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I am a couple of weeks behind in videos..but many of Leo's other videos offer awesome insight into raising kids despite the fact that he has none...I'm curious now...but it's likely an interpretation @ThirdEyeSees ....that said...children usually have neurotic fucked up parents...and end up fucked up/ neuroti, and in need of healing/ reprogramming....our culture is also fucked up, and it fucks up both kids and parents...it's all pretty fucked...on the rare occasions, when conscious parents raise Devine kids, with magic bubbles of cultural deflection encompassing them, it's quite incredible....and the world would be pretty boring without kids...we need their innocence and curiosity....their spirit of wonder....their laughter....and their pure bliss!!!

I was panicking. Absolutely panicking. I was writing furiously on the identities I attached myself to. A failure. The terrified one. Someone who's angry at themselves. Some irrational and emotional baby. Some lazyass who isn't doing their work. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Whenever I removed one image of myself, even more came to emerge. I kept in mind Peter Ralston's exercise. Imagine there was a being with a blank slate who will become you if you explain who you are well. You can't say something vague "A lawyer" or "The funny one". Because other people are like that and they're not you. You can't say something your life principles or philosophies because it wouldn't understand how often you follow these and how well. And so on. Just yesterday I was feeling bliss. No longer the uncomfortable feelings of joy in Stage 8 that can become "too much". More of the pleasant feelings of Stage 9. But the thing is — the amazing power of how blissful this state distracts the practitioner from their object of focus. To work on calming this state — I had to focus on everything. Every sound. Every thought. Every feeling. Every sight to focus. Taste. Smell. Touch. The Mind Illuminated compared it to a narrow wild river. Its restriction makes it more intense, wild and overflowing. But once it settles into a much wider pond, it becomes calmer. But it made me feel overwhelmed — I remember a character who had the power to mind read, but they could never turn it off. So he always grew into a panic just by the sheer number of thoughts he can hear in a crowd. It was like this — but for more than just thoughts. I went to find the quietest place I could find, and continued there. I was so pissed. I got attached to enlightenment. I wanted it now. NOW. NOW. NOW. I had fallen so deeply in love with all that pleasure — and next day, I lost it all replaced with all this pain. The Stage of the Desire for Deliverance as called by Daniel Ingram. Next was Reobservation where I saw life with greater clarity. A painful clarity. Ingram explains that sometimes people here experience a frustration for "worldly" responsibilities such as life, job, relationships, moral codes and sex. I was suddenly frustrated with my own powerlessness to do much for this world. I didn't know enough. I didn't accomplish enough. I didn't have much of an ability to influence. I was just some normal guy. How the hell could I do anything? And more than that ; I was mediocre in my eyes. Just some ordinary teenage student — nah. Nah. Nah. Sure, I've been meditating and doing personal development since I was a kid and managed to surpass being depressed for years —but fuck — I want more than that. The thing I found most important during my depression back then was truth. Know the truth objectively and you'll somehow get out of this. If I had more understanding and information — I could solve everything. Wisdom is my highest value. And how was I reacting to all this? By freaking out. I was so angry at myself for not realizing the truth earlier. I thought I was just some pathetic bastard. But I remember what Ingram said — just keep meditating. So I gathered myself and meditated on my breath. Trying to muster the focus from my frustrations to my self. My embarrassment. My fear. My anger. All lost in my breath. And as time passed, it was gone. And I felt a calmness. A strange awareness of everything surrounding me. What seemed quiet to others before seemed unbearably loud to me. Now the noise of the crowd seemed as peaceful as hearing a soft rainfall. I could listen to every voice in the crowd as I talked with a friend. I felt the air around me. My own thoughts just trying to understand this. And I did all at once. My negative emotions seem unjustified and strange. Why would that bother me so much? I learned from Osho that most of ourselves is from comparisons. What if everyone else on Earth disappeared? There would be no one smart because there would be no one to be smarter too. No one good looking because there would be no one to be more good looking to. Who would you be? And for the first time — I seemed to experience that clearly. Did I just pass 3 stages in a day? Reading on, the extreme manifestations in this stage are rare but worth warning about. But some people just pass the Dark Night in a few minutes, hours or days. It was also introduced that Equanimity is when people start to feel that their spiritual practice is no big deal. I'll keep doing it — but it seems as ordinary yet important as taking a bath. Ingram mentions that if practitioners don't become well aware of new qualities such as peacefulness and ease, then they'll fall back to the stage before. Eh, I'm not phased much. Besides, I have a test tomorrow. See you.

@Shanmugam eternal bliss is your natural state. Thousands of words are the veil to your natural state.

@Shanmugam I agree with that interpretation of bliss. What i wanted to point out, is that bliss is considered a pleasurable emotion by most people. Most people seek enlightenment to gain something, such as the pleasure to be released from their suffering. This desire in itself is in conflict with gaining enlightenment. If the desire to gain bliss is the driver for a seekers practices, then enlightenment will never be found. It is the ego that desires. If you define bliss as something that just is, without looking forward to it. Then you are rare and already outside the trap of it. Yes, but the ego is not just a part of you. It is what most of us are fully and completely, at least in my experience. Its not that we are the ego in actuality, but it's all we know we are until we go deeper and let go of it. There is no problem at all, you are right about that, but only if you are already enlightened. If not, then the ego will cling to it as a desirable outcome. This is the trap of seeking enlightenment to gain something, when in actuality it is more an act of letting go and accepting life. Bliss is just something desirable for most normal human behinds, something they want and are striving for. Because of this i warn against it. It is my opinion, that focusing on desirable outcomes of enlightenment is dangerous, and beside the point. Because bliss has no meaning or purpose for an enlightenment person, it has no value at all. It's like showing a picture to someone who is blind. It's like asking the day of the week to a goldfish. Also i have lots of respect for your traditions. Tho i must admit, i do not know all of your religion in detail, as it is complex and vast So please forgive me, if i put my western spin on some insights, but is another perspective not worth wile at times?

@ShanmugamA tree resides in bliss because it doesn't know it's a tree.

one more thing.. Out of bhumikas I mentioned, only the stage 1-4 are stages of the progress... Anything after that is something that happens out of chance.. It rarely happens that some people reach 5th, 6th or 7th bhumika... The explanation given for this is prarabha karma.. And the eternal bliss I am talking about is the bliss of the people who are in 6th or 7th bhumika.. Also, as far as the jnani is concerned, there is no inferior or superior stage after the 4th.. It is not so difficult to understand.. We are in bliss when we sleep and there is no duality in deep sleep. This happens everyday. The only difference in the jnani going through this bliss is that his consciousness, empty of any objects just shines.. And most of the times, these jnanis are in samadhi, absorbed in Self.

@zazed actually, bliss is the nature of self itself.. it is not like experiential happiness.. You are bliss, and there is really no distinction of experiencer and experience in the bliss of self. the bliss of the self which is always mentioned is not an emotion. (what you say is a common misunderstanding, because there is bliss but there is no duality) The reason I posted this is to stop people from getting deluded. This is not a trap as you mentioned. It is the exact opposite.. I will tell you why. Ego doesn't like it when enlightenment is mentioned as bliss.. Because, for the ego, it looks like a distant goal, something that cannot be achieved. Even though the whole point of enlightenment is realizing ego as an illusion and totally dissolving the sense of separate identity, paradoxically, ego also wants to get enlightened. And when enlightenment sounds like something that is very easy to attain, ego likes that idea. I have witnessed this in so many people. If enlightenment is mentioned as eternal bliss, what is the problem for anybody to hear this? There is no problem at all. It is the ego which wants to make it as a problem. In India, every scripture talks about how blissful the direct experience of atman is... When you are not enlightened yourself, why deny something that is written again and again for ages in our tradition? And even if this was false, it is still not misleading,.. Because, no one, after realizing their own nature going to get disappointed after seeing that it is not eternal bliss.. Trust me, you wont say "Oh my God, people cheated me saying that enlightenment is bliss, I wasted all my life to attain this and now I am disappointed". Instead, you will just relax into the peace of your true nature. On the contrary, if enlightenment is understated, there is a danger.. Then every ego out there will be ready to declare that it is enlightened.. And that is the trap! Anyway, as I mentioned, most of the enlightened ones are in 4th bhumika (stage)... In this stage, they are active in the world and they will go through pain and pleasure, but with no complaints or regrets.. They don't feel incomplete or diminished. Yoga vashista has the complete description of all stages.. It says that in the 6th bhumika, people cannot come out of samadhi without others help, they are always absorbed in self, with no body consciousness, and food has to be fed to their mouth while they are in samadhi, to keep them alive. Ramana maharishi was actually like this when he was in the cave. (it is funny when I read from people who say 'ramana was training his mind, he was contemplating about self in the cave etc)... Termites were eating his body and he had absolutely no body consciousness.. I have dissolved my sense of duality three years before.. It took time to get steady; now I am always peaceful and there is a kind of pleasantness and innocence most of the time which I can't describe... But it is not like any emotions of happiness that I have usually experienced in life. It is not a distinct or special experience. It is just the nature of reality itself. When I don't have troubling vasanas, I am usually in deep pleasant peace. It is not an emotion or feeling, it is just me.

I also enjoyed Ramana Maharshi's writings. And this quote of you is exactly why it doesn't lead to eternal bliss. Bliss as we consider it, is an emotion. With the cessation of duality, who is there left to feel the emotion of bliss? What remains to even care about feeling bliss? Why is it even important to feel this pleasant bliss? And what are pleasant feelings even? It is just semantics and bickering when people say there is no bliss, so you are right in a way. But it is in reality totally beside the point. In actuality, bliss is a mundane idea of the human brain. The enlightened one is above bliss even, so it is irrelevant to him. His state is unfathomable and beyond words or any comprehension of both of us now. And yet extremely simple and non-special in its non dual reality. When there is no duality, what is there? Who/what am i really? Is bliss not an emotion to desire, am i that desire, or that emotion itself? And if i am experiencing and enjoying bliss, there is bliss and there is me, so there is again duality? If there is no duality, then yes, i am bliss. but i am also hate. i am love. i am pain. i am joy. i am green, black, blue and orange. I am high and i am low. i am sound and i am light. i am thought and i am speech. I am you and i am this one. I am all the things, for if i was not all the things, then there is me and the separate thing. Two things is duality, and there is no duality, so they say. This is why it is irrelevant to think it leads to eternal bliss, its a trap of the mind/brain, a limitation to let go. Its not that you are wrong, its just not the right question to ask perhaps? But what do i know.. I am talking about non-duality, this creates duality, because there is non-duality, and there is my talking about non-duality?!

Here is a verse from Brihadaranyaka Upanishad Chapter 4, Section 3, verse 33: “4.3.33 He who is perfect of body and prosperous among men. the ruler of others, and most lavishly supplied with all human enjoyments, represents the greatest joy among men. This human joy multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy for the Manes who have won that world of theirs. The joy of these Manes who have won that world multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy in the world of the celestial minstrels. This joy in the world of the celestial minstrels multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy for the gods by action those who attain their godhead by their actions. This joy of the gods by action multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy for the gods by birth, as well as of one who is versed in the Vedas, sinless and free from desire. This joy of the gods by birth multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy in the world of Prajapati (Viraj), as well as of one who is versed in the Vedas, sinless and free from desire. This joy in the world of Prajapati multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy in the world of Brahman (Hiranyagarbha), as well as of one who is versed in the Vedas, sinless and free from desire. This indeed is the supreme bliss. This is the state of Brahman, O Emperor, said ‘Yajnavalkya. I give you a thousand (cows), sir. Please instruct me further about liberation itself.’ At this Yajnavalkya was afraid that the intelligent Emperor was constraining him to finish with all his conclusions.” Shankara also acknowledges this verse in his commentary on this Upanishad and further cites a verse from Mahabharata in his commentary: “Vedavyasa also says, ‘The sense pleasures of this world and the great joys of heaven are not worth one-sixteenth part of the bliss that comes of the cessation of desire’ (Mbh. XII. clxxiii. 47).” ......................... So, when you reach a stage in your life which makes you wonder 'Am I enlightened?', be careful not to delude yourself... First of all, once your perception of reality becomes non-dual, there is not going to be an agent or a separate entity to ask 'am I enlightened', when there is true enlightenment. Because, that is when you realize that there is no one to get enlightened; you come to realize that both bondage and liberation were illusion.. (There was no snake in the first place, all you perceived in the darkness was a rope Go deep in your mindfulness practice, sharpen your attention and awareness to witness each and every arising thought, keep zooming into the field of consciousness and catch every though before it arises.. If you do it moment to moment, the illusory entity that you take yourself to be will completely disappear! Mindfulness when done properly is self-inquiry; self inquiry when done properly is mindfulness... If you are able to see that they are one and the same, then you are on the right path, a fast track to enlightenment.

Yesterday night, the nimitta began rapidly and I mean RAPIDLY expanding. It's as if a small orb the size of my pinky grew to be as big as a building in my mind. I was in the middle of the night time leisurely reading and upon this, took this chance to enter a luminous Jhana. I closed my eyes and sat upright. And I no longer had to prepare for it to grow larger, it was already growing larger by itself. I began moving it back and forth in my head as fast as a sweat inducing high speed basketball game. And rather than moving only subtly, or growing smaller, it followered through. I kept hearing my family members talk a bit beyond my eyes. And I felt as if I was seeing through my eyelids — having images in my mind of what I would see happening if I open my eyes. My mom on the couch hunching down talking to my mildly amused grandma. But I went deeper. The Mind Illuminated described it as like sinking into a pool of bliss. And it does. It feels "moist" somehow. Something soft as a cushion wouldn't describe it. A cushion would seem too "solid" to fully describe it. Flowing first and then fully submerging into it. It lasted for 15-20 minutes when I saw the time. But it felt like an eternity. After it, I started to feel subtly disgusted. Disgusted with my meditation. Disgusted with my family. Disgusted with my room. Disgusted by weakness. Disgusted with life. I searched for Daniel Ingram's description of this stage in his book — it was called The Disgust Stage. And it was right. I did feel like my mind was expanding and contracting at the same time. Think of it like trying to close a bag full of so much stuff inside. Except the bag and the things inside feel as large as the radius of a nuclear bomb and the force to close in it as similar. And that was. . . frustrating. The book described it as the inability to focus on the center of things. Deeper awareness is often described with big talk of calmness but deeper awareness here was just disgusting. I felt like my senses and mind were being intruded by all this information and it was frustrating. Amongst that, I was still being bathed by bliss. I could feel the refreshing coldness of it. How wet it feels in my head. What a bizarre combination. Bliss and disgust at the same time. I threw up that night. Yellow and pale brown looking moosh in the toilet and next to it. More than one time, you bet. I wonder if I ate too much to make up for my intense hunger earlier or it was the disgust acting in me. Maybe it's both. After groaning at how terrible I felt while having a family member trying to comfort me by rubbing my back, I slept. When I woke up, it was gone. I slept late from the stress and usually I'd be falling asleep in lectures at a time like that, but I felt alert the whole day. Things I expect to be embarrassed of distressed about didn't expect that way. I find I fell deeper in love with meditation and I've became wonderfully interested by how fascinating everything was. I often think a lot of absolutely terrifying shit to others is fascinating. A daredevil — not in extreme sports but in ideas. In changing beliefs, in changing viewpoints and especially in changing paradigms. What a ride, I bet. Or maybe all this joy juicing my system is making me overoptimistic. Texts seem to warn about that. I need more equanimity. Equanimity is a non reactivity of what's bad or good. It may seem like what's left is a feeling of emptiness, but far from it. Alan Watts talked about an old teaching in Buddhism — it's like the sky. There can be clouds covering it. Rain. Whirlwind. Storms about. But what's beneath is always the calmness of a blue sky. Once everything is cleared up, what's left is joy. It doesn't mean wouldn't no goals in mind, especially with my interest in all this. But if I wasn't able to, there won't be such a large variation in my mood. If there's any change at all. It's just . . . calmness. I've heard enlightenment doesn't really make you 100% happy. It only changes your relationship with emotions. They refer to the two types of emotions. The direct emotion and how you feel about that emotion which the second one is something you can control. Its like how people can listen to the same music and one can think it's horrible and the other can think it's amazing. Emotions — even what we call the negative emotions, don't actually have to be "negative". Same goes with positive. In Headspace, the author recounts talking to his guru, that even the positive view has to be removed. Because to have a positive view means that you have a negative contrast to compare it with. How could we know light without darkness? Life without death? If my judgement is right from what the book says, the Passing and Arising Stage where I experienced intense joy then intense calmness with pummeling insights of how time did not exist and how existence wasn't different non existence was about a week or two ago. The Fear Stage came quickly after that when I suffered intense terror at some crazy ass visions during a meditation. Misery Stage was two DAYS earlier and Disgust Stage was yesterday at the time I'm writing this. Am I mistaken, or is everything coming a lot more faster than I expected it? Though, now that I think about it, when I think back, it looks like I experienced stages like these before. I just never actually had information at hand like this to know what it's called. I pick up my iPad and flick through pages of my ebook to read. I'm in stage 9, I realize. Is this really happening? Haha, well whatever it is. This is going to be interesting.

It's an unsettling bliss. Not for the entire day really, but for very long. You ever watch those movies where for example, a family member of a character dies and they'd come into a room expecting they'd still be there, they're gone? And because of this, they feel distressed. Upset. Longing for the past. But they know they can never go back. It's like that. But for my sense of self. I've spent my entire life with myself. I've criticized my identity. I've prided on my identity. I've shouted angry words at myself. I've gently told myself to hang in there. I was with myself in my highest and at my lowest. I've read books together with myself. I was with myself when I was with my friends and family. But it's gone. I always had been daydreaming a whole world since I was a kid. Where I'm the hero. Where I can be admired. Cherished. Become a success. Whether it's in the world of one of those samurai anime tv shows I used to watch or a world of my own creation. It's been an inner legend as if different variations of the same tale being spread throughout history. The history of my life. The idea of "The success story." Those times where I cheered on movies about a character who's caught by the enemy and put in great pain but manages to push through. Those stories of people stuck in poverty and managing to contribute millions to humanity in a business. Those stories of people who were absolute dicks but managed to become a humble Saint. And so on. Its like my sense of self was organized and shaped into an ice cube. But it began to melt, and I try to cusp the water into my hands but I can't anymore. Because my real self is formless. And I'm trying to hold on whatever is left of the ice. I don't think most people would understand if I told them. So all I have is a site like this. I see flickers of pride and gratitude for who "I" am but then I realize this person doesn't exist. And it's not the same. There's bliss now. And yet there's also an unsettling emptiness. A sadness. In who? I don't know anymore. I don't know.

Learn OSHO KUNDALINI MEDITATION This “sister meditation” to the OSHO Dynamic is best done at sunset or in the late afternoon. Being fully immersed in the shaking and dancing of the first two stages helps to “melt” the rock-like being, wherever the energy flow has been repressed and blocked. Then that energy can flow, dance and be transformed into bliss and joy. The last two stages enable all this energy to flow vertically, to move upwards into silence. It is a highly effective way of unwinding and letting go at the end of the day. Osho on How to Shake: "If you are doing the Kundalini Meditation, allow the shaking – don't do it! Stand silently, feel it coming, and when your body starts a little trembling, help it, but don't do it! Enjoy it, feel blissful about it, allow it, receive it, welcome it, but don't will it. "If you force, it will become an exercise, a bodily physical exercise. Then the shaking will be there, but just on the surface. It will not penetrate you. You will remain solid, stonelike, rocklike within. You will remain the manipulator, the doer, and the body will only be following. The body is not the question, you are the question. "When I say shake, I mean your solidity, your rocklike being should shake to the very foundations, so it becomes liquid, fluid, melts, flows. And when the rocklike being becomes liquid your body will follow. Then there is no shaker, only shaking; then nobody is doing it, it is simply happening. Then the doer is not. "Enjoy it, but don't will it. And remember, whenever you will a thing you cannot enjoy it. They are reverse, opposites; they never meet. If you will a thing you cannot enjoy it, if you enjoy it you cannot will it." Osho Instructions: The meditation is one hour long, with four stages. First Stage: 15 minutes Be loose and let your whole body shake, feeling the energies moving up from your feet. Let go everywhere and become the shaking. Your eyes may be open or closed. Second Stage: 15 minutes Dance ... any way you feel, and let the whole body move as it wishes. Again, your eyes can be open or closed. Third Stage: 15 minutes Close your eyes and be still, sitting or standing, observing, witnessing, whatever is happening inside and out. Fourth Stage: 15 minutes Keeping your eyes closed, lie down and be still. http://oshokundalini.com/index.html

@Shin Here some purposr i discovered form myself. (And i think some others can confirm) When i fap, i dont only get 10 seconds of bliss, also the time afterwards i feel calmer and more clear headed. This effect is stronger the longer the breaks inbetween. On the other hand, if i would fap daily the "afterglow-effect" would almost completly be lost.

@Anna1 Not really apathy, just the exact opposite.. Whatever I do, I am able to do with full enthusiasm.. I get completely absorbed and become one with the task.. But I agree I lack many things: the ability to regret, ability to complain about what happens in life, ability to feel anxious about future, ability to feel the emotions the same way I did (weird, huh? ) etc... And I am not suffering from it, I am enjoying the freedom that comes with it.. If I suddenly come to know that all this has nothing to do with enlightenment that is talked about by gurus but it is seriously a mental disorder, that will make no difference to the peace... This reminds me of a popular quote: "I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it" Let me be very honest with you.. I really know absolutely nothing about how an enlightened person's mind looks like. I don't know whether he experiences pain or pleasure etc.. All I know is about my own mind and the freedom and peace that came from my own practices... And I wouldn't know what happens in the future because no one can tell. But I have heard different things said by different people about how an enlightened person thinks and experiences life. There is a guru in India with millions of followers who claim that this guru has changed their lives. They are totally impressed by him! And the guru claims that he is in ecstatic bliss all the time, he doesn't have any thoughts at all except when he has to move around, if he wants he can simply close his eyes and just die by his will etc... And there are other people who claim that after enlightenment there is still suffering, still craving, still anger, etc. Finally there are people who claim that there is no suffering (the suffering which causes an individual to feel miserable , lost or diminished) but there is still pain and pleasure. This version actually is quite similar to the type of whatever disorder that I have. .. But this weird disorder also made me incapable of worrying about anything at all. But ultimately, enlightenment is just a word with many definitions that people have associated with some kind of liberation that happened for them, which can be verified only by them. After all, I can only know what happens in my own conscious field.. When others tell me about their field of consciousness, I don't really have any way to verify this. I just have their testimony poured into my ears... So, Let me repeat... I don't know anything about what happens after Moksha, what persists after moksha etc. But since you are certain about it and seem to know everything that happens after moksha, let me ask you this question: You say that pleasure and pain persist after moksha... may be.. I don't know.. I have only heard people saying so... But how do you know that for sure? Can you be absolutely certain and 100% sure about this? If yes, how? (I am not starting another debate with you.. I am only going to ask you questions.. In the further discussions about this topic with you, I am going to maintain that I don't know)

Didn't follow instructions/advice on using spinal-breathing pranayama when I was around 18. It is like kriya-yoga and was used with mantra meditation alongside a few other prescribed yoga practices for working with kundalini energy etc. You were supposed to start slow and simple and only take on further progression practices once the previous ones had proved to be comfortable and balanced over several months, and warned to scale back and reduce or remove practices if you are experiencing any negative symptoms. Being naive,I didn't listen to any of that and even took on practices that were described for only people who have practiced comfortably for years. I overdid it and became very ungrounded because I was getting interesting experiences of bliss and general intense physiological stuff. It was not a spiritual pursuit for me but more wanting to get high and it was a way of escaping. Sometimes practices can create joy and all kinds of phenomena that is exciting to the ego but it is frenetic and ungrounded as opposed to integrated. Eventually over time it kind of exhausted and burnt out my nervous system and any practices would be overstimulating and overwhelming. Any pranayama would leave me severely uncomfortable for days, and even meditating for short term made me uncomfortable, ungrounded and emotionally volatile and anxious for a few days. Even ten minutes would make the next day or two quite uncomfortable. It took almost 2 years before I could meditate for any length of time again without negative symptoms and maybe another 2 years before I could feel grounded in general. There were also shorter periods of more severely uncomfortable experiences. Scary times, frankly, but worth the lessons, and also gives me an appreciation of being able to just sit in silence.

I was just checking out some old videos of myself and it was really eyeopening from a distance and in the light of what I know about my psychology today. In 2009, 2012 or 2015, no matter when, I played the oboe beautifully. Still, I remember always feeling so inadequate and I see it in the videos. There were two fundamental problems: I was beating myself up over the tiniest mistakes and as soon as something happened, I simply gave up playing the rest of the phrase. Sometimes, admittedly not when I have a gig but when I'm playing for college, this still happens to this day! My posture and strength. My stance was too wide, my knees and center too floppy and as soon as I had to play, there was massive movement in my legs and body in order to compensate. The funny thing is, that never happened to me when I was singing (either classical or pop while accompanying myself on various instruments). I felt so amazing and expressive doing that. In those videos, I was just beaming like crazy - I delivered, never made mistakes and gave a fuck about technical imperfections - but actually, my singing skills were way lower than my skills on the oboe at all times (well, for at least 10 years now). But my carefree bliss totally charmed people. That's what I was lacking on the oboe most of the time. Nobody likes a perfectionist. I mean, seriously, there was this piece one I just listened to: I literally thought "what is that angelic sound? It's so beautiful, I can't even believe I was part of producing it!" then my bad shape hit me, a mistake slipped and I couldn't play the piece to the end (the listener-me was thinking: "quite unfortunate, but OK... it was so beautiful before"). When the piano finished as well, I looked all defeated and you could literally see all the nasty words that were going through my head. I was defeatedly explaining what happened, talking talking talking and I didn't let my professor say a word!!! Other than that, there was so much interesting stuff in these videos. E.g. a lot of free improvisation that evoked feelings somewhere in between of "what the fuck is this?!", "dope shit" and "omg we had no clue what we were doing". Or my bachelor project that wasn't so well played because once again I wasn't in shape but perfectly designed and well-orchestrated with the other participants (an actress, pianist, singer and technicians). Now, I feel motivated to make reeds, practice, get my body in shape, play, do something I already started with some reeds.

@Shin Really all that is happening is our awareness is increasing, nothing more. Everything else is just monkey-chatter. We are not even in control of this increasing awareness. We're just aware of it happening. The Self is unfogging it's own mirror. It's the ego that interprets this as progress. There really is no value in reality. Reality just is. Enlightened life is no more objectively good than unenlightened life. It's only the ego's preference for peace, bliss, that gives the nod to enlightenment. The ego kills itself in this quest though because in the pursuit of peace and bliss, the Truth ends up chopping the feet out from under it. So, we are tricking the ego to kill itself basically. But even that cannot be seen as objectively good, because reality just is. There are no objective values in reality, that would be egoic, a human perspective super-imposed upon reality. Maybe this is why you hear the cliche that it is better to transcend a strong ego than a weak ego. But the trippier thing is that pursuit of peace and bliss is egoic, but the end of that egoic quest leads to annihilation of the ego -- yet we cannot even say that that is objectively good! This is very tricky stuff. Sneaky, egoic drives are behind enlightenment initially -- the ego gets on board, but it's a death-wish ultimately. Why would the ego be dumb enough to plot its own demise? Well, think of hard drug use, it's the same concept -- the ego being stupid and thinking too myopically. The ego sucks at thinking long-term -- that's its weakness. Enlightenment is a way of exploiting that weakness. It's like luring a mouse onto one of those snap-traps with an enticing piece of cheese.

@Joseph Maynor Read these excerpts of various commentaries by Shankara: "The Absolute is that in which there is no particularity. There is no name, no form, no action, no distinction, no universal, no attribute. It is through these determinations alone that speech proceeds, and not one of them belongs to the Absolute. So the latter cannot be taught by sentences of the pattern 'This is so-and-so'. In such upanishadic phrases and words as "The Absolute is Consciousness-Bliss' (Brhad.III.ix.28.7) . 'A mere mass of Consciousness' (Brhad.II.iv.12) , 'Brahman', 'Atman', the Absolute is artificially referred to with the help of superimposed name, form and action, and spoken of exactly in the way we refer to objects of perception, as when we say 'That white cow with horns is twitching'. But if the desire is to express the true nature of the Absolute, void of all conditioning adjuncts and particularity, then it cannot be described by any positive means whatever. The only ' possible method then is to refer to it through a comprehensive denial of whatever positive characteristics have been attributed to it in previous teachings, and to say 'neither this nor that'. - (Brhad.Bh.II.iii.6) - Shankara "Nor can the Absolute be properly referred to by any such terms as Being or non-being. For all words are used to convey a meaning, and when heard by their hearers convey the meaning the speaker had in mind. But communicable meaning is restricted without exception to universal, action, attribute and relation.... The Absolute, however, does not belong to any universal (genus), so it cannot be expressed by a noun such as 'Being' or 'non-being'. Being without attributes, it cannot be described by any adjective denoting an attribute. And being actionless, it cannot be expressed by any verb denoting activity. For the Upanishad speaks of it as 'Without parts, without activity, at rest' (Svet .VI.19) . Nor has it any relation with anything. For it is 'One', 'without a second', 'not an object' and 'the Self. Hence it cannot be expressed by any word. And the upanishadic texts themselves confirm this when they say 'That from which words fall back' (Taitt .ll.9) , and in other passages." - (Bh.G.Bh.XIII.12) - Shankara And because the Absolute has no particular characteristics, the Veda indicates its nature by denying of it the forms of all other things, as is shown, for instance, in the following pa sages: 'And so, therefore, the teaching is "neither this nor that"' (Brhad.II.iii.6) , 'It is other than what is known, and above the unknown' (Kena I.U), 'That from which words fall back without obtaining access, together with the mind' (Taitt .II.9) . And the Vedic texts also relate how when Badhva was questioned by Baskalin he gave his answer merely by not speaking. 'Sir, teach me in words', Ba§kalin said. But the Teacher remained silent. Finally, at the second or third time of asking, Badhva replied, 'I am telling you, but you do not understand. This Self is utter silence' - (B.S.Bh.III.ii.17) - Shankara ........................................................ This teaching method 'Adhyaropa apavada' is not properly followed by many modern teachers who teach Vedanta today. That is why people get stuck in all kinds of concepts..I recently came across books by Swami Satchidanandendra Saraswathi, who was a Sanskrit scholar and vedantic monk. He dedicated his whole life in bringing out the kind of teaching method that was actually adopted by Shankara. He lived up to the age 94 and has written over 200 books. In fact, he rediscovered this teaching method again. Here is how he describes in short, in one of his books: (a) In order to disclose the nature of the self as Brahman in itself Srutis like the following negate all specific features superimposed on it by the unenlightened common mind :- "It is this Akshara (the Imperishable), 0 Gargi, so the knowers of Brahman say. It is neither gross nor subtle, neither short nor long, not red, not viscid, not shadowy, not dark, not the air, not the ether, not adhesive, tasteless, odourless, without the sense of sight, without the sense of hearing, without the vital principle, mouthless, without measure, neither interior nor exterior,. It eats nothing, nobody eats it." - Br.3-8-8. (b) Lest, by this strict denial of all properties it may be taken to be absolute nothing (s'unya), it is taught by means of illusory attributes seemingly pertaining to it owing to Upadhis (apparently conditioning factors). (c) At the close of the teaching the rescission of even the imputed attributes used as a device for purposes of teaching, lest it should be regarded as actually belonging to it. (modern teachers stop with (a) and (b) ) ...................... And Buddhism has a different teaching model, uses different kinds of concepts but ultimately the goal is the same. All theories in traditions are only teachings devices, they are not the truth themselves. For example, many people don't know that Vedanta itself is an intentional superimposition to remove superimposition on Self.

@The White Belt Yes. The next step is to be the Truth. Awareness and being merge into one. That's true bliss. This is accomplished by simply realizing that that's what you already are.

This is my recount of my first experience with psilocybin mushrooms. I took psilocybin mushrooms for the first time in late June 2017. I woke up a bit after 4:30 am in the morning. I made sure to go to the bathroom and get a bottle of water before the trip as I did not want anything to interrupt it. I retrieved my psilocybin mushrooms and weighed exactly 5 grams of dried Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms. Before I ingested the fungus I took about five minutes to sit in silent meditation. My room was also in complete silent darkness as psilocybin preforms best in this environment. During these five minutes I listened to some calm music and mentally prepared myself to completely let go of everything. I got into a mindset in which I was ready to die; right there and right then. I was ready to be completely obliterated. After this meditation of complete surrender I turned off all technology around me. I paused out of respect for the fungus, I then looked at the mushrooms and said “I will go wherever you take me, with grace”, and then I ate the mushrooms. They actually tasted quite good. After eating the mushrooms I then got into lotus position and meditated at the edge of my bed. This was one of the stillest meditations I had ever had. It was almost as if my body knew the profundity of what was to come. After about 20 minutes of silent meditation in darkness I felt the first effects of the psilocybin. My body began to feel heavy and I felt a tingling all over my body especially in my spine and in my head. I then leaned my back against the wall as I meditated. I began to feel nauseous as well; I was prepared for this as I had a vomit bucket next to me. As the effects intensified I then had to lie down flat on my back. The effects became more intense. As I laid down I immediately got in a bilateral symmetrical position. Somehow I knew that this was going to be very important. I remembered listening to interviews with Martin Ball and the importance of bilateral symmetry during psychedelic experiences. Then the weirdest and most profound experience of my life began. As I laid in the silent darkness of my room on my back with my eyes closed it was as if my ego structure was sucked right out of my mind in an instant. Through no volition of my own my body began to contort into various bilateral symmetrical poses very similar to the ones that martin ball discussed. It was an extremely strange yet beautiful experience. I had no control over these movements and it felt like the psilocybin had possessed my body. My nerves were tingling the entire time this happened. I could feel my nervous system trying to balance itself as the psilocybin entered. As my body continued to contort into these various poses they became more wild and intense, it felt as if the psilocybin was testing the waters. It was entering my body and trying to see how it could take control of my nervous system and guide me. It felt to me that it was trying to get accustomed used to being in a human body. My perception of time dissolved as well. When I opened my eyes I saw intense visuals in a grid like pattern overlaid on my vision. At this point I could see the light from the sunrise through the blinds in my room. As I peered out it was so bright. Brighter than anything I had ever seen yet so beautiful. The bodily contortions slowed and I heard an intuitive voice say something along the lines of “ok, that was your introduction, now are you ready for what I have to show you?” There was no ego present however I knew that this was about to get very intense. At this point I don’t really know how to describe what happened as there was no ego and no sense of time. But I will do my best to recount. My consciousness / awareness was then catapulted outside of space and time in a void of complete nothingness. I then heard the intuitive voice say something along the lines of, “I need you to understand the profundity of the things that I am showing you.” “People rarely get to experience things like this.” In the nothingness a light formed and I was that light and the witness of the light at the same time. The ego then tried to ask questions to try and understand, label and interpret what was occurring. The psilocybin did not like this at all. Immediately as the questions of the ego arose the experience began to turn negative. In the void I saw red and black vivid colors emerge. I saw hundreds of psychedelic demons come into existence and general chaos ensue. Keep in mind that I was the colors and demons and chaos. The ego of Thomas roger became concerned at this and tried again to ask questions and understand. But it was as if the psilocybin said “NO!” “You will wait until I am finished showing you what you need to see before you begin to intellectualize any of this!” “Simply sit back, experience and observe this.” After the psilocybin said this, the ego of Thomas-Roger was obliterated in a sea of destruction and chaos. I felt the pain and agony of being completely ripped apart in every way possible. The ego was screaming at the top of its lungs. The ego screamed out into the void and was abruptly silenced. The ego was dissolved and transmuted into the chaos that had annihilated it and the immense pain was turned into infinite bliss that I had never felt before. Now that the ego was not going to be a factor anymore in this experience I was now the light in the void. However even after this there was still a witness of awareness. At this moment I felt as if I was everything in existence. Then the psilocybin said “ok, great, now we can continue.” As the experience went on my awareness/ consciousness began to traverse the multiverse with the psilocybin as my guide. I was shown the intricacies of our illusory concepts of space and time. I was shown that all is absolutely ONE. Next even more strange occurrences ensued. I was shown a massive psychedelic “city” made of pure light that existed outside of the multiverse, space and time. This “city” of light was large enough to make Earth look tiny in comparison. The psilocybin guided my awareness through this place. I saw technologies made of what I can only describe as light. I saw technologies so inconceivably advanced that they would make the greatest human technological marvels look like less than stone age tools. All throughout this “city” were beings of pure light. Some of them were humanoid in shape some of them were so alien in appearance that I can’t even begin to describe them. These beings could bring things into existence simply by thinking of it. They could travel anywhere in the multiverse by teleporting. They created worlds for fun. The psilocybin told me that I (awareness/consciousness) could do this as well. I saw many other things here that I can’t even begin to describe with language. All I can say is that this was a beautiful place of love and light. The most memorable thing that I saw in this place was a vast library of all of the knowledge in the multiverse. It was like a cathedral and a library made of pure light. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I lack the vocabulary to describe just how beautiful it was. After seeing this beautiful place of love and light at one point I was shown a nexus of information in which streams of information were pouring out at an extremely fast speed in all directions. This information consisted of every way that we humans use symbols to communicate information. This included but was not limited to all forms of language and all forms of mathematics. I felt at this time that I knew all languages, all modes of communication and all relays of information. Information was everywhere. From the sub atomic to the molecular all the way up to the multiverse. I saw information in DNA helixes, plants, animals, myself and everything else. I (consciousness/awareness) literally knew everything. At this point I experienced the most intense and breathtaking part of the experience. I felt like I experienced everything that had ever happened in all of existence simultaneously in less than a second. It was so powerful that the witnessing awareness/ consciousness was obliterated. The witness was the last vestige of anything resembling duality at all. Now there was only the happenings of existence and I (pure nothingness) was all of those happenings. It was as if I had created existence and decided to experience existence in every way possible. From bacteria to entire civilizations spanning light years, every life, every breath, every experience was one. And I was that one. It’s very hard to describe with the limits of human language, but I will continue. I felt like this experience lasted hundreds of millions of years. It was so vast and visceral. I lived as thousands of people, plants, fungi, bacteria and animals. I saw entire alien civilizations rise from the stone age to type three civilizations and fall. I lived as various men, women and children. In all of these experiences there were vast, various things constantly changed about them but one thing remained the same. The consciousness that was experiencing life remained. I don’t really know how to describe that. I experienced childbirth from both the perspective of the mother organism giving birth and from the perspective of the child organism being born. I experienced sex from both the male and female perspective simultaneously. I felt both masculine and feminine energies as ONE. I felt how integral sexuality was to existence and just how profoundly divine sexuality is. Sexuality is not simply a bond between a male and a female. Sexuality is a vector in which novelty can be introduced into the universe and existence as a whole. All of the millions of experiences and perspectives were happening so fast and it was impossible to keep up with the experience. It was moving so fast that it was overwhelming it was a sea of chaos and yet I was this sea of chaos. After all of this profound stimulation everything returned to the void. This void felt like infinity. I was in this experience for eons. It was unborn and undying. I was this void of absolute nothingness from which everything stemmed and I was that void. After experiencing eternity in the void of absolute nothingness standard reality began to form. Thus commenced the comedown phase of the experience. The witnessing consciousness reformed. I came back into my body. My body felt extremely heavy and difficult to control. My mind went from states of being conscious to unconscious. Slowly my perception of reality shifted from that of cosmic consciousness to that of human consciousness; however my perception was still nondual. I felt all of the information that I had witnessed being embedded into my nervous system. My whole body was vibrating as I began to come back. My head was ringing/buzzing for the entire rest of the day. This headache did not go away until the next day. As I slowly came back to physical reality all of my bodily senses were very sensitive. I felt everything so vividly. It was very intense to even feel my body lying on the bed. Feeling the air being pulled into and pushed out of my body was also very intense in a way that I can’t really describe. I was so immersed in tactile sensations that I began to feel the bed very gently. It felt like this was my first time touching something. As I tried to get up I fell several times over a dozen before I was even able to get to my knees. As I looked around my room I felt completely in shock. The best way I can describe how I felt at this time is I felt l how the character David did at the end of the movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey, after he had come out of the stargate. My room looked like an alien environment to me. I felt like I was seeing it for the very first time. I had not felt like this since I was a baby. As I looked around I thought it was VERY strange that anything was happening at all. I thought that it was very strange that we humans could not simply do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. I then looked at my hands and I was blown away. I saw the complexity and strangeness of the biological machine that I was looking at. It was very amazing. I struggled to get to my feet. After falling about 6 more times I finally managed to barely stand up. I was amazed at how my body was working. I was amazed that I even had a body. I looked at my bookshelf and I was almost in reverence for it. I nearly cried when I looked at it. Reason being, after seeing that library of light during my experience, I have a newfound respect for information. I had to use the bathroom afterwards so I slowly walked to the bathroom. Walking wasn’t easy after the trip. When I entered the bathroom and saw my reflection in the mirror the first thing I thought was WHAT THE FUCK?! It was so strange to see a body looking at me. It was so strange to see a body at all. Again it was like I had never seen a human body before. On my body I saw visuals like patterns and glyphs moving all over. However the visuals were the least of my concern. They were cool and interesting to observe but I was more mesmerized by the fact that I had a body at all. My body looked like an alien organism to me. After using the bathroom I asked my trip sitter what happened to my body. He said that for the most part after the contorting poses I was passed out. He said that at one point that I began flailing, grabbing things and swinging them around and making incoherent noises. It surprised me that I was not screaming at the top of my lungs at one point during the experience. This is because when the ego was being obliterated I could have sworn that I was screaming at the top of my lungs in complete agony. After learning from my trip sitter that most of my trip consisted of my body simply lying there I was ok with that. I walked around my home feeling like this was my first time seeing it. I decided to walk outside in the backyard and when I did it was a bit overwhelming. I marveled at all of the lifeforms outside. I simply sat in the grass in awe of the planet I had just returned to. All in all the psilocybin experience lasted for nearly six hours. It was the strangest, deepest, most profound and most beautiful experience of my life thus far. This experience forever changed the way I look at reality and it has supercharged my existing meditation practice. Psychedelics are really an amazing tool for learning, consciousness exploration and enlightenment work. They can lead to many beautiful things if the student is ready for the lesson. Here is a video explaining the positions that my body was contorting into. Skip to about 5:25 in. The grid visuals I experienced during the come up portion were very similar to this. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/Thermodynamic-Horizon-76214599 This is what the "city" of light was similar to. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/ET-Contact-676996115 This is what the visuals overlaid on my body looked similar to. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/Vitis-Animae-264377166

@Real Eyes Well to answer your question in all honesty I did not have any expectations going into the experience. However I prepared myself as much as I could before the trip and I was ready to experience heaven and bliss or hell and obliteration and I experienced both. It was far beyond anything I could have ever imagined and it was a life changing experience. I read a lot of trip reports and listened to the lectures of Martin Ball and Kilindi Iyi before the trip and that definitely also helped me to ground myself and prepare for the experience. I have thought about it deeply every day since it occurred.

Let me quote what Shankara says in his commentary on Brihadaranyaka upanishad: "And the knower of Brahman has already attained all desires ; he cannot for that very reason have any more desires. The Sruti (upanishads) too says.'We who have attained this Self, this world' (IV.iv. 22). But there are some who hold that even a knower of Brahman has desires. They have certainly never heard the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, nor of the distinction made by the Sruti that the desire for a son and so forth belongs to an ignorant man, and that with regard to the domain of knowledge, the statement, 'What shall we achieve through children, we who have attained this Self, this world? and so on, is applicable." - Brihad aranyaka Upanishad- chapter 2, section 4 - Introduction by Shankara Brihadaranyaka Upanishad Chapter 4, Section 3, verse 33 states the following: "4.3.33 He who is perfect of body and prosperous among men. the ruler of others, and most lavishly supplied with all human enjoyments, represents the greatest joy among men. This human joy multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy for the Manes who have won that world of theirs. The joy of these Manes who have won that world multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy in the world of the celestial minstrels. This joy in the world of the celestial minstrels multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy for the gods by action those who attain their godhead by their actions. This joy of the gods by action multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy for the gods by birth, as well as of one who is versed in the Vedas, sinless and free from desire. This joy of the gods by birth multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy in the world of Prajapati (Viraj), as well as of one who is versed in the Vedas, sinless and free from desire. This joy in the world of Prajapati multiplied a hundred times makes one unit of joy in the world of Brahman (Hiranyagarbha), as well as of one who is versed in the Vedas, sinless and free from desire. This indeed is the supreme bliss. This is the state of Brahman, O Emperor, said 'Yajnavalkya. I give you a thousand (cows), sir. Please instruct me further about liberation itself.' At this Yajnavalkya was afraid that the intelligent Emperor was constraining him to finish with all his conclusions." Shankara also acknowledges this verse in his commentary on this Upanishad and further cites a verse from Mahabharata in his commentary: "Vedavyasa also says, 'The sense pleasures of this world and the great joys of heaven are not worth one-sixteenth part of the bliss that comes of the cessation of desire' (Mbh. XII. clxxiii. 47)."

Talking about living true to your values, today was a good day. I finally know my job decently enough to guide customer, and even if it's just basic guidance (working in a hypermarket) the egoless state and bliss that appears just after is amazing. Know imagine this feeling, and multiply it by 100, this is how it probably feels to live according to your deepest values.

I always imagine that in truly living your purpose...that there would be bliss in the devotion of the mastery... that time working would simply melt away in irrelevance.... the present moment would be amazing all the time... that everyday would be an adventure...like this classic song:

@John Iverson There are many places that you can receive training. @Sarah Marie would be the best person to ask since she is a practicing spiritual medium. I just recently found out that I channel angels. I started receiving spiritual guidance when I changed my diet to Raw Vegan. You may not need to change your diet but everyone is different. I know there are a few books that say if you want to be better able to communicate with your guardian angels they will highly suggest that you change your diet and detox friendships and negative feelings. I am not familiar with what is required for spirits in general. A lot of the time we have blockages that prevent us from seeing them/ feeling/ hearing/ etc. A lot of it is revolved around fear and lack of belief. They will not show themselves if you don't believe or are afraid of them. There is spiritual growth involved and needed to experience angels. I'm not as familiar with the deceased because I don't receive their messages. They are on a different lower vibration. This is not to be perceived as bad. As there is nothing wrong having a connection with loved ones from the other side. Just because they have crossed over to the other side doesn't mean they still don't have an ego, and their own opinions. And they may want to contact and connect with you. It's just that Angels are messengers from God, and have the highest intention of helping you to fulfill your life purpose and to bring peace on Earth thus they have a higher vibration. Everything is energy. Our brains and minds are receivers and transmitters of energy, and put an actual frequency based off of our emotions. There is a lot to be learned about energy, and I would highly recommend learning, studying and mastering the LAW OF ATTRACTION, as there is a huge connection between energy, manifesting success, and contacting spiritual entities. It even helps with prayer. You have to be careful who you listen to about the Law of attraction stuff because there are a lot of teachers that sell products that have absolutely no clue what they are talking about. This guy knows his stuff hands down: Kevin Trudeau. He is a good place to start. **** Everyone has the ability to be Psychic and connect with their Angels and Spirit Guides. It's whether or not people choose to do it and seek to clear the blockages that may be preventing them from receiving their messages clearly. The six different clairs are: (or ways spirits communicate with us) Clairvoyance–having clear seeing, someone sees through the third eye between his or her two eyes. One sees flashes, images, or something like a movie film of what is happening in the past, present or future. *I see repeating numbers a lot of the time. If you are seeing repeating numbers you should take the liberty to look up and see what advice and guidance you are receiving from you guardian angels. Because of my Reiki and when I close my eyes I see "colored flames", which are the Archangels who help to send Reiki Energy and healing. *My mother saw my dad a few weeks later after he had crossed over. She saw his physical body, but he looked younger and in good health. He was there to provide her comfort and let her know that she was ok. I've never had the opportunity to see spirits except for my near death experience in December 2014 when I saw an angel in my hallway. http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/p/index-numbers.html Clairaudience–having clear hearing, someone who hears information with the mind, not the ears. Basically, it is telepathic information coming into one’s mind. Sometimes people will hear this as a regular voice as if someone is speaking to them. This is not to be confused with the ego voice that we hear that is negative and puts us down....aka the monkey mind. There is a HUGE major difference between clairaudience messages and hearing voices, or having negative thoughts in your head. There are many books that talk about this. Usually the clairaudience voices have these characteristics: Sentences usually begin with the words you or we. Theres a sense that someone else is talking to you, even if it sounds like your own voice. It's readily apparent how the message to your immediate concerns or questions The voice is to the point and blunt. The sound is loving and positive, even if it's warning you of danger. It asks you to take immediate action, including changing your thoughts or attitude to be more loving. You may hear a voice call your name upon awakening. You could be aware of strains of beautiful disembodied "celestial music" (They can also send you songs you hear on the radio, or they get stuck in your head. The song lyrics usually have some piece of advice that you need or provide comfort. I get this all the time and out of the blue for no reason.) You might receive a message of self improvement or helping others. (This happens to me a lot) False clairaudience, false guidance or imagination Sentences usually begin with the word I It feels like you are talking to yourself The message is muddy, cyrptic or unclear The voice is wordy or vague it's taunting, alarming or cruel (which is a clear sign this is your ego) Theres gossip and speculation about others you hear abusive words you experience loud, unpleasant music, or noises Theres a message to hurt yourself or others. *** This information is being quoted from the book: How to Hear Your Angels by Doreen Virtue, PH.D. She is a psychotherapist and a spiritual medium. She has a lot of really good books as well as a class to learn how to connect with your angels. Claircognizance–having clear knowing, someone has information or knowledge of something that he or she does not actually know. Thoughts come out of nowhere, popping into one’s mind, and give information about something that might happen in the future. (I've had this happen during my hypnosis sessions, usually when I'm wearing my Lapis Lazuli necklace. I just seem to give really good positive advice that just comes out of no where! It just comes naturally) Clairsentience–having clear feeling, someone can feel the information within him or herself. An example of this would be if someone is having an anxiety attack and the clairsentience person feels this in his or her own chest. With Clairsentience you may experience: Air temperature changes (I get this a lot when I play with Angel Tarot Cards. I usually feel heat over the cards that I should choose after I have asked a question A sudden surge of euphria or bliss ( I have this happen alot with my reiki) A gut feeling that this experience is surreal, even if you're reluctant to share it with others. A sense of familiarity coming over you as a deceased person you knew well hovers nearby Clairgustance–having clear tasting, someone can taste something that isn’t really there. For example, someone tastes chocolate but he or she is not actually eating any chocolate. Clairalience—having clear smelling, someone can smell odors that are not present. An example of this would be to smell some perfume or a cigar, but neither of these things is present in that moment. Usually people that are deceased like to visit there loved ones to check on them and provide comfort. You may smell familiar scents or smells of someone that has recently crossed over. I've had this happen to. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There are many types of spiritual experiences and connections you can have. I also had a major break through when I studied Reiki. Reiki is spiritually guided energy, which gives life to everything on Earth. Once I was attuned I was feeling a major connection there. Another route you can take is Shamanism. I also had a hypnosis client tell me that he was using 5MEO DHT and one time he saw Aliens after he asked permission to see them. They even gave him some great advice as well. It was a life changing experience for him. He said he used 5MEO for several years, but he only saw the Aliens twice. I'm going to ask a friend of mine who is also received psychic training and see where she studied from. I would also search for groups at meetup.com and on facebook to see if you can find more information and people to connect with channeling.