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My family has a history of mental health - including bipolar disorder, depression, and suicide. I have all of these symptoms and have been able to control myself mentally during psychedelic trips. You have to be very conscious of how psychedelics are affecting you mentally and if it appears to not be improving, take a break and move on to another psychedelic at a small dose. You just have to be very selective and mentally prepared. Take small doses, scale up safely, and ensure you are mentally comfortable and of course, not taking medication with certain psychedelics.

You are after the mechanism You don't know what you're asking. You could write a 1000-page paper if you wanted to describe each individual biochem pathway, all the primary, secondary and tertiary messenger molecules that are being activated, all those heat shock proteins, silencing of genes, mTor, AMPK, AKT pathways. You'd die of boredom before making it to page 2, I've tried going down that rabbit hole and it is impossible to understand without an advanced degree in cellular biology Let me try to answer this from another perspective If you look at the human body from the perspective of chronic disease-related mortality, you are basically looking at a cluster of 6 health conditions. 8/10 people in the world will die as a consequence of one of these (in developed countries) Cardiovascular disease (atherosclerosis of the circulatory system + diseases of the heart muscle) Cancer (any cancer that has a potential to become malignant and kill the host) Neurodegenerative disease (dementia, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Lewy -body's dementian etc) Metabolic Disease (Type II diabetes, metabolic syndrome - closely linked to CVD ) Skeletal disease (osteoporosis and mortality related to fractures and subsequent immobiliusation) Suicide where does exrcise come in Exercise reduces the odds of all of these. It slows down the progression (through a gazillion of metabolic pathways), it delays first onset and it protects the body from symptoms and signs . CVD - Exercise reduces the progress of atherosclerosis, reduces deposition of ApoB containig lipoproteins in tunic intima and formaiton of deposit inside the artery. Exercise activates acascade of processes that lead to tissue remodelling, improved vascular flow , improved NO2 production and reduced production of immuno-mediated molecules that can damage the endothelium. Cancer - exercise stimulates immune function, production of T-cells, NK cells and macrophages and so the body is more vigilant and more likely to catch cancer before it spreads. There are millions other ways exercise reduces cancer risk. I'm very uneducated in this part of the anatomy Neurodegenerative disease - exercise has a massive effect on reducing neuroinflammation, it slows down formation of beta amyloid and the destruction of neuronal tissue. It stimulates microglia activation and protects the central nervous system from damage by radical oxidative species, degeneration and loss of function. The exact mechanism is probably as complicated as the body itself. Metabolic disease - exercise improves insulin sensitivity, improves blood sugar control (long term and short term) , stimulates muscle hypertrophy which is an important factor in preventing diabetes, it helps open up alternative cellular pathways for glucose absorption - look up GLUT-4 transporter for glucose entry to the cell, exercise reduces the density of intramuscular fat and helps with fat loss - diabetes, in general, is an energy status disease that starts when the body carries more fat than it can handle. Basically exercise reduces the risk and the odds and the progression of Type II diabetes, a major cause of amputations, blindness, kidney disease and infections. Skeletal disease - one of the major leaders in premature mortality is an osteoporosis-related fracture. After the age of 65, about 20% of people who break a hip due to osteoporosis, die in the hospital. And about 1/3 of the remainder die within next 12 months as a consequence of that injury. The rest will have a degree of permanent disability and are more likely to die from heart disease because they stop moving. About 2% will be able to reverse it and get their life quality back. Exercise strenghtens bone, reverses bone loss and helps remineralise the bone by forcing deposition of calcium back inside which protects from this and as such extends lifespan. Exercise basically prolongs the lift of people diagnosed with osteoporosis. This has been shown even in postmenopausal women which is the age and gender group most likely to suffer from hip fracture and disability as a result of that. The mental health is a bit tricky but exercise has been shown to reduce the onset of depression, anxiety and has indirectly probably prevented lot of people from committing suicide who otherwise would have taken their own life. The mechanism is probably stimulation of neuroplasticity, hypertrophy of prefrontal cortex and hipocampus and slowing down hypertrophy of amygdala (common finding in people who comit suicide is an increased size of amygdala - postmortem) There are research papers addressing every single pathway and you would find evidence for everything I just told you. And that's just the biology not to mention being active increases your odds of talking to people, making friends, finding a mate, feeling better and more hopeful about your life. Exercise is also a mindfulness activity that grounds you, helps you take your mind off things that trouble you. etc etc # Men who exercise have higher testosterone which makes them more social, more outgoing, more adventurous, more sexual especially in older age, more confident with women, bolder when making difficult decisions in life and SIGNIFICANTLY less likely to become depressed and commit suicide. It strengthens discipline, resilience, and patience and teaches a person to be committed to something. For many young people who feel lost in their life, it is a gateway to discovering their purpose and mission in life. Hopefully that satisfies that curiosity

You can also indirectly kill people with your words and worldview. Think of all the LGBT folks who have died by suicide due to their family essentially shitting on them. The same folks who would spit such vile crap are the same ones who will justify that psychedelics are terrible and should be banned.

There is no individual being. You are the whole. It just appears that way. So, you are in conflict with yourself not Mother Nature. You are still in separation consciousness, which is fine for experiencing and exploring parts of Infinity, not recognizing this, is where your conflicts are arising from. You are predicting cells' behavior, so apparently you believe in a divine intelligence which makes this possible; but you are not applying that to your own existence and denying yourself as the Source from which things appear. God doesn't love or hate you because God doesn't make those distinctions, the mind does. Since God is love, it doesn't know hate because hate is a duality the mind creates. God doesn't know suicide because it cannot kill itself because it is all there is. You are denying yourself as Source. The lack of love you feel from God is a direct reflection of the lack of love you are giving to yourself.

@Rishabh R @Sincerity Yea good points. I thought about it and nature has to be both selfish and not selfish at the same time to maintain the symbiotic relationship. For example all the cells in our bodies lives in symbiosis. If a cell becomes to selfish it becomes a cancer. If it is not selfish the cell doesn’t have will to survive. I’m still not convinced Mother Nature or god loves us. It loves the whole. And we as individual beings aren’t that important. That is why god won’t stop you if you want to commit suicide. It cares about the whole. Not about one part of reality which is the ego.

@TheCloud I talked with my mom. I just discovered that my father was even worse than I previously believed. First of all, when Mom and Dad had sex it was statutory rape. Furthermore, my father coerced me into committing multiple crimes including felonies. He threatened to disown me if I did not swear to secrecy as he committed several crimes to avoid paying child support. All I wanted was to be good, and I was emotionally manipulated into lying on behalf of my father. I still feel a lot of resentment toward myself. I logically understand that my dad is a horrible person, but I love him anyway. I am starting to sound mad at my dad though. My defense is that I was forced to figure out life for myself because I never trusted my family. I had no guidance but my own. My family was never a good example, but I wanted to be a good person anyway. I'm slowly starting to see how human I am as I loosen my unrealistically high expectations of myself. The function of me hating myself is to prevent me from doing anything wrong by creating a lot of suffering for myself. This is why I'm miserable. I just feel like such a victim and I desperately want to be in control of my life so I blame myself. I sometimes feel mad at God for being unfair. At the same time I really value the truth and being the best person I can be. I know its hard to love as God would, but that is what I want to do. I wrote about some of this in the spirituality section, and I don't seem to be ready for spirituality. The reason my mind is so inflexible is because my harsh self judgements are designed for my survival. I could not live with myself if I became like my family. I'm trying to open up to my family. Its going to be hell in the short term, but I have been suffering hell all my life. I have been trying everything to make the suffering stop. My family is completely oblivious to a lot of trauma. They seem to be partially open to me finally coming out of my shell and expressing myself. My relationships will always feel hollow if nobody knows who the hell I am. They act like they don't want me to bottle up my emotions until I stop bottling up my emotions. I swear to God I'm always doing the best I can, but I hurt so badly and I don't want to be a victim. The truth is that I feel completely depressed and defeated. I don't have any control over my life. Suicide gives me a sense of being in control. Hating myself also gives me a false sense of being in control. I have been lost in a meaningless existence for my entire life struggling to find purpose in anything. I have been walking around with suicidal thoughts for over a decade. Nobody knows a damn thing about me.

How does suicide fit into survival?

@Yimpa i know pouting dosent get you anywhere i was pouting in my room for 8 years. It would have led to my suicide had i not tried mushrooms. Being a victim makes you a victim.

I'm actually fucking sick of this. Done everything I know in the book so far. Meditation, learning forgiveness, mindfulness practices, letting go. I have constant flashes in my day to day about shit with my mother and violent arguments that transpired. It doesn't matter whether I'm in good spirits or having a really depressive episode - it always happens. I've watched almost every actualized video related to this predicament. I can understand things like letting go and that the past is a concept on an intellectual level. But I don't feel it. I can't FEEL. All I feel is VIOLENCE and SHIT day after day. If I'm truly this far gone then what else can be done? Are some people just lost causes? At this point in time I feel I can either check myself into the emergency room for the fucking fifth time for having a manic episode like this. Or if suicide isn't part of the equation I can just self-medicate on alcohol/drugs and become a zombie again. What am I doing wrong here? I keep telling myself just to stop thinking about it all. When that doesn't work I tell myself to let it in/just allow it. Neither seems to work. My default state is a fucked up loser who just physical juts and reacts as if the fights are happening for real over and over again.

Hello, after every interaction with attractive women I get frustrated to the max. In my opinion women are dumb, too emotional for proper communication and extremely arrogant, especially attractive ones. I think that our society is fucked because of social media. Attractive women get way too much validation from stupid needy men, so they don't even have to work on themselves. No one cares when they behave like assholes. But men have to bring so much to the table to stay attractive and this pisses me off. Until I was 19 I had nothing sexual going, no kisses, nothing. I rejected many girls because I wanted the first one to be "perfect". First girlfriend with 19 then was extremely toxic to me, she had borderline, bulimia etc. Long story, but I guess you can image how she behaved with the mentioned disorders. 14 months pure torture, I was way too needy because I thought she was perfect. But the only thing that was perfect was her looks. After that I was dating about 10 other women through tinder because I was too shy to approach women in real life. But this was just for fun, I didn't want a relationship. Then there was another attractive woman with borderline and she broke me again. And after that I was dating a woman who was relatively thick and I thought that it was impossible for me to be with someone like that in a relationship, but we matched really well and I was surprised. I wanted to start a relationship with her and she broke me as well. She had red flag written all over her like all the other women I have dated before. But I was naive, nobody told me what red flags are. She basically went into a relationship with a "friend" of her. Only my second and last girlfriend was able to communicate good. She wasn't doing too many shit tests and our relationship was easy-going as it should. Unfortunately I had to leave her because of some things that disturbed me, frequent weed smoking and other drug consumption. Plus I didn't find her attractive because of the way she behaved and her looks, I'd say she was a little too "masculine" for me. I just got into the relationship because she forced me into it and I thought why not. After six months I had to end it and we are still really good friends, feels like a brother and sister connection, nothing sexual, she even has a boyfriend who really loves her and I'm grateful that they have found each other. I've done many therapies, had three months of coaching for 3000€ and it went pretty well. I can finally approach women when I really want to. I've finally come to the conclusion that I am not the issue, that's what I always thought before. I feel like society is only getting worse as I mentioned above. Women did not have any rights in the past, now I feel that they have too much power, it's unbalanced. We went into the other extreme. I think it should be 50/50, but it isn't. And I'm not sure if this is going to balance out while I am still alive. That's why I have suicide thoughts way too often. I've never tried killing myself and I hope that I never will but if that does not change in the next few years, I'm not sure how I'm going to feel in the future. All this work, all this self improvement and pain, I really have made much progress the last few years, especially the last year but it hurts that it does not get recognized by women. Only by myself and my friends, you may think that this should be enough but for me it isn't. I know that there are really beautiful women out there with top tier character, but I feel like they are way too rare or most of them already in a relationship. At least in the cities I've lived in, in Germany. I just want to be more attractive to women so I can have some fun, go on dates and finally have a girlfriend that fits me. I'm eating well, I do sports, built some muscle, look good and I try to approach women here and there. But somehow I'm not attractive enough for them, I either get no response via chat or they annoy me because of too many shit tests and I know they wouldn't do as many tests if they were sure that I'd be good enough for them. So... enough crying, let me ask a goal oriented question: How can I accept this mean and unfair world? Or how can I change the way I think about the world? I'm missing positive experience with women. Sorry for this negative talk, but this is my mind and I have to live with it every day. I just want to be more of my higher self and connect more with women. Thanks for reading. Best regards, Lukas

Ye rapper ( i dont follow him that much, much more accurrate examples can be shared. Figure who is Mature and who isnt Logic's speech on MTV after performing 1-800-273-8255 ( the title of the song is the number for suicide prevention call center)

It's hard to convey my love of cannabis. If you the worst that comes of using this plant it not accomplishing goals, becoming lazy, that's actually wonderful. Some people , like me, create whole imaginary worlds, very different from the human dream. The laws of physics change, this other world is so uhman, so alien from consensus reality. Inhabiting it for years is like suicide. My soul craves Earth, humans, and relationships. People can't read your mind in the human dream. It feels invasible when people start reacting to your thoughts in such an obvious and tangible way. The weed dream was fun. I love it. Better psychedelics, meditation, and Love can give me everything I want. I need some sex. I need a girlfriend. I need normal days. I need a quiet dream. The cannabis dream is so loud, so shakti, so crazy and anxious. So awe inspiring, so consuming.

Hello, My name is Gabriel, I'm 30 years old. Every day since I was a teenager, I've had thoughts about torture. The images and dialogues are - infinite possibilities of how to be tortured. - thinking about all those who are being tortured now, knowing that it's me - knowing that I am Everything and that I see through every eye & that there IS endless ways to be tortured and will be even worse when science will be able to keep humans alive in the worst conditions ever There's also a great fear of being tortured in this dream that I identify with now. I've already tried to let go of that many times, sometimes I stay with my presence and everything's fine because I'm not bothered by all these thoughts and fears. I can do that in the evening in my garden because it's the only time I'm not engaged with survival, during the day I must play the game to have money and pay my bills. And it's really hard to stay in my presence during activities and interactions with "others". Sometimes I really wish I hadn't woken up, so I wouldn't know that I am everyone. I can't accept the inevitability of what it is to be God... Living forever and living through all the worst things that happen and will happen I'm really lost because suicide isn't a solution (no eternal rest and no end...) there's no escape to this and I cannot accept this, it burns me Can you help me please? Much love

there's couple of gay pornstars who committed suicide and i can't watch theirs clips anymore, it's morbid for me....

People treated as products, abuse, fatherlessness, too much pleasure = suicide, gender pronouns. It's all here.

https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/ I'm looking at these stats and getting around a 3.3% death rate from reported suicides. I assume these numbers can be way off in either direction because of inaccurate attempts and inaccurate deaths by suicide. I might be wrong but I would guess my own success rate would be carefully planned and 100%, but who knows. I'm honestly wondering though if the thought of pain is the main reason people are unsuccessful? I often wished of a state of Nirvana/nothingness, but do not want to experience the thought of physical pain, the pain of others because of my action, etc.

Ever since I was a teenager, the TV in my living room was always displaying scenes of torture and murder. I couldn't stop watching what was on the TV. I mean, what if the stuff in the TV happened to me one day? Everyone will go through something like that some day, right? If not in this life time, I will reincarnate into some other life, and what is happening in the TV will happen to me anyways. I can't bear the burden of having what is happening on the TV happen to me. There are many shows on the TV about reincarnation, so it's entirely possible that I would be transported to that type of reality as well. After all, there are no limits to reality. I could try commiting suicide to try and prevent what is happening inside the TV from happening to me, but I am here for eternity, so that won't work. Oh god, is there ANY way to escape from what is happening in the TV? It's impossible.

@Display_Name A couple years ago I had similar fears about AI. I was worried that some super AI would take over and somehow manage to keep me alive forever. It would torture me to death and then revive my body until eternity. Nowadays (even though AI is way more powerful then back then) that fear is completely absent in me. Looking back, I can see that there was a massive amount of unprocessed fear in my system. I believe that at least some of this fear came from my family lineage. In my dads side of the family there have been many generations of people who seriously believed in hell. I was raised as an atheist, but I think this fear of hell somehow got programmed into me. So when I heard Sam Harris talking about AI taking over, my fear of hell buttons got pushed hardcore. At the darkest moments I considered wearing a suicide pill on a necklace, so that if I read somewhere that AI had gotten super powerful I could quickly kill myself before the AI could get its tentacles on me. I think the way out of these nightmarish thoughts is doing serious deep healing work. Feeling your feelings, working through your traumas. I don't think 'not allowing negative thoughts' is going to cut it. I was never able to banish negative thoughts from my head. The only thing that worked was working through my shit. And this was more on the level of the body and emotions, then on the level of mind(although working on beliefs can be powerful as well). The fear of AI/hell can also greatly be reduced by deeply realising that there is nothing wrong with you, and that you are and have always been 100% been worthy of love. The universe will not torture you because you are bad. You are not bad, and the universe loves you unconditionally. On a different note. Everything is happening within consciousness, so it's impossible to upload your consciousness into a simulation. If in your dream you dreamt that there is some super AI, then no matter how smart this AI is, it could never put your dream into itself. It is in the dream, not the other way around Uploading consciousness into the computer is complete nonsense. It's like a if a television screen was worried that the villain in the movie was going to lock it up in a basement and torture it forever. I really hope this helps. Having these fears was the darkest time of my life. You can work through this and then the world will look very different again.

I just wanted to say thank you to Leo for all his honesty and content. It is very reassuring. Leo has mentioned he wasn't sure if his substance use or other choices would eventually lead to his own suicide. This was very refreshing to hear. I have also had this weird feeling of knocking over the first domino and not knowing where it will lead. I have felt scared and even an occasional impending sense of doom. I saw another person state sometimes on psychedelics reality is so torn you realize your mind, brain, and heart are not in danger but suddenly you realize your very soul, spirit, or life force is somehow in jeopardy. But that is the adventure of life. And life has some big risks and big rewards. It is very yin yang and "everything-is-God" and beyond good and evil. Thanks again. Much love!

@integral i am in this situation going on 31 now. I can honestly say i am rather suicidal. The thing is I wanted someone since I am 15 but I have been chased away from girls from the beginning, what's even worse the guy who bullied me 8 long years attempted suicide and is rotting in the ground since 13 years....I am hiding my inner self for 16 years now...what do you thin about this peter pan analogy from Jordan Peterson. I felt like it happened to me even though I had an existensial shock with 12 and all the other developmental phases I tried to manipulate myself into some childish behavior.

I'm aware of that but you didn't answer the question. If that's what you are suggesting, are you aware over 700,000 people worldwide commit suicide each year. I wonder what the causes were. Probably not from being on a forum. Other factors are involved. Do you blame gun manufactures for every person that gets shot. I bet you don't blame the Supermarkets for hosting poisons on their shelves that's slowly causing millions of deaths each year. The blame game never gets to the root cause.

Are you suggesting that Leo killed the guy from the forum that committed suicide. Not saying you are, I'm not sure, that's why I'm asking; or at least was the cause of his death. BTW, I am familiar with that incident.

I love that Hallucinating song haha. Talking to myself in a loving manner is becoming the norm. I feel really loved by myself. I'm there for Me at last and it feels good. I've been expressing a lot of anger recently. Three days ago I was tripping and at some point a lot of anger arose in Me and I started screaming into a pillow so hard my throat hurt - FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did that like 4 times and proceeded with the trip lol. I've been angry with myself for many reasons. Not knowing what I am, disappointing myself, lying, ignoring important aspects of My life. Crafting a detailed suicide plan one month ago when I was at my lowest. Fuck. The last one stings the most. I mean not so much anymore I think because I expressed a lot of the anger already (working through it step by step everyday) and tried to forgive myself but yeah. It may still be lingering there, idk. I wanted to share this for the sake of honesty. Now I'm feeling better, cleaner, happier. I'm more motivated from a place of love. I'm being more expressive with people, genuine, peaceful. Things are looking brighter. I'm reading Radical Honesty right now. I love the book, read over half of it so far. It's inspiring Me to express my emotions (especially anger) openly with others and not lie about shit. Like I'm lying to my family about my psychedelic use, forum use, all that stuff. I won't expose everything all at once but I'll do it in small steps. First I'll tell the truth to my sister. Next to my mom. Next to my dad. Baby steps + I'll do it wisely. I'll certainly practice these conversations first in my mind. It'd be nice if I lived up to my name, right? Because so far I've been Insincerity in so many ways, I feel. Fuck that, man. I wanna be Love itself.

I actually thought about exactly this when I wrote my post , how suffering can be equally as deep no matter the context of it. But I didn’t bother to edit as I still got my overall point across I think. Im speaking to the average sex buyer and about the average prostitute. Sure there are perhaps exceptions with these luxury escorts but the average doesn’t look like that I guess in a way I’m trying to highlight how actually both the buyer and the prostitute aren’t benefitting from it. I bet you most men who buy sex don’t actually want to be the man who does it, they don’t want to have this sense of self as this man who buys sex, it’s quite humiliating to their own self image. At most maybe it could be a temporary relief from deep pain but nothing more than that . Sure if you on the brink of suicide and buying some sex helps a little I understand but I don’t believe the average sex buyer is coming from that place so this suffering argument doesn’t hold there…. how can I know how the average prostitute suffers? Well firstly simply being a female gives me some understanding of female psychology I would say, also my own research into this topic that has somehow fascinated me from a young age (held a speech about it in 9th grade lol) . Reading inside stories from former prostitutes watching documantaries etc also another thing. I think what this all sort of boils down to is that I have this inherent ability to internalize my own suffering in some way, and then perhaps I’m holding other people to such a standard but perhaps not everyone has this ability to internalize their suffering so they do experience that their suffering is inherent to an external situation (for example lack of sex) . But maybe I’m trying to point out how you actually are doing yourself also a disservice because yourself don’t want to have that sense of self as a sex buyer okay I will stop here ? it’s exhausting to try to concoct all these perfect answers I’ll let them be messy asf. But also I’m not really defensive about this I’m just trying to share what I sense about stuff

Depends. You don't know how strong the male drive for sex is, nor what a lack of sex can make a man feel, and neither of us (I'm guessing) know how the average prostitute suffers. Suffering is very a hard thing to quantify. Imagine an unattractive guy with zero confidence who is 30, a virgin, and has never been loved by anyone; I could easily see that person suffering just as much as an average prostitute, maybe more. To back that up; there is a statistic that virgin men in their late teens and 20s are an exceptionally high suicide risk, on the order of 4x more likely than women or non-virgin men. To be clear I think prostitution is generally bad in most cases and I would never use one, although there are likely women who get into it and enjoy it. Think sugar daddy type relationships. There are no men who enjoy being a 30 year old unloved virgin. My point is that comparing suffering of two groups like this can be hard, since no one has experienced both situations.