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Hi guys, so this is my first post on the forum. So it seems like throughout my life I've made very few real social connections in my life. There are people that I've talked to out of convenience and for a long time I searched for people I could really connect with and form long lasting bonds with, However, even with my closer friends and relationships, they all seems to eventually fizzle out into nothingness. All of my experiences have left me in a state of half not wanting to try because the end result will be the same anyway and half wishing that I could make at least one genuine connection with someone even if only on a normal friendship level. I am very comfortable being on my own but I am very aware of the limits of trying to do everything by yourself. Though I don't want to be around people that hold me back either. Conflicting huh? lol I just wanted to know if anyone else on here have experienced this and overcome this issue somehow.

Hey. So I've done a summary of "Ten Bulls of Zen" (resource: https://beingwithoutself.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/tenoxpics.pdf) and it's still really hard to conceptualize it as it's extremely subtle. @Leo Gura and others who are familiar with this map, could you look at my summary and check if I get the definitions of Man, Ox and The Source correctly as well as the meaning of stages? When does Enlightenment happens exactly? Does it happen in the Stage 6 or Stage 8, or in other? Here's how I understand it: Man - "You" (Later evolves to "Spiritual You", then "Nothingness", then "Buddha") ? Ox - The teachings and practices of Enlightenment ? Source - Life is serving itself ? 1. Seeking Ox: Ego searches for the escape out of suffering (a.k.a. for True Self), but it's lost, all paths seems to lead to an dead-end. 2. Seeing Traces: Ego finds the hints of it's True Self in teachings. The right direction has been found. All is one? Where is the True Self? Starts inquiry. 3. Finding Ox: True Self is encountered. Taste of Enlightenment. 4. Catching Ox: Chasing the experiences of Enlightenment. Strong discord between Illusion and Truth arises taking you to the very heights and to the very depths of your mind. Easy to get into old ways. 5.Taming Ox: Ego and True Self go together with little resistance. Switching back and forth? With the proper tending, True Self follows of it's own accord. It is confirmed that it's not something you do, but something you are. 6. Returning Home, Riding Ox: Ego and True Self goes together with ease. The suffering is over. Peace of mind has been acquired. In the beginning every path lead to a dead-end, now every path leads home. No turning back. 7. Ox Forgotten, Man Remains: The teachings and practices has been transcended. They're no longer serving the Spiritual Ego. You're one with all and always were. Your life becomes meditation. No conflicting truths. 8. Man and Ox Both Forgotten: Enlightenment? "Spiritual You" disappear. State of Nothingness. Nothing to do. 9. Return to Origin, Back at Source: Life is observing itself. Life naturally starts to expressing itself for compassion. 10. Entering Market with Open Hands: Selfless service without a though of following such tracks. Not even an intent of saving others - life serves itself naturally. Free to care no strings attached. Note: Do not hang up on the portrayal of the stages, they are arbitrary. Everyone must go through themselves, no two paths are the same. However, the depictions and description are helpful signposts to warn us along the Way.

:)) If you know, that something happens, then you are aware of it. If you know, that you are walking to the bus stop, then you are aware of it. If you are so deeply submerged in your thoughts that you don't know what's happening around you, then all you know is thoughts, but you are perfectly aware of your thoughts. You see, awareness is always there, you cannot do anything to maintain it. Awareness is simply your reality in the here and now. And you are all of it! Look forward to the moment when you lose all your awareness, because that's the moment when your reality becomes Nothingness itself. That is an enlightenment experience!

Found an amazing read of experiences http://www.dmtsite.com/5-meo-dmt/experience/descriptions.html One in particular got me thinking, maybe when you take 5-meo you basically go back to singularity, and re-live and see the whole universe re-create itself as you visualize it into existence once again when coming down from the peak. It always fascinated me how everything eventually dissolves into nothingness, you have to re-create it to go back to where you took off. If you never came back, how would you know? Does that reality even exist? or is it pure imagination of self? One things for certain, we all should be extremely proud and grateful for where we are today and what we have come to be aware of One Love

That's what i think Enlightenment simply is IMO, Full (Possibly all 3) forms of DMT endogenously released all at once which becomes a direct connection to pure consciousness. Awakenings could be merely small releases from time to time yet we think when it happens we become Enlightened fully. I'd Assume the more evolved the energetic pattern/soul/spirit whatever you want to call it, the greater/deeper one can go thus more one can release at once. Tibetan monks that tried DMT explain it as the state of "Bardo" The Realm between life and death. The furthest one can go without losing the ability to come back. Which some usually state is the 5th dimension, sometimes 6th and some individuals extremely rare case can hit 7th(so they say) What arises to the question for me is yeah i been there and all of that but then how do you explain the state of absolute infinity? When you are there you "Know" so to speak you are beyond all dimensions/densities and beyond everything in ultimate nothingness? The infinite state some 5-Meo users explain, you literally become god itself, creator consciousness, you see, feel, understand through everything and everyone in existence and beyond 100% of the time all at once in infinite infiniteness. - There are no words.. I've awoken in that state with Normal DMT as my intention was just that. To be one with the infinite creator and show me everything i am ready to see. After all the hypnotic visuals, vibrations, sacred geometry, fractals, entities and so on after i reached complete surrender. I guess this is what is called a breakthrough dose on the Nexus. Some say Abyss/Void ect.. Who know's but i feel this year will be an amazing year of light and discovery on a mass scale. Its only the beginning All is well

You can awaken from it permanently. To awaken from a dream is to realize it isn't real. But life will still continue because life isn't separate from nothingness. Nonduality includes duality. Of course that body/mind could kill itself or perhaps "ascend". There are many reports of people ascending. So that may be an option. But don't get ahead of yourself. Catch a glimpse of what you are first.

I would sometimes ponder "What would it be like if the universe didn't exist?". Intuitively, this should be within the realm of possibility. These sometimes triggered a sense of "nothingness" in my mind that scared the shit out of me. It was impossible to imagine nothingness... to imagine anything at all was "something"! As I grew older, I stopped being able to tap into that sense, or perhaps I forgot. But now as I journey into spirituality and self-actualization, I am hoping to rediscover that sense of nothingness.

@Loreena Wrong question!! but if you really want to answer it, the answer would be nothingness or emptiness.

Nothing can be added to it, nothing can be substracted from it (Tawhid). Given its infinite character: everything can be added to it, everything can be substracted from it? I'm wondering: are there realizations somewhere in infinity where it would mean exactly the opposite? From a singularity perspective to a duality perspective? Is there more than duality? Is there triality? So is there more to it than Nothingness and Everythingness and Singularity? Would this not be possible within infinity?

Paradox is fundamental. Existence is basically paradoxical. Lets see some examples. Existence is all that is out there, but it is also identical to the Self (consciousness) that's "in" here. The Self is everything, it is infinite, but it is also a tiny point of nothingness. The Self is pure emptiness, yet it is everything at the same time, there is no space in it. There is unity, yet there is diversity. The Self is changeless background which experiences change, yet it is change itself. The world is illusory, yet there is nothing as solid as that. Mind conceals our true nature, but its the mind that takes us back there. Knowledge is ignorance, yet knowledge itself brings us out of ignorance. Realization is effortless and most natural, easier than breathing, but it also take a lot of effort and is immensely difficult. A seeker seeks that which he already is. All there is, is perfection, yet we see all sorts of imperfections around us. I'm sure there must be many more such paradoxes. The mind blowing thing is that we can see through them. IMO, these arise out of the limitations of mind, which tries to desperately make sense out of something which is beyond its capability, and lands into the pit of paradox instead. Those who think that they will find a definite answer to the hard questions will be disappointed. The answers are paradoxical, and sometimes there are no answers. Paradox appears as a rule rather than as exception. It is perfectly ok, but our mind is uncomfortable with it. The realization that (almost) everything is paradoxical, self contradictory, must be an indication of something. What is that something?

The most important backfiring mechanisms have to do with the inner workings of your mind: Your modes of thinking, your emotional reactions, your fears, your motivations and values, your habitual behavior patterns, your beliefs and justifications, your paradigms of reality, etc. As a simple example, how might valuing sex or money or security backfire? As a more advanced example, how might valuing spirituality or enlightenment backfire? As a general rule of thumb, once a system reaches sufficient complexity, the greatest danger to its survival becomes a backfiring of itself. A sort of collapsing under its own weight. Which is why to reach the greatest heights requires shedding egoic material, or purification to the point of nothingness or spirit. The word "spirit" connotes lightness of mechanism, and this is a good pointer of what you should be working towards. To be conscious, it to be able to see how a mechanism truly works, and its backfire potential.

From the perspective of using 5meo, what if any difference is there between "infinity/God" and what is "nothingness/the void"?

I really do think everything is connected. I think that frequencies, geometry, music all are interconnected. They all are based on "somethingness and nothingness". Music would be nothing without silence. You need silence for rhythm in beats, songs etc. Geometry would be nothing without nothingness. You need to have the nothingness in which geometry can be shown. Same goes for frequencies. This list can continue to infinity. Life is one beautiful dance between these two opposites, which are actually two sides of the same coin.

@Dodoster Thats right. Moving forward and going back to what Leo was saying in his video on Naive Realism, when we go to work and lock the door behind us and walk away, is your house still there? Your mind says, "of course, stupid, its right behind you". But what's there? Possibly a void of nothingness. The only thing real is what's right in front of you in the present moment, from your personal experience. The house exists as a concept now, a thought. If you turn around to see if your house is still there...boom! There it is. But something comes out of nothing, so.....maybe I'm just taking for granted that objects exist when not in my direct experience.

You may of heard the word Shiva, and may have a idea or something that springs to mind when you hear that word. I am going to shed some light, on this. Shiva, means that which is not. Its refering to The Nothingness everyone keeps on talking about. Shiva is that which has always been, and always will be, the very womb of existence. Without the earth, there is no human & animal life, Without the sun, there is no earth, Without our solar system, there is no sun, Without the universe there is no solar system, Without shiva there is no universe. It is everything. Who knows what eles is out there, who knows what other planets other life forms inhabit, how far does this stretch out to, does it go on forever? Never stops! And there are infinite planets & suns and life forms. I don't know. What I do know is shiva goes on forever and ever, because it is without form, so what could limit it. A limit is something that applies only to form. Limited in shape, size, duration and so on. But nothing? Well you figure it out for your self. Shiva is described as darkness, the reason being for this is, light is finite, a lightbulb and even the sun, will eventually die out, even something as powerful as the sun is still limited, to time. And will eventually lose its ability to give out light. So based on this quite Logical reasoning, its described as a infinite empty darkness. I wouldn't get to caught up on that though because your mind will create a image, and that which is imageless, can't be limited to a thought of darkness. it is that which everything manifest from, and that which all manifestations fall back into. Many words have been given, to this God, Tao, absolute ect. So every master is one who knows himself/herself as a expression of the devine shiva, And imbodies that consciousness, shiva consciousness, Christ consciousness, buddha mind and so on. You get the point. And when one has ego death meaning they literally, lose there experience of being themselves, they then know themselves as the infinite without question because they are it. Shiva also refers to a yogi who knew himself as the devine, thousands of years ago, but I won't go into that in this post. I have to give credit, to sadhguru who I learn this stuff from in a little ebook I was reading this morning, and I gave my own little twist on it. Hope you liked it. Peace

I know to the mind's eye this picture looks bleak, But it wasn't that way at all. Like I said it felt as if it was the source of everything. It felt like home. I remember when I experienced this void or nothingness that all questions fell away. It was if it knew everything and everything was taken care of. It was the most blissful thing I ever experienced. It was communicating with me without saying a word. What was it saying to me? "Don't worry, I got this" "I always have and always will"

@Visionary Yea, that's what I was thinking too, but I'm not sure. And I have experienced something that could be considered "the void" before on two occasions. It was empty, timeless and infinite. But it had a quality to it that is indescribable in words and it seemed to be the source of all things.. But since this 5meo experience of infinity and God came along that leo talks about, where does the void fit in? I posted a picture once of what I thought infinity looked like (from my direct experience) and Leo shot that right down saying that no way is infinity like that and it was full of colors, and infinite and anything but empty and it was god. So what's the truth? I'll post that picture of what I experienced as "the infinite void". It's called the "shiny black nothingness" and that describes it perfectly.

No, it's not. It's Nothing. And Nothingness is the one eternal constant. Experience is Everything, and it's impermanent and ever changing.

@brovakhiinIt holds some value as a model of the physical universe based on string theory, but leaves majority of questions unanswered (at least for me, I have not studied it deeply). It brings up more questions, like - is there is 2D matter of which this space is made of? From where such matter came? where is that 2D "space"? If it is consciousness, then it must be directly observable. If we are consciousness essentially then we should be able to experience the Self as a 2D plane. But we experience ourselves as 0D, non-local, non-spatial and timeless nothingness or emptiness when we reach our core. Anyhow, if the computations can be reduced to a 2D math, there is a potential to simulate those too. If it is just math, it doesn't matter how it is described, it must be computed, or in other words, must be manifested only via a simulation. That's my uneducated guess anyway

@John Flores You are 100% correct. I was just reminded of this in meditation in a huge way. A porthole of sorts to the infinite opened up within awareness and I totally choked. It was absolute nothingness. It looked like darkness within darkness from my ego's perspective. Man was that empty! The mind totally refuses to accept that level of emptiness. And I just got a glimpse from the outside and that shocked me instantly back into myself and it was gone in the blink of an eye. I see one thing clearly now. Anybody who can willingly let go of the ego and voluntarily step over that threshold to face that level of emptiness that awaits deserves to be called enlightened. People could read and study enlightenment and learn all there is to know about it and talk about it all they want, but when it really comes down to getting there it's all about faith in something way bigger than you. Only total surrender of self and nothing else will help you than. In the face of that your totally on your own. Either you surrender everything that is you or the journey ends right there and you remain as you are. So bottom line, when infinity presented itself, I totally choked by holding on to myself in the face of becoming nothing, and therefore everything. I guess I wasn't ready for that!

Nothingness must exist exercise Sit comfortably and quietly, still your mind, and become aware of direct experience. Notice that Nothing must exist for you to be aware of something. Notice in your visual field that there has to be Nothing in front of the thing you actually see for you to see it. If there was "something" in front of the thing you were seeing you would see that "something" and not the something that you do actually see. Notice that In your audio field there must be Nothing for you to hear what you actually hear. If there was "something" you would hear that "something" instead of the something you do actually hear. When hearing silence there must also be Nothing for you to be aware of it. Notice that in your body Nothing must pervade and filter through all the sensations you feel or else if "something" pervaded and filtered through what you were feeling you would feel that "something" instead of what you actually feel. Finally, notice that in your mind, in that dimension in which you are aware of thoughts, that there must also be Nothing for you to be aware of the thoughts you are actually aware of, or else if there was "something" you would observe that "something" instead of the thought you do actually observe. Nothingness must exist for us to be aware of anything at all.

Okay... This is weird. I am either blind or there is really no new video yet... I would not be very happy if Leo accidentaly killed himself by a psychedelics overdose or got ubducted by aliens or hit by a car or... Naaah... It is probably just another patience test... (the) nothing shatters everything (These are my thoughts from a couple days ago). I can´t have it both ways... It´s not possible that the world is just arising and made up by me, who does not exist and that at the same time it´s made of stuff like particles. If it comes from nothing, then it´s nothing, it can´t be there and not be there at the same time. This makes no sense. I thought that it exists on ONE level, even if it is just that level in which I am seeing it and I do not know what is true for that level but that there is the level above this in which it´s contained... But it turns out there is no container or contained. There is neither just part of what I thought there/real/true nor is all of what I thought, nor is there both something there and not, nor none. I don´t know what "existing" even means after this. The words, my thinking tools can´t help me. I´m getting shivers... How can this view possibly be freeing when it just shatters and takes EVERYTHING you know from you? It does not even leave a color to imagine, to picture nothingness with. Yes, on the one hand it´s all magical and mystic but this gets a taste of mad, alone and unsafe too. If I make the physical world up then there is nothing and nobody around, if I even make myself up then that is creepy. If I make this up I am the creator and engineer and I don´t even know what the fuck I am doing. It´s NOT empowering and changes nothing about the fact that I will eat, drink, shit, sleep or at least perceive to do so. Or is this supposed to take the fear of loss and death and failiure from me? Or is it supposed to disattach me from every belief I could cling on? This makes me unable to really keep seeing the world like pretty much everyone around me. This is something I can´t even tell anyone about because they will finally have evidence that I am nuts and you know what? I think that is what is happening right now, I am going nuts. I can´t do anything rather than bump against the borders of my own system, of crushing it and I can´t stomach that this is even possible. I have absolutely opposite feelings about this. It´s the BEST and the WORST and I kind of don´t want to lean into what it makes me feel because I am SO, SO terribly confused. I am getting auto immune issues from this. No joke. Ahahaha... Okay reading this about one week later I am entertained...

It is so important, that we find a burning desire for liberation, that there is a longing, a calling even, In the very depths of your being. Its time we stop looking at it, as some great achievement, that only The Buddha, osho, sadguru and so many more attained, stop looking at them through a filtered perspective, like there celebrity's. Loads of fucking normal everyday joes, are waking up today! with technology being all pervasive in this generation, loads of enlightened people are able to point to something that they themselves, are conscious of. This isn't for the esoteric Anymore, this is available to anyone now. This is what everything is, its all one thing, and duality happens within this non duality, its a self aware reality we are experiencing. If we want to wake up, then we have to let everything go, empty our cup to make room for the new. clinging to your knowledge, past, and the way you think things are will keep your ego spinning its wheels for years and it will be a waste of time. Do what ever you have to do, if you need to take psychedelics, to have a ego death, then do it, drugs are here in this life for some reason. True liberation though is a experience of abiding in ego death, because, and I don't give a shit what your ego thinks, I am god and so are you, this is the deeper level of reality, the deeper truth, god is more of an IT rather than a he or she. And when I say the word god, that is then seen through a Filtered perception of the past, Pay attention. God is the entirety, off everything and reality's deepest layer is nothingness, thats what everything is. Including you, unless your somehow outside of everything, the ego sees even reality itself as separate from it, through a subject, object relationship. This is me, and this is reality, its not like that it is all one thing. Don't make nothingness into a object ,because then we separate it from everything, its just the true nature of things isn't physical, and its only intill you experience that for yourself, will you really know, don't make it into a belief, if you haven't experienced reality as non physical, then just be open to that possibility, (empty cup) Don't make your life into a proccess of accumulating knowledge, instead stay alert and empty and learn about life instead, that's the only way your going to get the new, and getting the new is your experience telling you how things are rather than story's and concepts, holding onto sentences like "all is one" ect doesn't mean shit, its the experience you are looking for, you will only know what you are once you are it! That's when its the real deal. Something Practical- Let your nose lead your vision from now on, by having your eyelids half way open, you will find the perfect position were you are viewing everything through the guide of the tip of your nose, it just takes a little attention, but don't forcefully focus on it, do it in the most relaxed way, and you will start to fill a pressure in your third eye ( forehead). Stay empty and let the light of non duality come in, this is something I heard from osho, many masters have figured this out, martin ball has also mentioned about the symmetry Of the non dual state of awareness. I can't tell you how to get there, because everyone is going to have a different story to tell, because variety is the spice of life and its much cooler for reality to experience itself in many different ways, (simultaneously) So everyone's at a different place, but we all need to eventually, know ourselves at the same place, we are already there anyway, most are just not conscious of it yet, its not anyone's fault, its not a bad thing its just the way things are at the moment, its got to be taken into our own hands now though because we have this wonderful opportunity, us as human have the capacity to increase our consciousness, and wake up! So let's do it! Anyone who has ever woken up to the unity of life, has never regret it. We have a few persistent beliefs that really make a difference, in our experience like Believing we a object, that reality is physical, that The Voice in our heads is us (fundamentally) There's so much to learn and you will be your own greatest guru by being completely honest with yourself, and really observing your experience, and self. We are all together.

I'm reading a book by Osho called the secret of secrets and in this book there is the following except: Just see the contradiction: emptiness and life. Life is male, emptiness is female. Life and emptiness – both are two aspects of the inner God. When you have not chosen either in pre-ference to the other, when you have not chosen at all – you have been just a watcher – you become that God whose one aspect is life and whose other aspect is death, whose one aspect is perfection and whose other aspect is nothingness. THEREFORE WHEN THE LIGHT CIRCULATES, THE ENERGIES OF THE WHOLE BODY APPEAR BEFORE ITS THRONE... And when the light moves inwards and circulates inside your being, because there is no outlet left.... That’s what meditation is. That’s what Buddha is doing under the Bodhi Tree. You sit silently, you close all the doors, and the light circulates within. Then for the first time you become aware of the body and all that the body contains – all its mysteries. This small body contains all the mysteries of the universe. It is a miniature cosmos. I don't understand the bolded part. What is Osho trying to tell us to do in his book? Not get attached to either emptiness or phenomena in our meditation practices? "because there is no outer left" does that mean when there is no attachment left thoughts just circulate aimlessly around and that's good for some reason? A little confused... thanks!

Are you saying that consciousness/awareness/nothingness/ is just imagining/thinking of stuff and the stuff it thinks about is reality? As if nothingness is sort of dreaming all this stuff up and that includes us and therefore we are part of the dream. This also means that we in the dream don't realise we're in a dream. This would explain why stuff feels solid because just like in a sleeping dream where we think that the objects we touch are solid, so too do the objects in this dream feel solid. I think the problem in this discussion is the lack of a definition of the word real. When you say that reality isn't real do you really mean that it isn't physical? Even if it's not physical it can still be real.