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@Shin Very nice, i think you are well on track, and i recognize some of this mind thinking. I think you are enlightened as long as you are aware of the thoughts. what is the hard part is keeping it up through some effort, which is in fact training the mind to not self identify all the time, and training it to stay in the present. The fact that this is even possible as a process, means you are aware, and thus consciousnesses. It doesn't mean you automatically walk around in 24/7 bliss, but it will in the end. Through longer and longer states of perfect mindfulness, the human mind gets used to it, in the end it will become a natural state. But the fact it's possible to work this, means enlightenment has already happened, because it takes awareness to be aware of your thoughts as a separate thing. which most of us can do quite easy. What do most people do, when they reach enlightenment, which everyone who has read about it reached instantly. They reach it, because by telling them to watch their thoughts, they are aware at that moment, watching the thoughts. Well most people expect all their worries to instantly vanish when reaching enlightenment, so they ignore the enormous significance of this event. They do not realize, that they can try to watch their thoughts 24/7. And if they do, after a lot of trying and failing, they can be enlightened 24/7. So they meditate perhaps 30m in the weekend, and go on with their normal life regardless, identifying with all its problems and letting self thoughts run free all day. This one tries to practice mindfulness all day, as much as it can, and the gaps where i completely self identify without any awareness are narrowing. my thoughts are dissipating, I rarely worry about past or future, but strangely I get these musings from further in the past. Everything is just experience, so if i really think about it as this person, i would say it's cleaning up my negative thought processes through lack of self-identifying all day. So memories are now just harmless musings of the past, instead of shames or regrets. And the same for ventures in the future, more and more just wondrous stories instead of fears and doubts. This is not necessary for me as consciousness, whatever happens, good or bad, i will be aware of it. I can not not be aware of it, it's what i am. But as a brain i suppose having this body in a more relaxed state might be a better experience for it to be aware of? If not, it will be healthy for the body at least, and more relaxing for me.

Hello, Mary Shutan is a spiritual worker aka shaman and has a lot of insights into the spiritual path. I thought I would share with you two of her blog posts found here and here. Enjoy! Check out her blog, she has a lot of really quality insights! Below is an interview she has done on Kundalini awakenings. She has quite an intense presence in her eyes, doesn't she? (I know it's kind of silly to copy and paste what I linked to, but I wanted to be sure it got read. Quality info. Peace!) To begin, I will say that my definition of the word “ego” is simply that it is our identity– the thought of who we are and what the world is like (so, perhaps more based in Eriksonian thought than Freudian if we were to talk Psych 101). We formulate this idea based off of the wounds that we carry. These are either emotions and trauma that have shaped us (been handed down to us), or that we have developed over the course of our lives here. Basically, our ego is our mind, our “I”. It is not something that needs to be “killed”, maimed, or treated like a second-class citizen. We need an identity, and our differences make us beautiful. What we are made up of– all of those forces coming together to shape us, what we have been individually through, as well as our culture, traditions, and personality– mean that we are a unique spark that can bring a lot to the world. Finding that spark, realizing that spark, and moving beyond the wounding that created the framework for current identity (and beliefs about yourself or the world being a certain way) is really the issue. If we can move beyond the mind, beyond the ego, it really isn’t a process of “death”, but a process of expansion. The spiritual awakening process as a whole is really about moving beyond the idea of “I” as the center of the Universe (and that “I” being your current, physical expression of Self), beginning to see others as an extension of self, and moving past the sort of falsehood of Self that has been created out of a tapestry of wounds. This seeing of others as an extension of you is not in a narcissistic way (as in, you do not control others and you have not created them), but a realization that what you notice and are reactive to about other people… the sort of projections that you put on them… how you have “cast” them in your play (cycling through your wounds again and again seeking closure) are unreconciled issues within yourself. Our minds do view this as “death”, because to move beyond our current conditioning– who and what we consider ourselves (and by that, the world) to be is a sort of “death”. Our minds like control. They like rules and procedures and black and white thinking. There is comfort in the known, and we do a lot of things to hold ourselves back from releasing patterns that may prop up a significant portion of our worldview, and to protect ourselves from noticing the inherent falseness of our beliefs and constructs. I discuss some of the most common ways that we can fall into “ego traps” below. Ego Trap #1: Creation of Further Rules on the Spiritual Path I am sure many of you have seen long, admonishing lists about what “high vibration” people do and act like. They don’t watch violent movies, or listen to heavy metal. They don’t eat meat, think bad thoughts, get angry, get emotional, they treat everyone the same (don’t judge or think one person may differ than another– a total misunderstanding of oneness– and more on this later), and other things I am sure I am forgetting. There are further rules and one-on-one meanings created for everything about what cancer “means” spiritually to what a color orb means to how emotions “must” be taken care of, to how spiritual situations “must” be approached. I could go on, but you all likely see the point here. This is a “trap” because although plenty of people on the spiritual path may choose to abstain from alcohol, or eat differently, or not watch certain movies (insert rule here) the spiritual path is a freeing process. Rules are a creation of the mind. They are created out of fear. In many of the situations like the ones I listed above, they are created by minds who have been wounded by separation and feelings of emptiness… which creates a pattern in which people must constantly create the idea that they are superior to one another and prove that sort of superiority. While certainly people understand social constraints and the sort of created rules created by communal minds (and wounds) and act appropriately, the need for such rules and constraints lifts when you go beyond the need for the sort of fear, control, and woundedness that need rules to separate and constrict (rather than free and expand). Ego Trap #2: Belief that you are Further than you are on the Spiritual Path If we believe that we are at the end of our journeys, that we are “beyond” things (the whole wounded “superior” thing again) we don’t have to do any more work. We don’t have to learn, or question, or “die” any more… we do not have to move beyond who we currently are and what we currently believe the world to be. We stop questioning, and accept ourselves and the world as is (complete with whatever unhealed material/wounds that have constructed such things still present). This is such a common ego trap, and can easily lead to “ego awakening”, wherein the person simply stops themselves on their path (you can read more about ego awakenings in my Spiritual Awakening Guide book) I continually hear from people things like: “I don’t need to look within to see why I am reactive to that person, I have been doing work on myself for a few years now!” ” This is how things are (the “truth”)”- said rigidly to others while announcing the rules of #1 ego trap ” I am (enlightened, kundalini, super special shaman, an empath) and that means…” ” I am a hereditary witch/shaman/spiritual something which means that I have so much power.” ” I don’t have a shadow/anything to work on/I don’t have an ego because I am beyond that” ” I don’t judge/have any biases” There are more that I could list, and some of these are paraphrasing (of course) after hearing them pretty much on a daily basis over the last ten years. I will talk about labels in the next section, but the spiritual path is about constant unfolding. This means that if you are reactive to a situation, you always question inwardly what is going on. That you realize that there is always further to go. That no matter what you know, you could know more, you could surrender more, you could understand more. Additionally, if you need to prove something to the external world, it is well worth looking internally to see if there is anything unhealed there. There is a great Margaret Thatcher quote: “Power is like being a lady… if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t” and that sentiment applies. We hold such wounds around power, around knowledge, and if we internally are at peace with such things, we no longer need to perpetuate into the world (or prove) that we are worthwhile, or have power. We simply embody it. Because modern spiritual aspirants rarely have a physical teacher, or one that is willing to reign in their egos a bit, there are quite a lot of people who believe that they are at the end of their path when they are the beginning. There are quite a few people that create their entire spiritual path based off of wounding, and the needs of unhealed parts of themselves. There are also those who believe they are “enlightened” or beyond things so they don’t have to take personal responsibility for themselves, or are creating a mask for others. I occasionally have to offend people when they want to take my advanced courses when they have not learned any fundamentals yet. The fact that those courses wouldn’t be understood or safe for them (or that I am looking out for them and being compassionate in saying “no” to that course at that time for them) is disregarded by those who really need to believe that they are a specific way due to wounding. We constantly believe that we are further than we are, and it is a rare mind that is willing to look at that as a mask, as a way to actually stop development, rather than something that really speaks to any form of truth. I rarely respond to people like this (or will simply agree with people) as cutting through too much illusion and ego either results in an act of protection or retaliation from a mind not ready to hear such things (it is a balancing act, basically, finding out how to appropriately respond to people compassionately while not attempting to perpetuate their illusions at the same time), but there are questions here for those willing to ask it of themselves: If I were not (insert stage of development, belief in static “truth”, enlightened, powerful, etc.) what would I have to work on? If I did have a shadow (emotions, ego, stuff to work on) what would I be working on? What would happen if this belief (about myself or the world, or the nature of my development) were an illusion? Because these beliefs are perpetuated by wounds that can be worked with and healed. It is only a question of if the person is ready and willing to look beyond the mask, beyond the stage of development that they are in, and are willing to hear from themselves (or ideally, another person, as it is difficult to have clarity about ourselves… and these days, unfortunately, many teachers cater to to these illusions rather than move people away from them) what they have to work with and on if the belief wasn’t there. Ego Trap #3: Labels creating separation and perpetuating illusion and wounding Labels in the spiritual realm (such as Empath, Medium, Shaman, Starseed, etc) can be quite important in the initial stages of the journey. There is a need for the Self to realize what and who they are– how they individually filter things, how they interact with the world. There is a lot of peace in finding out you are a “highly sensitive person” or realizing that your tendency to pick up emotions like a sponge is called “Empathy” and specifically you are an “emotional” empath. Realizing labels like this can bring a lot of clarity. It can also bring community, as you can find others online and in person who relate similarly. We still live in a world where only 15- 20 percent of the population is considered in any way, shape, or form “sensitive” (to psychic, the divisions of highly sensitive to highly psychic and what they mean are in my book Managing Psychic Abilities) and being heard by others who have shared your experience, whether it is being an Empath or being a veteran of war, with others who have the direct experience of the same, is really vital in the healing path. But it can also be a bit of a trap, a convenient way to disguise things that need to be healed. I have heard so many times things like: “All men (or women) hate me because I am an Empath” “I need to separate myself from the world because I am a (Sensitive/starseed/Shaman etc)” “Of course I relate that way, I am highly sensitive!” “I am moving to the eighth dimension so I no longer relate to people” “I am from a different world/am ET/am insert thoughts here and that is why I feel so separate” As a spiritual worker I am not here to make light of the wounds that people carry, but even if you are from another world, or are the most highly psychic individual to ever walk the earth, wounds are wounds. What I mean by this is that if you believe that you cannot get into a relationship, it is easier to believe that it is because you are an “empath” than to look at the wounds within that created such beliefs and to heal them. Whether those wounds are actually from being an empathic individual or not doesn’t really matter. It is a constricting belief that is creating pain and difficulty, and it can be healed (or at least looked at). Even if you are from another world, or being highly psychic in this world has created pain, looking at the pain, and the source of that pain, instead of the label, can allow for a lot of healing to occur. It is really a question of if someone is willing to move past a label that they have ascribed behaviors and patterns to as a protective mask… and to look at what lies beneath that mask and do the healing work that would allow for them to thrive as an Empath, or not feel separate as a person on a spiritual path. As a last note (I will do part two relatively soon of this list) I will say that there is a lot of confusion about being highly sensitive, on a significant spiritual path, or psychic, and the need to separate. What I will say about this is that primarily this is a wounding mechanism. If you look at people as “lesser” than you, as something to be avoided, as something that is fueled by pain, that is a wound. It would be something to look at as parts of yourself in the outer world. By this I mean that if you look at someone that you are trying to avoid (or even people in general), is there a part of you that resembles this? By this I mean that we frequently dislike portions of our past selves, and frequently need to reconcile or offer forgiveness for ourselves in the past. Can we offer forgiveness to ourselves in the past for not knowing, for being “unawake”, for being unconscious of their emotions and needs and inner pain? Can we become conscious of the parts of ourselves that are still angry, chaotic, “unawake”, ignorant, violent, abusive (etc.)… are we willing to shine a proverbial light on the parts of ourselves that are still sleeping? I will say that it is natural to be more comfortable with solitude on a spiritual path, to separate from the sort of chaos and din of noise that people create… and to with further and further clarity see people creating chaos for themselves again and again. The difficulty is, of course, them trying to cast you into their “play” of chaos, and you having conscious awareness of when you are doing the same to others, and being willing to work on whatever you find, whatever you are reactive to, in the world. Basically, there is a big difference between separating oneself out of woundedness, and separating oneself because you enjoy solitude. In the latter, you are still part of the whole. When you say “people are like this” you are people. You can interact with anyone with compassion and grace, seeing them simply as they are with no emotional reaction or “hooking” into their projections or wounds. You see everyone and everything as an aspect of you, and work on the concepts, situations, and people that you find yourself holding separate or reactive to. You are part of people, you are a part of the Earth, you are part of the Universe, and all that you react to is something unhealed within yourself. The question is, of course, if you are willing to approach things this way… and to question with willingness to heal and move beyond the barriers and constrictions that you have been given, as well as have erected for yourself. There are many ego traps that I could go over here, and some I will not talk about because I talk about them quite frequently in other blogs. The spiritual path is about becoming whole– about expressing compassion and love for ourselves (and every aspect of ourselves). Our darkness is not “bad” and does not need to be turned into “light”, we do not need to set up rules for fear or anger to make them more palatable to ourselves or provide the illusion that we are in control of them, and without truly engaging with the primal aspects of ourselves, and aligning with their power and wisdom, we cannot come into our full capacity and power as human beings. The spiritual path requires a certain amount of discipline and education, and I do think that one of the greatest ego traps is playing into the mentality that this sort of thing is not needed, thus fueling the outer societal thoughts about how spiritual sorts are ignorant or delusional. It is rare that people are willing to engage in the sort of discipline and move beyond the easy or one-step fix-it popularized spirituality that is ultimately illusory and perpetuates cultural myths about spirituality and the direct spiritual path being “inferior” or even laughable to a society still steeped in materialism, thus creating an outer split between material and spiritual “consciousness”, but I will end my soapboxing (about this at least) and move on with the rest of the list. I do realize that these are difficult questions to ask of oneself, but the sort of restrictions and blockages that are carried within (and the sort of “traps” they create) can be realized and moved through, allowing movement towards more freedom and wholeness on the spiritual path overall. The question, of course, is if we are willing and ready to sit with difficult questions and realizations and openly and honestly ask ourselves such things… and be willing to hear, openly and honestly, the answers. Ego Trap #4: Not taking Personal Responsibility for Ourselves As long as any part of us is fractured, or separated from itself, we will find such aspects in the outer world. In an unawakened state, we blindly and chaotically react to the world around us, living from the wounds and beliefs created from those wounds. The spiritual path is really one of radical responsibility, one in which we become more adult. When we are wounded or traumatized, a part of us becomes frozen in that state. We may have had many experiences like this (as well as trauma that was passed down to us from varying sources), and most people are in a childlike state, living from their wounds and constantly re-creating their wounds in the outer world in an effort to heal them. While the spiritual path is one of deep questioning (at times which is uncomfortable), temporary chaos, dissolution of ideas and the destablization that happens as a result of coming into a state of greater wholeness… as a whole, the spiritual path should make one more “adult”, more centered, grounded, and with less baggage. If this is not happening, it is something to question. If we are willing to take any sort of responsibility for ourselves, we can begin to realize that we constantly project our wounds onto others. What we see in others is a reflection of what is unhealed within us. Our reactions to others are rarely coming from a current, adult state– they are coming from engaging in a scenario, or with an emotion, that is “looped”– that part of ourselves, unhealed, that is frozen in time. So there are some questions here that can be asked to move past this: What do I see in this person that is a reflection of myself? What am I projecting onto this situation or person? What age is this response from? (when reacting to a situation or person… as in, is it your current, adult self, or might it be a surly teenager, a know-it-all twenty-something, an abused child) Am I finding an outlet for my internal emotions and pain in the external world? For that last question there is a realization that when we have a stockpile of anger within, we will always find things (or people) to fixate that anger on. Same with anxiety, or fear, or grief. If we believe that the world, or the people in it, are always out to victimize us, we will create that scenario again and again until we heal whatever is within that caused that belief to be created. We can find external ways in which to validate and externalize our emotions into the physical world. If we sit with our emotions long enough, we can understand that our inner pain is always looking for an outlet, and we can always find someone or something to make us angry, cause us to grieve or despair, someone to recreate our issues with our mother, or father with. The question of what am I really angry (fearful, anxious) about always comes into play here… because chances are that it is not your current, adult self that is feeling this way. I will say as an aside that this world is chaotic, and noisy, and filled with wounded people who do wounded things. It is wonderful to feel emotions, to get angry at your boss, or to feel grief at others looking to simply take and wound in their pain and separation. We should feel emotions that are from the present moment, and allow ourselves to deeply feel them and use them appropriately. But there is a question of if what we are feeling is current and appropriate for the situation. This distinction can only be had if we are willing to take personal responsibility and assess how we may be projecting our inner wounds onto others, and the world. There is also the question of if you are using your anger as a creative, vital, flowing “get stuff done” sort of force of action (as it can be in its healed state) or if you are simply shoving it down or stockpiling it for later because you do not wish to feel it, or do not have the skills to feel it (or the compassion and/or wholeness towards the emotion to recognize it as a valuable source of wisdom). Ego Trap #5: Not recognizing the Persecutor- Selfishness and Lack of Heart When we are in pain, it is nearly impossible to see outside of ourselves. It is important in times of personal chaos to focus on the Self. But for many the spiritual path may be a way to be the eternal victim– always seeing the world and the people in it as looking to take, victimize, or harm us. Because we have experienced harm in the past, we have closed our hearts in our need to protect ourselves. The difficulty with this is that with a closed heart, we cannot empathize with others. We cannot look beyond our own fleeting and often insignificant needs, our own trauma, our own beliefs. The great irony here is that we have closed ourselves off so we cannot be hurt again, but in doing so, we hurt or are not available to others. On the spiritual path it is incredibly important to reconcile and heal all of those hurts– all of the pain, difficulty, and integration of the parts of ourselves that have separated, frozen in time, and are “looping” again and again. But it takes a soul of great courage to reconcile the sort of selfishness that causes for one to take, to not give, and to move beyond the mindset of the Self being the protagonist, or the center of the Universe, on the spiritual path. The end result of a spiritual path is always one of giving. It is about moving beyond those wounded pieces and then about seeing how you can be of service to others. The spiritual path is not about you, basically. It is about you moving beyond your “I”, your ego, to the point that you can be a adult, mature presence of strength, wisdom, and stillness in a world that could really use those sorts of people. Realizing that we have been selfish, self-centered, and do not consider others is a difficult thing to awaken to. But it is a huge ego trap for people, and realizing how we interact with people, what we ask for others, and if it comes from a place of “taking”, or a place of reciprocity is the first step. Do we express gratitude when others offer themselves to us? In our pain and self-interest, we naturally assume that the world and people in it are going to simply offer themselves to us. When we expand beyond our own selfishness, we realize not only that we can take personal responsibility for ourselves, but that what we ma be asking of others and of the Earth may not be of right relationship. Moving beyond “right relationship” and basic reciprocity (considering what we offer to someone or something vs. what we take) is the ability to be in a heart-centered place. This does not mean lack of boundaries, or thinking everyone is the “same” with equal value… it means that you can, with compassion, realize that someone is lashing out at you because they are not in a place to take personal responsibility for their pain, and you can decide to not engage in recreating their “loop” or trauma, and can also express compassion towards the parts of yourself that may have at one time resembled or resonate with such pain. Ego Trap #6: Seeking Bliss and Highs– Spiritual Escapism Some of the most amazing experiences can be had on the spiritual path– the sort of bliss and expansion that contact with divinity can create is addictive. The moments of bliss can help for those going through difficult spiritual experiences to have a proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel” and see them through some incredibly rough patches on the spiritual path. There are also those who seek out drugs, spiritually vacation, attend endless retreats, or create imaginary worlds for themselves in which they are a goddess, god, or demi-god in order to move away from their daily lives, and to escape the pain and difficulty of being human. If we are seeking spirituality because we are unhappy about our lives, the solution is to use spirituality, or to work with a spiritual path, to heal that. Our spiritual existence is not separate from our physical existence, and if we are disassociated, disembodied, unhappy, or constantly seeking the next high on the spiritual path, that indicates that something within needs to be healed. Ego Trap #7: Not Reconciling Race, Class, and Privilege We tend to not want to look at how we may have had privilege in our lives, about how what country we live in, what race or culture we are from, or what class of society we are in affords certain privileges. We tend to largely surround ourselves with people with the same backgrounds, the same race, class, and ideas as ourselves. We also tend to read things that we agree with (and the same shows and books over and over again, just with different names on the cover) to shelter ourselves from new ideas, contrasting ideas, or the reality of our sheltering. In our spiritual seeking, we may not realize that we are enacting history and the same issues of “taking” that colonization created. Without reconciliation that we are participating in the same “loop” that our ancestors did, just in a different way… without reconciling that we are ignoring that such a history or loop exists, we cannot fully move beyond and heal the internal judgment, persecution, and dominant beliefs that have been passed down to us by society, by our family or ancestry, or by world history at large. All of us, no matter race, religion, spiritual path, class, or caste, have judgment or seek to separate from others in some fashion. Recognizing and being willing to admit our own biases is a difficult thing to ask, but the effects of this are not only personal wholeness, but the realization that our differences make us beautiful. Cheesy sentiment, I realize, but if you consider that the spiritual path is one of relational changes– meaning gradually understanding that your neighbor, your community, the world, the Earth, and the cosmos are all part of you… and being willing to see what judgments, hatred, divisions, persecutions, and unwillingness there is to engage with some of those parts, and that inner hatred, racism (etc) that you have unreconciled within will give way to wholeness (and the ability in the outer world to engage with more than just people that look, act, and think exactly like you). The solution to this is to realize that your mind/ego wants sameness. It doesn’t want to reconcile disparate ideas. So read books by authors totally different than you, read about religions and spiritual paths from people living them, and meet, interact, and most of all listen to the stories, experiences, and pain of others. We have a tendency to dismiss pain that we have not experienced directly, to dismiss the experiences or see them as invalid if they are not the same “truth” as our own. Actively seek to expand and open your mind to people, places, and ideas that you do not agree with, and see if you can feel compassion or understand how others who think, believe, or have experienced differently than you, as it is the key to your own expansion. Ego Trap #8: Not realizing our own Beauty and Worth One of the funniest things on the spiritual path is that you get to a certain point that you realize that you are restricting yourself not out of some deep, dark, childhood wounds (or ancestral, etc) but because there is a mechanism within you that doesn’t believe that you can move beyond a certain point on the spiritual path Who are you to feel power? Who are you to feel joy when others are struggling with so much? Who are you to be great or worthwhile or succeed or awaken? Who are we to feel divinity or oneness or grounded or heart-centered? Who are you to heal? Who are you to have a job that you love, to know what you are here to do? Who are you to know who you are on the deepest levels? Who are you to move beyond the blind pain and reactivity that the world and the people in it engage in? Who are you to be whole? We struggle so much with healing the parts of ourselves that are broken, frozen, disassociated and afraid. We come up with realities, and like a six year old putting on a super-hero cape, we pretend to be powerful and the “chosen one”. We pretend to be happier than we are, more complete than we are, superior to one another. All of this is a perpetuated outer reality created by inner pain and trauma. When we come to states that we have not felt before, we feel uncomfortable with the unknown, of treading new territory. Of experiencing what we have not before, and what sort of changes that will create. We fear our own greatness, what we could be if we really allowed ourselves to heal and become… instead of being a series of masks and illusions covering up our pain. We fear our authentic, powerful selves. One of our primal wounds is that of separation, and we fear really and truly being connected. Connected to ourselves authentically, connected to divinity. We fear opening our hearts, because in our woundedness we have closed them and have created protections around them. When that protection is in place, we cannot truly love one another. We are closed off, and are constantly looking at the world as if it were looking to wound us, to take from us. Opening this center requires moving beyond our various trauma and pain, but it also requires for us to move beyond the idea that we are worthless. That we deserve to be happy, that we deserve to be connected, that we deserve to be open and embodied and authentic in a world that is filled with people who are not. The thing is, of course, that if many people are willing to see their own immense worth, without the cages and masks and illusions, that it would create a revolution. One person can be a catalyst, a way to show others how to do the same. And that person could be you.

@Shiva what do you do after 'locking' onto your awareness? Because in my experience nothing happens, you just stay ultra sober. But you don't bliss out like a buddha.

I listen to this song when working out. I love the lyrics. This song helps me get through tough times during deep work and deliberate practice This last song made me cry because of its pure beauty. Its a version of Flim by Aphex Twin but slowed down to 66% speed the way he originally intended it to be played. It reminds me of all of the happy moments I've had with people I love but that I'll probably never see again or have again. Its this mixture of pure peace and bliss and just the smallest hint of mourning.

Yup, I've found that the more free and capable I become, the more responsible I feel for the world around me. When you expand, your zone of responsibility also expands naturally creating a sense of generosity and care to go along with that abundance. You want everyone and everything around you to feel this health and freedom, this joy and you get this inexhaustible well of happiness that comes from sharing in the joy of others on that road to health and happiness. In a way you naturally grow into becoming a world yourself. A world that contains everyone inside you in the same way the outer world contains you and everyone else inside it. While still having a distinct, individual core or flavored pattern. Such a position then naturally galvanizes a person to actually go out and work to make things better. Sharing and enlarging that goldilocks zone of health, freedom, and happiness while also protecting and nurturing that zone from corruption. You don't just sit there in a cave all isolated from people, trying to protect your bliss, while lacking the resiliency to wade in and be touched by the stress and suffering of others. Fuck... I am more sensitive to that suffering than ever before. It feels like my heart is being ripped out because the pain of others hurts so much, but I love and appreciate that pain. I gladly drink as much from that cup as I can because it softens my heart and brings me closer to both the beauty and fragility of humanity. Awesome post man and great questions!!! For me it goes back to that nuanced goldilocks zone of balance and harmony. You differentiate comfort so you can have comfort when you rest, but not so much comfort that you let drop things that are precious into that numbness and over certainty. You adapt with tension so what was uncomfortable becomes effortless and comfortable, but still dynamic and close to that edge of higher intensity tension that you can willfully move into when your are working and expanding rather than resting. This differentiates stability so you can choose between static atrophy and dynamic, ever expanding, but smooth stability and multi-dimensionality. And also when you get on track and find a "truer" way of seeing the world, you don't let that perspective fall into absolutes, because you stay connected to the possibility for more additions and new information, that expands and changes your view, while still being congruent with the foundation you're building upon. It's like a magnet with a piece of metal. When their close you can feel them tugging on each other to attach and the close they are, the more intense that pull. But, when they attach that pull, that tension expression of magnetism ceases. Growth comes from always keeping a bit of tension alive and never fully or absolutely attaching to one's current view of reality. You handle the tension and stay open to more. The whole doubting thing is a very complex topic to be honest. It changes as we change and grow, because it's modulated by many different capabilities. I've got around 13 different dynamic elements that I use to track all that. But anyways, an example of how it's modulated is with our rapport with pride and humility. I wrote the below a year or so ago and it kind of shows an example of what I'm talking about. What's awesome is this small shift in harmony and health between these two facets [of pride and humility] not only enhances my rapport, but also creates a cascade through my other capabilities. I can trust my own feelings more and internalize them deeper because my pride doesn't shroud them and my humility doesn't doubt them in the improper contexts. I can feel both my authentic pleasure and pain longer, because my past imbalance is no longer there to cut them off "mid-breath" with some form of invalidation. Both of these then also contribute over time to building a better me, with higher quality feelings and experiences changing my story and enhancing my potential as well as my reflections on my past and the beliefs tied to them.

@Dodoster Your ego is bleeding and it deserves nothing but unconditional love. All is one. I am awareness. I am nobody. I don't exist. Cool points bruh. How have you been feeling lately? Got any of that eternal bliss yet? The real work is coming into emotional wholeness through letting go of your attachments and drowning your ego in so much love, because it deserves it. Ego is the light in it's most dormant form. (Unconsciousness is a better word for it). And it will not set you free, until you give it the love it wants. ` Why do you think you say things such as "I dont think I will ever be enlightened." It is because your innerchild, the wisdom within you, the guardian to your bliss fucking knows. And it knows that if you treat it, or if you treat yourself, the way you do, you will be caught up in a love-less viscious circle of judgement and denial. In the name of love, and in the name of you, you are love, so let the heaven descend onto your being.

The thing is if you get enlightened you would not care about your career that much, and working at Walmart would be top bliss for you

And brutal honesty with your present moment experience - holding the experiencer, the subject and not attaching to the forms - forms include sensations, thoughts, emotions etc. Anything in the realm of the changeful. As long as your attention is on any object, the false I is there. "Oh I am experiencing bliss, I must be enlightened etc etc" The mind will say "just being" as if it's something it can do. No, the truth is you always are that. There can be 10000 waves in your awareness that are always doing doing doing, but you are not any of them. If you isolate your current sense of subject, of self, it will slowly start to dissolve and open up the space for truth to shine through.

Savanna scatters and the seabird sings So why should we fear what travel brings? What were we hoping to get out of this? Some kind of momentary bliss? I waited for something, but something died So I waited for nothing, and nothing arrived It's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend It's our darkest blackout, it's our final end My dear sweet nothing, let's start anew From here on in, it's just me and you I waited for something, but something died So I waited for nothing, and nothing arrived Well I guess it's over, I guess it's begun It's a losers' table, but we've already won It's a funny battle, it's a constant game I guess I was busy, when nothing came I guess I was busy (when nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when nothing arrived) I guess I was busy I waited for something, but something died So I waited for nothing, and nothing arrived I waited for something, but something died So I waited for nothing, and nothing arrived nothing arrived Great topic by the way! I heard this song before but recently I heard it again and it really clicked with me.

I don't know what exactly he said, but there are different facets and qualities that "awakenings" can take. A good teacher or certain practices can point you in a certain direction. Sat: "Mountain of peace", Beingness, more a physical quality, "enlightenment on the level of gut" Chit: "enlightnement on the level of mind", spacious, empty, consciousness, vastness Ananda: "enlightenment on the level of heart", love, bliss, intimacy These are the main qualities that an awakening beyond ego can take. It is on the "I am"-level. True enlightenment goes beyond that and includes all of it. So, a good teacher point you directly at certain of these qualities, you can get a taste even if you are not enlightened. And certain teachers / practises are concerned mainly with one quality.

That's what some people here will tell you, but I personally find that line of thought to be bullshit and the product of extremism. There are a lot of escapists here, people who don't want to deal with their responsibilities, their limitations, their flaws, their challenges, their opportunities for growth, their false sense of superiority, their false sense of inferiority, their vulnerabilities etc. They want to be gods, invulnerable, living in a state of permanent ease and bliss. They don't want to put in effort and be vulnerable and build things. The very clear reality is, each one of us is a self-contained environment, with self-contained issues that need to be handled and harmonized. This self-containment does not mean isolation or separation, no instead it means distinction and difference WHILE STILL BEING CONNECTED AND A PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER. We are both those self-contained environments and part of the larger self-contained environment that is a family or group, and a larger one that is a country, and a larger one that is humanity, and a larger one that is the planet, and a larger one that is the universe, and the largest of them all that is Life. It's a nested principle. Each nest is connected to a larger one and each nest requires time and consideration. None should be demonized or discarded as fake. They all matter. Each one superimposed on top of each other. Why choose to care about only one, when you can care about it all? Of course people will disagree with this, but in order for them to do so, they would have to discard or relinquish their consideration and responsibility for one or more of those nests, which again is bullshit, escapist, lazy, and selfish. So many of these no-self people are egotistical as fuck, to be honest with you. Their like little kids who think the whole universe revolves around them and they create it... yet they can't create a single damn thing in the physical world and instead escape to the safest and most secluded places they can find while other people take on the responsibility of life. All the while proclaiming how loving and enlightened they are. If you just fucking sit there all day, your love doesn't have shit behind it. No effort, no meaning, no actions to actually make things better and more harmonious. You have to touch the world, involve yourself in it, to be a difference.

Why would one should aim for bliss?

@Annetta I felt awesome. For like an hour haha. Then the labour of coming into that state began. But it kicked so many doors right open... painfully so in the short term, but in those doors paths that lead directly to bliss.

Shaivism (Origin: India – Started: At least 2000 years BCE) Shaivism theology ranges from Shiva being the creator, preserver, destroyer to being the same as the Atman (self, soul) within oneself and every living being […] It is the Hindu tradition that most accepts ascetic life and emphasizes yoga, and like other Hindu traditions encourages an individual to discover and be one with Shiva within. God (Shiva) is within man, God is within every being, God is present everywhere in the world including all non-living beings, and there is no spiritual difference between life, matter, man and God. Zoroastrianism (Origin: India/Iran – Started : 2000 years BCE) There is only one God, the singularly creative and sustaining force of the Universe. In Zoroastrianism, Ahura Mazda is the beginning and the end, the creator of everything that can and cannot be seen, the Eternal, the Pure and the only Truth. Zoroastrianism's divinity covers both being and mind as immanent entities, it is better described as a belief in an immanent self-creating universe with consciousness as its special attribute. In Zoroastrianism, the purpose in life is to "be among those who renew the world...to make the world progress towards perfection". Its basic maxims include: Humata, Hukhta, Huvarshta, which mean: Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds. There is only one path and that is the path of Truth. Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, and then all beneficial rewards will come to you also. Jainism (Origin: India – Started: At least to the 6th century BCE) Jain texts reject the idea of a creator or destroyer God and postulate an eternal universe. Jainism has been described as a transtheistic religion, as it does not teach the dependency on any supreme being for enlightenment. The tirthankara is a guide and teacher who points the way to enlightenment, but the struggle for enlightenment is one's own. Jain texts propound that the universe was never created, nor will it ever cease to exist. It is independent and self-sufficient, and does not require any superior power to govern it. According to Jain belief, souls, intrinsically pure, possess the qualities of infinite knowledge, infinite perception, infinite bliss, and infinite energy in their ideal state. In reality, however, these qualities are found to be obstructed due to the soul's association with karmic matter. The ultimate goal in Jainism is the realization of reality For Jains, non-absolutism means maintaining open-mindedness. This includes the recognition of all perspectives and a humble respect for differences in beliefs. Jainism encourages its adherents to consider the views and beliefs of their rivals and opposing parties, including other religions. Buddhism (Origin : India – Started : Between the 6th and 4th centuries BCE) Early Buddhist canonical texts and early biographies of Buddha state that Gautama studied under Vedic teachers [...] learning meditation and ancient philosophies, particularly the concept of "nothingness, emptiness" from the former, and "what is neither seen nor unseen" from the latter. According to Buddhism there ultimately is no such thing as a self in any being or any essence in any thing. The nirvana state has been described in Buddhist texts partly in a manner similar to other Indian religions, as the state of complete liberation, enlightenment, highest happiness, bliss, fearlessness, freedom, permanence, non-dependent origination, unfathomable, indescribable. It has also been described in part differently, as a state of spiritual release marked by "emptiness" and realization of non-Self. This insight in the Mahayana tradition, states Shōhei Ichimura, has been the "insight of non-duality or the absence of reality in all things". Nirvana In the Buddhist context, nirvana refers to realization of non-self and emptiness, marking the end of rebirth by stilling the fires that keep the process of rebirth going. Bodhi (Enlightenment) It is the mind's natural and pure state, where no distinction is being made between a perceiving subject and perceived objects. Taoism (Origin : Chinese – Started: At least to the 4th century BCE) The Tao is a fundamental idea in most Chinese philosophical schools; in Taoism, however, it denotes the principle that is both the source, pattern and substance of everything that exists. Tao literally means [...] "the One, which is natural, spontaneous, eternal, nameless, and indescribable. It is at once the beginning of all things and the way in which all things pursue their course." It has variously been denoted as the "flow of the universe" […] The Tao also is something that individuals can find immanent in themselves. Human beings are seen as a microcosm of the universe […] As a consequence, it is believed that deeper understanding of the universe can be achieved by understanding oneself. Taoism rejects the Confucianist emphasis on rituals, hierarchical social order, and conventional morality, and favors naturalness, spontaneity, and individualism instead. Taoist ethics vary depending on the particular school, but in general tend to emphasize wu wei (effortless action), "naturalness", simplicity, spontaneity, and the Three Treasures: 慈 "compassion", 儉 "frugality", and 不敢為天下先 "humility" Neoplatonism (Origin: Athens – Started : 3rd century BCE) The work of Neoplatonic philosophy involved describing the derivation of the whole of reality from a single principle, "the One." Source, Absolute, or One is what all things spring from According to Plotinus, The One is not a conscious god with intent nor a godhead nor a conditioned existing entity of any kind, rather a requisite principle of totality which is also the source of ultimate wisdom. One must become "God" (henosis). This is reached through contemplation of the primeval Being, the One — in other words, through an ecstatic approach to it. Thought cannot attain to this, for thought reaches only to the nous, and it itself is a kind of motion. It is only in a state of perfect passivity and repose that the soul can recognise and touch the primaeval Being. Beginning with the contemplation of corporeal things in their multiplicity and harmony, it then retires upon itself and withdraws into the depths of its own being, rising thence to the nous, the world of ideas. But, even there, it does not find the Highest, the One; it still hears a voice saying, "not we have made ourselves". The last stage is reached when, in the highest tension and concentration, beholding in silence and utter forgetfulness of all things, it is able, as it were, to lose itself. Then it sees God, the foundation of life, the source of being, the origin of all good, the root of the soul. In that moment, it enjoys the highest indescribable bliss; it is, as it were, swallowed up by divinity, bathed in the light of eternity. Gnosticism (Origin : Jewish – Started : 1st century CE) In many Gnostic systems (and heresiologies), God is known as the Monad, the One. The Sethian hidden transcendent God is, by contrast, defined through negative theology: he is immovable, invisible, intangible, ineffable; commonly, "he" is seen as being hermaphroditic, a potent symbol for being, as it were, "all-containing". Christian Mysticism (Origin : Jewish – Started : 2nd century CE) Bernard McGinn defines Christian mysticism as: [T]hat part, or element, of Christian belief and practice that concerns the preparation for, the consciousness of, and the effect of [...] a direct and transformative presence of God. ...new ways of knowing and loving based on states of awareness in which God becomes present in our inner acts. Religion is based on a feeling of the infinite. Mysticism thus becomes seen as a personal matter of cultivating inner states of tranquility and equanimity "one of the immortal spirits waiting to introduce the reader to his own unique and intense experience of reality" The path of illumination, has to do with the activity of the Holy Spirit enlightening the mind, giving insights into truths not only explicit in scripture and the rest of the Christian tradition, but also those implicit in nature, not in the scientific sense, but rather in terms of an illumination of the "depth" aspects of reality and natural happenings, such that the working of God is perceived in all that one experiences. The awakening, the stage in which one begins to have some consciousness of absolute or divine reality. Dzogchen (Origin: Tibetan – Started: 8th century CE) Rigpa is a central concept in Dzogchen. It is "reflexively self-aware primordial wisdom,"which is self-reflexively aware of itself as unbounded wholeness. "In Gelug, the conscious experience is some level of blissful awareness of voidness." The Dzogchen meditation practices also include a series of exercises known as Semdzin (sems dzin), which literally means "to hold the mind" or "to fix mind." The practice of Trekchö […] In this practice one first identifies, and then sustains recognition of, one's own innately pure, empty awareness. Insight leads to nyamshag, "being present in the state of clarity and emptiness". Sufism (Origin : Islam – Started : 9th century CE) Haqiqa (which means « ultimate truth ») In Universal Sufism, Haqiqat is the "phase" in which the central ongoing question/concern of the seeker is subsistent (as opposed to transient) reality. The life of the seeker becomes a fathoming device in which what is timeless, formless, weightless etc, is recognized and valued above all. Entering into marifat in Universal Sufism, the seeker no longer asserts or defines anything […] Or better said, all conversation topics are of equal interest. The seeker's life is then, itself, revelation. Fakir In mystical usage, the word fakir refers to man's spiritual need for God, who alone is self-sufficient. "Faqir attains eternity by dissolving himself in oneness of Allah. He, when, eliminates his-self from other than Allah, his soul reaches to divinity." They were known as performers 'mad' in a worshiping trance of joy - transcending above both good and bad. [...] They believe the soul that lives in all human bodies is God. Kabbalah (Origin : Jewish – Started: 12th century CE) Kabbalah is a set of esoteric teachings meant to explain the relationship between an unchanging, eternal, and mysterious Ein Sof (infinity) and the mortal and finite universe (God's creation). The nature of the divine prompted kabbalists to envision two aspects to God: (a) God in essence, absolutely transcendent, unknowable, limitless Divine simplicity, and (b) God in manifestation, the revealed persona of God through which he creates and sustains and relates to mankind. Kabbalists speak of the first as Ein/Ayn Sof (אין סוף "the infinite/endless", literally "that which has no limits"). God's existence is higher than anything that this world can express, yet he includes all things of this world within his Divine reality in perfect unity, so that the Creation effected no change in him at all. Compassionate actions are often impossible without faith (Emunah), meaning to trust that God always supports compassionate actions even when God seems hidden. Ultimately, it is necessary to show compassion toward oneself too in order to share compassion toward others. Sikhism (Origin : India – Started : 15th century CE) Sikhism rejects claims that any particular religious tradition has a monopoly on Absolute Truth. Guru Nanak taught that living an "active, creative, and practical life" of "truthfulness, fidelity, self-control and purity" is above the metaphysical truth In Sikhism, the concept of "God" is Vāhigurū—is shapeless, timeless, and invisible "God" is omnipresent and infinite with power over everything "There is but one all-pervading spirit, and truth is its name! It exists in all creation; it does not fear; it does not hate; it is timeless and universal and self-existent, You will come to know it through seeking knowledge and learning! (meditation and self-inquiry)" Once truth starts to shine in a person's heart, the essence of current and past holy books of all religions is understood by the person. The goal of man, taught the Sikh Gurus, is to end all dualities of "self and other, I and not-I", attain the "attendant balance of separation-fusion, self-other, action-inaction, attachment-detachment, in the course of daily life". Transcendantalism (Origin: USA – Started: Early 19th century CE) Transcendentalists also believe that all people possess a piece of the "Over-soul" (God). Because the Over-soul is one, this unites all people as one being. Neo-Advaita (Origin : USA – Started : Mid 20th century CE) The basic practice of neo-Advaita is self-inquiry, via the question "Who am I?", or simply the direct recognition of the non-existence of the "I" or "ego." This recognition is taken to be equal to the Advaita Vedanta recognition of the identity of Atman and Brahman, or the recognition of the "Formless Self." Christian Science (Origin: England – Started: 19th century CE) In particular, adherents subscribe to a radical form of philosophical idealism, believing that reality is purely spiritual and the material world an illusion. Eddy saw humanity as an "idea of Mind" that is "perfect, eternal, unlimited, and reflects the divine," according to Bryan Wilson; what she called "mortal man" is simply humanity's distorted view of itself. Eddy viewed God not as a person, but as "All-in-all." "for God is one, Time is one, Individuality is one, and may be one of a series, one of many, as an individual man, individual horse; whereas God is one, not one of a series, but one alone and without an equal." The Infinite Way (Origin : US – Started : 20th century) The Infinite Way reveals the nature of God to be one infinite power, intelligence, and love; the nature of the individual being to be one with God's qualities and character, expressed in infinite forms and variety; and the nature of the discords of this world to be a misconception of God's expression of Himself in His universe." "'The Infinite Way' is not a religion... but an experience in spiritual living. New Age (Origin: Western countries – Started: Late 20th century) This intentional vagueness as to the nature of divinity also reflects the New Age idea that divinity cannot be comprehended by the human mind or language. There are nevertheless a number of traits that are repeatedly associated with divinity in New Age literature, the first of which is the idea that it is holistic, thus frequently being described with such terms as an "Ocean of Oneness", "Infinite Spirit", "Primal Stream", "One Essence", and "Universal Principle".A second common trait is the characterisation of divinity as "Mind", "Consciousness", and "Intelligence", while a third is the description of divinity as a form of "energy". A fourth trait is the characterisation of divinity as a "life force", the essence of which is creativity, while a fifth is the concept that divinity consists of love. The New Age worldview emphasises holism and the idea that everything in existence is intricately connected as part of a single whole, in doing so rejecting both the dualism of Judeo-Christian thought and the reductionism of Cartesian science. "Higher Self" which is a part of the human but which connects with the divine essence of the universe, and which can advise the human mind through intuition. Actualized.org (Origin: But Leo ... - Started: HEYYYYYYYYYYY)

@Loreena, in my opinion it does to a certain degree. Before I started working in my profession I had just enough money to live my student life. Then, when I began working I got enough money to not care any more how much I spent on my groceries, whether I can go the bar with my friends this weekend, whether I can share a beautiful dinner with a woman and take her out. And this gives at least me some kind of freedom. It supports the life that I want to live, so it's a basis in a sense. However, it won't make you happy in the way you want to be happy. When you share a deep conversation with a friend, when you are in love, when you have a great meditation or an enlightenment experience you tap into a kind of bliss that is so beautiful and spontaneous that you'll instantly recognize that everything material you can possess cannot compete with that.

@Socrates If you find your life purpose, that will serve as the backbone for much of your education guidance. But also nonduality, etc is sure to come in handy no matter where you go. Just following your curiosity and bliss is also a good way to go. Study what you LOVE. Yes, more great books coming.

If you meditate, love will follow; if you love, meditation will follow. Meditation is easier, love is difficult. Meditation means living with oneself, forgetting the other completely – it is a less difficult dimension than love. Love and meditation are two aspects of the same coin; if you have gained control of the one aspect, the other follows. A glimpse of bliss, love, means you had come close. But glimpses are bound to be lost. Meditation can, at the most, give only a glimpse. But do not stop there; do not get stuck looking for that same glimpse again and again. Then one has to go ahead.

@Annetta @Toby We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Aloneness is our very nature, but we are not aware of it. Because we are not aware of it, we remain strangers to ourselves, and instead of seeing our aloneness as a tremendous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, at-easeness with existence, we misunderstand it as loneliness. Loneliness is a misunderstood aloneness. Once you misunderstand your aloneness as loneliness, the whole context changes. Aloneness has a beauty and grandeur, a positivity; loneliness is poor, negative, dark, dismal. Everybody is running away from loneliness. It is like a wound; it hurts. To escape from it, the only way is to be in a crowd, to become part of a society, to have friends, to create a family, to have husbands and wives, to have children. In this crowd, the basic effort is that you will be able to forget your loneliness. But nobody has ever succeeded in forgetting it. That which is natural to you, you can try to ignore -- but you cannot forget it; it will assert again and again. And the problem becomes more complex because you have never seen it as it is; you have taken it for granted that you are born lonely. The dictionary meaning is the same; that shows the mind of the people who create dictionaries. They don't understand at all the vast difference between loneliness and aloneness. Loneliness is a gap. Something is missing, something is needed to fill it, and nothing can ever fill it because it is a misunderstanding in the first place. As you grow older, the gap also grows bigger. People are so afraid to be by themselves that they do any kind of stupid thing. I have seen people playing cards alone; the other party is not there. They have invented games in which the same person plays cards from both sides. Somehow one wants to remain engaged. That engagement may be with people, may be with work.... There are workaholics; they are afraid when the weekend comes close -- what are they going to do? And if they don't do anything, they are left to themselves, and that is the most painful experience. People are playing cards, chess; people are watching television for hours. People are listening to the radio... just to avoid themselves. For all these activities, the only reason is -- not to be left alone; it is very fearful. And this idea is taken from others. Those who have known aloneness say something absolutely different. They say there is nothing more beautiful, more peaceful, more joyful than being alone. But you listen to the crowd. Millions of people agree that to be left to oneself is the worst experience in life; it is hell. First basic thing is to know your aloneness absolutely. This escape from yourself you have learned from the crowd. Because everybody is escaping, you start escaping. Every child is born in a crowd and starts imitating people; what others are doing, he starts doing. He falls into the same miserable situations as others are in, and he starts thinking that this is what life is all about. And he has missed life completely.

@Dingus The trap is that many seekers use the "illusion" as a means of escape, with hope that they can rest in non-duality for the rest of their life and then pass away. 1. This will make enlightenment impossible. 2. If there iss suffering created within the illusion, then surely bliss can be created as well!

I've been thinking about this for quite awhile and it's been holding me back in my ability to find meaning and inspiration in life. I mean if reality is meaningless and there is no good or evil, then how can the so-called "positive" emotions like passion, bliss, joy etc. be actually positive, are they just an illusion? The same goes for negative emotions...

@username IN a way yeah. At the same time mindfulness is just a very very beginning stage of this. You gotta kinda notice the nervous system. But then it becomes redundant. What is really important is love! The quickest path to enlightenment (ok im not enlightened so this is a total pretense) is loving yourself relentlessly. Love yourself and watch every emotion transform into goodness. And soon enough, this goodness will start matching the bliss of existence. And as those 2 vibrations get aligned, you merge with your infinite nature.

@electroBeam Awareness is always there, it is you, its the presence. There is nothing behind YOU and IT because YOU are IT. Always have been. EGO = overstimulated nervous system You can imagine awareness being this vast sea of bliss and presence. At the same time there is this little "ball of emotions and thoughts and sensations" screaming HEEY YO LOOK AT ME! HERE! THERE'S LOADS OF SHIT GOING ON! HEY! ME! MMEEEE!! LALALAL DADADADADAD MEE MEE MEMEM MEE TOODLE DOODLE POOPY DOO So awareness is like. WOaaah. Look! There is so much interesting shit going on!!!!! Emotions, thoughts, sensations.... SO COOL! Let me identify with that so I can get to know it better! So you go and you calm down the nervous system. That is why I love shadow-work. Because until you do enough of clearing out your negative beliefs, and your emotions and recations calm down, you, as a body/mind complex will literally stop being that interesting to awareness, and you will in a sense explode into open space realizing that you have never been that interesting ball of attention seeking sensations!

Every seeker is in this situation: you don't know what you are seeking, you don't know what the goal is, you don't know where you are going, why you are going. But if he has not escaped, not turned his back and run about in the world, he will laugh and smile, because out of this night such a beautiful morning. We are too much attached to the body, it seems like death; because we think the body is our life, we think it is terrible. And this is one of the greatest preparations for death. One day death will come: before it comes, you will be ready, you will be ready to die! Out of this troubled state, out of this hell and fear and anguish , you will find absolute bliss.

You made me laugh out loud! I'm fascinated however, by the possibilities with mocro-dosing acid or mushrooms, etc. Need to do some research. I'm wondering as well if you can micro-dose for months and then go to a full dose and have full effect when desired. Likely, as by micro-dosing you haven't so radically depleted your fun brain chemicals. The thing is, I often forget how awesome and fascinating life is, and when I do get into altered states - I actually do feel the God-consiousness strongly when I go for it. It's that realization that brings the tears and exposes the love for all all all all. Also, when in an entheogenic altered state I am not inspired, I AM INSPIRATION EMBODIED, fueled by pure love and fascination and beingness. I could play guitar and keyboards all night while barely being able to wait to draw, paint, 3D model, and then I want to bask in music for hours and hours, lost and in love. Then I want 4 hours of slow intimacy with someone that wants the same. I feel a bit weak sometimes, when I realize that a substance will catalyze my love for life and all manifestations within, and I so easily and habitually draw down into a morass of self-doubt and mickey-mouse living when not all enhanced and altered. Splitting fine hairs here, I know - as it all points to a lesson to learn, and a realization that if I can rule my world like a majestic god of creation and pure life consiousness when tripping along, I have everything within me to achieve this bliss of creation and love for all 'isness' every day, regardless of tabs, blotters, and fun fun fungi. They sure are awesome pointers though eh? But, you know... people regularly dose their day with big-pharma commercial crap ssri's, for just that same reason; reduced self-sabotage and enhancing day to day functionality.

I think the mix of pain and sex is very interesting to look at if we want to get another perspective on this topic. The people who are into BDSM manage to use pain and suffering in a pleasurable way. I think it's a matter of opening your heart. If you truly believe and know that the pain and suffering in your life has amazing lessons to teach you, that they will lead you straight to new insights about yourself and the world you can experience these specific feelings in a new way. If you know that there's no distinction between pain and bliss, that they walk hand in hand, you could even be grateful when you're in pain because you know it will lead you to greater bliss. I already gave this example once but basically imagine this : if you knew you'd have to suffer intensely hard during 100 days, but after that you'd live forever in complete amazing bliss, you'd take the chance right away to suffer a 100 days. You'd have a hard time the first 10 days, but by day 50 you'd be counting down the days, looking forward to the end. You'd be in peace, because you know for sure that soon the pain will be gone. Peace in suffering and pain, is knowing that the suffering and pain is leading you to a greater place. It's not an obstacle, it's a stairway. To nurture this trust, to nurture this acceptance, is to nurture the inner fire that will you keep you warm and loved at all times, no matter what happens to you. when one closes their heart to pain and suffering, then it becomes very hard to live, any negative event that happens to you or someone else becomes torturous. If you open your heart and believe in the insights of negative events, if you believe in the positivity in the negativity, then it becomes easier to go through pain and suffering and to see others go through pain and suffering...easier and easier till you don't even notice when you're in ''pain and suffering'', because it has become a part of you, because even in ''pain and suffering'' you have this amazing joy in trusting the process, the growth, a joy that illuminates the pain and suffering and thus ''it'' disappears. And it appears that ''it'' was merely a negative definition of a part of your life.