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Anyone reached stillness during mediation? It is not just the calming of the mind/thoughtlessness but a pure subtle stillness. It is extremely subtle. Its hard to describe. I can get this 'feeling' (I say feeling, but essentially its just nothingness) during mediation and I try to hold onto it during the day but its no where near as intense. It fades away as I carry on with my day and completely vanishes as I work. Sometimes I regain the feeling randomly during the day, and I just sit there looking like I'm daydreaming but I'm completely still. Any ideas on how to make this 'feeling' last outside of mediation?

All examples are building resistance to some stuff like adversity or using body mechanics effectively. If you starve when/and feel good there is nothing chaotic about it, all as planned. If you have a stable job and do art project on side there is nothing chaotic. If you remove dirt from your mind it's just sweeping, nothing black swany about it. Antifragilty idea seems to me to be breaking laws of entropy. Planned calculated chaos is not chaos. Real life hydra would crumble under excessive heads weight. Leo style Nothingness hydra would be everything and not giving a flying f about fragility. Only some people are truly in their comfort zone - we call it enlightenment. For other souls, tormented as they are, its immoral to call them being comfortable. Imho.

As I said, there exist many minds; obviously,..Currently, if we speak in normal conceptual language, then I'm one person(one mind), and you're another person. Having a mind is an experience. Sure, a special type of experience, as other experiences are percieved through the mind. The mind is like a filter. Most rationalists won't agree having a mind is an experience, though There are infinite experiences. That which "has" the experience is Nothingness/You/Me/Infinity/Consciousness/Etc; it's all one, we're all one. Yes, Consciousness is having many experiences right now. Infinite experiences probably;) And yes they are all different. So yes there exist infinite experiences within this true ultimate One Self. "But where and in what dimension can a multiplicity of experiences occur? " I don't get your question. But of course existence is insanely mystical, so there are many questions we cannot answer:D You could also view it differently and say we're all streams of the same essence (consciousness). But why are you that stream, and me this stream? (Why I am having this experience right now, and why are you having "that" experience right now? :D)

Just as there are many trees, there are many flowers, many oceans, many stars, many pigs, many lions, many birds, many tables, many cups, many galaxies, many persons, many bodies, many minds, many hands, many cellphones, many computers, many websites, many feelings, many beliefs, many cultures, many viewpoints, many ideas, many thoughts, many experiences. However, all those "many's" are all deliberately created by You, popping into and out of existence within You, and perceived by You. You = Me = Consciousness = the only true self that is = Absolute Infinity = Nothingness. The error people tend to make is that they assume that a brain-mind is 'capable of experiencing experience' (experience = many's). A brain-mind is not capable of that. A brain is concept, which we define as a physical lump of billions of nerve cells (= more concepts, you can go on). A mind is an even more abstract concept, which can best be defined as a set of complex information/data/filters stored within a brain. Currently, You -- whoever is reading this meaningless text -- are perceiving existence through a mind "with the help" of a brain. You are not a brain. You are not a person. You are not a body. You are not a mind. You are not a thing. The brain and the associated mind is merely a "tool" for You to experience reality/existence in one unique way of the infinite possible ways.

I actually liked to meditate when I was a bit sleepy so far. It felt like I could go in deeper, because the sleepines seemed to take on the job of "diving deeper" or letting go and I had to just sit and observe how the sleepines is steadily leading me in deep states. It's like observing the sleepines. The negative point of course is that sometimes dozing off can happen. And isn't it easier to enter deep meditational Delta brainwaves when sleepy? In deep sleep, where only nothingness or our true nature seems to be left, delta brainwaves have been recorded.

How God (aka no-self/nothingness / everythingness) loves:

I think you didn't fully understand what I was saying. Yes, the "me" who was describing the ego, WAS the ego. I know that. But we need a form of communication, right? And the term "Ego" is accepted and known in this community. I also could call me an entity. In absolute truth, no entity exists nowhere. However, "we" are emptiness. And in this emptiness, there -seemingly- lives an entity with own (to us unconscious) agendas. You could also say, a mythological apparent entity is arising in emptiness/consciousness. There is only nothingness, but in this nothingness, an "entity" has nested with which we identified ourselves. Again, once non-duality is realized, the duality of "good" and "evil" is just a dream. But in relative terms we would call killing jews/raping people/steal from others "evil". And it is the ego who does this. Both on the micro and the macro cosmos it's running amok. I also wrote we must love and accept the unconscious shadow parts that are already existent. This is the opposite of building a shadow-side.

Motion and the connection of various pockets of motion into patterns are the absolute rather than nothingness. Enlightenment is a paradigm created by people who have not evolved enough yet to have quantum cognition as their base level state. Nor have the tensile resiliency to maintain cognitive superposition. I mean look at computers, they are binary electrical switches of 0 and 1, similar to how people argue between oneness vs duality. But you don't see people trying to make computers with only 0 or only 1 right? No, they are working on quantum computers that allow for Qubits to be both 1 and 0 at the same time as well as just 1 or 0. This gives computers exponential levels of multi-dimensionality because you can now stack and connect rather than remain in isolation. That is also how humans can evolve (how I have been evolving these past 5 years). You don't go backwards to this nonsense of everything being JUST one thing with zero differentiation. No, you learn how to work with connective tension and control your inner mechanisms of magnetism (van der waals forces or attraction and repulsion) and how that effects your perspective and cognition. That gives you control over intensity of attraction and repulsion and how it shifts your mind and emotions, choice over our propensity for tunnel vision (of which oneness is an extreme example), the ability to slow down and create a better environment for stability and harmony (much like suspending particles a hair above absolute zero), which allows you to STACK and build and connect to much greater levels then humans currently have experience of. That's the road to reality, not nothingness. People think thoughts arise from nothingness, but that's because they're stuck in on/off mode and aren't fast enough and expansive enough to see the underlying structures in the human body that activate the narrative and perspective creating parts of our minds. They can't hold the superposition necessary to have their awareness touch those other structures without automatically attaching and collapsing into a non superimposed state. Without that state, you can't see the different layers of dimensionality and the inter-relations between such things as volition and automation while also mediating all the various elements of movement that are all having an influence simultaneously at all times. There is so much nuance and context a person is missing out on, without that key multi-faceted ability.

Loved reading and inspired me, however, how is it like death, if you were experiencing something, be it nothingness? I get that it might be like death of the human, but how can it be like death, if you identify with who you trully are, that was never born and will never die. Just my thoughts, maybe this is what is stopping you from reaching that level of truth without a substance.

In my personal opinion, Enlightenment is the place before paradigms, and out of which all the paradigms appear. Hence, It is crucial to reach the screen in order to change your paradigm, the very context of your life... How the pixels of experience are perceived. And it has to be based in truth, otherwise you're going to be deluding yourself in a crazy paradigm where everything is against you, or whatever else bullshit the ego can conjure up. My thoughts, they come out of that same nothingness, and if I dont like them, I go there and order a new pack of thoughts for free! Let's change paradigms together, based on investigating reality and no self.

@Kloof It's not something you can believe. It's so radical it's unbelievable. You can only believe things your paradigm can imagine. And no paradigm can imagine Absolute Infinity or Nothingness. It's way too big for a mind to handle. The only way is by transcending mind. This is very challenging because everything you've ever experienced has been mind, so you don't know where to turn. You're stuck in mind for the time being. But inquiry will slowly unravel your mind.

Logic. What is the opposite of temporary life? Eternal life. Only reason its not eternal death, is because there is a truth which exists that tells us that we cannot imagine nothingness, so long as we are conscious.

I think there is a reason for why this kind of thought-pattern, or paradigm, has not survived and become an established religion. It is because, if you take the road to non-duality, or enlightenment, before having taken the road to love and compassion, one is destined to manifest into complete absence of action. In a way, it's quite like evolution. Those who were enlightened and loved, spread their enlightenment, because they indeed did not belief everything to be pointless. They have engineered their psyche in a way, that despite facing absolute nothingness, they could still operate from love. From that, actions of love took place, revolutionizing the world in the process. Now, everyone who was enlightened and did not take the path of love, did take another path nonetheless. That path simply lead to them not do anything. Their enlighenment showed them that the world is illusion, and even love was illusion. They had no reason to love anyone or anything. They had no reason to relief other beings of suffering, because after all, other beings don't exist. See, both paths are equally valid. The zen devil just as much as the enlightened buddhist. There is no reason not to love, just as much as there is no reason to love. Whether you will love or not completely depends on the leftovers of your psyche. The structures of your psyche will decide the actions you will take. And make no mistake, because even the absence of tradition will lead you to one set of actions over the other. How your mind interpretes "enlightenment" completely depends on your psyche. And ironically, any interpretation is illusion. Yet, the interpretation always happens. I choose the path of love now, not only so that it gives me strength to actually take this path to the end, but also because I want to act out of love if I ever am "enlightened". And if enlighenment was my only goal, I'd simply jump off a building. That would make short shrift of my ignorance. The true question is why not meddle with it? The avoidance of action, after all, is an action in itself.

@Leo Gura On the scale of a lifetime i have understood like 10% of what spirituality is all about ! ? So the absolute is really far from me but you're video on paradigm completely revolutionise my way of questionning reality and i was like : "because every experience is paradigmic ( i'll create this word ) than enlightement is non different than that !" But beyond the experiences of Nothingness and Emptiness i really wasn't knowing what was enlightement and i still don't know but now i know why enlightement is the absence of paradigm and why nothingness creates the absence of paradigm. Nothingness ultimately lead to the No-Self and the No-Self leads to Enlightement and Enlightement leads to the absolute, and the absolute leads to No paradigm. Keep on what you're doing. I'll love to follow .

I was going to wait until completing my self-imposed retreat, but I'm high on insight right now and need to share before this leaves me. The following was realized from 12 hours of consciousness work, not even that intensely focused, mostly monkey mind, but still deeper than what I've done in the past. I'm amazed at the difference between 12 hours of isolated work and the sloppy 10 hour session I did a few months back. Holy shit. Holy shit. I've been asleep. I didn't even come close to realizing how quickly continuous practice would bring up my inner demons. I've been working hard on trying to create better external life-circumstances for myself while having consciousness work play second fiddle, but today I got a deep feeling that what I'm doing is TOTAL BULLSHIT. I'm just afraid of giving up the remaining materialistic tendencies because I AM SO FUCKING AFRAID OF THIS WORK. It was easy when I'd just do an hour or two per day while spending the rest of my life grasping for illusions, pretending like I was chasing anything worthwhile. I should have noticed that after months of letting go of my old ways, the ego was coming back even harder. I could outwardly acknowledge how superficial and unfulfilling such pursuits were, but that attitude was incongruent with my inner reality. I've become, in some ways, a shallow, shallow person who won't be pleased until he has better material conditions than anyone else. I became aware of the fact that I was just chasing this fantasy that would always demand more and more, subjugating myself to the hedonic treadmill while recognizing it's folly on a conceptual level. I wouldn't say I had a no-self experience, but I experienced my "self" my life story, that thing that I am trying to serve as just a series of sensations and thoughts (which are also just sensations). I wasn't quite able to identify as nothingness, but I at some level became aware of the ego not really being there in the obvious, undeniable way I thought it was. Everything I'm chasing in life is a lie. This work is important, and I'm afraid of the Truth. I just want to distract myself with fantasies of this body having it's ideal circumstances, and immortal body that instantly gratifies all of it's material desires. When I sit down and see them for what they are, I just find lies. All lies. I'm so, so terrified. I've kept using the excuse, that I'd be materialistic now and be a serious sage later, but when I do the work, I can see how stupid that is to serve the ego. I'm not sure what the alternative is (conceptually I do, but not in my direct experience), but I have to choose it. But I'm afraid. I'm so fucking afraid of what I'm going to find I don't even know how to express it. It's unfathomable that I could experience such terror by just sitting and doing nothing. Sorry if this comes across as melodramatic, but I really wanted to capture my state today while it was still fresh. I know I'm not even doing serious non-duality yet. That being said, I'm going to keep going and see where this takes me. Call it masochistic, but I'm sort of enjoying the mind-fuck. I'll update this thread as my consciousness work continues. Updates: Day 2: Was restless all day. Afraid of pushing farther. I see the benefit of being in a formal setting. Accountability is huge, but I'm doing the best with what I've got at the moment. The mind does weird things when it's isolated and without stimulus. I just need to keep at the work and have faith in the process. The benefits others have derived is clear. I need to remember that when I try to talk myself out of it by saying that I'm just some crazy person wasting my life on this stuff. Day 3: Super fidgety and unfocused. Tried making excuses but ultimately kept pulling myself back. Low quality work was done but I'm making progress in facing the fear of going deep. If this is my hero's journey, the existential terror is my threshold guardian. I became somewhat conscious of the ego's deepest desire: To be God. It wants to control everything and satiate all desire.

@The Universe all paradigms happen inside emptiness/nothingness/consciousness. The "thing" where the paradigms are playing on is therefore not itself a paradigm. there are many different movies, but the movie screen itself is unaffected by them, it allows them to exist.

This is some thinking on the topic of paradigm of naive realism/physicalsim/nothing being behind the scenes/ one of the major paradigms in this weeks vid. This is based on the topic Well, real is that what is. Atoms do not exist - they are not real. But consciousness does - it is real. Consciousness is an oneness of everything, but each of us is a piece of this oneness, which became ignorant to the fact of oneness. My example is the following: 5 year old watches TV for the first time. I switch it off in a basement. Then switch on. For a 5 year old it stopped existing, then resumed. But me switching IS THE STUFF BEHIND THE SCENES for him - I am an example of finite hidden mechanism. But if everything is oneness and each of us is a pocket - than if we lift all the pocketing at once - there is nothing behind the scene because there is nothing but this self aware oneness. Now literally - is there a man who can tell how he experiences oneness without being on drugs at the moment? Can he know my thoughts? My thoughts are absolutely real - I hear them. If there is nothing hidden - guess my thoughts. If there is nothing hidden - guess my thought behind the writing in an unknown language. This text is just an explicit pointer to an explicit audio signal with explicit semantic. You can't guess my thoughts - they are hidden from you - how can you tell there is nothing else hidden but the feelings of others? Someone tells an example of math line. From here see two thoughts: - Infinite regress can bring you the answer just like infinite zero size points give you a line. - Math (and scienece) is something more than feelings. A scientist predicts reality at the same moment when usual human fails. What is it if not a hidden strucutre? Any lawfull prediction is a pointer at a hidden structure. If I cannot experience true oneness than there would always be the stuff behind the scenes for me. If everything is one, but I obviously experience it in other way, there is a mechanism for that narrowing - this mechanism is the stuff behind the scenes as well. Is it ego? But ego is described to be a fact of a semantic feeling, carrying the payload of us being this body, brain and whatnot. I do not really buy that this simplictic feeling can shut down my life feed with oneness, do you? If so - then why is it so easily shut? There should be a mechanism behind it. So than we do not even know what really is stopping us from being enlightened. But maybe concsiousness and oneness do not exist - maybe it is nothingness. But nothing is nothing. No thing. Here we have all this feelings, everchanging. So it is everythingness rather than nothingness. Do you call it nothingness to underline it's not being based off anything? Why everythingness can not be not based off anything? Sounds like thermodynamics paradigm talking in your naming conventions. If one (Like Leo just for example) reaches everythingness and stays there, wouldn't he merge all of us into it, elevate the universe? Have we had any fully realised humans? If so, they should've been omnipotent? Why we are not all elevated than? What is the behind the scenes mechanism which kept fully realised humans in the past from elevating the whole universe back into full nothingness? Okay, maybe it is the state-of-the-universe - maybe it is unchangeble, maybe there is nothing which could be changed at "will". If there is nothing changed at all by that people, than what is the worth of reaching that place? Maybe I should just reach unconditional happiness in a simple enlightenment and stop there? If we say success is not for true actualization. Then we say full realisation do not change anything. Why do it? If I'm happy unconditionally, I do not need happiness from this realisation, it won't bring me anything. Am I wrong somewhere in this strip? Where to go? Is this all just an in-logic paradigm masturbation, or does this have merit? Non euclidian geometry is still very much rational and logical. What exactly is post rationality? How can we judge if we are not toying ourselves when we lose probabilistic logical models of argument about axioms? What I mean here is very simple: human can break free from ego paradigm - and he becomes serene. We can see such people on youtube, even skype with them. But how do we judge our way is good when we talk higher things like this metaphysics? Is it a game of chance and daring of the spirit? Is it for the better? Leo has another video on loving the questions and getting couple of them through life. He tells us that living trying to answer them gives fulfillment. But isn't fulfillment useless under unconditional happiness? Btw, yesterday I've at least chipped a large chunk off my fear of death, so I now have a period of high motivation for actualization hence this text )=

Death=Nothingness is Perfection indeed. That's one of my top theorems on the spiritual path in exploration of truth. The theorem is proven to myself, but it won't be satisfactory proof for you. Only you can prove that theorem to yourself, and you will, in due time, like everyone else.

Entry 83 | Death Theory: Death is the most severe form of adversity in this existence. Willingness to accept it and embrace it requires inner strength that comes from beyond the Ego. Applying it: When the news arises that a loved one has died or is facing death in the near future, remain present with your feelings. Rather than denying them, bring your emotions into your immediate awareness and feel their beauty. Today I made a trip home to visit my uncle who has cancer. A few days ago, he was suffering so badly that he had to be taken into a hospice to be cared for. But as of yesterday, he's been back at home and is feeling alright again. It is looking unlikely that he will be around for much longer. All I could do is to embrace his company for around an hour with my mum. We don't really talk to each other that much usually, but there is still a loving connection there. I didn't necessarily want to ask him lots of questions when I got to see him. Just being able to look at him and share the moment together was enough. As the present moment stands, he is relatively well and happy. Of course, there is that doubt in everybody's mind as to how long he will continue to be around. But as of right now, the matter is irrelevant. It will only become relevant when death does occur. For now, the most relevant thing for everyone to be doing in our family is to be appreciating the fact that he is still with us. It's interesting to think how easily we take other people for granted in our life. Only when the matter of death arises do we feel it necessary to appreciate that persons existence! Surely it would be a much better world if we could learn to appreciate the people who are alive right now? That doesn't mean to say we should forget about the legacy of the dead. But there should be no reason why we appreciate both the dead and the living as equally important. I remember when I discovered that the guitarist Michael Hedges died in a car accident in 1999. My whole perception of the guy changed. He wasn't just any old guitarist to me any more. He was a genius who was taken from this world too soon, as it were. Of course, that was my opinion at the time. I've since learned that everything happens the way it is supposed to and, hence, Michael's death was always meant to be. Especially in light of the words he speaks in the video below. Now I contemplate my own demise. One could say I'm in my prime as far as my whole life is concerned. My physical fitness is great, my guitar skills are the best they have ever been, my confidence is at an all-time high, and I've reached a point of self-acceptance where I can look in the mirror and love what I see. I've not felt that way in a LONG time. Whilst all of this is great because it's in the present moment, the inevitable crumbling of these things will happen. These things will eventually disappear into nothingness. On a deep level, I can appreciate that death is just the permanent passing from the conscious realm into the unconscious realm which is formless and timeless. Yet I still feel it to be a great shame that this conscious life can't last forever. Then on the other hand, I do not need life to last forever in order to feel fulfilled by it. If I can learn to truly appreciate what the present moment has to offer with each passing day, then I will reach my death bed knowing that not a day was wasted. Maybe my uncle has learned to accept this truth. Although he may not be the richest or most successful man in the world, he has created a wonderful family to have around him in the form of four daughters and 4 grandchildren. With each day that comes along, he can take solace in his contribution to the world in the form of his family. He can truly appreciate their existence and his own in light of the present circumstances. Maybe then, death can be used as a tool to focus on what the present moment has to offer. Perhaps every morning when arising out of bed, I should remind myself that I could've very easily died in my sleep and I could well do so when I return to sleep. There are moments throughout my day where I openly express to myself how much I love life right now. Everything about my body and my mental attitude just feels wonderful. It feels so good to look in the mirror and consider myself as being "good-looking." But so long as I don't start developing an attachment or an identity with what the present moment is now, I will be able to remain grounded throughout the duration of my life. Because ultimately, what I truly am is far beyond mind and body. Death is nothing to be afraid of. We all experience the unconsciousness of death when we fall asleep. There are no fiery pits of hell, but there are no heavens in the clouds either. It just is what it is: the yin to the yang. One cannot truly appreciate life without there being death. Pick of the day:

I would say that in my opinion a description of enlightenment is a perspective. But actual enlightenment which reveals what reality is is NOT a perspective. I have listened to dozens of videos and red many books on enlightenment and the existential fact that these sources point to in my experience is true. But the language that is used to communicate these spiritual truths such as reality is nothingness, you are god, god is nothing, thoughts are illusions. All this is observable and discoverable through enlightenment work. I have gotten taste of these experiences so from my little view, I can arrogantly say that what is communicated between the lines in enlightenment teachings are literal facts. But I just don't know if I'm in deep delusion or on to something. I can with 99,9% certainty say that the ego is false. But is that still a paradigm if that insight was realized based of an empirical investigation? Are metaphysicsal truths supposed to be placeres in a different category than paradigms? I don't know. Hope I'm making sense here, shit this stuff is nuanced.

I don't even feel like this is a special expirience. It's just so obvious. I think whenever I meditated previously, I was always trying to do something. Even when I was pretending not to want something, I simply was. It's like I was trying to focus in on awareness, not realizing that I have always been focused on awareness. I was so caught up with trying to find out what that "awareness" might be, that I couldn't simply expirience it, as I was all the time. It's so strange how the feeling of past and future is so fragile. Right now, it seems like there has been no past, everything that happened always happened in the now, and all that I thought the past to be was merely a feeling and memories, that all still happened (happen) in the now. Even describing now as now is kind of silly, because there is nothing else than now, so there is no word needed to describe it. It literally is everything that exists. Even using present tense is strange, as if there was something else than presence. I don't know how to describe this feeling, but it feels like the nothingness before death was just part of the moment right now, as everything else I have ever "expirienced". If I had to put it into words, it's like awareness is the moment, and the moment never, ever changed. And somehow, the content just became a resonance of that fact. So, even if the content changes, even if I go unconscious tomorrow, it will not matter at all, because I am part of content. The moment will not change no matter how much the content will change, even if tomorrow the content is death. I don't even feel like my own suffering is bad right now. It's strange, because I do care about my suffering when I am wanting to do something. But the condition I am in is giving me such a great certainity that suffering is completely irrelevant, that I don't even care about caring about suffering in the "future". Everything is the moment, every single thought I have, every single concept. I don't see a difference between being with the concepts and thought, and being purely with whatever else is there. Both are content, no matter how "chaotic" the content is, the moment is always completely still and calm. Having monkey mind is just as much of being "in the moment" as every other state is. Even the most unconscious state is "being in the moment", because there literally is nothing else than that. Not wanting monkey mind is the content trying to be a certain content. Wanting to be "enlightent" is a state of content. Whether the content aligns with the moment or not does not matter at all. The content will never have influence on the moment. Wether the ego exists within content or not does not matter either. Isn't it the ego itself that wants the ego to disappear? Because, what else is there to want anything? The moment itself doesn't want anything, it's just there. And if the moment is the only permanent thing there is, why even bother? The moment always has everything it wants, because it doesn't want anything. It is beyond wanting. Wanting to understand and become the moment is the contents desperate attempt to change itself, isn't it?

Religion is not ritual. It is not something that you do. It is something that you become. So there is always a possibility of a false religion existing somewhere in the society. False religion is when the inner transformation has been substituted by outer ritual. Then you go on doing things and those things will become a deep-rooted habit with you, but nothing is achieved. People go to the church and the temple, and they repeat the same prayers again and again. Nothing is happening to them. Somewhere on the way they have missed; somewhere on the way they have lost the real coin — and they have substituted it by a false coin. Remember this, that the real, authentic religion is concerned with the being, not with the doing. It has nothing to do with your outer way of life. It has something to do with your center. Of course, when the center changes, the periphery follows; your outer life also changes. But the reverse is not true: you can change the periphery — the center will not change. And you win live the life of a hypocrite, a life of hypocrisy. You will have a different periphery from the center, not only different but just the opposite, the very contrary. And you will be split in two. Religion is not ritual. Remember that. Religion is an inner consciousness, an inner awakening. Many things on the surface will change, but the change must occur within you first. The true religion is existential. Buddha lived it, Jesus lived it -- but remember, Jesus was not a Christian and Buddha was not a Buddhist, he had never heard of the word. The truly religious people have been simply religious, they have not been dogmatic. It has always happened to only a few people and then it disappears from the earth because the intellectuals immediately grab it and they start making beautiful ideologies out of it -- neat and clean, logical. In that very effort they destroy its beauty. They create philosophies, and religion disappears. ISIS talks about Jihad. It is very easy to die for religion but very difficult to live for it. Actually, it is always easy to die for some cause. All that is needed is a kind of madness. Dying happens in a moment, so even a single moment of insanity is quite enough. But to live, awareness and wakefulness are essential. Only those who live for religion know religion. Those who martyr themselves for religion do not know it at all. You cannot understand Jesus through a priest. He himself has not known. He has read, he has thought, he has contemplated, he has speculated, philosophized. Yes, he has a very cultivated mind, he knows the scripture; but to know the scripture is not to know Jesus. To know Jesus you will have to know your innermost nothingness. Without knowing it you cannot make anybody else acquainted with Jesus. Repressing your desires and destroying your desires is not the way of celibacy, because if you repress your desires you will remain hung-up with them. Repression can never bring freedom. Repression makes you a slave. Repress anything, and that will become your master. So the so-called celibates in the monasteries are continuously obsessed with sex.

I haven't had pure DMT in a long time almost a year now and i know 5-meo is different as they say but based on my experiences and all the things i have read as well as others experiences i believe its quite possible to reach the same states of consciousness (if you will). The description in that infinite state quite similar to what i experienced after all the visuals and when i came to the realization that all these visuals, fractals, vibrations, entities, higher selves ect.. is ultimately me guiding myself to reach my infinite/creator self or oneness again and in that moment they all just vanished and ceased to exist and i was put into this infinite void or space of nothingness yet experiencing everything in creation all at once 100% capacity. Pure presence, pure awareness nothing else. Its so strange that you can experience through everything in existence, every eyes, every sense that exists all at once even for a split second this will change you forever. What interests me is that they say the highest state of the universe is unconditional love, but i experienced that in the lower stages but when i was at this state it was beyond that. It was just pure consciousness, no feeling, no love, no fear, no thought, absolutely nothingness yet everything. Maybe i just cant remember it well but that experience when i entered that final infinite state lasted about 15-30 seconds real-time but it felt like in was always there forever and ever. So is 5-meo is a direct connection to that state? I feel N'N-DMT may be easier for some people because all the illusions and fractals/sacred geometry, visuals ect.. have a powerful hypnotizing effect and once you surrender and allow to what you are experiencing you go beyond all of that and into the heart of existence.

Yes, silence is always normal. If you are the calmest motherf* in the room, other's judgements just fall off you like dust. Judgements others make of you, as being not normal or crazy, they all just dissolve and burn in the fire of the eternal nothingness or Atman. Everything is so small and shallow it loses all significance.

Hi, Deep My personal experience is that spirituality, or stripping away the onion of Ego and roles, gives me a dimension of safety during daily life, because I can always centre myself in nothingness. It allows me to accept things with open arms and judge less a situation as good or bad and just try to instead "surf" the situation by observing my inner state and deep breathing. Remembering the Atman in daily living is like an amazing tool that lets you live through things in absolute peace, rather than make you incredibly stressed and unhappy, if you believed yourself to be the persona in the dream.