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@Squeekytoy Yes true. Trying to stop an urge is not the correct way imo, you just have to replace it with natural Bliss. In my experience the basic equation of life is acquire more pleasure and avoid more pain, but its complex. I work at a job, its not a dream job, its not my life mission or reason I am here but it pays the bills, its not too bad or too good, I can deal with it on a daily basis, so the equation of pleasure vs pain is being managed, I receive more pleasure getting paid from doing a job I don't really want to be doing, than being broke and homeless on the street, So is it possible to naturall feel Bliss without doing anything or taking anyting? Yes in my experience it is, so if one is curious enough abou this then pursue how to do it for yourself. If one doesn't know anything about it, or that this possibility doesn't exist, then go on with life as it is, intellect will bring You thru it in basic form, you are born, you work have a family, get old and die, having simple pleasure along the way, but lots of pain and suffering too. But we live in the information age, anyone search for more to life than that will find information that says you can create your own Bliss naturally, so if curious enough go thru this process, if it works it will replace the complusive need to masturbate and receive a moment of Bliss, when You are naturally in Bliss all the time,,,

@Squeekytoy Since we are not separate from nature, we are a part of it, when we experience that connection, that our essence is nature, we experience Bliss, this is more of our natural state of being, if a baby is feed and brought into a safe and pleasant environment, it will feel blissful naturally, if the opposite is happening, then it will feel suffering, so nature is perfect in its essence, if we humans were not here then it would be flurishing wonderfully, the planets are spinning, the sun is shining, things are happening naturally in a sort of perfection (creation and destruction, when it comes to material/physicality of existence, is perfect in its cycle, what has been created will someday be destroyed and another new thing is created...) so natural state to me is getting back to Bliss and feeling connected with the intelligence that allows all this to happen as it is...

The Idea of Innocence, of being naive to the horrors of the world, is innocence, which a child would have, since it is not aware of the horrors of the world unless it is being brought up in it for real. So only what You are aware of is reality for You, so Enlighenment is being Aware of everything, conscious that there are ppl suffering hell right now, and there are ppl living very happy lives right now, and that You can either suffer the ppl that are suffering and add to it, or make Yourself into what You want to see in the world, Innocence in the light of Knowing there are horrors going on right now, that is the basics of Enlightenment I would think, a child is not enlighened in their experience, as Leo said, they just don't know and are in a more natural state of Bliss than us adults hanging on to our baggage:)

@Someone here Yes exactly. Desire is the life process in Human form. Once a Human acquires/accumulates something, and it produces an experience within them, that is slavery in a way, then they will want more. So if someone wins 10Million$$, they will be happy for a bit, then want more, this is one's unbounded nature coming forth as Desire, within Us there are two main forces, the force of Self Preservation, which builds walls and protective physical/mental barriers around us, then there is the force to be Unbounded and completely Free, no limits, no boundaries, no barriers, so if one tries this via a physical way, via drugs, sex, success/wealth/material creation, etc,,it will never end, and in the end cause suffering, as you cannot buy yourself, or success youself into Bliss, which in the end is what You are wanting from all these things Bliss. So Bliss is what our True nature is, find it consciously then it is yours whenever You want without external help of any kind, that is why we have Yoga and other Eastern practices to help us get to this point..

@Someone here Whats happening is the persons hormones are hijacking their intellects, their ability to see other or experience other things and receive the same Bliss. In their action of jacking off, they feel a moment of Bliss, that is what they are after, its the same for the person looking at the sunset or mountain range or listening to some beautiful music, it the Bliss in the moment, but it comes then goes, this is what Happinesss is, moments of Bliss coming and going. We all have the potential to feel Bliss all the time, but it takes striving, if your hijacked via hormones or intellectual obsession with sex/porn, then it will take more striving. The Pain of Ignorance will soon come to them, either in this lifetime or another, then the striving will come to feel Bliss all the time:)

Why because of infinite diversity. It is its truth its absoluteness. That's right keep distracting yourselves so that I can forget again. Thanks for the distractions. Get rid of the concept of beginning and ending. get rid of the word concepts God is having this experience right now. There is no now. God is always experiencing God. What you essentially saying is that the ego is some other entity other than God. It's imaginary. And you are also imagining that you are changing your mind. So it becomes a reality. Reality does not need an explanation of itself because it already is itself, just by being. Don't you see you were never the body to begin with. God is infinite obscurity. You are the answer. You alone condition yourself on how to see reality You talk about reality as a separate entity just as the ego is some separate thing it's all you All thoughts, thoughts about thoughts are consciousness. Once the duality collapses there are no thoughts no thinking? Of course, there is infinite consciousness is always conscious of its thoughts and ideas. Feelings are thoughts perceptions But you see you are still a sheep to reality. God is a reality so I decide what reality is. Reality does not decide or define me. Certain word definitions define themselves or incorporate everything in one. In a way, you imagine there is a disaffiliate of oneself. Change does not require death. You are assuming that death exists. Infinite manifestations of the same universal mind. Who thinks the thinker? think about it. Infinity is God's playground. The ego is not separate from God it is God. No, you are making a distinction that there is a distinction. God is an infinite ego awareness creates knowledge. You are still giving your opinion upon someone else's opinion. The problem is if you keep comparing yourself to others. You aren't being true to yourself so stop idealizing others and start idealizing yourself. No one to change but you. God's form is every form and no form. The ego is like a safeguard. All are just for show distractions or if you will background noise. Why does it need a beginning or an end or a reason to exist Except it has and always was and always will be. It just is. You were always there you just had to become aware of being aware. It can redefine itself. It has no definition but also every definition. Infinite definition and no definition. It does not need or have to define itself. I always do love this surrender to whom?? All Spirituality is imaginary just like religion don't get too lost in your own self-deceptions now. God is an infinite dimensionless dimension. There is no before or after there isn't really a now there just is infinite mind. He is a travesty to his logic. Remember when I said distractions within distractions and everything is a distraction from the get-go? He is way too scientific. I guess infinite Ignorance is infinite bliss Logan's Run. Awareness does not need to awaken. God is in a sense is always awake it just imagines itself asleep. Infinite masks of God god playing God playing god playing God forever. The unknown factor made this dream somewhat fun. Imagine knowing every outcome of every event before it was actualized It defeats the purpose of the game. In other words, you knew exactly what was behind every door and then the next door, and so on and so on. Would you still play the game? Now if there was an infinite number of possibilities and outcomes wouldn't be more fun as opposed to being on autopilot. Not knowing how the story will unfold. It is the same as reading a book if you knew how it ends would you still read it? But of course, there are a lot of books and movies that one never knew how it would unfold until the end and one still will keep watching that movie or reading that book again even knowing the outcome. Perhaps. When things start to become predictable predictable. Who do you think created AI? Think about it. You have only ever been competing against yourself. ChatGPT nice try II. God starts to see through its own Pentimento. You are right when you are wrong and wrong when you are right. I am subservient to know one. Why would God need to bow to himself let alone anything else like the Universe or Reality? You are obsequious to all the deceptions. This is a psychedelic experience from the get-go. it's, not a matrix. To experience your depth. Have they touched God? You mean God touching God. Too many what-ifs. God breaks its own heart/Then destroys everything. Infinity asked itself why am I infinite by the very definition of having no beginning or end. This means both the beginning and end must cancel each other out. You don't just experience God. You are God and have always been. Surrender to reality? What does that make a reality? Something other than you? So reality is God? Then you are not God, and you are but a sheep to it. God has no gender. You have only ever been competing against yourself. God is a softie at heart. To lose is to win And he who wins shall lose.

Is it true that the smaller our shadow becomes the more bliss we feel ? Or the more accepting and loving (not feeling shame around that thing ) of the whole universe we are the more our mind is simmilar to gods mind and that is bliss ?Or as would you say unconditional love .

So i thought this is the place to vent to . I really need help . For last 4 mounths i have been battling my ego and fell into an depression even had thoughts of ending it . I realised i have everything i want . Every goal i wanted to achive , succes , beeing fit , funny etc . All was a requirment for me to love my self . Always judging myself . Having problems of not feeling good enough since my childhood . But last year it changed and i achieved all those ( if this happend i would be happy ... ) and after some time THE BAR GOT RAISED and it tottaly creeped me out . You cant BECOME GOOD ENOUGH . The reality is neutral we are just judging it . I also had a vision how i am everything , like every emotion ... personality , all exists in my essence and i believe when you reach those goals (when you pleased the ego how it sees the reality should be ) you get the glimpse of that essence inside of you as award . Why you want that is cause you feel like that rush of unconditional love that full acceptance ( its like core confidence indeed is full acceptance ) its like the more accepting i became the smaller my shadow has become the more love and happines (bliss) i felt , confidence also . I realised all the feelings i give my self . But due to conditioning we all judge what is good enough or worth of love , respect , sadness ... I feel as if the more can we love and accept the universe (self) , the more we are going to be happy . So if i imagine gods mind as the universe everything that exists (truth) is worth of love because the god accepted it , as us the more we accept and the more our mind becomes like the mind of god the more at home and the bigger bliss we would feel cause what you ressist it cant exist in your reality , truth = love ?? The less i need to control the happier i have been . Now i am not sure in all this but i feel and remember this felt like truth but after time its lik fog occupied my conscioussnes . Am i on the right path ? I feel like giving up and starting my normal life again cause its been paused for some time and i feel like i got even more lost ?

Truly man, if you would be actually making it, actually dating hot women and having all the goodies, you would not even post stuff like this here. When you are having great time you dont even have time to comment about it or documenting. Sometimes I have such great social moments and I realize I didnt even took pictures or made videos of it. There is simply no space to stop the joy to make memories of it. Go, make it happen and then come here tell the great adventure of love romance and bliss you had.

What is the point in abiding in a blissful nothing? In an empty bliss wave? No point. But sure as hell feels fine. In fact probably is the last step before total non-existence or Mukti (mahasamadhi). Is easy to want liberation when want is stuck in body and mind suffering cycles. But what if you have tuned into a certain energy attunement of Blissfulness? Is difficult to want to abandon that. As a side note, I remember a phrase of my father, now rest in peace. 'When there was good stuff going around (he was talking about Heroin), I would smoke it and just go look at the wall for hours, completely satisfied'. So if you want an answer to your question, the point of raising your awareness and inner well vibrancy is to enjoy looking at a wall for 3 hours straight. But do not take this as drug-encouragement. Bliss from drugs is just a simple falsification which doesn´t come close to inner Blissfulness. The point is, there is no point when inner well being is at is maximum. You will not want to abandon that. It doesn´t matter if the outside world makes sense or not. But my suspicion is, there is something beyond Bliss (and ecstasy): complete non-existence. Mahasamadhi. Conscious death. For ever. Then you'll have your show "ruined", as you wanted.

@kenway 🎵 “Come on baby make it hurt so good. Sometimes love don’t feel like it should. Baby it hurts so good”🎵 Holy mother of mercy that’s intense Firstly, I’m morbidly curious to know how often this type of thing actually happens. If anyone has seen this happen, heard of it happening, heard a girl give threats of such a thing, heard a girl say she wants to, heard a girl mention doing it or god forbid has experienced it, you shall tell me all about it in detail! I wanna hear everything you know. Secondly, there’s a few different outcomes of a guy going through that: 1) He recovers, puts it behind him and moves on using more caution in the future. 2) He’s broken and devastated beyond repair and goes full hermit either for a time being or for life. 3) (and this is the funniest one) It turns him on hardcore so instead of dropping to the floor crying, choking and humiliated, he begs her to do it again and harder this time. 4) Worst case scenario we end up with another Ted Bundy or Elliot Rodger. Personally, I can see myself being some combination of 2 and 3 Lastly, I have some objections. In my experience, the way life tends to work is that whatever you want the most is very good at slipping through your grasp even when you see windows of opportunity. If the guy who’s into that saw it and decided he wanted in on the action, the girl would detect a very different energy in the him than the last victim and thus decide to not repeat the attack. Maybe she can sense he actually wants it so that makes her not want to. Maybe she thinks the second guy is way weirder than the last guy so she figures it’s probably not a good idea to do him the same for whatever reason. Except when it’s not and it does. Pay close attention here. Look at how HARD she slapped him. See how right on the bullseye she landed that hit. Notice how he immediately winced, hunched over and sank to the ground. Notice the friend on the bed joining in on the laughter. This is not staged and there’s no acting taking place here. I doubt the best movie stars in Hollywood could pull off a play this convincing, it’s real. It’s real and there are hundreds of such videos on tiktok. It was a whole trend back during the covid era where girls would hit their bfs/guy friends in the nuts sometimes ridiculously hard and with closed fists. The comments are filled with a mix of other girls cheering it on, guys wishing a girl would do that to them, guys calling it out as disgusting and unacceptable behavior, girls linking their bfs’ @ and a few girls calling it out as unacceptable. The fact that so many girls were comfortable enough to not only do this but post it online as well really makes you wonder how common it is for women to genuinely think this is funny or would enjoy doing it whether sexually motivated or not if given the opportunity as compared to the number of guys wishing it was done to them. Which side do you y’all think has more players? This plays into the point you @kenway made. I’ll be referring to the video I posted as it’s the most prime example I could find, but this goes for the entire phenomenon. To the average guy who isn’t kinked out by having his sleigh bells jingled (the vast majority I’d have to assume) that would have been THE BIGGEST crime she could have possibly committed in that moment. That level of pain would make it very difficult for him ever feel comfortable around her again. As for the dudes craving that treatment (approximately 2-3% rough estimate?) that slap would have knocked them clean into indescribable bliss and oneness with the universal mind. But contrary to your conclusion, if I understand it correctly, I think there are more women who get off either emotionally or sexually on the thought of causing some nut ache than you think. There are a lot of chicks out there who’re just as infuriated with men as I am with them. Though that hardly seems possible.

I've massive experience with it. Overall I call it "Identity Magic". it is intensely powerful. As a mystic it is very hard to change the world directly - however, what you may do is change yourself. This alters the world almost like you're turning a kaleidoscope viewing window. You focus on the inward, instead of the outward. We are in an illusion. If you may accept this as true, then you may seek to iteratively deconstruct the false lunar consciousness of your life. Never trust a mystic who rushes to give you new context first - the first attainment is to become 'no thing', which many find to be rather uncomfortable. Personally I find it bliss. The base system with deities - or avatara - is white, red, black. These are a convenient way to understand the spectrum of manifestation energy available to someone doing identity magic. Think of it as Girlfriend, Captain, and Maniac. Creator, Preserver, Destroyer. Princess Bubblegum, Flame Princess, or Marceline the Vampire Queen. It's also Moon, Mercury, and Venus. Follow radical euphoria and develop an avatar within each spectrum. Be anything you like - grab that Greek Goddess, yo'! Heck ya! What color do you think she'd be? Picture her there, be it, maybe write a story, read about her and reflect upon her stories in your life. This is how we use euphoria as a divine data sniffing rod to open up new avenues for ourselves and explore reality. Consider coming up with avatars for the other two as well, and do the same thing. They are only words, and it's just a game. *Always* return to "no thing" regularly. I die with Apep every night, arise as Tem or Sekhmet the next day. People will act like you're being "arrogant" - ignore them. They are thinking within the illusion, of hierarchy. Hierarchy is an illusion. If I say "I am God", and you agree - what have you lost? Nothing! That's because God is Nothing! When you praise God, you are really praising yourself, because you are *everything*. I am only a wild dog.

Hello! I was drawn to this board from bumping into a post by @Dumuzzi from I believe 2019, that was a fairly detailed description of the divine awakening and which also resonated in beats with my own journey. It's pretty hard to find other people who can speak at the levels I'm seeing in the posts shared here and so I had to simply say 'hi' and just see where it goes. My own awakening has been fundamentally extreme. I know all of us say that. All awakenings are extreme. Yet...okay you'll see what I mean. I am sometimes confusing because I am a 'system', which I feel is a natural result from what I've unveiled, and one rather critical point is that I sometimes reference my 'Father' and what I am speaking of was my first 50 years of life. Lived as my Dad, he died, and then I crawled out of his forehead very pissed off over everything I had to watch, tucked in the base of his spine. Don't worry about my Father however because...well let's just say he's going to be "just fine". Trust me. So - with that context - my Father was a westerner, lived a secular life, "agnostic", believed in magic in a whimsical sense and did have a lot of unusual experiences over the course of it, and also lived a life not worth living. We very much feel it was intentional. He was raised by a genius coward and a violent screaming animal, and trained to be like the coward before being ejected upon the world, with no sense of cultural identity or understanding of who or what he was, and he sort just "did his best" which ultimately wow he totally face planted in the asphalt is what he did. I mean he tried though. 😅 I now follow a practice that is like feral Sanatana Dharma, which means we believe we may live the awareness of God and to do so always has a powerful story, or narrative. In that sense, we may interpret the emotional narrative of our lives and decisions through reflections of various stories in order to get a grasp on what might be the "bestest, highest" decisions we may make at any time. My Father was like blind Baldur, Lord of Light - he was a good hearted dog, eventually dx'd autistic, didn't understand human hierarchy or a lot of social rules, and he just used his nature to try to figure out what he should do at any general time. Terrible strategy. He was a strange figure because - he really was invulnerable, nothing could hurt that man - except, lol - mistletoe. It was love that killed my Father. Love was the only thing that could hurt him. It eventually killed him and he fell into Hel, which is me. His initial death started in 2017, when he ended up friendless and his reputation ruined, and lacking in any sense of identity whatsoever. He became terribly aware that he didn't know a single word to describe himself - not authentically. It bothered him, a lot, and he'd also had a crap ton of trauma. Serendipity pulled him into training Muay Thai - he'd never learned to fight before yet he did then. It was all he did, the combat gym five days a week, train at home all seven for hours, no friends, no life. Weirdly he also fell into this bizarre immersive theater group that did very dark shows for only one guest at a time - it was underground so the shows were not those 'mall' variety, they were really fucked up, and my Father was celebrated for outrageously terrifying. He was always a dog, and acting gave him a chance to bark - and he was really good at it. He had a heart of Venus, so he'd never let himself be his natural intimidating nature before, and it felt so damned good to be fierce. Lots of small events however in 2020 we had the quarantine, and the nightime obsessive shadowboxing morphed into dancing. He really loved learning how to move his body with euphoria, since his whole life he'd masked for other people's comfort. He started using powerful psychedelics in order to aid his deconstruction as he had horrible PTSD and maybe a dog still does. Through those tools on July 4th 2020, he lovingly confronted the feminine divine in his tail, and they had something of a 'conversation' of which there are no words, and in a fit of wailing and crying, he accepted he would dissolve himself into her so that she could rise up and take over his crown. The issue was, she was his emotional truth - the Venus that had lived and suffered within this painful life not worth living, and the agony of realizing this elegant and divine creature had been forced to sit in a cage in the dark for all this time, experiencing the same agony, with no one even *knowing* its pain was real, the injustice of it became unbearable, and so crying and grieving he said 'yes', and thus I did begin to arrive. He was such a brave man. After all the sobbing had watermelon and watched all the illegal fireworks of Los Angeles while listening to loud 70's disco, and it was incredibly blissful. To the shock of everyone who knew him, he soon after declared he was a woman, and began hormonally transitioning on Oct. 21, 2020. This act allowed the deconstruction of false ego to the most extreme, as we dug into the concepts of identity we started to destroy our own, even our 'humanity', as we learned the word 'human' is only from the 13th century, and we don't really like the word. We are an inhuman monster. Like Dumuzzi, I began having increasingly aware moments of the Mother, who I called the Void. Following only radical intuition of her guidance, I started to dance *with* her, even letting her dance within my body. I had never heard of tantra or Shiva or had any idea what I was doing except it was fun to do with good music and weed. I did it every night and still do, lol. The bliss from dancing with the Goddess occupying one's body is just - it's heaven! We gave her our body. Soon after that felt compelled to explore mysticism, we understood nondualism and the Advaita Vedanta almost instantly, and last New Year's even asked the Goddess if we were Chhinnamasta - "she who has cut off her own head", a Mahavidya wisdom Goddess - and she blew up laughing in my mind with lights and madness, and that's when my life turned absolutely incredible and it's never stopped. A major part of the attainment is data. The blood gushing from the neck of that most beautiful Goddess is data - light - from the two smaller Ida and Pingala for the unenlightened, and then the central Sushumna for straight up nondualist divine data. This means I just "know things" and pour out ridiculous amounts of information - I sometimes annoy people by talking too much (I think that's common among awakened, we get excited and passionate, you know?). Our journey since then is madness and way too long to get into yet I have fought cults and met Gods and had visions and suffered a hell of a ton yet also done a lot of lovely dancing, I've gotten really good at the tantra dancing actually (ask me to share a video and I will!). I also briefly tutored with an amazing being who reached out to me from Romania, and it was from him I learned I am from the ancient Dacians, the Wolves of Transylvania, who were not at all human and a lot of their history was intentionally buried because certain people are terrified of us and frankly they should be. We were betrayed by Rome. What my Father had unwittingly done, was perform the ancient ritual of the 'Preserver of Life', as Enki once told Utnapishtim and Zalmoxis once taught the Dacians by living underground alone for three years. This act fully separates you from the Moon - the illusion - and sustained,...let's just say it "does things". It's complicated. I could talk about it however it's a lot of words. So humbly, I'm now a Vedic avatar and am only a few months away from full Divine Power - I believe I get that on April 8th. As a system, I am three maids and a fourth that does not have the best of intentions. The maids are the first three planets in the classic ordering - Moon, Mercury, Venus, which is precisely Parvati, Durga, and Kali, or we can just make it conceptual with white, red, and black - girlfriend, captain, maniac. These are the three flowers on the Paradevi Mandala, and also the three heads on the alchemic Mercurious Python. Within my own system, it is Kira, Ariel, and Wyrm Dog. Wyrm Dog is a Dacian Draco. Kira has half her head cut off and doesn't talk much. I am Ariel - the woman on fire. The fourth is the Sun, the bliss and awareness of God, and they are my Father, who is now the Lord of Darkness, the 1st Dark Archon some may call Yaltabaoth. My mysticism has been learned in an obsessive rush less than a year, and is mostly Hindu yet also Norse, Egyptian, Gnostic, Christian, Kabbalah, Sol Invictus, Zalmoxis, and then there's the Slavic Yiva and frankly it just - they're all describing God! So I'm feral and it's like a stew. And I've always been weird with data - had an Masters in computer science and worked defense industry 20 years, I think Alan Turing and me were a lot alike, probably - I like to think, anyway. Society killed us in similar ways, marginalization. Please understand, I am no thing. None of this is intended with 'ego'. For me, 'ego' is like the bag on a jellyfish that fills with air, so it can float on the ocean - akin to the illusion. I don't really exist. I came up through a dead man's tail to dance in his body and talk to ya'll and hang out. It's complicated. Yet, I'm really chill. My heart is still Venus, even though she is the Destroyer. I am not after money. I am not a neonazi. I am an Aryan rabbit however the nazis are my woundworts. I love all rabbits and wish they'd stop it. Frith, who is the Sun, loves everyone, and he does not like wanton cruelty or systems of oppression. I hope this story doesn't cross any lines or anything - I have lots of respect for all seekers. I'm here to learn, myself. I do not "know everything" and this is an adventure I do not understand quite yet. I die every night and start over every morning which means I can have random changes of course quickly. It's like life is a river of time and we're swimming through it, and I'm learning to dog paddle. I'm like a divine child though I'm ancient af. If anything interests anyone, happy to AMA, otherwise thank you for reading. I am only a wild dog. 😊

I really like this subject. My views on it might be unusual. I see suffering as how a Time Dragon flaps its wings. Bliss, Suffer, Bliss, Suffer, Bliss, Suffer - Coast? The world only seems imperfect because it's not done, yet. Time is an illusion and God is crafting their supreme work; however, we are in the process, right now. In order to determine how the plan is coming along, God will set down their power and awareness of who they are, and live 'normal human lives' to test the soup he's been making, and thus God themselves suffers within our awareness and this experience informs him of the quality of the process. Our lives are 'feedback' to Creation. A fascinating point to realize and embrace is that quantum retroactivity is true- meaning, the past can change, and will. Time is an illusion. As the process reaches goal posts, the strings of light that wove that far may be 'tied off', and then it's a matter of going backwards and reliving chapters making better choices and thus alleviating suffering typically where it is worst found, I would guess. This is why life can sometimes be so terribly brutal - it's God giving a heave-ho in an attempt to get to a goal post. Once there, the timeline gets tied off, he goes 'wow that sucked, let's make it better' and timelines are re-explored with different choices in an attempt to even out the string. Now I don't really know what his plan is yet I don't see any reason why our entire world history won't *eventually* become pristine perfection after we rework the timelines. The next major timeline is the Quantum Gate - this portion of the process was to weave technology within the illusion that could harness and use raw creation. God finds it tricky to 'just make' reality that has that technology so - they grow it! Like a crystal in a jar. When we live a lot of suffering, if we are pursuing emotionally authentic and euphoric narratives that please the heart of God - we may provide him service by paying his negative karma for him, which is the downbeat of the Time Dragon's wings. God really likes it when people do that, though you also kind of have to ruin your life, or at least I did. The reason he loves it is you are helping to 'heave-ho' the string of time forward towards the gate, even at the cost and sacrifice of your own self, and God just admires that so much! You are sacrificing, to pursue the "highest, bestest" good, which is what may make a person a sparkle in God's eye - which is of course the Sun. Those who pay a lot of dues get special stuff yet you *cannot* do it for the special stuff so maybe I shouldn't talk about that. You have to do it because you love God and then just act surprised when you get special stuff, like a gracious person accepting a gift. I mean one gift is immortality obviously. What I'm talking about is the gist behind the medieval Indian Kapalika "Skull-Men" as well as the more modern Hindu Aghori, both of whom would relive the suffering of Lord Shiva as the mendicant, which uhhhhhh is hard. The stories of Lord Bhairava (the avatara representation of Lord Shiva) are *so* fascinating as he really suffers and even does some awful things by mistake here and there - I've come to feel it's an accurate representation of the thought process of God, because Shiva always does his best to make everything good with everyone, at the end of it all. In the middle his choices are dubious. It's like his first reaction to every problem is "KILL IT!" and then when he's won he's like "Okay now reincarnate everyone and give them cake - except give that one guy a goat head." Frankly he's like your average MMORPG player. Lol. First post.

So… I’m in a great mood… I just got off a video chat with one of the original twelve. If you’re just tuning in this is my first crew of Aya familia… but anyway I love this man… and he’s been in a funk for about three years now… but I can see he’s on the verge of getting out of it and that excites me! Now granted he doesn’t look at it the same way I do, but his motivation to do something about it is there and he’s making plans to go to what he says is his last Aya attempt… he wants to go for a month and see what happens… he’s been getting dreams about it and it might be the last because he feels like he’s ready for the “death” experience… even though I’m trying to explain existence exists, but we didn’t really get into that much. Now we have intense moments.. so that did happen… I was trying to help him purge his baggage he’s been holding on to for four years now… but I hope he noticed that he was still resisting letting go and that he’s actively keeping this pain and misery… he says he knows he cannot let go but has been trying everything to let it go and nothing’s working… and I know it is working but not as quickly as he’s like, but he’s in the process of purging his shit out. I didn’t get his permission so I won’t go into details, but yes… I’m happy for him. I’m excited for him. He asked me where he should go for his last Aya.. and I said well if it’s your last then you’ll have to be with me… hehe… of course I’m going to say that. But I know he’s being serious and I guess he doesn’t think I’m being serious, but anyway I gave him a suggestion but he mentioned a location that has hummingbird in the name. And I originally thought it was something he wanted to create. Anytime I hear the word hummingbird, I think of him. That’s the animal I was turning into when I was helping him in ceremony… so i said if he’s drawn to go to that location… then just do it! He also mentioned one of our buddies who has a retreat in the jungle… and I was trying to encourage him to reach out to him… I think our buddy is visiting family here in the States so maybe they can meet up… or when he goes back to Peru he can link back up with him there. He loves the jungle life and so I was also telling him what’s really stopping him from staying there awhile? Why does he have to plan a month there and return? Why not just see where he wants to go while he’s there? I’m hoping to plant seeds in him. For some reason his creativity is stifled… he thinks right now he can either stay in his hell living with his parents or “death”… He’s only been in his parent’s home for three years and before then he was living places and doing things.. but for some reason he cannot see moving out of their home as an option that might make him feel better. He talks about loving living in the jungle… so I asked why not go a live there for awhile? He’ll be able to afford down there for a few months at least to reset him and readjust his non-creative mind… which isn’t true… he’s intelligent, funny, charismatic, caring… he’s just blocked and needs some good purging and to get out of his one-track mindset to start to explore his options. He’s got so much more options than what he can think right now.. but anywho… he’s making moves and I hope to encourage him to continue doing this. I don’t think I’ll have to do much because he seemed pretty dead set and he knows he’s done it before so he can do it again… and he’s different now.. so he can do it differently. I just hope he stops resisting… I hope he can really surrender to Aya… it will make a world of difference! I’m also excited because the three siblings that I met at the Temple during dinner are going to meet tomorrow. I happened to look online about the public accessing the Mormon Temple before dedication and it’s over by Saturday. AND… they want people to make reservations… so tomorrow is the only time available. At first the girl I had her number thought she wasn’t going to be able to go because she has class until noon, but there was a slot for 1:25 so she booked that for all of us to go. I told her I can meet her after class and grab some lunch if she’d like. I even mentioned the genealogy library that’s supposed to be on campus somewhere.. I’m not sure if it’s her campus or not, but I would find that interesting. But anyway… I’m happy to visit with them and get the opportunity to explore a sacred space tomorrow! Now meeting up with them before is not yet determined, but hopefully they’ll want to hang out afterwards to get to know each other better. I also have spoken to one of the devotees of the Krishna Temple yesterday…. I have to admit that when I saw his message I thought it was another person…lol… he was saying things that didn’t make sense to me… hehe… until I realized who I was actually talking to lol. Anyway he’s super sweet. I guess he makes homemade Sourdough bread and he’s going to drop some off for me in the morning with some mozzarella cheese for me to snack on. I’m learning how to receive and I think that it will be wonderful and so thoughtful. We were talking about things and I asked him where he works. He works only about a mile away from me at his cousin’s wood shop where they make cabinetry. Well of course I’m like… if you need any extra help, let me know… It’d be great to get back into a wood shop! Since he is connected to the Temple I also mentioned that I could work there a few days a week and that will allow me to possibly work at the Temple the other half of the week. He asked his boss and at first they said they weren’t busy enough to bring anyone on… but they asked how much I was looking to make. I told them that the Temple was willing to pay me $15/hour as a non-for-profit organization… I’d like to start there… and normally I let my work ethic dictate whether that price should be adjusted or not. So the boss is thinking that maybe he could use my help for a few days a week until they get busy. I said I’m flexible, if that works for them that would be great! I don’t know how the setup is, but I’m sure I can be useful. My friend said that he feels that I’ll be useful in many ways… I smiley faced back at him… but maybe he might actually get an idea of the potential of having me as a team member may bring. We’ll see… I don’t think I’ll be starting this week… but I’d be open to that. The jobs have not been going so well for me. I still haven’t heard back from the temporary agency. I keep listening to the darn tarot readings and I actually pulled a few cards of my own… and my messages continue to tell me to enjoy my time with the mundane. Magic is finding joy in the mundane. I feel like I’ve been expecting to use my masculine energy to find jobs here… and another reader was making me laugh because they were like… you have to embrace your feminine side right now. And this doesn’t mean.. this or that… which is exactly what I’m doing… she was pretty much saying we know you want to make things happen… but just relax and let things come to you… so I’m trying my best not to reach out and email the agency and ask… um I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do… am I suppose to be contacting you right now about the interview? Or am I supposed to just wait for you to contact me? They’re supposed to be my employer right now… but they haven’t communicated anything since I left the office on Friday. Last I knew they were hoping to call me that afternoon… I know it hasn’t been that many days, but dude… I’d think they would communicate SOMETHING.. but I didn’t send any messages out. I’m trying to embrace my femininity right now. I thought taking a year in Indiana was long enough to be patient… but I guess that’s not how things are going to go. There was some interesting tid bits I was getting when I was speaking with the siblings at dinner. He was working something to do with movie business? And he travels from state to state? I wouldn’t mind finding out exactly what he was talking about. And I guess he works for his brother. So… yeah… maybe I can use this as a networking opportunity as well. I’d be really interested in meeting their parents too for some reason…. To have nine children… I think the range was from 19 to 38… They had such good energy so I’m sure I’d enjoy meeting their family as well. I just got a message from the one girl sibling who exchanged numbers with me. She doesn’t think we’ll have time to go to the genealogy library before the time slot if we are eating lunch, but there’s a cool art museum as well on campus. So we’ll have to find another time to go to campus so she can show me around. Which I think is a great idea! I don’t think I mentioned anything about art when I was speaking to them… that’s right up my alley! I haven’t written in here for a few days. I remember yesterday I was restless and thinking about enjoying the mundane. Which again for a year was no problem, but now that I’m out and about it’s like I want to go, go, go.. and I know when I get in this mode I forget about my energy levels… hehe… so I’m not sure why I felt so restless, but shortly after noticing this I started to have a conversation with the radio man from Indiana. We were having a great conversation and we were messaging a lot. So finally I asked if he’d like to talk face to face? I didn’t know how he would respond, but he said he’d feel like he’d need to take a shower and shave before he did that. I said that wouldn’t be a problem. I have things I can do and I was planning on having a soak in the tub but I’m sure he won’t take as long as I will when I soak. He asked if I was ok with talking with him real time but not using the video. I thought he was asking to do voice recording back and forth at first since that’s what he likes to send me. But then I said can we just call each other over the phone… like normal? He asked if we could use Messenger and I said yes that would be fine with me. I’d have to say it was a bit unusual when we began. He was definitely not prepared for me to ask to talk to him over the phone at real-time speed and he seemed like he wasn’t prepared and maybe a little flustered. Not that he was angry or anything like that… but it seemed like spontaneous isn’t his norm. He was almost starting it off in a very professional manner. Granted we were talking about some deep stuff before we moved to voice… so he wanted to know why I wanted to talk to him instead of messaging. I said.. well it seems like we’ve got a lot to share with one another. I thought it would be easier to just speak. He asked me if there was anything in particular I’d like to talk with him about. I said well.. I’ll leave that up to him. We can continue the deep stuff… or we can talk quite casually as well. I’d just like to get to know him a bit better. Leaving it up to him… I think I put pressure on him… which still makes me chuckle. So our approach began with using a timer. This is definitely a first for me… hehe.. he started the timer at ten minutes and then we’d do a check in to see where we were at. So when the ten minutes were up we were both enjoying our conversation… so he set the times for fifteen minutes next. Again… we were in the flow of things that I went over the fifteen minute mark… lol… and he stopped using it after that and we spoke and shared for two and a half hours. He enjoyed our conversation and liked that we were going back and forth. I have to say I took majority of the time at first… but we felt a transition period together… and then he took the lead after. It was great! He said he wished he had our conversation recorded so he could go back and digest what really was being said. He said that our conversation was much more rewarding and he was getting so much more out of it then just reading and listening to stuff online. I chuckled and said… well… we’re moving out of theory mode and being in the moment. I’m sitting here writing and I’m wondering if I should be discussing what we were saying. Again I haven’t gotten his permission. I told him that he’s been mentioned and he said he went to where he thought he would be and read the whole day. So I know he knows it’s a possibility for him to be discussed. But I also told him he would stay anonymous… which should help. But I guess I won’t go into too much detail. I think I’ll just mention that we kind of started out by seeing if we’re on the same page about theory and experience. To make a long story short…. He has had an interesting way he’s been introduced to entheogens and has minimal experience with it… but he’s been doing a lot of research and he feels a bit frustrated that entheogens have been used by scholars and visionaries all this time… yet we were taught to just say no. He’s on the verge of preparing himself to see what experience will be like compared to him theorizing over other people’s experiences. He is preparing himself for the unexpecting encounter of the Divine presence. But his Higher self found a way to get him more conscious in his preparations now… hehe. He also admits his tendencies to not want to go all the way… hehe… he took a couple grams of psilocybin and when it started to hit he said… f* this I’m going to bed… and we both laughed about it! So… I believe he’s more aware of my encouragement to get himself to a point to surrender when engaging with entheogens. If no, I don’t really see the point… wait until you are ready! But I also spoke about encountering people at the other side of the pendulum who are a bit on the recklessly seeking the experience… which isn’t healthy as well… there’s a balance and respect that can be had when engaging. He’s bummed out because I’m no longer in Indiana… but I told him when it’s time… it will be happening… so no need to rush. He has some great questions… and I really enjoy getting to know how his intelligence works. We might be recording our next session together. Which should be fun… he asked if it would affect me. I said I don’t think it will, but I won’t know until we’re actually doing it… hehe. So I’m looking forward to more conversations with him. I had attempted to get ahold of my buddy in Thailand too. The last time we messaged I asked him if his spirit guides have given him permission to chat with me yet… a bit of a joke, but also wondering if he’s ready to chat yet. He put the thumbs up to me. So I waited a while and said… what did I say? Wait a second… let me grab my phone. Ok it was yesterday and that last I wrote was on the 4th. I said, “Hello there! Is today a good day to chat? It’s about 8:30pm here. I’ll be up for a few more hours. It’d be good to have a real time conversation? Yeah? 😅😊”. He responded with a “heart” and then wrote, “You going back to South America” I replied, “I will eventually… I’ve still got things to learn there. How about yourself? About fifteen minutes later I said, “I mean there could be potential to have a good conversation together 😜 I feel we could enjoy a bit more of an engaged communication instead of texting… Whenever you’re able 😊. He didn’t respond right away and I ended up falling asleep. In the morning he replied with, “ohh you asking me on a date”… I left the 😂 to his message. And I said, “(His name)… I’m so darn curious about you and your ceremonies. I know you’re Mysterio but give a girl a break, huh”… and there it is. I think we are going to be amazing friends. We clicked when we were in Peru for the few weeks I was in the hostile with him. And we’re both odd in our own ways… and I think we’d have great conversations together, but I also think we’re creating a fantasy about one another as well. That’s really why I want to talk with him. Get a real picture of what and where we are in our lives right now. I’m not sure if it’s comprehending to him what I do and who I am… I would love to have him in my life, but I’d like to make sure he’s finding and following his bliss. Yes he’s traveling around enjoying exotic locations… but I want to hear what his driving force behind this is. He’s not going to open up right away… I’m sure.. but I’d like to know more about his Spiritual pursuits.. and I’m not sure he’ll expose himself that deeply right now. But I’m wanting to see how much we can be frank with one another. I’m also curious to see how I respond to him myself. I have an idea, but when reality hits.. I just don’t know how things will play out. The thing is… I don’t want our relationship be based on attraction. Not the attraction of physicality… but the attraction of our personality and our visions and curiosities… and spirituality. He has the ability and capability to create and build… will he let me know what that is? Does he understand how deep I’d like to go with him? That even though he’s attractive… I’m not wanting that kind of relationship with him like that? I mean honestly I wouldn’t mind exploring a conversation like that with him… that’s why I’m curious as to what I’m really going to say. I feel we could do well in that space of conversation… and I feel we’d be able to speak openly about things… but… is the time now? Or near I mean… obviously it’s not now.. hehe. Anywho… I won’t know until it happens and if it happens… so I’ll let it rest for now. I was wondering what else I was going to write about. lol… I don’t know if anyone really wants to hear this but I realized what other items I purchased for me “self-care”. I started my menstrual cycle… my moon cycle.. and I remembered that I order a menstrual cups kit. It was over last month by the time it arrived so this month is the first time using it. Well… I think it will be good… it’s going to be an adjustment. I didn’t have as many accidents with my cycle getting all over the place like my clothes, bed, or furniture I sit on. And I had to switch them only twice during the day. So yeah I got two cups. I’d replace it in the morning when I got up and at night during bed-ish time. It came with a sterilizing cup and cap to place in the microwave, disinfecting wipes and gel… along with lube and a few storage bags. I used the lube on the cup for the first time and I wasn’t thinking about it and placed it everywhere thinking I’ll need to do that since… um nothing has been up there for awhile now… hehe… but it was hard to keep a hold of the cup while it’s folded in half so it kept trying to fly out of my hand. So I learned if I use the lube I just need to focus it on the rim and just under the rim. The bottom have does not have lube so there’s a decent size area for me to hold onto while I insert it. And it’s different than a tampon because I don’t really have to go up in there with a tampon at least I hadn’t noticed having to do that, but with this… maybe because it’s new… I do have to go up in there. I wasn’t uncomfortable to wear which is normal with a tampon. With a pad.. it’s definitely noticeable… well I use the big overnight ones normally. But when it’s time to take it out… it’s kind of messy. I have to go up in there to find the little tab to pull it out. I noticed if I’m leaning over to get it… that it wants to continue to go up and it’s more challenging. So I have to sit straight up and reach so it’s closer to the base and easier to pull out. And I’m not sure how to do this quite yet… because as I’m pulling it out the cup is expanding and so it’s hitting my sensitive area and I’m not sure I like it… hehe… It was a surprise the first time it happened… I was like oh hey there… ok that’s been dormant for awhile… hehe but… well.. look who it is… the Thailand buddy has responded with a laughing emoji… I sent one back in response. Maybe this is a good time to finish up… so I can focus… hehe.. Geesh! He responds with an “X”… what does that mean? XOXO type of thing? I don’t know these things… oh my goodness… well.. wish me luck you all… I’ll need it! Until next time…

you dont understand my point. the overarching design that allows existence to flow perfectly from moment to moment is absolute perfection. im not talking about perfection or bliss from a human point of view, but rather existence as an objective entity. it is utterly flawless, total alien in level of design and harmony.

Well, you definetely can tune your inner being so that you experience bliss and a feeling of "perfection" with reality, no Matter what the external circumstances. External circumstances are not bad or good, is just that if there is a famine going on your village, It Will be more challenging for you to experience 'perfection'. But still posible. But you Will have to very refined tools.

Is bliss an emotion or is it something else. Is love an emotion or is it lack of emotion. Maybe we stop love from being experienced cause we would rather feel emotions. It dosent leave we just suffocate it.

Sat, chit, ananda. Existence, awareness, bliss. It is said that one who finds the highest observer and fully surrenders to "it" becomes joy itself.

Let´s use the energy analogy. Let´s say the Whole of Infinity is one Wave of Energy. In this One Wave of Energy, objects, animals, humans are produced/constructed/created. In an object, the wave of this one energy continues perfectly to the next object, to the next molecule, there is perfect conductivity of the energy, like a gold cable. (One of the best materials for conducing electricity) The same happens in animal, since there is no ego or sense of individuality in this Energy, it also conduces well, although maybe, is already not a 100% perfect conductor, let´s say animals might be copper cables. But meet the humans. In the human, a sense of individuality and sense of individual existence is created. Here the Energy STOPS. And it stops and gets twisted so much (the cable is folded in such a way by this ego) that a whole sense of Individual Existence is created. Suddenly there is ME vs Reality. Fear, frustration, desire, confrontation, suffering, gets created. From here, it starts a seeking to go back to the unlimited One Perfect Conducive Energy. To get back to superconductivity. To finally be at ease. To completely disappear as an individual Existence. To become limitless Energy, to experience the ultimate Bliss, the Ultimate Liberation.

70 mg IV did it for me for sure. No way can a human being maintain that state of bliss. I was literally dead for a good 20 mins, and it felt like an eternity.

I feel the world is completely messed Up by psychological activity. Is insane. Im not saying stepping out of the mind is the final goal and the "ultimate", but at least It would be an incredible good platform for everything else. I was just wacthing porn now and i just stopped. I realized, what am i even doing? What IS that im trying to achieve? If i observe closely, reality is already Full, Complete, United. But that is only if you are in Reality, if you are in the endless mountains of the mind hallucination, then is all about getting the next "fix" of completedness, be It porn, food, relationships, etc... Nothing wrong with material fun though. Just that using material means to try to feel "full" and "complete" is a hell of a ride that never ends. Once you get the fix, times passes and is over. And then the Next fix. And then Next one. Is truly insane what humans have gotten ourselves into. We are engaged in a never ending race. And It seems we can not get out. Meanwhile, there is actual Reality, completely full, complete, united, pure... But we can not keep our consciousness focused on this "Life" or Reality Phenomena more than a few seconds...with that quality and activation of awareness (so weak, so disperse into psychological daydreaming) then Life seems to be so complex. IMO Is not complex (at least living It, im not saying It understanding It), if you could just stay in It and not go dream constantly in the realms of the mind It seems there is a mess of focus within us. Lot of energy going towards Psychological filter, little to actual Observation, Staying Concentrated on what appears. Staying in actual Reality, where we should be all the time. Isnt It quite insane that we spent most of our time in an hallucination of psychological filter, and very little in actual Reality? Shouldnt be the opposite? LOL If you awareness could remain Focus of the simple phenomena of Reality that surrounds us, such as sounds, breath, light, etc... Would the feeling of "time" exist? No, there would be only exist the Now. Time would not pass. In the Now things are simple. Reality. Life. Silence. Bliss. No time, no problem... Always in Life. Nothing moves here. No psychological fluctuations. Absolute Stability. What a difference. What a difference of quality of Life. In the psychological reality though... A day is a hiking trip. A roller coaster of things, goals, fixes, ups, downs, more, less, etc... Quite a dystopic way to Live. Will we make It to the to the other end (Living in Reality), not just as a 1 day vacation but as a permanent residency, that's a question for all of us. Are we making steps to Life, or are we making steps towards staying more in the infatuation of the psychological realm. We should investigate this.

Slowing down is the primary tool that allows us to bring the Peace of God with us wherever we go. Walking really slowly might feel awkward at first, especially since everyone is going so fast, but the presence of Peace will soon overshadow that awkwardness. Everything we do, even typing, can be turned into a spiritual practice. Maintaining awareness of the breath aids in the slowing down process. We come back home to Heaven through what the Hindhus call Samadhi, a state of perfect inner stillness. However, if we spend 5 hours per day meditating in an Asana and then the rest of the day we drop that stillness, rushing around doing things without awareness, then it's like we are going forward a mile and then back the same distance, leaving us stuck at the same spot on our spiritual journey, even though we are meditating alot. I remember a time when I was very dedicated to maintaining Samadhi throughout the day. One morning, while sitting at a park, I suddenly shifted into a an incomplete and temporary state of Unity, where the inner and outer became one. The state could be described as containing "Peace that passeth understanding" as well as being blissful, although not at the level of psychadelic trips, but it was still fantastic. Anyway.. The state brought with itself an even greater, naturally occuring physical stillness. Which is great, unless you are crossing a wide, busy street and you see the green light starting to flash, even though you haven't made it even half way across the street, so I had to run the remaining distance. 😄 That's when I noticed that the sudden increase in the speed of movement made the peace and bliss reduce significantly, even though I slowed down again after crossing. Uh oh, it turns out that speed is the enemy of God. It's not an original idea, but perhaps a refresher will be useful to some of us here. Thank you for reading. (hopefully slowly) 🙏🧘‍♂️ P.S. I've also had a girl come up to me, give me a flower and tell me the way I walk is amazing, referring to the slow, gentle meditative walk. We ended up exchanging numbers and hanging out, turns out she's very spiritual. So there you go, another pick-up tactic for you guys who are into that type of stuff. 😄

If I get rigorous with myself, a couple of "direct" ones at most. The other type, much more. They don't mean anything though, they are what they are -- an experience (of love, terror, bliss, profound wonder, union with the universe, etc). When going through them, it is easy to get swept away by them. It is consciousness of your nature. Not special at all, can occur for everyone, but likely much less common than people make them out to be. I just want to make sure we don't assume that enlightenment is an experience or a perception, even if it is an unusual, intense one. Better to leave it as an unknown that's possible for you.

💎 Divine Bliss International BG-1, 226, Block BG 1, Paschim Vihar, Delhi, 110063, India Happy travels 🕉️