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@Ayla i sat there in silence .... in this nothingness.. i am it... that it that i am is no-thing... cry cry , laugher laugher, more tears , more crying more joy.. now there is nothing left to do. i know thoughts will be knocking and continue to knock... but this time i don't have to answer or pay attention Going out of my mind soooo happppy!

The silent observer is absolute nothingness. It contains nothing, and yet it contains everything. Something that that will always allude the mind. It permeates this existence at all times and everything that happens here, echoes' into nothingness for infinity.. Conscionsceness is that empty space within this experience. It flourishes when there is no mind.

@abrakamowse Everyday, Same thing from my previous post. when I said we were dead it is the truth, or we never existed which is the same thing I'm pretty smart that is the truth that can't be communicated. like how you "FEEL" someone during a conversation and all you/they said was "hey" or w/e Because you can say hey 100 different ways with "Body language" each meaning something totally different by the pitch of your tone or movements, correct? . Some 1 deny me this. and 9/10 you can pick up on this. The pain/sadness comes from letting go,everything you thought you had or always wanted. Liek your best memory that dwells in you head that you can never get back (theres nothing you can do/ no money in the world crying etc.). idk if it ever goes, no one here has mastered it that is the last step to enlightenment I believe Jesus or heaven is real it is right here. Sorry to do some religious dogma Do you people believe in a actual god? other than nothingness? what if you could create an illusion of beliefs.. would you choose heaven? Would you choose a paradise of eternal happiness and no pain with your friends/family or eternal nothingness. there has to be a better way I keep getting this feeling and I try to run from it everyday literally each second something IS calling me I just can't let go out the sadness or pain or fear . I'm scared to let go what will happen to me idk Maybe it's an ego death

This is something I do. In much the way that Leo talks about dealing with strong emotions by 'superconducting' them through you, this works for all feelings and emotions. Just observing it without judging it, or expecting anything from it, and most importantly without resisting it. We often feel a negative emotion well up inside us and then judge it as something that shouldn't happen or we don't want. Then we try to fight it and push it away, deny that it is happening. But if we just let it be, observe it, recognise it and allow it without reacting to it then, as you say, it melts away. This is also something I practive when meditating. If I am experiencing an emotional reation to something I can invoke that emotion during meditation, give it my full attention, then refocus my mind back on the 'nothingness', allow my thoughts to dissolve and the emotion dissolves with them. Then I'll re-invoke the emotion, observe it and do the same. I find each time I run this cycle the emotion becomes weaker and weaker until it no longer happens and I am at peace in my mind and body again. This effect lasts for a while afterwards. It's a great way to reduce emotional reactivity and maintain a more calmer and constructve mindset.

This claim is unfalsifiable. I agree that decreasing activity in certain parts of the brain via meditation/drugs/surgery/disease will give you the feeling that you are the world and not the self but there is no way you can say anything further. If you are saying the brain is a filter then damaging it or committing suicide should be the fastest way to enlightenment, yet people aren't doing that. It seems to me that a feeling of nothingness requires an active brain with a specific part deactivated. The gain from understanding no-self is still as great as ever. You get the benefit of knowing there's no self to die, I just don't think you can claim that without a brain enlightenment exists. The room and actor exist only when the projector exists.

This is mostly a theoretical one, but probably has applications within meditation, consciousness work and our idea of the self. I'm 100% certain that I'm wrong about SOMETHING here, so any corrections are appreciated. When people first encounter the Doomsday Argument, it's basically the most world-altering thing they've ever heard of. It goes like this: why were we born RIGHT when technology started developing? The answer usually being: because there won't be a future to be born into, because technology will cause the world to collapse. Except... that's total bullshit, because that would imply a weak form of time travel exists. It wouldn't be a form of time travel that could change the future, though, because regardless of whether the apocalypse is coming, the "You" would always be there, experiencing this supposed "time travel". Even so, it's applicable from your point of view, and it would make logical sense for the experiencer to assume that this Doomsday is coming. Except, no. Ultimately, with regard to consciousness, it is just as likely for you to be born in America as it is to be born Elvis Presley. It's non-accumulative. The entire concept of "likelihood of being born as ___" doesn't make sense and stems from our need to explain everything based on 4-dimensional Platonic spacetime mechanics. This flaw makes it hard for us to understand things outside of said 4-dimensional spacetime, like quantum mechanics, the lack of a need for an outside creator or source for the Big Bang (conservation of matter/energy only applies in our 4D understanding), the self being nothingness itself, countable infinity vs. non-countable infinity, the idea that infinity*2 = infinity, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of our belief systems are based on this idea that "group A is bigger than group B, so it's more likely to be born into group A". In truth, you weren't born as either. You were born as all of them at all times, or alternatively, none of them. The implications this has for ethics is unknown. Does it mean that making one person happy is the same as making a group of people happy? Probably not, since itseems like subjective well-being is accumulative (two dopamines > one dopamine), in contrast with consciousness itself which is not. I could be mistaken about all this, and I may be thinking about it in the wrong way. But it would seem that the notion that there is a coming Doomsday makes no sense, and it's nothing worth worrying about. (Also, side note: I'm not a believer, but there's an atheist argument that goes like this: "it's impossible that an eternal afterlife exists, since it's infinitely more likely to be experiencing IT at any given time than THIS infinitesimally-short life". But the whole concept of consciousness being non-accumulative puts this argument out the window.)

I feel like all this talk of nothingness taht Tony Parsons and the other people are talking about is missing something. Why do they never talk about love? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO83S-dptiE

@werlight Yes, totally. "Everything is exactly as it should be in this very moment". That has become my mantra. I also became aware that nothingness surrounds the space of existence at all times. Whatever happens within this space is absorbed directly into that surrounding space. I talk about it in a dualistic way but in truth they are one seamless space. Sometimes after meditation the presence of nothingness is so obvious that it feels like I could almost scoop it out of the surrounding environment. Yesterday morning when a had the experience of pure love, It felt like the top of my head was buzzing it was so strong. Very powerful! I I must have tapped directly into the love frequency. Amazing!

I'm not sure what to believe about reincarnation. Who really knows. One the one hand, maybe consciousness returns to it's original source and just recycles back as pure consciousness into some other life form. There is a lot out there to this universe for consciousness to occupy. Or maybe consciousness is just a product of existence and when the body dies, consciousness is finished also and it all ends there. But on the other hand, maybe there is an essence or spirit self or soul, or divine self that returns to the manifest realm to do more work. Some believe that enlightened teachers are very old souls that have reincarnated many times before. When we pass on could that divine self enter into a higher realm, and from there decide to either move into infinite bliss and vanish, or return to existence to do more work? Why do I have a feeling if that is the case, my divinity would choose to return to this raw existence instead of moving into the infinite bliss of nothingness? I'm experiencing something very deeply at this very moment, something that I know extends much farther than this existence, divinity. Tears are suddenly pouring from my eyes for all of humanity. I love you all

"The "Nothingness/You" was there before even the time you were not born and will be forever." How do you know that? Do you have any evidence of your statement? "it's called "awareness" that is true self and cannot be changed because it's "nothingness"" Define "Nothingness" "The brain should be firing trillions of signals to make sense of self and everything you currently experiencing that makes "you" unreal and just a mind activity" Are you really trying to solve the "consciousness problem'? lmao, How you gain consciousness and how you are always being you in the same body? can you explain this? There is a big nobel prize waiting for you.

@Grasshopper you explained it well dude, it's called "awareness" that is true self and cannot be changed because it's "nothingness". The brain should be firing trillions of signals to make sense of self and everything you currently experiencing that makes "you" unreal and just a mind activity. The "Nothingness/You" was there before even the time you were not born and will be forever.

+ What about trying 1h meditation on sunday? I can´t stress enough how important the lenght of the meditation is sometimes. Eventhou everyone also leo in his videos says it is ok to do 10min / 20min for beginners , which is better than nothing , 20min is also nothing compared to say a 2h meditation...Inrease Lenght is Strongly advised for the "next step" +also try different meditations to spice it up and learn about the different inner "channels". Try Mindfullness / Try "Do nothing" or "nothingness" / Try body Scanns/ Try mantra-meditation ...and if you are adventurous Try "Strong Determination Sitting" to really step it up !! Here again 20min are NOT enough!! On my first SDSitting the first 20min-30 happend nothing i was only bored and my back hurt .... only after that i had an experience i wouldnt want to miss to say the least... Cheers

In my journey trough this topic for now, I have discovered that you can experience nothingness and that a good thing to know in your daily life. But you have to take some role to be effective in this reallity and its okay as long as you don't consider it that this role is the only one you have. You can change it or revert back in to the nothingness to reboot your believe system.

My simplest understanding is that they are not at all the same thing, they actually seem to be on entirely different fields: Enlightenment = Being one with the "true" self, understanding our nothingness, oneness, and wholeness that is a part of being. Spiral/Graves = Our understanding and empathy, toward aspects of our lives/society/community.

No, thoughts and senses ARE the only reality. They literally ARE what reality is composed of. The idea of an external reality outside of immediate perception is just that, an idea. Thoughts are real, but the stories they tell are not. The existence of an external reality is one such story and should be treated with much skepticism. Maps are the stories thoughts tell. The territory is raw sensory perceptions, including the sensation of thoughts (but excluding their stories). In addition to the above, the territory is also your true existential nature: consciousness, pure empty awareness, Nothingness, and/or Absolute Truth. There are many labels we can use for it. But this awareness is not a sensory perception or a thought or an object at all.

And pure being and duality and enlightenment are all coupled to the ground state of nothingness? Is that the Oneness? The singularity?

That's interesting! The reason I asked about the void was, Once when I was meditating I experienced pure being. There was just a silent essence of myself. Just floating in infinite silence. Very peacefully. Blissfully. I had a whisper of a thought to totally let go and merge into that blissful silence. Than I disappeared into nothingness. I became non-existent. I only realized that after I returned to that state of pure being and silent bliss. After that experience happened I thought to myself, becoming the void is nothing to be afraid of because you don't exist when it happens. When I referred to other perceptions, I was eluding to perceiving higher realms. I wonder if those higher realms surround us always and we are actually occupying then now. And during sleep we sometimes directly access them. Also when we pass on we go back into the higher realm. From there we chose (as pure being) to come back again to the manifest realm (reincarnation) to work on ourselves and to help others in their journey. It's all or none, so to speak. Have we all decided to be here by choice? Do we all know in our hearts what we truly are, even though we may not be obvious from this point of view (the manifest realm). But everyone here is trying to remember what we truly are. Something bigger is driving all of us on this search. Who knows? Whatever it is it's way beyond the thinking mind.

Hello Friends This is my first time!! expercience with strong determination sitting (sds) English is not my native language, but i read a lot in english and i learn now words/vocabulary every day. Feel free to correct me if you see a mistake! I meditate every day (very few exeptions to be honest) since 8 weeks. Started with mainly breating and mindfulness-meditation lately nothingness-meditation. I already see positive effects. Beeing more calm/balanced, more productive (i did a LOT! of stuff in the last 2 weeks only, seemingly without effort and without forcing myself, i just did it!), less self-hating ^^(yes i told myself sometimes how bad my life is/ or how good it WAS before i srewed up etc...) less complaining and more pro-active behavoir, and i feel im on the right path! Work to do! I just did 80 Minutes of SDS. It was totaly different from what i expected, it started of quite underwhealming for me just to bring me to places where i wasnt able to get to in the last 8 weeks with my other medi-techniques! Now that i did it i can say im glad i did and i will continue with sds every day throughout march. I feel like maybe 10% of this firsttime i can NOT recreate, but 90% of what i expericed can be accuratly be recalled. here and there might be a small chronologic jump. Some of this protocoll is "direct speech" or "flow of consciousness-speech" and some of it i edited into correct sentences.^^ 1. THE START I was sitting on my chair, silent humming of my refridgerator in the other room, i put on a sweater so getting cold wont be a topic/additional distraction, since i expect the partice of sds to be hard from what i read about it. straight back sitting on my chair i close my eyes... after 10sec already ^^ omg! how long am i in this? 10sec maybe? shit! a THOUGHT!!... wait it is ok im alowed to think in this one. but i didnt think a lot i didnt try to think something actively most of the time but it felt comfortable knowing that if i do, it is not a problem. god! this is borring! and also way to easy i just sit here ..so what? how long now? 5minuntes maybe? ...im made for this. this is waaaay too easy slight pain in the back ..maybe a 2 on a scale from 0 to 10. i can ignore it. Thought occurs: probably becasue im a sportive guy i released all my body energy already by doing gym-work and badminton yesterday so my body feels realy calm, maybe those ppl who struggle with "sds" are all overweight americans ^^ (sorry guys!^^) they think it is so hard but actually im way better than them... (ofc you are) how long now? 10minutes maybe? this is so easy what´s the point? should i even go on? couldnt i use my time better? couldnt i use the 80minutes for breathing meditation or nothingness meditation (which i did the last week every day and felt positive about it since i did it even thou i found it extremly hard to do the first times) wouldnt that be a better use of time , maybe im not made for this? WOuldnt it be better to stop now and do something else something "harder" .... pain in the back goes up to 3 ..still i ignore it. OR!! now a different thought occured... since i find it so easy...can i do this even longer than 80minutes ? i could do 5 hours...i can just ignor my timer when it goes of and do it longer they will be so impressed on the forum if i tell them^^ wait isn´t it a realy bad reason to want to impress people? i realized that impressing is kinda important to me and it is no coincidence that i want to do it here in this practice too and this might be my first small realization. I was not thinking: I SHOULD NOT impress or swearing i will never try to impress someone again from now ..but just realizing / narrating to myself objectively that i DO have the tendency to wanting to impress ppl in the last months/years and i felt intuitivly that is not realy something im proud of ^^ and i should keep an eye on that! ..nothing more and norhing less for the moment then my handy rang ..shit! (the first call). who could it be? someone at work, they sometimes call me when they need something i must help them out with, or maybe i forgot something important...nah! maybe my friend is calling asking me if we go bouldering today? but i cant since i hurt my ankle at badminton yesterday... maybe my father is calling? maybe i did something wrong maybe my aunt asking me if i can go buy food for my grandmother? it stopped ringing. it is not imporant right now...i have my free day, i dont have to take calls. i wont die! if i dont take the call.. it is fine! ok back to: this is easy im made for this, then i felt bad : pain in the back increased to 4-5, still no problemo but it is annyoing. leo said it will be worth to do "sds" maybe he doesnt know that im different, that it is too easy for me. if he could see how easy i sit here for like 15minutes now he would recommend me to do "breathing meditation" instead or someting else. ------------- 2. BREAKING UP then my state kinda changed and i cant quite remember / reconstruct how it exactly came to be. i didnt feel a hard change while i was doing it, but recalling it is a bit foggy for me. i know it had something to do with this: for some reason i cant quite remember the cause (althou it is probably secondary) i felt guilty , maybe because i mooved a bit while i shouldnt? and i went like: you piece of shit! you mooved! you failed..you fucking idiot! and i sometimes talk to myself in that way always implying that i dont realy mean it, it is more to motivate me ^^ now i realized that it is not realy helpful if i insult myself for doing something wrong?! also somehow that everytime i realize something, learn something about myself, i feel like there is the old me (not knowing the new thing) and the new me (knowing the new thing) and then the 2 are getting into a kind of micro-fight with each other, who´s the better "I" ...i realized this is fucking tragic! WTF am i doing? i realzied and remembered that i do this on a daily basis never beeing able to see what happens...that 2 mini-egos fight each other over who is the boss! first i felt mooved by this realization ...it wasnt realy crying. just feeling realy mooved by realizing how i get into arguments with myself, beeing able to see how sad this is! 2 tears went from my eyes, 1 right and 1 left. It didnt feel like crying, just like water is coming out of my eye. both waterdrops went down my face to my mouth and the right one was bigger i guess and went further to my chin. i felt something changed, i knew this place where i am now. i realzied that i have so many unrealsitic ideas about getting enlightend or the way i can change throu meditation, i can become this new "super human" kind of guy almost godlike ^^ in a way , my goals are actually ridicoulous i realized now, it will make "click" and im perfect i will understand everything and be happy for all the time ^^ i know and i knew of course: that cant be achieved it is just a child fantasy but at the same time a part of me still wants that or wanted that, i also cant exclude that the wish wont appear ever again , it probably will but next time it comes i can see it from another persepective. because now that i have seen what it ACTUALLY means to learn something about myself, to starting to know myself better, i realized what i can actually get from meditation and how it is so much more worth to me than beeing perfect and happy all the time or even like beeing a super-alfa-male 24/7 ^^ i thought about how tragic humans are, how most of them try their best to be happy (like me) but they only cause pain in themself and others cause they dont know what they do and what they are. the difference between the human intention to do good and actualy doing harm without knowing made me cry. it was too much at that point. it seemed so sad, so heartbreakingly tragic that all those peolpe realy honestly want to be happy but they all fail cause they dont understand shit ^^ 2 more tears go down my face... (now comes a part which does not! represent any political standpoint on the question of how to treat criminals, but it is rather an experience in empathy and seemingly understand the suffering of a psychopath/murderer) the topic about why people do bad things without knowing it took me to the question about criminals. why do some people kill others. why do some people become insane killers. are those people realy evil, or are they just completly diconnected from their own inner life from their emotions. what is wrong with them? of course i want them to be locked away and in prison but also i thought maybe they are helpless. what kind of pain must have been inflicted on them in order to create such personalites that can´t feel for others anymore that are completly numb. i saw those killers as childern and feeling sorry for them getting beaten in fact i thought: how dare i - how ignorant of their suffering do i have to be to judge those people i have no idea what they went throu!! start crying again this time with opened mouth , couldnt keep it closed , felt like caughing in an emotional way realized i should return to my pratice to not moove now but it is fine i mooved affectivly couldnt stop it now return to pratice... i thoght this year had already had 8 weeks and in this last 10minutes i had more meaningfull personal realizations about myself and the world than in the last 8 weeks. even thou i did my routin, 1 hour meditation , breating medi, body scan sometimes, nothingness medi the last week which realy felt like stepping it up for me, but i usualy had only positiv feelings, i smiled i had moments of joy even bliss in the meditation, i even had moment where i went: oooh! THAT`S WHO i am , or Ohhh! right im not that (rather abstractions/ feelings almost autosuggestive realizations) also i faced fear (in one of my first meditations in january i had the sense that someone stands behind me and wants to murder me ^^ i sat though that and made me face it ..it never came back or only in a softer form and then it went away) i never had concrete realizations about myself, what EXACTLY almost scientificaly it is that i am, what i do, how i behave. this time i had that and it made me cry i felt that having an epiphany that makes you cry because your realze how wrong and almost tragic your behaviour is worth more than smiling or feeling bliss... then again i realized that there is probably a time for each of them i wouldnt want only crying all the time ^^ but for now im realy glad i could get those insights! ------------------ 3. CALMING DOWN / JOY i hoped i can recall everything or maybe the most important things for people to read beacuase i also enjoy reading such protocols by others to kinda see what they saw. also i realized that by beeing prepared to narrate my experience it made the experience more clear for me. it reminded me of this psycho-therapy technique of just narrating what happend without judging, just objective desciption of events. i feel i was able to do this for the most part in the last 15minutes of this sds. i wished for it to end now and i felt like i realy enjoy it. i thoguht ok it was enough now. i have to write it down and let it breathe take a break now. OR! maybe i could go even deeper now...but there is still time the next weeks i will do this daily. so no hurry! i felt realy relaxed now, my back pain had completely gone and instead i felt warm and unified like ... you may laugh now: i felt like a banana it must sound horrible but it was realy funny and i had to laugh myself when i tried to explain to myself how i feel now and i came up with the banana comparison ^^ my body feeling was good i felt like one huge slightly rounded thing beeing whole. i felt like i expanded. i could still feel my body borders as a silouette but i was also in the whole room filling it up, it was realy nice! i felt refreshed and i enjoyed it. ----------------------- 4. LAST MINUTES / WORK TO DO... one time at the end maybe 5-10 minutes before the alarm went of i licked my lips and i thought ..awww np i wont tell them! wait what? im going to lie about stupid shit like that just to make me look better ^^ LOL i had to chuckle this is ridicoulous ..did i actualy just thought about lying , trying to make me look better even i realized earlyier in the sds that i shouldnt do that. that i should try to impress people. here i also had to smiled and realize it will take MORE! than only realizing things to stop bad habits in myself, bad habits have a momentum they are automatic almost and i have to be aware of them and stop them everytime they will occur in the next weeks/month. then i went nah ok...ofc i will tell becasue if i lie that makes me feel bad.. then i realized not lying just because you feel bad is also not a realy good reason isnt it? but i couldnt think of a better reason right now and i felt no urge to do so since im mainly supposed to sit still in this technique. then the second call came... i thought np. i wont answer it is fine... it stoped 1minute later the alarm went of. i did it! 80 something minutes... i waited the alarm to stop /wanted to do bonus time for some reason and then when it stopped i breathed sometimes in and out streched my back, and then started to open my eyes...eyelashes beeing glued together by dried tears ^^ i felt fine. i want to write down everything...here i am!

I have tried probably every drug available except heroin because I don't like needles. I think that drugs has nothing to do with enlightenment. Enlightenment is all about getting rid of the ego, connect with your inner body and with the timeless spaceless Being. Nothingness, etc. All psychedelic drugs enforce your permanence in the world of Form, it's superficial, it's visual, it's artificial. Drugs are at the lower scale of the happiness spectrum, it's a shallow experience that if the source is good last for 12 hrs. My longest trip was with LSD for 12 hours. I have also been doing coke and alcohol for 3 days without sleeping. Coke is Ego food. Weed makes you think a LOT as well. Nothing could be more far away of enlightenment than thinking. That being said I don't regret have trying them, i had very very fun moments with them, and also helped me realize how a waste of time money and brain cells they can be. Also very easy to get addicted. And addiction is the exact opposite of Willpower and self control. On the other hand, some ppl need to hit rock bottom in order to straighten their life. The Buddha was an addict and he was tempted by his own demons during his enlightenment journey. So maybe there is some relationship between drugs and enlightenment. That could be an interesting video haha cheers

How to access the World of the unmanifested and why should we attempt to do it? If we were born in the world of Form and time why should we escape to the world of the Unmanifested, the silence, nothingness and the timeless space. What's in it for us? Also how to connect with the inner body and Why (again). What happens with the inner body after the physical body dies?

So ive come to the realization internally that i cant find michael, michael is just a thought, and even writing in this context is weirding me the fuck out! Or rather the feeling of weirding the fuck out is arising, totally becoming disidentified with.. well.. who "I" thought was me. Having a hard time going to bed, each time "me" comes back to the foundation of nothingness or the realization michael doesnt exist.. eerie as shit might one say. A sudden gasp of air or shock arises within the body, like "michael" is dying the emotional reaction now while writing is sadness and depression but no identity is experiencing it.. wwwweeeiirdd..and the realization that.. uhh michael was never there ever.. sad hurt pain cry anger .. hate ... go away This one is trying not to wig out.. sleeping next to whatever my daughter is.. a thought perhapps.. deep deep pain Anyways... will one wake up tomorrow? Am.. "I" dying? Scared ..if not than.. wtf is this shock and gasps for? Realization of non existance but was just illusion? Tripping?

When i was started education on college,i also started to watch self Actualization,and i was really motivated to do stuff. My fitness improves,grades , level of happiness are pretty good,and i was pleased.Also i was excited about life purpose ,and i was planing to do lot of work about that part,but also to enjoy life, learn about sexuality and approach lot of girls(maybe find one girlfriend that i can fall in love with),travel ,socialize more(party, going out, or some other activities) and dont have any regrets ,because im young now,now or never...But.... Leo started videos about enlightenment,and talking about no-self,and that sex,party,etc..-isnt good ,and havent value(but that is for my age 21, really important, but that isnt my main focus)... Why also have life purpose ,because i dont exist, how can i know what it is because i dont know who am I( that empty space)... and,Buddha sad that you dont need any wishes ,or something that you want,just enjoy...... Now , im demotivated ,deppressed, cant do anything, dont have girlfriend, everything is pointles, i have no ego and when i die,no one will die(how can i contemplate death,to motivate my self)...for example ,I was training soccer,and that was really important to me, i loved soccer so much... but that is extreme hard,if you want to be good at it, sometimes you just want to give up but i always talked to myself that Im the best,and my ego wanted to be best ,that was my will power ,not things like im nothingness ,never mind, just enjoy ,... Please help,maybe im wrong, but im in tuff situation,i dont want to waste my time,that thought that im nothing really demotivates me,and i think that you cant kill ego,it is nice to be less egoist,but without ego i dont have real motivation. Sorry for my english,not good at it .

Don't forget that: The emotion that motivated you to start this thread - is the activity of mind (of human). Thoughts that you wrote here - are the activity of mind. Your relief - activity of mind. Your conclusion that some kind of "problem" is "solved" - activity of mind. Your search - activity of mind. Confusion - activity of mind. Any ideas of "external" or "internal" or the abscence of both or whatever, any kind of ideas, conclusions, memories, thoughts, feelings - mind. What reads this and understands these symbols - mind. Even the thought about "mind" is just another idea, another object. Knowing and not knowing - mind. Thought that "you are nothingness" - it is just another thought, another object, mind again. It is human who is thinking. What is the most real right now, right here? Not an object. But the most real in the most now? Riiight now. Not a thought, not an experience, not a vision, not a feeling. I don't know, this is the question that I ask myself.

This sounds very philosophical, not my strong spot but this is interesting. A thought is energy, its energy in your mind and body that you put into language and becomes a thought. If you hold a certain type of energy for long you will have thoughts that come one after the other that are on the same energy level. I like what you said. From my perspective - if thoughts are energy (like anything else that is physical) then when it fades (or there isnt too much energy to distract you from who you really are) then there is nothingness. But then again, energy never really dies, it just takes on another form. So are we energy or nothingness? I'm confusing myself now

@DizIzMikey Nothingness. The boundary between the internal and external is an illusion. We just say those things because of the limitations of language. There is only one being.