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burn burn burn the ego. the fire is the only progress on the path. scream as your detachments fall away into nothing. This is how you find god. Through crucifixion. Part of the process. I think it's worth it but I really have no idea. Just enjoy it. Sing along to these songs, and try not get stuck in indulging in negative emotional patterns for there own sake. Stay equanimous with whatevers happening. Don't try and feel worse thinking it's progress. My first contact with the fire was after reading jedmckennas book. It's a pretty powerful igniter. Anyway - my tip is always lean into your edge. Dissolving the self structure can hurt and the reason most people don't is because there scared. If anyone has had a bliss experiance they know on some level they are denying it. They could be experiancing unity but instead they are chosing eating a donut, waiting for a football game nextweek, or whatever the goods of life are for them as an indiviuated self. Real practice is to lean into your edge, pushing yourself as much as you can into the fire. and allowing yourself to feel the pain when you are chosing less than god. When you are rolling around in the pig mud of life as a small little self, enjoy yourself, really get into it. but know what you are doing. Allow yourself to feel the pain that you are living life less deeply than you know is true of your deepest heart. when you stay with your day to day experiance and realize wow I really am chosing this over truth it's tapas, it burns away samskaras. As long as you don't back way off from the truth you'll find your way back into practice and deeper realisation by feeling the pain of your own bullshit. So theres two pains. 1) the little pain of knowing you are wasting your life 2) The big pain of destroying your ego and probably a lot of the things it built and valued in the progress Is it worth it. I dunno, not enlightened but so far happier for the rough times in this process and a lot of teachers seem to think so. Also i guess why i posted songs about it is find the humor in it. It's all good.

I have had several, all profoundly transformative. I do not call them enlightening though. I simply do not name them, as these are just concepts, terms that one can interpret, mystify, or question, plus, Ego is very smart and can slide through the back door very easily Last one, a few days ago, I've experienced PURE BLISS for a whole day. I tried to write down what I was feeling, but now realize, again, these words have been so trashed by mass "understanding" that they have no value at mind level. Anyway, here is what I wrote at the time:

"These tiny enclosures, these boundaries and fences, have troubled man too much. In three thousand years, five thousand wars have been fought. In the past when they fought wars with bows and arrows it was okay, there was not much harm done; if a few people died there was no problem. But now war is total war. Now, it is the suicide of all of mankind. Now, the whole place can become a Hiroshima - any day, at any moment.. Consider the horror of such a war and think of how much energy is going into it. This same energy could fill the entire earth with greenery, could fill it with prosperity. For the first time man could dance absorbed in bliss, could sing songs of ecstasy, could follow the quest of meditation. But this will not happen. Your so-called patriots, these nationalists.." ~OSHO I don't think people's nationality matters to me more than their haircut. What does matter is if they're dogmatic in regard to any subject: religion, race, philosophy to the point of manifesting it to me by agression, placing judgement and trying to make me act against my will. Like some meme says: Belief is like penis - It's perfectly fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. Waving might be not that harmful, but if I make a drawing and say it's a Mahomet or let's say the flag of my country - I may suffer physically, because in some person's perception I profaned sacred/national symbol of the virtue he/she sees in it. All these symbols are protected against criticism and making fun of one is judged by big part of the society as immoral, etc. That is double standard.

To make it clear: It's not that I'm thinking actively about this and feel good about it. More like a silence of bliss that follows when giving this perspective a chance.