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We all seek the same thing: HAPPINESS The true essence of happiness is to flourish and gain fulfillment and joy from what you GIVE TO the world as oppose to what you GET FROM the world. Once all of humanity realises this, then the Kingdom of God will awaken within us all. In November 2015 I made a vow that I would find true happiness. From the moment I made this vow, my life has been miraculously unfolding in ways I could have never imagined. Thus I write this journal to share my experiences as I embark on my commitment to life-long learning and a pursuit of self-mastery. I hope to be able to connect with people on this forum in order to disperse further wisdom, love and peace. As I follow the bliss that is within me I become more fearless. I am on a hero's journey and I am ready to fight my internal wars in order to enable me to impact the world with what I can authentically offer to humanity. I have a long way to go, but I will not back down. For growth is an infinite process and fear is an illusion. So bring on the challenge! May peace, love and happiness be with you all! My experiences so far as I awaken: 20th-21st January 2016 - what felt like a high consciousness dream I had a dream. I am not even sure if it was a dream, but from what I could make of it, I was experiencing some sort of emotion. My heart was beating fast, and my body was shaking. It felt like I was having an anxiety attack. My thoughts were all over the place. Then a peaceful voice inside me said: ‘now transcend it’. And at that moment, I felt a deep sense of inner peace and wholeness consume my entire body, both internally and externally. I feel like it was a message. A message telling me that if I face challenges or hardships, I should accept them without judgement. Take responsibility of them and remain awake. Remain aware of my emotions and observe them. And from that awareness I call onto my inner being and transcend these emotions that would normally enslave me. I felt that with this knowledge, I could transcend anything. Has anyone ever experienced something like this before? Physical experience (almost indescribable) I was in my bed, in a light sleep with thoughts fluctuating through my mind. Then something happened to my body. I believe I was laying on my back and all of a sudden I felt what I can only describe as my heart bursting open, causing a sensual blast of warm tranquil blood consume my entire being (es blood). It was as though my heart AND chest were previously confined in shackles of deep confinement, and were now unlocked into their true nature of pure peace. It was as though a strong shining light exploded in my chest. But it didn’t FEEL like an explosion. There was no pain of any sort. Just the feeling of wholesome bliss. Since then. Truths of our existence have been revealing themselves to me, as though pieces of an infinite puzzle are slowly coming together. What’s ever more strange, is that I feel all I am discovering is not new knowledge to me. It feels like I am remembering… 27/01/16 - Realisation that woke me up from my sleep It's hard to explain, but I didn't actually remember my dream. I just woke up randomly at 6am in the morning, turned on my laptop and typed this up: Ego is developed as a mechanism to protect itself. As an adult, the ego is immature. Still like a child in an adult body, refusing responsibility for own decisions and refusing/denies/resists having to deal with the consequences. Believes in an ‘I’. This solid individual. Solid entity. As adults we have an undeveloped ego (some more than others). We need to let the illusionary individual self-die. Rebuild the ego. Resist no longer. Take responsibility and ownership of your past experiences. Forgive yourself and learn to love yourself again. Take the leap and follow your bliss in order to be in alignment with your true being. Take responsibility and deal with the consequences in order to regain power over your life. Has anyone had an awakening experience that woke them up from their sleep before?

I would like to share the physical symptoms I had a year and a half ago during the period I had total shift in my consciousness and realization. I'm sharing this because I was somehow confused when these symptoms first happen, but let please not fall into the illusion of having these symptoms if you haven't encountered any, we all naturally has a tendency to imagine when we read about any symptoms. just be conscious about what you read here and be honest with yourself about what you feel. Some of my symptoms are referred from Stewart Wilde Audio book (Journey Beyond Enlightenment), Adyashanti talks, and few websites/articles here and there, and I was able to refer to it within my personal experience. Please don't exactly believe what I'm writing here, keep in mind that some of these symptoms can be serious physical illness or deficiencies. This DOESN'T mean not to check the doctor! 1 - Twitches all over the body, Especially around the lower leg, At first I thought I might be having signs of ALS or Parkinson disease, I went to check several doctors, and they diagnosed it as stress.. that was nearly one and a half years ago, well if there was anything serious I think I should be on a wheel chair by now. 2 - Subtle numbness/tingling all over, it feels like little stars dancing around my body, especially around in my head and skull, although accompanied with comfort, they did not feel like serious illness or damage. I asked two doctors, one asked me if I took any drugs, I said no, later on they both diagnosed it as stress, although I was so far from being stressed (at least I think). 3 - Energetic electric shocks while trying to sleep: Sleeping patterns totally been messed up, I don’t feel that I need to sleep whenever I want to sleep, there is some energy that keeps waking me up each time I try to sleep. I couldn’t force myself to sleep, I was more energetic for doing something I have been wishing to do during my day, when I talked to a doctor, he stated these were not seizures, but stress, he asked me, “you look like an ambitious guy, but are you really doing what you really love during your day?” I couldn’t disagree. 4 – Transparent shiny colorful noise all over my vision: Accompanied with relief and bliss whenever I shift my attention to them, it’s a flickering transparent overlay layer that feels like coming from somewhere behind my eyes. And sometimes they take geometrical shapes if I focus in some ways, I had these since I was an innocent kid, but they faded away as I grew up, and now they are coming back even stronger along with my gradual awakening, I never knew if these are eye glitches or spiritual receptivity, I’m just aware that they become stronger in days where I feel relaxed, humble, surrendered, and I’m not so identified as the Mind or the Body. 5 – Clicking Sound around my head and neck: It could be nothing but some internal gas vesting or body liquids pumping , I'm noticing I'm have lots of these lately and this grabbed my attention because Stewart Wilde mentioned it in his -good but a little fairy talish- audio book (Journey beyond Enlightenment), and he described it as a Floppy Disk formatting noise, he said it’s divine information receptivity! I don’t want to believe, but I wanted to leave it open for speculation. 6 – Strong Sense of Distinction A strong sense of contrast between the physical happening and inner timeless silence, and a sense that what is happening here is way different that what is happening there. One feels like I’m in a 3D software, and the other is, just a realized nothingness, they are completely two different realms. the contrast becomes stronger when I walk, visit new places or do exciting physical actions with some inner attention. Again please don’t take these for granted, I think everybody’s experience is different, Stewart Wilde (and also Adyashanti) talked about many other symptoms that I did not experience myself. Now Tell us about your experiences, and what do you think!

@ayokolomo maybe it can be helpful to you to read books were people get enlightened without wanting it, and with not so much effort. Really there's always effort, but it doesn't mean we know it. I am not saying that you don't have to make an effort to be enlightened, what I say is when you surrender that happens naturally. You don't need to search for it. It will happen. I see it like a natural process. I found these books, I want to read them myself, I didn't read them but I'm pretty sure that it has very valuable information. They are mentioned on a Mc Kenna book, Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing. These are the books: The writer is Satya Nadeem , maybe you know him. From Onions to Pearls By Satyam Nadeen From Seekers to Finders By Satyam Nadeen I want to read it too, I will buy them soon. This is the description of From Onions to Pearls: This is the true story of one man's spiritual awakening, without a guru and under severely restrictive, sometimes violent, physical, and intense emotional conditions. In March of 1992, Michael Clegg entered an overcrowded county jail near Jacksonville, Florida, convicted of the manufacture of an illegal drug called Ecstasy. He was held there for two years while awaiting sentencing. While in prison, he realized that a lifetime of spiritual searching had brought him no closer to the elusive state he was seeking, so he gave up trying. In surrender, he was overwhelmed with relief and bliss. The next several years were spent in a deepening process he calls the "deliverance," as layers of the preconditioned ego personality were peeled away to reveal the eternal Pearl of Consciousness. On August 15, 1996, Satyam Nadeen was released from a federal prison to reenter the world that Michael Clegg had left.

My thoughts are that i failed everyone, I left everyone, I loved everyone oh so very much, My logic and emotions became one, now I can't pull myself out. interesting as to the replies I've got because they make sense. How can I have an advantage if I don't exist? who am I? I've found the answer. I don't dream, I never dream, this past week I keep dreaming, I'm asking the same questions in the dream. (and getting responses)now I understand, I am nothing but a dream here in this world, the point (mind blowing as fuck) is to eternally dream. but a dream Is fake right? what i'm seeing and typing is fake right? you guys responding to me IS fake right? I get responses I can physically touch and feel and have emotional senses but its all fake right? It is nothing but constant pain here a reminder I died somehow, ( I hope i'm alive if there is an I heh) But I get it, In a dream you have no pain... all your friends are there you can't age and you can create. everlasting bliss am i wrong? or really ahead of myself. (perspective) my ego considers it self to be very intelligent to the point I brag about it, but it was never my knowledge and I would say that I always gave it to god. and theres a reason why which I will explain later. I have alot to share about true events (if you believe me) (I know its hard I can feel it as I type) that have happened to me Uhm ( i use to hate people that said uhm ) time has been rewound somehow. like literally. I read manga http://mangastream.com/ Says bleach 664 came out today, I've already seen/read it like no bs. it's been like that the past couple chapters. SOrry for the wall of text I just want it to end. I don't think any amount of money in the world would help me but i'll consider it. All I want is my family and what makes it the hardest I have a beautiful 3 year old son who I love beyond any thing. he was my savior, I make it hard on myself but it's the truth. I was looking up time loops and got really freaked out, i'm afraid of the unknown and what I know Couple questions @ Ayla if this isn't who I am, who am I? @ abrakamowse my thoughts have been a good part of my adult life, to motivate me comfort me, to hold me when I had no one else/ let go of them regardless? whats left

waking up at 7 am, drink water taking cold shower drinking green tea and stretching affirmations for 5 minutes and meditation for 20 minutes journaling breakfast Gym/walking (with preworkout coffee) Reading Watching Leos videos(at least one) and summarizing them and act upon them visualisation for 10 minutes learning spanish 20 minutes meditating again for 20 minutes affirmations again for 5 minutes The more I think about the universe and the mind and the more I exopse myself to various self help material I really think that I got it all. I got it all, all that it takes to rise and become a huge success. It's all inside of me. Not even in me, I am it. I am the pure awesomeness, the indestructible genius of the universe. I could easily make use of my infite power and become the king of the world...if I knew how. I know that I got it all,but I feel like I'm sleeping. I somehow cannot activate the power yet...I cannot go to action. I feel like this power is already in my hands, it's not even hidden or locked, it just is there, ready to be commanded. But I don't know how, because I'm still asleep. If I knew how to wake up and finally make use of this power that I have, everything would be different. I feel it inside of me so strong...so wild and raging, it want's to break out. Sometimes I feel the vibrations inside of me...in my body...or my soul. Sometimes this power is so vivid that I am afraid it will burst my body into pieces and just explode into freedom. Infinite power of the universe...of god, inside of me. And I am still asleep..what do I have to do to wake up and use the power? Tell me Universe, tell me stranger, what do I have to do? I'm a fucking blind snake crawling around the infinite power but I got no hands to grab it. If you want amazing results, you need to concentrate. Directed, accurate thinking towards ONE field that you wanna succeed at. No multi tasking here. One at a time...What do you desire the most? For me, there are 4 fields: Relationship: I love loving a woman and being loved, and I also love Sex. I really want a amazing girlfriend who I can share my adventure with and also to have the most valuable teammate a man can have. A woman can make or break a man. No one else but his woman can help a man achieve highs that he would never achieve by any other means. The mans best friend is really his woman. Health and Fitness: Really your body and your mind are the only two things you can bring on the table in any area of your life. And your body and mind are VERY VERY important to succeed in anything and to function on a high level. Without superior health you cannot do anything good for yourself or the world. Physical fitness and meditation and healthy foods are the most vital parts here. Money and Business: Without money, you cannot go far in live. In fact without money you have a hard time staying healthy, getting amazing experiences, living a good or at least decent life or even working on a good relationship. Money buys you freedom in our society. Money buys everything. You can live in any place of the world you want...but only if you have the money. Enlightenment: Is it really worth it? What will it bring? The end of all suffering? The mind blowing, ultimate truth? They say it's the highest achievement...even Leo is obsessed with it. Eternal peace, ultimate bliss? Or just a shallow realization...Who knows...it's the ultimate mystery. So there they are, the four major fields that I want to work on! All pretty damn important fields, and all need MASSIVE work in order to succeed. But I can and should concentrate on only one of them. One at a time...Which one is first to go? The most important? Oh I think I know what's most important for me...but what is it for you? If you cannot concentrate on one of them and master it then you will fail and getting them all. "As long as you long for the whole, you can't get a part of at all..."

It is as much "mine" as everything is me. I only said "mine" within the knowing that it's me who keeps going on with it. There were more people in the beginning asking it,but they quickly withdrew from Forum to enjoy their nothingness in bliss I of course got it from my Guru, My father, Moojiji who has completely undone the person and left the me open, spacious and free

You got hundreds of "mental walls", you gotta break through those barriers to free yourself.... All too often you find your life purpose by doing things that you really don't wanna do. For example, for years I wanted to be a writer... but I don't like to write very much, I don't have to much creativity, I don't have much imagination...I couldn't write a story to save my life... but recently I have been sitting there and break through my "writer's block" by doing writing exercises after exercises and it has opened my mind and writing skills tremendously. I am at a point right now, where I still don't like writing that much but when I am writing I get these tastes of heaven and become so full of passion and energy. I am here to tell you that you have "Life's Blocks", Sooo you have to blast right through them. If you are tough and persistent enough to do this you too can feel moments of of bliss that will gradually intensify and increase.

Pwahahahaha Actually, the bliss of enlightenment does feel like an orgasm (not necessarily physically). I call those moments "too much joy" - just imagine having a 3 days orgasm (or one week or permanent) ? Only this last phrase right here could give you enough motivation to "get into the enlightenment business" lol

To just grind? Is this truth? Seems like a hellish grind, is this plausible? The person in the video seems lie a dabbler, going from activity to activity? I have lost some passion for mathematics, should I just grind like hell, or follow my bliss? This is contrary to following your bliss, as the example given in the life purpose course. I want to be a master.

I remember two years ago in college after a chemistry exam. I was very tired and happy to have almost aced the test. I went to go sit down on the bench inside our student building (CUB) and I thought about all the mental anguish it took to achieve that goal. All the self-doubt and relentless studying, which was very painful mentally. The only kind of pain that affects me, I have strong physical pain tolerance, I do not take drugs for injuries. When I tried to think of the pain as bad, and the results as good. I felt how crazy it was to think either feelings as bad. How could they be? I got lost with this feeling of joy that the mental pain ( something I despise) was actually something beautiful. Mental pain as joy? I felt crazy, the thought was crazy and the feeling so good. How could it be, it just was. I started laughing uncontrollable when I realized that my thoughts were crazy, and if mine was everyone's was. I ran around campus in a state of bliss telling anyone who walked by that they were crazy. I was being completely honest and I thought their weird looks made them lovable idiots. When I finally stopped running I thought about all the lies we say, anything good or bad with thoughts was pure and utter craziness. Then I found a brick, I could not take my eyes off it. It was amazing, the brick was alive and pure. It unlike all the lovable idiots around me would never lie to me. I felt that, Soak in that crazy thought, I was at peace with crazy and it made perfect sense since it wasn't lying to me. I felt connected like none other, things got even more full when I realized it was all the brinks. All of them were honest friends, and their were so many. I wanted to take them with me, I couldn't but I wanted to fill myself with these bricks and all their wonderful glory. Something strange happened next and I am going to do my best to explain it. I realized these feeling of energy was coming from the grass as well. I ran over to the grass and realized this energy was everywhere. It was the most real feeling ive ever had, and I wanted to define it. I wanted to kill it and bottle it, so I went back to brick to *kill* it and realized almost instantly that that was just another crazy thoughts. it confirmed the crazy, which was hilarious. This brick was dead already yet life poured out of it without stopping. I couldn't kill it so I ran around tried to find where it WASN't. I ran around the chemistry building looking and feeling every hallway and room. It was everywhere, boundless..even radiating off of myself and other people. The definition of everywhere. I was not trying to be enlightened or happy, I just recognized the craziness of my thoughts. It was so peaceful and I could not stop laughing or telling people they were crazy. Lets chalk this off to a bit of after-exam mania, heres what I cant chalk off. That THING, in everything. I was not looking for it. The definition of not looking for it, i didn't know it existed. Yet I found it clear as day in everything, that energy in everything. I told myself how could it not be real? I found something I wasn't looking for. It felt like the only thing that wasn't crazy and that it would never lie to me. Very interesting mental state that I had for several weeks. If thats it Leo, I've been there. I didn't kill my ego either, thoughts were just crazy of any kind. I can excuse mania, but I can't excuse that thing that just appeared in every molecule around me. That brink was beaming with it, and more real than my crazy thoughts. What the hell is that thing that I cant kill or find parameters for, i felt it inside me and everywhere. I couldn't kill it or myself, and crazy enough that dead brink was more alive than i ever thought. I'll accept mania, but that thing was very real whatever it was.

@Ayla Is there a feeling of gratitude or bliss?

I really have to agree here. I've experienced no-self, no-freewill, utter bliss, and emptiness. However, I keep coming back "here" (physical). No matter how much I'd like to get back to "there" (consciousness) I realize that "there" is not going to be a permanent state, at least not in this lifetime for me. Even the gurus live "here." So the concept of non-duality doesn't get me closer to transcendence. Understanding that no-self (consciousness) exists is essential, but the existence of no-self does not preclude the existence of self (physical). Self and no-self both exist and both are a part of this insane universe. Determinism and freewill also both exist, at the same time. Nothing and Something both exist together too. This is the real mind fuck. And it makes total sense, based on our every day experience and our experiences toward enlightenment. I don't think there's a grand conspiracy in the universe to trick us into believing in a self that doesn't really exist. Who would be playing this trick? The self both exists and doesn't exist and both states are equally valid. This concept is so simple and empirical to me. I don't understand why very few others view it this way. Is anybody else on the same track with me here? If we could just get past this simple idea about self vs. no-self and something vs. nothing and just accept that they both exist together, we could get to the really interesting questions, like what the hell is all this for? That's the really big leap, IMHO.

I "work" very hard to simply quiet my energy, emotions, body and mind. To merely create space between the observer and the ego. Yet this has been tremendously difficult and rewarding at the same time. While meditating my energy is pushing my body to move and I become restless. My body wants to move it develops aches, then thirst and hunger. Then fear and love and other emotions are felt. All the while I am trying to create conditions so I can observe the ego. For me this can be intensive work. Have you seen the timetable for a vipassana meditation retreat? This is only a beginner course yet I barely have the stability to try to accomplish that. I apologise if I make assumptions in regards to your mental health, as I am basing this on assumptions. However once you start down this path without guidance, the intensity needed can be overwhelming. Have you seen people "catch the Holy Spirit" in church? When a touch on the head can send people into convulsions. This is actually a step towards enlightenment, but they lack the physical and emotional discipline needed. The intensity of energy is there but the other conditions for enlightenment are not. So they talk of the bliss, but lack the discipline needed to harness that energy to create the conditions that enlightenment may occur. If you have a desire, but lack guidance then look at a vipassana retreat. Build your practice to the point where that looks workable. I am on that path, but I am taking my time and smelling the roses on the the way.

Good topic :). MJ is like a pure bliss without need for having experience of transcendence but overdosed, it certainly affects functions of mind: concentration and memory for example. 2) Awareness can't get higher/lower. There is experience happening in consciousness. If i get high after staying sober for longer period of time, I sometimes suddenly bump into some synthetic thought-processes or original perspectives or any interesting work of imagination but that's it. These are heightened experiences in awareness. Perhaps it could be useful to keep one's mind in more still and relaxed manner during meditation, but on the other hand - you become then substance-depended and that's the dead end. Personally, I treat it just like occasional zone-out without "doing"meditation

<--[02-22-16]--> Do you MIND? I was walking from the college back home while listening to an mp3 lecture about enlightenment when the lecturer suddenly said to stop and take a look out my surroundings. Take an empty perspective to it. (I don't really remember the exact wording, I'm paraphrasing) Notice how everything that is going on is there. He started talking as if the people he were speaking to were all enlightened. After a while, I started to feel a subtle sense that I am not my mind. This is something I have not yet felt before during my spiritual journey. Pretty much everything I did with enlightenment before that involved the mind in some way. I used to try to notice my vision, for example, and have a thought, "I am what I see". I am only now realizing that even that is a process of the mind, it is not spiritual experience. Now, it was definitely not an enlightenment experience but, it was oddly peaceful. It was not pure bliss, but it was more like seeing everything with a carpet of "neutral being" everywhere. My favorite part was when the lecturer said, "Notice the mind losing its power". I liked that line a lot because it pretty much described what "I" was thinking of at the moment. It lasted like that for the entire time I walked home. And if you're curious, this was the video I converted to an mp3:

Mentors, icons come and go, they are like vessels through which intelligence / inspiration / consciousness / whatever You call it comes out and that stream of bliss remains seemingly the same, even though the sources are changing throughout the time. - That's basically what I've observed as my life goes on. Dou You like peanut butter? I'm serious

In a way you can consider a philosopher a jnani-yogi. A jnani-yogi uses the methods of the intellect to achieve knowledge about the deeper aspects of surpreme reality. This he does by the neti, neti way what means not this, not that... Finally you end up with nothing, the thinking stops, the consciousness went back to the lila-point, back in itself. With the right intentions in the heart the consciousness transcends from there and knowledge will flow. The yogi knows that, he`s looking for that. But when one does that out of just a odd wanting of relative knowledge as the philosopher does, he can end up there as well, comparable with the `dark night of the soul`. He will not have the right intentions and coming out of it is eventually only granted by bliss or good luck if you want. Not able to get out you will become insane. Nietszche is a famous example, God was really dead for him... On the other hand the famous Schopenhauer always said he was saved by the knowledge of the Upanishads, thus saved by his heart.

I kind of figured out a plan. I got out of my depression of yesterday evening. For one or two years now I've been having a vision of my dream life: I want to live somewhere in nature, on a relatively big property where I will grow all the food on my own. I am living there with a few very close and like-minded friends. We all are on our spiritual path and work together in harmony in the garden. We are physically very active from the work in the garden and also play around e.g. on a slack line or gymnastic rings. Then somewhen I will be enlightened, love everybody / everything, am connected to everything, am totally mindful and constantly in a state of bliss. On the property is a little cabin / house where we live in. It is very minimalistic but we have everything we need. I sleep on the floor, use only natural products and am super healthy. Through fasting I cleaned my body so much. I eat only the self grown food and sprouts, so I am raw vegan. This would be my plan A. I have no idea yet how I will realise it. Firstly I need to find those like-minded friends. Then I/we need money for the property. And afterwords there is still a money problem. I still need assurances and stuff like that. And if I don't work normally, what's about retirement when I am old? The plan B would be having a job, maybe part time. And my free time I spend outside in nature. Then I looked at these 'Kick Ass Goals' for the self-actualized life from Leo. Here they are unfiltered: no worry about money work is play, greatest joy developing full emotional control and being emotionally grounded deep understanding of how the world works successful intimate relationship and amazing sex confidence, deep self love travel, hobbies physical vitality, energy rewarding and inspiring friendships leader of others, being a role model and inspiring others being creative and advancing humanity breaking free of the 9 to 5 jobs, of the pupculture living in integrity, with principles enlightenment having time to contemplate life and savour the beauty dying with a smile on my face But I have to filter them firstly because I cannot do everything of it now. What I can do not is: This is inner work stuff which I think I can work on through a self love / confidence growing habit. I still have to research a bit about emotions developing full emotional control and being emotionally grounded confidence, deep self love Learning stuff deep understanding of how the world works This will be hard for myself. At the moment I have just one good friendship. The others are just people in school which I like a bit, because they are different from the mass. To communicate with them I have to play a bit. Almost everybody in school is in a negative mood, they don't want to be in school and hate learning... I have to play like I think in the same way. Then I talk with them about school stuff, mostly in a negative way. I have to look outside of school for friends. But that is so far out of my comfort zone. rewarding and inspiring friendships I am pretty good at this goal. I have a relatively healthy diet and exercise regularly. physical vitality, energy being creative and advancing humanity living in integrity, with principles I could do a lot of enlightenment work and meditate. But somehow I don't want to meditate so long. I rather want to surf on the internet. enlightenment having time to contemplate life and savour the beauty I'll work on figuring out this plan later today. Now I will go running outside in the rain. I just need fresh air.

Untruth-Unrealization sounds like an accurate descriptor. It would make sense that someone who had an enlightenment "experience" might have this issue with attachments to illusion coming back. With my experiences, they were intensely blissful so there were probably a lot of things that I missed as I was primarily focused on the bliss. It was primarily an emotional experience, so there was little exploration of there being "no me" it was more of a feeling of "no me." It was like dying and going to heaven, without actually dying. So, there were many illusory beliefs that bubbled up to the surface because they were no longer needed to build up and protect my ego, but the belief of there being a separate self didn't directly brandish itself. This lost in bliss phenomenon was probably compounded by the fact that my experience was catalyzed by Ayahuasca, so the body high and hallucinations were probably major distractions too. Maybe it was sort of like waking up from the dream but still having ties to the illusion from the waking state.

Oh my yes, I do enjoy my very much. I have a wife and child that I live for each day. I enjoy each moment. Even now I am listening to that nice song posted above and drinking a warm cup of coffee with some cookies that I baked. My heart is in alignment with the beating of the song. I am most greatfull of being able to create moments of pure bliss almost at will.

Name: Ray Age: 19 Gender: Male Location: Milan, Italy Occupation: Student, media studies Martial Status: Single Kids: 7 ahah (nope). Hobbies: Personal development, meditation, pick up, watch quality movies, stand up comedy, improve my organisation system, improve my diet, video games. September 2015, I turn 18 and I still never had a relationship with a girl... around the begging of October finally I meet and start a sex friend relationship. She is particular: it's the first person that I truly believe is mature (but I still believe I'm more mature ahah) and she have a particular prospective on life, which is based on a concept called "enlightenment". I value truth and I love speaking about important idea and concepts so I continue to argue with her about enlightenment and while I try to demonstrate that it's a stupid idea I slowly begin to realise that maybe I'm the one who have a false prospective on life. Meanwhile, always for the "relationship" I research technique and stuff for improve the sex life and I stumble on Leo's channel, and I immediately think he's a great and truly mature guy and because of my new interest on enlightenment/spirituality and the discover of a profound interest on psychology and personal development, I start to meditate 15 min every day. From then I started to watch more and more of leo's videos and practicing technique, and now it's been more than 1 year that I'm following him. And I'm so grateful to have made this choice. In synthesis: for improving sex life, then for cool ideas/quality of channel related with my passion, and then even for spiritual material. Personal challenges that I've overcome: - a powerful procrastination that lead me to never follow on school (even if I was really interested, I was just lazy). - being and feeling as "the loser". - being more confident with girls: I've had multiple "relationships" since then (still not a true one ahah), but I feel I can attract almost every girl that I want. - Not having a clear prospective in life (HUGE ONE): I was religious (childhood) and then atheist (teenage-early adulthood) and I now I finally have a prospective that I sincerely consider valuable, that I accept and love, which is "actualising" (personal development & enlightenment... a belief &"non belief" -which is a non belief ahah-). - Facing my parents, express what I truly feel and believe. I let my father convince me to change university when I was loving what I was studying for learning economy in another university... but I've change again university and now I'm "following my bliss" - And in general being so much more confident, more authentic and more independent of the opinion of the others. I'm not anymore the "loser", I'm neither "the cool guy", I just try to be myself and -amazingly- it works! - Learned to make positive affirmations, visualisations, death contemplation, and from january 2015 I now meditate 1 hours every day! What I'm working on now: - Finding my Life Purpose (through leo's life purpose course; and I'm facing soo much resistance). Understand if my passion is cinema or personal development or an harmony between those 2 or something else (or cabin on the woods -cabin on the woods it's always a choice ahah, and we now that we are all gonna end up like this ahah-). - Getting better with girls. - Improve my organisation system, in particular my daily-weekly-mothy-yearly plan, and my morning routine - Working on enlightenment. Learning not just meditation but even mindfulness. - Improving my diet. - Remove other bad habits and create new one. - Finding other "actualised" persons who I can have a sincere good relationship - Study for my university (at the end of the list ahah) Thank you too much Leo; and thanks you too reader, and every other person on this forum: I feel good when I'm here

The only issue is that you are approaching this from the mind: mind is trying to be "all one", it is trying to "be in bliss", "heart open" "to understand", "to experience", "how much I have to talk about" "how close I'm/you're getting"- it has a whole check-list of things that would be ticked off if "I" or "others" were awake. You, the beingness manifesting as "I am this person" and the activity of mind created/learnt all these ideas you have about yourself and others, and is trying to impersonate who you think you understood you are This is not the freedom you are looking for.

@werlight I personally find less and less to talk about lately.. words anyway, have less and less value in what still needs to be expressed here. I am that in which thoughts arise and fall, and do not chase after anything in the world to reveal to me That who I AM. I simply AM, and everything else is expressing somehow "in front" of ME, thus all the interest in trying to GET somewhere in order to find something, that has mercifully left me I am not looking around to solve any mystery any longer You may call THAT one, bliss... or not.

All those things... are not inside or outside of you. THEY ARE YOU! You ARE THEM! As for the bliss you are describing, you might call it like that, or better yet call it nothing at all. Sounds more true to me like that

Hey, I don't really get how people who have read Jed McKenna books are still excited about this enlightenment stuff. For those who haven't read it, he clearly points out that: -enlightenment a painful "process" -is not about finding some cool truth, but the destroying of all illusion until only truth is left -is as radical as committing suicide -is life negative, pointless and should only be pursued by those who have no other options -has nothing to do with becoming a better person, becoming happier or raising consciousness -has nothing to do with love, compassion, bliss or heaven on earth I'll let the guy speak for himself because his analogies are ingenious: "Well, I wouldn't want to give the impression that it's almost pointless. It's perfectly pointless. Awakening to your true nature is like dying; it's a certainty, inevitable. You're going to get there no matter what you do, so why rush? Enjoy your life, it's free. Cosmic Consciousness and Altered States and Universal Mind are names of rides in this vast and fascinating dualistic amusement park. So are Poverty and Disease and Despair. Enlightenment though, is not another ride. Enlightenment means leaving the park altogether, but why leave the park? In the park you can be a saint or a yogi or a billionaire or a world leader or a warlord. Be good, be evil. Happiness, misery, bliss, agony, victory, defeat, it's all here. What's the big rush? When the time comes to leave the park you'll know and you'll go, but there's certainly nothing to be gained by it." "From the U-Rex perspective, "I say, U-Rex is obviously real reality and C-Rex is obviously ridiculous. Also, C-Rex has no upside. There's nothing in its favor, it doesn't go anywhere. Truth is a booby-prize. It doesn't do any good or make anything better. It doesn't provide meaning, it strips meaning away. It takes all the amusement out of the amusement park; no meaning, no significance to anything, no reason to get out of bed in the morning. C-Rex brings nothing to the table, whereas U-Rex creates the illusion of meaning. We must have the context U-Rex provides. Even though it's false, it's still context." "So the lie is better than the truth, you are saying." "Sure. The truth might set you free, but then you find yourself standing in an endless parking lot outside the amusement park wondering why you're out, and how to get back in. Truth has nothing to recommend it except that it's true. U-Rex has everything to recommend it except that it's false." "Me, I don't think so. I know Maya pretty well and i don't see her ever losing more than the occasional stray. A species-wide transformation is a pretty idea, but we have little cause for optimism and plenty for pessimism. It's nice to think we could elevate ourselves, and it's fun to dabble in theoretical scenarios, but the reality is that man will never evolve or transcend or develop beyond his past and present level. If that sounds like a bad thing to us, if Maya sounds like a force of evil, if the terms by which man lives on this planet seem to oppressive or restrictive, then we might do well to take a step back and reevaluate the situation. Where are we? What is this place? Is it a prison to be despised or an amusement park to be enjoyed? Is ego a hideous affliction? Or is it simply the vehicle that allows us to come out and play? When the choice is between no-self and false-self, false-self start looking pretty good and despising and demonizing it starts to seem pretty ungrateful." This demonizing of ego, which i see a lot here, seems to me very ironically, just an ego game Now sure he is exaggerating a bit, there are other perspectives and Jed McKenna is off course not the ultimate authority on enlightenment(although i have little doubt that he is enlightened), and i'm sure Truth can be a very great thing for people, but i really doubt whether enlightenment is something desirable for everyone, when the enlightened guy himself states that it's life-negative.