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@Shin that is when you become Aware of your true nature. Everything happens within Awareness. Nothing was ever experienced out of Awareness. So awareness and what appears in it is tied together. There is a painter and a painting which exactly reflects what the painter intended. So we could identify with one Little aspect of the painting (be it dark or shiny) or with the creative force behind which includes the painter, his Colors, his canvas and his intelligence = god = nothingness

free will is being able to have Options to respond and chosing one of them as a consequence. do you have Options when you are not consciously chosing but compulsively or according to your "likes" and "dislikes"? are you really at the receiving end in this creation and have therefore no free will? Or are you as well the creator in fact at the giving side? Isn`t it that the receiving end version (victim side) is the Illusion and the giving side is what your truely are? (creator, god, nothingness whatever) check this out:

I.N.R.I. In nothingness reveals infinity. I have no affiliation to the cross, I just came up with this for trivia means.

Sorry for the length of this post, I just had some stuff to get out of my chest, so I don't feel bad after . Legend goes Taurus wrote his first book on a Leo Comment section as his first post in the community. Since then everyone both loved and hated him for he was the Taurus. Reading is a function. You can call that function. Or you can choose to run another function. But stick all your attention in one function, like reading, because that's the only thing you're doing right now. Or breathing. I mean, right now you are breathing AND reading this. because if you weren't reading it, you wouldn't know I said it, and if you're reading it, you definitely must be breathing, otherwise you'd be dad. Let the body control the breath, because it is vital. Don't let your monkey mind close you your breath ever. You dont want to give the tail of the snake to the snake, because it will hurt the snake. Give out LOVE to receive LOVE. Love is the best story, love is the best life. Love is when your life works out perfectly, exactly how you want it, because in every moment you want exactly this. The thing that is happening to you. You want to be reading this and you are enjoying your body, as if you are consuming energy all the time and receiving the pure joy of having a position and the thought that you are something and that you matter to someone. Like getting reputation on Actualized.org or becoming a dragon with wings and burning the entire existence just for the LOLS, because you are a keyboard warrior and you can say what you wanna say and do what you wanna do, because life is too precious to waste it on typing slowly. Type as fast as you can, and you can never bee spoken down upon. Cause nobody's reading that far, who am I kidding [Reply by Anonymous Keyboard Warrior] lol that kid cares -Taurus [+1B reputation] because Yeah, I am a keyboard warrior, but there is a reason for it. And that reason is South park. They make me into a keyboard warrior with the ideas that they allow my mind to think is possible. And that's fucking possible, because it's happening. I can say anything. It's art. It's drawing. Drawing something into nothing in a virtual space that will soon be gone and forgotten never seen by anyone, nobody noticing what is right infront of their face. The beauty of life itself, not finding a truth, because one has to see the truth is all around them and be satisfied with what they have and actually be truthful that everything around them is beautiful. It's like the prettiest girl being in-love with you, but you are too honourable to leave your station as keyboard warrior. That's how ready I am for this. My ships of freedom of speech are vast and of many varieties. The first variety I need to specify is the variety of chance. When I am not thinking, I am thinking that there's 0 chance of something happening. But then reality proves me wrong, by showing me, look, you were wrong. Now learn. You are an awesome machine. But you gotta stop trying to control it, because it has a momentum of it's own, we are the master of ourselves. We are the puppetmasters of our selves. We are high above, controlling ourselves from as high as we want. And if we're eccentric freaking maniacs we will go so deep, that we become the servant. The real master serves to the servant. Because it's a friendship - You do something for me, I have to do something for you. Certainly that's how Thesis: Nobody will read this, even though reading is the most amazing activity. By itself in itself, you become the page. The empty space... Because when you write something that you wrote you create the 3d space in which intelligence to shine. Nobody can move your muscles but yourself. Feeling relaxed is better than feeling good. You can be in grave danger, and still be calm, because if you show fear, the enemy will know. You gotta be fearless. Like a cat that has to be a Lion to protect it's kittens. So I can say anything I want..! Oh My. I decided to edit and made this post into a ritual, so I strongly urge people not to read this, because it's my own secret private place that I don't want anyone to see. And you are going to see it - reading is the best thing you could be doing at this moment. Not even that, reading this will be the most enjoyable thing to you, because it is so unlikely to be happening, that it is a universal experience, one of a kind, one that cannot be replicated and yet it has been replicated, and we are the ssame, but freekidi doo dah. +....@ <-We all got issues like this guy, but that doesn't mean we can't let them go. Letting go. Reading on like a feather being pushed slightly in a single direction and then the other. You are surfing on my words. Please pop on. You are reading only the tops of each letter and you know the letters in 3d form. You are the most amazing code. Too bad it can't run the function. A prayer and a meditation are functions. Everything else is brushing with white. The only important thing is hidden in the junk. Sometimes you have to really deep dig in the dirt to find the gold. We can fail. But we do it anyway, because who cares, we are still reading and we are training the mini intelligence within. Actually fuck that scratch that I can give less fucks? Nobody's reading this junk, someone might even think it's spam, cause they will be freaked by the amount of letters coming their way. But if I say Sorry for the length of this post, I just had some stuff to get out of my chest, so I don't feel bad after. I am saying secrets that can bring joy and beauty to this word through complete transformation of your thought to be just light, screen. The empty page in front of you, which you want to fill with the present moment and the filling of the empty space. While only thinking about the empty space, you are going to be able to say or do anything you want, because you are free to do so. This is a state of thought so amazing, because every single little decision seems like is coming from you, while in fact it is coming from the mother god who is the motherboard to existence, a mountain so huge and beautiful, it has cast us away for being too simple. Until we jump forth and do what we had forgotten we can do. This is filling the nothingness with something. You are doing that just by being and this is your golden form, just being yourself, relaxing and letting your body take care of the work, while you are drifting off into fairytail land where you meet god and all his angels and you go into all that deep stuff you know. The deep shit. But the SIMPLE reality is that you change conciousness all the time. Conciousness is just your state of mind, state of conciousness is state of mind looked through the prism of the mind. the mind is like a snake chasing it''s tail cause it has nothiing else to left. It's playing cat and mouse, so it spun and spun, faster and faster until one day she realized she was alone, the black colour alone. The feeling of intense joy and aliveness that I feel when I am in front of the blank page. It gives me all the freedom in the world to type big scripts and incredible stories, if only I switch the music on. I'm gonna do Yoga and return. I am the only one in the room. I am typing these words. At this moment this is what I want to say the most. It's me again'ts nothing. There's no thing on the page. It's just me and the page. Ok. We have established connection to headquarters. We are here and now, ready to type away. We are incredible machines of vast superpowers to use the keyboard of a device that can grant wishes. You can play with it, it's just another wave. Ok. Too Deep. Let's bring it back to the beginning. In the beginning there was time? Wait, what time is it? 23:57. I must be in another state of consciousness because of my meditation sessions earlier. Either my mind is playing tricks on me, or you're still reading it at this point. What I am about to say, you are not going to skip. And even if you skip them, I wouldn't mind, because if you skipped these words, then I know you did not even read them, so I am safe to write, because it is illogical for anyone to ever be watching what I am saying at this moment. It's about waves really. ~What is a wave? A structure perhaps, but listen. This is my presentation. I put forth to you the power of the waves. It's not me tho,, I am learning too The hands are doing all the work, ALL I have to do was sit myself in front of the blank screen and allays look at the blank. We don't even need to think about how we write because we are doing it automatically. I can safely say that if you are reading at this point, you are really loving this because otherwise you wouldn't even be doing it. My mind does this by itself, and it does it because it doesn't matter if anyone else experiences this text, the speed with which I am typing it and the very concentration I have over this activity is taking me out of my usual state of nothingness and puts me in the field of large texts and big numbers. The numbers make no difference, because there is infinity between 0 and 1 and they are not even that big of numbers, in FACT they are the primal numbers, the white and the black were their ancestor. The computer is humanity's child yet to be born. It's our canvas. Our art is waiting to be born in it's amazing saving and sharing potential. Man, the internet is awesome. For expression. But I am straying away from what is primary. The primary thing is that we are both experiencing this text in a certain way. And we can only experience it in the human way, the real human way, is to be in front of the screen, completely encapsulated by what you are doing in the online world, defeating dragon code at work. Now comes my choice. I am literally doing training for my hands. My hands are teaching my body. They are dancing on the keyboard my typing is really sexy Any girl will fall for a keyboard warrior like me because I am not going to let her attention go. I will alllways add another line and be the perfect human being for her, because that's what she wants. She wants me to be a real human. Not some superhuman freak with 100 abilities like reading minds or astral projecting into other realms. Other realms can fucking wait, because my conciousness is completely absorbed with the screen, and the virtual reality of the empty space that I am filling with my black ink of art. On a FREAKING AWESOME Friday night. A night so memorable I can already see. Behind me as the story of being a human body. And boy, I love water so much, because it gives me pure white energy from the source and is giving me gold on the inside that is pouring over my internal and exteral reality. It can do things on it's own better than if I control it I understood, that when nobody has the ultimate rules, you can be anything, because you set the rules. Being an atheist is the best blessing, because they are not expecting anything from anyone, and therefore taking things into their own hands. And use the power of the present moment... Fuck that. It's not even the present moment. I just am myself. And when someone is themselves they have impecable word and what they say is what it is. It's solidified, so nobody will tell me that I can't say this or this or this. Well. I need to relax. I am still the master owner of this white little space of nothingness. Nobody else can reach the fast speed that I am achieving at this moment as two spiders jumping on top of a laptop. This is my reality at this moment. I had forgotten nay, I have forgotten. Why Am I doing this? I am going to do Yoga. Look at the top. It's like you've travelled through time, look at the start of this. You used to be a peasant to the nothingness, but now you are filling it with something. That's the power. We are making something new here. Those pixels in infinity wouldn't have existed in this order unless I put them there at this exact same order. This feels fantastic and I am not one to lie about this. We have to admit our body knows more than us and we are the body. Lol that kid thinks he's enlightened? No. He is exercising his finger muscles to move around the keyboard in a sense of I don't even care. Just don't even care about what you have to write and see how smart your body is ;o.

does it mean that seeking Enlightenment is the symptom of some kind of a failure ? Is it a "quest" for those who did not find any fulfilling/ enriching/ captivating other way to spend their time ? (since we can chose whoever we want to be since we are nothingness (for me it's like we are all like cups of different shapes and we choose to put everything we want to within))

Whenever i ask myself if i am aware, i get the distant inner visualisation of a shining point circling nothingness, as if my mind is saying: thats the closest you can come to seeing yourself. Its like my very question is the light that starts circling around "me", the undefined that im trying to see and define.. Trying to shine on me, from every angle. Looks like an atom to me.

@Lynnel This took me a while to understand as well. Basically you are in an empty space of nothingness and everything in front of you is created by you. When I had my void experience I realized that everything I see are just colors and shapes that form into objects which made me realize that it was impossible to know anything, we can only know things conceptually. This is going to take a lot of work to realize but start questioning everything that you know to be true. Overtime you'll realize that you don't know anything for certain and enter into a state of confusion, which hopefully your true self will start to reveal answers for you

Hello, I am 36 years old from Germany and interested in "spiritual topics" for more than a decade now. But within the last couple of months the momentum seems to pick up and I would like to share the experiences. I just stumbled upon Leos interesting videos and that is the reason I joined this forum. Maybe someone is experiencing the same or similar things. For some years I was content to watch YouTube Videos of masters like Mooji, Eckard Tolle or Sadhguru (which I liked best). I watched them quite often and felt good about listening. In a way something within me seemed to say "Yes" to their views. Besides that I was reading books and doing online courses like Inner Engineering. regarding Meditation I am really lazy and not so motivated also I try to do my short Kriya Meditation every day (sitting with eyes closed and thinking "I am not the Body, I am not the Mind with inhalation respectively Exhalation for several minutes). I think there must be a more efficient way as to sit through endless hours of meditation. At least for me. As I was on a business trip (I am a stock market expert) I was walking through the streets and contemplating about what I just read in Sadhgurus book "A yogis guide to joy". I am responsible (response-able) for everything that is. I looked on the streets on the People, the whole scenery and there was the thougth "that is all here just for me to respond" Suddenly I started Feeling my arms vibrating with energy and also it was really cold outside my arms were getting really warm if not hot while vibrating. It felt as if my body is reverberating with that idea but as I did not want to go further at this moment, so I disctracted myself. Since a few weeks I also try intensely not to identify with the personal me/ego any longer and just leave that space open and don`t identify with anything. Then the idea "I am nothingness and nothingness is life and life is all there is" swirled in my head. This triggered a prickling Feeling starting in my head and shivering down my spine combined with some goosebumps. The funny Thing is: This takes place all the time, several times every Minute. I don`t need to think about something special, just to be aware of the idea of just being life/nothingness is enough. Sometimes my whole body shivers, it feels like I am filled with sparkling water. Another thing is: Tears come very easily (which was really not the case before). Of course when I slip in some kind of compulsiveness this vanishes but as soon as I recall it, it starts again and does not stop. what also happened is that I feel more connected to all other things, animals and others. The way I looked at them changed. For example I talk to people which I won`t have started a conversation before. Its almost as if I can feel with them. Its also interesting that unknown people approach me and ask me something even if it is just something very trivial. It seems that I don`t automatically judge people any more and that I see that everybody does just what he or she is able to. They are the same life and you cannot blame anyone including yourself for anything at all. On another occasion I was at my parents home and just felt that it is just great to be there and enjoying it looking at everything very thankfully. (it felt so intensely which was never the case before) also I had almost no bad feelings since a few weeks, feel less stress (even I have so much to do that I don`t know how to handle it) I am also less tired and not Holding onto any Kind of beliefs (when Aware) I am noticing sublte changes. It seems like others view me also changed when I am in "conscious mode" = shivering mode. it seems as if I have 2 different states of being now. A more conscious one and the "normal" state I was used to. That state is mostly when it comes to my personal Likes and Dont-Likes. (for example Food) Maybe I am just hallucinating and the ongoing shivers are a result of that. ;-) that are a few things that I can report. I don`t want to label it as I am just in a "watching mode" and looking what is unfolding. Even as I write this, countless shivers occured as they did the whole day. best regards, Wendelin I never took any substances (besides alkohol) but what surprises and excites me about these reports like 5meo DMT is that the body itself seems to be able to produce these substances that can trigger these experiences of being infinite etc.. Like a built-in reward/incentive for synchronising oneself with existence. But that would certainly contradict the scientific evolution theory since that is nothing that supports survival in any way. So why is it already there if up to now only a few finally get there...? My answer: There must be an enormous intelligence present which can only be god.

@Whatev3r Be in that space, let yourself fall from the cliff into nothingness, embrace whatever comes up be that fear anxiety love. There is no next step, that is just the mind trying to figure things out.

Thats like what happened to me during this meditation. Let me explain my current understanding / experience. Every time i have a tought, i "jump" to the observing nothingness above it that is observing it (appearantly my self, at least thats my hypothesis ). Then next thought arises and i jump again. Calling it a jump, becaise it feels like i am zooming out and moving on. I provoke amazing visualisations and then again zoom out - as if instead of following the thought i go in the other direction, towards my center, from where the thought has arisen and so it dissolves allowing for another one to pop in. And then if i get lost in thought, i usually have a break thought that says - this is bullshit, or let go, or this will pass, but mostly let go and then I jump towards the awareness again. When i pay attention to my bodily sensations i also jump towards that which perceives them. It seems like the hypothesis that there is only one that perceives all those thoughts and sensations is correct for now, and also that this self doesn't really exist, because there is no limit to it. Aka, i can always jump higher / deeper and never reaching something concrete. Does this make sense?

thanks for your answers and your interesting comments on it. I knew that there must be some People that have the same sensations. Funny that there seems to be a German Community within this Forum :-) I will just go on sharing my main insight. (I didn`t read or hear this anywhere, so it is my "copryright" ;-) I consider the No-thingness or Life that I am like a non-physical unique channel of universal consciousness. So it is like a Radio channel (also the comparison is not 100% accurate, but just for sake of explaining) that is unbounded, unlimited and infinite. Body and mind are like a device which is able to receive this channel (of Life or nothingness) on a unique frequency (which displays your individual perspective). But of course the waves of this channel are everywhere, so when your body moves to another place, of Course your "Awareness-Radio" is still receiving because you (the Life or Nothingness-Channel) are just everywhere. When you travel with a radio device, the sound of your favorite Radio Station does not travel within the device, but the waves are receivable at the new place and even while driving (if they are receivable). So it is not consciousness slipping in one Body and moving along with it. It is the Body (made of earth) that moves within the infinite field of "radio" waves. Therefore you are aware and can use your individual sense perceptions through body and mind to experience illusions like all kinds of dualities, being a seperate Entity etc. etc. that is not a permanent prank that is played on you, it is the one and only possibility that you evolve. when you sleep, just the device is taking a break, the "Programme" is still there, but there is no Aware receiving. Before you were born your Programme was also there of course and in fact YOU built your device (body-mind) by yourself and within yourself as you are the channel called Life/God/No-Thingness. And Life wants to evolve and to get to know itself through all possible perspectives. Life/Nothingness waves are of course everywhere in Existence and flowing through all other life, "solid" material etc.. As you are that, you are connected to everything that is. So every individual plant, every animal, every other human being but also every "dead" material like a rock has it`s own frequency to receive the "Channel of Life/Nothingness/Everything/God/Energy (you Name it) And the physical is just a Play of 5 Elements (Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Space) "the cosmic Dance". Within all life forms, you are also present. So you are also responsible (Response-able) for them which is very much in line with Existense. as human beings we are able to "finetune" our device in a way that our awareness rises to the exact frequency of the Life-Channel and this is what enlightenment means. It is the highest possibility on earth. There are also short term peaks possible for example with Psychedellics (5Meo dmt). But be careful, it is a physical Body and damages of the System are possible. Most human beings are content with less than 1% of their potential of awareness. But the longing to be boundless, infinite is within everyone. That is why human beings are never happy with what they have or have reached. They want to mirror their own nature which is unlimited. But they simply don`t know how. They are even not Aware what is driving them. when your Body dies, your awareness has no device. So it naturally merges with the universal consciousness, but your being continues to exist of course. Near Death Experiences are the stages in between. your awareness Releases the Body and moves towards the universal consciousness, but as Long as there is the potential that your device will function again, you are in the Twilight Zone so to speak. And of Course there are other beings around. and the cool Thing is that you don`t have to communicate, you can just "download" what you like to know. (in fact really enlightened beings can do this while on earth). So if you like to know it is to be Lionel Messi, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, an alien or Darth Vader. No Problem just zoom in and download it. What will you create after being human, thats another big and exiting question. If you haven`t got out of your life what your Intention was, then you probably create another human being. You have to do an extra round, unawareness or compulsions moves in cycles. But if you passed your human-Kindergarten-test and mastered this level, then let`s go to another Galaxy or Universe and create a another device which is even more advanced and superior to human beings. I expect less suffering, but who knows what I will choose when I don`t know my options yet ;-))) so your Life is not some boring senseless Nothing as some of you seem to fear. Why should you suffer anything when you know your true nature. Forget about so called Fear and suffering, move at full throttle! Life is really cool guys!!!! As Sadhguru says. It is not about becoming super-human. It is about realizing being human is super. That is so true!! universal regards, Wendelin

@Bebop what the pointing exercise really helps you to understand is that you are nothingness. Pure awareness. The world comes out of you. The events coming out of the No Thing are manifested by you through intention, good or bad. The body is a projection of consciousness. Kind of hard to explain. Leo is right. Direct experience is the only way to self realize through self inquiry.

It makes sense for me if I understand the basic idea that out of nothingness comes everthing, (the Universe). There is really only Source. Source is the container (emptiness), that everything (the Universe) is contained in. Source could also be called consciousness. There is only one consciousness and you're it. Through conditioning you've been brought up to identify with your body and mind as the "you" that you think you are. Point to an object, any object in the background. Now point back to your face. Do you see a face? Of course not. You will see emptiness, the pure conscious awareness which is your true being. A better word would be nothingness. Nothing-ness. You are not a thing, but No Thing. Thoughts and perceptions come out of nothingness aka the void and become something when they go into you. If you think you are in a room....turn it around...the room is in you. Sit down and point to different parts of your body. Next point to your head. Nothingness is what you are pointing to. Its the best way to see your True Being (Brahman).

Hey! This is my first post here on the actualized.org forums. I stumbled across Leo's vids about a year and a half ago just after I had my first awakening experience. In the first video I watched of Leo's about enlightenment, I was amazed at how similar his description of one of his experiences was to mine and I've been watching his videos ever since (his description of the wave of mini insights building upon each other, leading to one huge OMG! - afterwhich, for me, was followed by an outpour of laughter haha). Since the initial discovery, I have had many profound experiences of my true nature and non-dual awareness. I continue to meditate and absorb consciousness/non-duality/spirituality related content every day. The section between the dotted lines is just to give an idea of some of the experiences I've had! Feel free to skip ....... - A peak experience on LSD approximately 6-7 months ago, experienced what I would have described as a complete non dual state, I felt like all my ideas and identity whatsoever had been completely shattered, my sense of being permeated out into complete emptiness all around me, the crown chakra above my head opened up and I had extremely bright blue light emanating from a region 6-12 inches above my head, I also had orange light emanating out from my whole body, literally felt like my body was going to slip away, almost like skin being shed. My normal sense of thought became so foreign towards the end of the trip that the idea struck me that I wouldn’t be able to adjust to normal reality again (which lead to a brief freak out that I was able to overcome haha) - About 3 weeks after this experience I went to a friends house who has an amazing view basically overlooking my entire city, I had 1 very large bong hit of marijuana and straight after this walked out towards the view (whilst he went inside briefly so I was by myself), once I approached the edge and looked out, it was as though reality itself hit me again and I slipped into pure awareness. The crown chakra, which I had experienced on LSD, completely opened up again and I had bright blue light pouring out from the space above my head, it literally felt as though my head completely opened up and touched the sky. It was remarkable. My whole body merged with space, and I could feel literally feel it all, like my body had become a beacon within space. I could feel and percieve energy rippling all around me. Bliss overcame me and the whole experience lasted about 5 minutes, was unreal. - More recently whilst meditating my entire body slipped into full orgasm for about 5-10 minutes (was not even aware that this was possible), it was as though the energy of existence itself was entering me through my head and exiting out of my pelvic regions. Literally flowing through me, like being fucked by the cosmos and in turn it's energy exiting out of me back into it. Another overwhelming and amazing experience. - It's actually interesting how this came about, i was being sucked down a mind pattern that was causing me tremendous fear and i was resisting it hard, and then i surrendered completely to it and didn't run anymore, and boom i felt my heart open right up and the rest followed... - during many of these experiences, i've experienced thought and the 'me' entity from such a distance it's been unreal, purely perceiving the words and ideas of it floating in space itself, it's crazy how unbelievably different thought itself can seem from the rest of reality (especially in relation to nature and the physical world) .......... My question is mainly related to the idea of liberation. For me in day to day experience, I am completely aware of how I 'don't have a head', this region is pure space connected with the outer, and thoughts happen in this space located above my body (open eyes meditation and really observing how there is no 'seer', only the seen and my space amongst it, has been my favored form of meditation). I'm not saying I don't get caught in the egoic state, I absolutely do haha, and I feel 100x more sensitive to it now. There's a huge difference when you're identified with the thoughts and they feed on the bodies emotions. In fact, in the last 6 months I have struggled way more with egoic issues and fears coming up and gripping me than ever before. I often get caught and attached into perceiving it all as a serious problem to be solved rather than a play to be enjoyed. However, every time I find myself in nature now, or dedicating time for meditation/stillness, I find I am always able to rest in my being and experience this space . Yesterday for example, just sitting silently with my eyes closed and feeling my body, the boundaries completely dissipated and I found my breath taken away and my being merged in space again. Now as with most people, I'm still struggling to integrate the seeing of this reality fully as a mind & emotional body. I find most days are just like a roller coaster in and out of identification with the mind, unconscious to conscious, slipping into egoic states where I very easily begin to become frustrated at going through the same garbage patterns (like oh fuck me.. not this shit again.. i thought i was done with this x1000), then all of a sudden switch to noticing literally everything changing within my space and it is 100% clear to me that I am the changeless/timeless under all the change again. Hence, going through this roller coaster all the time, at this part of the journey i can't help but be in the habit of every day going about my life just longing to return to the deeper meditation/stillness again so I can gain that clarity. There's also like this underlying motivation of 'if I just keep resting deeply in being I will keep clearing up the garbage egoic stuff i carry', and that seems to me like the only real goal or progress there can be. However it just feels like this has been going on so long now and isn't even really going anywhere anymore. It's frustrating because it is so, so clear that this awareness is what I am, and there truly is no progress to be made with it. It only feels as though i need to work towards liberation in a sense, simply dropping more and more of the minds attachments. Only it doesn't seem that's even happening a lot of the time, or at many times that the egoic states/reactions get even worse! It just feels like that roller coaster is going round and round and then I wind up in deeper clarity for certain periods of the day, in and out etc. In this sense it feels like part of my awakening is missing, but at the same time i know it's not and can't be. Whenever I hear teachers like adyashanti, mooji, osho, sadhguru ..or even Leo and Martin in the recent video describe what the state of liberation is like.. I feel that this is exactly what I'm after and what I'm missing, and I feel that at the same time I've had a taste of this freedom and living from this state many, many times. Literally there has been countless times over the past year, listening to adyashanti describe liberation where I genuinely feel so close to it or that I even have what he is talking about... Now finally to my point, specifically in regards to Leo - when I hear someone like Leo say that they still aren't liberated, and still have more dissolving to do, even after all his experiences of oneness and understanding he no doubt has, (even doing 5-Meo multiple times for god sake), it literally just makes me want to give up completely at even hoping my egoic attachments and states of mind will dissipate haha. It makes me feel as though.. every time I might feel I am close in a way to this liberation that I will only be deluding myself. I know the reality is that Leo is a completely separate being to me and I have truly no idea what he might be experiencing in comparison to me, and that I am my own individual being and there's nothing say that liberation is not possible for me or that i'm not close (like as in... I shouldn't make a a belief that it can't be done just because of where Leo says he's at) - but at the same time.. even just logically, if someone who has had such extreme experiences and understanding still has much dropping of the ego to do, and he still knows he isn't truly liberated, it just makes my situation feel hopeless again, and that this state of liberation that these guys and teachers like adyashanti talk about might not even be possible, regardless of the fact that the self has been crystal clear to me so, so many times. Like I've had states where, even just the other day for example when I went for a swim in the ocean, it was literally as though "holy shit, wow, i am literally just the pure empty substance of reality, the sky itself, with four limbs dangling down from nothingness, nothingness inhabiting a body experiencing and feeling the beauty of this water, expanding outwards in all directions across the ocean, the mind & emotions, whatever that means, just dancing inside of this" - then a day later i'm in pure anger or have some fear I'm going crazy or something like this hahaha. The shift between extremes, and polar opposite paradigms/perceptions of reality can drive me nuts sometimes I tell ya. The difference between such a paradigm and the egoic one just feels so huge, and these days when I get caught in the egoic states sometimes it can be really horrible, like I can get caught in deeply despising it in a way. I feel like I still hold the illusion that something great has to happen so that I will fully embody the self and be done with the ego... Which both does and does not seem to be the case when I know I can only be the self, and have experienced it many, many times. So again.. I just don't see what more can be done other than simply returning to nature/meditation, listening to teachers and forgetting all the garbage for as much time as possible. Sorry for the overload/rambling, but if anyone, or hopefully even Leo himself could shed more light on liberation that would be great. I'm feeling close to that "i completely give up" point that martin describes and just taking a huge fkn puff of 5-meo and ending this nonsense for good haha (but I probably won't due to fear ) Thanks!

Hello everybody, there is only Live and no Death. What we really are is Nothingness = pure Awareness = God but you can call that also Life. The only Thing that dies is our gathered body-mind-ego combination. But that is not what or who we really are. this is a good Explanation from Sadhguru:

I had this pretty cool insight recently that god is everything. So often, we tend to judge others as good or bad according to our own egoic needs and desires. The self agenda wants so badly to survive. But this self is a delusion and all ideas about how life should be is that too. But that is also part of the infinite consciousness of god and god is open to all possibilities even falsehood and deep delusion. From the perspective of god or nothingness, there is nothing wrong with anything. Reality is just being. And this nothingness is always present. You can never escape it. It is the truth that cannot be communicated or understood, yet it is always there looking at itself. It can only be experienced directly. I think this nothingness that god is has its own hidden agenda, which also can only be experienced. Because it contains every possible experience and perspective an infinite range of perspectives and therefore allows for infinite expansion. Every perspective and experience is a feature of god and it is always changing. It is never static. It wants to move and shift, destroy create, live and die.

??? Hmmm...so find ways to do so. Like write a book in 3rd person. Make it part of your journey in some way or the other. Infinite is not just non-duel/no-self/nothingness; it's also the paradox: infinite possibilities. This is not so that you'll become "rich" or "famous" or you will actually achieve something. This is just so that others and you will have peace or peace of mind - that's a start, and then they'll continue to improve and grow. Dissolve the fictional ego by "thinking" (being aware) of the opposite-paradox. Neutralize.

The new updated edition! 0.4a The mysterious nature of Awareness In order to understand the nature of Awareness we will examine it from two points of view, they are both legitimate in their own way. Each has a function, but each can also be misunderstood and confused for the other. So from this point on we will try to separate them and make a very clear distinction between the two. One purely subjective, and the other objective. 1. Abstracted Objective - actual factual material reality. The way science sees it while examining existence. Here logic, language and rationality function properly and describing nature using linear thought, which means lines of text or equations. A mostly conceptual construct that uses empirical and other methods of deduction to give the best possible explanation of what reality is actually, or rather the best guess. Information is found in exoteric form which is understood and clear to any reader that knows the use of language. An encyclopedia for example. --Example from this point of view: Now you are seeing a screen which is an object it has many words that have meaning. Combined they tell a whole story. A living human made of cells and minerals is sitting there holding a phone. There is an environment, a city, a country, an earth, a universe. There are Time and Space as we are able to understand them. So really we have a physical material, combined with abstract terms to signify aspects of it. We see a clear separation between ourselves and others. We think we start at birth and end at death. --It's function: It is a very useful dimension that allows navigation and setting schedule together. To measure and to build complex systems. --It's danger: It's really dictated upon circumstances in which place, culture, time we are born in, what our parents and other role models indoctrinated us with. The language, the way of thinking of the social circle we are in. So we might end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and have our innocent mind filled with garbage and delusion. 2. Sensual Subjective - personal mind-generated look from the inside. Personal individual experience. Pure sensual data before rational or logical interpretation. --Example of this point of view: Appears a picture comprised of some sort of data that's witnessed before thinking about it. It is a smear of lights and colors and it's undivided into objects, and this because we are looking through a prior lens, before knowledge allowed us to glue names and meanings onto it. The screen appears like this bright thing with black dots in rows. Even colors, light, and dark these are all words that are used to describe this phenomenal extraordinary experience. So really there are no words to describe what we see. It's reality experienced without knowing words, or meaning or any way to understand it intellectually. “Reality” by the way is also a word, which to many ancient and modern philosophers is still a mystery. So things aren’t as obvious as you might think in this subjective reality. Like a newborn sees it before it gets bamboozled by knowledge. A miraculous show appears before us. There are no such understandings as I or You or It. It's all combined into one wonderful blur. Time and space only exist as concepts here. So there is an eternal infinity and we are inseparable from it all. We have no beginnings or endings. Information on this prism of experience is found in esoteric form. (understood only through personal inward investigation and continuous questioning and skeptical observation) --It's function: It helps in uniting us, because we see no boundaries between ourselves and others, we seek to be together united as our primordial mind sees us, as part of the whole. We are all the universe and the universe is us, for all we know. We experience emotions and get a very clear intuition on what we ought to do, without hesitation. This mind is spontaneous, emotional and free of concepts. 3. The dynamics of living with both perspectives: It's important to make a very clear distinction between the two. Because if we confuse them, things may appear to contradict each other. Both are fundamental and important for our existence. And we can use both at the same time safely, only after we've understood that they are different. What if for example, I took the first objective as the only reality? It would lack the primordial intelligence and fun of the second natural and spontaneous side. On the other hand, if I mistakenly took the reality of the subjective mind and had thought I am reality and everyone, I might assume I am the son of god, or god almighty himself. I really live inside my reality and not some objective one, and the level of correct perspective on both really allows them to sync properly and function smoothly. So if I realize that the objective mind is just a useful tool and not my subjective reality I will be able to detach from it emotionally, and this in turn will allow the proper use of the gift of knowledge. Conventional understanding states that the objective, cancels out the illogical irrational subjective, and is superior to it. So it unfortunately denies it's primordial reality, which is really best integrated when accepted and realized by the self. It takes a good look to distinguish the two. And it is done by questioning the rational mind constantly, never believing that we’ve reached a “fact” about reality. Or that our beliefs are absolutely true. Knowledge is in fact comprised of many beliefs which are taken as basic assumption, which are, unfortunately, very rarely questioned. Knowledge is a useful tool, and not in any way “true” or absolutely real. 4. The best course of action: It's about integration of the basic ground, with the layer of knowledge upon it, in a gentle and correct way that holds them both significant. This new knowledge includes the original view, and it humbly directs us in a way that is allowing for us to see it's own abstract nature. Humble knowledge - Never stating that it's the only real thing, but simply a humble servant and a set of tools for humanity. 5. An Objective look upon Awareness Awareness is the field of your perceptions. Sight, hearing, sensations, taste, smell, thoughts and emotions flowing simultaneously, thus forming consciousness. It all creates a sense of existing, being here present, perceiving reality, and being this miraculous conscious creature. So perceptions are really all you got. They are in a sense, reality as you perceive it, your personal mind generated sense of existence. When you think about what's real you just tend to ignore this simple fact. You look outwards and say "Here it's really there outside! I can see it!" But it is in fact a picture formed by electrophysiological activity in your brain. So it's reality as interpreted by you, and not as it really is! Not to say that there isn't actually something outside your personal field of awareness, but simply, that what you perceive is an interpretation, and not at all the real material thing. Any technical information only helps the scientist to understand how your brain works, looking at it objectively. But it won't help your process of realization! We must look within and realize the abstract ethereal nature of knowledge. By looking at it closely and for very long we see it's true nature: A grand story. A miraculous illusion. 6. What can we do? To really complete this picture, we must find another layer beneath our grand knowledge of the physiological nature of the body. A layer we have long forgotten we had. A wisdom that requires no studying, but only a simple quiet observation, underneath labels, ideas and things. I want to take you deeper into the subjective experiential understanding. This will help you better navigate your own self created reality. Because only you can look for the answers there, in your own micro-universe of nerves. I invite you to explore your pure sensual experience without trying to explain anything. 7. Awareness Subjectively Everything you'd ever known or experienced was inside this field of awareness. And all the "things" you thought about and noticed “outside” were manifestations of your own internal awareness, like waves in the ocean of brain activity. Except your mind looked at each one individually and gave it its own name and description. So really awareness is everything you'd ever known, and it's true nature is undivided and consecutive. It's the whole field of “reality” as you experience it personally. Your own private cosmos of mind computed pure sensual data. 8. The nature of nothingness So can we find Awareness? I want to introduce you to a new way of exploring the nature of awareness. I will use a tool that will shed all the stories from the concept of “Individual experiencer” You or I that are separate from everything. We will try to find the experiencer of the experience by looking for the experiencer (You) inside your experience. Can we experience the experiencer? I guess not. Because anything experienced, will be an experience and not the experiencer by definition. So is the experiencer “Nothing”? If Everything really is the whole field known to us, then what is “Nothing”? Because anything that comes to mind will be “something” and therefore a part of the all encompassing Everything. So why are we talking about something we can't really grasp with our mind? The true Nothing I would like to show you, is not an idea of a boring empty "nothing," like a sort of gap between things, because you are aware of it, and once you are aware of anything it becomes an object of knowledge. By definition anything you know, can’t be nothing, because if it really was "nothing" you wouldn't had been able to put your finger on it. The real Nothing is really an unknown thing that is outside of imagination. Nonetheless it's truly a fantastic nothing. This emptiness is really the space that allows for everything to appear inside it. It's the non-color of a mirror that reflects all colors. The window through which we experience reality, thanks to its empty nature. ----------------------------------------------------- A little experiment: Try an experiment with me, Try to think of anything that isn't part of Everything. You couldn't, right? Because the moment you think about it becomes something. And another: Ok now look closely at you field of vision. Try to see past the outer boundaries of vision. What is there? if you don't think about it, but only try to look for it. You can't really see it, right? So that's the kind of nothing we are talking about. It isn't black and it feels even darker like a vacuum of sort. Imagine a dark room and a flashlight. The flashlight only shines outwards and can't shine on itself. That's like your conscious attention trying to find itself. 9. Knowing awareness In subjective reality there are no facts! Just pure experience. Awareness is not an object and not a thing at all, that is separate from another. “Objects” are the illusory separations made surgically by the operation of the focused attention, that can only notice one “object” at a time. The mind is helping us to navigate reality with these symbols, or rather ideas of things, places, people and ideologies. From a subjective personal perspective there is just an unspeakable experience and there are no “objects” in it whatsoever. In here even the word “Awareness” itself, means nothing. “Awareness” can’t possibly be an object of knowledge. In fact it’s the complete other way around: Knowledge is a manifestation inside of awareness. 10. What's my part in all this wiggly experience? You are really comprised of awareness, you are inseparable from it! In your own subjective reality as seen from your point of view, reality is you! Don't forget we are not talking objectively, we are looking from the inside out. Awareness is my reality, My experience is my only reality, Experience is a manifestation of awareness. I am experience! I am Awareness! I am subjective reality! 11. But isn't this written article really another story inside my awareness? Maybe so, but it tries to point to somewhere ungraspable, to the mystery of the unspeakable Awareness. The mystery of I.

@Bizarre are you saying that we are awareness? Isn't that the same as saying nothingness or non-conceptual?

The jury is not out on who you are . It's been well revealed for thousands of years. You just don't know because your teachers don't know because their teachers didn't know either. That's why nobody can tell you what you are. They just say it's "nothingness" or non conceptual. These are not answers.

Nothingness can not be experienced. 'Nothing' is not an experience. In the same way we can't imagine to be unconscious. So saying 'God' is nothingness doesn't really make sense. I guess what people mean when they say nothingness is 'pure awareness'. Like empty imagination...no thoughts, no experience even, but this recursion that is awareness?

I just wanted to say that the keyword is to accept. Feel that word. Accept. Acceptance. Accept whatever comes up. You can feel miserable for whatever reasons. You might have taken LSD and feel horrible scared/angry/sad because of what you experience. Fully accept that. It's perfectly okay to feel bad/horrible/sad/fear. Allow yourself to accept whatever comes up. Accept everything. In the end of the day, all we can do is to accept the present moment. Yes, sure in the loooooong term, we can change the direction of our lives. But in the short term, you have to accept the current reality you experience. Accept all of it. If you feel sad/fearful/depressed ... sure, you can try to resist it and internally fight it with the "I don't want to feel this way, why am I feeling this, I want this to go away"-mechanism. In the end this doesn't help at all, this is just a denial of pure reality. And denying what _is_ only leads to more suffering. Instead accept the state you are in. Accept the fear. Accept that you feel depressed. It's perfectly okay. You can't change the present moment. The present moment just is. Accept it, no matter if it's pure bliss or extreme hell - accept it fully. Only when you accept it fully -- surrender fully to it -- you can actually begin to live in the present moment without denying it - thus you become closer to true existence without filters, without beliefs of 'how it should be'. Reality shouldn't be in any way. It should be exactly as it is. Exactly as it is experienced. Take LSD and become fucking frightened of what you see. Become extremely anxious of what a fucking douchebag you are. Of what a fucking closed, selfish person you are. And don't resist it. Accept it. That's how it is. Only when you accept the current state of your 'being', only then, you can begin to live freely and change truthfully. If you don't accept, but deny and resist and fight, you will keep denying, resisting and fighting for eternity, and not getting any further. So stop! And surrender to reality. Accept. Accept. Accept - whatever comes up - accept it. Accept the state you are in - and you will begin to flow in a stream of love down a waterfall into pure being. What does accept mean? Well, only you know. I think it means to fully embrace the present moment with love. What is love? It can't be explained. It's a property of God/nothingness/the absolute/infinte infinity/pure unlimited consciousness/your deep-down True Existential Nature -- allow it to come forward. Even if you somehow feel it's not appropriate right now. That you think it's not appropriate right now, is just you playing a game with yourself. You may feel extremely lonely. You may feel extreme fear because you feel like you're losing what you hold must dear: your sense/construction of self. Look. It's perfectly okay to feel lonely. It's perfectly okay to feel extreme fear because you are dying. Accept the feelings of loneliness and fear. Embrace them when they come up. It's perfectly okay to accept all feelings, because all feelings are ultimately arbitrary and have no meaning, no value. The only 'meaningful' thing to actually value is the ability to accept the present moment. If you value that ability -- because trust me, you DO have the ability to fully accept your current state, you just trick yourself into believing that you somehow don't (and that you instead need X or Y in your life to feel fulfilled/happy - look, you truly don't, it sure seems like you need X, but trust me, you need nothing (literally)...all you "need" is acceptance of whatever is) -- then you will be completely free; like a bird flying over the ocean on a clear sky day.

Sooo, I did it again. First off, I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this next post. Some guys contacted me personally or commented in other threads why I haven't posted another trip report yet. The simple reason is: I was ill for a week (these fucked-up winter colds) and needed another 2 weeks to get to the level where I could say "Okay, I'm ready to go into outer space again". So yeah, I hope and intend to post more frequently in the future. So if you like these posts, like 'em and post comments so that I know. The first one went off like a fucking virus. I liked that a lot. If you haven't read it, read it first so that you're up to date with what I'm doing. You can read it here. +++ Lessons Learned From The Initial Dosages +++ Well, as you know I don't just wanna fuck with my head but take a more scientific and curious approach to this whole experiment. And this means that I had to learn my lessons from the first dosages. They were extraordinary experiences that began to permanently alter my journey (I'll write about this in the end of this post) but the way I conducted them could still be improved. The first thing I changed was that I got myself a very high-tech jewelery scale that you can calibrate to 0.001g. For my initial dosages I used the scale I bought last year for my first n,n-DMT experiences. This is a standard scale you get in your local headshop, good for weed and enough for normal DMT but not for MeO, no. With regular n,n-DMT it doesn't really matter if you take 50 or 55mg because once you hit that point you are just off and if you took 5mg more then that it just wasted. With MeO I found out very soon that 5mg can make the difference from being very high to psychological death and complete dissolving into nothingness. And that's something you don't wanna leave at chance. Not at all. The second thing I changed was my tripping location. With the initial dosages I laid on my bed what I mostly do when I pop psychedelics. I'm a very beddy person. I love to sleep and just chill in my bed watching series or documentaries. I could do that for a living (if I had no life). This is all great, because you can really open up your body and relax. However, last time with the semi-breakthrough dosage I thought I gotta vomit and at the same time thought I die and lose my breath (so I might go unconscious). This brought up the fear that I will go unconscious, vomit in my fucking face and kill myself by being stupid. Can't happen. And lying on the side takes away the opening of the body that is in my experiences the most crucial thing there is when it comes to surrendering into it. So I left the bed behind and took the couch. There, I could completely open myself, vomit if I have to and go unconscious without choking myself to death. Maybe you laugh, but this made all the difference in the experience I'm about to tell you in a few moments. And finally another big improvement was Kola Nut. Leo brought this up when we discussed a few days ago how MeO changes your physiology permanently. I talk about this later in this post. Basically, Kola Nut is natural way to get you really excited and pumped, if you have ever done cocaine you know what I'm talking about. If you're more of a reasonable person, think of a time you did something very well (like giving a good speech) and after it a group of people congratulated and looked up to you. That's how you feel on Kola Nut. Just pretty ambitious, inspired, here and ready to go. I researched it a little bit and found that others had used it before with 5-MeO-DMT and reported great experiences plus it seemed to be widely known, well studied and easy to get. So I got myself 100g of Kola Nut powder straight from amazon.com and it arrived today (with the jewelery scale). The post man came right when I was meditating and the bell ringing scared the shit outta me. You bastard! +++ The Trip: Being Aware Of Ones Holographic Nature +++ So, how did go down. Let's go a few hours back in time. As always when I pop psychedelics I did all the things I had to do on this day so that I had the time and a free mind. Never, ever have something important to do after you do psychedelics. This will stress and ruin the experience. In beforehand, I took 2 grams of the Kola Nut in the morning so that I knew how it effects me. Around 4 p.m. I wanted to do the tripping. The Kola Nut I had taken before was still showing effects so I decided to just take a little bit to get another peak when the MeO comes in so that both can work together. I gotta say, I was pretty nervous. The last trip I did was more then a month ago and although it was transforming and great, it was very scary as well. So I laid down on the couch, went inside and asked myself whether I really wanna do this again. And every bit of my intuition even my fears were into it. I still stopped for a moment. My hands were cold, my pulse were up and I just waited a few moments. Then I got up, weighted half of a gram of Kola Nut on my new high-tec scale, downed it with a little bit of water and juice and weighted 22mg of the God molecule. I turned on my standard tripping music, made two lines and waited for another few moments. I asked myself again whether I really wanted to do this. I did. So I sniffed the gold up my nostrils, went to my couch and sat down, tilted my head upside down and massaged the MeO into my nostrils. Funnily, right when I sat down all the fear and tension began to vanish. I thought this was strange, with my prior experiences it was really the opposite in the beginning. After a good 2-3 minutes the MeO was well-distributed in my nose and I sat up normally. I opened my legs and my arms. I also just looked in front of me and began to repeat the mantra "I love you, I give in, I surrender". I expected the existential terror to start every moment and blast me away but it simply didn't. The exact opposite happened. As the trip came on, the first thing I noticed was that I began to lose weight. Like somebody is turning the gravity to zero. With that my view became crystal clear and all edges went away. Kinda like your whole view is one object and not containing a bunch of objects. Then the body got lighter and lighter, the breathing slowed down but in a very harmonic and calming way and the pulse didn't go through the top. It was a little bit higher then normal, but not too heavy. With that the what I call "physiological purification" started. As my body got lighter and lighter, it felt like every cell was cleaned and massaged with the deepest love. Every tension just vanished. As this unfolded I closed my eyes and delved in this love. It took more and more tensions and it felt like with every tension that goes my nature expands, because the tension was centralizing it in beforehand. In this moment I became aware of our holographic nature. With the vanishing of the tensions I began to lose every reference of the normal world. I began to lose sight in a way, I didn't see darkness but also didn't see any visuals. I was before all that. As every reference of the normal world went away, time went too so that it got slower and slower until it was eternal. The only reference of time that there was was the flow of tension that appeared and vanished every few moments: I saw clearly that my whole perception of my body was like a holographic image, that popped up and went away. The deeper I went into it, the slower it got and the more I could see this. I could see that my whole sense of self is based on the illusion that I can feel my inner tension consistently. That this is my only reference of being separate. When this vanished and just popped up here and there, I was everything and nothing. It was nothing special but also extremely astonishing. Seeing how my existence manifests slowed down so much that I could see how it works. It's like you zoom out of your normal perspective and see that the picture you are seeing all of the time was just a tiny pixel on a ever-changing surface. Throughout this whole experience I felt the deepest kind of love, peace and surrender that I can think of. Even when I came back half an hour later and the tensions came back to a degree, I saw that this is okay and that it needs time to permanently let this go. What was also incredible is, that after the peak - like after 15-20 minutes - as I opened my eyes and was still tripping all kind of memories popped into my head that were connected to my tensions. All the fears that I had in my life, all my limited beliefs, all that just came on and I looked at it with this deep spaciousness and peace and just let it play its game. Breath-taking. Then I came back and felt like my whole body was completely massaged and my brain was given peace. Very nice, I still have a lot of that in me. It gives you perspective and that perspective alone is curative. +++ Beyond The Experience: How 5-MeO-DMT Changes your Daily Life +++ So, that was my trip. Really great. I'm looking forward to do the same with 30mg in 2 weeks again and see how it is to leave every reference behind and completely delve in this love. But with all these experiences comes the question: "Is it just a 30 minutes kind of crazy thing that happened, or is there more to it?" In the first month after my initial dosages I looked into that. What started to happen in the first week after the trips was that I became very aware of the tensions in my body, especially in my forehead and abdomen. They just really lit up for a few days and then began to vanish. They vanished to a degree that I would say the state I was in before the experiences was like a light headache that then vanished. Not that I was aware of that light headache, it was my normal state and it resulted in a lot of fast thoughts, lots of fast feelings and a very shallow attention in retrospect of what I'm experiencing now. And be aware, even before my first trips I had done more then 1,5 of daily 60-minute meditation (mostly strong determination sittings), I had numerous no-self experiences, 3-4 very deep awakenings this year and a Kundalini awakening this July. And I still say that my state was like heaving a light headache. So after the tensions began to vanish (and they didn't completely but to a good extent) I would begin to act slower and more in a kind of rhythmic flow. It's like I'm dancing when I go or do things. I think slower, deeper and in more color and with clearer voice. I have most of the time very deep and transforming meditations. I still am afraid sometimes, I still have bad days, I still do stupid shit, but I see how this just arises and that there is no me pushing it. I sometimes see that. Other times I get so lost that I'm not aware of this but even then, this is okay. Because that's how it is. I am way more chilled. I can listen to somebody and not have thoughts but just listen. And the other one feels that and opens up like a flower. When I talk I naturally begin to make pauses and play with the rhythm of my voice. I'm naturally more confident with my body and how I look and go about my business. I'm more attractive independent of how I look. I begin to get into deeper contact my unconscious. I am aware of sleeping, that was really crazy in the beginning. I am aware that when I lose my conscious attention that for the first few hours thoughts still come up that trigger feelings, that then after a while I go into a deep and very vivid dream, that then I completely blur out and become nothing and that I then return to a dream or unconscious thinking state. This all began to develop in this first month. And I can see how this is just the beginning of things. So yeah, basically I can say that MeO does its thing. When used with a natural interest in getting to know your real self and integrating your make-belief self, it really seems to push you a lot deeper with that. It takes the neurosis out of your seeking, gives you peace and a lot of toys you can play around with that just come up when your awareness expands. Because you begin to see the whole picture and not just your narrowed version of it. That's my take on it anyway. I hope you liked the post and that it inspired you. If it did, like it and comment so that we can have a talk about it and I see that I should post more of these experiences. If I'm not fucked with another winter cold in the next time, I would say that I trip again in two weeks and hopefully find the time to write it all down and let you guys know. This stuff is really interesting. Anyways, keep up your genuine interest, develop yourself and get intimate with all of reality. You are every bit of it and that is the most shocking and cool thing you can ever find out. Cheers, - Azrael

@NTOgen You see, I just think that there is no such thing as infinity and there are no paradoxes, there is no highest truth. I think enlightenment is a finite state. If there are two enlightened people in the room, do they share one infinite nothingness awareness or is each of them one? Obviously they are not merged, they can't tell the thoughts each one is having. If all is one and one consciousness created the world literally, enlightened being should have another deeper level where he is truly omniscient, than another where he is omnipresent, than omnipotence... As it goes, does this make sense? P.S. I, yep I, like to be a benevolent force in the world. Hahahaha.

@Leo Gura I would think logically that Infinite could not be navigated in any way as our mindful focus is finite even in enlightenment. If it's okay with your plans, please disclose an example of something deep you've found apart from enlightenment. @NTOgen I've reread everything. I want to tell you something, so so want :)) I think you take what we are doing here too lightly at least sometimes. What we do here is precious, you are precious for doing it. People like Rali would tell that this is not that serious, man is not better for it and it just makes life nicer so we do it. I humbly disagree, human animal outlived the need for ego and getting rid of obsolete components is just next step up in evolution of complexity in the universe. I strongly believe that it is formally provable that if we as a people become enlightened, world would become a much better place. I think it's crap saying we are infinity in the nothingness etc. I think no enlightened man would be able to see what a 10-dimensional life form could be if there is two types of time and logic is something else than in our universe. So it's a step up, but there are further steps out there =) I'm rambling like an old fool here ,sorry) Be confident, know that your journey is precious and meaningful and act out of that place at least sometimes at first. I've just cooked up an idea - if all the people would become enlightened at some point, of course 7kkk teachers would be useless, at that point we would start looking outwards for what could be the next step. Currently, enlightened people are so rare, they give all their time to teach others or, khekhek to fishing khekhek, when there is still nano robots technology not invented, computers not integrated with the neurons via direct electronic circuitry, cancer, alzheimer's, strokes are not cured, cows are grown to be slaughtered by 20kkk each year etc. @GTITurbolover@Lynnel Please, I would also like to have some link or comment from you on superposition issue and the same for the Four Human Pursuits Teaching, because googling gives some nonsense. .