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Freedom is what you want, that is true bliss, better than the best sensation you can imagine Chasing good sensations or a good self image, that is only misery

@snowleopard not really, I see that absolute reality on the deepest level cannot be explained and I agree. My question is based in the world of concepts, which is obviously not the deepest level, yet still very much relevant (think of medicine / science / "optimization" of situations / solving of "problems" and the like (also the only reason that people use this forum (or any) is because they discuss concepts of some kind)). To rephrase my question: instead of the mind happening within consciousness, why can't consciousness happen within the mind or in other words why can't consciousness be the subset of the superset which is the mind (mind > consciousness)? I know that in theory one could just meditate 24/7 and bliss out on being, but here, I am interested in understanding the concept.

@Shanmugam I had just written a detailed reply but decided to erase it because it's pointless to dissect all the statements you have made when it all revolves around the same thing. You put so many limitations with can'ts and don'ts on enlightenment, absolute and infinite that it's so funny... limitations on the infinite! Really? Then call it "truth"? Haha! The absolute infinite has absolutely infinite potential, it's our own limiting beliefs that create a narrow path to realizing it. Separation dissolves in awakening to this simple "truth" and is pure love, joy, peace....bliss

@Outer @Joseph Maynor @SOUL @Leo Gura @Mighty Mouse Thank you guys! It's great to have a place to ask these questions and you see what I mean without explaining any further. Many people are caught up in the drama, or think that identity politics and aversion between groups are natural. The most serious thing about media is how it affect collective consciousness for the worse. Even if I manage to detached completely. I still get "robbed" of all good meetings with people because the shared consciousness is suspicious and egoic instead of open, happy, compassionate. We as self-actualized people need to use strategies not to be affected by toxic media. Imagine the people in general, they don't even see the low consciousness mechanics media use, they just react and adopt to the narratives media put up. And soon we all start to hate each other, ourselves and thinks we will not survive without government and strong power structures. Thats the goal with "divide and conquer" strategy. It's frustrating, because this world could be a paradise. But right know we are wired to think deep bliss, intense compassion, strong love and complete happiness are naive traits in society. It would be judged as mania. It's not mania, it's normal, perfectly normal. It's completely natural to us to feel deep peace, bliss and joy. To view the whole world as sheer beauty. But we are kidnapped, rewired with negativity. Media and authorities own us. Thats sad! Love you guys, thanks for your respond!

@Kevin Dunlop Instead of bliss, consider love. Develop your love, do the practices, think of the best for yourself, and those you know. Thoughts of love. You don’t have to help a single person with anything. After contemplating on that for a bit, you’ll probably want to. Things like depression and anxiety can be a little contagious. Careful, and allow some recoup time for yourself.

I will do my best to answer this question.. The work that needs to be done for the betterment of the world and people around you is your self realization. For a very long time I struggled with the frustration of wanting to spread my light with those around me.. I would try to reach out to help ease their suffering but in return I saw no change within them. One day I finally came to the realization that I was doing this all wrong so I began the process of meditating on this very attachment that I was clinging to. I detached from it and began turning the work back within myself (if that makes any sense) I filled myself with so much love and compassion that I didn't need to purposefully project that to anyone. It poured out of me with no effort and only then did people begin to approach me seeking the truth.. So in summary, the absolute best way to help those in this world who suffer is to look within and realize your own truth. Deep down everyone wants to live in peace and bliss, if you provide that within yourself they will seek it..

@SuperLuigiAgree 100% with @pluto . 136 Day Juice Fast -- elevated my life on every level: physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. True bliss. Cured many dis-eases as well (back-acne, fatigue, & IBS). Cooked foods do have a dramatically slower bowel-transit time, and can collect in the colon over time. If you don't believe me, do a colonic and see the unbelievable amount of old SHIT that is stuck in your colon, which most likely is a major contributing cause to many of your current ailments. Cheers! Anyway, sounds like your pancreas (responsible for digesting) is weak. You may also want to supplement with herbs (tinctures or teas) to target this weakness, such as Gentian, Milk Thistle, Chickweed, Marshmallow, Bitters, Dandelion Root, Dock Family (Yellow Dock, Burdock, Oregon Grape Root), Ginger, and the Mint Family. Look up Dr. Morse on YouTube for more info Him and John Rose saved my life.

Yes, but there is no ONE experiencing that hell. 'There is also infinite bliss, joy and happiness! It's like saying that infinite blue exist within our universe. Of course "blue" will always be represented in the world, so will yellow and all other colours for eternity.

@MarkusSweden What you are saying does happen but it is not like the way you describe.. I wouldn't say that it is a lowering of the level of consciousness. I will describe what happened to me to explain. I was working in a BPO during 2014. Even two years prior to the year 2014, my life was very simple. I was trekking various hills during that and was mostly spending time in nature and solitude. After April 2014, I started to go deeper in my 'witnessing' practice. For the months April, May and June, I was just going deeper and deeper. In July 2014, I stopped much of my talking and gossips with my friends (not intentionally, it happened automatically) and my friends clearly noticed a difference. Except what I had to talk on the phone, I almost didn't talk to anyone at all. I even didn't give a thought about it because such a thought didn't occur for a long time. I was simply a witness to everything that was happening and I was slowly losing the need to do anything, except doing what I should do in my job and to maintain my body. I almost lost the ability to think logically. My monkey mind stopped and I wasn't bothered by anything at all. It is the peak and I felt like a king of the world. I still remember walking on the road one day, taking each and every step with absolute bliss and a feeling that there is a permanent vacation. But I had to relearn many things. For example, for the next six months, I wasn't worried even a single bit about how much sales I was making with customers. I just enjoyed talking to the customers on the phone, explaining about the product and just had a conversation with them. I didn't have the same desire to convince the customers. If a customer says 'I want to think about', I would say 'sure, take your time'. I even forgot that I was supposed to handle that as an objection and try to convince the customer to buy the product. I didn't even remember to check my performance report for about 5-6 months. One day my team leader asked me to meet him and started scolding me. He spoke for about 30-40 minutes about my poor performance at work. (I used to be a very good performer before that). I couldn't really say anything for all those 40 minutes. I was simply looking at him. There was no feeling of insult or embarrassment. But gradually, I realized that even though things didn't matter to me, they matter to others who are expecting things from me. So, I had to consciously choose a direction that I need to go in life. I chose to perform well at work again. Once my performance drastically improved, my manager looked at me with surprise and asked me with a smile ' why and how this sudden change?'... I smiled and just said 'I am focusing more on getting sales'. There was an integration period for about 2 - 3 years. And during this period, I learned certain things all over again. I am not talking about learning new information but learning certain behaviors. My straight-forwardness, courage, and ability to say anything without any hesitation was actually seen as a threat by many managers and team leaders. It created an impression that I don't respect them any longer. This is just one example. Only after consciously making certain changes, I was able to make sure that everything goes smoothly as my family would expect. Also, there were a lot of old tendencies which took time to die. But whatever changes that happened after 2014 is not something like a self-improvement or reaching another level of enlightenment. The changes just happened without the sense of a person wanting to reach something or somewhere. These changes were necessary to play the role that I am supposed to be playing, but it is not really lowering the level of consciousness. It is pretty much like a rebirth. I was like a kid during July 2014. And I developed many things all over again but it happened consciously and without feeling any duality, lack, incompleteness etc. Spiritual seeking is a longing for becoming complete... There is a sense of lack when a person is seeking. There seems to be something lacking and there is a longing to unite with the whole. The fact that there is a phrase called 'mystical union' in Christian Mysticism and the fact that the word 'yoga' means 'union' is not a coincidence.. Once the union happens, you can't see yourself as a part of the whole anymore.. You realize that you are everything.. Your body may grow old, your mind may get exposed to new things, you may develop certain skills after enlightenment. But these are not the part of a 'self-agenda'.. You don't consider yourself as getting old or learning new things. Those changes just happen in the realm of relative reality. The person is simply 'no more'...

@John Iverson Well obviously the main benefit is improving your concentration. Eventually you might reach access concentration (different people have quite different definitions for this), and then you'll have the ability to 'access' the concentration jhanas, which are a series of increasingly deeper levels of concentration. Each level has various mystical experiences associated with it and increasingly deeper levels of bliss. But my understanding is that, in general, these takes many many hundreds, if not thousands of hours to attain. Improving your concentration is great, but don't get distracted by it. Concentration meditation won't enlighten you. Check out Right Concentration by Leigh Brasington if you want to read up on the subject.

Sadly I wish the mind was tricking me, but it is trying to make me forget what I experienced. The flaw in spirituality is that it is influenced by bias. Anyone can claim to see “it”, yet there is no standard for what “it” is. You assume it’s a good thing that lies at the end, but what if nihilism (or our word for it) is the truth and your experience of the claimed “it” is merely an illusion? You...don’t....know. I briefly experienced egolessness, then bliss, and then beyond that the gaping maw that surrounds and is us. I say that having been down many paths (no thanks to my mother). Meditation led me here, and I’m loathe to try again and see “that”. Before everyone knew the earth revolves around the sun they thought otherwise and it took one man to see it. I’m not so bold as to refer to myself as Galileo, but it’s something to keep in mind when citing personal experience or an argument based on popularity. The assumption and bias that spirituality leads to “good” outcomes probably colors what you see. It’s likely that Buddha saw terror and out of compassion gave different methods to keep people from going too far. Who knows ultimately. That is why I said it was pointless to post an issue I had here because people make it about themselves and not try to find a solution.

Spoiler alert: huuge post ahead of ya! Tuesday, 30. January - Friday 2.of February 4 day half assed solo med/contemplation retreat (half assed because of my inability to meditate for more than 3 hours per day + i went to take an exam on wednesday- had human contact) aka TORTURE 101 The following post contains coarse language and due to its content should not be read by anyone! Context: My roomate unexpectedly had to leave so I got the chance to be all by myself with nothing to do. So I did! Rules No internet No music No friends No books No self help related stuff No texting No forum No youtube No distractions Used my phone for writing down these ramblings, metronome beats for concentration and insight timer for meditation My days consisted of meditation, contemplation, concentration and only basic things for survival Tuesday - breakdown Ramblings I miss my cat. I consider myself to be an intorvert, but holy shit does having someone around make a difference. Even if that someone's an animal. People need their devices to continue living miserably Internet withdrawls Sweating out resistance Mind's endless shitshow- never ending distraction. Even if there's nothing to do, mind still finds something. Full appreciation of things- oranges taste amazing. All food for that matter. Observing a spider i didn't know i had became super amusing Good ol' why the fuck did i do this?! This is torture. Maybe Jack Nicholson was right, maybe I can't handle the truth. Trump probably started a nuclear war, half of the population is gone and i don't know anything. - mind using all kinds of justifications to make me want to go back online. I'm addicted to music/noise. I'm addicted to escape. I'm addicted to daydreaming: through music, writing, listening to people etc. I feel like a mad person. I feel like an animal! Internal screaming (mostly during sds) Fascination with things Not being able to write. I remember feeling really frustrated because I couldn't write whole sentences and also couldn't write with paper and pen. I never realized how much satisfaction I derive from it. Flashbacks of feeling like this as a child, being connected to reality Emotions Boredom Loneliness Joy Rage Laughing Meditation: 3 hours Contemplation: 8 hours Wednesday - breakdown Crazy / nightmare dreams. Incest sex dreams, dead animals, murder, rape - all that good stuff. Woke up like two times during the night, had enourmous headache Resistance bigger than yesterday Feeling like a baby-watching oatmeal drop from my spoon Feeling older than my generation Interactions feel amazing. I'm hyper aware of everything and feel more open. Father-son image. As I was walking to the university, I saw a father holding his son's hand and just walking through the city. And in an instant, I saw it. It was so obvious. I saw one being pretending to be both the son and father and I laughed and laughed. ( probably shouldn't have out loud though, since there were other people around me ups) Questioning my sanity Talking to myself/singing Silence is driving me insane Actual screaming Feeling like someone let me out of my cage Life slowed down My desire for truth doubled Things began to take an eternal quality Bottom line for this day: Curiosity killed the cat! Emotions Terror Bliss Awe Peace Feeling insane Laughing Fear (of death and insanity) Meditation: 2 hours Contemplation: 7 hours Thursday - breakdown Woke up tired because of my fanatic dreams of reliving every trauma. It feels like I'm reliving my life in my dreams. Always been an observer, not a participant Existential pondering then 10 min of looking at my nails and hands. I literally spent 10 whole minutes looking at them, wtf? Phone is another limb of mine Tried beatboxing lol, failed Mind all over the place,daydreaming It's AMAZING to be Heat during sds Making faces in the mirror Happy baby pose half the day Fuck internet To be is the greatest joy there is Emotions Peace Satisfaction Fulfillment Boredom Anger Relaxation Meditation 3 hours Contemplation: 7 hours Friday - breakdown Why am I not always living like this??? Stress is caused by a bunch of noise Tension in my body Desire to stay like this, not wanting to go back to ordinary living Desire for a radical change Scared of how detached I feel from the people i love. Do i even like them or just like their validation? And finally tears- love for truth, calling from the divine hahahah the gurus were right, you really don't need anything to be happy. Like really oh my god what a relief! I don't need the latest clothes, my phone, the internet, books, like any posessions, people, music etc NOTHING I love you the internet, but I love the truth more Truth is so fucking all consuming and radically loving it just left me not wanting anything. The truth is all I need The calling is unavoidable Thank you thank you Being connected to reality is what i need. Nothing else I don't no longer miss anyone or anything Never laughed so hard in my life as to the idea that youu need something to be happy.That idea is absurd. Youuu are it, I can't even begin to tell you. What i'm experiencing is unbelieveable,impossible, but so fucking real! Emotions Excitement Tranquility Restlessness Worry Fear Ecstatic bliss Gratitude Laughing while crying Meditation: 1,30 h Contemplation: 4 hours These last few days were life changing. On friday night I got back home, so my retreat didn't last 4 full days, oh well. I don't think I'll ever forget what I realized here and I look forward to doing more of these in the future, no matter how notoriously laborious it gets. Main takeaways: I gotta face my demons more often I finally figured out what I want!!! On Thursday I finally got it. The list goes as follows : truth, deep spiritual connection and life purpose/ contribution. Due to yesterday's realizations that list now looks like this: nothing. I'm guessing those desires will come back though I'm so addicted to noise, it was so shocking to see that. I was having serious withdrawal symptoms. My love is endless. My life is an utter lie and I just want to serve. That's all folks!

they are wrong Enlightment doesn't mean to enjoy suffering, it means understanding it for what it trully is. No enlightened person can have their pinky toes stubbed in the wall and not scream at least 5 profanities. Pain is an ilussion to make you believe there is an "I" that needs surviving. Also it feels like you were trying to cheat the system, don't surrender expecting "IT" to appear, that is not that works. In surrendering you are not meant to achieve eternal hapiness or to be indestructible, it means you are able to understand it and see it for what it truly is, once you know that there's nothing to worry about it takes care of itself, but it takes a lot of time and practice. And no, you don't need to live with them forever. Thinking got you into this, thinking will not get you out. The more you think about a "solution" you are creating another stories which in 5 seconds will warrant another problem to fix, that's the minds job. Also never understimate the effect of small changes, no matter how minimal, they can make a huge difference later on. You are not the mind you can't be, it does everything by itself without anyone to tell it what to do, heck it doesn't even know what is doing. Fear is an illusion to trick it into thinking it is something that is not, this "I" this is so worried. You don't know your next thought, you don't know how you are going to react to it, you don't know how you can understand what you understand, because that's not you. Not sure if you will learn from this but i feel like it can help, the key is to trully understanding what he means https://gatelessgate.wordpress.com/2006/08/01/the-worst-desire-is-the-desire-for-enlightenment/ Stop telling yourself these stories of what is the truth behind this this and that, it will only distract you even more. Enlightment is nothing, that's what it trully is, nothing at all. You need to fully understand that. It's not a bliss state, it's the truth of your experience, it's not different from what you are experiecing. If you have to ask "Is this it?" It's not it, it's nothing

It has already been about two weeks since I have been on a darkness retreat. I initially planned to stay in the darkness for about 13 days. But I quit the retreat after 4 days. As I got a few requests about sharing my experience I still wanted to let you know what this retreat revealed to me. Why did I quit? The thing that made me quit was a build-up of frustration. I could have dealt with the boredom and the long hours of meditation, it was actually quite blissful at times. I became frustrated though because the place was not sound proof at all and it was not quiet. Right next to my room were a couple of dogs in a confined space and they would bark each time someone went by on the street. You could hear every car and truck going by, people speaking outside and so forth. As all other senses get incredibly heightened in the darkness, this was not acceptable for me. I would recommend everyone who wants to do a darkness retreat to research carefully beforehand if the place is also quiet. One recommendation I got for europe is this one: http://pobyt-ve-tme.cz/ it is supposed to be very quiet. I have found that when in meditation in darkness it is really easy to get into "interesting" territory pretty quickly, but sound would pull me out just as easily. And dog barking is terrible in my opinion. It really got on my nerves and then at one occasion they did not stop for about an hour and that when I called it quits. Couldn't stand the thought of having to deal with this for another 8-9 days. But then I learned from the experience and you can too. Make sure to go to a quiet place and your experience will me much more pleasant. Maybe some nature sounds are ok. Birds just sounds friendlier Meditation: Powerful stuff in the darkness. I experienced levels of bliss, which I never did in my sessions before. But I have not had that long sessions before in light. No distraction, what else is there to do but to meditate. Creativity was great at first but mental thoughts became less as time went on. I did mainly do nothing meditation, strong determination sitting and regular meditation with focus on the breath. All felt really good, but do nothing did not work as well for such long hours of meditation. Interesting: The senses of tasting and smelling became so incredibly nuanced that I was almost overwhelmed. There were nuances and literally dimensions to it, I never experienced before. At one time the smell of smoke came in the room and I was thinking the house must be burning so strong was it. But apparently it was just smoke from some chimneys in the town. In those first four days I had almost no visual of psychedelic effects. Some flashing colors and thinking that I can see the room, but nothing really solid. After-effects: Even though I did not sleep much, in fact I slept probably less than usual, I felt incredible energized and motivated when I came out of the darkness. Happiness for everyday experiences is still on a whole other level. Experiencing the visual dimension is one of our greatest sources of joy. We just forget that we are able to see at all. My biggest insight was that we do not long for happiness or beautiful experiences, but instead for anything at all. The distinctions we make, come only after are already saturated with experiences. If you experience almost nothing for an extended time, it becomes clear how grateful we can be to have such a rich life experience. I learned that whenever I want more and strive to "achieve" some other state, that I have to go back and retreat, so that everyday experiences become magical again. Conclusion: I will be doing it again for sure. But this time with more careful planning. It is difficult for sure and therefore the place must be really good to make the experience as positive as possible. In buddhism it is recommended as an advanced practice and I am sure it gets tricky once you reach the state where psychedelic compounds are released in the brain. But a week should be manageable for everyone who has a daily meditation habit. And it will increase your desire to further develop your meditation practice and give you increased appreciation, motivation and energy for your daily life. I posted a short video about my experience the day after I came out of the retreat:

This ‘fall out’ so to speak, I’ve been through it too. I’ve went a few months not even playing my guitar too, I feel you on that, cause it’s like a life line in a way, but this is deep purification in my opinion. It the rough part, but it’s a necessary part of the bigger process. Life is giving gifts, hard to see it that way now. Yoga & home routines, vs any pressure to be adding muscle, is a good experience in the long run imo. Life’s giving you this. Looking for happiness from the lessons, or anything else, it’s a rollercoaster. You can be in a state of love, happiness and appreciation just sitting, doing nothing, life is showing you this now. It’s rough, but what a gift the universe is giving you at such a young age, you’ll see this soon. Same with attachment feeling good from scheduling your day and needing to adhere to it. There’s a deep nuance you’re being given in this. Of course it’s great to plan and execute, but the deepest bliss is in the now, with no need for attachment to anything. Just that you are, is enough. You, being, is enough. Again, it’s rough, but life is giving you these gifts. All part of bigger processes, and man you are doing well for yourself dude. Watch for beating up on your self, inner thoughts wise. Progress, of course, but let go to man. You’re only young once, and nobody said you’re supposed to nail every aspect every day. Ya need some silly, some no seriousness, some spontaneity, some care free - in life. When you are, and you return to the things you love in your life, oh my God dude, it’ll be more delicious than ever. The foundation will be more solidified. You’re creating you. You are an unstoppable force. You’re gonna enjoy so many fruits from your labors, and you’re gonna help so many people. You’re hittin the practical notes, the passion notes, the determination, the skill sets, my God man, what a beautiful life you’re creating! Trade your habits for the now. All the practices will naturally return, and your love and appreciation will only deepen. And give love, especially in little situations, like the old guy you wouldn’t otherwise relate to, or really notice, behind the gas station counter. Be mindful with people, be encouraging. One moment, at any given time, any given day, living from the heart, can just show you how deeply wonderful this life is. Just straight outta the blue, it can open you right up to the miracle life is, and the wonder you are. I mean, look at @Leo Gura for example. He just recommended Matt Kahn. There’s hope for us all! ❤️

I look at my super drunk friends doing their life purpose work while guzzling booze all the while... it seems like they can do beautiful work unhindered, allowing the alcohol etc to sweep their issues perpetually under the rug... ignorance = bliss My lover just left because of his actualization work... Other friends revel in their crappy communication, etc relationships ignorance =bliss I look at myself: meditation = miserable - showing my horrific monkey mind, more mindfulness is just more neurotic awareness, life purpose attempts cause self efficacy to decline further and further, attempts at healing just create more awareness of more trauma - re-traumatization - more suffering and pain... I've had to give up all of my cool distractions, and garbage... of course I want TRUTH... but this really fucking sucks .... and I can't just go back to sleep... but I can go back to more distraction... and it's very tempting... ignorance = bliss I am so grateful to Leo etc for all of the help... but I'm also mad that I can't "un-see" many truths... I feel like Jack (and the beanstalk)... I've just bought Leo's magic beans... others tell me the beans are crap...but I've learned not to give a shit about other's opinions... I know there is a potential golden future at the top of the stalk... but I don't feel up to the task of defeating the giant and the rest of it...at all.... but if I come back "empty handed" I'm fucked regardless...blah, wtf!

The norm of the majority is militant hedonism I.e partying, sex, beauty ,seeking power ,money, pleasure , gossip, pleasure of the senses, to eat tasty and listen songs, to touch soft and taste sweet ,and all this as Leo puts it, creates a life of desperation and suffering which majority live. The path of wisdom is narrow , but worth it. Chaos is in desire for company. Beauty is in solitude. To love others first love thyself. We are born alone and we die alone, we are always alone and not being alone is an illusion. That way lies peace. That way lies nirvana and bliss.

Just an interesting update on this one.. For some time (and to be honest, even still now to some extent..), the fear of this whole mahasamadhi scenario was holding me back from going deeper spiritually. As stated in the initial post, every time I would sit to be still & surrender, whether soberly or on a psychedelic, I just couldn't come to terms with the idea that total surrender to existence could potentially kill me. I was really, really put off by this. Ultimately I had to confront what I discovered was the ego’s ultimate fear... extinction, death and loss of all form. The whole situation ultimately became like a zen riddle for me.. I had to confront the question.. 'do I still want ultimate bliss and liberation if paradoxically it means I have to risk leaving my entire life & body behind?'. The issue for me is that I have experienced such profound spiritual states that nothing else in the world could ever satisfy me or scratch the surface in comparison, yet here I was.. confronted with the paradox that the one thing I wanted and craved so badly could also be the end of me, figure that? After much contemplation, I finally came to the stage where I managed to ‘say yes to death’ in an unreserved way, I really had no choice and I just couldn't fight it anymore. I'd really put a lot of psychological pressure on myself over this one, because I take my contemplation and understanding of life very seriously, and if there's a stone left unturned I can't help but try and turn the fucking thing over and claw at the dirt until I get to the bottom of what's under there (not by choice, it's just how I am.. these things will spin in my mind until i reach some conclusion or understanding). Anyway, in this moment after saying yes to death, like really saying yes.. and then passing through immense fear and terror, I then slipped into the most profound state I have ever touched upon. I had absolutely no body, no mind, and was just floating in the sea of infinity, and at the same time i was the sea, it felt like I had really in a sense died because everything I knew as my self, my body and my life on earth was gone, and it was beyond beautiful. Obviously I came back to life after this experience, but in that moment I had to let go beyond any guarantee that I would – maybe this is then what is required for true enlightenment? Continuous, ever-present, unequivocal and unreserved letting go of every and all form. It is clear to me that there is no death, in regards to the source of experience itself, the soul. But still, in regards to this matter of mahasamadhi.. I guess the 'belief' I hold in it as a possibility still somewhat haunts me. I know the real self doesn't die, but I'm plagued by the concern that I'll accidentally leave this body forever, against my will.. and even after this experience the idea of it still brings up strong resistances for me. I keep trying to let go beyond this fear of death, which I am able to at times.. I even remind myself that there is nothing to guarantee I'll be alive in the next hour anyway, and I aim to surrender beyond all this, but still.. what is really missing here for me is just an overall understanding, a conflict in knowledge & experience I guess you'd say.. @Leo Gura - care to share some wisdom on this one? (just to re-iterate, I'm not someone that holds on to and bows down to each and every word of a guru, but I most certainly trust Sadhguru as a legitimately knowledgeable and enlightened being, and this piece of information about mahasamadhi in particular has just been difficult to dismiss).

The romance doesn’t salve the suffering, the suffering deminishes the capacity for romance. It is as simple as, how does romance feel. You’ve got to let things be simple. The bliss is in the extraordinary. Oooohhhhh❤️ To embody...there is no greater joy possible.

Ha ha ha ha. That made me chuckle. In laughter there is truth eh? No offence. I suppose language gets in the way. With all this conciousness work, my definition of 'you' or 'I' has somewhat expanded from the everyday version. I know or feel or whatever, that whatever 'I' am it is the totally of all the appearences and not apart from them. I feel or experience myself in everything. In other words all the appearences have 'me' in them, they're tainted with the essence of me and there's no way for me to step outside of that - in fact I wouldn't know how. So it's a simple step from there to say that I don't exist as a separate entity from the appearences, I am those appearences and no more and no less. Included in all the appearences are my thoughts and mental constructs, conditioning, yadda yadda. But. My ego is still part of reality, I am told that to be rid of it is bliss. My ego is part of me and I am my ego in small part, so what?

As Camus wrote in the Myth of Sisyphus, committing suicide because you can't see a meaning in life is absurd since that claim implies that some absolute truth about the nature of existence is available to you. Which is false, because you are merely a human being, with all the accompanying cognitive limitations. I would comment that you're operating based on logical assumptions. But why does existence has to be logical? Human capacity for reasoning seems to be a by-product of evolution, which we use today for the oddest purposes like justifying one's existence - or suicide. If you want to alleviate suffering, you can devote your life to hardcore spiritual practice, become enlightened and live in a constant state of bliss away from society. Why not get the best of both worlds? I am not particularly interested in entering this deep and murky discourse of meaning and purpose. It would probably take years to master, and what for - to satisfy my need for logic? So that my life would be logically impeccable? I couldn't give less shit about it. I should admit, however, that looking into these things helped me clarify my position towards life. Knowing that I will die and that I want neither to kill myself nor to become a mystic/hardcore philosopher/scientist (who might believe that science will find meaning in the future, when humanity as we know it ceases to exist), I'm choosing to play the game, even though I didn't ask for it. And to get as much happiness and fulfillment as is available to me. Luckily, the problem of happiness is much more down-to-earth and can actually be solved.

@zedprotect I've also been questioning this topic lately. What I struggle most with is that a lot of the stuff we talk about in spirituality such as consciousness, awareness, the ultimate, kundalini, nonduality, spirit, god, samadhi, bliss, presence etc. bla bla doensn't necessarily contradict the paradigm of a (physical) world we know. Because a physical world does not exclude subjective experiences. For example: Recognizing that you're not your thoughts, but the observer/awareness behind the thoughts, doesn't automatically mean that consciousness is fundamental and that you are in essence "the absolute" (whatever this is). This could solely be the process of a physical brain becoming aware of itself. How the fuck can you know that what you're conscious of is of any trustworthiness? How do you know it is not any subjective bullshit experience? Same goes for psychedelics. How the hell would you know that what you're experiencing is not just a simple halluzination? Yes, I get it: It seems like your whole world collapses and this altered state seems super real to you. But guess what, your brain can make you believe anything it wants! And yes, there is the Ego with all it's selfish needs and wants and inferior motives and self-deception. Ok, but this doesn't prove anything about a spiritual dimension. Kundalini could be just some regular neural stimulation that affects the brain in certain ways Spontaneous epiphanies or "awakening experiences" could also be just brain stuff It seems to me like a lot of this spirituality stuff is the ego's way of trying to construct a new illusory reality for itself, in order to be free of suffering. Can't it just be that if you tell our moldable brain long enough: "Hey, I am not this human body, I am the whole universe" (which in a sense is true because all is the same physical matter) it will eventually believe it and thus relieve the "person" of suffering because of the depersonalization process that has taken place. And the possible illusion that you might be the ultimate consciousness or whatever could also be welcome by suffering brain. What if there really is a physical universe (which we do not yet fully understand, and probably never completely will) and the emergent brain phenomenon "consciousness" of an evolved lifeform in the person of Eckhard Tolle is telling somebody just this very moment: "you are not your thoughts, you are infinite awareness bla bla"... This, of course, it just some input to think about. I always try to keep an open mind and be aware of the possibility that truth might be beyond my accessibility. But maybe not.

You are afraid to face truth! And it's a legit fear! This is why.. ..If you trace your way back to God/nothingness, you will realise how profound and perfect everything is. Everything is complete. There is just an overflow of love, bliss, love, peace and beauty. There is nothing to do and nothing to become. There is no goal what so ever, you already are the goal. Now, because of this overflow of positive emotions, God transcend itself so speak and arise if a form of a body-mind. A mind is a derivative of God one can say. The best thing a mind can do is to let it sink back and dissolve itself into to pure awareness/God again. Which is what happened when the mind is stripped of its limitations. Awareness plus a certain set of limitations makes up your mind, there is literary NOTHING more to it. Your mind has many hopes though, many things it will accomplish, you have 20+ years of indoctrination into that mind of yours. Of course, that will be frightened to realise that the only thing worth doing is to dissolve itself back to nothingness again. Life(ego) is great, but even greater, MUCH greater is no life at all. No one is dying here, only the wrong idea that the the mind of yours is something other then limitations of what you really are. Since awareness is infinite, that's what we really are. It can limiting itself to "your" particular mind or "my" particular mind. Your fear is the fear from "your" ego, which is nothing but an imaginary unit.

@Faceless By "bliss", I refer to good/enjoyable subjective experience — the opposite of suffering.

What do you mean when you use this word bliss?