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Thank you for the contribution and follow-up, mr Origins~ yes it is pretty cool, after all, and you are too, but… How much did all that have in context with the OP? Free-wheeling through what you thought you read isn't cool.. However good your points may be, you completely misunderstand the context of "get rid of", so going off on tangents in terms of the aspects of conditioned perception illustrated by the conceptual aid you employed as the "lens", goes far afield. I can't believe you actually studied the poem to have come up with your long responses relative to someone else who also missed the point of the OP. Please make note: the issue is not a question of a quality of perceptive breadth, or a need for a compensatory action, it is the evidence of The StarGuitarist's failure to grasp the point of the 500 year old and famously conveyed message— or else he was too much in a hurry to actually articulate anything at all relevant to the topic, hence the graphic throw-away. It is essentially a cheap post. He's whining. WTF. TheStarGuitarist posted a cartoon that laments an ever present condition being loneliness. The Solitary Bird is a Master Class on the benefits of aloneness. Actually, it is a consice treatise which cuts through to the marrow on how to live one's life audaciously, in terms of accessing one's inherent potential. Obviously, in complaining about such an existential affliction, one can easily deduce that the author of the post didn't get the point of the poem in the first place, and that the complaint is obviously a priori, a persistent object of aversion. Therefore, it is beyond obvious that most people are of the mind to get rid of such afflictions. I did not bring up the idea of getting rid of even the object of aversion. I said to get rid of the source of the aversion— which is, the TheStarGuitarist's perspective based on habit-patterned conditioned awareness. Therefore loneliness, or even working with such affliction per se, has nothing to do with the content of the subject of this thread. This thread is about the message embedded in the poem, which is a study on enlightening activity. Please keep comments on-topic and avoid drifting off on unrelated tangents. Nothing on this thread pertains to therapeutic technique(s) nor those who need fixing. The subject is the OP. TheStarGuitarist's post is utterly off-topic in terms of the thrust of the teaching employed by San Juan de la Cruz in his The Solitary Bird because the post's content shows a complete ignorance of the obvious enlightening, uplifting, inspirational and self-empowering knowledge embedded in its few short lines. The purpose of the thread is to extoll the obvious enlightening, uplifting, inspirational and self-empowering knowledge embedded in its few short lines, and to provide a venue for relevant commentary on the specifics introduced in the poem. You did not even attempt that much, hence the expression of my displeasure in your off-topic post. The source of the off-topic lament is the cartoon's insinuation by way of the the self-importance of ego-consciousness masquerading as melancholy, or existential self-consciousness. THIS is what is to be gotten rid of. There is no need to employ a lens— one must completely forget to come up with such garbage in the first place, non? Whereas the ignorant are, for the most part, barely cognizant of the sources of such affliction in their conditioned self-conscious awareness— they only want the affliction to stay "under the radar" and are incapable of addressing the root issues involved in attaining conscious enlightening liberation. The deluded are such by virtue of their penchant for habitually responding only to the seeds of ever-recurring growths of habit-energies cloying the psychological apparatus of the being that is going to die. To be liberated, as such, would be as if stripped of one's imaginary role in life, which is attachment to appearances and following thoughts relative to ego-consciousness unawares. That's karmic bondage. Otherwise what is the point of SELF realization? To be stripped bare of such habits. Yes! Again, let's not use this thread as a point of departure relative to therapeutic fixes for the deluded. This is not a provisional teaching. Do you know? What's my point? There is such a thing as advance practice beyond the reach of most people on a grand scale. You did not address any aspect of that in your posts. There is nothing lacking in the way of life of a solitary bird. Period. That which is advocated in the lines of The Solitary Bird is for those who do not lament existential process. That would be those who have awakened to inherent enlightening being. Why? Because existential process is where reality is found. The Solitary Bird is for those who carry on without bothering about such trifles as lamenting that which is, ie: existential process. That which is worthy of minimization and refinement until it dies out completely is the conditioned human mentality that obscures the innate enlightening function of selfless spiritual adaption to WHAT IS. A lens of any manufacture or design that can render reality in terms of the viewer's perspective, regardless of its angle of view is a provisional adjunct. Why? Because ultimately, there is no inside or outside— no viewer or viewed; beyond self and other, where would there be a lens to employ? For the initiated, this is not a metaphor. What is left when one succeeds in the (never ending) process of self-refinement (in terms of sudden enlightenment when one's spiritual potential is released for the first time) is the nonoriginated mind-ground void of self. This is the absolute. Advance practice for those who have subsequently awakened to their innate enlightening potential relative to endless self-refinement, is impersonally harmonizing the all-at-once Absolute with the incremental quality of conditioned karmic evolution, ie: the Creative. Ultimately these two are not different (for buddhas). Harmonizing the light of awareness to delusional self-consciousness is a thing (not really). It's buddhahood. Actually, in terms of buddhahood's application, it is called the "middle way" or, the Supreme Vehicle of Buddhas (Buddhism did not invent this. I'm just using buddhist terminology.) So even though the "middle way" has its place in terms of provisional teaching, as does your contribution— ultimately, enlightening practice (selfless spiritual adaption) is not a personal endeavor relatively based on even conventional ideals. There is no "technique" employed, simply due to the fact that one does not do it. In other words, one does not rely on one's own power. Such potential is inherent in the situation itself. It's not the person. So there is absolutely nothing cool about it. I want you to reflect on this fact. It's NOT cool. Why? What this is, is everyday ordinary entry into inconceivability by having realized inherent enlightening being's impersonal potential as one's spiritual function in terms of adapting to endless karmic cycles of birth and death without being subject to the laws of (karmic) creation. There is no other creation. Creation, karma, eternity, endless cycles of yin and yang are all different names for the same delusional quality of existence. Those who are deluded within delusion are buddhas. Those who experience realization upon realization are the deluded. You might not understand that. If not, please feel free to PM me. We all have our part to work out in this seamless continuum. The process of clarifying the foundation of perceptive qualities may very well include aspects of your contribution to this thread, but your point of address relative to "getting rid of…" is perhaps irrelevant (to this thread) because the comment implying there is something to get rid of (the affliction — and more to the point, the implied complaint in the first place) has no basis in fact with the point of the OP. Let's raise our game, mr Origins! Presence is automatic impersonal adaption to what is, not off-topic interjections of pet theories, however relevant they may be, or actually are, to applications of general enlightening practice. Why? Because, for the initiated, the first four conditions epressed in the OP address fundamentals for practicing the Science of Essence, not the dual aspect of the Science of Life, which is only addressed in the last condition (singing softly). Both sciences of essence and life are specific to taoist spiritual alchemy, not unrelated to profound penetration of the teaching embedded in The Conditions of a Solitary Bird. All such study of works by prior illuminates are conducive to talismanic receptivity. This means that only those who can look back, as such, and see the sign-posts in reverse, as it were, are on the dusty path of authentic entry and penetration into the mystery. What's so cool about that? It's not cool, mr Origins, unless you see the reality, and you don't . You should see that reality isn't a matter of technique; it's just real, nothing more, nothing less. At any rate, the point you wished to address had more to do with a quality of perception which would be well to pursue in appropriate contexts and not much at all to do with the subject of this thread which is The Conditions of a Solitary Bird. Please try to keep comments limited to: a thorough understanding of who said what, what was said, and most importantly, please strive to employ contextual adherence with the actual topic, however well intentioned and well expressed they may otherwise be. Please feel free to address the OP as soon as you want to, but please keep your content on-topic. Please read and reflect on the poem itself. I welcome your good points and skillfully written content in the future— really!!❤︎ ed note: typo paragraph 9

This can be a tough decision with many options to choose from. Your at a important time in your life with many crossroads. However, you are not bounded to these three options. You have infinite options. There is bound to be a near-perfect, excellent option. Now let's get into it. There seem to be two major considerations here, children and career / purpose. Let's start with children. A lot of this, would be more research and developing confidence, certainty (in whether to have children or not have children, and at what time) First, an idea to consider. I would say Learning, discovering and having a life purpose (even if it's a draft, just an idea), working toward it for a while, then after pausing (or really slowing down) for children (the early years) and coming back to life purpose afterwards Is better than Having/raising children then saying "alright now let's get started on this life purpose stuff" There are some caveats. The older someone is, practically speaking, they may want to start having children sooner, so the second option might be more optimal (considering fertility and healthy childbirth). Another thing to consider is when would you not want to have children, when would be this whatever "limit" (considering fertility, healthy childbirth, energy, etc.) For my mom she had her first child at 27 and last child (as of right now haha) at 39 years old. This can be entirely different for different people. However the hard limit, at menopause, would be around 40s - 50s. With the average age in US being 51, according to the Mayo Clinic. It might be that during times of a child's early life, that life purpose will be slowed down for a while. This might even give you a break to think and contemplate on your life purpose. So another relevant thing to consider would be how many children do you want? (If you did end up having children, would it be just one?). The amount of children you would want to have, if you did have some would be crucial in this decision. If you would want to have multiple children, however many years apart (like maybe 9 months or 1 year or 2 year or 5 years or whatever amount of years) then having children earlier rather than later would be in your favor. It also may be (or probably is) the case that as a mother (traditionally and, even naturally, the caregiver) you have it more difficult, therefore immense time management and prioritization (at different times or phases of life) would be essential. Consider how and how much the father would be in play, helping with the caregiving. It would probably be best to research people (or to be frank, mothers) who have had children and life purpose aswell. Research, learn, contemplate, ponder this option, how and if balance can be achieved. Although, likely no one is 100% certain that they want to have kids. I would say, at minimum, be around 70% certain for making this major life decision. This would mean researching, pondering, contemplating and learning to have greater certainty in what you want (just as if someone who was ending high school but uncertain to go to college should research to solidify their certainty rather than letting life just pass by). It does sound that you aren't within the certainty range (70%~, keep a mind this is a number I pulled this out of nowhere) of having kids. However, still research, ponder to increase your certainty, confidence in whatever decision you choose. Another very important factor, is one you will have children with, the father. Consider how will this family you are starting with him be, whether you want him as the father of your children, etc. Having children, seems almost certainly, most of the time, best under a longterm relationship. (Although, I haven't done research about alternatives, I think it's safe to assume this is the case) Whether you want to have a long term commitment with the father is an important point. Also whether the father wants to have children is a factor to consider to, haha. Totally forgot about that. Consider, from what I have touched, the factors of To have or not have children? When to have children? Who to have children with? Do they want to have children? How many children to have? All these factors doesn't mean "oh I'm uncertain let me not do anything" but "I'm uncertain, let me figure out, with a certain level of certainty, what I want and let me pursue that". Reseach, ponder, contemplate, learn and figure out, discover what you want in terms of children. This is arguably as essential, or possibly even more important then life purpose (If you are having children). Kids are huge commitment but, it seems, they can also provide massive value to your life. Now for career / purpose (+ finances). It's important to note finances, career and passion/purpose don't have to be the same thing. Someone can be earning money through stock dividends and a part-time job while working toward a career in school, while figuring out and developing their purpose and passion on the side. While, this may not always be the case, it seems important to note. However, I would say, ideally someone's career would be the same as their passion/purpose. For finances, this could be a different story. Someone could be financially free or developing other forms of income while working in a less profitable purpose/passion. With that in mind, I would say continue to discover. Don't compartmentalize finances as a part of your career/employment. While career/employement can be a major part of your finances (and cashflow) it doesn't have to be. Although, as someone with (a soon to be) doctorate in theoretical physics you likely have an interest (or even passion) in the field and with the skills/value you can provide - you will have no trouble with finances. I would say, ideally it doesn't so you can 100% focus on purpose/passion and to hell with anything that isn't align with it. (This may be my own preference/opinion though). This would also mean financial freedom, which is something you might want to pursue. Furthermore, note that you aren't limited to those 2 options. Unlike children, where it's fewer options, with career and employement there are atleast hundreds, if not thousands of jobs and options out there. And considering all the paths, subpaths, combinations, nuances and unconsidereds options, it's like there are "infinite" options. I would make an extensive list of all the jobs, fields, locations, passions, purposes you can go into. Consider all the places you could go. Consider all the fields you can go into. Consider all the jobs you can pursue, whether it's private, government, academia, non-profit, etc. You may not find "infinite" practical options but it's way more than 2 options. If you haven't found an atleast decent option, you haven't considered enough options. What are all the potential jobs, careers, positions, fields, domains locations, passions, purposes, options? What are the motivations, the why for each option? Why would I, what would be the benefits of each option? Do you have to do post doc abroad? Where could you go? What locations could you do postdoc (or other jobs/positions for that matter)? What other careers/fields (other than IT/Data Analyst) can you go into? What skills do you have? (Theoritcal physics is a extremely reputable major especially as a doctorate, you probably have access to an abundance of fields) Possibly feel into, intuit but also examine, consider more "logically" how you would feel, what you would experience. Use both the emotion and the logical for a wise approach (And whatever else) Ask and figure out why you would do each decision. What are the motivations Exploration/ Self-Experimentation are key to discovering what you want to do. And as you mentioned you do have an idea of what you want, from previous experience. I would say take this further and actively experiment (or continue on, if you were already consciously experimenting before). Treat the next career/job you go into as active experimentation while also using prediction and what you currently know. A process utilizing your current knowledge to predict but also seeking further experimentation to clarify what you want. While likely less revealing, experimentation on the children option is possible aswell. In addition to talking to others (and researching and contemplation), you can hang around kids, work with kids. You can also psuedo-experiment by imagining, visualizing and contemplating deeply what it would be like, what all the implications, delights and ramifications of having children. But I digress In terms of career/purpose, for the options you have given, If you have a significant relationship with your partner, it may be challenging to go abroad. Consider, that unless this is known to be temporary and shortterm, this may put you on entirely different life paths and the relationship may not survive. This really depends, like on how long the relationship has been, if you have been long distance before, your partner, etc. (I don't know shit about your relationship so to be honest I can't even say shit but consider the ideas above.) You might want to heavily consider other options (like for the postdoc option, a postdoc where you are, nearer where you are, or somewhere he can go, etc.). Or, if this resonates at all, going along different paths if you know your path forward is abroad and he cannot come. Notice you can switch paths at any time (well practically, not at anytime but you know what I mean). If you don't like postdoc, you can go into industry. If you don't like industry you can go into postdoc. (However this doesnt apply to children haha). I consider this option of career/purpose to be extremely flexible, and uncommitting as opposed to the children option. That may be something that eases the decision. As for the paths you mentioned, if those are your main options, you can go for a postdoc (either abroad or not) or industry (whichever one you lean more toward) experiment with that, and if after a month it isn't the option you like, it seems, you can just as easily turn around and do the other. It seems, that you can do this for most any career/job option. From what I understand, my very limited knowledge, the therotical physics options are primarily research, government, academia and private sector. Consider which at of all these you would want to go in most. Also discover, further what exactly you want out of your life purpose. Research, study, experiment what you want your life purpose to be. With this limited time, you must make a decision, or the decision to put the decision on hold (like take the option with most flexibility). A lot of the factors you mentioned like caring/analytical balance (both empathy, people-focused skills and analytical skills), connection, interaction with passionate people and variety are factors that can be in a plethora of domains and fields. This can be considered a good thing, as that means you have alot of freedom in what you choose. This can also mean, you should narrow down the fields/domains you would be most interested in (which it seems would be physics / therotical physics but it may not be this, and doesn't have to be). You mentioned some more specific pointers like whether you would want to go into science, whether you would want to go into people-focused / therapeutic type field. Furthermore, your biggest struggle of isolation (depression, inability to connect, loneliness, etc.), consider whether you want to work surrounding that. Also realize you don't have to do work surrounding or associated with that. You also mentioned something that interests you, pushing the limits of human knowledge, the beauty of abstract of ideas. From my very limited knowledge of you, here is some random purpose ideas to consider Expanding the collective minds and science to the next level, opening up people's perspectives to consciousness or different ideas, from within the framework of science, dismantling the flaws of science and science itself from the inside, evolving science to the next level, supercharging, super-evolving science to have centuries of evolution in the next decades, ideas, pursuits similar to Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Niels Bohr, Max Planck, bringing the full implications of quantum mechanics and different theoretical physics to light, bringing practical applications to the ideas of theoretical physics, increasing human knowledge, advancements in theoretical physics, physics, science, knowledge to improve society, the world, everything, Those are just random ideas to consider. Your purpose doesn't have to have anything to do with that (as I likely don't have to tell you) Try to truly discover what you would want to go into (or experiment with). That life purpose, or idea/draft of your purpose, would inform your next step in terms of career/purpose. With children, you can really only predict/assess and develop confidence/certainty in whatever you want. With career/purpose, in addition to prediction/assessment, you can experiment, consistently tailor and fine tweak your purpose and path until you find what is best, excellent and optimal. Therefore, it may be best to focus on and highly consider the children option before career/purpose. However, everything I said are just ideas and speculation as I barely know anything about you. I do think it may be possible to find a sort of "objectively" best decision but this would be based on impersonal knowledge (what most humans desire, what is best for most people, what certain truths are, what happiness is, what the good life is, all in general) and personal knowledge (knowing your preferences, desires, experiences, thoughts, insights, self-understanding). It seems, most of the time people can't have enough of the personal knowledge that it would be unwise to claim a best decision. That is why everything I said is suggestions but based on what I would say, from my imperfect knowledge, are impersonal truths. Consider them as ideas, potentialities and suggestions. However, there is a path forward. It consist of research and learning, intuition and contemplation and (sometimes) exploration and experimentation into what is best.

Stage Turquoise Coping tips How to deal with the Turquoise value system? For Turquoise, complete integration is the norm, in the broadest sense of the word. All facets and aspects of life must be rated at its true value and must be included. Turquoise lives and works beyond the ego and aims to realize a dynamic balance between people, animals, nature, the earth and the universe. What are positive stimuli for Turquoise? Creating more space and openness to work with a unity consciousness, other worlds and energetic dimensions. To have the discipline and endure slowing down to anticipate this. What are negative stimuli for the Turquoise Value System? Creating an atmosphere of separateness. See the world purely from the individual or human perspective. Leaving aside the energetic dimensions of life. Qualities and Shadows What are healthy manifestations of Turquoise? To see the world and the cosmos as an integral whole. To explore, feel and pragmatically work together to solve the large complex problems to serve humanity and the earth. What are unhealthy manifestations of Turquoise? Stay in a spiritual and/or cosmic consciousness too long without taking earthly action. Prejudices Which prejudices may other value systems have about Turquoise? Purple may experience Turquoise as out of this world and not in touch with everyday reality. Red has difficulties to really see Turquoise for what it is. According to Red, Turquoise is unworldly and doesn’t take a stand. This is why Red finds it difficult to respect this value system. Blue may experience Turquoise as swimming with the tide and without structure and finds it difficult that Turquoise is continuously adapting to the ever-changing life conditions. Orange may experience Turquoise as woolly, daydreaming and Utopian. Green may experience Turquoise as putting things into perspective too much, as impersonal and very broadly orientated. This is why Turquoise is, in a way, too elusive for Green. Yellow may experience Turquoise as too calm, too acceptant and therefore lacking action.

I would say they are experiencing something that is clearly different from how the majority of people act. But I wouldn't call them ill or sick. Because most so-called mental diseases are potentially there in how the human mind works. You can observe yourself hearing voices in your head.. Talking to yourself.. Having opposing views (multiple personalities) etc. Yet it's just mild. So imo.. The symptoms of mental illness are potentially there in every human.. It's just in their case (mental people) they reach a point where they are unable to control it anymore.. Whereas for the majority of people they are able to fake that they are a "person" with a linear personality. Acting can happen. Your body mind can act in a way that is in accordance to the conditioning that it received throughout your whole life. Or it can act in a different way that is not familiar with it. In both cases.. Whatever the body-mind does.. It's not "free".. At the center of this whole thing.. There isn't an agency who is doing.. Acting.. Who is ill or normal. The true Self is pure awareness. Pure being. Pure existence. This pure being is impersonal. It's not someone or something. It's unconditional because its not this or that. It's just there as a silent witness. The body and mind are conditioned. It can't act without a program. Therefore not free. You speak English because that's the language you've been programmed with. Change the programming into French language.. The body Wil start speaking French. And if the body didn't receive any linguistic programming.. The body won't talk any language!. But in both cases.. You as the awareness are not affected. Awareness. You become aware that "this is a dream" while you are dreaming..

The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 1, 2 and 3 6 stages of Ego Development by Cook-Greuter: - Based on the sentence completion test. - It models how self-identity/ego evolves over time - Find out what kind of ego do you have? - This is focused on cognitive and mental development - Modelling how the mind is relating to reality - "The whole previous meaning system is transformed and restructured into a new, more expansive and inclusive self-theory and theory of the world" - The function of the ego is meaning-making - The ego is constantly engaged in the battle of sense-making - Here we look at the structure of the mind (watch content vs structure) - "A person's understanding of power, feedback, time, love, integrity, and truth, for instance, changes with increasing development." - 9 stages 1) Symbiotic 2) Impulsive 2/3) Opportunist - 4.3% 3) Conformist 3/4) Expert 4) Achiever 4/5) Pluralist 5) Autonomous/Strategist 5/6) Construct-Aware/ Magician 6) Unitive PRECONVENTIONAL STAGE - Symbiotic - a baby - dependant on parents - struggling to make sense to the world - Impulsive - toddler - stage in which you have your earliest memories - thinks in crude dichotomy - easy for the mind to feel overwhelmed and feel abandoned - People are seen as objects to gratify one's needs - Opportunist - the mind is very impulsive, animal-like, self-centred - Doesn't consider the needs and suffering of others - mind is not capable of insight into itself or others in any psychological sense. - life is seen as a zero-sum game. If I win, you lose. If you lose I win - There is a sense of self having two sides, inner self and an outer self to shield it from others - A problem would arise due to the mask one wears and how one really feels - Social rules are recognized but are only followed for the immediate benefit or to avoid punishment - One is socially invested in the concrete visible world of things that they can own - Self-respect = my ability to control others - Other's are always to blame not one's self - One is prone to anger when frustrated and the anger tends to be loud and projected outwards - Actions are only bad if one is caught or punished. - Show little remorse when they are caught - If it is caught, they tend to blame others - Success can be archived in business if its about opportunism and unilateral power. - business as exploitation - showing weakness in this stage is considered dangerous - The more others know about me, the more one is gonna take advantage of me. So I have to hide my true self from others so that it doesn't get taken advantage of. - Morality doesn't compute in the mind - not much empathy - Defence mechanism: + Blame + Distortions to minimize one's own anxiety, fantasy, acting out. Twisting the truth around to suit one's own self + Self-protective, bull-headed, tunnel vision and are constantly blowing up + Don't find common grounds + Exploit other's weakness + Negative emotions are expressed loudly unabashedly CONVENTIONAL STAGES Conformist/ Diplomate - Ego evolved beyond the opportunist stage and is discovering a new "We space" - I am part of a community - The groups here are only of 2 types: the in-group and the out-group (us and them) - There is a confused boundary between self and the in-group - This stage is very sheep-like - People are perceived as your allies or your enemies - These people feel honoured to be in a part of a group with high status - At this stage of cognitive development, the mind is unable to take perspectives of other groups - At this stage, the mind cannot comprehend that other groups hold absolute beliefs as well. - The mind at this stage cannot distinguish between belief and reality - Belief is taken as reality - No distinction between belief and experience either - No sense of recognition that beliefs can be wrong - Mind tries to uphold tradition and avoid rocking the boat - Feedback is experienced as an attack and critique as wrongdoing - doesn't evaluate things independently - they need roles to be rigid and absolute - Black and white, either good or bad - The action here carried out with absolute conviction - Strong sense of guilt and shame - confused and threatened by different perspectives, diversity, complexity, paradox, and multi-culturalism (Note: with every stage, you are taking more and more responsibility) - Sexuality is treated like an animalistic instinct that needs to be controlled - People tend to be very judgemental - Anger is suppressed - Sense of self is denied by others - Great value is put on material 3rd-dimensional stuff - main anxiety is not to belong and be rejected by the group - Asking the superior what to do is the natural way to deal with difficulties - Avoid conflict within the group - Suppressing their emotions, needs and wants Expert Stage - Able to step back and look at oneself as an object from a distance - Rudimentary self-reflection - Want to be unique - get away from family and want to express newly found personhood - Feels good to be noticed as unique - Want to be respected for one's want and abilities - focus on finding one's own voice - capable of dealing with abstract objects and concepts and want to assert itself - vision to be more successful - the compulsive perfectionistic tendency here to outdo one's self - want to be the best - negative feedback as a personal rebuke - enjoys criticizing others as a way to establish one's own superiority and power - one's own way of doing things is considered the right way or the superior way - focused on doing the task right rather than doing the right task - Science becomes the religion - superiority complex - feels disappointed in oneself for not doing better - strong sense of shoulds and wants - Doesn't easily collaborate with others - argumentative and opinionated. The intellect becomes weaponized and becomes aggressive - The ego lives in a world where things are sure and clear - Doesn't realize that one's perspectives is one of many valid perspectives - person is overworked - hard time delegating tasks - loves to have the last word - hostile sense of humour - defence mechanism: Hyper rational logic - highly educated specialist - superego is strong at this stage but not available for introspection - If I can do it, you can do it too attitude - 1% openness - Early interest in causality Achiever - 5 to 10 years forwards and backwards vision - you can continue to grow from mind and heart as an adult - excited for self-knowledge and self-improvement - beginning to appreciate conceptual complexity - Recognizes that the way that the problem is framed is the problem itself - planful and capable of reorienting towards new goals - still convinced in the scientific method doesn't question it very much - looking for rational laws and ways in which the universe works - much of science is done from this achiever stage - better at working in a collaborative environment - recognizing that making new distinctions is important for growing one's mind - create complex theories and models - actively asks to find out what makes other's tick - trusts in the potential to improve oneself using effort, learning and feedback - could take misguided criticism and see it as useful - the concern with reasons, causes, and effective use of one's time - interested in knowing the reasons and causes for unwanted behaviour - starts to realize self-deception is a thing - importance of distinguishing appearance from reality - starting to connect with your feelings - becoming familiar with their own biases and projections - One can consciously use negative energy in productive ways - sense of responsibility actualizing one's potential - there is guilt for not being more successful and more developed - questions the shoulds of the society and one's profession - guilt for having made wrong choices and regret for missed opportunities - more appreciative of diversities of people and perspectives - interpersonal relationships now become more intense and more important for the achiever - other's are valued for who they are rather than how they serve oneself - chooses to proceed based on one's own critical examination of what works and what is important - driven to improve the world - feeling of urgency - preoccupied with getting things done - issue of legacy and self-image becomes important - may create complex theory psychology and philosophy but they are still in the level of theories - drive to achieve that might lead to over exhaustion and burnout - not trying to figure things out is no longer an option - have a sense of responsibility for others even when pursuing their own agenda - fear of loss and control in autonomy - fear that they get sucked back into conformity - fear of loss of progress - material stuff and world is real - believes that most problems can be solved with technology GENERAL REMARKS - people's responses don't all fit into one category, there is a blend in categories - this model is about vertical development (changing your sense of reality and structure of your mind) - the levels alternate in a snakey sort of motion between differentiation and integration of the ego-self - see the significance of each stage and each stage is its own reality - Shows you what healthy human development and maturity looks like - HELPS YOU TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS WITHOUT DEMONIZING AND JUDGING THEM Note: this is meant to complement the video. Please watch the video, I love it. I have been following Leo for 5.5 years and it literally changed my life in soo many ways <3 so this stuff is real. Also, the book list is FIRE. ------------------------------------------------------------------- The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 2 --PART 1/2--- General Remark - This is a scientific model and thus has it's own limits - Each stage has the capabilities of the earlier stages underneath it. - NONE of these stages are good or bad - each stage is its own reality but the higher stages are its own reality incorporating the lower reality. Therefore, the higher stages can understand the lower stages as it went through them. - You have to be humble enough to admit that there is something above your level of understanding - Just because you are in a higher stage, it doesn't mean that you are a saint. There are still dysfunctions in the higher stages. (but it tends to improve as it goes higher) - Humans do tend to regress stages when they are threatened or stressed - awakening or mystical experiences can happen in any stage but the interpretation is different based on their level POST-CONVENTIONAL - Previous stages, the ego was busy constructing itself, but in this stage, the ego starts deconstructing itself - deconstruction means turning your focus inwards, starting to really question yourself, starting to reflect on your beliefs & ideas. - Starting to realize the socially constructed nature of reality - Aspects of reality that could be deconstructed (Asking "is this really true for all people everywhere or is it just a local phenomenon" ) + Objective + Material + Real + Scientific + Absolute word + Rationality + Logic + Science + Government + Politics + Capitalist economic system - Relativity is a huge theme of the post-conventional stage. This is a huge leap. - There are many degrees of relativistic thinking - Awareness of one's own unexamined beliefs becomes... almost painfully brought into one's consciousness - the mind opens up to something beyond rationality, new ways of knowing the world than just logic. - noticing evolution and self-deception. All problems become a matter of perspective and mind (not a problem with the world but how you think and relate to the world) - There is a decrease in defensiveness and less blaming of others as you move up these stages - language starts to be questioned and it becomes complex - materialist assumptions are starting to be questioned (not completely but they are starting to be) - although objects are seen are permanent, the meaning is seen to be context-dependent - The boundaries of concepts seem to be much more flexible/movable/impersonal - The mind can compare the whole system of thought and organization with increasing distance - They can now look back to previous belief systems as systems - There is an appreciation of existential, metaphysical, psychological and epistemic issues and questions Pluralist (11% of the adult US population) - Relativity (check out Leo's episode of relativity part 1) - realizes there are multiple perspectives and exploring the perspective becomes fascinating. - Objective judgments become impossible - Life still pressures you into survival. While you want to explore all the perspectives, you still want to manage life. This can be difficult as it becomes hard to make decisions in life. Not all views are equally practical So you sort these views based on practicality - We cannot help filter our observations through our personal and subjective lenses. This humbles the mind - becomes aware of the culturalistic conditioning and you are not in control or values - Exercise: Travel to unconventional exotic places - They start to see all world views as equally valid and worthy of consideration - Truth becomes really difficult to find in this stage because everything starts to become relative and they might even deny there is such a thing as truth - The mind can stand outside itself it grew up in and observe itself/culture from above - Good at questioning hidden assumptions values and beliefs - there is a realization of self-deception as a defence mechanism [just beginning] (check out leo's video on self-deception. I personally highly recommend it) - If other people are so easily fooled, what are the chances that you are fooling yourself thinking that you are an exception to self-deception? - The greatest danger is your own mind and the beliefs and software that was programmed into your mind that was taken for granted with all the assumptions that you never questioned - They start questioning how do we know what we know? - Realizes that I am not immune to all the brainwashing - There is an awareness of how much society or awareness has shaped one's point of view, worldview, beliefs and values - The mind is seen as completely contingent on +historical context +geographic place +economic circumstance +education +the structure of society +culture +media +advertising +language - The inner world becomes more interesting than materialistic pleasure - trying to make sense of oneself - They realize the limitation of rationality - One of the chief ways the mind can deceive you is logic - exploration is more important than reaching a goal - Tends to be a distrust at the pluralist stage of conventional wisdom and hyper-rational wisdom - The scientific frame and the judgemental frame breaks down - They like to scrutinize their own assumptions and relish novel mental freedom - All values are now relative but survival still demands making choices and judgements that the pluralist struggles with - Rather than solving a problem, one must figure out what to define a problem - problems is an interplay between polarities neither one of which can simply be eliminated - enjoys paradox and contradiction without the need to eliminate them - linear logic gives way to a more holistic understanding - Not everything needs to be proven in order to be embraced - Value is placed upon insight and breakthrough - playful exploration and the imagination is set free - looks for connections and subtle clues rather than analyzing independent parts - useful information can now come from beyond science - sources that were viewed with ridicule such as intuition, feeling, dream, meditation, self-reflection, insight, these now become highly valued - there is a shift from doing to being and feeling - they like to live more unconventionally - good at finding novel ways at looking at the problem - they like to inspire others to pursue their own interest Traps: - they can appear amoral because they appear so relativistic - there is a dread that one's work-life won't allow self-expression and creativity - can feel isolated from others who don't understand the post-conventional mindset - there can be relationship problems if your partner is post-conventional and the other person is conventional - Diversity and equalities itself become an oppressive position. - They might judge others who do not hold their values - They still don't fully appreciate the others are not as developed as they are - They generally very tolerant of other's diverse ideas, behaviours, and cultures but they can come off as dreamers and non-doers - Tend to have an attitude of "It all depends" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 3 [Note: yes, I have written notes for the past 2 videos] *General* - It can be counter-productive to skip stages - Don't rush trying to get towards enlightenment or awakening. If you do, you won't be able to sustain it - Use this model to analyze what kind of people you are dealing with in your life - Use this model to determine what kind of teachings you need! - Focus on all the stages, if you don't do so, you will stagnate and will feel frustrated *Construct-Aware/ Magician* - mind and the material reality is tangled together is constructed - Realize that life is not an objective but rather a subjective and deeply personal thing - at this stage, you are concerned about what it means to be alive and the significance of your existence - everything that is held true is called into question once again - When you realize how much of reality is constructed by the mind, reality starts to feel intangible and groundless - Keen awareness of how the ego-mind distorts reality and comes up with models and understandings of reality to suit itself for the purpose of survival (Check out the 2 part series of understanding survival. Very Imp) - The realization that all objects are human-made constructions - keep appreciation between the idea of map and the territory - Realize how much language shapes your reality and understanding of the world - Cognizant of the pitfalls of language and it's a tremendous gift to mankind - Getting skillful at playing with the language and not getting stuck - Realize that concepts only make sense with what it surrounds and polar opposite - Awareness of how abstractions and concepts get made by the mind and responsible - hitting up with the limits of the human mind - conventional belief in the permanent, objective, external world starts to be questioned - The distinction between mind and body, self and others starts to break down - Objective and clear self-identification starts to be questioned at this stage - this stage has a flexible, continuously, deconstructing, non-reified notion of self - an acute awareness of the endless interplay of polar opposites - good at cross paradigmatic thinking - They have a global historical perspective - stepping back and awareness of meaning-making 41:27 - 42:16 (Very profound) - realization of the human need for map making and trying to organize experience and knowledge in ever more complex matrixes and meta-theory - Deconstructing personal stories and letting it go - Deception stages: Level 1: We have no idea that we are deceiving ourself Level 2: Start to get a little bit of idea that we are deceiving ourself Level 3: HOLY SHIT, I am deceiving myself and I am aware that I am deceiving myself, I CAN"T STOP deceiving myself because I am attached to it. Can't figure out how to let go yet. Level 4: You will be aware of self-deception that you will stop it before it starts. - Constantly questioning your own questioning process - there is lastish effort by the ego to create comprehensive maps and reality possible - theories incorporate other theories and become ever more complex - sense of isolation that comes in this stage as nobody is able to understand you and your complexity - start seeing the absurdity of map-making and stuff like this - glimpses of consciousness beyond language - a different relationship to knowing is necessary - An acute awareness of ego tricks and mechanisms - Ego functions as the CPU for all the stimuli and central reference point for all identity formation - realize how deeply you get stuck in the ego and how helpless and powerless it is to break out of it - The ego desires ego transcendence but it feels stuck even in it's own desires - The more one tries to break free, the more one gets stuck - Awareness of thoughts and how limited it is - all cognition is realized as constructed and split off from underlying non-dual territory - The concept of ego now becomes questionable - the mind wants to get free of linguistic filters but is stuck in its illusion - Duality is recognized which mutually necessitate each other - deep awareness of how one's unhappiness and judgements create unhappiness and so there is a lot of shedding and letting go of judging - seeks deeper compassion of self and others - has a dynamic and multidimensional understanding of human nature and human interaction - living in the edge of meaning and meaninglessness - awareness of one's own emotions and rational processing patterns but you have to use both - awareness of pseudo-reality created by words - rational explanations seem to be futile and impossible - the language itself is a tool of ego constructing and defending itself - capacity to draw from and appreciate insight from non-rational sources - momentary experiences where the knower and known merge and the personal self disappears - temporary freedom of the ego's constants effort to control - Ego can use this information to tute its own horn - As leaders, people tend to build their own novel organizations and work alone to make the best contribution to humanity that they can - take the role of catalyst and transformers inside organizations - tend to be consultant, mentors, therapist and coaches - open to not knowing - need to look good goes away - need for defensiveness starts to melt away - less need to impress others - depression at this stage is the man's existential aloneness and inability to create lasting meaning through a rational process - capable of perceiving the structure of its own thinking and feeling habits - language is much more authentic, vivid, complex and playful. It's more direct and raw - there is an attempt to let go of conscious structuring of what one says or does - catches himself in self-deception and catches himself and auto-corrects - Recognizing self-deception is an opportunity to grow and change your belief system - Ken Wilber uses two terms when referring to this stage: Vision logical and centaur(half animal half human and both learn to coexist) - questions the need of making order out of chaos - think of reality as an undifferentiated whole and realization of the interconnectedness of all things

@Moksha totally feel ya and love that humble reply... yes the personal impersonal....the wild and exciting unknowable ❤ Thanks for sharing ?

I’ve been perspective jumping. Not everyone is into this type of thing right now. Lots of different contexts of what “death” here represents. 1. There is the context of cheering on the death of a good person. 2. There is the context of personally hating a terrible person that has caused human suffering and cheering on their death as a form of justice. “Good for them. They got what they deserved”. 3. There is the context of cheering on the death of the suffering caused by an abuser. If someone abuses children and dies, there is the cheering for the death of the abuse. The abuse to the children has died. 4. There is also an impersonal form of death. If scientists figure out how to kill the coronavirus, the death of the coronavirus would relieve the suffering of billions of humans in the world. Yet the death of the virus could harm global biodiversity. Humans are cheering scientists on to develop a vaccine to kill the virus. Yet from the perspective of biodiversity in nature, nature may be highly uncomfortable cheering the death of a virus humans call terrible. From a trans-human view, the coronavirus and the death of millions of humans and subsequent re-structuring of human society may be good for biodiversity and nature. We could also draw a distinction between “rooting for” and “cheering for”. . . For example, let’s suppose If Trump survives, he will cause the the death of 2,000 plant/animal species and 200,000 human deaths in the next four years. From this perspective, who to root for seems like a no-brainer. Yet of course this is a simplistic hypothetical and it can get much more nuanced.

These comments are meant to be impersonal and not directed at any one person. This is a rational, logical perspective. This has value and is a partial truth. Yet one cannot see and understand the bigger picture of locked into this perspective. It is like the analogy of the blind men and the elephant. The man feeling the tail thinks the elephant is a rope and the man feeling the leg thinks the elephant is a pillar. Both have a partially true perspective, yet if they stay contracted within that perspective and debate whose part is actually the elephant, they will not be able to expand and gain broader understanding of the elephant. In SD theory, this would be a Tier 1 mindset. A Tier 2 mindset would realize that they are missing something and get curious. The man feeling the tail might think “What a minute, maybe I’m missing something”. Then the mind would get curious and want to explore other parts of the elephant. Yet this would involve letting go of the tail and exploring other parts (yet this does not mean the tail is “wrong” - it is still a part of the elephant). An orange level mind would want to either dissect the tail into smaller parts to understand the elephant or debate that the tail is the elephant. A yellow mind goes off into exploratory mode. Examples of such Tier 2 minds would be Gregory Bateson and Richard Feynman. In this metaphor, we could say that the tail of the elephant is rational reasoning of the situation and the leg of the tail is empathic / experiential understanding. Both are parts of the holistic elephant and both the tail and leg and inter-connected as rational thinking and empathic knowing are inter-connected. Yet a mind immersed in one part will not even be aware of other parts. The first step is to become aware that there are many parts that make up the elephant. Then the mind will create separate categories of parts. The next step is to see that all the categories are inter-connected. Bateson describes this beautifully in the Ecology of Mind documentary.

This is all your own projection onto being. If we substitute the word Love with Being would it make any difference in terms of the actuality of what is being pointed at?. Actually it would because everyone can recognize this being situation that's happening here. From the perspective of the ego.. There must be good and bad.. If you stop seeing bad you will die.. Imagine if you stop seeing death as bad.. Why should you live then?. From the POV of the universe itself its not that ITS ALL GOOD. The universe doesn't know good or bad. There is no such thing as good or bad except inside your skull (thoughts). The universe doesn't reject or accept itself. Again these are your human qualities being projected into impersonal beingness. From the view point of being.. Everything is just what it is. It's not love it's not good its not bad it's not anything . But that's only available when you recognize yourself as being itself. If you recognize yourself as a person which you do.. As a poor little Me that needs to survive in the world.. Then you know love and hate.. Good and bad. From your pov it will never be the case.. As in your living perspective...that all is love(because if all is love then you love death then why should life be preferred from death)? .. And if you do recognize yourself as beingness itself there is no longer anything to say about yourself (love or not love) because you just are the ultimate reality as you are and that's it.

I will follow up quickly to confirm that just this type of psychologically relational aspect is exhibited appropriately in ordinary enlightening BDSM scenes as well, simply because one's adaption to conditioned circumstances is the natural course regardless of situational characteristics. Quoting the last sentence of the commentary: "Preordained" is a relative term alluding to prior illumination of the psychological apparatus of the being that is going to die. Where the the rational function of conscious knowledge is subject to gradual refinement by concentration and insight, one's "prior illumination" is inversely effective to the degree one has dispensed with pattern-consciousness in meeting the demands of everyday ordinary situations. In other words, as one's gradual self-refinement results in less pattern-consciousness arising as psychological impacts (in the face of karmic stimulus), to that degree, conscious knowledge is subsumed as real illumination (objective, impersonal knowledge of accord in reality), which must naturally be "prior" to be an actualized functionality in terms of spiritually adaptive enlightening activity. The preceding paragraph is a long-winded description of psychological (rational) activity and nonpsychological (spiritual) efficacy transforming in seamless accord due to gradual practice entering reality. The reason accord is seamless is because mind is one. Delusion and enlightenment are the same mind. Delusion is all there is to work with in terms of Creation. There is no other mind. There is no other enlightenment. Enlightenment is seeing reality without habitual psychological reference to the person. Self-reifying consciousness sees the same reality, but its perspective is delusional, and therefore karmically bound to the being that sees the person as "having" absolute identity, in terms of individual conscious projections. It's not that individual conscious projection doesn't exist, if that's what the person is habituated to. If a person doesn't know that there is no such person in reality (in terms of absolute nature), karma is the result and delusion is the norm. Enlightening being's function perceiving essence (potential) void of personal identity, obviously isn't the person, whereas the psychological apparatus is the person's conditioned function. Both functions are accessible and naturally balanced without habitual pattern-consciousness in those who have recognized the basic sanity all beings are born with. Self-refinement is the endless gradual path recognizing and actualizing inherent enlightening qualities by virtue of the sane energy people are born with. As such, entry into inconceivable reality is fathomless; mystery upon mystery. ed note: typo; add quote and following three paragraphs

The OP concluded with: The whole premise for this thread is in these lines. The following is a line by line commentary of the seminal text: Presence of independent means and natural urgency guide one’s healthy and effective gratification of intent in the course of situational evolution. The first line seems to me to be clearly self-evident. This is the very picture of sane activity in the course of everyday ordinary intercourse. Serving the integrity of one’s subtle potential underlies the timing and rate of advance and withdrawal in mutual exchanges of personality dynamics. The second line gets a bit deeper in that one's rational function must naturally be preordained in terms of its adherence to the integrity of one's subtle potential. It is, actually, but due to conditioning, this means the individual must become subtly aware of potential, a priori, in order to respond appropriately in terms of seeing situational timing objectively, without bias or inclination, in advancing and withdrawing attention according to relationship dynamics. Serving the integrity of (one's) potential has nothing to do with personal gratification. One doesn't own potential. Potential is not relative to the person. It is one's very situational milieu of being. Yet potential is not beholden to either the creative nor the absolute, as potential is the working essence of their non-differentiation. Gratification of mutual exchanges in terms of personality dynamics, per se, is relative to the situational potential based on reality, not the person. "The person" is relative to self and other, which is properly a variable expression of potential (karmic, if you will), and is therefore not beyond the created aspect. Potential is not created. Potential is the essence of the primal organization before the dichotomy of the two things (duality) before they fall into the creative sphere, yet comprising the the sphere of reality, which is neither creation nor absolute. This introduces the buddhist and taoist terms, Suchness and Complete Reality. The consensual repose of dominance toward the submissive is the device employed by independent means and natural urgency to effect the balance of one’s intent in meeting the measure of power inherent in creative cycles. This line illustrates one's enlightening function inherent in one's created dual nature in terms of relative situational rank. In terms of the person, this is called Sameness within Differentiation. Relative difference is not absolute. In terms of potential, relative difference simply is— it has no intrinsic value outside of conventional modes of karmic activity. Enlightening response operates transcendentally beyond convention (not that anyone might notice). The balance of one's intent is what drives enlightening activity, which is the sane energy you were born with. Just this is impersonal accord with reality. Again, this is not a reference to personal gratification. Consensual repose of dominance toward the submissive is simply the representation of undifferentiated flux, ever-adjusting and spontaneously balancing in pure equipoise. Consensual repose being the device employed by independent means and natural urgency is selflessly adaptive response in mutual accord. The measure of power inherent in creative cycles refers to being able to see reality, that is, potential, which is the essence of creation transcendently inherent in endless karmic cycles of birth and death. So in harmonizing integral mutual situational potential, dominance is expressed in accord with submissive intent by adaptivity to the creative. This line recaps the aspect of one's inherent enlightening function in terms of impersonal subtle spiritual adaption to karmic evolution. This is "meeting creation with potential" without relying on one's personal power. "One's personal power" refers to psychologically reified pattern-consciousness projecting desire, craving, aggression, and in general, a tendency to assume ascendancy over others as a matter of course. Situational dynamics of advance and withdrawal influencing the timing and rates of exchange defining the situation decide the balance of potency and decline throughout the natural cycle of its transformative exigencies. This is "finding out what happened in the end." As per one's selfless adaptivity meeting the creative in terms of its karmic momentum by virtue of advancing illumination in the beginning of yang and withdrawing its potential in the yin convergence, whereby the full expression of each created cycle is allowed to flourish and decline naturally without compulsive behavior (on one's part) influencing outcomes. Otherwise, how would one find out what happened in terms of potential? It is possible by mutual accord in reality that the submissive exacts its release if virtuously exerted dominance absorbs their factors of potential. In transcending endless cycles of yin and yang, unrefined potential is absorbed as a matter of course without effort or coercion. How would one even begin to do so? Doing so is the norm for karmically bound psychological momentum (action in thought, deed and unconscious adherence to creation) by ordinary people's pattern-consciousness. It is by not conceiving self-referencing (relative) adherence to creation that one accords with the real while in the midst of conditioned karmic momentum. The submissive, in this context, is created situationally karmic (conditioned) energy in its naturally responsive accord with real knowledge (knowledge of potential), in which dominance (nonpsychological awareness), is advanced, in terms of gradual practice. As I have said often enough, seeing is itself the transformative agency. Seeing is itself "advancing" the fire in terms of the alchemic operation. Spiritual alchemy is not accomplished in any strict sense of doing. When adepts see potential, they see it as essence. Essence is the nature of karmic energy; not difference. Ordinary people see karma as differentiated energy, which is why ordinary people are subject to birth and death. In seeing karma as essence, one does not go along with creation and transcends its rounds of birth and death. Ordinary people see energy, whereas alchemists see potential. Seeing potential "frees" it from its situational karmic matrix, in that enlightening beings don't do anything with potential— much less karmic energy. This goes back to the beginning of this section, where "one's (refined) rational function (conscious knowledge) must naturally be preordained in terms of its adherence to the integrity of one's subtle potential" (real knowledge). ed note: add line below quoted text; typo 3rd paragraph; radically change last paragraph

No "one" exists. Ultimate reality is indescribable impersonal ever-unknown ever-known. Ever-changing ever-present . all dualities must collapse. You me. Alone together. It isn't anything you think it is.. It just is. . The best word to describe it is nothing . Because it confuses the fuck out of your mind. You don't know what to do with nothing. You don't know what it means. And that's precisely what Is needed. Complete not knowing. Absolutely not knowing. And when you can't not know more because you are absolutely not knowing.. Then you can't go further.. All the sudden the circle is complete. You end up with actual knowledge. Of your being. Knowledge dissolving into being. Into nothing . The mind is trying to grasp.. The mind is always missing the whole fucking "point".

Can we make desire harmonious by being considerate and empathetic towards others and ourselves? No, not at the personal stage which has a too low level of complexity to achieve that. To put it more simply, at the personal stage we lack the capability to function in harmony with the whole of society and nature. What we can do at the personal stage is to recognize the limitation of personal desire and be open to the possibility that impersonal development will result in harmonious desire. And even if we don't yet know how that works, by questioning desire at the personal stage, as done in Buddhism, there is an opening up of being receptive to allowing conflict-ridden desire to be replaced by harmonious desire.

? Getting there means getting here. But i get you. Wink wink, we're going to get there some day! I trust the Universe. Everything will happen as it must. All I can do is be here. I'm not enlightened. The real part of reality is formless. Forms are illusory, the one writing t you is a form which acknowledges publicly it's illusory nature. Only God, the impersonal self, is real. I cannot say anything more true.

It helps to be a well adjusted person in order to advance up the spiral dynamics stages. If you are wired to be an introvert that doesn't want to socialize and even has an aversion towards people or negative feelings towards them, that comes from childhood, so "faking" it in this manner will wire your own brain to crave socializing more, and thus over time can make you a happier, more well adjusted person. Learning to socialize is like learning any new skill... it takes time and repetition to wire it into your subconscious mind and make it come natural to you. I always think of that line from the movie "Avatar" when I want to learn a new skill, where he talks about "it's like field stripping a weapon, repetition." A person must get over their negativity towards people if they want to grow, period. There's no quick fix around that. That phrase "fake it until you make it" has some merit. You don't necessarily have to be an extrovert, but if you have any hangup towards people whatsoever it must be addressed in some manner. The concept of "being yourself" ... well personality is actually a very impersonal aspect of one's being... I prefer to think of it as something I can hack and change to suit my goals....

It's just a story. The documentary brilliantly tells it for the purpose of entertainment. It was a reaction of personalities and circumstances with that conservative town in Oregon, but ultimately as impersonal and random as the formation of the universe itself. Both the town, the US government officials, Osho and Sheela and the people the community attracted were all trying to heal themselves, mutually attracting and reacting into the characters they played at the time of it, among all those crazy circumstances. The problem with spiritual communities is that they often start with the assumption that there are spiritual people and not spiritual people.

you speak the truth but still you are not waking up you are always awake. If you dont take yourself to be the appearances, but that space you are so masterfully referring to, then you are not waking up. On second read, you are saying something wrong imo.. The state of nothingness is the same as the state of empty awareness. It's not awareness happening in nothingness. There is no such thing beyond awareness. In deep sleep this is what it's like to be empty awareness, without objects. It's not the experience of nothingness without awareness. If you were not aware, how do you know you were in deep sleep? Bro stop doing this here, you aint waking up nobody ever wakes up. If truth is found you will know you're not waking up. The Truth is impersonal. Stop grasping

Write out a letter to her saying everything you want to say. Cry, scream, swear. Burn it. Or send it if you have to, but probably not. It's likely that there are a few things you write that you might want to actually say or write to her latter. I have a theory that the people who cause us the most pain are the ones who we mutually grow from the most or the fastest. It's like we made some sort of agreement before we came here that we'd help each other align to love in a powerful, dramatic way. If you can't live with em' and can't live without em' you know life is calling you to grow and change. But here's the thing, you have to be willing to communicate and have difficult conversations. It also helps to ask, what do you really want from your mother? What do you really want the relationship to be? Is it possible that while on the surface it may not look ANYTHING like that, that the undercurrent of love is still always there, unbroken? Can you tap into that love that is impersonal and prior to everything else?

This thread, or this single post, as most of my topics remain, is a little different than others in that it has an inordinate number of cultural and technical references relying heavily and almost exclusively on the readers' familiarity with the Chinese buddhist lexicon throughout a prolonged period of various cultural shifts taking place in its long history between A.D. 500 and the 1800s. Of course, there are ancient taoist references to contend with as well. My apologies. I wrote this on four petite serviettes the other day at my café in town… there was one left. Five Serviettes Simply awakening is the selfless awakening to buddha-mind beyond the grasping mentality. It is knowledge of non-being’s open awareness constituting impersonal nonoriginated unification and clarification of the singular intent before the first thought. There are people who just fall into this without any intention of doing so as a result of a long-nurtured countenance of open sincerity. "Falling into this" is harmony with the Constant, after which It is then possible to return and share oneself fully. In the mean-time, they see their own unified mind as the fulfillment of its own desire. Since it is not oneself, not other~ unified mind being the fulfillment of its own desire is the meaning of taking the forward step with open hands meeting situations as arrow-points meet, with no remainder. Unity of primally open “intellect” is the properly incipient nature of one’s perpetually fulfilled desire. “Intellect” is the capacity for fulfillment where there is nothing to fill~ just openness. The attainment is one’s penetrating reversion as the Source. The application of the term “intellect” is the substance of Mind’s open serene clear light. Mind’s function is its intent: ever sensitive and effective. Sincere intent is Mind’s expression of oneself’s impersonal unity functioning through selfless desire passing through situations without lingering, without initiating. The expression of the function is in terms of harmony— selfless harmony~ adapting impersonally and effectively to situations without sticking to appearances; neither seeking praise nor avoiding censure. Affinity is the impersonal knowledge of harmony in terms of the Constant. It is not that there is anything to know… one's affinity is just the nature of the Constant, which is the application of an angelic harmony that can kill a buddha when it sees a buddha. It cuts right through in an instant with a precision that is equal to its appropriateness in terms of one’s inconceivable matching of potential to conditions which has never admitted one’s own strength. Not admitting one’s own strength that can kill a buddha is the Celestial in action. Its power is due to the clarity of the Constant being the nature of Mind. In one’s own gradual refinement, clarity being the nature of mind, it follows that its clarification is the effective harmony of the heaven and earth of the immaterial body of awareness whose heart is the Center. The Constant is the nature of this Center of open awareness being Mind mastering energy. This is not a matter of energy-work. It is not even energy being other than Mind. It is a description of the mystical source of the impulse of one’s own life, immaterial beyond location. Mind mastering energy being the Center having no location is the real totality of unity. Though it has no location, it is not apart from your pointed nose. There it is! Yet how could it be or have a place? Just this primordial Space with no inside or outside is not beyond this instant occasion. Ignorance of the Constant is energy mastering mind; when conditioned yang peaks, it wanes, and evolution inexorably goes along with a cycle of creation, which is bound to birth and death. The 55th chapter of the Tao te Ching concludes:

Ime, people are much less defensive when the person being evaluated is not them, however it is less direct. For example, I teach college students SD - we recently covered stage blue and discussed all sorts of different stage blue mentalities and students gave presentations of kkk, the amish, boy scouts, military etc. It's much easier for them to take a meta view when they are the observer. If I pointed at a student and said "OK, now let's take a look at YOUR blue level traits and views" - that is much more threatening. Yet observing others is often diluted. I have to remind the students that they may get some insight from observing others. As we observe Blue in others, do we have some in ourselves? What are the healthy and unhealthy aspects? What do we need to work on? It's a very different dynamic when pointing out one's self to them. I'm not very skillful in this area - I would make an awful psychologist. Quite often, I speak impersonally - that is great when we are doing an impersonal observation about how the mind of a tribal person works. I can put up a video of a racist person and say "Notice how his mind is structured and how he is defending certain views" - yet it s very different when I say "Notice how YOUR mind does xyz". People often take this personally - and I'm not very skilled at it. Look how many people I piss off on the forum when I say "Notice how the mind just did xyz". People don't like it. I don't know. I can tell when someone has been certain places. I've been to some of those places, yet not all. I'm happy to speak common language with you, yet I can't speak a language with you that you know not exists. It's important one realizes their limitation. Don't speak on a language you don't know exists as if you know. That is misleading to those trying to learn the language. If you have no interest in learning the language, that's fine - yet don't interfere with those on the forum learning it.

In terms of situational evolution, you know how it is— you just find yourself situated, as it is. There's nothing special in that regard. It's natural. When you find the road naturally empty, creation acts in concert. Settling into situations, one simply waits to find out what happened. The practice of finding out what happened in the end is the unbending intent of subtle awareness pervading thoroughgoing open clarity of impersonal observation. One simply shares oneself openly in selfless adaption. Waiting in stillness, one observes Return. Ordinarily, people forget what they're doing, and begin going along unawares. The 16th chapter of the Tao te Chings says: "East Mountain walking on water" is indicating that "neither yin nor yang" is impersonal function within movement and stillness. So simply waiting for something to happen isn't a matter of passive stillness while opportunistically awaiting inevitability's fulfillment (or else assuming personal ascendancy over others in moving along towards somewhere more important). This neither movement nor stillness is the living bestowal of one's inherent potential in the midst of affairs. This waiting is uncontrived, sincerely open vulnerability. Enlightening being isn't passive. It isn't a matter of acting either. Some people throw around the term wu wei as if it is some other thing. Such subtle radiating presence IS you. Wu wei is East Mountain walks on water. But adepts aren't metaphors, so they swim in Suchness. Wu wei isn't a thing, nor is it an event. It is a reference to the essential character of one's function of enlightening being. This is not some other reality. It is the aware totality of oneself, unborn; in perpetuity before the first thought. It is spontaneous selfless response: adapting in full knowledge of potential by not conceiving complacent opportunism in everyday ordinary situations. This virtue is a direct result and further development of not following personal dialog unawares (talking to yourself). Unconscious mental rumination is the habitual cultivation of delusion in terms of selfish karmic psychological momentum. Carrying out one's unbending intent of subtle 24/7 observation of mind is the cultivation of enlightening qualities. This is practical application of authentic teaching in terms of establishing the foundation of enlightening practice. All self-refining activity entering into inconceivability develops from this foundation, as well as advanced practice employing use of the Mysterious Female. As mentioned in the previous post, watching over the task and function of the aperture of the Mysterious Female, one witnesses changes. In recognizing changes, one does not go along with creation. So selfless adaption isn't a matter of accommodating phenomena, it is directly responding to the time by virtue of seeing potential. Creation is already one's self, but response to other is why the term sameness within difference is spoken of in terms of Suchness. The buddhist term, sameness within difference, is an analytical reference warming up to the real deal in the teaching of Suchness. Karma needs time, so adepts excel in waiting. Don Juan Matus said that warriors have only two advantages over ordinary people in their affair with Power: will and patience. Enlightening beings respond to the time and so they naturally absorb potential from within the conditioned. The temporal is inherently absolute, so in responding to the time, enlightening beings respond to situations effectively by an abstraction of perceptivity in that they see through phenomena without denying its characteristics to aid nonpsychological evolution without going along with created cycles of karmic momentum. Seeing this is the functioning of Suchness as it is. Those partaking of ineffable reality do so by virtue of seeing alone. So in partaking of reality, real humans go in reverse, opposite the flow of creation. This is all there is to turning the light around spoken of in The Secret of the Golden Flower. This is the meaning of the saying, "It is as easy as turning over your hand". ed note: typo in line one; add quote after 2nd paragraph; change 4th paragraph; add to 6th

With the assistance of Awayfarer (a windfall of sorts, from my perspective), some preliminary aspects of Taoist alchemy have been broached. Perhaps I should segue into the topic of the Mysterious Female and the Valley Spirit. The Tao te Ching is perhaps the only book in which most readers will have ever read the words Mysterious Female and Valley Spirit in print. The terms represent that which is of monumental significance in the capacities and expression of enlightening being by adepts of spiritual alchemy. Those who know the valley spirit by having penetrated the immaterial aperture of the mysterious female have no need of specific sexual identities in terms of the personality (self and other). The aperture of the mysterious female is immaterial; it has no location. Penetrating this, one sees the valley spirit in its singularity; a legacy void of substance and boundary. The Tao te Ching calls it gossamer, as such, continually, on the brink of existence. How does one describe that which has no location? The puzzle is without remainder, yet is only entertained by the doubts of the human mentality. The valley spirit is where potential is activated; where change originates. The mysterious female (in terms of the name) is metaphoric. Mystery is movement: yang. Female is stillness: yin. Being neither yin nor yang, standing in equipoise ready by the gate and door of the Mysterious Female, observe life and death (in terms of situational evolution). This is knowing the pivot of change. So it is not only in mystical experience. When one can be still, one can witness return in everyday ordinary cycles of yin and yang. This is seeing the arising of potential. Seeing, in either case, doesn't use the senses, organs, or intellectual functions of the person. Seeing this is immediate impersonal knowledge. No one knows. When one sees the Mysterious Female, one attains the power of the unchanging or causeless Center. Therefore, one observing the pivot of stillness and movement is not subject to changing Change. This is because the Mysterious Female is the locus of change where the physical and psychological elements do not adhere. It is where change originates, so this is where adepts await the time to steal potential at its upwelling incipient source. The saying goes, "Refine the self and await the time." By effective self-refinement, one is naturally situated to take over creation and steal its potential. Remember, this aperture is neither an aperture nor does it have a location. The Mysterious Female is real. It is the site of all wonders. When you actually see the the Mysterious Female and attain the pivot of creation, you attain it forever. When you stand ready by the gate and door of the aperture of the Mysterious Female, and see worldly elements being pulled through the inconceivable aperture by the self-centered gravity of collectively ignorant momenta, and see its projection by that karmic inertial momentum dissolve into space, it's kind of sad, in a way. But you're not~ hahahahhaaa❤!! The task is the "door". The gate is the opening and closing of the Mysterious Female. In terms of the task of self-refining adaption to conditions, The Art of War states that victory is up to the enemy and that one must choose the ground of death in order to live. Self-refinement is like finding the place of victory, and awaiting the enemy to fulfill its fate. You don't know what that is, but you know where it will be when you see it. The analogy is imperfect, in terms of positing "enemy" as the conditional asset of the natural arising of killing energy, because there is no punitive or prejudicial relationship to be had in adapting to others' conditioned self-serving intents and purposes in this context. It is another reference to the device of "Host and Guest" mentioned previously. It is one's bid with Power by virtue of enlightening subtle adaption to creation. Adepts have the knowledge of the gate and door of the Mysterious Female and await the inevitable's arrival. The pivot of awareness is where one awaits inevitability at the gate and door of the Mysterious Female at the time of the Yin Convergence, when yang culminates and the killing energy of yin arises. This is the inevitable. Like clockwork, as you wait at the "gate" at the right time, you show the inevitable the "door". When you show it the door, it dissolves, as it were, and the aperture revolves; opening and closing. "One yang, one yin; one opening, one closing: therein is change." This is the fate of the changeable. "Showing it the door" is not going along with it. Karma dissolves and you somehow stand aloof with potential intact. This is inconceivable accord in reality. It's just the way it is, and no one knows why. Here are two terms not customarily used: inner and outer Mysterious Female. This from Thomas Cleary's notes to his translation of ancient alchemic poems of female adepts in Immortal Sisters — Secret Teachings of Taoist Women. 1989, North Atlantic Books ed note: change sexual identity to sexual identities, and add next two sentences in 5th paragraph; change 2nd sentence in paragraph 7; add to 8th paragraph; typo in 9th; change "aspect" to "asset", add "…in adapting to others' conditioned self-serving intents and purposes…" in 10th; collapse bottom quote window; italicize "Immortal Sisters…" in last sentence

Nonduality teacher Roger Castillo and other spiritual teachers have said that anger can arise as a biological reaction even in the enlightened state. Then how can I claim that anger is a sign of the personal stage of development and that the transpersonal stage is free from anger? Because as I discovered and mentioned earlier there is a difference between spiritual enlightenment and the transpersonal stage. As Ken Wilber has pointed out, there can be spiritual enlightenment at different levels of personal development. So when anger arises and a biological reaction, then that's because the person is at the personal stage of development, even when enlightened. At the transpersonal stage anger is only an additional expression, not something fundamental to the stage. So expressions of anger can appear even at the transpersonal stage, not as an instinctual biological reaction since there is harmony but as reactions to particular situations for impersonal reasons.

Awayfarer commented above: Momentum is due to mental conception, I did not say momentum is inconceivable. That which is conceivable is anything and everything that can be named. Eternity is conceivable in that it is another name for the endless multiplicity of creation and its multifarious incremental processes. The opening chapter of the Tao te Ching states that the (true) Way cannot be named. I have to admit that it does say such an unnamable way is eternal, but that is a translation issue. In technical terms, I say the eternal is relative to karma, existence, creation and its incremental aspect, whereas the inconceivable (Way) is Unborn, uncreated aware nonbeing; that is, the source of the essence of (potential) reality before it has fallen into the Creative. Uncreated cannot be a thing, and since the Creative aspect is attributable to its inconceivable nature, the existence of existence is spoken of by authentic teaching as essentially illusion. In terms of alchemic practice, one is cautioned to only work with what is unseen and to not work with what can be seen. This means spiritual transformation is accomplished by working with essence (the unborn) directly. If one works with energy (created), one will necessarily end up with accomplishment relative to the creative. The analogous phrase is: as above, so below. The inconceivable is unknowable (in terms of rational mentation). In terms of nonpsychological awareness, the inconceivable can be seen, in that knowledge is immediate. Thought processes relative to the personality are not applicable, therefore such knowledge is not relative to the person. That's why I say enlightening activity isn't the person— in addition, the working definition of enlightening response is that which is carried out in the midst of ordinary affairs without relying on one's own power. That's what makes such response a matter of spiritual adaption. Open clarity is the nature of the human mentality when its habit energy ceases. When habit energy comprising the human mentality ceases all at once, mind is as it was of yore: open, clear, untrammeled, sensitive, effective, un-perturbable. There are no two minds. The inconceivable is your own unborn mind right now in that it is not within the realm of rationalism. It is your own mind right now void of psychological patterning and self-reifying thoughts; in other words, it is void of habit energy. This is the meaning of the phrase, Mind is one. Conditioning is what one aims to get rid of in the endless process of self refinement. What is refined? The errant human mentality. When patterning is eradicated, the capacity of rationalism is left intact— only the habitual use of rational self-reifying pattern-awareness is absent. So the activation of one's innate enlightening being is the correlative absence of reliance on the personality's false identity. Without that crutch, ego is no longer needlessly active and nonpsychological awareness is ably sufficient to adapt spiritually (nonpsychologically) to conditional situations inconceivably, with the aid of the objective impersonal mode of rationalism. This is the meaning of spiritual adaption, in terms of self-refining activity: one's enlightening function is by virtue of spiritual and physical sublimation; the gradual process of going through endless situational transformations, whereby one enters the Tao in reality. This is not a reference to sudden enlightenment. So there is no intrinsic meaning to reality, conditioned or otherwise. It is what it is, and no one knows why. Either one gradually builds upon conditioned qualities, or one gradually builds upon enlightening qualities. Entering the mystery of mysteries is the option for those with the audacity and the will to discover human beings' innate enlightening function through the long process of self-refinement. Spiritual alchemy is the taoist name for a tradition effecting a range of teaching devices describing various aspects of the specific process in terms of phenomenal and inconceivable elements. The process itself is natural. No one invented it. Reality's innate enlightening quality is evidence of our inconceivable nature. Prior illuminates of all traditions have left the secret behind for those with the wherewithal to approach and apply the source of enlightenment in the midst of delusion by virtue of delusion due to the fact that our true identity being pure awareness is unified selfless consciousness. How wonderful is that! ed note: add 2nd and 3rd paragraph; typo 2nd paragraph

Awayfarer wrote: I will get to true spontaneity at some point, but to respond to what you said at the end of your post most definitely… Yes!! Failing to conceive is absolutely key. Taoism calls it "forgetting thoughts and feelings, preserving the fundamental." Buddhism calls this liberation. The punchline of the famous dialog between the Emperor of China and Bodhidharma is when the emperor (finally) asks, "Who is talking to me?" "Don't know.", is Bodhidharma's reply. The Emperor asked who, in terms of self and other. Bodhidharma's reply was likewise twofold, in terms of the personal, relative perspective, as well as in terms of absolute nature. In terms of the relative "who", Bodhidarma's response was a stern, but veiled rebuke face to face with the Emperor of China: he said, "Don't know.", as in don't conceive who in terms of self and other, when the context is enlightenment. Why? Because Enlightenment is already your own (impersonal selfless) mind right now. Bodhidharma might as well have responded to the Emperor's question (of who?), by saying, "Who wants to know.", which might be fine in some instances, but not this one. Or, in other words, "Do you know your own mind?" In certain contexts that might be taken to mean, "Are you crazy?" —Which is precisely what one does NOT say to an Emperor anywhere on this planet. But such a remark is as perfectly apropos in that conversation of long ago as it is in referencing the conditioned human mental processes today, because conditioned thought patterning (psychological momentum reifying the false identity of the conditioned personality of the being that is going to die) is the working definition of mental illness: mental dis-ease. That's why Buddhism's definition of liberation as being free of conceiving (thoughts) is the nature of enlightenment itself, as well as the personal power to avail oneself of the capacity to do so and be such a one to have impersonally ascertained experience oneself as the knowledge of pure awareness: the knowledge of no thing. There is no thing. There is nothing to know: don't know!, he said. Bodhidharma told the Emperor of China to "Stop it!" Bodhidharma left the Emperor immediately. Smart man. So the nature of enlightenment is what bodhidharma was referring to as well. In the context of his response to the Emperor, he said, "Don't know." He was speaking for himself as well, and in this aspect his response was again twofold in expressing both the absolute within the conditional as well as the absolute in itself. "Don't know" in terms of the absolute within the conditional is bodhidharma admitting that there is no such one to know nor is there such a one knowing (who). In terms of the Absolute exclusive of the conditional, his response is the open expression of enlightening accord in Reality, such that there is no who to speak of and no who speaking (to the Emperor). Bodhidharma didn't say "I don't know." He simply said, "Don't know." Such a terse and unspeakably brilliant response to anyone, much less while being on the spot with the Emperor of China who perhaps was the most powerful person on the planet at that time, could not have been planned. This case in point is a fortuitous example of blatant spontaneous subtle spiritual adaption getting one's ass out of a dilemma of monumental proportions. Yet not getting executed was not Bodhidharma's motive. Enlightened response has no motive. The Emperor was pissed— his was not a trick question. The Emperor simply didn't understand what Bodhidharma was talking about (and he knew as much). But what the Emperor didn't know was that Bodhidharma was giving the interview. Bodhidharma had called on the Emperor to ascertain his spiritual evolvement to see if sponsorship of authentic teaching in China 2000 years ago was possible. Who knew? The Emperor wasn't, so the Emperor didn't, so mr B. Dharma had to get the hell out of Dodge and made haste in a southerly direction for quite some time. Good thing too. At the time, Taoism had been established in China for millennia (since before China had been a glimmer in any emperors' eye), but Bodhidharma's high-altitude Kashmiri brand of Mind Only buddhism was just what effective (or not) taoist teaching and its esoteric/elitist traditions needed: a fire under its butt. By 1100~1300 AD, the Quantzhen (taoist) tradition had not only incorporated buddhist methods effectively, it was openly espousing the validity of the three main Chinese spiritual traditions of the era (buddhism, taoism and Confucianism) as direct expressions of the Source of all religion: which had long been expressed (by taoism) as Tao, or the Way; the way which cannot be named. Transcendent teaching is not religion, nor does it characterize itself in terms of a perpetuation of any specific teaching tradition. The source being none other than anyone's and everyone's true identity: impersonal, sellflessly awake, uncreated. In terms of transcendent teaching being the source of religion, the fact is that Mind is itself the true progenitor of enlightening being and its practical expression coming from within the karmic matrix of the Creative, in that there are no two minds: Mind is one. ed note: add "The punchline…" to 3rd paragraph; add the word "not" in 1st sentence of 8th paragraph