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I don't really believe that it will get more boring as we experience more of life. All that time would allow more time for the pursuit of enlightenment. I bet I could reach some kind of level no one had with enlightenment if I could live forever. Imagine the bliss. Also, the world is getting more complex as the days go on. Advancements in knowledge are improving. In Leonardo da Vinci's time, there could be renaissance people — people who are masters of several subjects. But as the years go by — people need to specialize more as it's harder and harder to master fields where information is growing rapidly. The most intelligent people in the world don't seem to have a problem of being bored from their speed in learning — there's always something interesting added to. With all that time — I can help out with solutions to world problems. As each generation comes, each generation has to learn the knowledge of its predecessors as they die off.. But if I live forever — I can just master knowledge and wisdom continuously. How awesome would that be?

@Annetta All hopes are false. To hope is to be false. So it is not a question of creating false hopes: whatsoever you can hope will be false. Hope comes out of your falsity of being. If you are real there is no need for any hope. Then you never think about the future, about what is going to happen. You are so real, so authentic that the future disappears. When you are unreal then the future becomes very significant, then you live in the future. Then your reality is not here and now, your reality is somewhere in your dreams. And you make those dreams look real because through those dreams you gain your reality. As you are, you are unreal. That's why so much hoping goes on. All hopes are false; you are real. My whole effort is how to throw you to yourself. And the ego is all false hopes combined together. Ego is not a reality, it is the collectivity of all your dreams, of all that is unreal, of all that is false. The ego cannot exist in the present. Look at this phenomenon. The ego exists either in the past or in the future, never here and now - never, never. That is impossible. Whenever you think of the past, the ego comes, the I comes. Whenever you think of the future, the I comes. But when you are here, not thinking of past and future, where is your I? Sitting under a tree, not thinking of past and future, just being there, where are you? Where is the I? You cannot feel it. It is not there. The ego has never existed in the present. Past is no more, future is yet to be. Both are not. Past has disappeared, the future has not yet appeared. Both are not. Only the present is and in the present nothing like the ego has ever been found. So when I say drop the ego, what do I mean? I am not giving you a new hope, I am taking all your hopes away. And that is the difficulty; you live through the hope, so you feel that if all hopes are taken away you will be dead. Then the question will arise: Why live? For what? Why move from one moment to another? For what? The goal has disappeared with the disappearance of the hope. So why go on and on if there is nowhere to reach? You cannot live without hope. That's why it is so difficult to drop the ego. Hope has become synonymous with life. So whenever a man is hoping he appears to be more vital, appears to be more alive, appears to be very strong. When he is not hoping he appears to be weak, depressed, thrown back to himself, not knowing what to do, where to go. And whenever there is no hope you feel meaninglessness come into you. Immediately you create another hope; a substitute is created. If one hope is frustrated, immediately another is substituted - because you cannot live in the gap. You cannot live hopelessly .And I tell you that that is the only way to live. Without any hope, life is real, for the first time life is authentic. So the second thing to be understood is: when I say it is easy to drop the ego, I don't mean that it will be easy for you to drop it; I mean it is easy to drop it because the very phenomenon of ego is so unreal. If the ego is false, how can it be difficult to drop it? If the dream is just a dream, how can it be difficult to come out of it? If it was real, then there would have been difficulty .If a dream is just a dream, where is the problem to come out of it? You can come out! The dream cannot catch hold of you. The dream cannot prevent you. The dream cannot become a barrier. The dream has no force - that's why we call it a dream. It is easy to come out of a dream. That's what I mean when I say it is easy to drop the ego. But I don't mean that it will be easy for you, because the dream is still a reality for you, it is not a dream. The ego is not false to you, it is the only reality. Everything else is false. We are living around the ego. We are seeking more and more egotistical journeys - somebody through wealth, somebody through status, power, prestige, somebody through politics, somebody through religion, priesthood. There are millions of ways. But the end, the result, the goal, is the same: seeking more and more the I, seeking more and more the ego. To you it is a reality, to you I say it is the only reality. The false has become the real. The shadow has become the substance. That's why it is difficult - not difficult because ego is very powerful, no; it is difficult because you still believe in it, in its power. If you believe in it, it is going to be difficult, because on the one hand you want to drop it, and on the other hand you go on clinging to it. It is going to be difficult .When I say to you it is a dream, you want to believe it because you have suffered so much through it, because you feel the truth of what I am saying. If you feel the truth of what I am saying you will drop it immediately. You will not ask how. There is no how to it. You see the point and you drop it. You don't see the truth of what I am saying. When I say it is not realized that the ego is false and can be dropped, when I say that the ego can be dropped, you create a hope out of it. Because you have been suffering so much through it, you create a hope that if the ego can be dropped then all suffering will be dropped. You become happy with this hope. I am not creating the hope, you are creating the hope. I am simply stating a fact that this is the construction of the ego. This is how an ego is structured, this is how an ego is created and this is how it can be dropped! And because it is false, no effort is needed. Just seeing the point it disappears. A man is running, scared, afraid to death, and running because of his own shadow. You stop him and tell him: You are foolish! This is your own shadow - nobody is following you and nobody is going to murder you. There is nobody except you. You have become scared of your own shadow. But once you start running the shadow also runs faster. The faster you run, the faster the shadow follows. Then the logical mind can say that you are in danger. And the logical mind will say: If you want to escape run faster and faster. But whatsoever you do the shadow will be following you. And if you cannot get rid of it, you will get more and more scared. You are creating the whole thing out of yourself. But if I say to you: This is just a shadow, nobody is following you, and you realize the point, you look at the shadow and you feel the point, will you ask me how to drop this shadow? Will you ask about some technique, method, some yoga, how to drop it? You will simply laugh. You have dropped it! In the moment you see that this is just a shadow and nobody is following you, it has been dropped already. There is no question of how. You will have a good laugh. The whole thing was nonsense. And the same happens with the ego. If you can see the truth of what I am saying, the thing has happened. In the very seeing of it the thing has happened. There is no more how to it .If you still ask how, the thing has not happened and you have not seen the point - but you have created a hope out of it. Because you have been suffering through this ego, you have always wanted to drop it, but this want has always been half of your mind. All your suffering has come through the ego, but all your pleasures have also come through the ego. A crowd applauds you, appreciates you - you feel good. That is the only bliss you have known. Your ego rises high, reaches to a peak, becomes an Everest. You enjoy it! And then the crowd condemns you and you feel hurt. The crowd becomes indifferent; you are crushed by it. You fall into a valley, a depression. You have been gaining pleasure through the ego, you have been suffering through it. Because of suffering you want to drop it, but because of pleasures you cannot drop it. So when I say that the ego can be dropped easily, hope is created in you. Not that I am creating it, your greed does that. It doesn't become a realization, it becomes a new greed, a new search for gratification. You feel that now there is a way, and there is a man who can help you to drop the ego and all the misery that ego creates. But are you ready to drop all the pleasures that the ego creates too? If you are ready it is such an easy thing - just like dropping a shadow. But you cannot half drop it, and you cannot half carry it. Either the whole will go or the whole will cling to you. This is the problem and this is the difficulty. All your pleasures and all your sufferings are related to only one phenomenon; you want to preserve the pleasures and you want to drop the sufferings. You are asking the impossible. Then it is difficult. Not only difficult, it is impossible. It is not going to happen to you. Whatsoever you do will be futile, no result will come of it. You create hope out of it, a heaven, the intense blissfulness of a Buddha. Listening to me or listening to a Jesus or a Buddha, hope is created. But I am not creating it, you are creating it. You are projecting hope on it. And this is the problem, the complexity: every hope is food for the ego again. Even this hope of reaching a paradise, a heaven, becoming enlightened, is a hope. And every hope is food for the ego. Who is trying to become enlightened? The one who is trying to become enlightened is the problem. Nobody ever becomes enlightened. Enlightenment happens, but nobody ever becomes enlightened. When the room is empty, enlightenment happens. When there is nobody to reach enlightenment, enlightenment is there. Because of our language, because of the duality of the language, whatsoever is said about such deep things becomes false. We say: Gautam Buddha became enlightened. This is false. Gautam Buddha never became enlightened. Gautam Buddha was the unenlightenment. When he was not there, when he became absent, enlightenment happened. When suddenly one day he realized that he was following an absurd pattern, when he realized: I am the problem, so whatsoever I do will create more problems.... It is not a question of doing right or wrong, this or that. WHATSOEVER you do will strengthen the ego. Once Buddha realized this - but this realization took many years of effort - when he realized that: Whatsoever I do will help my ego more and more, he simply dropped doing. In that moment of realization he simply became a non-doer, absolutely inactive. Remember, this is the problem: you can even create activity out of your inactivity, or you can create activity just to help inactivity come to you. But then you miss. You can stand still, you can sit silently, but if you are making an effort to stand still, your standing is false. You are not standing, you are moving. If you are sitting silently and there is effort, if you are trying to be silent, that silence is false. You are not silent. When Buddha realized that he was the problem, and that every activity of his gave more substance to the ego, he simply dropped. Then he was not making any effort to create a non-active state. He was not doing at all. Whatsoever was happening was happening. The wind was blowing, and the tree must have been dancing; then came the full moon, and the whole existence was celebrating. And the breathing coming in, going out, and the blood circulating in the veins, and the heart beating, and the pulse - and everything was happening! But he was not doing anything. In this non-doing Gautam Siddhartha disappeared. By the morning there was no one to receive enlightenment, but enlightenment was there. Under that bodhi tree a vacant vehicle was sitting - breathing of course, heart beating of course, better than ever. Everything functioning perfectly, but no doer there. Blood circulating, the whole existence around - alive, dancing. Every atom in Buddha's body dancing, alive. It had never been so alive, but now energy moving of its own accord - nobody pushing it, nobody manipulating it. Buddha became a white cloud. Enlightenment happened. It can happen to you also, but don't create any hope out of it. Rather, seeing the point, drop all hopes. Become hopeless, perfectly hopeless. It is difficult to become perfectly hopeless. Many times you reach hopelessness but it is never perfect. One hope drops, you feel hopelessness. But immediately, to cover it up, you create another hope. And hopelessness is gone. People go on moving from one master to another; that is movement from one hope to another. They go to one master with hopes that he will give through his grace, that through his energy the thing will happen. Then they try, then they wait, with a very strained mind, because a mind which hopes can never be at ease; with a very impatient mind, because a mind which is filled with hope cannot be patient. And then they start feeling uneasy because the thing is not happening. So this master is wrong, they must move to someone else. This is not movement from one master to another, this is movement from one hope to another. People move from one religion to another; there are conversions just because of hope. You can go on doing it for many, many lives. You have been doing that. Now, try to see the point! It is neither a question of a master nor a question of a right method. It is a question of a direct insight, an immediate penetration into the phenomenon of what is happening, of why you hope, of why you can't be without hope. And what have you gained out of all your hoping? See it. It drops by itself. You are not even required to drop it. That's why I say it is easy, and I know well it is very difficult. Difficult because of you, easy because of itself. The phenomenon is easy, you are difficult. And this can happen any moment. When I say this can happen any moment, I mean the phenomenon of enlightenment, of egolessness, is not caused by anything. No cause is needed. It is not an outcome of many causes, it is not a by-product. It is simple insight. It can happen to a sinner; it may not happen to a saint. So no necessary condition is needed really. If he can see, it can happen even to a sinner. If he becomes hopeless, if he feels that there is nothing to be gained and achieved, if he comes to see that the whole thing is just an absurd game, it can happen .It may not happen to a saint because the saint goes on trying to achieve. He is not yet hopeless. This world has become futile, but another world has become meaningful. He realizes that he has to leave this earth, but there are heavens beyond - he has to reach there. And even people near a Jesus or Buddha go on asking things like this. Just on the last night when Jesus was going to be caught and the next day killed, his disciples asked him: Master, tell us. In the Kingdom of God, when you are sitting on the right side of God's throne, what will our positions be there? Where will we be sitting, in what order? God sitting on his throne, Jesus on his right side, the only begotten Son, and then these twelve disciples: Where will we be sitting and what will be the order? People around Jesus asking such a foolish question! But this is how human mind is. They don't ask anything of this world - they have become beggars - but they ask of the other world. They are not really beggars, they are hoping. They have staked this world, but it is a bargain; where will we be there? Who will be sitting next to you? There must have been competition among those twelve disciples. There must have been politics, ambition, somebody up, somebody down, somebody becoming the chief. There must have been much conflict, inner politics, undercurrents of violence and aggression. Even with Jesus one starts hoping. Hope is deep-rooted in you. Whatsoever is said, you convert it into a hope. You are a hope-creating mechanism, and this hope-creating mechanism is the ego. So what is to be done? In fact, there is nothing to be done. You only need clearer eyes, more perceptive eyes, more penetrating eyes. All that is needed is to have a fresh look about you, your being, at whatsoever you have been doing, hoping - a fresh look. And I say to you, in that fresh look, in that innocent look, ego drops by itself, of its own accord. It is the easiest phenomenon, and at the same time the most difficult. But remember well, I am not creating any hope in you. Osho ~ My Way The Way of the White Clouds

Meditation is just a tool, albeit a very effective one! In the end it is not about meditation but about YOU! The greatest benefit that can occur from meditation is the realization that you don't need any benefits because everything is perfect just as it is. More shiny benefits I experienced: Clarity, peace of mind, states of flow (in day to day life, bliss states, tranquility, insights, awakening, concentration, relaxation, having a thing in my life that is independent from outer circumstances Tip 1: From the place you are at, I would say it is best to get motivated by those shiny benefits. Just keep in the back of your mind that in the end it is not about them. They come as a reward of your willingness to look at yourself very very very closely and be brutally honest with yourself. Once you experience those benefits and you cling to them, then what you should look at next is, "What is the root of you wanting to hold on to those benefits". Tip 2: As I said meditation is just a tool. In the end it is about what you do (or not do) with what you see while you meditate. Enlightenment can occur after 2 years of meditation or you can meditate for 40 years and still cling to ideas, concepts and beliefs. Tip 3: Start out with developing your concentration abilities. Which means choose an object to focus on (breath, candle, fingertips ...) and focus on it for a given time period. When your mind wanders and you realize it. Focus back on the object. Don't get angry with yourself, be gentle and practice daily

That which can be said can be said through prose. How will you say that which cannot be said if you don't have poetry? It is the language of what cannot really be said, that language that you speak so as not to have to be completely silent, the language of emotion and ecstasy. THESE SMALL POEMS OF IKKYU may not be very poetic - in fact, R. H. Blyth, writing about these DOKA of Ikkyu, says: "Ikkyu's little poems are not of great poetical value, yet they portray for us a man of deep sincerity, too honest perhaps to be a great Lyrical poet." The purpose is not poetry. The purpose is to convey something which cannot be conveyed through ordinary language. The poetry is being used as a vehicle, remember it. Don't think in terms of literature: think in terms of ecstasy. Take it easy ~ Vol 1 ~ Osho You can find in Buddha's utterances, poetry—bound to be there. Many times while Buddha is expressing himself, he becomes poetic. The realm of ecstasy, the realm of ultimate knowing, is so beautiful, the temptation is so much to become poetic, the beauty is such, the benediction is such, the bliss is such, one starts talking in poetic language. But Patanjali resists that. It is very difficult. No one has been able to resist. Jesus, Krishna, Buddha they all become poetic. The splendor, the beauty, when it explodes within you, you will start dancing, you will start singing. In that state you are just like a lover who has fallen in love with the whole universe. Yoga: The Alpha and the Omega ~ Osho Whenever an enlightened person speaks, whatsoever he speaks is poetry and beautiful. Just the way he is, whatsoever comes out of him resounds him, carries him, the fragrance. But that is not to the point. Don’t be lost in the poetry, because poetry belongs to the form and the truth is formless. The way Sosan says things is beautiful and poetic, but remember, don’t be lost in his poetry. Don’t be lost in the poetry of the Upanishads, of the Gita, of the sayings of Jesus. In itself the form is beautiful but that is not to the point. Move into what the content is, not the container. Hsin Hsin Ming: The Book of Nothing ~ Osho Only poetry can give a few glimpses of the unknown.It is said that wherever Buddha moved, trees would start blooming out of season. Now, this is poetry, pure poetry; it did not happen as a fact. But this shows something; there is no other way to say it. It says whenever Buddha is contacted, even trees start blooming out of season — so what to say about man?

All fears and doubts you may carry will come up, sooner or later, when having a "bad trip". Something like that: Some time ago, my tripsitter left the room for 15 min to have a smoke, and my mood hit rock bottom. I was 100% sure she is calling the cops and the mental hospital right now because Iam going insane, my family will know, everyone will know. Life is over, no way out, pure existential terror. This was on a high dose of shrooms, though. Still, made me stronger If you are ready for some distress (but also heavenly bliss and beauty), start low. Get educated about the substance first. Inner work certainly is requiered, especially if you have any sort of trauma or mental problems.

Hi Guys! I became more of a reader than a writer in this little community, but the experience I had while combining these two psychedelics was extremely unexpected and remarkable. I need to communicate this to you. Please keep an open mind while reading this, i promise to keep it as short as possible. What did I take? 5 gramms cracker -dry shrooms (regular cubensis), a nice dose by itself 5 gramms of syrian rue seeds, made into a tea, one hour before the shrooms. This is a legal plant you can buy everywhere. Psychoactive by itself, natural anti-depressant, MAO-Inhibitor (Please google that stuff before trying anything! Research is a must here). Previous experiences: I did this combination before, 3 gramms of shrooms + 3 gramms of rue. It was roughly comparable to a "regular" shrooms trip, a bit more mellow and clear, but came in "shockwaves" of mind boggling intensity which left me laughting, screaming and speechless at the same time, basically an insane rollercoaster ride of insights, feelings, emotions, love. A great experience overall which lasted 12 hours total, and much stronger than a regular 3 gramm dose of shrooms would have been (tried it, same batch). Actual report: Ambitiously, i upped the dose to 5gr/5gr. Online reports suggested that all hell would brake loose on me. The come-up was totally normal, the energy boiled up in me, everything was as you would expect it to be at the beginning of a heavy dose. I was meditating as always, exited and a little scared, ready to face the first crushing wave of psychedelic mindfuck, or whatever the shrooms wanted me to see. My mind was going increasingly wild, lots of visuals etc. Then, Nothingness happend. I went back to baseline. The usual effects of the drugs almost completely disappeared, and my mind was totally silent. I felt complete! bliss and peacefulness, but not in a drug-induced way, but one that was unmistakably grounded in reality. PLEASE notice: I was able to think perfectly straight, pretty much acted and felt like a sober person, but all that monkey-mind was utterly crushed. I was super aware of everything that was going on. All my concepts and ideologies where thrown out of the window, for good, I was unable to even access them. This was awesome beyond belief, and I instinctively knew: Iam enlightended! Please, dont get me wrong: This was not a conceptual idea, I did not even think about enlightenment for days before this experience. I just knew that this is the real deal. I kept on meditating for 5 hours straight, only going to the toilet once in a while, feeling totally in sync with the universe. I looked up into the sky the whole time, feeling the connection and closeness to... everything. I was physically unable to create deeper concepts and forced to live in the now. The next five hours, I wandered trough a huge, beautiful graveyard with my tripsitter. It was... heartbreaking. You cant imagine the beauty of nature if you are unable to make concepts of it! I felt in love with the beauty of trees in the sunset, my tripsitter, and myself, over and over again. We had deep and insightful conversations, with complete ego-less talk, at least on my side. What a difference! I was here. in the now, with a direct connection to "God" (=nothingness), with no signs of a regular "Trip" at all. Aftermath To keep it short, the drugs wore off (sure they did), but I still feel the effects today (Two weeks after), truly life-changing stuff. I finally know what it physically feels like to be "Awake" and in the now. I keep practicing this state, especially when surrounded by people, chaos, and life. This is the real work! Meditating when going on with daily life was never more possible for me. I no longer feel that I am this person writing here, and totally fine with it. I "chase" after every little glimpse of this enlightened state, whenever I can. Monkey Mind is back, but life has become a lot better (while staying the same, curiously). This description does not give credit to the experience. At all. But sharing seemed appropriate. Have a wonderful weekend guys.

I don’t even know where to start with all of this. Just the thought of writing down what I went through seems so incredibly ridiculous and meaningless. I do it anyway as a form of contemplation and sorting things out in my messy fucked up head. I took 3g of dried shrooms in a tea. I was very excited and had also a bit of fear in the back of my mind. I tried to run from it, it felt like a very heavy pressure. Like it became physically present. Instead of sweeping it under the rug, I decided to face it rightaway. Then everything became blurry and frantic. I stood up and started walking through the house. It was a very fast paced, possessed and almost maniac type of walking. Circling between the livingroom, the kitchen and my room, aimlessly. I felt like something was running after me and constantly watching me. I repeatedly heard knocking on the door, footsteps on the next floor. I felt observed and the constant urge to check my surroundings. Actually pretty much the definition of paranoid. I was scared to my bones. (Of What? That someone could see me being in such a state of madness? Of never coming back to normal again? What the fuck is normal?) I talked to myself in the mirror: who am I? What is this? What am I doing? Where am I going? Is there somewhere to go? Am I going insane? What is insanity? Am I destined to be insane forever? I found myself asking WHAT THE FUCK? repeatedly. Nothing made sense anymore. Then I felt this very primal fear of being „different“, being labeled as „crazy“. And I felt crushed: does what others think about me still affect me so much? But admitting this extreme fear of being a social outcast, as much as it hurt, as much it felt like I was physically and mentally going insane, was also a heavenly release which made me bend on my knees. I don’t know why, but this bending on my knees seems to be a returning pattern in my trip. I often found myself on my knees, completely overwhelmed. Times crying out my pained soul, times laughing tears of joy. Which by the way merged into one ecstatic feeling. On my highest peaks sadness became joy, pain became sweet, my desperation became security and my deepest fear became absolute bliss. I apologize for my report being frantic and hard to follow logically, but the thought of sorting everything and writing things down in a chronological order just seems so ridiculous to my eyes know. At the beginning of the trip I repeatedly looked at my watch, to check how long I was into it. I suddenly felt like a fucking slave to everything: my social obligations (friends, family), the educational system (my professors, my exams, my university), the society as a whole. I felt like I was choking on my time schedule. Like a pressure to DO things. All the time. This constant DOING and being productive (studying, training, even eating and washing myself) made me feel sick and submitted. Most of all I felt a slave to time itself. How silly! To let my life being dictated from something as ridiculous as a clock! I took my watch off and instantly felt freed up. I realized that I don’t do things for the sake of doing them. But for results. I want something from them, I am completely attached to my results like a baby to its fucking blanket. Just realizing how much of a slave to time, others and my own thoughts I am, made me feel so fucking good that I started rolling around on the pavement like a child. It was a constant cycle between searching, wanting, doing, possessing (so fucking painful!) and letting go, absolution and release (such a never ending bliss!) I constantly wanted to write down what I was feeling. I wanted to take all my realizations (so many! they came flying at me like bullets, hitting me everywhere) and bring them to paper. But I failed again and again to label things. No words came to my mind. Absolutely impossible to describe. Then I realized that my need to label things and thoughts was actually destroying them! Taking the beauty out of the experience. (It felt like I finally understood the SPRACHKRISE/SPRACHSKEPSIS Rainer Maria Rilke, Hugo von Hoffmannsthal, Stephan George and Ludwig Wittgenstein where referring to. Better, I didn’t just understand it, I actually experienced that deep loss of words. Words, words, just words. Language completely failing to comprehend experience and BEING) I actually saw myself asking: you? you want to write those things down? and then laughing my arse off of my sheer stupidity. It was an absolute release. I also realized that I am neurotic and perfectionist. Always on the verge of doing, learning, grabbing, labeling. A constant struggle. I need more of this being, just being. It feels so silly to write it down, it seems pathetic and childish, naiv. Everyone is saying just be, carpe diem, be in the moment, just breathe, let go. But no one really, I mean REALLY IS. (just me rightnow writing this down is destroying the sheer nature of being, I know..) Everything in my mind was twisted. Thoughts became physical. I tried to get somewhere with my rational thinking, struggling with understanding. At one point I struggled with my web of beliefs (made out of „logic“) so much that I couldn’t handle it. I was choking on my oh so precious logic and rationality. It was an immense pain. But then I was on the verge…I let go of (thoughts, words, logic, rationality, sanity, knowledge) everything. I found myself rolling on the carpet, surrounded by bliss. I felt invincible. Like nothing could harm me because there simply was no one to harm. When I realized this, I found myself hugging a bucket on the floor, feeling very safe. When I thought I was coming down from the trip, I felt calm. My mind was chaotic, fuzzy, whirling…but it was ok the way it was. I can live with chaos and not knowing. I felt the urge to be outside, in nature. I went on the balcony, took in the bright sunshine, watched the trees moving in the wind. (it was a rather strange weather: hot, sunny, but also stormy.) The trees never looked so green and alive. The colors where saturated, bright. So beautiful. I felt strong. Something in me arouse, like a inherent power. (complete opposite of the fear I felt at the beginning of the trip) it sounds ridiculous, but I felt like a lioness. I started moving my body. Feeling into it. I don’t know if at that point I was still high or not. But I suddenly felt the urge to nourish my body. I ran into the kitchen and started eating fruits: hauled on the floor I ate them with my hands. I felt like a primate. They tasted so sweet, delicious. I was completely lost in the process of eating, like a raw experience of the taste and texture of the food. I had the image of a chimp in my mind. And I absolutely loved it. Then I started dancing. I don’t know if it actually deserves the term „dancing“: I was moving like an animal in the jungle, completely lost in a primal rhythm. It felt natural, just pouring out of me. I just didn’t care anymore at that point. The term which describes it best, is RAW. Well, there is still a lot to process in my mind. Writing it down already helped me a lot. I already feel some 'sober' insights coming to me (where the fuck do they actually come from?): I am neurotic and perfectionist. I constantly want to label everything. I am addicted to thoughts, knowledge and doing. I am a slave to time, schedule, work, and rationality. I really need to just experience things for the sake of experiencing. Detach from results and wants. (the famous l’art pour l’art) I often am uncomfortable in my own body (stiff and afraid of moving, rigid), live too much in my head and worry about others. I need to give this animal urge I have inside of me more freedom. It sounds so silly, but doing that chimp dance took me out of my mental prison (=thoughts). If you came to this point, thanks for reading. Any thoughts? Similar experiences? I feel excited to elaborate all those insights.

Are all negative emotions, like anger, jealousy, sadness, just all illusions made by the ego? I think Leo once said that our default emotions are all the way of bliss, happiness etc. And to all the videos of Leo, what are the top 5 successful ways to fend off such negative emotions?

I came to this conclusion while rolling. It's literally that simple... but at the same time pretty damn difficult. It was easy to see how much I avoid just being during my peak. It's actually quite funny, when in that state of pure love, happiness, bliss, my ego was constantly on the move to be doing something. Whether it be gritting my teeth, resisting through my body, repeating the same tasks over and over again like opening and closing my laptop, fridge, pantry, running around in circles basically. Why is that I asked? Because we're not content with just straight being yet... haha. So I'm like a fucking bowling ball tumbling through this big hallway of mirrors still trying to seek stuff out. Why though? Anything we try to seek out is already right here right fucking now! I think I am done seeking but only time will tell. It's pretty damn easy to become unconscious of this again, but I'm pretty sure I saw the fork in the road. We are just being, and that is all!

Talks of realms. While you know only this one is pointless, and talks of this realm being a hell. Even more so. Calling this planet, the lives in it, and the suffering in it an illusion. Is itself an illusion. Suffering exists. So do egos. They are very real, however you can get rid of both and live in bliss if you so choose. "After satori one might think mountains are no longer mountains, and trees are no longsr trees, but after enlightenment. Mountains are once again moutains and trees are once again trees"

*points at you* there you are I found you! see? you are right here right now. you are a mind, you are a body, you are suffering and you are bliss, you are your home and your family, you are your town your country the world you are the universe. you are I. you want to stop suffering - I suggest accept it, not in nihilistic glee no. but realise that you have coexisted with it before and yet you remain while it fades in and out of existence. so just allow it to be, notice it but as an observer. be patient with it, meditation at its core is just patience and attention. if you can't exercise that through meditation, practice it whenever you remember it. when you brush your teeth, wait for a meeting, in the moment. over time it will strengthen.

Some help for my low conscious self ❤ You have a resistance to mindfulness; a little resentment. But I think a lot of the time mindfulness is actually the one thing you need. Of course, as will always be said, when you're in it, it feels so much bigger; you can't understand it properly. The painbody: it's like a blaring screetch of stress that blinds you from all proper rationality or sanity and worst of all the only way you can express how it's making you feel when it's absorbed you is with the kind, welcoming words of "FUCK OFF!!" The alternative is silence and stillness. I'm saying this not academically as just words or in theory but from where I am right now: in it. I'll use loads of different words for it: silence, stillness, not thinking, bliss, empty mind, conscious, accepting, surrendering/ed, present, not trapped in the painbody etc. so don't be so tight and cling to certain explanations as if they're all talking about different things. All this advise is always pointing the same way becsuse it comes from truth at some ingredient. Closemindedness is the main stumper here. Anywho, my help for you now is to focus on making your mind still. Your buzzing mind will try to avoid this. There are many ways to stop your mind. One way can be to play music and listen to it, focus on it, and don't expect yourself to feel any certain way about it. I've found myself, when Im feeling shit, not liking music that I usually like, because I'm actually in the back of my head expecting it to make me feel better when I listen to it, but by doing this I'm resisting how I feel at the time of listening to it, telling myself I should feel a certain way, which of course is not what you want to do. So you can use music to slow your head down so you can see how your emotions are going and usually it will be that you are expecting yourself to feel a certain way and are telling yourself off or resisting how you do feel because it's not the "perfect" way you should be feeling. Most of the problem seems to be not accepting how you feel right now, alongside worrying too much and focusing away from right now. Another way is simply just focusing on simply stress management because that's really what's going on: you want reality to be one way but it's not that way so you're freaking out; you feel you don't have control. Focus on your lack of control. Focus on how it makes you feel. Focus on your reluctance to focus on things that will help make you feel better. Just bring your focus to what you're feeling. Don't try to force feelings or hold onto them. But also if they are sticking around, don't try to kick them out; look them up and down. I really don't know what to type to help you but hopefully this can be enough to help you wake up. You already know all you need to know. You know how to get where you want to surrender to. I just hope you're able to when you need to.

Thank you for posting this. I am experiencing a kundalini awakening. It has been going on since November of last year. It has been a slow process and I can't seem to find the help I need around where I live. I felt it first in my third eye, and after that kept feeling each individual chakra every two months. I now feel the energy going through my body but not out of the crown of my head. There have been times where I feel like my head is being operated on and there are moments of bliss and love. Many emotional things are being resolved however I feel like there is so much much more to do. Once an emotion resolves, it feels like a piece of me (my ego) goes away. For me its a struggle because I have two kids and we are trying to move and make decisions but I am just going along with it. What is also confusing is I don't know if I will be awakened and enlightened or in a mental institution for the rest of my life. Does that make sense? My ego is definitely afraid. So once again, thank you for the post.

Enlightenment has occurred, without a shadow of a doubt. It is unmistakable. I have been going deeper & deeper for months. I am at the point where Infinity is getting very intense to deal with. Its happening right now and its not gona stop. There are waves of fear that keep coming, and I know that I am creating this, so do you have any words of advice please. I know I need to keep going forward, how can I make the love come & the fear go. I am having trouble sleeping at night time aswell because its very intense trying to go to sleep while the vibration of being is intense and I hear the humming of empty space in my ears. I know that this is a blessing and I have worked relentlessly for this, the seamless self image has almost stopped completely and I think that this is a permanent enlightenment this time. How can it not be! It is me. But its very intense. Is there a way I can bring forth the bliss & love more quickly?

@Annetta Modern man have to go through catharsis... Osho Catharsis simply means throwing out that which should be thrown out, throwing out that which should not be kept in. Now in ordinary life it is difficult. You cannot throw your anger everywhere and anywhere. You will get into so many difficulties. It will be too costly, and dangerous too. You need a special situation where you can throw your anger, where anger is accepted. A group is an artificial situation where everything is accepted. If you become angry, the group is not repressive. Rather on the contrary, the group helps you, provokes you to be angry, brings out all your violence and aggression, accepts it -- WELCOMES even, gives you an opportunity and confidence that here you are not rejected, that here there is no expectation. Nobody's expecting that you should not be angry or this and that. Whatsoever you are, you are given total freedom to be THAT. A group is an artificial situation. The society cannot allow that. Once your anger has started bubbling up, you will be surprised how much you have been carrying. How much poison is there in your system. And only when this poison has gone, that smoke has disappeared, will you be able to find insight or bliss methods like Sufi Dancing. If a man who is angry participates in Sufi Dancing, his dance will have anger to it. You can watch, you can watch people, and you can see their dances have different qualities. Somebody's dance is a kind of rage; anger is filtering through his dance, through his gestures. Somebody's dance has grace to it, love is flowing, a kind of elegance. Somebody else's dance has compassion in it. Somebody else's dance has ecstasy in it. somebody else's dance is just stale and dull, he is just making empty gestures, there is nobody behind them -- mechanical. Watch. Why this difference? -- because they are carrying different layers of repression. When you dance, your anger will dance if it is there. Where can it go? The more you will dance, the more it will dance. If you are full of love, when you start dancing your love will start overflowing -- it will dance all around you, all over the space. Your dance is going to be your dance, it will contain all that you contain. If you are sexually repressed, then your dance will have that. Now it is a problem for Indians to participate in the Sufi Dance. Many have written to me. One Indian sannyasin, a very honest man, wrote a letter. He was participating in the dance. Three days afterwards, he wrote 'I am feeling very guilty, because I become sexually aroused. Whenever I go into the Sufi Dance, I become sexually aroused. I feel very guilty.' He was asking forgiveness 'Osho, forgive me.' And he became so afraid that he stopped dancing. Now the whole life of repression... He may never have been able to hold the hands of any woman except his wife, and that too only in the night when everybody is fast asleep. He may not have been able to move with such dancing energy of women, men. It is very natural; there is no need to feel guilt. It is just the whole repressed life. Now this man who becomes sexually aroused in Sufi Dance, is he going to feel any insight in it? He will feel great guilt, and he will not feel spiritual at all! He will feel sexual, and he will be in a turmoil. He will be very much confused. His whole being will be on a volcano. He may start trembling, and he may become afraid that he may DO something. That's what he wrote to me -- 'I cannot participate in Sufi Dance any more, because I may DO something. I may not be able to control myself I become so aroused.' This is bound to happen. If you are sexually repressed, then sex will bubble up when you dance. So you cannot go directly, you have to go through catharsis. Only then can blissful methods be of help. Cathartic methods are modern inventions. In Buddha's time they were not so needed because people were not so repressed. People were natural, people lived primitive live -- uncivilised, spontaneous lives. So VIPASSANA -- VIPASSANA means insight -- was given by Buddha directly to people. But now you cannot go into VIPASSANA directly. And the teachers who go on teaching VIPASSANA directly don't belong to this century; they are two thousand years backwards. Yes, sometimes they may help one or two persons out of one hundred, but that can't do much. I am introducing cathartic methods, so that first what the civilisation has done to you can be undone, so that you become primitive again. From that primitiveness, from that primal innocence, insight becomes easily available. Then bliss methods work -- never before that. "OSHO" I Say Unto You, Vol 2 Chapter #8 Chapter title: Significance is Inner Nourishment

Anyone who says , there is direct and simple method which is suitable for everyone is deceiving you. J. Krishnamurti was insisting his whole life that there is no technique for meditation. And the total result was not that millions of people attained to meditation; the total result was that millions of people became convinced that no technique is needed for meditation. But they forgot all about what they were going to do with the obstructions, the hindrances. So they remained intellectually convinced that no technique is needed. It is easy to meditate if you don’t want to be blissful — it is very easy to meditate. Many people have tried to meditate without bliss because it is simple, less complex. You have to take only one work upon yourself: that you have to still your mind. And you can force your mind to be stilled, but you will become sad, you will have a long face. They have avoided the complexity of spiritual transformation. They have chosen meditation, they have forced their mind to be still. It is a negative state; their minds are only empty, not silent — forcibly made still. But it is not a natural growth of silence, it is not the flowering of silence. Their silence is like the cemetery, it is not the silence of a garden. You can meditate, force yourself to be silent. the whole truth is: bliss PLUS meditation. It is difficult of course, arduous, to manage both.

The whole of life has to be meditative. Only then will you begin to feel things. And when I say that the whole life is to be meditative, I do not mean to go and close your eyes for twenty-four hours and sit and meditate – no! Wherever you are you can be sensitive and that sensitivity will pay. Someone asked Buddha, ”How shall we meditate?” Buddha replied, ”Whatsoever you do, do it with awareness; this is meditation. Walking, walk attentively, as if walking is everything; eating, eat with awareness, as if eating is everything; rising, rise with awareness; sitting, sit with awareness; all your actions become conscious, your mind does not travel beyond this moment, it remains in the moment, settles in the moment – this is meditation.” Meditation is not a separate process. Meditation is simply the name for life lived with awareness. Meditation is not an hour-a-day affair where you sit for one hour and then it is over till tomorrow. No, if twenty-three hours are empty of meditation and only one hour is meditative, then it is certain that the twenty-three hours will defeat the single hour. Non-meditation will win, meditation will lose. It is easy to meditate if you don’t want to be blissful — it is very easy to meditate. If you want just to be blissful and you don’t want to be in meditation, that too is easy. The rarest combination is meditation plus bliss. Meditation minus bliss is easy; bliss minus meditation is easy. But meditation minus bliss is not true meditation and bliss minus meditation is not true bliss either. They are true only when they are together. Many people have tried to meditate without bliss because it is simple, less complex. You have to take only one work upon yourself: that you have to still your mind. And you can force your mind to be stilled, but you will become sad, you will have a long face. Bliss needs to be shared; it exists only in sharing. It can’t exist when you are alone, it disappears. It is a communion. Meditation can exist in aloneness and bliss can exist in togetherness. But when both exist then you have to learn a totally new way of life.

No, not because we're bored. You are bored and desperate for truth, and that's understandable, that's God calling you. You can talk and think about this stuff all day: why, and how, but no answer will satisfy you. You need to learn to feel again, purge the conditioning that's suppressing your child like bliss.

One of the reasons for much of the suffering that we go through in life is taking life too seriously. It is not uncommon though; almost everyone is so serious about the drama of life. So, everyone has assumed that there is no way out of it. But, there is a potential for a change in your attitude towards life which will make you to treat life as the lifelong movie in which we all are just characters. There is also a potential to remove all the unwanted suffering that we have imposed on ourselves by removing the serious identification with the character called ‘you’ and your story.. I went through a journey myself that helped me to realize this potential and make it possible. (You can read more about my journey here: The Journey of a Seeker). I will call that whole process as ‘Awakening Through Mindfulness (ATM)’. If you believe in God, you can use the belief itself as an aid towards changing your attitude. Many people consider themselves as a puppet of the God’s hands. That helps them change the way they react to the situations and stop taking everything personal. But it is just a coping mechanism; No one is actually sitting up there and directing your life. Life and the force of the life itself is a deep and interesting mystery. If you want to call that force God, you can. That is a beautiful personification. Warning! For many people, beliefs have actually been a hindrance in the whole process. There is a way to really experience life as a movie and to be not affected by your self-image. You can completely detach yourself from the identification you have with the self image. .. Changing the attitude is the first step to ending the self created suffering and experience the life impersonally.. Your personality and your ego that projects the personality are just a part of the mask that you, as the character of this movie, are wearing. What hurts the mask doesn’t hurt you anymore, once you start experiencing life this way. Not only your ego and personality, but every thought, emotion, experience and knowledge that you witness in your consciousness is a part of that mask. Remembering this analogy of the mask and contemplating on it can help you to change your attitude to be favourable in the process of awakening. As you proceed with this journey, you will eventually have to drop a lot of your beliefs and directly choose to know what you believed is true or false. Then, either you know or you don’t know. There is no need in believing something. The sense of security that we get from beliefs will not at all be needed anymore once you start experiencing the life devoid of self-created suffering. You don’t need any solace from the beliefs anymore. That life experience which stands apart and independent from your identity is what I call as an ‘awakened life’. What you Call as Self is an Illusion! The next step is just to realize and remember always that there is no self; I am not kidding! It is a scientific fact. What you perceive, think and experience every moment is the result of millions of neurons in your brain communicating with the neighboring neurons through electrochemical signals. This constant perceptual activity gives an illusion that there is a static self. This self which is experienced as being the one who inhabits the body, being the one who is thinking the thoughts, being the one experiencing emotions, being the agent of actions and having free will is an illusion. Also, every person you see is a complex network of forces communicating with each other in cell level, chemical level and atomic level. 2500 years ago, a man called Gautama Buddha revealed the truth of the no-self for the first time. Seeing this in neuroscientific perspective, what you experience as you and your story is just a result of activity happens in a combination of brain structures called Default Mode Network DMN). This network is active when you are mind-wandering,thinking about others, thinking about yourself, remembering the past, and planning for the future. Hyperconnectivity of the default network has been linked to rumination in depression. Studies have shown that meditators and people who claim spiritual awakening have less or almost no activity in DMN. This illusory self is not consistent and static; it is ever changing. But the only thing which is consistent and constant throughout your life is your existence; the conscious, moment to moment experience that you are alive. Three Aspects of the Absolute Reality There are three aspects to what that is consistent: Existence, Consciousness and experiencing. Existence can be defined as whatever that exists in the ultimate, absolute level. You perceive and know that objects exist because of this. It is the sense of being alive.The objects may keep changing but the existence itself is something that is constant. It is not a ‘thing’ though. It is the basis of anything that is subjective. Consciousness is like a light that shines up everything in the existence. It can be compared to the light in a movie screen using which your thoughts, emotions, perceptions and experiences are constantly being played. The movie screen is static all the time. It also exists in sleep, but there is nothing to show. Since consciousness is completely dark and since voluntary functions of the mind are shut off, there is actually nothing much is happening that is worth to be recorded in the brain and stored in long term memory. Experiencing is not about various experiences that you go through every moment. It is the base of all experience, which is naturally peaceful. Peace is always the first and last experience of the lifetime. Even in death, the final moment is peace; a lot of scientists believe that a neurotransmitter called Dimethyltryptamine or DMT released in the brain during the last moment of death which gives peace and bliss. You are so peaceful during the birth too. You can obviously see that in the new born babies. Even throughout the life, you go through a lot of peaceful moments where you are ultimately content, all drives seem to be temporarily satisfied and you experience the ultimate peace and contentment. That peace is not really something that comes and goes. It is the subtle backdrop of all the noisy perceptions happening in the mind and never changes too. It is the base experience of all the experiences. An awakened person may often go through peak experiences (rare, exciting, oceanic, deeply moving, exhilarating, elevating experiences that generate an advanced form of perceiving reality, and are even mystic and magical in their effect upon the experimenter – Abraham Maslow) when they touch the ultimate level of peace. During peak experiences, the boundaries of experiencer, experiencing and the experience dissolve and they all become one. The same happens with the knowledge as well. The knower, knowing and the known become one. Note that, when I say experiencing, I am talking about the ‘experiencing’ aspect of your existence; not about an independent experience. Any experience, including the peak experience com and go. But the ‘experiencing’ part of that which is consistent never changes. It would be better to use a different word than experiencing but I can’t think of anything that comes closer right now. So, whatever that is consistent which has the aspects of existence, consciousness and experiencing can be called with any name you want to use. You can call it XYZ if you want! Some words that have been used in eastern traditions are absolute, Om, brahman, Sat-Chit-Ananda etc… Some call it as your ‘true self’. The problem with all these labels is that you start to see this XYZ as some object, a thing; Something that can be either perceived, experienced or known. But it is actually like the space or the field in which everything is perceived, experienced or known. So, it is very important to not to get too attached to the word. Seeing the illusory self for what it is and completely removing the identification with it lets you to relax yourself in the truth of being alive and conscious. It will eventually let you free from hedonic treadmill and the pursuit of subjective self worth. You will feel liberated from the prison of this illusory self. This will give you a tremendous acceptance of what is; You will see life as a game with its own rules and challenges. But seeing that as just a game which will eventually end, makes you to play it with enjoyment and a great sense of peace. Many practises have been suggested which help you to go through this process of awakening; self-inquiry, contemplation of the truth and so on. The practise that I can suggest for you is the one which worked for me.. It is called Sati in buddhism, Shikantaza in Zen, Shakshi bhav in Upanishads and mindfulness by buddhists as well as modern psychologists. Mindfulness is used not only as a path to awakening, but also in modern therapies as a means to decrease depression and stress, increase well being, control addictions, slow down emotional reactivity etc. What is Mindfulness and How to Practice it? Mindfulness can be defined as focused nonjudgmental attention to experiences of thoughts, emotions, and body sensation in the present moment that is practiced by simply observing them as they arise and pass away. The paper ‘Mindfulness: A Proposed Operational Definition’ which was published by University of Toronto in 2014 suggests a two-component model of mindfulness: 1) Regulation of attention in order to maintain it on the immediate experience 2) Approaching one’s experiences with an orientation of curiosity,openness, and acceptance, regardless of their valence and desirability. When you try to observe your thought process, you may lose your attention many times. Once you notice that the mind has wandered, you just bring it back to the awareness of thought process or body sensations again. No matter how many times the mind wanders away, you must take it easy and accept it. You can do this while doing whatever you are doing, like walking, eating, working out, waiting in a queue etc. Notice the flow of thoughts as if you are watching a stream flowing or traffic moving. Eventually you can extend the time that you practise mindfulness to most of the waking hours of the day. This may take years and years of practise. When practicing mindfulness, don’t approach it as if you are working towards a goal. That would simply mean that you are enhancing the self-concept and strengthening the identification with it .Awakening is not an achievement. It is getting rid of the craving for any achievement that increases your self-worth or enhances your self-concept. Seeing mindfulness as a means for something to be achieved itself is a trap which may slow down the process of awakening. In a couple of months of practise you may start noticing gaps in your thought process.You may also notice reduction in the number of thoughts. Also, a lot of unconscious patterns and repressed thoughts may start to come up and appear in the light of your conscious observation. It is quite normal. Just pay attention to whatever that comes up without reacting to it. But if you do react to it, that’s ok. Just notice that and wait to see what comes up next. As you do it more and more, the gaps will be more frequent and you may even start to wait for the next thought or feeling to arise. In a few months, you will start to feel more peaceful and relaxed. Your emotional regulation would also have improved. While practising, become aware of the defense mechanisms of the ego whenever you notice them. Notice the repeated thought patterns and your attempts to maintain and protect your self-esteem. Reading the authentic sources of Zen and Advaita can help you a lot in moving through the process. Personally for me, reading the transcribed talks of Osho and J.Krishnamurti were helpful in understanding how mindfulness works and how to go about practising it. Osho called it ‘witnessing’ and J.Krishnamurti called it as ‘Choiceless awareness’. The names are different but the meaning is exactly the same. Once you have practised mindfulness for long term for a year or two, you may go through a crisis at times, usually called ‘Spiritual Crisis,’ a form of identity crisis where you experience drastic changes to your meaning system (your unique purposes, goals, values, attitude and beliefs, identity, and focus). It may cause a lot of disturbance, but don’t be alarmed. It happens to everyone but it will pass. The fruits of mindfulness always outweighs the disturbances caused by spiritual crisis. Benefits of Mindfulness I came across an interesting paper ‘How Does Mindfulness Meditation Work? Proposing Mechanisms of Action From a Conceptual and Neural Perspective’ published in 2011 by Association For Psychological Science. It lists 5 major benefits of mindfulness and also lists the details of studies which support them. Here are those five benefits: Attention regulation Body awareness Emotion regulation, including a. Reappraisal b. Exposure, extinction, and reconsolidation Change in perspective on the self. The fourth one, ‘Change in perspective on the self’ is very important, which explains in detail about a lot of what we discussed about ‘Self’ in this post. You can search for this paper in ‘Academia’ and download it for free. There have been many other studies done on mindfulness which show that mindfulness decreases suffering and increases subjective well being. Buddha prescribed mindfulness as the path to spiritual enlightenment. Whether you are looking for spiritual enlightenment or just improved well being, there is no doubt that mindfulness is the way to go. Also published in my blog: https://nellaishanmugam.wordpress.com/2017/05/26/awakening-through-mindfulness-bridging-science-and-spirituality/

@Dodo Matt Kahn talks about ego integrating with spirit on TrueDivineNature. The direct approach is fine. A heart centered approach to spirituality is the way for me. I don't have to remember how to do 25 spiritual things each day and then feel like crap when I fail at them. If one is spiritually aligned you can experience bliss. He also talks about the end of the old paradigm and the beginning of the new paradigm. No more spiritual acrobatics to fail at. If you do fail, then love the one who fails more, not less!

@Prabhaker Feel to sleep in your arms. Complete bliss.

Aside from him being an incredibly happy giddy alive guy, with a very penetrating but child like gaze, I can see he has zero conditioned response rate to any one, he is fully being himself and joyfully playing his character. But the thing that impressed deeply from the start was reading his story, he had been seeking seriously from when he was 14, he had gone through multiple times of thinking he had become enlightened. BELOW I'VE CONDENSED THE STORY: SPOILER!! It might be cooler to read the full story with google translate: www.adsang.nl/mijn-verhaal/ condensed: But even towards the end, decades into it, he didn't resolve his ego completely, and at some point it was about to be absorbed, but he still couldn't let go completely, causing intense panic and depressions, he even made himself believe all the spirituality was just fake, he even felt sorry for all the masters he'd seen and believed for they too were just fooling themselves. As deep states of peace and bliss that he had experienced came and go, and yet, he still had no freedom! But through the unfold mend of the path eventually grace dissolved all his attachment, it was a very intimate process, which eventually brought full awakening and he was 'Overflowing with gratitiude'. And the thing that also helped me have a lot of faith in him was the fact that I had the most consistent high amount of synchronicities when listening to his satsangs.

The ego is just thought, especially disturbing thoughts, that you think are your identity. thought or ego is just a part of you. like your hand, or your feet. If you cut of your feet, you don't cease to exist, so you are not your feet. For the ego it's the same, but you can't really physically cut of your ego thoughts, so it's harder to realize this. Thought fighting thought is what OP warned about. If you think yourself around your thoughts, like battling some negative thought with positive affirmations. Then you are reinforcing the ego, as OP said: If you do this, then you are creating a story within yourself, that your imagined self is an observer. There actually is an observer, but it will never think a single thought. So your ego tells a story, the story it is actually the observer. This may bring the illusion of spiritual bliss even, and can greatly boost confidence, but it is a lie that will sooner or later break. This is why thought should never battle with mind. Unwelcome thought is irrelevant, it requires no address, it just is.

If the person is really enlightened, then he knows the ego never existed to begin with. The ego is the illusion of thought cycles looping constantly, and so creating an imagined self. Realizing this fully, the enlightened man doesn't even register the praise. The enlightened man is enlightened, because that is the only thing he can be. He has no desire for enlightenment, no reason for it. It just is, as life just is. Being is being, it never had an ego to begin with. The illusion that is ego, are no more than the thoughts that make up an imagined self, and all unenlightened people self-identify with that "construct". What most people think of as "me", or "I", isn't real. It's a biological machine, constantly generating random thoughts and opinions, and we think this is what we are. And what we truly are, has no human identity. Most people actually want their ego to become enlightened, but it can never be, because its not a "self". It's not an enemy to battle either, these are just thoughts our true self is are aware of. For me, this is also the "dark night of the soul". It's not so much a battle, but it is the dreaded acceptance of the realization that what most people call I, does not exist as a person, that this identity we've come to love and defend, is not a real "I". Because what we think of as "me", ceases to exist as an "I", and the only thing left is pure enlightened being. What we truly are, never had a single thought in its life, not a single idea, never said a single word, and it never will. We can only be it. Realization does bring "human" bliss, because the "ego" quiets down a bit, when there is acceptance that it is not I.

And while I'm at it, here's another one called Devotion My eyes close to the world everyone knows tasting a small slice of death moments before my best nightmare touches me deep in my soul I'm craving for the fallen one to dwell in the depths of eternal lust for ever and ever more Along the streets we walk laugh, talk and kiss People passing by but they do not exist We're in our own world now filled with pleasure and bliss Phallic objects along the way I smile because I know he'll be my own personal priapus until the end of days Sacred heart The world lies to our feet Nothing matters as we fall deep into an abyss of timeless tenderness and rising to the highs of loving and lust where we inhale our kiss His touch reaches far beneath my skin, down in my core, finds its way into the depths of my soul devouring my very essence He stands before me with marks on his bare chest There, were once his feathers were are now the signs of innocence lost These scars, the visible signs of anguish and of pain, constant reminders of tormented days I'm asking you, my lover with broken wings, to set me free, I give myself to thee Now let me gaze into your eyes once more, melt and burn your image deep into my soul Kiss me deep to sleep before the moonlight fades and I have to begin another dreadful day