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2016, oct 9th healthy meals happiness sharing bike rides meditation self-inquiry & dharma contemplation deep talks compassive listening actualized.org contributions today i gave a free yoga class to a woman. she's on her 50's and we've been doing this for a while. she has 3 herniated discs but she feels MUCH better now. her flexibility and muscle strength are increasing and she's becoming younger. her eyes shine! after the yoga class i also taught her the practice of zazen. we practiced together. she said that it was hard but she also acknowledged the fact that zazen is what she needs. then i headed to meet a friend of mine. we ate açaí while he was talking about some bad stuff that was happening to him and his parents. i just listened to him. there's nothing much to do in these kinds of situation. i just listened with all my body. in the end he said that he wanted to practice meditation and i invited him to the daissen-ji sangha, which meet on mondays. then i came back home and invited the ashram residents to a free-style meditation in the darkness. there's no form to grasp. just sit and observe whatever happens. i could feel from bliss to agony. pretty interesting! i watched leo's new video and i was amazed by his extensive accuracy. incredible video! then we went to a free choro concert near by. it was AMAZING! the musicians were so good. my perception of reality went kinda crazy but it felt good. i love the impersonal and meaningless taste of reality. i continued the actualized.org subtitle work. it's going to be a long run!

Are you saying that you know for a fact that infinite bliss does not exist?

Brother, listen. I was in a similar state of mind this year for about 6 months. I would wake up in the morning and the first thing that happened was that my mind began racing, negative thought patterns would come up, emotions were triggered. I would get up and do my daily stuff and I was in constant fear all the time. I was in fear when I met people on the street, I was in fear when I went to university, I was in fear even when I was home alone because I thought that my family and friends thought bad of me (...which of course they don't - at least not in such a dramatic way one spins it.) My meditation was basically me sitting while being screamed at by my inner stream of thoughts. I briefly had moments of silents or peace. These 6 months were covered with 3 major awakenings that I had which mostly resulted in 1 week of bliss per awakening and then the terror would even worsen. In the last weeks I would sit in the bus and my head would be spinning scenarios of me killing myself (and I'm not at all, not even fucking remotely suicidal, never was) but it just felt very good to spin these scenarios. That this happened made me then even sicker, that I thought about this. It was all very twisted and I was totally lost. This had to happen to purge my whole childhood / youth drama out of my brain. I knew that this was happening at the time - but still it didn't really help because it was so bad. And I would be having all of this while becoming more and more aware of how I was one with the universe. My awareness expanded a lot in this time which is in retrospect the reason why I felt so shitty. It shined light on so much neurosis that was covered in the dark that it just needed time to burn out all of this shit. So, how do you go about it? Look Matt Khan videos and begin to reconnect with your shadow, your inner child. Don't deny one side of yourself as being bad and responsible for this fuck-up, but see it as a little five year old inside of you who is completely lost and makes you crazy. How do you talk to a five year old? You say that you're sorry that he has to go through such deep and transforming times. You say that your are sorry what happened to him in the past and that your only wish is to make him happy and enlighten him. Actually, really say this to yourself on a daily basis and come in contact with all of this emotional baggage - not trying to get away from it, but care about it. You'll see, it'll magically dissolve because you stop resisting it. Build a daily routine. Sleep 7-8 hours, eat regularly, take a shit, take a daily walk, see nature at least once a day, and don't meditate too much and too hard in times when you are completely off. Meditation is great and you should still be doing it daily, but if you don't even have the power to handle yourself, you don't wanna make you bleed out faster. Take your time. In my worst times I did 30 minutes of a Daoist breathing meditation. Do your HoloSync. You do that, right? This will probably solve most of your problems very fast. Give it some time, but it did and does wonders for me. I love it. Do sports once a week. This is extremely important. If you are not a sporty guy, do at least once a week 10 push-ups. That could be a start. You wanna get rid of all this adrenalin that builds up. I did swimming for two years once a week, now I do a workout with a kettle-bell. Give in on some old ruts. If you wanna smoke, eat some ice cream, watch netflix marathons, do that. You are not in the position right now to work all of these out and thats fine. I binge on way to much stupid shit as for example very delicious spicy food, cigarettes, drugs, whatever I want. I would not restrict myself because I trust my intuition fully. From time to time it kicks one of these old ruts out just naturally. I'm just making sure I'm feeding it with more and more awareness, the rest happens for me automatically. Also, way more important then living the healthy vegan-yoga-idealistic lifestyle is that you accept your desires, find your authenticity and root yourself in that. Then no problem or habit can even remotely bug you. You can consciously cut on those things (if you want) when you have the power and inspiration to do so, not when you are carrying this heavy corpse around every day that is sad and unmotivated. This leads just to disaster. Stay at home if you like or connect with some friends here and there that give you good vibes and just follow through on that. In reality, all of this takes some time but eventually will make you the most rooted, clear-thinking and on-point person that you can think of. Keep remembering what I said in my shrooms post: All pain simply comes from the fact that at some point you started to believe your own story. And if I read your story, I see that you do that a lot and suffer from that. Now, probably this is all happening automatically and you can't do nothing about it. It was for me at that time. That's fine. Nature sometimes just wants to be in deep, deep pain so that the fun after it is even way better. Nature is a beast, trust me. And lastly, if it gets too hard, you can always write me. You know that. I help you man. Peace will come and knowing as well. In retrospect to my own fuck-up purging time: I am now as authentic, confident, happy and rooted in what I do more then ever in my life. I have to this point experienced every possible emotion I can think of in every extreme, from the complete non-duality of things to the worst nightmares of fear and anxiety. I am so intimately bounded to me as an individual that nothing normal can really shock me any more, because I went through all of it. And you will be, too. So in the end this builds the most important and intimate foundation you could ever ask for. You just don't know it yet. So, cheer up. Nature is just building your strongest version and this needs some transformation. Cheers

You expected a more blissful experience yes? Not everyone experience that. Some experience bliss, some experience immense fear, and some don't have a powerful experience at all. Eventually that experience fades and then there is just peace and calm. Well I'm not going to convince you that is what you experienced because I can only guess but if this makes sense to you, try to lean back into that place. Maybe @Ayla can help clarify things for you.

Normally, so long as you are carried away by your speeding thoughts, you do not feel disturbed by the thoughts. But if you pause in-between, and study your mind, you realize how feverishly it works, and disturbs your peace. This pause is essential for curbing the over-activity of mind. You have to halt and watch your thoughts; for, if your thoughts are running fast, you cannot know your mind. Therefore, I reiterate, your experience is a good omen. Do not be worried about it, on the contrary, be glad. But then take the next step: take a completely impersonal view of the thought process. Be only an observer of thoughts; have nothing to do with them except to observe them. When thoughts cloud your mind, and harass you, ask them, ‘Oh thoughts! To whom do you belong? Do you belong to me?’ You will get no reply to this inquiry! Because the thoughts do not belong to you! Try and find out. Thoughts are your guests. They have made a lodging house of your mind. It is wrong to think of them as yours; and this same mistake comes in the way of getting rid of them. If you identify as yours, you stand in the way of their exit. And the thoughts which are your temporary guests become permanent lodgers. By looking at thoughts impersonally, you sever connection with them. Whenever a thought or desire is born in you, watch its birth, see it grow before the mind’s eye, and then observe its decline, and the final departure. Repeat this observation with the second thought that enters the mind; watch also its birth, and growth, decline and death. Thus, in a quiet and detached manner—that is, as a witness—observe the constant stream of thoughts. Feel nothing about them, good or bad. Form no opinions about them, favourable or unfavourable. Just watch. Thus, by silent choiceless observation, the traffic of thoughts slows down; and finally, a state of thoughtless Bliss is achieved.

Name: Siim Land Age: 22 Gender: Male Location: Estonia Occupation: writer, blogger, BA in Anthropology, being self-empowered Marital status: Single, gaming Kids: None Hobbies: writing, reading, meditation, self-actualization, self-empowerment, fitness, nutrition, YouTube, storytelling If I were to investigate when I started personal development, then I would say that I've been motivated to always improve myself. As a child I valued hard work and dedication. My parents also taught me to be myself and follow my passion over everything else. Thanks mom and dad! Albeit I consider myself extremely lucky and raised well, my childhood wasn't a breeze all the time. There were periods where we struggled financially, emotionally and socially. We've gone through hardships, stress and resentment, but we were also bestowed with a lot of happiness and bliss. In school I experienced a semi-downfall. Nothing too serious but I must admit that I fell victim to social conditioning and some bad habits. Luckily, I didn't fall in neck deep and managed to stay aware enough to pull myself out. After graduation I apotheosized in my hero's journey and got on a path of self-empowerment which I've followed ever since. Momentum is definitely on my side and I've never been happier nor more successful. At the moment, everything is moving in the right direction and I'm experiencing growth both physical, mental and spiritual. What's more important for me is the fact that my purposeful pursuit is reflecting onto other people around me as well. I'm working harder and giving more than ever before but at the same time I'm more fulfilled as well. Life is amazing. Personal challenges overcome: Managed to get back on track with my hero's journey, which I accepted as a child, but refused in my teens. Reclaimed my self-confidence and predator instinct, which had been made dormant due to social conditioning. Created an abundant source of passive income around my passion and purpose. Growing. Thanks to homesickness experienced in the military, I set aside some of my egotistic traits and realized how much I love my family. What I'm working on now: My craft, my brand, my purpose http://siimland.com/ Getting my YouTube channel off ground Dating and making more female connections Last year of my BA in anthropology. The theme of my dissetation: Consciousness and Transcendental Meditation Creating more meaningful experiences for my family and friends Practicing public speaking Kaizen self-actualization and empowerment Thanks!

@Leo Gura Leo, it all started because you mentioned seeing "a few hairs of the ox" in one of your enlightenment clips when you were at a retreat. Of course, I had to look it up to see what that meant. I found Shinzen Young's clips and he described footprints to ox's tail to Riding the Ox Backwards. When I found out about Riding the Ox Backwards, it reminded me of a "dream" I had when I was 1 yr old. Basically, to make the story short, I was the no-self ( nothingness ). Then, I became a sphere with stars all around me in blackness. Then, it was space. Then, I went through a black hole facing backwards into my 1 yr old body. I was this massive, massive light going into my body. I felt the divine love - extreme bliss - after I awoke. Long story though... I always wondered why I was facing backwards and not forwards. Then, I thought, we are only embodied throughout life, either in a human body or a soul or whatever. What we actually are is nothing/everything = the peace consciousness. That's why I realized that our ego (emotions) are all fiction. I lost a brother when he was 18 - died of brain cancer. I saw him again in a "dream" a few days later. I thought he came back to life. I talked to him and said that I was going to see him again. Of course, there are a lot more details in all of these. But, the thing I noticed in these two experiences is that I was also the observing self. When I was the sphere in space, I was observing myself as the no-self ( not embodied in anything ) at a different angle. I was the observing self when witnessing the massive, massive light going into my body. And, I was also the observing self when talking to my Bro. I witnessed myself talking to him. There were a lot of ah-ha moments (and little experiences) after seeing all your enlightenment clips. Thanks for being very articulate and clear in your clips, Leo. I find that these experiences also interconnect with my life purpose. (Karma) Note: Before, I thought the sky is the limit when working on my startup. Now, it's a life purpose toward world peace due to your world peace clip, enlightenment clips, etc. Those are the best ones! Best of luck in your enlightenment journey, esp when it comes to taking substances. And, I'm not here to judge, but please stay safe.

I would say that 'success' is actually counterproductive to 'happiness'. But that's a complicated issue to go in to right now. But it really depends on your definition of 'happiness'. Because it seems that most people seem to think of it as some positive emotion such as joy, bliss, excitement, stimulation, etc. When in fact I see happiness as being the absence of emotion and more of a 'peace of mind' state. Which is all about the psychology of the person and not the circumstances of their life.

The main reason for this post is because there is a lot of hysteria/misconceptions about mental illness, especially once people start to get into spirituality and psychedelics some people may sometimes be afraid they will one day 'trigger something that breaks their functioning mind, free will, emotions caused soly by some genetic predisposition'. Luckily that's a bunch of bullshit, though triggers and collapses may occur, the real cause is simply trauma, which can be dealt with. No developed mental illness (which is what we will be talking about) has ever been diagnosed through a biological test, it's a mere opinion based on symptoms (whom vary a lot, and of which not all are negative or even unhealthy), which creates a very very vague field: For instance, 10 people may have a cough, yet they may all have different diseases, but because the diagnosis is based on the symptom, they are all labeled with the same illness. (not to mention, a biological correlation also does not imply a cause, i.e. (mental) stress may still be the underlying cause) And other example, schizophrenia is based on just 2 out of 5 symptoms for a diagnosis: 'The positive symptoms of schizophrenia (delusions, hallucinations, and disorganized speech) can look like a manic episode of bipolar disorder, while the negative symptoms of schizophrenia (apathy, social withdrawal, and low energy) can look like a depressive episode.' Did you experience something unusual or belief in some unusual things? Do you hear voices sometimes, or see something not seen by others sometimes, either positive or negative? etc. Well, even having just a few of these things may already end you up diagnosed. Does that mean something is wrong with your body/mind per se? No, it means this particular culture created an arbitrary system to label the strange. However most people diagnosed mentally disturbed, are most often damaged broken individuals. Often schizophrenics and other mentally ill come from a unhealthy upbringing, were taught no confidence or love, in worse cases were (severely) abused by the parents or environment, didn't fit in socially and that has caused an unbalanced mind with all sorts of negative beliefs, low self worth and no tools to deal with it. In my own experience, I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, yet recovered from all symptoms remarkably fast. Long personal story: My youth: I had rather emotionally weak/insecure parents, spend almost all my free time behind TV and later video games, I was bullied, my dad died at 15 and at the same time, around age 15/16 I did recover socially (thanks to new friends and weed at the time (weed actually opened my eyes as to realizing I wasn't the only insecure being on the planet, but that it was in fact rampant). However not much later I started getting into mushrooms somewhat frequently and after some intense trips I realized we are spiritual being who could be living a ecstatic life if we decided to live in oneness without fear (among a few other things), but because I had no further tools or guidance and I was still walking around with a lot of emotional trauma/self-repression, and lacked the courage to be my true self, my negative ego flourished; I had no motivation for the regular world anymore, stayed in my room all day/night, I didn't know how to let go of all my fear and emotional trauma, and I wanted to die. But since that was not an easy or seemingly smart thing to do, I tried the next seemingly best thing, trying to imagine a better world for myself, I wanted to belief I was more special than others because I felt so inadequate. and I wanted to belief the moment was more special because I felt so shitty; this resulted in delusions and even in some rather small but (partly) self induced hallucinations (belief is a powerful tool) (though not of all can be said to be definitive hallucinations). After about a year of that me and my mom both thought it was a good idea to hospitalize for depression and psychosis (though in my eyes at the time, I believe I was just depressed, given I simply lived very unconsciously). I was hospitalized for psychosis, I hoped to receive good therapy, I imagined someone who would just talk to me so I could cry it all out. Strangely enough, despite living a developed first world country (The Netherlands), none of that happened, I was asked to simply take medications and was pretty much put away with similar (but nice) individuals with a short group therapy once a week, despite that, nothing really happened except a few. very short, talks with a (apathetic) psychiatrist. A wonderful business model to keep people taking drugs for their whole lives and not actually look at their problems indeed, luckily I refused all medication and they didn't pat attention. I was diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia with emotional imbalance) at the end of my year long hospitalization, overall, it was an OK time to simply get to myself more somewhat with no responsibilities, though that did not really help that much at all, luckily, I later did find the cure. Getting rid of mental illness At the end of my hospitalization of about a year I started meditating and things got better quickly, I just went home, got back to school, continued my practice and also started practicing self-inquiry, quickly in about a year time all my delusions/hallucinations as well as the dreadful depression simply faded. I went from very mentally restless to less and less until I was more neutral, until the neutrality birthed a small joy. During that time and time after until this day, emotional trauma surfaced (regularly) and is released, making me less afraid, less tense and free-er. Years later the progress has simply continued and I'm a happy, peaceful person and productive person, still there is some healing to do and there is a long infinite way to further to live and progress into total harmony, oneness and bliss with God,- thank God. And with no mental or emotional disturbance that ever surfaced again, even after taking psychedelics again numerous times, In fact living more in harmony with your inner-self makes you become actually one of the more sane people, and living in sync with life which gets wonderfully and clearly reflected with consistent synchronicities and a more conscious communication with the divine/yourself (through synchronicity, feeling, inspiration), despite how delusional that might sound to the common man. And now, in hindsight, I can look back at a dreadful depression and delusional moments with some gratitude, as it provided me a great useful contrast to more fully know who I really am and what actual happiness is. The gene myth As you may already have figured, trauma/negative imprints and the fear is what causes an imbalance in thought and behavior. Gene's do play (a rather small) role, as well as your environment, though ultimately it's the mind that decides what it beliefs in and how it wants to function in relation to it's beliefs. So no. Schizophrenia or any other developed mental illness does not get suddenly triggered caused by some gene; the concordance rate between identical twins and schizo. is around 25% and the concordance rate between fraternal twins is about 5%. This shows that people with exactly the same gene's have a 25% chance of getting schizo. together, not a 100%. Although the number is higher than of the fraternal twins, this may be caused be cause they are more susceptible to receiving emotional imprints, perhaps psychic functioning or because they were simply raised more similarly and gotten into the same circumstances and mental health system. So in short: gene's do not cause any developed mental illness. Well explained by some of the best professors in the world here as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36HquPzdxf4 It's caused by trauma Because of my own experiences I strongly belief that all disturbances simply come from being raised in an impure, dishonest, negative and simply insane world (which in truth is anything that does not display oneness), which we soak in as children which may or may not make us then extremely insane, or simply just a bit more so than the rest. This is not my view alone, I came to found out, there are quite a few (renowned) psychiatrists who see it this way as well, to name a few good psychiatrists and researched: Charles Whitfield (very good), Colin Ross, John Breeding, Ben Sessa and the list is not complete. - so TL:DR Don't be afraid of developing any mental illness, it can only come from too much emotional/mental baggage fundamentally which you can simply heal through (and probably mainly through) spirituality/meditation/self-inquiry and other modalities (expressing yourself, openly talking, music etc.). - (One of the most useful things I found is to conjure up fear through your imagination, to then feel in the body to then meditate on it.) Peace <3

Vipassana meditation for 1-2 hours a day in the morning is perfectly fine. If it gives you a certain feeling of affinity, if it gives you a certain feeling of well-being, if it gives you a certain feeling that this is for you, then be serious about it. Then forget the others techniques, do not play with other methods. Stick to it - at least three months. I don't agree with '10 days of intense meditation', it not good for beginners. Whenever someone begins meditation, he will become aware of many things of which he was not previously aware, and because of that awareness he will suffer. This is how things are, and one has to pass through them. You are becoming more unconscious. With a real, authentic meditation you will suffer more, because you will become more aware. So when you allow it to happen, you don´t escape, you don´t run, you are not in a panic, suddenly you become aware that suffering is there on the periphery as if happening to someone else, not to you, and you are looking at it. A subtle joy spreads all over your being because you have realized one of the basic truths of life, that you are bliss and not suffering. Suffering should not be end result.

Agreed! Yes, and here is something else I think is worth some notable consideration. The modern spiritual world seems to be obsessed with conflating enlightenment with a particular state of mind. Eternal bliss states etc, perfect goodness, or the mahatma ideal. I think even for a fair amount of mature people now who have devoted a good proportion of their time investing in their development are maybe also prone to believing that enlightenment itself is something to do with "purity". The purification is a large factor, but this is only really to get the mind quiet enough to understand that the Self is ever free of all states, and therefore its reflections are ALL reflections, the good the bad and the ugly. We don't generally think of an enlightened person as being a normal person, but this is what enlightenment actually is, the verses are saying "you are that already" no need to chase something that you already are. Its an irony that the route of the problem with the assumption that there is something "wrong" with us lies at the very doorstep of the messed up interpretations of the religions that were originally supposed to set us free. What a joke! I hope that these erroneous assumptions straightens themselves out in time

I've never had complete 'egoless' moments but I have had plenty of what I call peak experiences during which my ego has been largely 'irrelevent' and I've felt only pure peace, bliss, joy of the moment. A sense of beauty of the moment I guess. These experiences usually happened during moments where I was expecting nothing from the moment, and I was in complete acceptance of the moment. I often happens when I out in nature, There's a certain sense of 'awe' that accompanies it too. Everything about the 'story' of my life would become like a distant dream and in that moment, there was no story, no fears or worries, no 'life' as such. It's a beautiful thing.

Maybe perceiving everything as perfect brings you on the path to nirvana. But thats exactly the reason why those people who do not see everything as perfect and are trying to fix things for others who dont see everything as perfect and improving their finite lives should be considered much more of a saint than those who reach nirvana and live in constant bliss and can't be bothered by anything. Oh and by the way, its much easier to see everything as perfect, when you have a warm home, internet and most things that people in the past who didnt see things as being perfect broke sweat for, exactly because they were burnt by a fire that said: Nope, thats not really perfect.

Spirituality is a subjective experience, just like love. What is the criterion of love? Can you prove when you fall in love? Can you prove that really you have fallen in love? Is there a way to prove it? Is there any argument, any logic that will support you — any eyewitnesses? All that you can say is, “I know for certain that my heart is beating differently” — but that is something inner to you. You can say, “I am feeling so blissful,” but that is something subjective. You cannot bring some part of your blissfulness and show it to people as a criterion. Love, or truth, or bliss — they don’t have any criterion; they are experiences of the inner. Criteria are always of the outer. Don’t impose outer criteria for the inner — that is the fallacy of the video.

What are you going to do after having or realizing enlightenment experience(s)? How will it impact your decisions on how to live life here on earth? For me, it's a life purpose toward world peace. (Btw, you don't have to wait for an enlightenment experience to do this. There is karma. When you do this, your actions along the way could trigger experiences.) The reason is, during an enlightenment experience, you feel nothing but peace. If you see infinite, we are one - no embodiments of anything. There is no "pain and suffering" anymore. When you awake, you "feel" bliss - divine love. After thinking about it, you'll realize that the ego is just a fiction, just like all our emotions. These are the common features of enlightenment. I'm posting Leo's world peace clip and Shinzen Young's explanation of after enlightenment. https://youtu.be/ptkH0uK1uXM

Or any other enlightened master. Pure benevolence. When you're enlightened, your empathy levels are maxed out. You feel others' pain as your pain. When you're on the path to enlightenment, you really wish the word was capable of freeing themselves from self-inflicted suffering, but you realize it's fruitless. People are far too attached to their self-identity, as you once were. You don't judge them for it, but you love them as yourself. Also, every living being and everything in nature becomes a part of you. You love everything as you would yourself. It's the most purest form of love..no attachments, just pure bliss.

It is hard to pinpoint exactly what motivates me to do personal development specifically. I genuinely feel like I cannot come up with "one" singular answer. I maybe think part of it for me is being motivated from the journey itself - the ups, downs, growth and the bliss. Also the potential and the impact I can have on other people from staying on the journey. But as far as my life purpose, I feel more it is about growth, contribution and excellence. I love the idea of being an excellent human. That has always inspired me somehow.

I think some part of life purpose course is actually a small part( basically a beginning part and few rules) that one follows during the enlightenment. The topics like "The authentic self", "Detachment from outcome", "Follow your bliss", "Contribution", "facing your inner demons" and few topics are actually a small part of enlightenment. So I just wanted to confirm if Life purpose course is actually a combination of small part of enlightenment + designing a career, by raising that question.

Enlightenment is just the start. A station that your train pulls into. You need to keep going otherwise your constant flowing river will become a stagnant pond becoming more and more congested. You need to keep following your guidance system which can be joy, bliss, connection, inspiration, excitement, be more exited. Keep on heightening and evolving your vibration. Whether that be by posting on this forum or even non physically by knowing that what you are created the universe, knowing that before the appearance of form there was nothing there to be separate, there was just one. In that true non dual state you are and always have been that one. Remove the veil of forgetfulness and take evolution into your hands navigating infinite potential. Carry on rapidly accelerating only paying attention to what resonates most and disregarding everything that doesn't, learning faster and faster becoming more and more intelligent at an immediate pace. Know that there is no physical structure between you and your circumstance and see that circumstances are smoke and mirrors. Circumstance will only reflect what you choose to see and its like smoke, it seems something is there but when you try to grab it it turns out to be nothing. In this realization it will allow you to become a complete vibrational being. Create non physical manifestations by choosing only to see your preference making your reality what you have decided. Expand on your power, explore further into deeper possibilities and discover more and more of your true self. Or don't. Waking up to the realization that who you are is the eternal creator in form and your true self is the timeless space where everything is appearing, is just the beginning. This becomes circumstantially relevant and applies to the 'external' world where your degree of free agency and certainty can instantly, intuitively, genuinely address any situational dynamic by accessing the most effective outcome available in the moment. Have i been watching Bentinho Massaro more or less everyday for the last 5 months? -yes

Sounds like a very cool mystical experience you're describing. Now, the union that you probably had at that moment provided you I'd guess a kind of ownership of everything you were perceiving, right? This union can be felt and is apparently existent throughout all experience - the mystical and the normal kind of consciousness. It's like the underlying fabric of every experience you have. It creates your and every perspective as a ever-still moment we call now and simultaneously an ever kind of flowing existence of this world we a part of. So, this experience you had I'd guess put off a lot of the layers of self you normally wear on you and let you in on the underlying completeness of reality. Try to make this out in your normal life how everything you perceive flows while being in a complete still moment. And how there are reoccurring themes in everything that exists. See how everything that you can make sense out of is something that underlies certain rules and patterns and arranges itself not only beautifully but intelligently throughout everything. You really grew out of this world and wasn't popped into it. And you really are this no-thingness. You can realize that and be aware of the underlying completeness of every moment. And that's bliss.

@abundance The traditional form and concept of Tratak is indeed that of concentration. And through concentration, energy is generated and siddhis – psychic powers -- are developed; but that ultimate relaxation we are seeking, the meeting with God, does not happen. Concentration is a part and extension of the ego itself; through it you are not dissolved but strengthened. You are not melted but solidified like ice. Your powers increase, but not your bliss. The ability to concentrate is not something to feel blessed about. It is a frozen state of mind, a very narrow state of mind. Useful, of course, useful — for others. Useful in scientific inquiry, useful in business, useful in the market, useful in politics — but absolutely useless for yourself. If you become too attuned with concentration you will become very, very tense. Concentration is a tense state of mind; you will never be relaxed. Concentration is like a torch, focused, and consciousness is like a lamp, unfocused. If you meditate. first concentration will disappear and you will be feeling a little at a loss. But if you go on, by and by you will attain to an unfocused state of light — that’s what meditation is. Once meditation is attained. concentration is child’s play — whenever you need to, you can concentrate. There will be no problem about it and it will be easy and without any tension.

If you don´t escape, if you allow the suffering to be there, if you are ready to face it, if you are not trying somehow to forget it, then you are different. Suffering is there but just around you; it is not in the center, it is on the periphery. It is impossible for suffering to be in the center; it is not in the nature of things. It is always on the periphery and you are the center. So when you allow it to happen, you don´t escape, you don´t run, you are not in a panic, suddenly you become aware that suffering is there on the periphery as if happening to someone else, not to you, and you are looking at it. A subtle joy spreads all over your being because you have realized one of the basic truths of life, that you are bliss and not suffering.

Neither would I. But I think there's something deep to be learned from primitive societies. In modern societies, the constant stimulants and chasing of egoic pursuits are what fog the mind for humans. That's why most modernized people aren't spiritual or in-tune with consciousness and existence. It feeds into an illusion that only continues to get stronger - just look at the rising depression and suicide rates among developed nations. Only through great suffering do modernized people find bliss and happiness, something that is already acquired by the primitive peoples.

Here is something I read yesterday that may relate to that. "Give up even the desire to be experiencing the bliss of being it all".

Reality of Absolute, Infinite Awareness. Countless people today ask what it means to live a deeper spiritual life.... Beyond the old dilemma of whether to renounce the world or immerse oneself in it, the enlightened "Free Beings" (the Avatâra-Incarnations and awake adepts) show us how to freely transcend yet pervade the world with Love and Light through the Power of Pure Awareness. This Divine Reality of Pure Awareness, Open Presence or Spirit, the one Sacred Principle, is both beyond all yet within all. As the theologians say, this Divine Awareness/Reality is both transcendent and immanent. Not any kind of "thing" but the Source, Witness and Reality of all things, this God-Self is other than this world, yet right here animating and embracing this dreamlike world and all her deliciously unique beings. Let's be completely clear about This: Awareness is Who You Really Are, right HERE, right NOW, the Infinite, Open, Imperceptible (but quite live-able or be-able) Host for all "guest" experiences, as the Zen masters say. Awareness is the Supreme Self, the unseen Seer of seeing, the unheard Hearer of hearing, the unthinkable Thinker of thinking, as the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad (our oldest wisdom text) revealed Divine Truth nearly 3,000 years ago. Hence, anyone living and flourishing in/as Divine Awareness-Bliss-Love can be totally involved in the world while entirely uninvolved, fully engaged while completely free as the One Who Alone IS, the I AM THAT AM. This God-Self or Divine Dreamer, the true Living God, Pure Open Awareness, sports and adventures as "I am this" or "I am that," delightfully playing the always-poignant role of the individual human being or any kind of sentient being, eventually awakening ItSelf (from Its egocentric soul condition) to the clarity of Divine Presence, the only Reality. One's life, therefore, can be a beautiful unfolding flower of virtue, eventually fully blossoming into a life of Divine splendor.