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I don't see it as a thing anyone needs to succeed in. Enlightenment is meaningless, pointless. Nothing matters. My nature is very inclined to seek for Truth. I've been interested in math, physics and chemistry since I was a boy. Naturally I want to go the whole way. I have many friends who don't give a damn fuck about Truth and Enlightenment. It's fine, I take on another personality when I with them and enjoy their company and life. No problem. I don't try to force them to anything. They should do whatever they want to do. Some suffering is fine. Ultimately there's nothing wrong with suffering. MOst of the time there will be happiness in-between to contrast it anyway. "why do you want it to be love and enjoyable?" You see, I just told you, that you have to kill "yourself" to become enlightened. Has that anything to do with what you label as "enjoyable"? . "think about this guys. what would happen if enlightenment doesnt give you this endless bliss? what if?" I couldn't care less, mate. I couldn't care less about enlightenment to be honest. All I want is Truth, WHATEVER THAT MIGHT BE! I don't know what it is. I only have ideas... And I try to be conscious enough to not attach to any of my ideas, which is hard, but doable. The mind constantly produces thoughts, ideas and emotions. That is its fucking nature. Have a good day.

so i am inclined to say that you have a very flawed perception of this. you truly see this is another thing which one need to succeed in. think about this guys. what would happen if enlightenment doesnt give you this endless bliss? what if? why do you want it to be love and enjoyable?

it is what reality is you say. ok so reality is love. it seems as a long shot that some feeling we prefer is reality. and you could say one deny the world which is right now. everything is enlightened. enlightenment is not this endless bliss,and this is where everybody starts to fool themself and misses enlightenment, enlightenment is this, enlightenment is not a rush of signals in the brain. every state is . the next state is the next state, be in this state

@Leo Gura One of my favourite questions or mantras is something along the lines of, am I an object or the observer, and I realised after reading your post and contemplating that I've been inadvertently asking am I one object or another object because I assumed the observer was a "greater" me, another object. After that I found bliss quite quickly which wasn't the no-self I was looking for, but finding that so quickly was progress anyway.

As real as everything else. Let him do drugs if he wants to. but i do agree with you at the normal level of communication. enlightenment is not even about bliss and agony or some other world. it is what you have right now.

I've had quite a few interesting experiences over the last few months but the one that stands out the most was when I accidentally ate a brownie with thc in it and found out my true nature as awareness haha. I woke up one morning and I was getting ready for work and I was listening to a song, can't remember the name but part of the lyrics stood out for me "you already know who you are,but you've just forgotten" or something to that extent. I didn't think much of it but when I went upstairs I noticed someone had made some brownies so I ate a reasonable amount (couldn't help myself haha) then I went back downstairs and the song was still playing and it hit me hard that there was a deeper meaning to the lyrics. Then I glanced at the clock and noticed I was running late to work so I hurried out, as I was driving I noticed that I was feeling a little weird and couldn't focus properly but I figured I was just still a little tired. Finally made it to work and as I tried to focus I couldn't function properly, everything just started going blurry and I felt really dizzy. Told the supervisor that I wasn't feeling well and he sent my to the ER. As I was sitting there waiting for the nurse, I was wondering what the hell was going on. Then I remembered the song from before and I started asking "Who am I?". It was as if a part of me stepped back from behind my eyes and it was clear what was really going on. At that moment it became apparent that there was nothing behind the walls I was looking at and I was just experiencing existence through the perspective of a human being. The nurse finally comes in and is asking me questions and I realized that I was just talking to myself, there was no person in that body, only another character playing her part. I tried to explain that to her and she looked at me like I was crazy haha, was kinda hoping she knew what I was talking about but I guess most people still don't know about these ideas. Felt a little depressed because I was all alone sitting in a hospital room with no one that could understand what I was going through, I thought I had finally lost my mind. Then a wave of bliss hit me, it just surrounded me with love that I've never felt before. I broke down and started crying out of pure joy, I had no idea such powerful feelings of love were possible. At the time I became very derealized after the experience though, I felt trapped in an illusion thinking it was all real. It took hundreds of hours of contemplation to finally get a grasp of reality again. Looking back it was a huge part of my growth though, it helped me get through some rough times and taught me not to take life seriously

This one was before I found actualized.org: I was thinking about infinity and mindfucked myself by independently realizing the notion of absolute infinity (never suspected it would have relevance to spiritual work). It happened in tandem with me contemplating the nature between the relationship between the physical and conceptual world, realizing that concepts aren't inherently less real than physical objects coupled with grasping that absolute infinity was entirely beyond my grasp sent me into a pseudo-psychotic episode. Prior to that, I was a hermit who had too much anxiety to leave my dorm. I had been searching for Absolute Truth through mathematics, science, and philosophy. That day, I ran off of campus to a nearby museum and walk around the whole place backwards, gathering strange looks from people as I realized all the majesty and grandeur I saw in the world was a fucking joke compared to the true depth of reality, which was beyond my grasp. I used to be obsessed with the transhumanist movement and the notion of man one day conquering reality through science. That day I realized it was all futile. Reality is too great for mankind to do anything other than to stand in awe of its depth. This is what ultimately drove me to learn about enlightenment. When contemplating free will and identity: This was the day I realized the notion of free will didn't really even make sense because identity was an arbitrary construct. I thought who could possibly do the willing. Oh shit! Before then , I used to dream about total omnipotence and control being the best possible life. It was then that I realized the idea of true control was absurd, and my whole drive to control everything in life was delusion and neurotic. Being is all there is. Some non-dual (?) experiences: I have been experiencing altered states on consciousness in my dreams. I', not sure if I've ever experienced non-duality since I have never experienced bliss from my consciousness work, but I have had some strange experiences where I felt that my body and mind were just objects and phenomena like any other, no more special than anything else in the environment. For instance, I had a dream where I was Slenderman (don't ask me why) and I was staring at an oak tree, and that oak tree was also me while I was Slenderman. This all took place in a classroom which started to crumble. Both Slenderman and the oak tree also vanished, and I was this mind that got physically sucked into a deep, pitch black void. I had a brief moment which seemed like eternity of monkey mind going on a complete void until I surrender and accepting my eternity as empty. I then woke up (physically, not spiritually). I don't know why this stuff never happens when I'm awake. How it has changed me: My intuition tells me this goes way deeper and despite not feeling bliss, I need to keep going. I have massively reduced the suffering in my life. However, I also have the lingering feeling that this is bullshit I need to be out chasing pleasure.

@Leo Gura Dear Leo, The experience I have Leo, after hard work living in seclusion from unwholesome deeds, given up sense gratification has led to the experience of pure bliss, happiness and a state of trance of no other similar kind, unknown to the masses. I see not a single effort in experiencing what I am. The effort Leo lies not in experiencing what you are, but getting rid of the defilements, the obstacles, the attachments that prevent one to be free of mind. Given up unwholesome deeds, namely: wrong view, intentions, speech, act, effort, livelihood, attention and concentration, sustaining a sublime discipline and strong concentration and attention on the all pervasive, surely leads to the end of desire soon, or later. Awareness knows not an equal and is all pervasive, has not been born, knows no illness or origin, there for the question WHAT is Awareness presuming its a composite of some kind, is based on a wrong idea of yours Leo. Its based on the idea that the essence of everything (or yourself) is nothing, and by this, one concludes wrongly that Awareness is being something (everything is a composite, and since its not nothing it must there for be something) now logically leads to the question: WHAT is Awareness? (Presuming its a composite of some kind, which it of course isn't, never was and never will be).

Very very interesting passage you wrote here. I noticed something that I want to share according to what you wrote here. Take a look at these two "religions." Christianity: Heaven, Earth, Hell Buddhism: To Enjoy, To Love, To Suffer Like I said in my post here, when you awake from an enlightenment experience, you are left with a 'feeling' (huge residue of) 'divine love' and 'bliss.' This relates to peace, not suffering. If the person wants to head toward peace (in an infinite way), then do things in one's life that will bring about peace in this world. After all, all is you.

Thought I might add but I realise just saying that everything is a belief is not really going to help anybody, you could tell a homeless person on the street the situation of their life is just a belief, a construct of ego, and that they're not really experiencing this but are God, infinity itself while deluding themselves into suffering because they believe the ego is them, but what is that going to change? Do not think because you are ego that you are suffering and for you to be happy at all you need to destroy ego, truth isn't about the destruction of your life or beliefs or a withering away of your sense of self to find bliss in infinity, it's the simple recognition of what is true, and that includes everything in existence, you are complete because you are here, as you are right now, and only you think you need to improve or change or "realise the truth of reality to dissolve into eternal awareness and live a no-self life full of clarity" but regardless we will continue to strive for something else because that is the nature of identity, and that too is okay @Leo Gura Just want to say you must have one hell of a mind to stay in such delusion while mainting your business, props to you my friend.

@Deep That's interesting because one time I purposely surrendered within a state of Samadhi just to see what would happen and I vanished for a while. Of course I didn't realize I had vanished until I returned to the Samadhi state (sorry, I don't know all the exact lingo but you get the message). 2 days ago I left a reply on another topic that stated "At the heart of Samadhi lies nothingness". That experience, or should I say non-experience, is what I was referring to when I said nothingness. There was no awareness of anything because I didn't exist (no mind/thoughts). There was no experience, no bliss, no infinity, no God, no awareness, no emptiness, no nothing. After that happened I wondered if there was a level of awareness that enlightened people have achieved that could experience that state of absolute nothingness. So I'm asking, what do you see here that I may not. What are your thoughts or better yet, direct experiences on this? You seem to have knowledge in this area. Thanks

@Leo Gura Awesome pic Leo. Now, pls don't interpret what I'm about to say the wrong way. I'm only saying it according to my experience, ok? (It's not a debate.) It's riding the ox backwards into one's body from nothingness, maybe not with M.C. Escher's drawing of lizards. Below..just another pic, just another hint. Then, one is left with a huge residue of 'divine love' / 'bliss' when awaken.

It will seems silly and very stupid but, I'm playing a game right now, it is like a Zelda game, but with lots of enigma (it is called Ittle Dew). There is a secret dungeon, with the most difficult puzzle in the game. Everytime that I don't know how to do the puzzle, I try many different tricks, If I can't find it within 30 minutes, I let it down, and begin again tomorrow. EVERY TIME I start the game again, I almost instantanously know how to solve the puzzle, or new stages of it. I'll not get into the detail, but, it is how your mind work, everytime you find an obstacle that you don't know how to face, if you give it enough time, you'll ALWAYS find the solution, always, guaranteed, just don't give up ! Fiix a timeframe where you brainstorm about your life purpose, let's say 1 hour every night and 2 when it is your day off. Stick to that, try lots of differents stuff: - Try new hobbies. - Do some values assesments. - Go to conferences (about any field). - Search the web at random subjects and jobs . - Go to some jobs helping center (don't know the expression in english ^^). If you see that you have some motivation issues, find some motivation video on youtube. If you have to, watch one everytime before you schedule, don't be afraid to seems silly in front of you wives/kids, you're doing something that will change your life for god sake ! Now, notes everything you like about these things, and after, I don't know, 3 months, read the list and try to concentrate all the points into 5. There you goes, you just have to seach jobs alongside those qualities and values of yours. It is a matter of time and time only, everyone have a purpose, but few have the motivation and will to find it, mostly because of limiting beliefs, negative social circle/relationship, and simply because they don't know it is a real thing ... The life purpose course of Leo is very very good, the price is silly for what you will get from it. What is 250$ against a life of bliss and fulfillement ? I mean, it's just 3 paycheck if you're on a minimum wage ... There isn't a purpose in the sense that everything that you do will get crushed at some point. In 5000 years, no one will remember you, even if you were a world class genius. Even in we find a way to travel into space and colonized an another earth-like planet, the galaxies and the universe itself will crumble. So even if you were the one guy who saved your race from extinction, it wouldn't matter anyway ... Now, what is a life purpose then ? Simply a task that you love to do, for the sake of doing it. I'm talking about a task that you love so much that you would pay for doing it, that you can do and don't even see time passing (like 8 hours in a row), you also think about it all the time. It really feels like your soul is attracted, you feel an energy inside you, that is so enormous, so vibrant, that you'refeeling the divine inside you, That's called life, live your fucking life !

[11th Dec. 2016] All I can say is; today was a great day. I haven't felt like this in years. I've changed the way I interact with people and it's resulted in me experiencing a lot more positive feelings. To go from emotional neglect to being happy again was bliss. I did in fact do a little experiment to see how my mindset changed things. After spending most my morning with other people and feeling energised from treating myself level with others, I decided to switch my mindset temporarily back to feeling inferior and I started a conversation from that perspective. I noticed how this meant the other person ended up mocking me more and would disregard my personal space and ultimately be more disrespectful. I felt all my energy being drained and that enthusiasm I couldnt hold back before kinda just burnt out. It's interesting who the real energy drainers are. I did this experiment with a few people and some didn't change their behaviour and treated me ok while some saw it as a vulnerability they could predate on. Besides the energy drainers, I also found there were some that really clicked with me which didn't happe before. I held the longest and most exciting conversation with this one person where we were both really engaged and found it hard to bring it to a close - as we were having such a laugh. Honestly, I can say I no longer feel like a loser deep down and this has really shifted my confidence. I went to a wedding with the same mindset and received much more positive vibes. Usually I'd be eating shit on a Sunday but I made myself some nice salads with French or Caesar dressing with a whole bunch of other healthy meals and I just can't help but relish how good it feels on a profound level. Like if I ate my lamb doner kebab or something sure it would taste great for those few moments of eating - but that pleasure is fleetIng. You get left feeling bloated, lazy and still feeling unsatisfied. Eat healthy 90% of the time, eat whatever the fuck you want for the 10%. Simple. I've been watching the SAS: who dares wins series on channel 4 and it's making me realise a lot more strongly how you only realise who the real you is through hardships and challenges. I feel like I'm not challenging myself to the point of breaking (not literally) and it means I can't develop as much as I want. I need to take up challenges like swimming x laps of the pool or burn x calories at the gym or spend x hours focused on schoolwork. Mentally and physically I can push harder - I know I can. Also, the apprentice is going great. I really liked the recent episode on creating and marketing a Gin. Or Giin should I say. Habits: Slept late but I woke up at 8:30 which is early on a Sunday. Its 1:14am as I write this so sleep time is definitely in the red. Water was pretty good, I drank regularly but I didn't track it just kinda went with how it felt. I estimate about 2.5l or slightly more is how much I drank. Granted its less less than yesterday but my bottles broken so I had to make due with smaller bottles and glasses of water. Exercise, I am going swimming tomorrow but actually I almost feel like going gym as well after watching SAS. We'll see ? Pre out. ?

my mind doesn`t know yet if that is stable or not but I am pretty sure. Since a few days I don`t care any longer whats Happening on the so called outside because I know that this is also me but just a mere reflection. I feel bliss and happiness no matter what appears as an experience and there is no negative emotion. enlightenment or Realisation is just one of These experiences that pass through me. I don`t care about those as well as Long as I am so blissful and excited. Forget about enlightenment ;-)

@CreativeInertia I get rid of values every day. Try it. Sit still in silence and watch how your mind comes up with an ideal. Watch the pain that comes with it, the duality between your ideal and the situation that triggered it. Then understand that the reason you are in pain is because you have an idea that is in conflict with reality. That is your conditioning because you wore this pattern in over a long period of time it became "normal" and that is what you mistake yourself for. Once you release the ideal you feel the bliss of who you are. The ideal will come back, keep working on it and you will eventually condition yourself to stay "in the heart" (your mind will turn around and rest in its source).. If you can create a conditioning for self inquiry and decondition yourself to uphold stupid values that do nothing but delude you, you will become free of all your conditioning. Thats purification process. As long as youre extroverting your mind and doing "self development" you are conditioning your mind to extrovert. You will never become self realized doing this. At the moment you are theorizing and idealizing about enlightenment. Do the actual work, because the more you theorize the ore you will end up deluded by these ideals and the suffering will not cease. When you have done that you will see for yourself what is real, and you will understand what im saying.

You got to understand that most these ideals are born of ignorance based on egoic differentiations and are nothing to do with reality. Reality is nondualistic, a bank robber is the same as an enlightened mahatma. Have goals by all means, do what you are blessed to do, but leos ideas are not based on functional ability, they are based on developing character traits that only exist in the egoic mind and are not actually real. Thats why they are absurd, because they are the ego romanticizing enlightenment. A real mahatma would laugh at this because its delusion. Suffering is not an illusion, its self inflicted because of the ego. But the suffering does not come from not being perfect, it comes from the ego trying to BE perfect, and making differentiations that are not actually there. Empathy is a delusion, sorry but it is. Adults understand that people live and die, why would a mahatma leave his bliss to get upset about things he has no control over. Ideals of compassion and emotional empathy are delusions based on chopping reality up into bits and trying to control reality. This is not enlightenment, its boo hoo bullshit of the "grown up" inner child who is conditioned to believe in compassion and empathy.

Leo, I am still addicted to the highs I get from conditional samsara happiness. Will spiritual bliss gradually overshadow this as I go deeper? Can I consistently feel better than I do during my craziest non-spiritual highs?

If a pathetic is at peace, that peace is a dead peace, it has no life in it. That silence is the silence of a cemetery, of the graveyard. No bliss in it.

What is the bliss point? It's the specific amount of satisfaction or stimulation, in which happiness is optimized - the perfect volume of magic fairy dust, that makes you content and happy. Any more, or slightly less will tip you off balance and isn’t as great anymore. Michael Moss used the concept in his book Salt, Sugar and Fat to show how the food corporations have tricked their consumers into getting addicted to their products via bliss point manipulation. This bliss point doesn’t apply only to food, it can be found in almost anything else as well – clothing, relationships, sex, entertainment, fast cars, money, fancy houses etc. There’s nothing wrong with having a high bliss point, it’s just that it can become our downfall. If we aren’t able to be content, then we will never be truly happy either. On the other hand, if your bliss point is lower, then you’ll get incredible joy from even the smallest of things. Paradoxically, your happiness increases, as your bliss point decreases. Here are 4 strategies I use to hack my bliss point and optimize happiness effortlessly. Fasting Gratitude Mindfulness Minimalism You can also check out the video about it where I also reveal a fifth strategy. Thanks!

How long ago was your last acid trip that you described? I've had a similar experience on acid years ago. This was when I was first introduced to concepts of chakras and energy systems and I didn't really know what to think about them, so I was sitting in the park high and just for fun decided if I could 'raise energy up my body' as a goof to see if anything would happen. An intense rumbling energy started from my lower body and raised upwards like it was vibrating intensely. It went up through the crown of my head and dispersed. I was left feeling incredibly vital. A minute or two later I would sit to meditate and it was just waves of the highest bliss I'd ever remembered feeling at the time. That experience turned me on to yoga and pranayama practices. Experiences like these are exciting but no good comes from becoming attached to them. They also take months and years to integrate and balance from, even if it doesn't feel like a lot is happening. Judging from the intensity of your experience, I would take care in your lifestyle, practices and psychedelic experiences. Take great heed. Allow the energy to subtly do its thing over time. Sometimes these intense experience come for a few moments or an hour or two or a day and then go away. If you keep pushing the river, however, sometimes you may trigger an experience of that intensity that can last days, weeks, months or longer. It can be harrowing. Lackadaisical attitude towards this kind of stuff can occasionally afford you reprimand from the universe. My advice is trip less, meditate more, and avoid practices that focus heavily on moving energy or focusing on energy centers.

Yes. But a blissful life without suffering makes definitely sense while we are still here. How to get there is the so called spiritual process which (if done properly) sheds wrong identifications from you. The successful conscious identification with Everything that is brings you into that state where you are able to choose your Feelings and where is no Need to suffer. I a way you are anticipating the death of the Body/mind/ego as a seperate unit by doing that. Can you as a human being exist without the support of your body? No. Without the Support of a the earth or a similar planet? No. Without the solar System? no. So why not seeing all of it as your larger Body. Can this whole stuff exist without the Support of the whole universe? no. So why not seeing the universe as your larger Body? And can the universe exist without the no-thingness that contains it? No. So why not seeing the no-thingness or all-that-is as your larger or infinite Body? So recognizing that or being Aware of that while still alive is a wonderful Thing to experience life in the deepest possible way. Why getting up, eating, shitting, working, eating sleeping, reproducing and falling dead one day? Whats the Point of it? You want to be touched or overwhelmed by life, that brings joy and bliss. So lets go there and get the most touching and overwhelming Feelings out of it.

Another fascinating description: http://sivanandaonline.org/public_html/?cmd=displaysection&section_id=1728 "In Samadhi or Superconsciousness the Yogic practitioner gets himself merged in the Lord. The senses, the mind and the intellect cease functioning. Just as the river joins the ocean, the individual soul mixes with the Supreme Soul. All limitations and differences disappear. The Yogi attains the highest knowledge and eternal bliss. This state is beyond description. You will have to realise this yourself. Taste the immortal sweetness of the beautiful life in the Self within. Live in Atman and attain the blessed immortal State. Meditate and reach the deeper depths of eternal life, the higher heights of divine glory and eventually attain the full glory of union with the Supreme Self. Now your long wearisome journey terminates. You have reached your destination, your sweet original home of everlasting peace, the Param Dham." I wonder if that last statement pertains to the idea of enlightenment/liberation and whether the consequences of achieving that state would mean physically ceasing to exist in this dualistic reality or a freedom to choose between manifesting to different states of being. From what Ive researched (not much), this state is achieved or experienced by very few buddhists and even so after decades of meditation. It would be ground-breaking if a technology (5MeO) truely exists that could catalyze this process and allow people true liberation in a matter of a few years... Of course it wont be easy since the work is more concentrated but the opportunity itself is revolutionary. P.S. I have been waiting 6 weeks now for my onion provider to send me the onions but they should arrive any day now so I am really exited. What we have to be willing to do to follow our intuition...unbelievable If everything goes well, I can share my experiences in the near future

Thank you very much @Azrael for these trip reports and the very intriguing insights you have provided us in this forum. My question is mainly addressed to those who have direct experience with either a breakthrough dose of 5-MeO and/or have achieved high spiritual states (in buddhism samadhi states). I only have theoretical knowledge (Leo's videos, trip reports, samadhi states reports etc) but I want the opinion of direct experiencers. Here is a description of Nirvikalpa Samadhi (http://www.godrealized.com/nirvikalpa_samadhi.html). "[Nirvikalpa Samadhi is] The achievement of a goal where one meets the Creator of all Essence, comes face-to-face with his own atman the soul within which is of the same Essence as Brahman (the Creator of the cosmos)". "One gains Realization of God and the Self only after attaining the stage of Nirvikalpa Samadhi." From another source: "When you enter into nirvikalpa samadhi, the first thing you feel is that your heart is larger than the universe itself. Ordinarily you see the world around you, and the universe seems infinitely larger than you are. But this is because the world and the universe are perceived by the limited mind. When you are in nirvikalpa samadhi, you see the universe as a tiny dot inside your vast heart. In nirvikalpa samadhi there is infinite bliss. Bliss is a vague word to most people. They hear that there is something called bliss, and some people say that they have experienced it, but most individuals have no firsthand knowledge of it. When you enter into nirvikalpa samadhi, however, you not only feel bliss, but actually grow into that bliss. The third thing you feel in nirvikalpa samadhi is power. All the power of all the occultists put together is nothing compared with the power you have in nirvikalpa samadhi. But the power that you can take from samadhi to utilise on earth is infinitesimal compared with the entirety." So I come to my question: Are the experiences of breakthrough 5-MeO-DMT and Nirvikalpa Samadhi phenomenologically the same/similar/different and if yes then in what aspects. From my theoretical understanding the experiences have many common traits and descriptions which leads to an interesting hypothesis. Can 5-MeO help facilitate or "achieve" the pinnacle of spiritual development aka what the buddhist call "Sahaja Samadhi" :" When one has this sahaja samadhi, one becomes the Lord and Master of Reality. One can go at his sweet will to the Highest and then come down to the earth-consciousness to manifest." "Even after achieving the highest type of realisation, on very rare occasions is anyone blessed with sahaja samadhi. Very few spiritual Masters have achieved this state. For sahaja samadhi, the Supreme's infinite Grace is required. Sahaja samadhi comes only when one has established inseparable oneness with the Supreme." Source: https://www.srichinmoy.org/spirituality/concentration_meditation_contemplation/samadhi Can I draw the conclusion that Martin Ball, Ph.D has achieved Sahaja Samadhi?

Hi Pauline! I would like to take a swing at this one.:) There is a faulty premise in you statement - "Since it's becoming a bigger part of my life that I can't share with them". Let that go sister. Enlightenment is MORE you. It is less of the personality you and more of the you that is aware it is everything. An enlightened you holds the perspective of love when others sense lack. An enlightened you holds the perspective of abundance when others sense shortage. See that you are your family and they are you. See that everything is one. You don't need to explain a single thing to anyone, ever. Continue to pursue your enlightenment. It is the only worthwhile endeavor. As you progress, your family will like what they see, like what they hear. You will love them more and more as time passes. Just keep on your path. If ever you feel less that great, you have found yourself yet another wonderful opportunity to allow yourself to see as the universe sees, because you are the universe, and the universe IS love. Dissonance - or any bad feeling, is the result of you holding a perspective on something - while your inner self (the universe) is holding a pure positive perspective of bliss. See it the universe's way. This is what is meant by "letting go". You are letting go of your "me" or "seperate" perspective, and simply allowing yourself to see as the universe within you is seeing. Also, this may help when it comes to your perspective on your family - there is no "lower level of consciousness". Does a deer have a lower level of consciousness? Of course not. The deer IS consciousness. The deer does not have a cerebral cortex to add it's opinion to it's perspective. It simply is the universe. It just is. Rock on Pauline!