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I'm not interested in impossible. You are overestimating my lifes path. I am not gonna become Buddha or a yogi in this life. In another life I will if there is such a thing. This life has to come to an end, though. It is hard and it got too hard for me to deal with! So please hear my wishes better. I do not wish to become a yoga practicionaire because of my life that got real bad. I only wish for assisted suicide that is safe, painless and legal. Netherlands has it legal if it is assisted by a doctor I guess. How can we get me there and help me get a doctor for this asap? In another life we can talk about yoga and stuff. This life is too bad and poor to be talking about that stuff.

This is true unfortunately yet this is only true to the psychopath. To an average teenager who is a "I wanna be tate so bad," if he decides to sell drugs for money and join a gang, he will be in enormous trouble, a nightmare in prison, losing his family and his entire life turned upside down and he might suicide not being able to handle it, he will lose his mind. To the average Joe, the machinations of a psychopath is like a child playing with acid, he will hurt himself really badly and not have the mental in-affectedness or psychopathic aptitude to deal with the loss and brutality. That's where Tate's line of thinking gets into the snakepit territory, good only for Tate, nightmare for others.

Assisted suicide is honoring of life, but I understand partially that you can't inform me about this. It is okay. Where can I seek for the info? I guess by going to netherlands directly. But that is kind of hard. I also have energy problems and can barely write this here.

This is not what this forum is for. No one here is going to help you with this information. If you want help feeling better and honouring your life that’s what the forum is for in part. But, if you are considering assisted suicide you need to seek out that information elsewhere. We are here promoting the honouring of life.

@Leo Gura yeah but do you think not giving any solution, worse criminalizing pedophilia is actually better ? at the end of the day pedophiles aren't gonna sit around and wait for permission their whole life, they're just gonna do what it takes to satisfy their sexual needs. the thing with sexuality is that it's literally impossible to suppress, sooner or later, it will pop out in uglier ways. if i was only attracted to children, i'll go and rape, and i won't give a fuck about the ethics. i'm not gonna sit there for decades without doing anything about it. that's the reality, when humans can't have their most central needs met in an ethical way, they'll meet them in a criminal way. just look at human history. you're telling dozens of millions of people to just rape or suicide.

Oh, somebody with a working spiritual compass, and a heart to actually listen to it. Bon voyage and all the best! That is now the most likely path. Writing about ones own (Alien) insanity, and rolling out the path to that to an audience dragged by google & Co. to this place (many with psychological problems), and having a paywall as entry criteria. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? Each suicide will haunt him in the afterlife & next lifes when the emotional suffering & energies caused by it are no longer shielded from him, like in this earth realm. Infinite Intelligent Reality? Oh yes, perfectly sufficient intelligent enough to handle back that Karma & suffering caused, as learning experience for the soul. Didn't see these mechanism on his trips? Many many others have, in minute detail. Sure, all imagined. But that won't help then. Hell is also only just imagined, but appears very very real while having the resulting hellish bad-Karma nightmare-dream. You Will Know Them by Their Fruits 15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them. Matthew 7:15-20 So it seems that Spirit is not tired playing its game, and didn't choose this case here to be an example of "psychedelics-beneficically and wisely used in an integrated way", but instead a showcase-example of "what can go wrong rolling out an extreme psychedelic protocoll to an unscreened, uncoached and unqualified audience". Water by the River

Update: I wrote out a list of things that make me depressed. The loss of my sexual innocence is at the top of the list. I have been clinging to This identity since the incident from when I was six. It was undermined with masturbation and pornography later on. The loss of sexual innocence has more to do with the issue than the shame of being a man. My desire to become a woman was addressed and is now fading. I have been watching parts of how to get laid. I was open minded for a bit, but then experienced ego backlash. That is when this desire to become a woman came up. Sorry if I seem kind of jumpy. Everything I put on this forum is a discussion of things that have bothered me for a while. It is all coming up at once and I am changing fast. My mind is becoming more peaceful, so this is working. Suicide is starting to seem preposterous. The most important insight is that me trying to love myself stands in the way of me loving myself. I believed that I needed truth to love myself because I otherwise love illusions. I was trying not to be self deceived, but I am now trying to flip what I have been doing. I'm trying to let go of this belief that I am morally obligated to love myself based on who I truly am. I don't have to love myself. Believing I have to love myself makes me hate myself. It is paradoxical, and it goes against what this site holds. That is love and truth are one. Maybe the fundamental problem is that I confused relative love and truth for absolute love and truth. I also meant who I truly am as an ego, not God. Struggling to love myself therefore made it impossible to love myself because I stood in the way by trying to love myself through forcing truth on myself out of a sense of moral obligation to love myself. I ended up dropping the hammer on myself constantly and brutally. It is finally stopped. I feel present. Of course I still have the list ready for the psychiatrist. There seems to be a happy ending to all of this.

You don't really need euthanasia. You just need information about how to committ suicide in a safe and painless way. Unfortunately that information is kind of hard to get for some because it's censored everywhere, including here.

@ZzzleepingBear I Am Existence (what you call God like if it was divine) I'm trying to escape this bad life but I know suicide will lead me to another form. I'm existing forever and have no choice but face this mess how can you accept that ? It's easy when you're living from a good life perspective but not when you have a life full of suffering and bad stuff happening

I'm seriously considering suicide now. My life had turns meaningless. My life had been put to a stop. I couldn't even have last december and have my last year of being twenty six. I couldn't experience Christmas last year and celebrate the new year like literally everyone else. My life was put to a stop. Without my will. I want to die peacefully. There's nothings much left in my life.

@integral it's coming up again. The feeling that I hate my entire family came up. I could tell them that I have been hiding in my room for so long because I believed them to be degenerate. I am trying to form an emotional connection to others, but when I try what comes up is hatred, depression, and suicide. If I could somehow change myself without telling them, then I guess it would be fine. I'm trying to change like I always have been, but it doesn't work. The reason I don't socialize much us because I don't want others to change me or influence me. I don't trust most people to be high quality people. I have looked down on most other humans my entire life. I look down on myself as well for failing to find a higher purpose that fulfills me in life. I can never be fulfilled with any purpose if depression kills my joy. I'm opening myself up, but it is a hectic process. I'm sorry if I annoy you with the same story. My morals do not apply to today and they cause me a lot of problems. I say I hate myself a lot, but it feels more true to say I hate my family. I probably shouldn't tell them that yet.

there was a time and place when I thought you were my forever or at least my next ten years, but a voice in my heart told me no so I listened and lived in a hellscape of my own making. and a little miracle seeing our old friends made it all come back when I thought I was good. and I hope you hear this, I hope a part of you can hear this. because life’s been tough, yeah it tried to kill me but I’m still here, still dreaming, still doing this human thing wondering how long until I forget. so I took the pain and put it in these words and sounds , took my music and played it for the universe to listen hoping God forgives me for whatever I did to deserve a pain so deep it kills you. not suicide no the hurt literally kills you, died so many times of a broken heart in the last two years or so but shit’s been pretty straight since may. I just pray that you hear it. I know you can hear it. and in case you can’t now I gotta release it.

I read the book. Others on the forum recommend that I apply what I've learned. I have been opening up to my family on a lot of serious issues. so far I have made great progress. There is one last thing I have not told them about. It is about my father. Is it okay to tell my grandma that I'm happy my piece of shit father is dead? She is very sensitive about her son. She takes it as a personal attack when talking about all the horrible things my father did. She needs to understand that she did everything in her power to be a good mother, but her son was beyond her control. Her grand children were hurt deeply because of it. I don't blame her for being a bad person or anything. It is just painful for her to love her son as it is painful for me to love my father. A few things about my father. He was involved in gang violence. He was a drug dealer. He fled the state to avoid paying child support. He committed statutory rape when he impregnated my mother. I am trying the forgiveness exercise on him but am experiencing a lot of intense anger toward myself for being blinded by my unconditional love for my father. My father manipulated me. He preached the bible as if the father son bond was sacred. He wanted me to carry on some grand legacy with the Hamann name rather than holding my mother's last name. It was all fake. He wanted to use me as a pawn against my mother to get out of paying child support. He threatened to disown me if I told mom how he was evading child support. He therefore coerced me into committing a felony because of how he made me swear to secrecy. My feelings toward my father are that I love him even though exploited my love for him to use me as a pawn. It feels easy to love dad but very hard to love myself. I hate myself for loving my father. I judged mom for refusing to evict my step father because of her emotional weakness. I'm angry at myself for having the same emotional weakness that prevented me from sending my father to prison for the rest of his life. I deceived myself easily as I lied for my father. I drew a false equivalence between my father and abusive step father who destroyed the house and beat my mom. My father's side of the family told me that mom's side was the untrustworthy ones and I felt that nobody could be trusted. This played into my father's hands. Furthermore, I felt that family values were meaningless. I applied it to my whole family, causing me to feel depressed. I hate myself for defending my father in a way that hurt the rest of my family. I can forgive myself for doing everything in my power to be good. I still need time. Is it okay to be this honest with my grandma? My sisters were against it. They told me that I am too honest and I need to hold the truth back. They told me that I may have caused a man to commit suicide when I told him "I am not optimistic about your future, but you don't deserve to suffer."

just try it out. I know someone with fibromyalgie, ADHD; heavy depression, suicide thoughts, diagnosed psychosis, daily panic attacks, weekly migraine attack and social anxiety (not leaving home for month) who tried psychedelics many times during this dark phase, even high doses. It all went well, after two years of using heavy psychedelics (around 50-100 trips with all kind of drugs include 5 meo, ketamin, mdma) the one is almost healed from any of these issues. I need to add the one was not on any pharmaceutical drugs like antidepressants and had high spiritual intelligence. Also all trips were with a trip sitter (me). So security was always there

These past few months I’ve gone through a pretty bad life crisis. I feel stuck, lost, and hopeless. I am questioning everything and it has gotten too a point where it is debilitating and taking away from every other aspect of my life. Everything is falling apart and I feel hopeless. Reality seems so scary right now. And I don’t know what to do other then rant about my problems and hope someone can at least offer some guidance or perspective. [Originally, this post was a long a** rant that I spent about 15 mins just writing. It was messy and very chaotic, so I took the paint points of the rant and made a bullet-point summary.] Homeschooling Trauma No social life / friends Bad social anxiety Cheating throughout online school, and forgetting the things I did learn and fear of lack of essential and necessary education before entering college. Life is bleak and others pity me FOMO on teenage / HS experiences Existential Crisis Based on Nihilism Fear of death Fear of wasted time / further wasting time and not spending it correctly, not making use of every moment. And not knowing how or why to even spend it correctly. My existence feels futile and mundane but also confusing without meaning, it all feels meaningless Fear of dying without knowing everything there is too know about everything Feeling insignificant and useless in a literal and existential way Afraid I cannot go back to how I was mentally and physically with these realizations. I feel doomed. I can't continue with regular life anymore, I keep thinking about how it all doesn't matter and how I won't possibly solve all these issues and that I'm just living a distraction. It's all a distraction. All cope. I feel paralyzed. And how can I live knowing how *** up our world is. Mental Health Feeling of depression and suicide. Chronic and debilitating procrastination that has ruined every aspect of life, caused me too go days without doing school work or even basic tasks like showering, and has put me behind in school, my previous goals, basic *** like attending college orientations, changing clothes, sleeping and life in general. Overeating and excessive weight gain Extreme insecurities regarding physical appearance (looks, acne, weight, height), have fallen into the "blackpill" rabbit hole and it's made me very depressed. Loneliness: virgin, friendless, loveless Cases of ghosting from perceived friends that have happened in more then one instance Negative experiences with therapy and doubts about its practical, ethical, and scientific legitimacy. The realization my loved ones may also be struggling just as bad as me Life Crisis Regarding Future (School, Career, Finances, Personal) Fear of going too college because of social anxiety and it being a repeat of high-school loneliness and suffering. Insecurities involving the prestige and price of school as well as major choice not being a good fit, being too hard, and useless Unsure if college is right for me and feel like I am going in blind The desire too play college soccer but the reality of not being recruited and me not realistically making my team due to skill issues, development issues, and the fact my school is a high level team and I barely played in HS. Hopelessness when it comes too dreams I’ve had as a kid (soccer, music, content creation, entrepreneurship) shattering against reality and never coming true. The realization of probability / determinism / luck / insane skill I may not posses in regards too hopes and dreams / unfairness of capitalist system has killed my hope. I will die never accomplish these and any sliver of hope is delusion. But, I cannot live with this notion. It hurts to realize not everything is possible. Fear of being average and never accomplishing remarkable feats. Fears of being doomed to wage slavery and being poor for the rest of my life just like I am now. Afraid I won’t be able to provide for my family and / or follow passions and be a failure in life like I already am. Finding self improvement, goals, and even continuing life itself futile and so confusing with all this hopelessness and uncontrollable factors that seem to not favor me. This is causing me too feel stuck and unsure what my “next steps” are, I’m just living day by day and I am clueless. I want answers.

My family has a history of mental health - including bipolar disorder, depression, and suicide. I have all of these symptoms and have been able to control myself mentally during psychedelic trips. You have to be very conscious of how psychedelics are affecting you mentally and if it appears to not be improving, take a break and move on to another psychedelic at a small dose. You just have to be very selective and mentally prepared. Take small doses, scale up safely, and ensure you are mentally comfortable and of course, not taking medication with certain psychedelics.

You are after the mechanism You don't know what you're asking. You could write a 1000-page paper if you wanted to describe each individual biochem pathway, all the primary, secondary and tertiary messenger molecules that are being activated, all those heat shock proteins, silencing of genes, mTor, AMPK, AKT pathways. You'd die of boredom before making it to page 2, I've tried going down that rabbit hole and it is impossible to understand without an advanced degree in cellular biology Let me try to answer this from another perspective If you look at the human body from the perspective of chronic disease-related mortality, you are basically looking at a cluster of 6 health conditions. 8/10 people in the world will die as a consequence of one of these (in developed countries) Cardiovascular disease (atherosclerosis of the circulatory system + diseases of the heart muscle) Cancer (any cancer that has a potential to become malignant and kill the host) Neurodegenerative disease (dementia, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Lewy -body's dementian etc) Metabolic Disease (Type II diabetes, metabolic syndrome - closely linked to CVD ) Skeletal disease (osteoporosis and mortality related to fractures and subsequent immobiliusation) Suicide where does exrcise come in Exercise reduces the odds of all of these. It slows down the progression (through a gazillion of metabolic pathways), it delays first onset and it protects the body from symptoms and signs . CVD - Exercise reduces the progress of atherosclerosis, reduces deposition of ApoB containig lipoproteins in tunic intima and formaiton of deposit inside the artery. Exercise activates acascade of processes that lead to tissue remodelling, improved vascular flow , improved NO2 production and reduced production of immuno-mediated molecules that can damage the endothelium. Cancer - exercise stimulates immune function, production of T-cells, NK cells and macrophages and so the body is more vigilant and more likely to catch cancer before it spreads. There are millions other ways exercise reduces cancer risk. I'm very uneducated in this part of the anatomy Neurodegenerative disease - exercise has a massive effect on reducing neuroinflammation, it slows down formation of beta amyloid and the destruction of neuronal tissue. It stimulates microglia activation and protects the central nervous system from damage by radical oxidative species, degeneration and loss of function. The exact mechanism is probably as complicated as the body itself. Metabolic disease - exercise improves insulin sensitivity, improves blood sugar control (long term and short term) , stimulates muscle hypertrophy which is an important factor in preventing diabetes, it helps open up alternative cellular pathways for glucose absorption - look up GLUT-4 transporter for glucose entry to the cell, exercise reduces the density of intramuscular fat and helps with fat loss - diabetes, in general, is an energy status disease that starts when the body carries more fat than it can handle. Basically exercise reduces the risk and the odds and the progression of Type II diabetes, a major cause of amputations, blindness, kidney disease and infections. Skeletal disease - one of the major leaders in premature mortality is an osteoporosis-related fracture. After the age of 65, about 20% of people who break a hip due to osteoporosis, die in the hospital. And about 1/3 of the remainder die within next 12 months as a consequence of that injury. The rest will have a degree of permanent disability and are more likely to die from heart disease because they stop moving. About 2% will be able to reverse it and get their life quality back. Exercise strenghtens bone, reverses bone loss and helps remineralise the bone by forcing deposition of calcium back inside which protects from this and as such extends lifespan. Exercise basically prolongs the lift of people diagnosed with osteoporosis. This has been shown even in postmenopausal women which is the age and gender group most likely to suffer from hip fracture and disability as a result of that. The mental health is a bit tricky but exercise has been shown to reduce the onset of depression, anxiety and has indirectly probably prevented lot of people from committing suicide who otherwise would have taken their own life. The mechanism is probably stimulation of neuroplasticity, hypertrophy of prefrontal cortex and hipocampus and slowing down hypertrophy of amygdala (common finding in people who comit suicide is an increased size of amygdala - postmortem) There are research papers addressing every single pathway and you would find evidence for everything I just told you. And that's just the biology not to mention being active increases your odds of talking to people, making friends, finding a mate, feeling better and more hopeful about your life. Exercise is also a mindfulness activity that grounds you, helps you take your mind off things that trouble you. etc etc # Men who exercise have higher testosterone which makes them more social, more outgoing, more adventurous, more sexual especially in older age, more confident with women, bolder when making difficult decisions in life and SIGNIFICANTLY less likely to become depressed and commit suicide. It strengthens discipline, resilience, and patience and teaches a person to be committed to something. For many young people who feel lost in their life, it is a gateway to discovering their purpose and mission in life. Hopefully that satisfies that curiosity

You can also indirectly kill people with your words and worldview. Think of all the LGBT folks who have died by suicide due to their family essentially shitting on them. The same folks who would spit such vile crap are the same ones who will justify that psychedelics are terrible and should be banned.

There is no individual being. You are the whole. It just appears that way. So, you are in conflict with yourself not Mother Nature. You are still in separation consciousness, which is fine for experiencing and exploring parts of Infinity, not recognizing this, is where your conflicts are arising from. You are predicting cells' behavior, so apparently you believe in a divine intelligence which makes this possible; but you are not applying that to your own existence and denying yourself as the Source from which things appear. God doesn't love or hate you because God doesn't make those distinctions, the mind does. Since God is love, it doesn't know hate because hate is a duality the mind creates. God doesn't know suicide because it cannot kill itself because it is all there is. You are denying yourself as Source. The lack of love you feel from God is a direct reflection of the lack of love you are giving to yourself.

@Rishabh R @Sincerity Yea good points. I thought about it and nature has to be both selfish and not selfish at the same time to maintain the symbiotic relationship. For example all the cells in our bodies lives in symbiosis. If a cell becomes to selfish it becomes a cancer. If it is not selfish the cell doesn’t have will to survive. I’m still not convinced Mother Nature or god loves us. It loves the whole. And we as individual beings aren’t that important. That is why god won’t stop you if you want to commit suicide. It cares about the whole. Not about one part of reality which is the ego.

@TheCloud I talked with my mom. I just discovered that my father was even worse than I previously believed. First of all, when Mom and Dad had sex it was statutory rape. Furthermore, my father coerced me into committing multiple crimes including felonies. He threatened to disown me if I did not swear to secrecy as he committed several crimes to avoid paying child support. All I wanted was to be good, and I was emotionally manipulated into lying on behalf of my father. I still feel a lot of resentment toward myself. I logically understand that my dad is a horrible person, but I love him anyway. I am starting to sound mad at my dad though. My defense is that I was forced to figure out life for myself because I never trusted my family. I had no guidance but my own. My family was never a good example, but I wanted to be a good person anyway. I'm slowly starting to see how human I am as I loosen my unrealistically high expectations of myself. The function of me hating myself is to prevent me from doing anything wrong by creating a lot of suffering for myself. This is why I'm miserable. I just feel like such a victim and I desperately want to be in control of my life so I blame myself. I sometimes feel mad at God for being unfair. At the same time I really value the truth and being the best person I can be. I know its hard to love as God would, but that is what I want to do. I wrote about some of this in the spirituality section, and I don't seem to be ready for spirituality. The reason my mind is so inflexible is because my harsh self judgements are designed for my survival. I could not live with myself if I became like my family. I'm trying to open up to my family. Its going to be hell in the short term, but I have been suffering hell all my life. I have been trying everything to make the suffering stop. My family is completely oblivious to a lot of trauma. They seem to be partially open to me finally coming out of my shell and expressing myself. My relationships will always feel hollow if nobody knows who the hell I am. They act like they don't want me to bottle up my emotions until I stop bottling up my emotions. I swear to God I'm always doing the best I can, but I hurt so badly and I don't want to be a victim. The truth is that I feel completely depressed and defeated. I don't have any control over my life. Suicide gives me a sense of being in control. Hating myself also gives me a false sense of being in control. I have been lost in a meaningless existence for my entire life struggling to find purpose in anything. I have been walking around with suicidal thoughts for over a decade. Nobody knows a damn thing about me.

I don't know if this is against forum guidelines, but I need help. I can't hang myself and need a good idea for how to die. Please help. I should and I simply need to. My life cannot work anymore. I lost everything and am not in circumstances that allow me to be mentally healthy. All ways for how to do that are gone.

@Yimpa i know pouting dosent get you anywhere i was pouting in my room for 8 years. It would have led to my suicide had i not tried mushrooms. Being a victim makes you a victim.

Ye rapper ( i dont follow him that much, much more accurrate examples can be shared. Figure who is Mature and who isnt Logic's speech on MTV after performing 1-800-273-8255 ( the title of the song is the number for suicide prevention call center)

It's hard to convey my love of cannabis. If you the worst that comes of using this plant it not accomplishing goals, becoming lazy, that's actually wonderful. Some people , like me, create whole imaginary worlds, very different from the human dream. The laws of physics change, this other world is so uhman, so alien from consensus reality. Inhabiting it for years is like suicide. My soul craves Earth, humans, and relationships. People can't read your mind in the human dream. It feels invasible when people start reacting to your thoughts in such an obvious and tangible way. The weed dream was fun. I love it. Better psychedelics, meditation, and Love can give me everything I want. I need some sex. I need a girlfriend. I need normal days. I need a quiet dream. The cannabis dream is so loud, so shakti, so crazy and anxious. So awe inspiring, so consuming.