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Consciousness doesn't really exist. It only appears to exist in the Absolute nothingness. I am nothing, you are nothing and awareness is also nothing. There is indeed no perceiver to be found. But we are not a perception, because if we are a perception there has to be a perceiver. What 'we' are is the same consciousness/nothingness as the Absolute. Our minds don't really 'know' anything for there isn't anything to be known, the mind can throw some vague concepts around trying to define this consciousness but it cannot. And how could it? These seeming thoughts appear in the thing that it's trying to define. It's like a single cell in your big toe trying to define what the human body is, it can't be done because it can never see past the toe.

Meh, that's kind of dogmatic. You might want to ease that stance a little, so you don't miss out on nuance. I'm assuming that was just an off-the-cuff response? Yes, when it comes to sharing information there are limits, in a lot of ways we can only be a reference for each other in that respect. Definitions without self-referential experience to connect to, won't have much practical application as it is, but in this case the definition, in and of itself isn't the problem. The issue lies in what action people choose in response. There is a difference between using another as a reference or answer that replaces or substitutes the transfer of understanding that comes with involvement and experience, versus using another as a reference for gaining perspective on how to enhance and enrich the developmental process in concert with an actual practice. It's helpful to have some one point out structures behind the mind, that over time they can work to sensitize themselves to. And just as precious, is sharing structures of accountability and self-balancing that protects the integrity of continued development. I assume that's what you attempt with your videos in a way? Anyways, speaking of limitations or barriers, Bruno, it is also very important to work on becoming aware of limitation and learning from it. Gaining nuance with your own personal, dynamic, context-sensitive, "ceiling and floor". Some people feel limitation and respond with frustration, despair, anger, but it can also be precious, and enlightening (I don't mean no-self enlightenment here, I mean clarity). For instance my internal awareness is so deep and sensitive, that I can pick up on very fragile things going on inside my body. However, placing my awareness directly on those things, causes damage, making me sick. Why? It's because awareness in and of itself has a weight to it, like how you can feel the weight of a person's eyes/gaze on you even with your eyes closed. That weight can disrupt or distort the integrity of those fragile things structures and patterns of movement. So, with that experience we learn that even awareness has limitations, but those limitations don't necessarily mean loss, but instead an opportunity for trust and synergy with another part of who we are. Instead of trying to be directly aware in isolation, I mediate the weight of my awareness, through multi-dimensionality and contrast. Connecting with the larger structure they're a part of and gaining deeper understanding indirectly, from the inter-relations going on within that structure. Actually here is a video that better describes the patterns and structures inherent to seemingly invisible things, that are made visible via contrast. Contrast in this case, being the use of salt or sand to create a chain of inter-relation with the vibrational frequencies to make visible, what we could not directly perceive in isolation. Much like dusting for prints, it is the synergy and contrast of the dust and skin-oil that affords us the opportunity to be more aware. In a similar way, this is how I learned and gained capability with 12/? of the invisible structures I balance at all times that work behind and in concert with "thinking". Relating with how they all work and depend on each other, provides me an inexhaustible supply of growth experiences that changes and develops as I change and develop, creating momentum of synergy. See, it is experiencing these kinds of realities first-hand which make me shake my head at people who dismiss difference and contrast. People who say that all there is, is nothingness or everything is an illusion. That's a fucking ignorant and irresponsible stance. Even the void has a purpose and creates contrast when it inter-relates with everything else. It's a dielectric material. The universe is filled with different patterns of motion and shape and they all interact and have different chemistries with each other. For instance, notice how in the video the higher the frequency the greater the complexity of shape, but also how that complexity impacts uniformity. Notice where the the thickest lines are, how the rising and falling of motion affects the activity of the salt and the porousness of shape. Which area's have the highest zones of activity and which don't. There are principles of reality and nature and working with ourselves right there for people to understand, if we take the time to feel out how these interactions work together and inter-relate. Everything has a shape or pattern, even thoughts. Each thought also has a patterned chemical cascade, which plays a part in supporting it's integrity of shape and fidelity of expression. Why lose out on all that beautiful nuance and detail with an extreme or ignorant stance? I hope this helps.

@Greatnestwithin Good, when you do not find yourself while inquiry remember that you are not failing. Remember, who You are is pure infinite nothingness, and this is quite impossible for the mind to grasp as it can only grasp somethingness, it cannot grasp nothingness, it wasn't made to. Leo explains this very beautifully in his Enlightenment Guided Inquiry @ 55:00. I definitely recommend you to watch it if you haven't https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq4NDMNDzSs A self realized person would see life and death as an illusion because he would realize that "he" was never alive to begin with, ever. The body and mind was active, sure, however, there was really no one that operated it, and ever will. A self realized person when coming to "his" demise would not flinch an ounce of fear when death arrives of the mind and body, for he has already realized the very nature of one's self and reality. That you are the Infinite, Divine, that the body/mind experiences from. There is no more identification with the body/mind, only to the divine nothingness, so then what is death of the body/mind mean to the self realized person? Yeah, it means nothing! Aha!

Hi, I'm wondering if anyone can help understand how the subconscious relates to the authentic, true self. For a long time I have been in the process of tweaking and refining both my lists of top values and strengths as well as my life purpose statement. Every time I feel something click on the "inside", I feel like I'm making progress. In my head I'm conceptualising this as trying out different thoughts and theories and "checking" them against my subconscious, looking for the "gut reaction" or intuitive understanding I'm on the right track. However, I've also read a lot about how your subconscious seems to be largely constructed from your own life experience and can be re-programmed, through various mind techniques (which I've also been practicing), which makes me wonder, am I "checking" for a gut reaction or intuition against some sort of arbitrary state of thoughts / currently buried in my subconscious? I guess my questions are: 1. Is the subconscious where intuition or that "gut feeling" comes from, or does that come from somewhere deeper, like your "true self" or "highest self"? If the subconscious is constructed on the fly and prone to change, then it does not seem to me like a source of truth. The subconscious also seems likely to harbour as many negative thoughts as positive, if not more so. 2. Does the feeling of knowing your life purpose and your top values ultimately come from being in tune with your subconscious, which just happens to be configured to be a certain way, at a certain point in time? Or, are your values and purpose resonating with you on a more spiritual level, stemming from your authentic self - the true self that is essentially nothingness? Is there a distinction to be made between what's "true" for the body / mind and then a higher level of truth which does not care about life purpose or values? 3. What is the relationship between the subconscious and the true, authentic self? Does anyone have any insight into what kind of role the subconscious mind would play in the life of an enlightened person, or how it might operate? Would it operate in the same manner as it does for an unenlightened person, or would it simply be reduced to purely managing the workings of the body; digestion, heartbeat, breathing etc.? I've been struggling for a while to reconcile these questions, any help would be greatly appreciated!

@governor Dharma means the Buddah nature as far as I'm concerned. From what I understand we need an embodiment in human form, because how can "nothingness" be otherwise expressed of it were not through a teacher?

The ability of the brain to create objects within awareness from raw data (sight, smell, touch, etc) is so fundamental to truly understanding the breadth and scope of awareness itself. As an experiment, do the following: 1) Pick a mug 2) Now describe the mug using as many adjectives as you can (hard, shiny, smooth, etc) 3) Now, ask yourself: "Are any of the words I used to describe the mug an objective description of the mug?" Most people would agree that a mug is hard, but that is not objectively true -- from the perspective of someone that works with titanium drill bits all day, a mug is soft. From the the perspective of someone that makes disco-balls, a mug is rather dull in its appearance. Notions of soft/hard, shiny/dull, smooth/rough, light/heavy are all dependent on your frame of reference (and how your brain is currently wired). In fact, you can easily adopt the view that a mug is soft: imagine it just crumbling under the weight of a 10 tonne steel block. This view is no more false than the idea that a mug is hard! But here is where the interesting part comes in... Since a mug can be described as hard or soft, which is it? Both? Neither? What starts to emerge is that there are an infinite amount of ways to describe a mug. At the same time, the mug is objectively none of these things -- that is, the mug is in reality 'empty', only taking on characteristics once a mind comes along and gives it 'life', so to speak. To truly understand this is to see nothingness and infinity in a flower -- it is the ability to hold paradox in ones mind without cognitive dissonance. To truly understand this is to see how your own mind is sitting in a particular frame of reference to the world. Hard mode: Is the object you call a mug, really a mug? What is the purpose of a mug? To a young child, maybe it is a cave for a toy dinosaur? Which one is true? Play.

Awareness also only exist at the present moment. It exists only after the senses and thoughts. Without a sense, will you have the awareness which know the sense? They happened as cause and effect nature. Awareness has to be trained. So that later it appears naturally right after all the senses and thoughts. In enlightenment experience, that awareness sees everything is not permanent and also sees itself that it is also not a permanent nature. So the mind prepare itself to let go of everything. Then.... become NOTHINGNESS.

Why are we talking about all these? Nothing has a form, form is empty... this forum is emptiness Enjoy the nothingness of the forum Oooooohhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Good question! But no, don't worry that when awareness rises you will feel more shitty. It's the opposite. It might seem that way if you just think about it logically - like you do - but it is more like this: When awareness rises you literally become aware that everything you do is like a play. Sometimes you play the "good" side (when you are in your higher self and for example learning you for studies) and sometimes you play the "bad" side (when you are in your lower self and for example smoking pot while binging on ice cream and watching a netflix marathon). Not only your action separates in these categories (good / bad - white / black) but everything goes on in a similar way. For example you try to live your whole life (very passionately) not to die, because you have the sense in you that dying is something that just mustn't happen. Through awareness you begin to acknowledge how everything can bee seen as games, cycles and similar patterns. Not only that, but you also begin to see how you began to involve yourself so passionately in trying to make the one side win that now you are terribly afraid that black might win. Moreover, you know back in your mind that black will win in the end so you structure your whole life to get so involved in all kind of bullshit (other games) so that you don't have to face the fact that black wins in the end. And you just make too much of it. Awareness shows you that you are nothingness, incarnating itself in all kind of different games and patterns and that you are white and black, life and death and really can't die. If you begin to see that, you might still come across pains but it won't fuck with your head any more. It is by far one of the most cleansing and nice things to experience that you as the great self are immortal. It feels like being let out of yourself. And now ask yourself this: Isn't that really what you try to accomplish with all your bullshit involvements you make in your life? Cheers from Berlin,

During a SN Goenka vipassana retreat last week I experienced something very new for me. I was lost in unconscioussness, sleepyness and completely insane thoughs during a morning meditation. Suddenly a though popped and there was no reaction to it. As it dropped back to nothing I 'latched on' to it and dropped with it. At first nothingness seemed really far away but then just miliseconds after it was right at my face. Then for what seemed like 3 seconds my experience resumed itself to whiteness, silence, discrete joy and immense peace. No body, no world. Then body came back, and with it extreme contraction back into it. This left me excited and puzzled, very much. I wanted some feedback on this. How can I interpret this? Can I hold myself in that space for longer? Can I recicle this event for more growth? Thank you for your time

@Lorenzo Engel I can relate to that experience. It may be that the mind transcends all thought. Mind comes to a dead stop and only awareness remains. You can actually watch a thought coming out of nothingness and arising into consciousness like a bubble. It is a very blissful state of mind being at rest. Sometimes it is referred to as the state of Samadhi.

actually the idea of no self should be dropped, its an idea, a thought, a philosophy, it serves no good purpose. its about experiencing ones core being, what is your core being, it is the source of life, the creator of all things, the ground of all being, all knowing, all powerful, it should never be looked at as nothingness or no self, because it is all there is, everything else arises out of that.

@Bronsoval After life is all depending on your nature of this life. Did Leo say it's nothingness after life? Maybe he meant something else. All physical existences and mental existences are supporting each other and happening together at the same time. For example, your body is changing as well as your mind. When a person is stressful, his body is also affected by his mind and causes illness. Also both body and mind are happening or renewing again and again according to cause and effect nature. If there's a cause, there will be an effect. Every mental state, Buddhist called Nama and physical state will appear at the same time depending on each other. The quality of mind and body must be equal. If not the weaker state will adjust to be equal to the stronger state. For example, if stress level is stronger, body will also turn stressful and weaker. If the mind is happy and full of energy, body will also be energized. Or if the body is very sick, a person will be stressful if his mind isn't strong enough to lift the physical state up. That's the connection between body and mind and how they are supporting each other. So... when the body is very weak to the point where it cannot continue to renew with mental states or mental state is just to weak or stronger than physical state, a person dies. Because the mental state has to seek another physical body that fits well. By the way, we also should know that there is no distance or separation in this universe. So don't be thinking how the mind travel. So... as soon as a person dies, his mind will attach to some other physical body that fits well with the nature of the mind. That way, a human can become an animal or human again or something higher in the universe. Christian refers as angel, Buddhism refers to other beings in universe. You're responsible for everything you have now.

I would like to challenge the idea of nothingness after life. According to Leo, afterlife is the same as pre life, nothingness. This, I think, is based on the lack of information we can recall about pre life. Inability to remember an experience does not negate the experience.

Negative voice and emotion = fictional ego...the thought that helps you to solve problems, go for your life purpose, go for transendence morality, seek for enlightenment that is coming from the "everythingness" and "nothingness" is your true self. This is what "you" call being enlightened. In the end, "you" want to contribute to peace in this world. Having enlightenment experiences is different from being enlightened. Enlightenment experiences are outer body experiences or any wisdom that you get that gives out of the ordinary/meaningful info in life. It helps you understand your fictional ego. This is what Leo's clips are about. Nice story @Philip. I like your story on the ego.

be your own teacher, there is a master awaiting you within yourself, unleash it, this idea of nothingness, and no self, i would drop that nonsense too, the real you is all knowing, all power, ageless, experience your core being more and more, everything you need is there. following others is a long journey to no where most often, cut your own trail, your destination is self realization, don't let other people hold you back with their ideas of what you need.

Thinking is still here but you don t identify with it. It Is just belonging to the body/mind phenomenal world. It Is not of your concern anymore. Connect with the nothingness of your being. The one wich is calling your dead thinking conceptual mind to wake-up. Let it be. Stop associating the Truth with the non-thinking or meditation.

The only difference between this moment and "nothingness" is the direct experience. What I mean by direct experience is the physical senses, with no meaning (of the neuronal paths) attached. In other words, remove what it is felt through body and what it is thought through mind. That is nothingness... and that is who you really are

I learn something from every post I read... or better said, I unlearn everything that was programmed randomly in my idea of my self. That what you are saying sounds correct to me... the thing is that I think (I didn't experience it yet) that once you arrive to that point (it is also true that there's no point to arrive) you won't need to build anything. You will find yourself. But that's my opinion, we have to experience it and to do it, we have to go to the nothingness you were talking about. :-)

@abrakamowse Well I dont know anything about the real self.. Kinda get the feeling that just being is better than looking for the true self.. To be , do we just need to strip everything away and then start from scratch consciously??Really cautious about listening to a devine or higher self.. I would just be happy If I could get back to nothingness and build on that.. whatever it is that is deeper than that .. well Ill deal with that when I get there.. Seems pretty evolutionary.. I imagine once I get there Ill know what to do.. I dont really want to get somewhere, I just want to go.. if that makes any sense??

Maybe you came across this on the internet since it's kinda going viral. Beautiful short story. http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html The Egg By: Andy Weir You were on your way home when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me. And that’s when you met me. “What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?” “You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words. “There was a… a truck and it was skidding…” “Yup,” I said. “I… I died?” “Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said. You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?” “More or less,” I said. “Are you god?” You asked. “Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.” “My kids… my wife,” you said. “What about them?” “Will they be all right?” “That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.” You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty. “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.” “Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?” “Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.” “Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,” “All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.” You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?” “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.” “So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.” “Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.” I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had. “You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.” “How many times have I been reincarnated, then?” “Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.” “Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?” “Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.” “Where you come from?” You said. “Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.” “Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.” “Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.” “So what’s the point of it all?” “Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?” “Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted. I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.” “You mean mankind? You want us to mature?” “No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.” “Just me? What about everyone else?” “There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.” You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…” “All you. Different incarnations of you.” “Wait. I’m everyone!?” “Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back. “I’m every human being who ever lived?” “Or who will ever live, yes.” “I’m Abraham Lincoln?” “And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added. “I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled. “And you’re the millions he killed.” “I’m Jesus?” “And you’re everyone who followed him.” You fell silent. “Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.” You thought for a long time. “Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?” “Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.” “Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?” “No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.” “So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…” “An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.” And I sent you on your way.

Well "enlightenment" as it seems to be understood around here is about there being no-self and thoughts/beliefs are illusions or the enemy and what you want is "nothingness". Their idea of enlightenment is based on pushing away and disconnecting from thoughts, identification, internalization, and self-reference in order to maintain that void (that's their aim of course, yet despite that, they still have beliefs about belief being an illusion and self-identify as not having an identity. It's cognitively inconsistent if you ask me). That is extreme and one-dimensional, taking the pendulum all the way to one side, rather than working on being capable with the pendulum, so you can chose which direction it swings and the degree of swing along whatever direction chosen. In this case, the pendulum being the ability to choose the degree of void and the degree of attachment. That degree, is being capable with attraction and repulsion and being capable with the ability to hold the tension of attraction and repulsion as it pulls you one way or another. So rather than being afraid of thoughts, beliefs, the self you can differentiate the natural pulls and pushes that arise from the chemistry of our bodies and share that space with your own choices. That road is more expansive than "enlightenment". You're healthier, more expressive, capable, have greater choice, and deeper connections. You can build rather than just, reject, reject, and sit there in a void, that ends up dissipating anyways for them, because the greater the emotional intensity, the greater the charge of attraction, and real life is stronger than any practice of mental rejection (the void is actually a gap or vaccum that happens when your mind isn't fused/immersed within a thought).

http://nautil.us/issue/16/nothingness/this-is-your-brain-on-silence Key points....... One of the researchers who’s examined this question is a Duke University regenerative biologist, Imke Kirste. Like Bernardi, Kirste wasn’t trying to study silence at all. In 2013, she was examining the effects of sounds in the brains of adult mice. Her experiment exposed four groups of mice to various auditory stimuli: music, baby mouse calls, white noise, and silence. She expected that baby mouse calls, as a form of communication, might prompt the development of new brain cells. Like Bernardi, she thought of silence as a control that wouldn’t produce an effect. As it turned out, even though all the sounds had short-term neurological effects, not one of them had a lasting impact. Yet to her great surprise, Kirste found that two hours of silence per day prompted cell development in the hippocampus, the brain region related to the formation of memory, involving the senses. This was deeply puzzling: The total absence of input was having a more pronounced effect than any sort of input tested. Here’s how Kirste made sense of the results. She knew that “environmental enrichment,” like the introduction of toys or fellow mice, encouraged the development of neurons because they challenged the brains of mice. Perhaps the total absence of sound may have been so artificial, she reasoned—so alarming, even—that it prompted a higher level of sensitivity or alertness in the mice. Neurogenesis could be an adaptive response to uncanny quiet. The growth of new cells in the brain doesn’t always have health benefits. But in this case, Kirste says that the cells seemed to become functioning neurons. “We saw that silence is really helping the new generated cells to differentiate into neurons, and integrate into the system.” ------ In 2001, Raichle and his colleagues published a seminal paper that defined a “default mode” of brain function—situated in the prefrontal cortex, active in cognitive actions—implying a “resting” brain is perpetually active, gathering and evaluating information. Focused attention, in fact, curtails this scanning activity. The default mode, Raichle and company argued, has “rather obvious evolutionary significance.” Detecting predators, for example, should happen automatically, and not require additional intention and energy. Follow-up research has shown the default mode is also enlisted in self-reflection. In 2013, in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, Joseph Moran and colleagues wrote the brain’s default mode network “is observed most closely during the psychological task of reflecting on one’s personalities and characteristics (self-reflection), rather than during self-recognition, thinking of the self-concept, or thinking about self-esteem, for example.” During this time when the brain rests quietly, wrote Moran and colleagues, our brains integrate external and internal information into “a conscious workspace.” Freedom from noise and goal-directed tasks, it appears, unites the quiet without and within, allowing our conscious workspace to do its thing, to weave ourselves into the world, to discover where we fit in. That’s the power of silence.

@Telepresent Great post, thank you! See the thing is, I think the I in that statement is secondary. It's unnecessary. The moment can exist just as it is without needing to project oneself into it. The focus of that statement is more on the Being aspect of it. "Am" implies present moment and exists without precept. Yeah, this is one of the things that I've thought about quite a bit. There is the illusory nature of time that includes past and present in its context. For example, a weather forecast may say that it will rain at 3 PM today, but that is not real, it is a prediction/projection. I can think about what I had for breakfast this morning, but again that is a memory which can only exist as a conceptualization. So then that leaves us with this moment, in which reality occurs. cetus56 brought up a great point that these are all actually snapshots that are strung together which I hadn't thought about before. But this idea of time becomes convoluted because I also have to think about the difference between what is real in the moment. An object is tangible, so we call it real. A thought is intangible, so it is not real. I can think about a microwave and conceptualize it, but I can't use that thought to heat my food. I need the real object to do that. I'm going off on a tangent again haha Because if you are clinging on to any one moment then that is already in the past. It is experiencing each thing without holding onto any one thing. This is exactly it. It got rid of unnecessary emotional baggage. More importantly it turned my actions from a means to an end to an end in and of themselves. By not being so attached to a vision of the future, I can focus more fully on what is right in front of me. I still have goals that I'm working towards, but I'm not as concerned about the fruits of the labor anymore. Well, I guess that is the next question that I have to focus on because it is essentially the same as asking, "what is reality?" All I can say about that is, reality just is. Hahah very unsatisfactory answer I'm sure, but I don't think there's any way to describe what is real. I can describe what the plant in front of me looks like, but anything I can say is only a concept. The plant is the truth in and of itself. To think about it another way, it is like the park bench scene in Good Will Hunting. Robin Williams' character says something along the lines of "you have read about the Sistine Chapel, but can you tell me what it smells like?" There is no description for reality. Nothing that can fully capture the essence of what is true. This is an excellent point. If we are holding that reality must be constant, then the only answer for that is a paradoxical one: nothing is constant. Everything changes. The only constant that can be is nothingness. Holy shit. Oh my. If everything is changing, then the only thing that is unchanging is nothing. Yeah, I think without realizing it that is exactly what I was trying to do.

No, please don't apologise: it's a heck of a wall to be knocking your head against! A biggie, and I'm not nearly through it myself. In a similar way, I'm knocking my head against "I", which is probably why I keep focusing on that part of the discussion! Probably they're related. The struggle I have with "I am" = the present moment is that there's still (in my head, at least) an implicit element of distillation/separation in the use of the word "I". Always a label, always an idea. But then it's pretty much impossible to write about without doing that, so... yeah... Have you addressed time at all? As in, have you clarified for yourself what time IS? What it actually is, versus what most people think it is? Again, being and thinking are very different things, and time resides almost entirely in memory and future projection. The reason I ask this is because Now means different things to different people, and I'm trying to gauge what your meaning/understanding/definition of Now is. I think a lot of people fall into Now being a moment in time (hence the question "how can we remain in the moment if it's always slipping away?") But I wonder if you've already dealt with that, seeing as you state: Once I recognised - really recognised - that my concept of future was imaginary, and my concept of past was memory and no longer real, I calmed a great deal. I wonder if you've done the same? However, there's a third note to hit: what is Now? What is the moment? I'm still batting that around and I'm happy to keep knocking ideas about, but alas can't give a quick answer! But let's look at a couple of things you've said. Great, cool: we have a constant, and we're calling it Now. What I'm investigating right now (no pun intended ) is "what is Now, and what is not Now?" It can be very easy to look around and go "well everything that's here/happening is now, isn't it?" But you've identified Now/the moment as a constant, and that means that almost everything (if not, in fact, everything you perceive) CANNOT BE THE CORE OF NOW, because they are all temporary. So - for me - it's a question of stripping away again: take away everything that arises and disappears, and what is left? (I recently started a thread called 'Energy' which addresses one of my thoughts about this) But to return to your very first question: Maybe I'm interpreting you wrongly, and you're actually ahead of the things I've just written, but if not I wonder whether asking if "nothingness" and this moment are the same thing, is putting the cart before the horse. One of the perennial issues I find in this work is a desire to understand, understand, understand: "is this that?", "oh, does that mean XYZ?" and so on. Questions that are very useful as a process of inquiry, BUT if you actually get given an answer, then things may halt in their tracks. I wonder here if you're asking this because you are striving to understand "nothingness"? Trying to define it? And if so, my only suggestion would be to focus on getting to the truth of what this moment is. Once you have the truth of it, you will know whether or not it is the same as "nothingness". And if not... well, there'll be a new question to ask!