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@Annetta I felt awesome. For like an hour haha. Then the labour of coming into that state began. But it kicked so many doors right open... painfully so in the short term, but in those doors paths that lead directly to bliss.

Shaivism (Origin: India – Started: At least 2000 years BCE) Shaivism theology ranges from Shiva being the creator, preserver, destroyer to being the same as the Atman (self, soul) within oneself and every living being […] It is the Hindu tradition that most accepts ascetic life and emphasizes yoga, and like other Hindu traditions encourages an individual to discover and be one with Shiva within. God (Shiva) is within man, God is within every being, God is present everywhere in the world including all non-living beings, and there is no spiritual difference between life, matter, man and God. Zoroastrianism (Origin: India/Iran – Started : 2000 years BCE) There is only one God, the singularly creative and sustaining force of the Universe. In Zoroastrianism, Ahura Mazda is the beginning and the end, the creator of everything that can and cannot be seen, the Eternal, the Pure and the only Truth. Zoroastrianism's divinity covers both being and mind as immanent entities, it is better described as a belief in an immanent self-creating universe with consciousness as its special attribute. In Zoroastrianism, the purpose in life is to "be among those who renew the world...to make the world progress towards perfection". Its basic maxims include: Humata, Hukhta, Huvarshta, which mean: Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds. There is only one path and that is the path of Truth. Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, and then all beneficial rewards will come to you also. Jainism (Origin: India – Started: At least to the 6th century BCE) Jain texts reject the idea of a creator or destroyer God and postulate an eternal universe. Jainism has been described as a transtheistic religion, as it does not teach the dependency on any supreme being for enlightenment. The tirthankara is a guide and teacher who points the way to enlightenment, but the struggle for enlightenment is one's own. Jain texts propound that the universe was never created, nor will it ever cease to exist. It is independent and self-sufficient, and does not require any superior power to govern it. According to Jain belief, souls, intrinsically pure, possess the qualities of infinite knowledge, infinite perception, infinite bliss, and infinite energy in their ideal state. In reality, however, these qualities are found to be obstructed due to the soul's association with karmic matter. The ultimate goal in Jainism is the realization of reality For Jains, non-absolutism means maintaining open-mindedness. This includes the recognition of all perspectives and a humble respect for differences in beliefs. Jainism encourages its adherents to consider the views and beliefs of their rivals and opposing parties, including other religions. Buddhism (Origin : India – Started : Between the 6th and 4th centuries BCE) Early Buddhist canonical texts and early biographies of Buddha state that Gautama studied under Vedic teachers [...] learning meditation and ancient philosophies, particularly the concept of "nothingness, emptiness" from the former, and "what is neither seen nor unseen" from the latter. According to Buddhism there ultimately is no such thing as a self in any being or any essence in any thing. The nirvana state has been described in Buddhist texts partly in a manner similar to other Indian religions, as the state of complete liberation, enlightenment, highest happiness, bliss, fearlessness, freedom, permanence, non-dependent origination, unfathomable, indescribable. It has also been described in part differently, as a state of spiritual release marked by "emptiness" and realization of non-Self. This insight in the Mahayana tradition, states Shōhei Ichimura, has been the "insight of non-duality or the absence of reality in all things". Nirvana In the Buddhist context, nirvana refers to realization of non-self and emptiness, marking the end of rebirth by stilling the fires that keep the process of rebirth going. Bodhi (Enlightenment) It is the mind's natural and pure state, where no distinction is being made between a perceiving subject and perceived objects. Taoism (Origin : Chinese – Started: At least to the 4th century BCE) The Tao is a fundamental idea in most Chinese philosophical schools; in Taoism, however, it denotes the principle that is both the source, pattern and substance of everything that exists. Tao literally means [...] "the One, which is natural, spontaneous, eternal, nameless, and indescribable. It is at once the beginning of all things and the way in which all things pursue their course." It has variously been denoted as the "flow of the universe" […] The Tao also is something that individuals can find immanent in themselves. Human beings are seen as a microcosm of the universe […] As a consequence, it is believed that deeper understanding of the universe can be achieved by understanding oneself. Taoism rejects the Confucianist emphasis on rituals, hierarchical social order, and conventional morality, and favors naturalness, spontaneity, and individualism instead. Taoist ethics vary depending on the particular school, but in general tend to emphasize wu wei (effortless action), "naturalness", simplicity, spontaneity, and the Three Treasures: 慈 "compassion", 儉 "frugality", and 不敢為天下先 "humility" Neoplatonism (Origin: Athens – Started : 3rd century BCE) The work of Neoplatonic philosophy involved describing the derivation of the whole of reality from a single principle, "the One." Source, Absolute, or One is what all things spring from According to Plotinus, The One is not a conscious god with intent nor a godhead nor a conditioned existing entity of any kind, rather a requisite principle of totality which is also the source of ultimate wisdom. One must become "God" (henosis). This is reached through contemplation of the primeval Being, the One — in other words, through an ecstatic approach to it. Thought cannot attain to this, for thought reaches only to the nous, and it itself is a kind of motion. It is only in a state of perfect passivity and repose that the soul can recognise and touch the primaeval Being. Beginning with the contemplation of corporeal things in their multiplicity and harmony, it then retires upon itself and withdraws into the depths of its own being, rising thence to the nous, the world of ideas. But, even there, it does not find the Highest, the One; it still hears a voice saying, "not we have made ourselves". The last stage is reached when, in the highest tension and concentration, beholding in silence and utter forgetfulness of all things, it is able, as it were, to lose itself. Then it sees God, the foundation of life, the source of being, the origin of all good, the root of the soul. In that moment, it enjoys the highest indescribable bliss; it is, as it were, swallowed up by divinity, bathed in the light of eternity. Gnosticism (Origin : Jewish – Started : 1st century CE) In many Gnostic systems (and heresiologies), God is known as the Monad, the One. The Sethian hidden transcendent God is, by contrast, defined through negative theology: he is immovable, invisible, intangible, ineffable; commonly, "he" is seen as being hermaphroditic, a potent symbol for being, as it were, "all-containing". Christian Mysticism (Origin : Jewish – Started : 2nd century CE) Bernard McGinn defines Christian mysticism as: [T]hat part, or element, of Christian belief and practice that concerns the preparation for, the consciousness of, and the effect of [...] a direct and transformative presence of God. ...new ways of knowing and loving based on states of awareness in which God becomes present in our inner acts. Religion is based on a feeling of the infinite. Mysticism thus becomes seen as a personal matter of cultivating inner states of tranquility and equanimity "one of the immortal spirits waiting to introduce the reader to his own unique and intense experience of reality" The path of illumination, has to do with the activity of the Holy Spirit enlightening the mind, giving insights into truths not only explicit in scripture and the rest of the Christian tradition, but also those implicit in nature, not in the scientific sense, but rather in terms of an illumination of the "depth" aspects of reality and natural happenings, such that the working of God is perceived in all that one experiences. The awakening, the stage in which one begins to have some consciousness of absolute or divine reality. Dzogchen (Origin: Tibetan – Started: 8th century CE) Rigpa is a central concept in Dzogchen. It is "reflexively self-aware primordial wisdom,"which is self-reflexively aware of itself as unbounded wholeness. "In Gelug, the conscious experience is some level of blissful awareness of voidness." The Dzogchen meditation practices also include a series of exercises known as Semdzin (sems dzin), which literally means "to hold the mind" or "to fix mind." The practice of Trekchö […] In this practice one first identifies, and then sustains recognition of, one's own innately pure, empty awareness. Insight leads to nyamshag, "being present in the state of clarity and emptiness". Sufism (Origin : Islam – Started : 9th century CE) Haqiqa (which means « ultimate truth ») In Universal Sufism, Haqiqat is the "phase" in which the central ongoing question/concern of the seeker is subsistent (as opposed to transient) reality. The life of the seeker becomes a fathoming device in which what is timeless, formless, weightless etc, is recognized and valued above all. Entering into marifat in Universal Sufism, the seeker no longer asserts or defines anything […] Or better said, all conversation topics are of equal interest. The seeker's life is then, itself, revelation. Fakir In mystical usage, the word fakir refers to man's spiritual need for God, who alone is self-sufficient. "Faqir attains eternity by dissolving himself in oneness of Allah. He, when, eliminates his-self from other than Allah, his soul reaches to divinity." They were known as performers 'mad' in a worshiping trance of joy - transcending above both good and bad. [...] They believe the soul that lives in all human bodies is God. Kabbalah (Origin : Jewish – Started: 12th century CE) Kabbalah is a set of esoteric teachings meant to explain the relationship between an unchanging, eternal, and mysterious Ein Sof (infinity) and the mortal and finite universe (God's creation). The nature of the divine prompted kabbalists to envision two aspects to God: (a) God in essence, absolutely transcendent, unknowable, limitless Divine simplicity, and (b) God in manifestation, the revealed persona of God through which he creates and sustains and relates to mankind. Kabbalists speak of the first as Ein/Ayn Sof (אין סוף "the infinite/endless", literally "that which has no limits"). God's existence is higher than anything that this world can express, yet he includes all things of this world within his Divine reality in perfect unity, so that the Creation effected no change in him at all. Compassionate actions are often impossible without faith (Emunah), meaning to trust that God always supports compassionate actions even when God seems hidden. Ultimately, it is necessary to show compassion toward oneself too in order to share compassion toward others. Sikhism (Origin : India – Started : 15th century CE) Sikhism rejects claims that any particular religious tradition has a monopoly on Absolute Truth. Guru Nanak taught that living an "active, creative, and practical life" of "truthfulness, fidelity, self-control and purity" is above the metaphysical truth In Sikhism, the concept of "God" is Vāhigurū—is shapeless, timeless, and invisible "God" is omnipresent and infinite with power over everything "There is but one all-pervading spirit, and truth is its name! It exists in all creation; it does not fear; it does not hate; it is timeless and universal and self-existent, You will come to know it through seeking knowledge and learning! (meditation and self-inquiry)" Once truth starts to shine in a person's heart, the essence of current and past holy books of all religions is understood by the person. The goal of man, taught the Sikh Gurus, is to end all dualities of "self and other, I and not-I", attain the "attendant balance of separation-fusion, self-other, action-inaction, attachment-detachment, in the course of daily life". Transcendantalism (Origin: USA – Started: Early 19th century CE) Transcendentalists also believe that all people possess a piece of the "Over-soul" (God). Because the Over-soul is one, this unites all people as one being. Neo-Advaita (Origin : USA – Started : Mid 20th century CE) The basic practice of neo-Advaita is self-inquiry, via the question "Who am I?", or simply the direct recognition of the non-existence of the "I" or "ego." This recognition is taken to be equal to the Advaita Vedanta recognition of the identity of Atman and Brahman, or the recognition of the "Formless Self." Christian Science (Origin: England – Started: 19th century CE) In particular, adherents subscribe to a radical form of philosophical idealism, believing that reality is purely spiritual and the material world an illusion. Eddy saw humanity as an "idea of Mind" that is "perfect, eternal, unlimited, and reflects the divine," according to Bryan Wilson; what she called "mortal man" is simply humanity's distorted view of itself. Eddy viewed God not as a person, but as "All-in-all." "for God is one, Time is one, Individuality is one, and may be one of a series, one of many, as an individual man, individual horse; whereas God is one, not one of a series, but one alone and without an equal." The Infinite Way (Origin : US – Started : 20th century) The Infinite Way reveals the nature of God to be one infinite power, intelligence, and love; the nature of the individual being to be one with God's qualities and character, expressed in infinite forms and variety; and the nature of the discords of this world to be a misconception of God's expression of Himself in His universe." "'The Infinite Way' is not a religion... but an experience in spiritual living. New Age (Origin: Western countries – Started: Late 20th century) This intentional vagueness as to the nature of divinity also reflects the New Age idea that divinity cannot be comprehended by the human mind or language. There are nevertheless a number of traits that are repeatedly associated with divinity in New Age literature, the first of which is the idea that it is holistic, thus frequently being described with such terms as an "Ocean of Oneness", "Infinite Spirit", "Primal Stream", "One Essence", and "Universal Principle".A second common trait is the characterisation of divinity as "Mind", "Consciousness", and "Intelligence", while a third is the description of divinity as a form of "energy". A fourth trait is the characterisation of divinity as a "life force", the essence of which is creativity, while a fifth is the concept that divinity consists of love. The New Age worldview emphasises holism and the idea that everything in existence is intricately connected as part of a single whole, in doing so rejecting both the dualism of Judeo-Christian thought and the reductionism of Cartesian science. "Higher Self" which is a part of the human but which connects with the divine essence of the universe, and which can advise the human mind through intuition. Actualized.org (Origin: But Leo ... - Started: HEYYYYYYYYYYY)

@Loreena, in my opinion it does to a certain degree. Before I started working in my profession I had just enough money to live my student life. Then, when I began working I got enough money to not care any more how much I spent on my groceries, whether I can go the bar with my friends this weekend, whether I can share a beautiful dinner with a woman and take her out. And this gives at least me some kind of freedom. It supports the life that I want to live, so it's a basis in a sense. However, it won't make you happy in the way you want to be happy. When you share a deep conversation with a friend, when you are in love, when you have a great meditation or an enlightenment experience you tap into a kind of bliss that is so beautiful and spontaneous that you'll instantly recognize that everything material you can possess cannot compete with that.

@Socrates If you find your life purpose, that will serve as the backbone for much of your education guidance. But also nonduality, etc is sure to come in handy no matter where you go. Just following your curiosity and bliss is also a good way to go. Study what you LOVE. Yes, more great books coming.

If you meditate, love will follow; if you love, meditation will follow. Meditation is easier, love is difficult. Meditation means living with oneself, forgetting the other completely – it is a less difficult dimension than love. Love and meditation are two aspects of the same coin; if you have gained control of the one aspect, the other follows. A glimpse of bliss, love, means you had come close. But glimpses are bound to be lost. Meditation can, at the most, give only a glimpse. But do not stop there; do not get stuck looking for that same glimpse again and again. Then one has to go ahead.

@Annetta @Toby We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Aloneness is our very nature, but we are not aware of it. Because we are not aware of it, we remain strangers to ourselves, and instead of seeing our aloneness as a tremendous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, at-easeness with existence, we misunderstand it as loneliness. Loneliness is a misunderstood aloneness. Once you misunderstand your aloneness as loneliness, the whole context changes. Aloneness has a beauty and grandeur, a positivity; loneliness is poor, negative, dark, dismal. Everybody is running away from loneliness. It is like a wound; it hurts. To escape from it, the only way is to be in a crowd, to become part of a society, to have friends, to create a family, to have husbands and wives, to have children. In this crowd, the basic effort is that you will be able to forget your loneliness. But nobody has ever succeeded in forgetting it. That which is natural to you, you can try to ignore -- but you cannot forget it; it will assert again and again. And the problem becomes more complex because you have never seen it as it is; you have taken it for granted that you are born lonely. The dictionary meaning is the same; that shows the mind of the people who create dictionaries. They don't understand at all the vast difference between loneliness and aloneness. Loneliness is a gap. Something is missing, something is needed to fill it, and nothing can ever fill it because it is a misunderstanding in the first place. As you grow older, the gap also grows bigger. People are so afraid to be by themselves that they do any kind of stupid thing. I have seen people playing cards alone; the other party is not there. They have invented games in which the same person plays cards from both sides. Somehow one wants to remain engaged. That engagement may be with people, may be with work.... There are workaholics; they are afraid when the weekend comes close -- what are they going to do? And if they don't do anything, they are left to themselves, and that is the most painful experience. People are playing cards, chess; people are watching television for hours. People are listening to the radio... just to avoid themselves. For all these activities, the only reason is -- not to be left alone; it is very fearful. And this idea is taken from others. Those who have known aloneness say something absolutely different. They say there is nothing more beautiful, more peaceful, more joyful than being alone. But you listen to the crowd. Millions of people agree that to be left to oneself is the worst experience in life; it is hell. First basic thing is to know your aloneness absolutely. This escape from yourself you have learned from the crowd. Because everybody is escaping, you start escaping. Every child is born in a crowd and starts imitating people; what others are doing, he starts doing. He falls into the same miserable situations as others are in, and he starts thinking that this is what life is all about. And he has missed life completely.

@Dingus The trap is that many seekers use the "illusion" as a means of escape, with hope that they can rest in non-duality for the rest of their life and then pass away. 1. This will make enlightenment impossible. 2. If there iss suffering created within the illusion, then surely bliss can be created as well!

@username IN a way yeah. At the same time mindfulness is just a very very beginning stage of this. You gotta kinda notice the nervous system. But then it becomes redundant. What is really important is love! The quickest path to enlightenment (ok im not enlightened so this is a total pretense) is loving yourself relentlessly. Love yourself and watch every emotion transform into goodness. And soon enough, this goodness will start matching the bliss of existence. And as those 2 vibrations get aligned, you merge with your infinite nature.

@electroBeam Awareness is always there, it is you, its the presence. There is nothing behind YOU and IT because YOU are IT. Always have been. EGO = overstimulated nervous system You can imagine awareness being this vast sea of bliss and presence. At the same time there is this little "ball of emotions and thoughts and sensations" screaming HEEY YO LOOK AT ME! HERE! THERE'S LOADS OF SHIT GOING ON! HEY! ME! MMEEEE!! LALALAL DADADADADAD MEE MEE MEMEM MEE TOODLE DOODLE POOPY DOO So awareness is like. WOaaah. Look! There is so much interesting shit going on!!!!! Emotions, thoughts, sensations.... SO COOL! Let me identify with that so I can get to know it better! So you go and you calm down the nervous system. That is why I love shadow-work. Because until you do enough of clearing out your negative beliefs, and your emotions and recations calm down, you, as a body/mind complex will literally stop being that interesting to awareness, and you will in a sense explode into open space realizing that you have never been that interesting ball of attention seeking sensations!

Every seeker is in this situation: you don't know what you are seeking, you don't know what the goal is, you don't know where you are going, why you are going. But if he has not escaped, not turned his back and run about in the world, he will laugh and smile, because out of this night such a beautiful morning. We are too much attached to the body, it seems like death; because we think the body is our life, we think it is terrible. And this is one of the greatest preparations for death. One day death will come: before it comes, you will be ready, you will be ready to die! Out of this troubled state, out of this hell and fear and anguish , you will find absolute bliss.

You made me laugh out loud! I'm fascinated however, by the possibilities with mocro-dosing acid or mushrooms, etc. Need to do some research. I'm wondering as well if you can micro-dose for months and then go to a full dose and have full effect when desired. Likely, as by micro-dosing you haven't so radically depleted your fun brain chemicals. The thing is, I often forget how awesome and fascinating life is, and when I do get into altered states - I actually do feel the God-consiousness strongly when I go for it. It's that realization that brings the tears and exposes the love for all all all all. Also, when in an entheogenic altered state I am not inspired, I AM INSPIRATION EMBODIED, fueled by pure love and fascination and beingness. I could play guitar and keyboards all night while barely being able to wait to draw, paint, 3D model, and then I want to bask in music for hours and hours, lost and in love. Then I want 4 hours of slow intimacy with someone that wants the same. I feel a bit weak sometimes, when I realize that a substance will catalyze my love for life and all manifestations within, and I so easily and habitually draw down into a morass of self-doubt and mickey-mouse living when not all enhanced and altered. Splitting fine hairs here, I know - as it all points to a lesson to learn, and a realization that if I can rule my world like a majestic god of creation and pure life consiousness when tripping along, I have everything within me to achieve this bliss of creation and love for all 'isness' every day, regardless of tabs, blotters, and fun fun fungi. They sure are awesome pointers though eh? But, you know... people regularly dose their day with big-pharma commercial crap ssri's, for just that same reason; reduced self-sabotage and enhancing day to day functionality.

I've been thinking about this for quite awhile and it's been holding me back in my ability to find meaning and inspiration in life. I mean if reality is meaningless and there is no good or evil, then how can the so-called "positive" emotions like passion, bliss, joy etc. be actually positive, are they just an illusion? The same goes for negative emotions...

I think the mix of pain and sex is very interesting to look at if we want to get another perspective on this topic. The people who are into BDSM manage to use pain and suffering in a pleasurable way. I think it's a matter of opening your heart. If you truly believe and know that the pain and suffering in your life has amazing lessons to teach you, that they will lead you straight to new insights about yourself and the world you can experience these specific feelings in a new way. If you know that there's no distinction between pain and bliss, that they walk hand in hand, you could even be grateful when you're in pain because you know it will lead you to greater bliss. I already gave this example once but basically imagine this : if you knew you'd have to suffer intensely hard during 100 days, but after that you'd live forever in complete amazing bliss, you'd take the chance right away to suffer a 100 days. You'd have a hard time the first 10 days, but by day 50 you'd be counting down the days, looking forward to the end. You'd be in peace, because you know for sure that soon the pain will be gone. Peace in suffering and pain, is knowing that the suffering and pain is leading you to a greater place. It's not an obstacle, it's a stairway. To nurture this trust, to nurture this acceptance, is to nurture the inner fire that will you keep you warm and loved at all times, no matter what happens to you. when one closes their heart to pain and suffering, then it becomes very hard to live, any negative event that happens to you or someone else becomes torturous. If you open your heart and believe in the insights of negative events, if you believe in the positivity in the negativity, then it becomes easier to go through pain and suffering and to see others go through pain and suffering...easier and easier till you don't even notice when you're in ''pain and suffering'', because it has become a part of you, because even in ''pain and suffering'' you have this amazing joy in trusting the process, the growth, a joy that illuminates the pain and suffering and thus ''it'' disappears. And it appears that ''it'' was merely a negative definition of a part of your life.

So I´v been sitting on my 5-meo not using it for months now , one reason for that is that I have had enormous respect for this substance and that I don´t want to leave anything by chance when tripping, even though I knew deep inside that´s not possible with this substance. So finally this week I had my first trip, my plan was to move forward really slow and safe with this so I tried to weigh out 10mg on my scale, turned into 11mg, had a hot shower, half a cop of coffee, half a spoon of honey, got myself together and snorted it up. I was expecting a hell of a burn in the nose but it was not that bad at all, just a little sensation. I layed down on the bed in my hotel room opened up my body and did some conscious breathing - inhale on 1,2,3,4,5,6 then micropause and exhale on 1,2,3,4,5,6, through the nose the slowest and deepest I could, waiting for the kick in. After 5-7 min I felt things started to happen, my heart was beating faster and faster and I just continued counting 1,2,3... Then after 12-14 min I knew I had made it through the come up and the plateau was coming. Very, very nice, I became very peaceful, still and happy. I have been so afraid for this! I thought, ok it was only 11mg but still...now I know how to do it. I looked out through the window and I saw some green grass, threes, a dutch truck with som orange and green colours, and birds. Everything was telling me - come play with us, it´s a play. I felt joy and warmth in my heart. Everything looked so still, peaceful and in a flow, like in slowmotion. After 1 hour I was back to base, happier than before and with no side effects from the trip. A very mild and positive first trip. Second trip, this time I took 18 mg with the same set and setting but in the nighttime. The com up went good this time too, when the plateau came this time it was very different from the first time, my sense of time disappeared, I layed down in my bed with closed eyes and it felted like a vast hole opened up inside of me from very it pored out light and fire, very beautiful and hard to describe. I knew that I had touched something that I´ve never touched before inside of me. Third trip, because i wanted to play this safe when last time was very powerful and mysterious I,ll do 13mg this time I and work on with my technic, I thought. So I weight out 13mg and it hits me that the scale didn't respond to the first grains i was putting in and it did look a lot more than last time, but since I had just calibrated this new expensive scale I didn't give it a second thought. (the dot that indicate that the scale is straight was totally out of position, didn't even know that there was a dot for that on the scale, the amount I had weight up was approximately 30-40mg I realized later.) Now I snorted this like a walk in the park, layed down on the bed and counted 1,2,3...after 10 min this hits me so hard and I just know something must have been wrong on the scale. My heart was beating like never before and I felt I was going far away, oh fuck I'm breaking through was my last thought. Then very mysterious things happen and I was in total bliss, even though I vas feeling very sick most of the time and on the edge of throwing up. This state that I used to hate more than anything, when you´re about to throw up! Now I didn´t even want it to be different, because I knew - it can´t be different. After maybe 30 min I went to the toilet, looked at myself in the mirror and laughed. So you finally made it, you found me I said quiet, knowing that I had access to an enormous power that had nothing to do with this body. There is no-one home in this person that i´m looking at, just a shell, everything that is worth something is flowing through this shell. This shell is just something because of the one life that is flowing through it. Nothing comes from this shell. Now, this moment God have found itself through this shell that was nothing but an empty shell all the time, what a play! At this point I had no questions, nothing could be more beautiful than this, everything was answered because I didn't have a need to know anything. The day after - I´m a little bit confused now and I will now work to integrate this in my everyday life which will be quite a task. 5-Meo has shown me my true nature. Looking back, the thoughts and fears around this substance that I had was way worse than it was to actually take it.

all of it is pain and suffering. there is nothing wrong with the way world is. but there is nothing wrong with the way you view the world either, it's part of your spiritual growth to go through this negativity the first step to enlightenment is realizing the gap between your current intelligence and the intelligence of the universe, which is infinite. not only to humble yourself, but open your mind to new perspective. the world as it is, is an empty circumstance, you assign the meaning you want to it, the illusion is that one might think that the world has inherent meaning and you're merely observing what's going on. This is the illusion most of us are under. You are the creator. You can see the glass as half full or half empty, this is really what this stuff comes down to. Positive or negative. You can chose to see the bad in the world and believe in that or you can chose to see the good and believe in that. the problem is that negativity is of lower intelligence, it leads to fear, distinction, separation, conflict and self-violence and violence. While positivity is of higher intelligence, it leads to open-mindedness, connection, exploration,curiosity, clarity. it's hard to get this, if you don't get how deep and overwhelming the meaning you assign to the world shapes your awareness of it. I've done a lot of psychedelics so I explored states of being where I felt completely peaceful, sometimes in complete bliss, in the same world that I thought was so shitty. How could I feel so good if the world was so ''fucked up'' as I used to think? it made it easier for me to realize the deep impact my view of the world has on the way I experience it. I'm a thousand miles away from needing psychedelics to feel good about the world now,I can assure you that if you open your heart and your mind, to positive definitions about the world, you will be amazed by the things you will understand. this world is amazing, but it takes you to raise your intelligence to get why it is, it takes you to raise your sensibility, so it takes you to raise your spiritual vibration and you will get all that. You need to grow spiritually to get what's going on and why it's going on. it's a matter of trust, you can't make these spiritual insights come down to you if you keep believing in negative stuff that you make you feel bad. this knowledge won't flow down to you while you're hanging on these dark ideas about the world. first you need to release these concepts, and be in a state of openness, a state of not knowing. to be able to be in a state where you consciously know that you don't know shit about the world and about what's going on in it is the highway to spiritual growth. literally objectively you are not wrong, if the world feels shitty to you then it is shitty. but know that the world is not a static circumstance, it could be an amazing place, you are the one creating your awareness of the world....the world could feel amazing or it could feel shitty, there is no truth,there is no right or wrong, you chose how the world is, that's your power as a creator of your own reality. I really mean it, I had a few months where my mantra, my way of growing was constantly repeating to myself : ''I don't know shit, I don't know anything, I don't know shit about what's going, I have not a single clue what is going on, I know nothing, nothing at all, I know nothing, call me Jon snow'' slowly as I practiced a humble state of not knowing did I start to actually know more. you have to be humble and open-minded to receive knowledge from your higher self. how can you grow spiritually if you think you've got the world figured out? where is the space to grow if you think you know everything about how the world works? How could you possible learn something new if you think you're on to everything? be aware of that

@zazed I agree. The circular thought processes are especially a problem for people suffering with anxiety. Thats actually the entire problem. From my perspective, first I learned that a thought is just a sensation. I had never thought about it before, but it is. Then I started to look at it in terms of identification. I do not identify with tastes, touch, sound, etc. So my mind said, well I must be the totality of my sensation. That cant be right either, because that would mean that I wouldn't exist between sensations. This is when I realized that everything is arising in nothing. "I" am the nothing in which it arises. This is where I started to identify with what is outside my body. It makes way more sense that we are that, rather than the body. Recently, I have been watching me thoughts. When they arise, how they arise, etc. I have been going through the process of dis-identifying with them. I can't control them, so now I observe them like a sound. When I really started doing this, I would have moments where there was no middle man between me and what occurs. My body just moves and it's really weird, like I'm not necessarily in control of it, but also, I know its coming. It is complete engrossment in what is going on around me. I went through a few cycles of that over time, as I tried to kind of figure out what the me thought was. Then the realization hit me that the me thought never really carried the meaning that had been assigned to it. it was an mascarading as the executive that was seeking, and really controlling everything. That has been the emphasis, until this morning, i was driving to school and I guess it just sunk in that the thought that was occurring was a me thought, and it was only arising in me. This thought rolled through my head: The me thought is swimming in an ocean of nothing. After that the thoughts kind of stopped arising and I felt physically just like I did after my awakening. Blissful. during class, it seemed like my body was on autopilot. I felt as though I was only in the background, watching. That sounds like it would be a terrifying experience, but it is the best feeling. Words dont do it justice. It is sort of like a yoyo. The identification breaks down in waves and true identity becomes more and more established. I know this time that the bliss wont last, but I don't care. The ego is losing its control, and this morning was a big step in that direction. It's funny how living as nothing feels more real than when I thought i was something. I don't feel like this is happening to me, but I dont really know how else to write it without using that language.

Such tears, much bliss, wow LOVE http://www.wakingtimes.com/2014/11/14/god-true-teachings-jesus/

Same here ryan iam going through same thing. Last year was kind of very emotional for me and not anymore coz of meditation. But now i dont care about anything and there is lack of enthusiasm. on things like relationship and all i dont even care i dont even care to speak to my family members. .I know my life purpose and all but it is not motivating me much. i had a small Truth experience four weeks back (a day of bliss) and after that i reduced meditation time to half hour and even stopped Self enquiry and mindfulness.. last two days iam kind of doing shadow work to know what is happening but no result yet. (I even raised my voice at mom and throwed pillow that kept under my hands at her for disturbing me during meditation since i was in meditation i could notice there wasnt no anger or anything in me and i started laughing. ya apathy and turning nuts ?)

Sex is just an opportunity for a higher transformation of life energy. As far as it goes it is alright, but when sex becomes the whole, when it becomes the sole outlet for life energy, then it becomes destructive. It can only be the means, not the end. And means are meaningful only when the ends are achieved. The moment sex becomes the end, the spiritual dimension is lost. If your energies are needed somewhere else, somewhere more blissful, sex will disappear. It is not that the energy is sublimated; it is not that you have done something to it. Rather, a new way toward greater bliss has opened for you and automatically, spontaneously, the energy begins to flow toward the new door. This is so automatic, so spontaneous, that no positive action against sex is needed. Whenever you are doing anything against any energy it is negative. The real, positive action is not even connected with sex but is concerned with meditation. You will not even know that sex has gone. It has simply been absorbed by the new. The reason why sex is so important to religious seekers is because it is so nonvoluntary, so compelling, so natural. It has become a criterion to know whether the life energy in a particular person has reached the divine. We cannot know directly that someone has encountered the divine. We can know directly that someone has transcended sex because we are acquainted with sex. Sex is so compulsive, so nonvoluntary, it is so great a force, that it cannot be transcended until someone has achieved the divine. You will encounter something so blissful that sex will become irrelevant and it will subside by itself. Now your energy will no longer flow in that direction. Energy always flows towards bliss. Because bliss appears in sex, energy flows toward it, but if you seek more bliss — a bliss that transcends sex, that goes beyond sex, a bliss that is more fulfilling, deeper, greater — then, by itself, energy will stop flowing towards sex. Go beyond, because still greater bliss awaits you. The journey must continue. This does not mean that by dropping sex one will achieve the divine. The reverse is a fallacy. Anything done negatively with sex will not transform the energy. On the contrary, it will create a conflict within you that will be destructive.

Sex is just an opportunity for a higher transformation of life energy. As far as it goes it is alright, but when sex becomes the whole, when it becomes the sole outlet for life energy, then it becomes destructive. If your energies are needed somewhere else, somewhere more blissful, sex will disappear. It is not that the energy is sublimated; it is not that you have done something to it. Rather, a new way toward greater bliss has opened for you and automatically, spontaneously, the energy begins to flow toward the new door. This is so automatic, so spontaneous, that no positive action against sex is needed. Whenever you are doing anything against any energy it is negative. The real, positive action is not even connected with sex but is concerned with meditation. You will not even know that sex has gone. It has simply been absorbed by the new. The reason why sex is so important to religious seekers is because it is so nonvoluntary, so compelling, so natural. It has become a criterion to know whether the life energy in a particular person has reached the divine. You will encounter something so blissful that sex will become irrelevant and it will subside by itself. Now your energy will no longer flow in that direction. Energy always flows towards bliss. Because bliss appears in sex, energy flows toward it, but if you seek more bliss — a bliss that transcends sex, that goes beyond sex, a bliss that is more fulfilling, deeper, greater — then, by itself, energy will stop flowing towards sex.

Hi, just wanted to drop a post about the experience I had after a meditation session at the park this weekend. I was intensly focused on the present moment and I might have also had some help from a green herb you might know. An amazing thing happened, I felt so intensly alive, so free, so happy. My life situation right now is pretty dicy and my mind can find a million and one things to bitch and moan about, but as I turn towards my presence, I feel this incredible joy of being in the body. I was walking after that in a state of pure bliss. I needed nothing to be added to this moment. The intensity of being present is definitely something that is in the process of awakening and deepening within me thanks to all the spiritual exercises and practices. Thanks to the herb, I was able to amplify that and experienced being the noself. My focus was completely inwards, it was like I was observing emptiness. Nothing on the outside mattered anymore. I was complete. In fact there was no outside and there was no me looking at some emptiness. It was like emptiness was taking a bath in itself and it was more me than anything my mind identifies with. Working on making that my natural state by continuing my quest to be conscious of the inner self, that self which never changes no matter what. The self that is always here. God. Thanks for reading and good luck on your journey as well!

@Heart of Space everyone has said very good advice, i just want to add something: In consciousness work, weird experiences like these will only get weirder and weirder and more crazy as time goes on. Soon your entire body will be moving without the ego's input (in fact thats what happening right now, youre just unaware of it). Try reaffirming yourself that everything that happens is very normal, very natural and is a good thing. Not having control is totally ok, and believe in your body to be able to do what it deems necessary to relieve suffering in your life. Try and let go (sadona method or otherwise) of controlling your mind and body whenever you can (walking to work etc). And be comfortable with paranormal/very weird experiences that go outside the boundaries of the physical world. Accept everything that god accepts and you will be in bliss.

At first, I only got a vague idea-- that if we were all self-serving, then we would disregard the good of the whole. I see so much more nuance to it now. I recently got in a discussion with someone where I proposed a radically different view point,not a personal insult, but just considering a different perspective . I was promptly told to fuck off and that I was complete moron and exactly what was wrong with the world. Now, you may think this is where I judge the other person for being low-consciousness. And truth be told, that's what I did do in the moment. I was also angry and hurt. I tried to judge the other person, but then I remembered my training (my personal development work) and I took a step back and saw things from a broader perspective. Rather than narrowly focusing on the few aspects of this other person that triggered me, I tried to understand. After about fifteen minutes of actively trying to empathize and gain understanding, I saw why this person acted the way they did. I also acknowledge a lot of aspects of the other person's higher-self that I had blinded my self to when I was initially judging. I understood why this person was filled with anger and hate, to some degree. It was due to the same type of reaction that I initially had. We judge people through the lens of our own egos, what Abraham Maslow called deficiency perception, rather than in a holistic, big picture way,or being perception. We judge and condemn instead of seeking to understand and empathize on a deep level. Since we are so identified with our beliefs , we will do what we can to preserve them and thus our egos. This is why we resist actually trying to explore other paradigms. This tendency to to debate rather than actually try to understand other points of view is what prevents of from really understanding others, creating enemies and hostility rather than peace and love. After realizing what I had done and how I had let go of my negative feelings toward this other person who condemned me, I felt bliss and lightness. I was simultaneously deeply moved by the insight that no matter how refined we make our legislation, our institutions, our technology, etc. ,we are limited in our development by our own egos and lack of consciousness.

Jesus said: It is impossible for a man to mount two horses and to stretch two bows; and it is impossible for a servant to serve two masters, otherwise he will honor the one and offend the other. Everybody is already mounted on two horses, everybody is stretching two bows -- not only two but many. That's how anguish is created, that's why you are constantly in anxiety. Anxiety shows that somehow you are mounted on two horses. How can you be at ease? Impossible, because the two horses are moving in two directions, and you cannot move anywhere. With one horse movement is possible, you can reach somewhere. With two horses movement is impossible, they will negate each other and you will not reach anywhere. And this is the anxiety -- that you are not reaching anywhere. Deep down this is the anguish: that life is slipping out of your hands, time is becoming less and less, death is coming near and you are not reaching anywhere. It is as if you have become a stagnant pool, just getting dryer and dryer and dying. There is no goal, no fulfillment. But why is it happening? -- because you have been trying to do the impossible. Try to understand the mind as it functions in you, then you will be able to understand what Jesus means. You want to be as free as a poor man because only a poor man can be free -- he has no burden, he has nothing to protect, you cannot rob him. He is unafraid. You cannot snatch anything from him because he has nothing; with nothing, he is at ease; with nothing as his possession, nothing can be stolen from him. Nobody is his enemy because he is not a competitor at all, he is not competing with anybody. You want to be as free as a poor man, as a beggar, but you also want to be as secure as a rich man, as safe as an emperor. The rich man is safe, the rich man is secure, he feels more rooted. Outwardly, he has made all the arrangements, he is not vulnerable: he has protections against death, you cannot murder him so easily, he has an armor. And you would like to be free like the beggar and to be secure like an emperor -- then you are mounted on two horses and it is impossible to reach anywhere. You love a person, but you want the person to behave like a thing, completely in your hands. But you cannot love a thing, because a thing is dead and cannot respond to you. So if the other is really a person he cannot be possessed, he is like mercury: the more you try to keep him in your fist, the more he goes out -- because to be a person means to be free. If he is a person, you cannot possess him; if you can possess him, he is no longer a person and you will not be able to love him. Then he is just a dead thing. Who can love a dead thing? You are mounted on two horses. You want a person like a thing, which is impossible! A person has to be free and alive, and only then can you love him. But then you feel difficult, you start possessing, and then you start killing him; you are poisoning. If he allows you this poisoning, sooner or later he will be just a thing. So wives become decorative pieces in the houses, husbands become just watchmen -- but love disappears. And this is happening in all directions. There is doubt in you because doubt has its benefits: it gives you more calculating power, it gives you more protection, nobody can deceive you easily. So you doubt -- but then doubt creates anxiety because deep down you are uneasy. Doubt is just like illness. Unless you have trust you cannot be at ease, because doubt means wavering and wavering is uneasy. Doubt means, "What to do -- this or that?" Doubt means, "To be or not to be?" -- and it is impossible to decide. Not even on a single point is decision possible through doubt. At the most, you can decide with the part of the mind which becomes the majority. But the minority is there, and it is not a small minority. And because you have chosen against the minority, the minority will always be looking for the situation when it can say you have chosen wrongly. The minority is there to rebel; it is a constant turmoil within you. With doubt there is uneasiness. It is an illness, it is just like any illness -- it is a mental illness. So a man who doubts becomes more and more ill. But you cannot deceive him easily because he is more cunning, he is more clever in the ways of the world. You cannot deceive him, but he is ill. So there is a benefit -- he cannot be deceived -- but there is a loss, a great loss. The benefit is at a very great cost: he remains wavering, uneasy, he cannot decide. Even if he decides, that decision is just the major portion deciding against the minor. He is divided, there is always conflict. Trust you also want. You also want to be in faith, because faith gives you health; there is no indecisiveness, you are completely certain. Certainty gives you a happiness: there is no wavering, you are unwavering; you are whole, not divided -- and wholeness is health. Trust gives you health, but then you become vulnerable, anybody can deceive you. If you trust you are in danger, because there are people all around who would like to exploit you, and they can exploit you only when you trust. If you doubt, they cannot exploit. So you are mounted on two horses, doubt and faith -- but you are doing the impossible. You will remain constantly in anxiety and anguish, you will deteriorate. In this conflict of the two horses you will die. Some day or other there is going to be an accident -- that accident will be your death: you will be finished before you have reached anywhere; you will be finished before the flowers come; you will be finished before you come to know what life is, what it means to be. The being will have disappeared. JESUS SAID: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES.... But every man is trying to do the impossible, that is why every man is in trouble. And I say to you: this is in every direction. So there are not only two horses, there are millions of horses altogether, and every moment you are living a contradiction. Why does it happen? The mechanism has to be understood, only then can you drop it. Why does it happen? The way every child is brought up is the cause. The way every child enters into this world of mad people all around is the cause. They create contradictions, they teach you contradictory things. For example, you have been taught: Love the whole of humanity, be brotherly to each and everyone, love thy neighbor as thyself. And simultaneously you have been educated, brought up, conditioned, to compete, to compete with everyone. When you compete, the other is the enemy, not the friend. He has to be defeated, he has to be conquered; really, he has to be destroyed. And you have to be ruthless, otherwise the other will destroy you. If you are a competitor, then the whole society is the enemy, nobody is a neighbor, nobody is a brother. And you cannot love -- you have to hate, you have to be jealous, you have to be angry. You have to be continuously ready to fight and win, and it is a hard struggle -- if you are tender-hearted you are lost. So be strong and violent and aggressive. Before the other attacks, you attack him. Before it is too late, you attack and win; otherwise you will be lost because millions are competing for the same thing, you are not alone. And how can a mind which is in competition be in love with its neighbor? It is impossible! But both teachings have been given to you: you have been taught that honesty is the best policy, and also that business is business! Both things together, both horses have been given to you together. And a child, unaware of the ways of the world, cannot see and feel the contradiction. To feel the contradiction a very mature intelligence is needed; a Jesus, a Buddha is needed to feel the contradiction. A child is unaware of the ways of the world, and the teachers -- the father, the mother, the family -- are persons he loves. He loves them -- how can he think that they are creating contradictions in him? He cannot even imagine it because they are his benefactors: they are kind to him, they are bringing him up. They are his source of energy, life, everything. So why should they create contradictions? A father loves, a mother loves, but the problem is that they were also brought up in the same wrong way and they don't know what to do except to repeat. Whatsoever their parents taught them, they are teaching their children. They are simply transferring a disease; from one generation to another the disease is being transferred. You may call it the 'treasure', the 'tradition', but it is a disease. It is a disease because no one becomes healthy through it. The whole society goes more and more neurotic. And a child is so simple, so innocent, that he can be conditioned into contradictory ways. By the time he realizes the contradiction it is too late. And it happens that almost your whole life is lost, and you never realize that you are mounted on two horses. Think about this contradiction and find it, try to find it in your life. You will find millions of contradictions there -- you are a confusion, a mess, a chaos. Look at the so-called religious man: he is more confused than the worldly because new horses have been added. The man who lives in the market, the world of the market, is less confused because he may have many horses, but at least they all belong to this world; at least one thing is the same, similar -- they all belong to this world. And this religious man, he has so many horses: those which belong to this world and some new horses he has added which don't belong to this world. He has created a greater rift: the other world, God, the kingdom of God, and he continues to move in this world. He becomes more confused, more conflict arises in his being. He is rent apart, he is not together; every fragment is falling apart, all his togetherness is gone -- this is what neurosis is. The way you are brought up is wrong, but nothing can be done now because you have already been brought up, you cannot move back. So you have to understand it and drop it through understanding. If you drop it because I say so, then you will add more horses. If you drop it through understanding -- because you understand the whole thing and hence it is dropped -- then no more horses will be added. On the contrary, old horses will be released to their freedom, so they can move and reach their goals... and you can move and reach your own goal. For not only are you in difficulty, your horses are also in very great difficulty because of you; they cannot reach anywhere either. Have pity on yourself and on your horses, both. But this should be done through understanding -- your understanding, not my teaching or Jesus' or Buddha's. They can show the path, but if you follow without understanding you will never reach the goal. Now try to understand. JESUS SAID: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER. Why is it impossible, and what is impossibility? An impossibility is not something which is very difficult, no. Howsoever difficult a thing may be it is not impossible, you can achieve it. By impossibility is meant something which cannot be achieved whatsoever you do; there is no way, no possibility to do it. When Jesus says impossible he means impossible, he doesn't mean very difficult -- and you are trying to do the impossible. What will happen? It cannot be done, but you will be undone through it. It cannot be done, but what will happen to you who have been making an effort to do the impossible? You will fall apart. It is not possible to do it, but doing it, you are undoing your own life. This will happen, this has happened. Look at people who doubt. Have you seen a man who has doubt and who does not have faith? If you see a man who only has doubt you will see he cannot live, it is impossible to live. Go to the madhouses: there you will find people who have doubts about everything. Then they cannot even move, because they doubt even a simple action. A man who doubts cannot move innocently. Before he moves he will think, and sometimes he will think so much that the opportunity is lost. That's why thinkers never do much. They cannot act, they become simply cerebral, because before action they must decide, they must come to a conclusion; and they cannot come to a conclusion, so how can they act? Then it is better not to act, and wait. But life will not wait for you. Or you become faithful, believing, a blind man. Then anybody, any politician, any madman, any pope, any priest can lead you anywhere. They themselves are blind, and when the blind lead the blind there is bound to be catastrophe. What to do? Reasoning says, ordinary reasoning says, "Make a compromise." Just understand the problem and get down from both horses -- don't make any compromise. Then a totally different sort of being, a totally different quality to your consciousness happens. But why are you not doing that? -- because that quality needs alertness, that quality needs awareness. Then you need not doubt anybody, you simply have to be fully alert. Your alertness will be the protection against exploitation. If a fully alert man looks at you, you cannot deceive him; his very look will disarm you. And if he allows exploitation, it is not because you are cunning and cheating him, but because he is kind and allows you. You cannot cheat a fully alert man. It is impossible because he looks through you, you are transparent; he has such consciousness that you are transparent. If he allows you to cheat him it is because of his compassion. You cannot cheat him. This consciousness seems to be difficult; that's why you have chosen the impossible. But the impossible is impossible -- you only make believe that it can happen; it has never happened, it will never happen. You have chosen the impossible because it looks easier. Compromise always looks easier -- whenever you are in difficulty you compromise. But compromise never helps anybody, because compromise means two contraries will exist within you; they will always be in tension and they will divide you. And a divided man can never be happy. This is what Jesus means, but Christians have misunderstood him. Christians have completely missed Jesus, because the mind goes on interpreting. What have they interpreted? They think Jesus is saying, "Choose one horse! Either this world or that -- choose one! Don't mount two horses, because you will be in difficulty and it is impossible. So choose one horse." That's what they have come to conclude and interpret. Your mind sticks to its own conclusions, because if one conclusion is lost, your confidence is lost. So whatsoever the situation you stick to your conclusions. That gives you ground for your ego and your mind to stand on. Your reasoning can be suicidal. It is! You think it is reasoning, but it is not reasoning, it is just deceiving -- deceiving yourself. But you don't want to lose ground, you want to be confident; and all confidence that comes through mind is false, because mind cannot give you confidence. It can only give you false things, it can only supply you with false things. It has not got the real thing with it, it is just a shadow. Mind is just thoughts, shadows, nothing substantial in it. But it can go on playing rationalizations, and you will feel good. Christians miss the whole point. They think Jesus is saying, "Choose!" Jesus can never say, "Choose!" -- Jesus means choicelessness. ... Because if you choose, the choosing mind is strengthened, not destroyed; the mind which is choosing becomes stronger through the choice. No, it is not a question of choice. And through choice you can never be total, because you have to deny something. If you choose faith you will have to deny doubt. Where will this doubt go? It is not something outward that you can throw, it is deep in you. Where will it go? You can simply close your eyes, that's all; you can simply repress it in the unconscious, that's all. But it is there, like a worm, eating your consciousness. It will be there, and someday or other it will come to the surface. What can you do? How can you drop it? If you choose doubt, where will your faith go? It is part of you. So compromise will happen: you will become an amalgam of many things somehow put together; not a synthesis but a compromise. Jesus means quite the contrary. He means, "Don't choose." IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER. Look at the last phrase: ... OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER. If you choose one, you honor the one and offend the other -- and the offended part of you will take revenge, it will become rebellious. Jesus is not saying, "Choose one against the other." If you choose one against the other, the other part will be offended, and the offended part of your being will take revenge. And it makes it very difficult, it makes life almost impossible to live. The more you try to live with one part, the more the other part disturbs all your planning, all your scheming; it comes up again and again. Then what to do? The way, the thing to be done, is not to choose. The thing is to understand the whole contradiction of your being. Not choosing, but becoming choiceless; not dropping one against the other -- because you cannot drop one aspect of a thing. You have a rupee coin, it has two aspects. You cannot drop one aspect, you cannot drop one side of it. You may not like the other side, but you have to carry both; if you want to carry one you have to carry two, then the whole rupee will be with you. The only thing that you can manage is that you can hide the aspect you don't like, and the aspect you like you can put on the surface, that's all. That's how the conscious and the unconscious are created. The conscious is that part, that horse that you like, and the unconscious is that horse, that part that you don't like. The conscious is that which you have chosen, the unconscious is that against which you have chosen. These are the two churches -- the one you go to and the one you don't go to. Otherwise, in a man like Buddha, the conscious and the unconscious both disappear, because he has not chosen for, he has not chosen against. The whole coin drops. And only the whole coin can drop, half can never be dropped. If you do that, your being will be divided: the dropped, the repressed, the denied part will become the unconscious; the accepted, the welcomed part will become the conscious. And then there will be a continuous struggle between the conscious and the unconscious. But you are still mounted on two horses. The only way is to drop the whole thing, and the secret is not in dropping -- because dropping can also become a choice. This is the most complex and subtle thing: you can drop, and choose dropping against not dropping -- then again there are two horses. No, this is to be done through understanding. Dropping is not the thing, understanding is the thing. Understand the whole madness: what you have done to yourself, what you have allowed to happen to yourself, what type of contradictions you have been accumulating -- just see through the whole thing. Don't be for and against, don't condemn, don't judge -- just look through the whole thing that you are. Don't hide, don't offend, don't judge: "This is good and that is bad." Don't evaluate. Don't be a judge but just an onlooker, detached, a witness. Just see the whole thing that you are, whatsoever you are; whatsoever mess you are in, just see it as it is. Suddenly, an understanding arises which becomes the dropping. It is just as if you have been trying to enter a wall, and suddenly you become aware that this is a wall and there is no door. Do you need to drop the effort now? You simply move! That movement is simple, it is not for and against -- you simply understand that this is absolutely useless, impossible. That is the meaning of Jesus: you simply look; it is impossible, you move. There is no choice on the part of the mind, you don't make any effort. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND TO STRETCH TWO BOWS, AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER. The ordinary meaning will be, "Choose one master, don't choose two." But through choice you will never be whole, so it is not a question of choosing one master against another, because you will still remain a slave, you cannot be free. Only choicelessness can give you freedom. Then you don't choose, you simply drop the whole effort -- it drops by itself when you understand. Then you are the master. When the impossible effort is gone, anxiety disappears, then you are no longer in anguish. And when you are no longer in anguish, bliss arises. Bliss is not something to be achieved. You only have to create the capacity. When you are not in anguish, bliss happens. You have created the capacity, you have opened the door and the sunrays enter and fill you. As you are, anxiety-ridden, divided, mounted on two horses, trying to stretch two bows together, you are schizophrenic, you are ill, you are wavering. Or, at the most, you have made a compromise and you have become normally neurotic. A normal being somehow carries on his work; the neurosis does not come in the way, that's all -- an adjusted citizen, that's all. But it is not worthwhile. Even if you are an adjusted citizen, a good citizen, a normal human being, no ecstasy will happen to you. You will remain sad, and whatsoever you achieve in this world will give you more sadness. Look at the people who have succeeded, who are ahead of you, who have reached the top, and you will see they are more sad than people who are not so successful -- because their hope is lost. In a poor country there is not so much madness. People can still hope. And when you can hope, nothing comes up -- you go on running and running. When the goal is achieved, then you stand still and you have to look at yourself and at what a mess you have created in your being, what chaos. You suddenly go out of your mind. You have always been out of your mind, but it is revealed when you succeed, because when there is no more to dream about, you have to encounter yourself. As you are, bliss is not possible, happiness is impossible. You can only hope for it and tolerate the pain, the suffering that you have brought upon yourself. But bliss is possible; it has happened to a Jesus, to a Buddha, it can happen to you -- but then you have to leave the impossible aside. Think of the natural, the possible, the easy. Don't think of the impossible, the difficult, the challenging. The ego always likes to do the impossible, but it is a failure, it has to be a failure. But the ego likes to take the challenge of the impossible, because then you feel you are something. Against an impossible goal you become a great fighter. And religion is simple, easy, natural -- it is not riding on a horse at all. It is just a morning walk not going anywhere. Just walking is the end; not doing anything in particular, just enjoying the morning breeze, the sun, the birds -- just enjoying yourself.

you came onto this world as a baby, crying your heart out, laughing your heart out. radiating a purity beyond this world a jewel of innocence and light, then you grow up and toke on the pains of this world. status starts to matter, distinction appears, confrontation, conflict, superiority, inferiority,fear...you were sub-merged in negative energy and its qualities. But that was your choice as a spiritual being, to learn and to grow from all this. Now that we're trying to rise let's take a look at the mind. Imagine someone, running. That person is running along a track. And you keep shouting things at that person. As the person turns left you shout : ''I'm gonna turn to the left now.'' As you see the person getting tired you shout : ''I'm starting to feel tired''. As you see the sun going down in the far distance you shout : ''the sun is going down now.'' That person starts to identify with your voice, your narrative. When the person is starting to doubt you, you do everything you can to maintain your existence. So now the person is interested in spirituality and is in a feeling state of investigation towards you. You cannot betray yourself, you have to play along even if you don't want the person to investigate you. you have to narrate his investigation otherwise it will be obvious you are a foreign existence to that person. So you shout : ''hmm, am I real, is this voice I'm hearing real?'' ''is the mind real?'' You start playing along. For the sake of maintaining your existence you play the part. You're an incredible actor. But you do well to steer the person in thinking you're real, at every chance you have, you strike with absolute intent. When the person feels sad or rejected you shout : ''no one likes me, they don't truly love me, I'm all alone'' The more a person feels disconnected from their surrounding the more they retract inside, they share less with others, they stifle their real selves and turn to your for identity. You feed them your garbage : ''I shouldn't show my real emotions otherwise I'll get hurt, I'll act friendly with this person,I'll use them, but with this person I'll try to control them. I shouldn't do that. I'll get hurt. That person is bad. That thing is bad. Those people are bad. I'm bad, unworthy but he's even more unworthy'' And as time goes, the narrative isn't the one adapting itself to the person. It's the person adapting itself to the narrative. The narrative needs conflict and distinction and will feed it to you in masses because in happiness, in bliss there is never any thinking. there is being. love is connection, it's freedom, it's space, to feel free and home wherever you are,to feel united with everything, it's expansion The mind is fear, it's contraction, it's distinction, it's crippling, it's crimping, it's retraction. intelligence is not absolute, it's a gradient, love is of higher intelligence and fear is of lower intelligence. Just as you have higher levels inside yourself you you also have lower levels. Fear is the pathway to lower intelligence while love is the path to higher intelligence. with this we can start deconstructing the mind as we understand it's purpose. If you are completely happy and fulfilled you will not be thinking most of the time, as you are too busy enjoying yourself. So the mind needs war, needs conflict to exist, so that you can start planning your ''defense''. And it will do everything it can to make you believe you're in a war with your own world, just so that it can survive. The less you know, the less you believe you can do, the more you feel like you're lacking control and resources, the more you feel like you need to gain control and resources, the more aggressive and violent you become. that's why the mind is of lower intelligence and of negative energy. It is not only that, it is a gateway to more of that. That's how people spiral out of control in murder, rape, war...they spiritually descent. It cannot embody love because it is not intelligent enough to do so. and when it does it's merely playing along. to make your mind think positive is to literally destroy it, which is why it's so hard to hold positive thoughts. Fear is the manifestation of negative energy, which leads to lower intelligence, less understanding, makes you believe in lack of control,and leads you downright to conflict and pain. Love is the manifestation of positive energy, higher intelligence and understanding. leads you upright to divinity That's why I say that intelligence is not static. You can higher or lower your intelligence at will depending on which energy you try to tune into. it's your choice there's no such thing as IQ scores in my book. they're merely a construct of the mind to bring division and confusion, making you believe your intelligence is static. Now to crack down on the mind is to see it's vulnerabilities. the cracks in the shields. The mind is of fear and cannot coexist with love so all it's vulnerabilities will show up when confronted to love. Have you ever heard you mind say ''we should kill that person or I wish that person would die'' and then you'd feel in your heart something completely different, you'd almost feel guilt and shock for that thought? Or if your mind constantly makes you feel rejected and you get tired of it at some point, tired of your own mind. That's what happens in depression, people's mind go haywire and it starts becoming very obvious that the mind is not working in their favor 'anymore'. The mind didn't go ''sick'', it was always sick, it merely stopped trying to hide its negative intent and be so subtle about it, as it grew stronger it just downright spiraled out of control. The ''ascension'' of the mind always ends in death, either suicide or murder. It is pure negative energy. The mind cannot co-exist with love. As you try to make yourself believe you're worthy of self-love, of divine ascension, of enlightenment, it will do everything it can to make you doubt it's possible or to make you feel unworthy. the mind cannot co-exist with higher intelligence. You think when you do math in your head, that your mind is helping you. No it's merely narrating what's already happening.On the contrary it's slow your abilities down to a crisp. You are able to do math instantly and effortlessly at higher levels of spirituality. Einstein said his greatest discoveries came ''out of nowhere'' upon himself.that they came to him as flashes of insight. As many other great scientists. As many great artists. We know that creativity is higher intelligence itself. Could anyone every think himself into painting something like leonardo davinci? Think yourself into making music like your favorite music artist? the proof is right in front of our eyes, our mind cannot and will never grasp concepts of higher intelligence. whether it's math,or science,or art, when you think the mind serves a purpose it's merely an illusion. Einstein theories came ''upon'' him because his mind couldn't grasp the concepts of it and make a narrative for it. They didn't come out of nowhere, they came out of himself, but the absence of the narrative, the vulnerability of the mind showed. The mind cannot make a narrative for what it doesn't understand. Which is why as you grow spiritually , your mind will automatically stop because your intelligence, your perspective, your actions will be completely incomprehensible to it. and if you want to grow, understand that fear in any form absolutely feeds the mind while love feeds your soul. To love is to expand, to understand, to feel free, there's nothing to fear if you understand everything, but to understand you must first love edit: I also have an exercise for you to show you directly in experience how slow and unintelligent the mind is compared to yourself. Try to walk,not automatically, but with thoughts. Plan your every move.Your every step.Plan the movement of your muscles. ''Move quadriceps, lift knee, lift knee, lift foot to the right, shift core....'' Sounds like madness right?Well try it and feel for yourself, how inept the mind is and how incredibly intelligent you are without it. How ungodly slow would it be to walk using your mind? That is what is going on with all of us. Walking our lives using our minds. It is incredibly slow and unintelligent, you can feel the immense difference for yourself in this exercise if you try it. Carefully planning our decisions and feelings, to ''plan'' is to breakdown your native intelligence to breadcrumps. How would you go through life if you stop using your mind for everything and just let yourself flow, the same way you flow when you walk? Your speed would be a thousand times higher...as your awareness is faster, your intelligence magnified to unimaginable heights, time slows down as you become aware of everything. That is being in the present moment, to not think, to not use your mind, is to accelerate, and to slow down everything, to transcend time itself , to be free of all conflict, and be launched into blissful eternity