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Nostalgia is one of the greatest highs ever that we are seeking! We fondly remember our childhoods and we see our childhoods as a Golden Age that was a time of innocence and a time of confidence. I will write the best days and moments in my life that left a profound impact on me! I am deeply grateful for these moments and how they inspired my life. 1. The greatest moment in my life was on Christmas Day 2014 in San Francisco. I was sitting on the dock of the bay and it was a beautiful sunny day and I feel completely blissful and deeply relaxed. I was immersed in the beauty of the moment and it re-captured the feeling of being by the ocean and feeling completely relaxed about life. It re-captured the moment I longed for during my bad semesters. It was an inspiring moment that set the stage for my golden years of 2015 and 2016. The end of 2014 was the best possible end to the year because of visiting San Francisco and San Diego. 2. Discovering Synetic Theater, in all honesty, was a magical experience that I will never regret!! I first discovered Synetic on October 2015 when I first saw it’s production of “Alice in Wonderland” and it blew my mind and left me absolutely speechless. The reason why I resonated with the play so deeply was because it was my internal passion calling me. After seeing the show I realized that this was what I wanted Tim Burton’s movie to be. A surreal, whimsical, and horrifying play about Wonderland being dangerous and also a coming of age story!! I saw Synetic’s whole 2015-2016 season and it was one of my the greatest experiences in my life that I will never regret. Synetic is the deepest embodiment of my passion and it is truly my soul mate. 3. I fondly remember my Golden Years of 2015 and 2016, which in all honesty, were the best years of my life. 2013 was undeniably one of the worst years of my life with a constant string of failures! After the year ended, I felt emotionally numb to cope with how overwhelming the year was and I forgot what it felt to be happy. I felt like I was living a quarter life crisis and my twenties hadn’t started yet! 2015 and 2016 were Golden Years because I didn’t just accomplish many goals. I re-connected with the emotions of deep bliss, childlike enthusiasm, curiosity and the higher emotions of being completely invested in a story and becoming one with the story and having a deeper sensitivity to the beauty of the moment. I spent 2013 being an exhausted and worried procrastinator who felt like everything was spiraling out of control. 2015 and 2016 helped me get closer to self-actualization but I want to achieve the highest levels of self-actualization. 4. I never regret going to California all my life and having great and memorable times in San Diego with my extended family. I remember going to the beach every other day, the beautiful sunshine, celebrating Christmas in 2015, and getting to explore Ocean Beach, Del Mar, and Laguna and going to Balboa Park. I feel instantly in love with SF because of the city’s quirkiness and the beautiful nature, the great food, and the great parks. 5. I am deeply grateful to live in a neighborhood like Bethesda where I live near a library and a bookstore and restaurants right in walking distance. I love how I can a bus or the Metro to anywhere in Washington DC. I’m most grateful to live near an amazing city like DC and in close proximity to other US cities and states. I’m grateful to be able to transform any day into adventure! 6. I never regret going to the Caribbean, to Mexico and to the Virgin Islands. I long for these experiences of being by the beach every morning and smelling the ocean and having great days at the beach and being by the ocean. I vow to return to the Caribbean and I promise that I will visit the Caribbean, the Virgin Islands, the Bahamas, Central America and South America. 7. I never regret being a storyteller, a voracious reader, a cinephile, an audiophile, a theater lover, and a history lover and being passionate for so many subjects whether it be music or movies or stories. I realize that the arts has deeply resonated with my life and his inspired me deeply. I never regret telling so many stories and writing many poems. I will commit my whole life to mastering storytelling and to become effortlessly creative. 8. I don’t regret learning about topics that fascinate me. I love learning about stories, self-actualization, creativity and so many topics. I’m so glad that I’m in college taking classes that I love. I’m grateful I go to a college where I don’t have to worry about bullies or social awkwardness. I love getting to opportunity to learn about so much and I will focus on learning more. 9. I never regret deepening my friendships with Laura and Katie and overcoming my social awkwardness and being much more authentic with my socializing. I’m glad that I discovered that there are authentic friends out there for me. I can create a new network of friends and I can keep on mastering social skills. I don’t have to get along with everyone or even have many friends! I want a small social circle of best friends! I’m realizing that there is a whole world out there for me! 10. I never regret seizing abundant theater and social opportunities in DC like going to Synetic Theater and the Kennedy Center and to Wolf Trap. I’ve seen some of the greatest shows ever in my life! I’ve been to so many plays and shows in my day 11. I’m deeply grateful for all the times I spent with my grammy and how we went on so many trips and adventures for her. I’m grateful to have her as a role model.

@Nexeternity I understand I'm not my "thinking" or conceptualizing mind as I stated earlier. Not all the time anyway. I know I can't "think my way to enlightenment". Even the thought of what enlightenment is automatically turns it into an illusion or concept of mind. That would be trying to bring enlightenment down to this lowly level of the" known". That's not going to happen any time soon. "If it can be spoken of, that ain't it", as the old saying go's. On rare occasions I have experience what I am as pure empty awareness, no self, no likes, no dislikes, no love, no hate, no emotions. no attachment, no knowing of any kind what so ever. True bliss and liberation from the egoic mind. There was nothing for the ego to cling to, good, bad or indifferent. But that was just tastes and not a permanent state. This is where my original question lies. Leo reminded of something in a statement he made in another post very recently. I think it points to the answers I seek. There is absolute nothingness, the "infinite singularity" that is pure, empty awareness. Maybe I could say, at best I have witnessed that from a distance. But if i became that, that would cause the final shards of self to utterly burn to ash and all remnants of self would than vanish without a trace. Total and final liberation from self. I did feel that when the experiences happened. But it's always fleeting within time. So here is where I'm at now to sum it all up. I must become that and not just experience it. I can see the difference in that now! Thanks brother, all of this really helped piece everything together for me in all different ways! This should all come together nicely at some point. Maybe I can get myself off this see-saw ride to enlightenment once and for all by not just focusing on awareness but to utterly become it in every way. * I wrote this the other day and forget never hit the send button. Well here it is now. I just read your latest statement above. Don't worry about it. Yea there is always plenty of work to be done. I been at it on and off for 30 yrs. and there is still plenty to be done! It's a life long journey. I 'm thinking lately I should maybe put a little boost into my experience. Something that may kick it up a notch. Maybe experiment a little.

During my quarter life crisis, I realized that I was having a string of failures, low energy, virtually no creative passion or even inspiration, restlessness and sleeplessness and I lost touch with my passions and my love for life and my freedom and happiness. My Happiness List is a major step in the right direction because it re-aligned me with my own happiness, it grounded me in the moment more and taught me to savor happiness like a great cup of coffee or a cup of tea, and I had moments of deep bliss. Through the List, I re-captured the emotions of bliss, being captivated and seduced by fiction, and feeling in love and relaxed in the moment. I'm sleeping much better, I'm much healthier, and I'm much happier but I feel like there are greater self-actualization opportunities on the horizon. Actualized.org helped me realize so much and I'm so grateful I discovered it earlier! My Happiness List was heavily inspired and based on Leo's Gratitude List and I gave myself a daily commitment to the list. I re-created my life and I'm truly starting to taste and savor how rich and delicious freedom and happiness can be. This List is a huge step towards self-actualization but I feel like I can go even farther.

@Electron The majority probably shoot for enlightenment on the promise of peaceful bliss, but I find the search for Truth to be more alluring. To find what's real. Question everything and you'll find your life is mostly led by illusions, without any great awakening needed, and those realisations can be more than enough motivation for our 'search'

This is still operating from a paradigm of duality. In enlightenment, in theory, we become no-dual. So there are no more opposites or divisions: no more pain and pleasure, good or bad, right or wrong. It is to assume that in enlightenment the absence of suffering equals the presence of joy - that if it isn't one thing it must be the other. My interpretation is that things become neural and peaceful. Peace of mind. Perhaps this is bliss, but that doesn't make it either pain or pleasure. Just peace. Enlightenment isn't a hedonic pursuit of constant gratification. It is the absense of all of these things. Including any negative emotions. It is simply just 'being' and just 'allowing' life to live.

@Emerald Wilkins Is our ultimate desire is to become non-existent. To completely vanish without a trace? That would be true bliss because there would be no "you" to have an experience of any kind. Someday we will all find our way home and become pure emptiness again. But for now, here we are. Kicking around on this rock and having experiences of all colors shapes and forms as the manifestation of emptiness. When you see everything from the perspective of non-existence, you can also see by comparison that one experience is really no different than any other. They all happen within this realm of existence and here they will stay.

Every time I notice anything arising in my experience that clearly needs compassion and loving. At first it was quite often, my monkey-mind generated a whole bunch of thoughts per day and most of them weren't exactly coming from any good place... Actually, the more you speak those loving sentences, the more you transform your experience and the more the state of just dwelling in bliss becomes accessible without even speaking. Hmm, it might be something like: learning to integrate something to part of your reality is to learn how something feels. I don't know, my personal experience of this world has changed so radically so rapid that it's hard to put anything in words... I think there might also be connection to what's behind the success with MDMA-treatments on PTSD patients, "forcing the feeling of love in one's experience" can really help to dig deeper and deal with all negative stuff and traumas buried deep inside.. But it's definitely the feeling you're after, words are always just symbols. "I love you" could mean in some other language "This is bullshit"...

@Ross Did I not mention it before? The self help industry, and yes that included the spiritual community is a scam. You can solve all your problems by dropping the programming you accepted from these "authorities" and just live intensely in the moment. You will see clearly for yourself that this industry is nothing but nonsense that you never needed. Try it for yourself. But you must be willing to drop the Mooji, RSD, Hulse, Ken Wilber and all the other nonsense that you bought into. You can only do that when you become serious enough. Enjoy the bliss

thoughts on Jesus ... Jesus. Yes, Jesus. Not religiously talking, just some new ways of seeing this historical (as it seems)person, I am discovering for myself... Leo once mentioned Jesus along with Budha and how they have the characteristics of great meditators and enlightened people. What can we really learn from these stories? What is the truth about Jesus? Okay, people didn´t see that the man who called himself the son of god called everyone around brothers and sisters, which would mean that they are children of god as well... So Jesus had to talk very simply to them and as it is with that gap between teachers and students, it can be really hard to start from somewhere, especially when what is tought has many levels and shades and might be something they do not want to hear because it might mean that they were wrong, or did wrong or will be wrong... It might mean that they have to change... What does this remind us of? Self development... This reminds me of something one of my professors once said, he had done fieldwork in Africa and he said that if you tell certain people there a story about some great king who bravely died for his people they might not like the story and even note that if the king lost his throne and was murdered, he must have been not been good enough, unworthy and deserved it... Anyways, so he was not some super human with superpowers, doing wonders, and resurrecting from the dead... He was a master of... Self... Eh... Knowledge? A master of emotions, peace and truth. How do we know? Well, he could "suffer" on a cross but his ability to distinct awareness from thought, to detach the experience from pain, from himself and his love for everyone and everything-from unconditional happiness and peace, which are, as we learned all possible abilities one can train with a lot of labor and patience (bet the gap of information about his early adulthood comes from the fact that it was absolutely boring-he was probably meditating day and night...), these allowed him to slow down the system so much that he was believed to be dead... Then he got some time to recover and... Well, he came back and everyone thought he resurrected from the dead. Sounds all less spectacular, but would make some sense. I wonder what happened first... Did first Jesus talk to "god" or "god" talk to Jesus? I am not sure if Jesus was really hearing a voice he called god and if that would make him slightly mentally ill or super special... But if he heard that voice, it was produced somewhere, it came from somewhere, it was real to him, it had an enormous impact on him and his behavior and on others... My theory is more that he drew the wisdom from himself, from learning by himself. Looks like Jesus distinguished still between god and himself but maybe this is just how others interpreted it through his words. Is it likely that something spoke to him or likely that he created this dialog himself? If he created the let´s call it "god dialog" himself, then how did he do it? Maybe he cultivated awareness and let everything enter his perception, he applied thought to his observations, i.e. logic, order and critical thinking and tried us much as he could to translate his realizations and positive feelings into actions and spread them with language... What did "his father" teach him after all? Simple things, respect, compassion, patience, the power of forgiving, justice, morals, love... Love. Anything else the father gave his son? I don´t think so... The son earned it all himself, he "fought the demons" in the desert, he was alone all the time untill he found his students and even those left him at some point... What is Jesus a symbol for? A half god, blessed and superior? Unreachable? Or a symbol for a small human that found joy in the hardest path he could have chosen? A little human with a couple of values and a life purpose? If Jesus was human and had these abilities, then we can be like him. Can we become like him? That is the question between every heros story, can we be like them? We won´t ever be more or less than anybody else but we have the potential to be like Jesus or Budha or Gandhi etc., so paradoxicaly we can grow endlessly but that means nothing. The hierarchy melts away. Nothing is a big deal, if history changing or not, we all matter but at the same time we don´t. Butterfly effects in the stories of our lives and of those we influence, in the history of humanity vs. the fact that we had a start as a human and as a species-so we will have an end too... Eitherway, we also know now, that it is not weird at all that Jesus had no wife... Why would he need this kind of love or relationship? He had a relationship with "god" already and his existance was probably feeling at least orgasmic most of the time... He had so much bliss inside him, you could give him a sponge of vinegar to drink and he´d not mind you, he really wouldn´t... We don´t need to become like him, we don´t need to believe that he was even a real person that existed but it looks like that he was. He was just a guy who walked the spiritual path untill the very end. He would never want anyone to do fasting for him because he suffered, or burn candles, or pray... He would want people to open their minds to their potential, which is the same as his was. God made man by his picture. Yes, because this god word is just another word for everything, everything is like us and we are like everything because we are one, one big perceiving nothing? Well, okay, here comes the part I haven´t figured out yet and before I could say anything, I can at least already tell that it´s awesome!

Enlightenment is permanent. The enlightened state is simply your present experience, unfiltered! It's not a constant "feeling" of bliss or what have you. If you're chasing after bliss, that's just another one of ego's carrot chases, so beware. All experiences pass; enlightenment stays the same. Very subtle, and very simple. Fundamentally, nothing changes. On the surface, everything changes. How circumstances change after enlightenment vary from person to person. Some may become "bodhisattvas," others may become hermits. Some may vandalize a parking lot, others may feed starving children in Africa. It's all up in the air after realizing that the person has no control whatsoever over what they do, as well as realizing there's no such thing as morality. You're a caterpillar trying to build a conceptual framework of what it's like to be a butterfly. But that conceptual framework will only hold you back from metamorphosis. I suggest that you forget about the antics of the butterfly and instead focus on the inner work to become one! Cheers.

@cetus56 I was very,very,lucky - in that I started to grasp it as it was hammered into my brain by someone with Leo's charisma and integrity. When you realize that what you are seeing in his eyes in those videos is Truth (Along with all the joy that it looks like he manages to turn into a calm 'hum of bliss') He's vibrating like a mofo but he's fine-tuned it and then must just draw from it. What power. (I want to work towards that.) Now, I studied all the current science of it out of an innate curiousity, managed to figure out the surfacy stuff of current Quantum Theories, just trying to understand all the paradoxes of the quantum world. Right now these top physicists of the world are explaining the universe so very convincingly through Quantum experiments, mathematics and theories... Well, when science starts to dovetail with that gnawing spiritual quest - naturally and Truthfully avoiding religion and philosophy, I'm hooked. ....Anyway, regarding the illusion of self just 'popping', once that Truth has been articulated to you effectively, repeatedly and maybe even from different angles (still avoiding religion or philosophy), and combined with that 'Aha!' moment of EXPERIENCING that Truth, whether through calming the mind down enough to just 'See it and BE it, even if only for fleeting moments.... Epic in the true sense of the word. Man, I am a little thankful for ego, last few days, it's filtered back in somewhat smoothly and I feel as if I've let it to some degree ... in order to just try and get some day to day shit done. You're simply never the same though, eh? Irrevocably, permanently changed. First big noticeable symptom, besides awe and tears and awe and 'holyfuckholyfuckholyfuck' is that I'm calmer. I don't think I'm calmer, I'm just calmer. My days are just automatically a bit smoother by default. Wow, what a way to realize that turning that Aha! moment into more than a moment, turning it into a near-constant experiencing of that Aha! moment, is so worth working for through self-actualization efforts. Man, if you hit on the 'no self' thing in your mind, and then experience the Truth of it, the ego/mind dissolving for those fleeting moments so you recognize that you are unity...? Well, imagine if you were vibing on life so vividly and in the moment that you had to dumb down that constant bliss of Awareness of your True Nature in order to get some regular, day to day stuff done. I don't think much could stop you in this reality if you worked for and reached, accessed and harnessed and focused that kind of energy and love. Hooboy, I have a lot of meditating to do.

Notice how you're searching for an experience of enlightenment. You're expecting fireworks: some FEELING of connectedness or bliss. Realize that those experiences are fleeting. Your True nature is always here. If "Truth hath no confines," you already are connected to everything! Your present experience unfiltered by belief is enlightenment. I suggest you stop searching for a drug-hit of bliss. Instead, start by examining the belief that there is a "you" looking out at an external world. You'll soon find that Awareness, as you like to call it, is already not confined inside the body. Cheers!

Oh man, keep up with the meditation. If you are following Leo I wouldn't be remiss in suggesting you watch the Enlightenment Intro, and Enlightenment part one and two videos. Back to back if you can. When you get about 30 minutes into part two, he was hammering on the 'there is no you, there is no self. He does this 'You' (pointing at you) thing... 'Yes, you, nod your head, that's right, say your name, ok. YOU don't exist! There is no self!' Well, when you get it you get it because you experience it, and it does something to your ego that it's never experienced before. The illusion of self fractures for real, and if only for an instant, it's bigger and badder than any matrix shit. Hey Arik, yeah the tears of pure joy and bliss, especially upon initial seeing and early in your journey, nothing like that eh? 'I' wish it for you, WhatAmI, stay with Leo on Enlightenment, look up 'John Hagelin, what is consiousness? Part 1 & 2 & 3. Try some Stuart Hameroff lectures and interviews on YouTube as well. Brian Greene lectures on quantum theories as well. Have a little mind melting fun with Quantum mechanics explanations on YouTube, current ones by the top minds and physicists in the world. Try to wrap your head around the two-slit experiments (many explanations on Youtube), Entanglement (Einstein's 'spooky action at a distance), String and super-string theory, Probability wave collapse and consciousness and 'thoughts', and ultimately the Unified field theory stuff. (Done very well by John Hagelin in those vids I listed.) Have some fun with that, it was big fun trying to unpack all this science for me and I got to grade 10. It's do-able with an open mind and some repetition of the videos. Yeah, long stuff but trust me. THEN! Try Leo's enlightenment videos, the intro and pt. 1 and 2. again. AND! Keep up with the meditation, especially, I think, the self inquiry type, the Who am I, who's really thinking these thoughts stuff. Oh man, have fun. It's going to fuck you up 1000 times better than the best way imaginable when it hits you and you see, feel, and even if for a second, 'Be' nature, for the first time. Thanks for listening, I hope I'm on the right track trying to give a little nudge or hint, or point to great info and learning to further your journey.

Enlightenment is no more than the realization that everything is driven by one unified field of consciousness. That realization happens by tapping into that primordial field through the practice of silencing the mind. So who can't experience enlightenment? But the big hurdle is staying in that state of unity at all times and under all circumstances. When the silence finally prevails at all times over the noise of mind, that's full enlightenment or bliss consciousness. Of course that is much easier said than done when living day to day in the real world and the reason so many end up going into seclusion.

Please, do not answer me with enlightenment jargon, for I am looking for a simple answer, and I don't sBeak English very well Let me introduce myself first ;), I am Muhammad and I am from Morocco, North Africa. I have been following Leo for 8 months, and it has been a bliss. I am no longer depressed. I am no longer a negative thinker. I can stay at home with a complete peace of mind, feeling no kind of loneliness, guilt, shame, or anything like that. Just recently, when I watched the last videos of Leo, from Life minimalism to the last video of happiness, my vision starts clearing up. I want to make a BOLD CHANGE this year, but I am AFRAID, because I do not know where it is going to lead. It may lead to some AMAZING rewards, and it may be a WASTED year!! I want to quit university and continue with my blog, which I started recently, why? because of the following reasons: If I quit university and my blog goes well, I will be able to settle in one of the most beautiful cities in Morocco and the world; a quiet city where I can pursue enlightenment work. I will be no longer living with my family, which means more freedom and discipline. I will not work in a 9 to 5 job. I will live a truly tribal simple lifestyle. what do you think, guys?

@electroBeam Hi electro, I never suggested that you shouldn't meditate. I just pointed out the trap in believing that you should or have to in order to reach enlightenment. You don't. Like I said, how do you get to where and what you already are? Fundamentally, there is no process. There's a quote from...Carl Sagan? I believe, not sure...but it goes something like: in order to make an apple pie from scratch, you first have to create the universe. In other words, fundamentally no one particular decision or technique has brought you to where you are now. The entire successional flow of the universe has brought you here. Meditation and contemplation for enlightenment work has brought you to where you are just as much as your dump on the toilet two weeks ago. I'm pointing this out so you don't spend decades of your life meditating with the heavy expectation of an explosion of bliss-enlightenment. We falsely expect these techniques to get us somewhere because ego desires to get to a better place, while the gurus do it because they know it's getting them nowhere. This is it already. It's just a matter of seeing clearly. Then what's the point of doing these things? Good question. This is where I contradict what I said above with the apple pie, so bear with me. Meditation, contemplation, spiritual autolysis, mindfulness and all of these other techniques are a hands-on approach to helping you see through your mind-made illusions. By doing these things over and over again, you learn more and more to see what is and see through what is not. That way, you suffer much less from your illusions. I agree with @99th_monkey that waking up is really the starting point to Self-cultivation, as I like to call it. Self-realization is the easy part. Self-cultivation is the hands-on part, where you slowly release control over your life by seeing through illusions. Ego doesn't want to release control. But by seeing through the illusion of ego, it begins to happen naturally. It's as though Self-realization is the spark that lights the powder keg, and then the fuse burns on its own through Self-cultivation. That's my experience at least. @99th_monkey I found that in a store. I was hoping the writing on the doll's sticky note would show up because I thought it was funny. It says "y'all need Jesus".

Little rant about meditation. I shall start by saying that I have not meditated one single hour in my life. Every time I sat down to do it, my back would ache, my nose would itch, phone would ring, neighbor would come.. even the stray cat that comes and goes to my house would come and sit in my lap the minute I started... so yeah. That being said, my whole life became a sort of a contemplation. Not one minute of my life, starting about 18 months or so was dedicated to anything else but the urge to freedom and TRUTH. No matter the situation I was in, my main goal was to distance myself from the thoughts that came, and see them for what they were. What has helped me was first and foremost, this thirst, this hunger for TRUTH! Life has put Ayla in a situation where it was finding TRUTH, or nothing. Over and over and over and over again for the last hummmmm.... 10 years? Until FINALLY I listened! What I used to disentangle from thoughts: Noah Elkrief's videos in times of "apparent" emergency - everything that seems to come, is a thought Leo's videos for giving "food to mind" - better the thoughts are about this than that, right? Byron Katie's WORK - "is this true?" "can you absolutely know that it's true?" - turn every phrase around in as many ways possible "The Artist's Way" book - write down, first thing in the morning, everything that comes up, no matter how dull and stupid I have also done a process described in Michael Brown's book - "The Presence Process" - very powerful 10 weeks process "not about feeling better but about getting better at feeling" So no, I cannot say from my own experience that meditation is the key. From what I hear it CAN BE, but it is not the only one. If the urge, the thirst, the pull is as strong as it was in this here, any tools that you find yourself using over and over again, will get you to the proper door. I should also maybe say that apart from listening to Mooji videos on YouTube, a little bit of this or the other E-teacher, I have not read a single book on it, not went to retreats, seminars, etc. Pure, sheer pain has brought me where I am. This is how pain has stopped being the enemy. This is how fear left me. What is left here, is NOT pure bliss. That also comes and goes. What's left is a honest basking in whatever comes this way. Still working in what I like to call "too solid to raise through to heaven's gates" Hope this helps someone...

I believed these no-self stories right from the beginning. I never understood anything , but i believed and learned them anyway because it was supposed to be like that since i'm unaware and egotistical. I wanted to progress faster and dedicate all my free time to this. This has torn me up on the inside in the last months. I lost my passion for everything i used to like and my meditation sessions were more like torture instead of bliss (like they used to be). I couldn't even sleep properly at night. All because i keep having these thoughts firing up in my head all the time - " there is no me" , "i'm not my mind" , " there is no one to be aware" , etc. These buddhist stories make you believe that you are divided , that your desires and thoughts are just burdens you need to get rid of. It's similar to what the other religions do , make you think your body and mind are dirty and you need to purge yourself in order to be good. It is toxic. The real improvement you get is from the meditation exercises. They make you more aware , calm and with better focus. The theory is just nonsense. Do your research on it if you want to , but be skeptical. YOU need to figure out what is true and works don't let others tell you , like i did. Now i need to unwire all these beliefs , and i feel like a fool. Also observe how to people who preach this stuff behave. Are they emotionally mature and happy , or do they have the same bad habits as the people they are preaching to?

@Extreme Z7 Thanks a lot! The psychological benefits have been great. I started to become aware of my neurotic tendencies, and my stupid destructive behaviors. I haven't been able to completely change those things, but I just know that maintaining awareness throughout the years will auto-correct those things. @Zane Wow sounds like an amazing experience. I'm still working on be able to just be absorbed in the moment and experience that level of bliss. Yes, you have been a great support so thank you for that. Sounds like you are doing very well on your path. Glad you are currently much happier in your life, I'm sure you will be able to keep pushing ahead! @Lorcan Yes thanks for that suggestion. I will come back with another report most likely after I have meditated for a year. I would like to look back on this journal and see how much progress I've made. I wrote in the beginning I wanted to achieve these goals: Develop stronger willpower Increase my ability to focus for longer periods of time Develop my level of awareness Effectively manage the chaos in my mind Throughout this journey, I completely forgot about my goals. I became more focused on just doing the meditation, and using it as a way to keep myself grounded and calm. Now looking back on it, all of those things have happened on their own in a very natural way. There was no need to force it or to take on any sort of neurotic action. All I did was meditate day after day while increasing my awareness. I'm not operating anywhere near the level I want to be at, but I now have a stronger willpower, stronger focus, much more awareness, and less chaos in my mind. It's a great feeling to have knowing that I'm just barely scratching the surface and I have so much more room to grow.

@ZenBlue YES YOU ACCOMPLISHED THE HUNDRED DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You completely committed yourself to the goal and went beyond your 5 minute goal. I'm glad you're aware of your flaws while meditating but you can't be perfect at meditation. The good news is that the changes are subtle and you will get better at it. In San Francisco, in 2014, I felt deep bliss twice on the trip without even meditating and I think the reason why was because it was such an amazing moment of being where I was completely absorbed in the moment of sitting on the dark of the bay, smelling the ocean, and basking in the sun. In the park, I felt deeply blissful and relaxed. Thank you so much for the mention in your post for my support!! It's my pleasure and i love supporting people on their journey. You can go even farther with self-actualization! I'm making great progress with it and I re-captured the emotions of awe and wonder, deeply relaxed bliss, laughing like nobody's watching, the flow state of creativity, feeling completely invested in a movie or a show and a childlike spirit of adventure. I created a Twenties Journal to track my happiness and I'm much happier than I ever was in my life. I want to go even farther!

Sort of. Mind will not all of the sudden say: I want to die - on the contrary, it will fight as long as it wants to with concepts and theories and experiences and unicorns... until it will hopefully one day declare "bankruptcy", exhaustion, forfait, no can do. hehe What I meant is that those teachers do no "plan" in any way to teach. Their mind has become just what it is supposed to be: a translation machine for Self. They are just letting their body-mind be "used" as life (God, Love, Universe) wants to. What comes up here when I read this, is that...even an experience of pure bliss and love ... is still ONLY an experience. It comes and it goes. This can be a wonderful way for Ego to enter through back door and keep seekers stuck in "high" and "low" illusion Ego IS concepts. Any concepts.

@popi Glad it helped! When a person that is living from the Source from within meets another that also does the same; such purity, bliss, and unity. This is healthy.

I began seeing this 2-3 months ago. What changed right away was that everything I perceived stopped being the effect of something else, but more like the spontaneous occurrence of itself. Like, when I took a walk outside I saw and still see something in the trees, that is also in the ground. Also in the crying kid and also in my wandering thoughts. At this time I experienced extreme bliss for a week or two and then I fell in probably the deepest hole I every experienced on this journey. I came out of it yesterday in my daily meditation in which I was deeply in my unconscious, re-living childhood memories and crazy other stuff. At some point it just felt like a rock fell off me and I intuitively knew that I was through with this. Since then, the horrors went away. Thanks for your post, man. I appreciate it. While I was having these bad cycles, I still could see it in everything. It was just that my thoughts would go nuts and fuck me up day after day. Now it feels like a silenced city after a hurricane, a few people are still there, but there is this peace everywhere that underlies all the going ons.

Hey all, long time no see, I've missed you all a lot Let me tell you about a technique I've recently developed, I want to give credit to Leo and and Alan Watts that inspired me a lot over the years. So I call it the Buddha meditation and I practice it like that: First realize that meditation is not something you DO, it's a state of simple being as described in many techniques. My method isn't any different, I would say it's more of a pre-contemplation that reminds you to be open and relieves the expectations. The second step is a little contemplation that goes like that: "Could it possibly be that I'm already a buddha?" "If I were a buddha would I try to get any where? Would I try to realize something or to gain more knowledge? I guess not. I would simply sit here because that's simply how a buddha sits and enjoy observing all that is in my awareness. Enjoying my bliss" Now try to connect with your experience and from time to time you may guide yourself back to this image of simply being a sitting buddha and just be. So basically once grounded you just sit. I hope you will enjoy it like I did and stay on your path. Good luck

But lets say that I was envyous of someone like Eckart Tolle because he is enlighthened master. Then, I think that is a good form of envy if I can use it as motivation to become enlighthened myself and actually get some great Benefits such as: Ego death Unconditional self love Bliss Pure flow Being cognition etc. That would be envy working in your favour But it mostly does not Becuase the things you are envyous about like someone having a Nice car, good looks, great physique/appearance, etc. These things will never make you happy if you get Them unlike the holy grail - enlightenment.