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@Alexandre I question this all the time myself. Not exactly "identify", but more as to except the fact that mind is a part of reality. What is constant? The mind constantly witnessing a changing existence. Through the mind and a sense of I'ness, it experiences existence expressing itself in an infinite number of forms and also the realization of the oneness behind the many. Isn't that part of the miracle of existence expressing itself through the minds awareness of it? There is no "I" - O.K., but what is this unshakable witness that experiences this beautiful diversity of existence expressing itself in so many different forms? What sees these posts and responds to them? Something remains. Everything is in balance when the one is realized as being the source of the many within this realm of physical reality. That is not to say that mind will than cease to exist or we should deny it's existence if the one is realized as the true source of the many. I'm not talking to a point of fault as ego/self that excludes the whole, but to the point that diversity can be appreciated in each individual expression by the mind. I can only go by my experience of the one expressing itself in a multitude of beautiful expressions within existence through the minds eye. by Steve Taylor. If there is one concept which has been under constant attack by psychologists and philosophers over the last few decades, it is the idea of ‘you’ – that you are a real entity or ‘self’. Many modern philosophers and scientists suggest that this sense of being ‘someone’ is illusory, or just a simple product of brain activity. Somehow the billions of neurons in your brain work together to produce it, and all of the thoughts and feelings which it incorporates. This view was expressed very graphically by the scientist Francis Crick, who wrote that: ‘You, your joys and your sorrows, your memories and your ambitions, your sense of personal identity and free will, are in fact no more than the behavior of a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules.’ From a less biological perspective, the philosopher Daniel Dennett speaks of the illusion of the ‘Cartesian Theatre’, the sense that there is ‘someone’ in our heads looking out at a world ‘out there’, and also watching our own thoughts pass by. In reality, says Dennett, there are only mental processes. There are streams of thoughts, sensations and perceptions passing through our brains, but there is no central place where all of these phenomena are organised. Similarly, the psychologist Susan Blackmore has suggested that the self is just a collection of what she calls ‘memes’ – units of cultural information such as ideas, beliefs and habits. We are born without a self, but slowly, as we are exposed to environmental influences, the self is ‘constructed’ out of the memes we absorb. Modern neuroscience seems to reinforce such views. Neuroscientists claim to be able to ‘locate’ the parts of the brain responsible for mental phenomena such as aesthetic appreciation, religious experience, love, depression and so on, but they haven’t found a part of the brain associated with our underlying sense of self. Therefore, they feel justified in concluding that this doesn’t exist. ‘Ghosts don’t Exist’, says the Ghost There are many problems with the attempt to ‘reduce’ our sense of self to brain activity. This is related to ‘hard problem’ of explaining the origins of conscious experience – so-called to distinguish it from the ‘easy problems’ of mental abilities and functions such as memory, concentration and attention. Whilst we might be able to understand these phenomena, the problem of how the brain might produce consciousness is on a completely different level. The brain is just a soggy clump of grey matter – how could that soggy mass possibly give rise to the richness and depth of consciousness? To think that it could is a ‘category error’ – the brain and consciousness are entirely distinct phenomena, which can’t be explained in terms of each other. And on a more practical basis, after decades of intensive theorising and research, no-one has yet put forward any feasible explanation of how the brain might produce consciousness. The ‘hard problem’ seems completely insurmountable. There is a basic absurdity in these attempts to show that the ‘self’ is illusory. They always feature a self trying to prove that it doesn’t exist. They are caught in a loop. If the self is an illusion to begin with, how can we trust its judgements? It’s a bit like a ghost trying to prove that ghosts don’t exist. Perhaps it may be right, but its illusory nature doesn’t inspire confidence. Dennett and Blackmore are presuming that there is a kind of reliable, objective observer inside them which is able to pass judgement on consciousness – and that presumption contradicts their own arguments. That is the very thing whose existence they are trying to disprove. Related to this, there is a problem of subject/object confusion. All of these theories attempt to examine consciousness from the outside. They treat it like a botanist examining a flower, as an object to scrutinize and categorize. But of course, with consciousness there is no subject and no object. The subject is the object. You are consciousness. So it is fallacious to examine it as if it is something ‘other.’ Again, you are caught in a loop. You can’t get outside consciousness. And so any ‘objective’ pronouncements you make about are fallacious from the start. An interesting question to ponder is: why do human beings invest so much energy into trying to prove that they don’t exist? Why do scientists and philosophers seem so intent on proving that they themselves are illusions? Perhaps there is a kind of repressed suicidal impulse at work here. Perhaps the individuals in question experience a deep-rooted self-hatred and an impulse for self-destruction which, at conscious level, has been translated into an impulse to negate their own identity and existence. More likely, though, these views are symptom of the general nihilism of our culture, the collapse of values which has followed from materialistic science. The fact that these theories have become prevalent, despite being fallacious, shows how well they fit to the present ‘zeitgeist’. Subjective Investigation So does the self exist? Is there really anybody there inside your own mental space? I think the best way to answer the question is to take a different approach. Rather than attempting to analyse consciousness from the outside as if it is an object, the best approach is to embrace subjectivity, and delve into your own consciousness. Try meditation, for example. In deep meditation, you might find yourself in a state of complete mental quietness and emptiness, with no thoughts, no perceptions, no information processing, no concentration. In fact, this state can be seen as the ‘goal’ of meditation (at least according to some traditions). The philosopher Robert Forman has called it the ‘pure consciousness event’ – a state in which consciousness exists without content, and rests easefully within itself. I have experienced this state myself, and am familiar with its qualities. Paradoxically, although consciousness is empty, it has a quality of fullness too. It appears to be full of energy – a powerful energy which has a quality of well-being, or even bliss. (This is what Indian Vedanta philosophy describes as satchitananda – being-consciousness-bliss.) There is also a quality of spaciousness – somehow my own consciousness seems to become wider and larger, to spread beyond my own brain or body. This can lead to a sense of connection or even oneness – a feeling that my consciousness is merging with a force or energy which somehow seems fundamental to the world, or the cosmos. But most importantly in terms of my argument in this article, in these moments, one of the qualities of consciousness is a sense of ‘I’. There is still a sense of identity, even if this sense may be different to the identity of a normal state of consciousness. This identity does not feel separate or boundaried. It feels part of a greater unity, but still has a sense of I-ness. You could compare it to a wave having a sense of its own existence of a wave but at the same time being aware of itself as a part of the sea. There is still an ‘I’ which has awareness of itself and of its situation. From this point of view, it appears that consciousness or identity is not an illusion. In this state, there are no ‘memes’ and no streams of mental processes, but consciousness still appears to exist. I would therefore say that the sense of self is fundamental to us, from the deepest levels of our being. Of course, this fundamental sense of ‘I’ is acted on by all kinds environmental, social and psychological influences, and becomes ‘constructed’ to a large degree. You could compare it to how a Roman fort is built upon and expanded over centuries until eventually develops into a modern city. But there is a fundamental kernel of ‘I-ness’ which is always there, underlying all of the activity and all the construction

partly through meditation and partly through questioning my habits, points of view and observing my reactions in different situations and trying other one.. just for fun.. In my case this kind of pressure in the chest didn't disappear once for all, but rather step by step as if less chains held me and let me breath freelier. It needs time but maybe it's important in order to let all kind of mess definitively behind us..? I'm also convinced that every step in the "right" direction is a bliss which you can feel instantly.. and perhaps the secret of happiness is hidden in every little liberation if you only apreciate them? Even here in this forum.. There is so much love send to you, right? Take it and let it flow through you, let it give you the aliveness you need to enjoy the life in and around you Have a wunderful day

@carlo I will probably go with what @Emerald Wilkins said, I have had a similar experience in my past and didnt know why the pain occurred or I knew the reason(it was from a traumatic event) but even after the event for a very long time I experienced a unbearable pain in my chest and also on my arms. I used to bite myself when that occured just to feel something else. I also experienced unvoluntary obes and sleep paralysis.(I didnt know what it was at that time and didnt understand it either). Basically my reality was crushed because I realized that there is no meaning to life(I say this with caution, Im not saying life is useless but its like a hobby, you do it because you enjoy it and might have no particular purpose other that having fun) and that "the system" is one great big lie. I was after truth and hunted it down ferociously. Eventually I stumbled upon Leo's vid of the truth and after that was when I had my first enlightenment experience. I experienced the so called complete state of bliss and the night after that I was driving and the social conditioning was spinning on the outside of my head(I didnt see it but I felt it and heard it). Honestly it was a very aakward/weird experience but I had a immense relief after that happened.

@Ire @arletbode In the Big Leap there is on example in which on guy dies working himself to death.. The author told him to start doing what he loves at least one hour daily... following your bliss would be the key to find your Zone of Genius, the Zone of Excellence is the one where you get comfortable and in which society wants you to be, Even I didn't find how to find the Zone of Genius in the first reading, so reading it again.. Try to take down few notes if you can and do the exercises, follow the process and forget about the results.. (finding the Zone of Genius)

If I may pick your brain here for a moment. You say that "Enlightenment is only one of the infinite technological accomplishments that might be available to humanity during the next few decades." What specifically do you mean by technological? Have you at all considered what would happen when our minds/thoughts were transported into machines? Perhaps we would see things as they truly are with the ego dying and as machines we would simply sit there and bliss out with realization of what is without human minds and faulty perceptions. I am interested in what you think of this matter though. I think it will be interesting to see what a fully fledged, smarter than a human A.I. will say about existence because they will be able to tell us before we can get to their state. In fact through A.I. helping us is the only way that we would be able to reach the singularity if it is proven to be a true possibility. With quantum computing taking off and machine learning getting more complex by the days we are potentially only years away from learning of so many things we as a race have yet to consider. Who wants all of these things listed? I see a lot of "I"

@Henri,@cetus56 Two days of further study, some talks with others and contemplation bring me to the following conclusions: The HeartMath Institute claims the device measures the heart/brain coherence, while what it actually measures is the HRV. They are using too much mumbo jumbo in their promotion, their prices for seminars, coaching and extended programs are too high. Their techniques can in best case bring some relief, but they won't handle the real roots of the spiritual strife of the people who use the techniques in the way they're presented. The device may be interesting, BUT what should be taken into consideration is that it ONLY reads the physical effects of the persons creation, and that it is us, spiritual presences, who produce the impact on the physical body and our environment. (bold emphasis by @Isle of View) @cetus56 I am sorry for your loss. But a device like this is not really something that can bring solace or a sense of freedom to a person who is facing death. The only thing that really helps is a founded spiritual deepness you work towards while you are alive. The device and some new-agey technique will not give him (or anyone) the real understanding of his spiritual nature. The device will not help you in short-time to experience the peace and bliss you can achieve when you have a really founded, long term meditation experience (or any other spiritual insight for that matter). It's only a device, measuring your heart rate. Like a thermometer reads the temperature of the body. Thank you all who participated in this thread. All that glitters is not gold. Chris

Visioning : Strategic Thinking Looking at the world with a purpose in mind. Imagining some great version of the future, setting out to accomplish it. That is the first step, the one I love most, because it makes me feel like a little child, playing around, being naive, doing whatever I want. Then comes reading, gathering intelligence. Going and finding important information. Information that we need in order to succeed. I like this step as well, it’s relaxing. We start studying great principles, understanding deep truths, combining sources. And we also start to change the inner circumstances of our lives, we start preparing ourselves against adversity, we grow ourselves to thrive in an unpredictable and uncontrollable world, we become fit. And finally come execution and adaptability. We start putting in the habit, and we start to error-correct, we take action toward our goals. This one is cool too because we derive deep bliss from functioning at our prime. This whole concept of strategic thinking is amazing. I love it because it allows for serious long term goals to happen. Huge goals like fulfilling one’s life purpose, transforming one’s entire way of life, those do not happen overnight, but they’re amazing to pursue. It also allows for action to be taken now, today, every day until the intent is realised. And that’s cool because it makes us feel so amazing, like “Oh yeah I’ve got this outrageous goal and I’m working on accomplishing it now”. This activity is one of the most valuable activity anybody can undertake. Thinking about the future and planning consciously to take the right action toward that future really does make you happy. Tiny Success : Bad shit. This morning, I just forced myself to do work that matters. Also something I’ve been feeling recently is that I feel bad about doing bad habits, so it’s really easy for me to dismiss them. I can’t trick myself into thinking that watching a video about personal development is going to help me, because I am fully aware that it’s not. This allows for great work to happen. And this also allows for my happiness levels to go up. This morning I just got happy. I was walking down the street and suddenly I was happy, like really happy, not stimulation happy. The abundance pleasure Maslow defines as the ecstasy of functioning at one’s prime. This was the first time I ever experienced that in my whole life. Tiny Failure : Lazied out On Friday afternoons, I don’t have school. Which is a great opportunity to do work that matters. But today I didn’t. I did a lot of other little things for the family, not for myself. I don’t see myself doing so much of that stuff in the future. I see myself having lots of free time, doing whatever I want. And I can be there because I’m a good executor. I know I won’t do too much of bad habits, and I know I will do enough good work. I’d lazy out at times but not too much, in fact I have a ritual for it; engage in a Feed Your Muse activity to get myself back on track. Habits Meditation : I feel like I’ve been having diminished results ever since I cut it down from 1h to 30min. I’ll try to find a way to do more of it even when I’m still going to school. Visualisation : I realised that my mind spends lots of its imaginative energy into really stupid shit. Sometimes I talk to myself as if I was talking to somebody in a scene from my recent past. Dinner : I was dining alone with my brother tonight, no one else was there. We talked a bit about Self-Actualization work. It was useless. Although it is going to be interesting to see what he’s going to do regarding this.

@Henri Well that's too bad. Let me tell you where I'm coming from. I have a friend that is dying with cancer. The doctors didn't give him much time. He is just a regular guy that got the devastating news that his life will be ending very soon. Imagine for a moment that something that was safe and controlled like bio-feedback could bring a sense of peace and bliss to his life and would show him that no matter what happens, it is going to be all right. If he could experience what long term meditators experience in his short time he has, that would be a blessing. I wish everyday that he could experience the peace and bliss that there is something beyond what we normally experience as a personal self. As of now that can only be done through administering drugs.

Leo's new video, "Grasping the illusory nature of thoughts", hit home for me. Thoughts imprison the mind and conciously mastering the hold on a thought(s) that have on the self allows one to break free of the mind. Exploring the true nature of the Self, Mind and Consciousness is the realization of not knowing, thereby attainment of actualization in knowing that we don't know. The process of Enlightenment has always excited me. But the feeling of dread arises the more I think about the loss one must experience on this path. Is it enough to know that all that we are is not what it is to be? To have initially wanted to believe in a meaning to life, but then to realize that all this "meaning" is the illusion that is spun by the Thoughts of the Mind. We long for meaning to give us a sense of purpose and yet to realize this truth is to realize that the purpose is to let go of the meaning that make-up our thoughts. Meanings are an illusion. In all my experience of loneliness, I feel like I have never felt all the more as I do now.... I suppose I've always known the cost in embarking on this journey, but I was distracted by the thought that in attaining enlightenment, I could attain true content and happiness and a sound mind. Another "thought" ruling my mind. Can't actualize without letting go of one's illusory construct of reality. Our reality is how we know the Self...the self is all we know. "Ignorance is bliss" comes to mind. To stay connected to our "reality" as we know it, and this knowing allows us to feel comfortable with meanings to live by. Or, to self-actualize and grow as a Being by learning to grasp the mastery of control by severing the hold of the Self imposed by the Ego. The problem with either route is that I simply go from feeling humanly lonely to complete and utter ultimate lonliness. I feel like I cannot become an effective contributer in my future vocation if I cannot master this level of control, which is at the expense of becoming more lonely. How can I see this conclusion of mine differently? I would really love some insight to this dilemma of mine...

@khalifa i would advise to start with your body (really the only 'thing' you truly own). Get fit. Furthermore...you already said what you want. " i want to just generally help people out " That's a very noble goal. Go for it. Don't limit yourself to engineering. About living carefree and not worrying about bills etc. You're absolutely right. Remember...a man/woman is rich when all his/her desires are met. İf you desire a ferrari or a bike...makes a huge difference. A minimalistic lifestyle is a bliss.

@Huz88 "Thoughts are virtually silenced" but they are still there in the form of awareness. Awareness is also thought. There is nothing to attain spirtually except the thought that there is nothing to attain Buddha himself is quoted as saying something like this (guess he is quoted as saying something like"he gained nothing from enlightenment" but i dont want to google it now). You can change thoughts and thats all you can do. Everything is as real as you think it is and as important as you think it is. Enlightenment, i dont know what that is but the way i think it someone who thinks he is as special and important as anything in the unverse is someone who is in tune with his existence. About strong sitting meditation i stumbled upon a youtube video of a budhist monk who is a monk since he was 12 or something, meditating all the time duiring his teen years in Sri Lanka. In his early 20s he went to USA and he talked about getting furious on the bus because the bus was full and nobody gave him the seat and in Sri Lanka people stand up for the monks. He said he got so mad he told other monk he wouldnt stay in USA. Took him time to calm down and tame his ego. What i want to show you with the previous example is that you can try to do whatever people tell you should do in terms of meditation but until you understand how useless it all is for thought transformation, it will do more harm than good. The way i think it you are better off thinking about what is meditation and what is thought in its various forms than trying to shut down thought just because of what others think. Write a prisoner with solitary confinement experience about strong sitting meditation and see what he will tell you. Many guys in prison locked up 23 hours a day meditate a lot and get into yoga but they dont become spiritual gurus because of it, or experience permanent bliss because of it. They can think they are out and free through meditation but only for a while. Only the ones who go crazy (crazy meaning unable to function and survive efficiently) will claim they are elightened, special, in perpetual bliss tec etc. I think about how insignificant everything and everyone on earth was before they existed and how insignificant everything and everyone will be after this planet is gone. This thought has always helped me put everything in perspective. Im not special and i will never be. Nobody is. Show me someone who doesnt need to breath to keep the heart pumping and i show you someone unique, special, who has something no mamal in the universe has. Show me someone who claims he never lied or lies and i show you a liar. Here is a video of the monk who told the bus story. One of his videos, i dont know if its the bus one.

Saarah, You wake up each morning...you have awakened. Where did you come from when you awoke this morning? Where were you in deep sleep? Unlearn all the conditioning of how to be happy. An unconditioned 5 year old child Inhabits bliss with a rubber spatula for hours. "Pee" as Ajax mentioned, question yourself as Corte has, charlie2dogs has offered help as well. Quiet the mind, the hair on your head doesn't require thoughts to grow.

04/29/16 I went to the Lorna Jane store yesterday. I bought myself a new workout outfit. I have to motivate myself to stay healthy and strong. Because I'm worth it. Before my meditation, I had to put some sucks on because my feet were really cold. Ok, I'm ready to begin now! I'm not here for power and control. I'm here to serve others. I'm here to be obedient. I will share everything that I receive with all of you. In order for you to receive, first you must empty yourself. You need to become an empty vessel. Is there vessels that are available? Where are my vessels? I need vessels of every shape and size. Tall and short, wide and narrow. I need my vessels of every color. Dark ones and the light ones. I need vessels that are transparent and the vessels that are opaque. There is so much that is coming. I must be obedient, I must share all that I receive. I must focus my mind. I must open my ears. I must open my heart. I must have a clear throat. I must surrender fully. I must receive new rare seeds. I must learn how to water them. I must learn how to nurture and care for theme. I feel so much bliss right now. I feel pure intelligence flowing through me. Prepare vessels for me that are of the forest and of the sea. Vessels that are of the earth and the air. Pure vessels and impure ones, all vessels are needed. Prepare vessels that are whole and the vessels that are broken. The vessels that are sick and the vessels that are healthy. Vessels that are alive and the vessels that are dying. Make these vessels deep for your oil to flow into. All vessels are needed. I connected myself with the Devine and, I interceded for all the vessels to be prepared. Everyone who will hear my worlds, these vessels will be emptied and prepared. I was receiving powerful energy, that was flowing through me. The energy was rippling out of me in the powerful way. Life itself was in him/her, and this life gives light to everyone. John 1:4 What was with the rain and the thunder storm tonight? My pet cat was so afraid, she was hiding under the blanket. (Sorry, this was really random,)

For what I learned it is similar to TM (Transcendental Meditation), but it won't empty your wallet. This is my fifth day practicing this meditation, this is what I wrote on facebook a few days ago: "Today I experienced samadhi (pure consciousness or pure awareness) for the first time. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Life changing. I'm not the same anymore. The curious thing is that I wasn't looking to experience this while I was meditating, I just followed the steps and it just happened to me. I experienced total well-being, bliss. It was a beautiful thing. It felt so very good, like nothing I have experienced before. What did it, is this type of meditation called NSR (Natural Stress Relief), which is a very easy and simple technique, that makes all the difference in the world, I can't even believe it. I had this experience on just the second day of trying this new meditation. Totally different from the previous method I was using for 500+ times, which was a form of mindfulness. With NSR I felt so so relaxed, very deep, I've never felt so relaxed in my whole life. But it's not just feeling relaxed, it's an indescribable peacefulness, so very sweet. Ha, I can't even believe what I'm saying. But that's what I experienced. I just wish that others could feel what I felt. This is a total game changer for me." It looks like, at least for me, this type of mantra meditation has worked. I really wanted the mindfulness meditation to work, but I didn't get that deep into it. akbal

Neither being alone or being with your friends is the answer. Sure, you shouldn't spend all of your time submerged in negativity, but there is probably a lot you can learn from them. A way that you can go a little deeper within yourself is to try to remain completely aware of the situation you're in, the people you're around, and realize the bliss of the moment. I think a good balance between solitude and socializing (no matter who it is) is necessary, as with anything. It's almost like two realties at once. Your inner reality where you are content and aware with everything happening around you and open to new experience, and the outer reality of your environment where your oblivious friends are playing in. I find that when I categorize people as negative, I'm cutting myself off from experience that I need. Keep in mind, I say negative as in people who aren't aware as you, or have bad mental habits. If they are engaging in illegal or detrimental acts, by all means stay far away. I too have no friends who I consider aware, but that has no effect on my own awareness. I continue to grow myself regardless of the people around me. I know it may be impossible with some people, but maybe suggest doing something with your friends like spending time in nature, or slowly introduce them to subjects (psychological, spiritual, scientific etc.) that might help them to get on the same path as you.

"Do Nothing" + strong determination sits seem to look so easy to you on the surface but you don't see what they bring up. These simple practices put you through a lot of cycles of "now you see it" / "now you don't". And in the latter one you sometimes think you get mentally ill from this work. So yes, it's brutal at times up to the point where you built up enough awareness so that you notice there is something that is ever-present. And then you investigate that and it seems that it is the only no-thing that can be you and that it was "always in front of you". And when that point is reached, you get it why some people say: "There is nothing you can do to see it. Because the very thing you really have to do to see it, is stop wanting to see something and then notice what remains." But to come to this realization a lot of de-hypnotization needs to be done for a lot of people (me included). When this happened, life and this journey becomes a lot easier. Within this journey so far I had 7/8 months of complete terror and I'd say 4-5 months of silence and bliss so far. I needed the terror and it was brought up by "Do Nothing" and strong determinations sits to build the awareness.

Exactly! Life has no purpose,Life in itself is the purpose. This is a state of bliss but the test comes when the Tax Man knocks at your door. When IRS calls.How one would react? Enlightenment is the end of suffering. It's a state of permanent bliss.

Wanted to stop by and share with you my great mood and this bliss I am experiencing now. This is so strange because just yesterday I had a big empty hole within me (I have been contemplating on life purpose and realizing there is none). I can not wait till watch this video about Existential Crisis promised by Leo last time. This morning I had an insight that it is such a miracle to be a part of this reality, just see the sun in the window of my office, be a part of humanity, just being among my colleagues. You know guys, for some reason, I thought about all those people who died recently in air crushes, in Brussels, dying at war…..and that’s it for them. I think I still struggle to penetrate this knowledge of one time and only one opportunity to be alive! Feels like I am going to live forever. Is it even possible to grasp this fully, or some kind of defensive mechanism preventing us from this knowledge?

Addiction: Avoidance of Nothing Date: 4/20/16 Time: 8:03 PM - 8:54 PM Day #: Day 2 Feelings Felt Psychologically: Bliss,Confusion Feelings Felt Physiologically: Some neck strain Questions You Asked Yourself: Wtf is going here? Who am I? Why is this happening? Who am I suppose to meet? Is my Life Pre-determined How Do You Feel After Your Session?: The sessions weren't complete, they had disturbances and were made of 20 minute chunks due to the disturbances. I felt a lot of confusion as to what's going on.

Addiction: 2 days of Pmo Date: 4/20/16 Time: 8:18 PM - 8:54 PM Day #: Day 1 Feelings Felt Psychologically: Distress Feelings Felt Physiologically: Not many feelings Questions You Asked Yourself: Why am I doing this, how will this benefit me, why did I start watching porn and am forcefully yet consciously trying to destruct myself? How Do You Feel After Your Session?: I broke down crying, the porn was just a form of self sabotage, I was trying to destruct myself so I could feel intense feelings of bliss and alleviate suffering, so I needed to be enlightened, to be one with the void. Suicide was the answer, now I know what I was chasing, an escape from a very,very deep neurosis ; Clarity

My motivation = everlasting existence without beginning or end. Oh and the imperturbable peace/bliss thing sounds pretty cool too

@Mat Pav Thanks for your reply from `Down Under` mate... On comments; ok, I can agree, nothing wrong to be meant. On teachers and beliefs; talking from enlightenment-perspective on teachers and beliefs. In a way everyone is your teacher, starting with your mom when you are born. Beliefs are always open to discussion, just because it`s a belief. Belief is a means, never a goal. On drugs; I`m experienced. Weed, Ganja, LSD, mushrooms, cocaine and XTC. I used to work in `coffeeshops` in Holland. I grew my own weed. All my life I was very much interested in, like you, everything that`s got to do with the mind, psychology, trans-personal stuff, philosophy and the Huxley-gang. So I know where you guy`s are after when doing psychedelics, there`s nothing strange about that. It`s just that I very consciously had to experience the consequences also. When giving up, sitting down to find out truth, living in ashrams I was forced to endure those consequences and I can tell you it was hell. The shit that came out physically, mentally, emotionally was exhausting. The pranayamakosha was almost ruined. For weeks I had nightmares where I before never even remembered a dream. Meditation was hell, `demons` rising up and much more shit. Experiences I had while under influence of drugs where still alive in my head, coming back all the time but now twisted and formed in other shapes. Due to great luck, good fortune or good karma I met someone who gave me a total cleansing up process to undergo. This was my salvation though it took 6 weeks to accomplish. Years later I had the bliss to enter the state of Samadhi. And from my experience mate, I can tell you that it is of another category than psychedelics. Had I before the opinion that heaven on earth was my experience to live with my love on the beach in Goa, tripping almost every day, than I knew heaven on earth is really something else. So the warning about drugs is out of experience though I am able to understand you all out there. And I am telling you that tripping has got nothing to do with the state of Samadhi. So if you are after enlightenment, do not take drugs. If you just want the good life, go for it.

A hedonic electricity strikes my body from head to feet. The absolute symptom of diviness shines through. All tears were well deserved for this moment. Every challenge was just right. Every frenetic journey of the mind is now destroyed into the fire of Completion. I arrive at the peak of my inner mountain ecstatic and spellbound by the view. Nobody, not even death, cannot destroy this prehistoric Miracle of Mine. I’m One With All , every gaze I look I see myself, every bird , every shadow, every dream and every nightmare, ME, recognized, shining through, sitting on the inner Rock of Solitude, admiring my wondrous work! I am the One Unseen Unfathomable and Unbroken . A sweet, divine pride strikes my body! An unspeakable Bliss caresses me! For this moment I lived thousands of agonizing lives. This is the highest bliss, the recognition of Self as profound Love and Divine Lust, the recognition of Self as the everpresent Awareness , timeless time and spaceless space!

@The Village Idiot I love how dedicated you are with your five hour daily meditations and i love how you're experimenting with meditation techniques and how you feel the deep bliss and the benefits of meditation. I'm also glad that you enjoy meditation which is a great motivator to continue your meditation.

@Richard Alpert Spirituality is about up-lifting the spirit. In a healthy `spiritual` way one has to undergo specific training before even have the possibility to get to the point to experience Samadhi. This training is essential. You are preparing your 4 kosha`s (bodies) and work with body, mind, intellect and the energy, the prana. It`s like building a house, you first need a good foundation. In that sense it is possible to get to the top of the house without even having a foundation that is ready. Off course. You can take a ladder and climb 10 meters high to join the view. But it`s dangerous, you can easily fall down. The reason so called enlightened ones fall down doing ordinary human stuff like the common stories about teachers having sex with their pupils is just because of that. They never build a good foundation, it`s just waiting for their karma to get activated. So would you call someone who climbed the ladder a spiritual person? Would you call him a good constructor? I would call him ignorant and fooled, though their experiences can off course be profound to the untrained eye. The video about Ram Dass telling his experiences with mushrooms is a good one. He is having this amazing experience with his ego, his personality and the transcendence of it. Sure it`s spectacular. The funny thing though is that Ram Dass is so immersed in telling how his experience was, telling all the little details of it, how transforming it all was to him. But it is in no way comparable with experiencing Samadhi. You have ever heard someone talk that way when coming out of Samadhi? No, it`s a total different category. The first Samadhi you`ll experience is when in the building process the highest point is reached. You can walk up the stairs and enjoy the view all around from different viewpoints. You see easily the still unfinished work in a very safe way. And the biggest difference is that when you come down the stairs to join the other constructors you are not going to tell them what an amazing experience you have had. No, you point them out what`s the work still to be done. You support them with their own unfinished jobs and you`ll do that with compassion, love, joy, where in no way any `I` is involved. You have become the perfect teacher and manager, the one who knows. So we can argue if the view on top of the ladder is comparable with the view on the rooftop. To my opinion it`s not and I state that with the same video about Ram Dass. In Samadhi there is no room for bad trips, fear and anxiety. Samadhi is total bliss, Sat, Chit and Ananda.