangiable, incomprehensible, immesuarble, the womb of existence. Where all states come and go, even the change of perception is happening inside this awareness that undergoes no change. Not sure where im going with this one even

Psychedelics are awesome when done together with meditation. I believe that efficient meditation systems (like for example Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown), explained in an efficient way, plus Psychedelics (but with coaching from somebody who has walked the path to the end and knows the traps) is the future. Where there is potential, there are (as ususal) also risks and traps. Let's look at Wilbers perspective on the risks and downsides: Main Points from Wilber: The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs and I found that over the years they just become mean. That somehow it just kind of closes them down it's like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience and some people like David data will say that you know for altered changes of state to contribute to transformation permanent transformation it has to be basically in endogenous and not exogenous it has to be has your own. See my Endohuasca-Theory and Links to it above. The people that do use both and use it as a sacrament I think an enormous bit out of it. My personal opinion: When you think that the meditation path to make it permanent is not doable for you (for whatever excuse, like genetics) , or seems to unpleasant, maybe you use an inefficient meditation system. Try the one a mentioned above (Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown). I get no roalties or kick-back-paymanents by the way, just love the method/system Agreed, most meditation system on the market have an abysmal "success" rate of Enlightened Ones. But there are some really good ones also. And non of these efficient systems have used Psychedelics + good coaching on top. That is where I believe is the future. Exploring the Multiverse is all nice and important and a wonderful pioneering effort. But as soon as you draw your love/happiness out of the sublime beautiful experiences/understandings, you are playing the same samsaric game of every unenlightened sentient being chasing good emotions to avoid suffering, the usual merry-go-round-cycle. But on a very high level, with quite a show . When psychedelics boost the narcissm/grandiosity of the separate self, well: Best regards from Maya, she just loves you too much to let you go... If you can be "gaslit" on any realization from psychedelics and need to put your foot down: Well, probably the realization of your True Identity (Reality itself) is a bit shaky, or a bit preliminary. The Real Thing can't be shaken. Because You are It, like in "never can not be It". And if you dragged home an alien from I don't know where, and feel like you have become the special-alien-of the day, maybe check if you have received a very seductive love-letter from Maya herself, and consider ordering the Men in Black for the Alien, together with their Flashthing/Neuralyzer that can make you forget: https://meninblack.fandom.com/wiki/Neuralyzer And maybe that Neuralyzer makes you full empty, makes you get rid of the last filters of the separate self, which are just a very very empty, already nondual/mere appearance "feeling" of individuality, a vastly intelligent, potentially "alien" nondual nothing, understanding a lot of the mechanisms of God and the Universe, but still a nothing with the last filter attached to it: Individuality-Arisings (in Wilbers wording, the Transparent Witness, see Religion of the Future), "seeing/looking at" a vast mere appearance Multiverse hovering in Nothingness. So not fully empty yet. And that is the "last few percentage clouds" blocking stable realization, or the sudden Full Enlightenment. Because if the last filters/elements of the separate self go, you can sustain the realization/bliss sobre in daily life.... . Because, if you understood/got rid of all separate self filters IN the psychedelic state, why shouldn't you be able to keep that Realization in daily life? The world gets a shimmering lucid hologram like imagined appearance-illusion-show when you have engaged your Endohuasca-System, which is done with getting rid off these last separate-self elements, see my previous post. At least my experience, and that of countless others in the history of mankind. Why should exactly the Psychedelic-Aficionado not be able to do that? No Endohuasca-system? Well, the receptors in the body seem to be working just fine... Or maybe a different Buddha-Nature? Sorry, just kidding... And if there is no Neuralyzer around, maybe try an efficient meditation system, get to the last stages of Nonmeditation-Yoga (spontaneous automized meditation without a doer still active) And after having used the Neuralyzer or an efficient meditation system, after having looked deeply into the Empty Abyss of your own True Nature/Nothingness, when you are really everything because you are really totally Nothingness (with no 5% clouds remaining), maybe then go hunt for the alien again. But this time, not for getting the love and sweetness of Understanding-experiences or whatever to break the cycle of suffering, but to express the bliss and love of your True Nature that you have then 24/7 going on from your own core. And if one feels gaslit about what I have just written, see the point above: "If you can be "gaslit" on any realization from psychedelics and need to put your foot down: Well, probably the realization of your True Identity (Reality itself) is a bit shaky, or a bit preliminary. The Real Thing can't be shaken. Because You are It, like in never can not be It." And if in doubt: Call these gentlemen, let them take care of the Aliens, look at the Neuralyzer/Flashthing, and get fully empty. But still, the Psychedelic pioneers, facing the unknowns of the Multiverse, exploring Alien intelligences, some even catching an Alien beast or two and dragging them home, going alone boldly to where no one has gone before, facing dangers that nobody else faced before... If there is some material for the movies of the future looking back to our time, where if not there is the true hero's journey to be found... I just hope that they get back from the trips, integrate their experience, get their mindstream awakened all the time, and live happily realized ever after, radiating the love of their own True Being, and maybe even getting the roalties from the upcoming movies of the Psychedelic Heros Journey based on their biography! Bon voyage! In the meantime, It’s for sure one of the most interesting shows on this planet to be seen. At least, it for sure has my attention! Respectfully Yours & mind the possibility of the Bear Manoeuvre in the signature-link below Selling Water by the River

Beautiful post, agree on all of that. Enlightenment is both a state (Understanding/Realization and certain energetic nondual/mere groundless appearance state) but also a waking up/removing the clouds to the Reality/True Self/Enlightenment that is always here, that is Absolute Reality itself, and when called Buddha Nature the core of each sentient being, and knowing that to have always been the case. Like with many pointers to the Absolute, the pointers highlight only one side of the coin, like Advaita True Self/Absolute Consciousness (positive definition), and Buddhist Madhyamaka Emptiness (negative definition). And in Absolute Reality, these paradoxes collapse, since they all point to the same Reality/"thing/referent". Absolute Reality contains the pointers. Once realized, there is no paradox or contradiction left, it makes fully sense and couldn't be any different. It doesn't stay paradoxical. I also believe (but I can't proove it) there is a kind of "Endohuasca-System", that when one is (1) proficient enough with the separate self arisings (like knowing them, even the most subtle ones, like a separate self feeling/sensation/localization/concept/... ), and (2) is fast enough in spotting them/cutting them off (since they arise much much faster than normal thinking, like maybe 20-30 arisings of separate self sensations per second, while thinking "against" these arisings brings maybe maximum 1-3 thoughts elaborated per second, if at all). that explains why you can't "think" your way to shutting off the separate self, thinking is just too slow. It has to be automized, Nonmeditation Yoga-style of the Mahamudra-System. Spotting them when you know their nature as Emptiness/Consciousness/Suchness immedeately cuts them off, at least with some proficiency in the Skill of Reckognition of the Mahamudra-System (see Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown). funny thing is: When one tries to do that, the emerging of thoughts frequency gets much faster. Like a protection-mechanism of the Illusion/Maya. When I learned to finally be fast enough and got faster than this increased speed of thought-emergence, and didn't get distracted or "captured" anymore by the high-speed-emergence-flow of thoughts, the following happened: (1) and (2) trigger some kind of "Endohuasca-System" in the body, which removes the solidity of the visual field, makes it increasingly luminous/hologram/mere appearance/groundess floating in Infinite Nothingness, like Psychedelics do. And it also bring a lot of bliss. https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ That was at least my experience: first major parts of the separate self Gestalt Structure/emerging thoughts go, then the visual field/world becomes nondual/luminous/mere appearance hovering in Infinite Nothingness and with that as a basis, more and more subtle separate self elements/clouds go and all of that in a funny merry-go-around (meditation experience/state -> Realization/Understanding -> Deeper meditation experience/Luminosity/... -> Deeper Realization/Understanding of more subtle separate self element, ....) , like a positive feedback-loop, slowly burning away the clouds. Which can sound maybe harsh or bad or unpleasant, but it is exactly the opposite. Somewhere along the path it was learned that these separate-self arisings are to a large part all the unpleasant stuff, suffering, dissatisfaction,... , and that evaporated as well. And while resting in a very mindful, empty state, when the mind-stream starts getting nondual (and even before that), I learned that I can produce my own good emotions/states, like directly getting the bliss from within. That disabled then slowly all the separate self arisings that didn't feel well. So actually a lovely process, best thing that has ever happened to me. In the beginning, its difficult, but at some point it becomes quite pleasant and continues by itself. Pushing the rock over the mountain-pass, and then it rolls downhill without effort. Please excuse the length of my musings. Selling Water by the River

Beautiful summary. Please allow me some musings on the topic.... What You/Reality/Truth are is/was/will be always the case, can not be different or change. And yet "IT" can be clouded over, like the sun can be clouded over with clouds of separate self arisings (the illusion of being something different than what one really is - Nothingness, but with potential for sentience, and the whole infinite field, nondual. "We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all. Kalu Rinpoche"). looking at a solidified (not just mere luminous groundless appearances) and external (out there, not nondual) world. The sensations of "solidity, not luminous/mere appearance" and "external, not nondual" are specific arisings that can arise in the opening of Reality that one really is, but they don't have to. If they don't, IT/Truth becomes much clearer (mere appearance show hovering in eternal Nothingness). This "on top added" clouding over (separate self arisings) can go, can be understood, seen through. The thought arisings of the person move in You like for example the wind. Arising, but just something happening in Big You/Reality. Then, one has always access to the real state of things (what is always true). Blowing away/seeing through all cloud-arisings of the separate self via certain meditation methods over the years blows away all clouds. Psychedelics are generating a hurricance to blow away most/nearly all of these clouds at once, but it leaves one not able to blow them fully away afterwards without the hurricance. Psychedelics are wonderful tools to get previews and explore the Multiverse/manifested reality, and combining them with efficient meditation methods to see through all (!) separate self arisings is the best of both worlds. Enlightenment has been defined as realizing/deeply understanding/awakening to that the separate self doesn't exist, has never existed, and will never exist. It just seems to exist, like a clouding over of the sun, an illusion, seeing the rope as a snake for example. The sun in this metaphor is what would always be true, always be the case. The Eternal Enlightenment that is always here, the Buddha-Nature at the core of every being, who are already enlightended but don't know it. The sun/IT has always existed, always exists, and will always exist. The clouding over is temporary, a temporary state, and can be removed. The clouding over state (sun not visible, but still "there" would be a state with no Enlightenment) corresponds to an unenlightened mind-stream, with duality and solidified "external" world present. But that doesn't make ones True Nature/Eternal Enlightenment a temporary state. Ones True Nature/Original Enlightenment/Buddha Nature is more fundamental than any state in it, clouded over or not. And if one fully realizes ones eternal empty True Nature, the eternal aspect dominates in ones being. It is more fundamental than the passing and changing illusory show/river of appearances. The eternal unmanifest empty side of Nothingness is more fundamental than the flowing river of manifestation/appearances/"Appearance side of manifest consciousness,->Szyper, Infinite Consciousness". The clouding over can be temporary be removed by a "hurricane/strong wind" of psychedelics, removing 95% of the clouds. When the hurricane/wind is gone, it snips back to being clouded over, and you can't see the last 5% of clouds while tripping (fully empty, but some individuality still left), because the sun already looks very visible. And exactly these last traces of individuality are what makes it cloud over later again. And these last 5% can make a lot of trouble, because they make you think you already removed all separate self arisings... here is where it can get a very interesting show, involving terrestrials/heaven and earth/and maybe even some extraterrestrials. Possibly sometimes even a case for these gentlemen, with the flash-thing... The clouds can be removed fully by seeing through them all, normally done by hundreds of hours in these states. Then, you can realize yourself to be the sun fully. And the difference between 5% clouds remaining and 0% is quantum. Or a deep deep shift in Identity, which remains. Understanding what one really is, and realizing it to ones core. A cloudless sky with only the sun is something fundamentally different than a sky with 95% sun and some clouds remaining. That last shift is certain. One can not miss the last shift. On all other Awakenings/Enlightenments before you are not sure if they are final. It feels like, but one is not sure. This one is. If one has to convince oneself that "this" is it, or decide on it, or if anybody/anything can shake one/gaslight one, well.... it is not it. Which is logical, because if one knows what one is one knows what one is, and if one is not completely sure, then one doesn't know what one is. And it brings the potential for psychological suffering to stop, because psychological suffering IS a big building block of the separate self arising Gestalt/structure. And if one fully see through that (the last 5% of the clouds), one gains the potential to literally cut off these suffering-arisings. If one fully knows what one really is (like in "no doubt possible"), and one can cut off all separate-self psychological-suffering-arisings, who or what could lead you to doubt or gaslight you? Hope I didn't lecture too much. Maybe some find that helpful. For those that don't, please don't do the bear manoeuvre shown in the link in the signature, listen to the "Blackeyes Peas, Where is the love" video, and enjoy the show. The point of the ride (separate self show) is the ride, and if that is still attractive, let's continue the ride... Selling Water by the River @UnbornTao: Can't help it ....

Hi Phil, some ideas: 1) Does the real You/Reality/Infinite Consciousness possibly change? Not the appearance side, but the Absolute Subject, the Absolute Empty Abyss? Reality itself? Of course it can't. You are You. The Absolute Subject. You never changed, can't go anywhere. You are all there is, and ever can be. The appearance side is just an appearing imagined show, relative stuff, always changing. Not stable. And not really existing, just a mirage happeing in the True You. 2) If you fully know what you are, how can you loose that? It can solidify again if you loose the nondual/mere appearance state when the psychedelic wears off. But it doesn't have to. It can stay stable without psychdelics. And that can be done with transformative practices, mainly meditation, to become fully empty, no separate self left, that you ARE the whole infinite Reality outside of which nothing exists. And its not that you need to be a genetic freak or something, or ten years of facing the wall. With the right techniques, it is very doable. 3) Maybe "From my experiences with psychedelics, it seems that I am enlightened in that state but come down to an unenlightened state when the psychedelic wears off" is not the Enlightenment that Ralston is talking about? And all the other enlightened sages? Maybe the "enlightenment with psychedelics" is not the final thing, exactly because it wears off, and you can only have the full insight when you are fully empty, and zero filters of a separate self left/not transcended? I know, many won't like this idea. And that only the full transcendence of the separate self finally ends suffering. And still, its only logical that to become the Totality of the Infinite Reality that You are, the separate self has to go... because IT IS SEPARATE and not the total nondual infinite Oneness of Absolute Reality. Feel deeply into you heart: If you dont fully become what you already are, if you don't give up every filter of the separate self that cuts the infinite nondual reality in pieces, makes it solid, takes its luminostiy/mere groundless appearance/magic show character.... These separate self arisings still running when you got out of the psychedelic state are what solidifies your world again. And they were never fully gone in the psychedelic state. If you get this nondual mere appearance state sobre without psychedelics, then you are sure you have transcended and cut down the separate self arisings sufficiently and fast enough, else you wouldn't get that state that allows insight into Absolute Reality or the True You. And then its stable, you don't come out of it, it is always there. And you can also call that a state. But it is always accessible and present then, and you fully understand/know/Realize that the Real You/Reality/Infinite Consciousness doesn't change, only what appears in it, the appearance side. So it is a certain paradoxon, but only before entering the Gateless Gate. Afterwards it is as clear as day, and everyone who has had that has used terms of IT being permanent and the final realization. When You know what You are, You know what you are and what Reality is. And that never changed and can't change. There can only be "confusing-arisings" in it, clouding the understanding and realization of what you are. But when you can touch/understand the always eternally here Reality, everything changing and appearing seems more like a magic show, an illusion, just appearing, in that which you are that stays constant. Of course it is all nondual and essentially the same, but the appearance side is TEMPORARY/CHANGING/FLOW/ILLUSION, while the Real You/Fully Empty Subject/Abyss never changes. Because it is NOTHINGNESS, nothing specific at all, unchanging, Reality itself, the Empty Abyss of the Eye that can't see itself. Because it couldn't change. It is the only "thing" than never can change. It is Reality itself, fully empty, but with the potential to manifest itself as any show possible and marvel at its temporary illusion show. Water by the River

Why do you think buddism deny the Absolute? Absolute nothingness, absolute void, cessation, dharmakaya is the classic buddist awakening.

Bro, you should've sayed this from the start. Now i understand what you're trying to say. But the truth is, there are states of consciouness where there is zero love and zero hate or fear, zero emotion of any kind, zero bliss, zero joy, zero peace, zero quality of any kind, zero empathy, zero passion, zero desire, zero care, zero worry, zero interest in the world, zero involvement, , zero concern, zero regard for life or death, zero sense of time, just total absorbtion into nothingness. And ramana was quite famous of his absorbtions into this state. A being who abides in this state need not necessarily be full of passion and compassion to save the world. That's what bodhisatvas do. Some just dissolve into void and vanish without any care about others lol. Ramana just happened to have some compassion as well. So... im not sure where im going with this myself now.

Medicine: 150 ug 1P-LSD Intention: Contemplate How am I God, Infinite, Love? And retain more insights after the trip. Background Before this trip I had a very difficult experience with 4-AcO-DMT, so I decided to take some time to understand what I was going through and integrate better integrate the previous trips. I dedicated myself as well to read some books from Stanislav Grof and James Fadiman to understand more about LSD and other well known psychedelics as well as some other books from Leo's book list about God and spirituality. I also worked on improving my Kriya Yoga techniques and have been observing my micro fears and contemplating how these fears are related to myself. Finally, I contacted a psychotherapist which helped me during some earlier hard phases of my life, because I started to get anxious with the psychedelic trips and some personal stuff started to come during the trips, which I was not being able to integrate alone. The Trip Made all the preparations and took the LSD around 8:00 am, after that I made Kriya Yoga, I managed to get to 30 minutes but I started to feel the effects of the medicine and started to feel a little dizzy. I find interesting that the peaceful and after glow of Kriya some how merged with the effect of the LSD. I also made some Hatha Yoga because the LSD gets me some muscle soreness, and I have realized that Hatha Yoga helps me relax the body and allows the energy to flow better. I then laid down as the effects of the medicine were getting stronger, and started to ask me how am I God? I also started to become aware of the rapid movements of my ego mind and I managed to calm it down. And the I had this very deep insight about Nothingness, it was a very profound insight but I will try my best to describe it. I realized all the limitations that make me believe that I am a person, and realized that I had to overcome them in order to become God. As I realized this I had this vision of my body being fully surrounded by white energy and how all the limitations simply disappeared. And then I became Nothingness, I don't really know how long I stayed in this state as time had no meaning there. It was like if I was in the Void, there was no difference, it was Absolute Nothingness. Later I went to see how many time had passed since I first laid down and I spent at least two hours there. And suddenly I see how I decide to go back to the form and create myself as a tough and as this happens I have this vision that the Nothingness merges again with the white energy of Love like a multidimensional living Yin Yang and it creates a strange loop and I become this strange loop. As I realize the insight I sit there completely shocked and I see how my mind tries to wrap around and make an idea of it which is impossible. I tried to write about the experience and it came to my mind that is impossible to describe Infinity with something finite as words. Nevertheless there are some moments of great inspiration I feel during the trips, here is something I wrote down and I wanted to share: "It is as if God could talk me through music, thoughts, light, in all the many dimensions of the Self and It manages to do it so overwhelmingly good that It leaves me breathless". I became a little agitated because of the magnitude of this insight, so I started to walk around in the apartment and later made some more Hatha Yoga. It felt as if I was a puppet being shown how to make the Yoga positions. I wanted to lay down again and I realized that my ego-self didn't wanted me to do it and became agitated. I realized that I was also contracting my body and opened-up and started to make bilateral symmetrical movements and I managed to calm down. I am really amazed how easy is this technique and yet how helpful it is in such cases. I managed to calm down and relax, I wore some earplugs and tried to be as still as I could. I had one of this Samadhi experiences I have been having with the psychedelic trips. As I relaxed the mind, the limits of my body cease to exist and I literally feel I have no limits, during that moment also experience a lot of Love and it feels as I would elevate and leave my body. I guess that this is the sort of experiences that yogis get after many years of practice. There was also a moment when I felt I could remember who I truly am, not as my ego-self but as the higher Self. I could feel I was Infinite, Infinite Love, Eternal. It was just Awesome! I also realized that there is no such thing as a reference point and that everything is relative, except for the Absolute. As I got this realization I started to feel disoriented and fearful, my body wanted to close again but I managed to remain open, make some bilateral movements, so I could accept the insight and continue tripping. There was also a moment when I was at the kitchen and started looking at a mango, I became fascinated with its different colors and textures and at some point I realized that by concentrating myself on the mango I became the mango haha, I just don't know how to put this in words but it felt like that. At the end of the trip I started listening some music, something I have learned to enjoy specially when I do LSD, and there were some moments that I feel I become the musician playing the instrument and the music. I then went for a walk in to the forest, I felt drawn into the nature, part of me wanted to see the and be part of nature, so I spent a couple of hours walking and flowing with the constant changes of the wind, captivated by the fractal forms of some plants and the beauty of nature, looking the awesome colors of the leaves now that the fall begins here in Europe. Conclusions I felt I had a much more organic trip, as in my previous trips I could not remain so conscious of all the insights I got. I see that working on my fears have helped me go deeper during the trips. There where some moments where I felt I was drawing towards madness, but I saw that the only way I could get over my fears is to face them and that it is a long and slow process. I was reluctant and skeptic to contact the psychotherapist but working on some more personal stuff that has came up during the some previous experiences also allowed me to go deeper during this trip. But then again, it is a therapist that I have known for years, which could accept the idea of me working with psychedelics (even though she may not recommend it or like them) and someone I can also trust. Bilateral symmetry and remaining open is a great technique to avoid getting into anxious during the trip, at least it works for me and I cannot recommend it enough. Something I don't like about 1P-LSD is the muscle soreness and body load it generates, but I could counteract some of it by doing Hatha Yoga, something that may be manageable at least in lower to moderate doses where it is still possible to move around. When I started working with psychedelics at the beginning of the year I was afraid I would not be able to this with my girlfriend around and that it may even cause is trouble, but to my surprise it has been the complete opposite. I have learned to understand her better and to get closer in our relationship. Thanks a lot for reading this and for your comments! Thanks to the great community of Actualized.org and to Leo for his great teachings!

Some possible answers 11. Anything that causes contraction as oppose to total surrender and allowence. (Fear, hate, selfishness, judgement etc) 12. Love has no opposite, Love is the only reality, everything else is a false misinterpretation of reality 13. Nothingness. Void, primordial silence.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #4 - Sat Apr 22 '23 - 8:52 AM Lower self: Hello.. How are you today? Higher self: Good.. How are you? Lower self: I'm doing alright.. Higher self: What are you thinking thats true today? Lower self: I think that emotions are true. Emotions are sensations that course through my own body. And each emotion has a distinct flavor to it. For example, when I am angry, my breathing gets shallow and I can feel tightness in my chest. When I am feeling content, I feel very light but almost heavy at the same time, in which I don't feel like getting up or moving a muscle. When I am feeling eager or 'icy' I have thoughts racing through my head of me doing cool things. Each emotion is a distinct thing. Higher self: Okay.. I don't recall ever establishing that this body that you are referring to is your own. Lower self: This body is my own. I control it. I experience the emotions that course through this body, Ben's body. Higher self: Okay.. You experience the emotions that course through that body.. Lower self: Yeah 'I' do. I experience the anger, I experience the pain, I experience the contentment, I experience the embarrassment. Higher self: You do you say.. and what is you? Lower self: I... I am... the body? The mind? Nothingness? Higher self: Nothingness? Where did you get that one from? Lower self: I heard it from somewhere. Higher self: What do you think it means? What would be the direct experience of nothingness? Lower self: A direct experience of nothingness.. I would bet that the thoughts in my head would need to cease, then I could experience nothingness. Higher self: Meditation would help with this. Lower self: I agree. Lower self: Ooooooh.. I've got a good one.. I exist. Higher self: You exist, huh? What is existence? Lower self: Existence.. damn that is a hard one. Higher self: Thats what she said Lower self: *Smiles reluctantly* Dude.. You're supposed to be the mature one. Higher self: I couldn't help myself. *Straightens up* Please continue. Lower self: Existence is... I don't know... Its just when something is there, it is just there.. If it wasn't there then it would not exist, and it would just be empty air. Although empty air still needs to exist. Everything exists.. Everything is existence. Higher self: Is anything not existence? Lower self: Well, anything that is not existence does not exist and therefore I would have no awareness of it, so no I can't name anything that doesn't exist because if I possibly could name it, then that means that it would exist. Higher self: Very good. Lower self: Yeah, thanks.. But I feel like I didn't get anywhere. Higher self: When something dies, does it no longer exist? Lower self: Yeah, I think so. I mean the body remains on the earth, but the consciousness part of the body no longer exists, but then again I am just assuming this because I've never died. But what I do know is that when my Grandma died a few months ago, I can no longer go visit her and talk to her. This body that I would call Grandma is now not responsive, therefore I guess it doesn't exist, or again to put it more accurately since the body is still there, the consciousness of the body ceases to exist upon death.. Yeah thats what I'm going to go with. Higher self: Okay.. The consciousness of a body ceases to exist upon death.. Lower self: Yeah.. *Looks at higher self for validation* Higher self: And what is consciousness? Can you explain this to me? Lower self: Ughhhhh... I was hoping that you wouldn't ask me that. I just heard Leo saying that everything is consciousness, I've also heard of Jed McKenna's theory of everything which is what he calls 'C-Rex' which means consciousness is king, or.. Higher self: Yes... But you need to come up with your own defini... Lower self: I know, I know... Just give me a second. *Long pause* Lower self: I think that consciousness is... well... I don't know.. Can we start off with a definition from Wikipedia or something? Higher self: *Smiles* Sure, one sec... Okay, this is from the Google dictionary: "Consciousness is the state of being awake and aware of one's surroundings." Lower self: Okay, well this definition contradicts what Jed and Leo are saying.. It says that only sentient beings are conscious. For example, a rock is not awake and aware of its own surroundings. Higher self: How do you know that a rock is not aware of its own surroundings? Lower self: Because... Because of science! We know that rocks are not conscious, same with grass and dirt and my Knicks hat... Not conscious! Higher self: Isn't it true that, according to science, the stalks of a plant will grow towards the sun's rays because it will help it photosynthesize and survive? Lower self: Well yeah, but those are plants, plants are living things, they just don't have a brain or lungs or a heart.. So yeah I guess plants are conscious, even according to the Google dic. But a rock cannot possibly be aware of its own surroundings.. Its just a stupid rock. Higher self: Woah.. That rock could be someone's daughter.. Lower self: No it couldn't! They don't reproduce! Higher self: Don't they? Where did they come from? Lower self: Rocks? I don't fucking know! Higher self: Well then try to come up with an answer... What... did they just appear out of thin air? Lower self: Sure.. Yeah lets just go with that so that I can get on with my day... Higher self: *Looks at lower self sternly* You know you're not done yet. Lower self: *Sighs* Rocks... Where did they come from... Well according to science... Higher self: Yeah lets start with that.. because science has all the answers.. Lower self: Okay, you know what? I do have a theory for who the father of rocks are, and it is God. God essentially created rocks, as well as all of the other things on this Earth and in this solar system, and in the entire universe. He created everything, thats what I believe. He created existence! Higher self: You don't think there was existence before God? Lower self: How could there be? God created the world, or the universe, so if he created the universe, then it did not exist before him. Higher self: Yes, but who created God... God does exist, doesn't he? Lower self: Yeah he does... Um.... Well ... Can't he just be, like, all encompassing... Higher self: All encompassing? I'm not sure what that means. Lower self: Yeah me neither... Well maybe this time thing that we think of as true, in which the universe must have began with a big bang.. Maybe the idea of time isn't real and there isn't this linear path in which we need to trace the origins of the universe back to anything. It would be as though time is just an infinite and endless loop. There is no start to it and no end. We humans have come up with this start-and-end-cycle theory because we die.. We as human beings are born and then we die. But maybe the universe doesn't play by those rules. And if the universe is infinite, then there would be no start or end, it just goes on forever and ever. Higher self: Hmmm... Thats an interesting theory that you've got there. Lower self: Yeah.. and it makes way more sense than that big bang bullshit. Look at that, I've outsmarted the scientists. And also... You know how the symbol for infinity is a sideways "8" ... its an infinite, closed loop, there is no start or end to it. Higher self: Alright, I think thats enough for today. Lower self: Yeah.. I'll see you tomorrow!

This is cool I think the eye has some representation of the universe the pupil being the I The Iris being the universe The limbal ring being God or the edge of the universe and the Screla the white part being the white light or white hole of god or maybe heaven When our pupils are dilated we become more spiritual or closer to nothingness and spirit Like if we stare directly into anothers eyes we are staring into the nothingness of ourselves and there can be great fear or love come from that depending on who or how long. Many different types of emotions can be taken by gazing into another Self.

Yes. I thought for a long time that the Absolute is maybe somehow "behind" space, or being bigger than the Visual Field (that was already at least sometimes nondual at that point in time). Or that it encompasses the visual field. At some points, it dawns on oneself that all of these "probings", attempts, investigations.... are just more arisings happening within you. And the space is imagined IN YOU. If you try to looke for this line, drawing this line, imagining this line, you imagine it WITHIN the space you imagine. It all appears or is being imagined. You will never find the Absolute in any object, any arising, any location. Any self, any appearance, any anything. But this process of "emptying out" everything, to fully BECOME it, to see each an any arising (thought, appearance, understanding, whatever,n+1) as arising in YOU, you have to become fully empty. Nothingness. But yet, that process has to be walked earnestly to the final end, and can not be shortcut. Also because the Absolute is also infinite, IN-FINITE. Nothing you can measure, find, define. Nothing finite. No arising/appearance, however subtle. Even formless arisings (thoughts, formless subtle level lightshow, whatever), are not it. Because IT is timeless. Always there. Formless arisings also come and go. Nice book on that topic: Szyper, Infinite Consciousness. And then, when You are fully empty, you can be fully everyting, nondual. A more concise formulation, and much more beautiful than my ramblings above: “We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all.” ― Kalu Rinpoche Perfect. If the thinking can solve all open existential questions, you can rest in the Suchness that you are. Nonmeditation-Yoga. You cut off all separate self arisings in real time (since you are proficient enough in that "cutting off" immediately when these "thought-capsules" arise out of consciousness. They havent even been elaborated out, that comes later. Funny thing is, at some point you notice they emerge with the full content of the thought already "in there", and that gets elaborated later and more slowly. The Skill of Reckognition in Daniel Browns "Pointing Out the Great Way". Getting that high-speed cut-off in place triggered for me the step from just cutting thoughts/separate self arisings, aka emptying the mindstream while the "external" world is still solid & out there, to the visual field getting nondual, centerless, luminous mere appearance. So that transforms the Visual Field slowly to mere groundless appearances. You feeling localized ends, the localization dissolves. My theory for that (but I have no proof), is that the Endohuasca-System of the body gets activiated. To cut off efficiently all "Great Doubts/Questions", as I termed them for myself, like the questions above on the nature of space/time/separate self, you need to understand the answer and "how it works". Or you push through with Koan-Meditation concentration-style. That also works, but I feel very sure that this would have taken me 5-10 times longer, and would have been much much (!) more unpleasant. How to "finish" time Mahamudra/Pointing Out the Great Way Style, and end up at the so called "Always Here Mind", the eternal or rather timeless Infinite Consciousness, thats another topic. If you are interested let me know. That is described for example in the Yoga of Unelaboration Chapter of Pointing Out the Great Way. Assumption/Theory: Meditation-induced and body-produced Endohuasca (DMT, 5-MeO, ....): What I assume is that a certain level of proficiency of cutting/transcending of the "harder/deeper" searate self arisings, and the "hard/deeper" existential questions (like space/time/....), or transcending and letting them just play out, but being aware of them as objects, being able to cut them anytime, see their arisings out of consciousness, their flow with in, and their disappearance, triggers probably some kind of Endohuasca-System, your body producing similiar chemicals (DMT,5-MeO, MAO-Inhibitors....) that you can also trip with when supplying them externally. To trigger that means staying in full mindfulness for a long time, having taken the meditation off the pillow and not getting distracted. The effects are very similiar to Psychedelics (nonduality, luminous mere appearance, groundlessness of all appearance, Infinity, timelessness, even shutting off the separate self/Ego (although not completely mostly. Some quite subtle feeling/filters/lenses of perceptions of Individuality (sth watching sth.) often remain): https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ and that gives you the multiple hundreds/maybe thousands of hours that one needs in the "nondual timless infinite mere appearance visual field state" to get aware of every last subtle separate self arising. But that can be done in everyday life, at least while not being distracted too much. Of course, getting previews by psychedelics to confirm that there is something to be reached, to get to know the Nondual Infinite Field of mere appearance, maybe even visiting the causal Whiteout-Godhead of Infinite Potential: Awesome. But probably will not suffice in most cases to get one "on the other side". Then, finally, at the very end, the separate self is just a very very subtle feeling of individuality. Body, Location, Duality, time, all have gone a long time ago. Its just an Infinity of groundless mere appearance visual field showing up, limitless, already nondual(!) and luminous/mere appearing. And "a" nothing that is only aware of that. Like nearly nothing at all. Very very subtle and murky. Roger Thisdells No-Self, stage 4. And then you are ready for the Big Bang, that then can happen all by itself. Sudden Awakening. One can not force it. Crossing over happens by itself, resting long enough in that state, and letting it ripen. If one wants to do that only by tripping... well, I never read from or about one case where Full Enlightenment/Realization actually worked. But maybe there are cases. It takes too much time to get rid of the last subtle veils of the separate self, and by tripping you can also be distracted by the show/understanding/whatever. It always reads like some separate-self elements still well and alive and not transcended, no fully empty "No-Self" having looked totally in to the Abyss of Nothingness,but having had the hell of an infinite nondual mere appearance experience of a (for sure) very interesting visual field bubble or God or Alien or I don't know what. Plenty of stuff in the Multiverse to explore and understand, especially considering that it goes upwards the Holon-Pyramid forever (Planet-Monad creating/maintaining all perspectives on it, Galaxy-Monad, Universe-Monad, Multiverse-Monad, n+1). And plenty of stuff of the properties of God to project on the remains of the separate self... You are very welcome. I believe there are two elements installed in the universe, in order to not give Maya every advantage (she already has enough): 1.The radiating bliss/love of the Realized Being. 2. Any separate self teaching "down from up high" with any "superiority-raditation", marveling at its own ingeniuty/superiority is normally just keeping the illusion going, because: If you are all, how can you be superior to anything? Compassion and humility, and helping "others" look around the next corner of their own path, is indicated. Not sustaining the illusion with "I see the Matrix", and its "Saul Goodman". Sorry And luckily, that attitude isn't very sexy for the fellow seekers, see point 2. above. On the other side, how are realized Dzogchen-Realizers depicted in Tibetan Buddhism: Radiating great humor. Why? Nothing "other" holy anywhere.... at least nothing where making jokes is forbidden. But not a condencending/superiority humor that has fallen in love with itself. Because what is there that a "you" could be "superior" to? Superior to another aspect of Your Own Being? Easy way to cut reality in two or create duality, so a rather not so smart idea.... To tell the difference between these two kinds of humors, the hard-wirings of humans are usually quite well calibrated. Selling Water by the River

Hi Mike, I am not sure if I fully get your questions. If my answer below is not on topic, please excuse, and let me know. Below are some ramblings on the topic of space, and how it developed for me going from "self-existing-reality-aspect" to "imagined in Reality/Infinite Consciousness". which was one of the deciding steps boosting nonduality/mere groundless appearance in everyday life, making the constant intuiting of fundamental Nothingness/Reality much more proficient. At least for me, space itself was one of the last things to go from "self-existing" to imagined. "Time" as concept goes before, and is replaced by the Always Here Mind/Reality. Space is one of the first "Archetypes" necessary for manifestation in this dimension, and one of the last things to be seen through. Space is not fundamental (or self-existing), it is also imagined. Space (any kind, 3D, 4D, non-euclidian, whatever. Infinite amounts of different space-dimensions in Mathematics) is not any kind of Absolute Reality. It took me a long time to get this, thinking along quite similiar lines of thought as these you write above. Space is normally seen as such a fundamental that (at least for me) didn't even considering questioning that, or rather wondered how space "fits into the picture" of Ultimate Reality,which has cost me quite some time. The perspectives of Consciousness/Reality of the Leavitt picture (hyperbolic Euclidian Space of Visual Fields Bubbles, see previous posts) are not situated in any kind of space. The "Absolute or Nothingness/Primary Consciousness/Reality unaware of itself when no arising is imagined" is more fundamental than space. It is fundamentally totally spaceless. Space is imagined in it. As one of the first arisings. If there is nothing, there is no kind of space. Just Infinite Potential. See the Massaros Waterpistol example (Conversations with a Skeptic) I wrote about in previous posts. With space, I mean any kind of space, 3D, non-Euclidian, n+1 dimensions. Also, Indras Net is not situated in space. Leavitts Picture is a version of Indras Net. Both taken together are a nice working model. An Infinity of perspectives are imagined, and all but your own perspective forgotten in space. Psychedelics can loosen that quite a lot, you get access to more than "your" perspective of this life. But One Absolute Consciousness/Reality is aware of them all (since there can not be anything else than THAT, which is also a direct realization), and "that" also happens to be the stuff/material of all appearances, totally nondual. Perceptions perceiving themselves. And with no appearance/arising, this Reality is unware of itself, but with the potential for sentience. To make it more practical: If you have ever remained aware while going from Dream Sleep to waking state (or the other way round): There is a spaceless state in between, with NOTHING arising. Infinite. No Space. "vast", but not even vast. Just infinite. It is not 3D-Space. Just Nothing. No separate small you. Only Infinite Potential. Similiar to Deep Sleep (blackout), but like an infinite Nothingness/darkness suffused with light, timeless since there is no movement, just nothing. Your perspective is not situated in space then. Space gets imagined in the dream, and in "waking-life", so "before" or "after" THAT (and to be more precise, since there is no time/change in it, it all gets imagined IN IT). And of course, waking life is also a dream, just more coherent, happening in IT/You/Reality. With enough meditation/practice awareness can carry into these states, and instead of the usual Deep Sleep Blackout it can become something as described above, which of course makes the structure of reality more clear. Maya-Deep-Sleep-Blackout replaced by something more revealing (Infinite Darkness suffused with light, and not just a blackout). And I know, all of that is imagind right now, but these states still can occur. And its quite beneficial for understanding to experience them. All this logical reasoning can't get you to the big Awakening into what You really are. But a coherent explanation can help calm the thinking-mind during meditation (on or off the pillow), especially when its no longer only concentrative meditation, but meditation without concentration-support-object, and make it "compatible" for the Realization. And can help you boost your nondual/mere appearance visual field during that. With that goal, I write these lines. Not to logically get you to a conclusion/reasoning that you are IT, but to open the door to be available for that Realization in certain fully nondual states when you are fully empty of separate self arisings, and all perceptions appear as mere appearance. But I agree that the Zen-guys are way smarter than me: They would just mainly stay shut up, smile at you and make you meditate (boost nondual states), and say something like "go looking for the face before your parents were born". Which is actually the same thing I try to point to above. It is up for the reader if these ramblings of mine are of any worth. The Realization is a direct insight/understanding, Consciousness/Reality understanding itself, since there is nothing else. It is not "I always come to this conclusion, that is why I can rule out the rest, so that must be it". That is all nice and good (and necessary), some of the preliminary Awakenings/Enlightenments coming before the Big Bang, necessary to a certain degree and profiency to make the Mindstream "compatible" for the Big Bang. It is more like something undeniable, like a punch in the face. It is an unmistaken insight into what the True You/Reality are, no doubt/error possible. Self evident. Dead-certain (literally). The possibility that one can be gaslit on that Realization is something like a joke occuring in You/Reality. Or, as said in Zen: You can smile the devil in the face, and not be shaken in your certainty of What You are. Or: Who knows the spring does not drink from the cup. If "you" still can doubt it, it is not It. The more compatible your mindstream is with the Enlightened Mind (meaning no possible concept not seen through as thought arisings-in you, the last to go after space is "individuality" of a separate anything), the higher the chance for the Big Bang described above. Small "you" can't force it, but create circumstances where IT can happen (That is a large chunk of the essence of Nonmeditation-Yoga in Mahamudra). You become the whole Infinite "Thing" afterwards, with nobody watching "It". Perceptions perceiving themselves, Steven Norquist style. See my last post if you are so inclined. And yes, that haunted emptiness is the price to pay. But it just happens to look like there is a "real" price to pay, looking like that from before that Gateless Gate. Having gone through it, there never was a price to pay. To the opposite, you win It all. Everything. Everything there could ever be. What you "loose" is just the grip of the separate thinking/feeling arisings of the separate-self-Gestalt, which was nothing more than a a pattern of illusion-arisings (technically (and beware, reductionism ahead): patterns of phenomena-arisings of a separate self=structure=probability distribution of arising, a process of arisings with a certain systematic to it). Arising in you, but not self-existing: You can happily exist without it. What remains is Reality itself, and a person that isn't less functional than before, but more so (because you are not standing in the way of the optimal rollout of Consciousness/Reality). Short form: "I am not a human, I have a human". To fully get it, you need to awaken to it. Or said differently: If you would fully understand all of the above, you would be realized. On how long its stays "haunted", and how much this haunted reaction lasts: I write more about that in my last post. Maybe that is interesting for you, and I hope I didn't miss the questions too much. If I would have known that back in the day, I would have been faster and could have avoided some time-consuming mistakes. That is why I write it, not to lecture anybody or proove any fixed ideas of mine. The Ego is in large parts a cluster of beliefs, which it has to defend life-or-death style, because for the Ego its exactly that (at least with important core-beliefs). Similiar to what the bear does in the video in the signature of the post. If its not useful for you, just disregard it. In case I rambled on, please excuse the deviation. Selling Water by the River PS: If anyone feels inclined to comment on the post, please check if the bear-move in the link below (signature of the post) is being performed or not, and preferably the Blackeyes Peas and "Where is the love" (or something similiar) is being played in your emotional continuum. Then, any questions, comments, and suggestions are even more welcome than when the song is not playing. PSPS: "If God as you say are exploring though us does that mean those two bodies in that conversation is not looking at each other but that God is imagining and holding both of them within itself? And all these ideas of eyes and perception that aren’t actually in my direct experience are the ways I’ve been taking a false ownership of what’s really God’s experience of the other body as something belonging to my body?" Yes, pretty much like that. Various aspects: 1) Leavitts Non-Euclidian perspectives style, and most perspectives forgotten + 2) Indras Net that any perspective reflects all others + 3) aspect that for example even an atom or molecule has some kind of proto-perspective, reacting on similiarly leveled perspectives (=Holons in Ken Wilbers system, and similiar leveled = other molecules). And Holons/Perspectives all the way down (to infinity, quarks, ....) and all the way up (to infinity, like Galaxy-governing-monads, Universe-governing-monads, Multiverse-creating/sustaining/governing monads, and infinitely higher up n+1, and also completely "OTHER" realms, unimaginable to human mind with space/time/.... For that, see Jac O'Keeffe). And then one could start wondering of how much of that one can have explored/understood of all that manifested stuff in one single human lifetime. Next to Nothing. Infinitesimal so to say, if one is mathematically-prone. So maybe instead one fully realize ones essence and structure of Ultimate Reality/True You as Infinite/Nondual/Absolute Reality/Infinite Consciousness, and LIVE THAT as much as possible? With the bliss it brings? Not to talk about the "hang-over" of the (imagined of course) good Karma/tendencies that brings for ones next imagined manifestation (only if one is inclined to believe in that, which is of course not absolutely real, but part of the imagined show). But that would still be nice for the big show that "we" are all celebrating here So basically, with that model above, you don't need space as self-existing reality. Any maybe consider replacing the God word with some bundle like "Infinite Consciousness/Reality/God/True You". Just to not project/make God some self-existing external reality outside of you. Ultimate Reality is nondual, Infinite Consciousness Nothingness perceiving its own manifestations, perceptions perceiving themselves without separate self elements "clouding" the true state of things. God is not somewhere outside. God is right here. What imagines all of that? Biggest possible accident: Projecting/Confusing the Individuality-Arisings of the Separate-Self-Gestalt on God/Reality/Infinite. That is the worst possible seductive kiss from Maya imaginable. Yet, quite a show....

Steven Norquists descriptions are spot on. But the reactions of "Hauntedness/scary/nothing there/groundless" are ... more arising of the breaking-apart (or rather transcending) of personality/Ego/separate self dynamics at the face of the Abyss/Nothingness. You get used to that after some time. Not the small you, but the big You. The small you at some point just travels through You/Reality like the wind, like any other arising. Not anymore a separate self, but a part, something of the big You/Reality, still functioning, but not separate. Which then after some getting used to, is not scary, but becomes lovely. Norquist also said that he (and anybody other realizing that) wouldn't trade that realization and the ensuing states for anything else. The True You is all of Reality, so nothing more falls away than certain separate self illusion arisings in You/Reality. So nothing really essential falls away. Just some kind of mistaken Identity/Illusion. That caused a lot(!) of suffering in the first place. You are infinitely more than these separate-self arisings. But that realization is "protected" by those scary scary arisings (Haunted, No Person there, Green Mile,...). Courtesy of and best regards from Maya herself. How much its scary... ...depends also on the speed how fast you get dropped into that Abyss of the Real No-Self. If its fast, its probably more scary than on slowly dissolving over time. Then its more like a mild scary fear, like Francis Lucilles Enlightenment: https://francislucille.com/2019/01/spiritual-awakening/ Steven Norquists progress was rather fast, see his bio. There is a video-lecture of him, where he tells his story. The gateless gate can seem scary from the opening entry. Something like: First time? Hope my taste of humor is not misunderstood.... . In case it is, please recheck for relaxation the last video with the smoking stuff I posted. Selling Water by the River Norquist: "99.999% of the spiritual books and teachers out there are completely wrong. They are wrong for one simple reason, they are not enlightened, they don’t know what’s going on. So in order to keep the illusion of personality, of the idea that there is something or someone, they invent stories, or theories, or ideas, wear special clothes, perform certain rituals and so on. They teach this stuff. But the truth is so simple, it is laughable. Now let me make a clear distinction on one point, mystical experience is not enlightenment. You may have mystical experience, see God, get abducted by aliens, receive messages from an angel, contact your spirit guides, the list could go on. But always and forever, no matter what is going on the truth is, every experience, mystical or ordinary is a happening of Universe/Consciousness." 99.999% is probably a bit much, but a scarily large part teaches something like nonduality/God-whatever/Infinity with certain aspects/filters/lense of certrain remaining separate self elements still well and alive, and identifying with that. Maya is a High Performer . Nearly 100% success rate. And she can also handle the candidates on the finishing line also quite well...

I made a list of questions to answer such as: “What is God?”, “Why God is?”, “Where did it come from?” etc. Previous time I did 4.5 grams of Enigma Mushrooms and I had rather a bad trip. This time I decided to go for 3.0 grams. I made a mushroom tea and took it with me outside. After drinking the tea, I sat on a stone near the beach and started going trough my questions. As I was doing that fear begun arising in me. I was afraid to get the same bad experience as the last time. I tried to concentrate on the questions but the fear was too strong. Also, my boundaries were dissolving again and it freaked the shit out of me. I told myself “Fuck this questions and fuck psychedelics” so I stood up, put my earbuds in and decided to walk until the end of the trip. As I was walking and looking around, I was seeing myself again. Everything was my mind, God’s mind. With this came realization that there is nothing in existence but my mind. Another wave of fear crushed on me. I was afraid that I would wake up forever and would never come back to the life. I couldn’t accept this idea so instead I tried resisting the experience. I was trying to convince myself that I’m not God, but of course it was in vain. In the back of my mind, I knew that whether I like it or not I am God and there’s nothing I could do about it. It’s an absolute fact and it will remain like this forever. So, there I was walking around trying to resist it. I was looking at my watch but it stopped. I knew that I’m imagining time. I asked myself “Now what? What am I gonna do?!”. I was like “Okay, fuck it, I’m just gonna Be for eternity and that’s perfectly fine”. I completely accepted my nature. With this fear begun dissolving. I started contemplating my questions. The first one was “Where did I come from?”. Of course, I’ve always been. Always means eternity and therefore it excludes any beginning or end. I also became conscious that I’m the only thing in existence, there can’t be any other gods or entities whatsoever. I’m the Source and I’m the Creator. I’m shining and everything is the reflection of it. I looked at my hands and as I was looking, I realized that I’m these hands and the body but paradoxically I’m not my body. My real body is nothing, it’s pure magical nothingness. Suddenly an interesting thought came to my mind “What if I can consciously go as deep as I want?”. Guess what? Of course, yes! Because I’m God! I started expanding my consciousness by will. I transcended all my memories and the past. I realized that nothing ever happened to me, all of it was just a dream that I made. All pain I’ve gone trough was illusion. All suffering that I saw all the wars, murders, rapes are just illusion. What is not illusion? Love. Love is the Truth. Infinite and pure God’s love is truth. God is just simply magical being made out of pure infinite love. When I realized it I transcended all possible fear. I couldn’t think of anything that would scare me. I became conscious that nothing bad will ever happen, it’s the absolute fact. I went deeper into the Love. I was experiencing deep bliss, happiness, joy, peacefulness and beauty! Of course, no words can explain it and there’s nobody to explain it to! Haha! A few other important things that I discover: 1. There is a paradoxical difference between Me and My creation that is also Me. My creation doesn’t have God’s will power and is controlled by Me. 2. All spiritual teaching are corrupted. They may contain some truth, but corruption ruins it. I created all spiritual gurus and teaching in order to delude myself. 3. Psychedelics the only valid tool to awaken. Meditation, retreats, yoga, breathing techniques are fantasy and can’t be used for spiritual awaking. All of them are good for human life (to be more peaceful, to be capable of accepting stuff, to be in control of the emotions etc.). I know this absolutely because I’m God. P.S. I’ve been doing mushrooms for the last 4 years but I had never had such deep awakenings. The quality of my trips on mushrooms has been improved after experiencing with 5MeO-DMT. Now mushrooms are as strong as 5MeO but way longer. I need to try combining 5MeO and shrooms. From God for God

Ok let's say that i die and i return to infinite nothingness from which i came from. Will i be conscious of infinite nothingess? It sounds like non-existence but you said non-existence is just a concept which exists...