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Glass half full: It's grounded on nothingness ?

I was going to put this in the book review section, but I wanted to put it in the main consciousness forum since the insights from this work have been so quickly actionable in daily practice. God is Nothingness by Andre Dolshim Halaw shattered a lot of my conceptions about the path. I was shocked when I came to the quick realization that I had still been grasping for something, as if the Nothing I had been looking for was a some sort of a physical substrate, despite the fact that I had been told hundreds of times over that this was not the case by a variety of spiritual teachers. Whenever you think you've found yourself, you are not that. I can't really explain why, but when I really internalized this, I felt a reflexive amalgamation of existential terror and pure frustration. It was awesome. I'm going to be referring back to this quick read MANY times throughout my journey. I've noticed that putting the wisdom here into action has also brought about immediate tangible (no-pun intended) results in my practice. A lot of my stumbling blocks in self-inquiry have been resolved. I'm still yet to have my first awakening experience, but a lot of my confusion has been alleviated.

@username Ah, that's interesting. Of course just capitalizing the word still fails to address a distinction that rarely ever gets made. The thing that people often refer to "nothingness", small "n", isn't an absence of anything, it's the presence of all things undivided, it's the all of everything in unity manifest without any delineation in the state of it that exists before any separation takes place in existence. The "Nothingness" with the big "N" is another distinction that can be made but it's the type of understanding that comes from experience in awakened awareness of a personal revelation. Without it there is no way to describe the understanding to another person, it's actually possible to conceive of but it likely is impossible to communicate.

@SOUL Yeah, I maybe should have clarified that in the post. You're spot on and the book covers that as well. Calling it Nothingness is just a necessity for communication, but no idea I have of Nothingness is it. The author covers this by making a distinction between "nothingness" (which is our conceptualized nothingness) and "Nothingness", which is impossible to conceive and is the predicate to all things.

Well, "nothingness" isn't quite accurate either but it's close enough, that's part of the illusion, the mind thinks it understands it's "nothingness". It's just the paradox that we will take on this journey with a destination which cannot be charted because all we can conceive of is merely a reflection of what we think we know and can understand. So in calling it "nothingness" it is just another concept that our minds think we can understand and search for it with. The reason I say this is because while the concept of "nothingness" may be useful to sort out some of the confusion when observing from a more dense "physical substrate", as you called it, eventually to continue on the journey with no destination we have to abandon all concepts in the mind...even the ones that have served us well. There is a reason so many fruitlessly seek enlightenment with thoughts of nothingness in their head, they refuse to give up the attachment to the notion that their minds have perceived it accurately.

Because happiness is nothingness and nothingness is happiness Accomplishment is nothingness and nothingness is accomplishment Pursuing is nothingness and nothingness is pursuing Love is nothingness and nothingness is love Development is nothingness and nothingness is development Creation is nothingness and nothingness is creation I hope that bridges the divides Nothing trully is God Ps: Everything is nothingness and nothingness is everything.

I didn't know whether I should post this topic into the life purpose section or the philosophy & science section. So I just put it here because its about my life purpose. I have a problem with my life purpose. Through all of the exercises in the course I now have a pretty good sense that my life purpose is a combination of the two fields of computer science and consciousness stuff. I am naturally good at maths, science and computer science. I get into a state of flow, love it to solve problems, and to implement solution processes in code. This is sort of my zone of genius. On the other hand I want to have an impact on the world that isn't really connectalbe with this. I love it to understand these concepts Leo talks about. I am fascinated by metaphysical questions. I love it to understand various topics deeply and to see the impact of them on life. I love it to be open-minded and learn new stuff. I would like to make the people more open-minded and conscious about these things in some way. The problem is that I don't know what to do with these two fields together. Its like I want to combine logic with nothingness. Its simply not possible for a computer to grasp nothingness. I feel like this: public boolean alive = true; private boolean enlightened = false; private I i; public Life() { i = new Something(); } private void inquire() { i = whatAmI(); } private Something whatAmI() { return null; } while(alive) { if(!enlightened) { i.inquire(); } else { i.doNothing(); } } Because the return statement of the method whatAmI() is null (nothing) I would get NullPointerExceptions all the time. Nothing cannot do doNothing() or inquire(). I have been thinking about doing something with artificial intelligence. There is much undiscovered potential in this field. But what the hell should the AI then do? I could try to create some sort of new technology that makes it easier for people to have new insights, but there are already psychedelics and so on. Or I could try to rebuild a human brain with computers and see what happens. Or a software that analyses all the blockages in the minds of people, but people can do that well enough too. Any ideas?

Allright, I'll share an old poem of mine called Excerpts of unwritten letters: Getting choked up over nothing really Barely able to hold back my tears to stop them from streaming down my face in lonely rivers dripping from my chin to fall into nothingness Just like you I have a million questions but no answers - not even a bad one I would tell you everything will be okay if I could just believe it myself Dearest, don't torture yourself Be silent no longer and get out of your hole Say what you want to say do what you want to do But don't feel and act like a corpse while life still flows within you You think I know nothing and you are right But I do know that I miss you I surrender myself to remember the imperfect perfect moment when your eyes met mine when your lips kissed mine My thoughts of you are all too hauntingly touching and if I could only permit myself to truly reveal them I would tell you I love you But instead I remain silent and feel the fever rising and hear my heart breaking

Just got back from a WHM Workshop. It wasn't held by Wim himself, but rather somebody who has been trained by him. The workshop was split into three distinct parts; Yogic breathing and retention cycles. Yoga postures. Finally more breathing with an ice bath, as well as a presentation on the health benefits and Q&A. Seekers may be interested a lot in the breathing technique, as an exploration of consciousness can be possible with this technique. One girl said that she felt as if she was slipping into a nothingness, and that she had a thought, that perhaps death is quite a nice and liberating experience. The ice bath was great as it requires a lot of one pointed concentration, and once you get in there, the monkey chatter slows a lot. I even went back for an optional second go in the bath. Once you do the ice bath, you feel confident and empowered, because it isn't easy, as well as really alive and awake. Anyway, I would recommend you guys to do it, if you are new or at least fairly new to it. If you've done the full online course I can't see there being tons of value. I enjoyed it anyhow.

so consciousness work and nondual spirituality/philosophy and self actualization... they ultimately lead to this declaration that - there is no self, physical existence is illusory, all that is real is awareness and that is a tricky devil. nonduality, idk how to capture it well in words but basically the idea that the best life is the monk's life working full time to reach the highest stages of consciousness possible. But I say, that in and of itself is identity, duality, moralization of right and wrong, and inherently that decision (like any decision) is dogmatic. Yes, so is what I am saying here, also dogmatic. but the argument then is to say that sure of course consciousness work sounds like dogma because you can only discuss it in words, and that is where the dogma lies. but I counter with the point that even awareness itself is illusory, is no different from sensation or thought, and as thought is a tricky thing which pretends to not be thought! Leo and some others have hinted at how there is real direct experience from consciousness work that is definitely not thought and is definitely infinite and nothingness and god and enlightenment. and IDK I feel as if I have had tastes of this what they speak of so I'm not saying this from ignorance please but - inherently experience itself is illusory. In fact I say, as long as we are conscious at all, we prove that we are not nondual. well, yes nonduality is the true existence - but we as a "local experience" of existence are inherently dual, only dual, and cannot Truly be nondual in our consciousness. Naturally - the monk dedicating their life to experience as close to nondual infinity, to god as they can possibly get - that is valid and honorable and kudos to any who dedicate their life to it. But There is no such thing as inauthenticity, as low consciousness, or anything similar. If this local experience I call me acts in a "low consciousness" way, that IS authentic. And mindfulness work is only at its basic form - focusing on increasing our internal experience to be more present, and on transcending illusions. Farming the field before, farming the field after. If I understand the goals of nonduality, consiousness, and ETC and work to encorporate the teachings as they apply to my local illusory life, Then I am self-actualizing just as much as the sage in the monastery. If I go it my path, I inherently am doing it authentically. to be "more authentic" is an illusion itself. Is there any counter argument to this?

Applying awareness shines living light on nothingness and creates a moment of living perfection out of sheer non-existence, the now. We will reap what we sow, this is how reality works. If you spit against the wind, you are not in an advantageous position. . Let's save the bees. The Enlightened Master Bee: You think I am this body made of honey? You insult me! I am not this. I am consciousness. I am conscious awareness. Come and see for yourself. Enter this world of wonder and don’t stop until you’ve reached the esteemed destination of Nirvana. Also known as Alive Beingness. Nirvana/Love is not simply a place, buzz Nirvana/Love is not simply an event, buzz Nirvana/Love is a feeling. buzz Nirvana/Love is the feeling of I am: Alive Existence. buzz Release the shell, don't hold it in no more. Pour out your soul, buzz buzz, for me to see. to make it whole. Be and be and be and bee. Don't hide behind the mask, just let it all go out and be. Buzzbuzz, buzzbuzz, buzzbuzz, buzzbuzz A feeling of alive peace and alive quite buzzz, behind every noise and happening. A peaceful pieace of existence. The aliveness of being present in the alive present moment. The now, as the humans call it. There’s nothing to do. There’s just being to be “beinged”. You are that presence, you are where the light touches and your core is so deep it reaches the center of the entire existence, because it is you. Buzz buzz! Henry the disciple bee: Oh WOW, I am aware of this yes. buzzbuzz I feel I am this alive being. buzzbuzz. buzzbuzz. buzzbuzz It feels. buzzbuzz. buzzbuzz. buzzbuzz Nice! Actually. buzzbuzz. buzzbuzz. buzzbuzz I can see what you mean. buzzbuzz Isn't it wonderful how Nirvana is just no steps away? Not 2 steps, not even 1 step. buzzbuzz No steps. buzzbuzz I get it now. buzzbuzz Wow. buzzbuzz This is so simple, thanks, my master. buzzbuzz I don't need to take steps to know that I am! You are the best at explaining the Truth to a simple mind like mine! I am a lowly disciple. buzzbuzz I have been graced by the glory of being showed a direct realisation of being. buzzbuzz Omg, I am actually a master of being, because I have been always! Wow such unity, such clarity. buzzbuzz It cannot be described. buzzbuzz I have to share this with everyone. buzzbuzz They need to feel the joy I am feeling! Alive being IS Nirvana, thank you Enlightened Master for letting me in on the little secret of Life. buzzbuzz The little big secret. buzzbuzz That is nothing and everything THank you so so soso so so sos so Much. buzzbuzz Disciple #2: Wont you two be quiet I am trying to meditate in order to reach the state of no mind and reach the true Nirvana, where thought can no longer harass me and just let me be ;( ;( I CRI EVERTYM I wanna be free, I wanna be liberated!!!! I want peace and quiet and you two won't shut up about your Nirvana realisations. buzzbuzz. buzzbuzz. buzzbuzz WAIT I WANT THAT TOO, WAIT I UNDERSTAND TOO NOW. buzzbuzz OMG THIS IS IT! I AM OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! BUZZZZZZZZZZ I AM PEACE AND QUIET ITSELF I AM CONSCIOUSNESS, THE SCREEN BEHIND ALL THE PAINT. buzzbuzz OMG THANK YOU O ENLIGHTENED MASTER OF ENLIGHTENING ME TOO. buzzbuzz OMG THE POWER OF YOUR YELLOW BEE SHINE HAS MADE A DENT IN MY MIND AND LET THE ENERGY FLOW. buzzbuzz Enlightened Master Bee: Look at the buzz, it's everywhere. It's silence. buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. The present moment can be both the most silent and the most loud. Buzz, Buzz, Buzz!!! Hahahahahhah

Thanks, This got me thinking.. One of the strangest things about Dimethyltrytamine that i have encountered is every time you go back, you remember how everything you have done in life has led up until that point to going back there, from every breath, to even the smallest of choices or thoughts, even the ant that walked by that you weren't aware of all has meaning, all has some part in the play that led up until that moment, its all understood in a divine way but at the same time empty like everything is there, infinite in nothingness... No matter what you try to do to manipulate, once you get to that state you just know that is was already set to happen beforehand it blows my mind everytime..

Whenever I meditate at some point in the meditation I try to experience nothingness. But what I repeatedly find is that I experience only the nothingness within my body outline. I've done a few self enquiries before and what I've found is that I can't locate myself within the body and I think I've almost no problem with the fact that I'm not my body or any kind of thing inside it. That nothingness that I feel when I try to experience nothingness, is it real or am I deluding myself after hearing Leo talk that I'm nothing ? Today while meditating I again tried to experience nothingness and then this thought occurred - "I right now only experience the nothingness inside me, then my goal is to somehow also experience the nothingness outside". So my second question is, am I aiming towards the right direction ? Or am I thinking too much and should I just strictly stick with the technique of the meditation ?

I don't think the meditation (the appropriate word for the practice that I do is kriya) that I do involves doing nothing. Its a 3 part technique and in the first part of it I'm supposed to have a mild focus between the eyebrows while taking in the thought "I'm not the body" with inhalation and "I'm not even the mind" with exhalation. So when I take in those thoughts, at some point I try to feel into it and try to experience something beyond the mind and the body but it seems everytime I try I can't experience anything beyond the mind. So I think this is what Leo said that I need to repeatedly fail in this attempt so that my mind finally gives up. Maybe this isn't what you call meditation but I thought I'll try this out. I'm just starting to get into a routine, before that I was just doing meditation whenever I feel to. I actually put this kriya in the routine before my planned date. Maybe on the planned date I'll add a normal meditation probably the do nothing technique. Besides this, I also recently started doing something called the Stop technique in which suddenly during the middle of the day I suddenly stop doing everything (even breathing) for a moment. When suddenly I stop it said that the mind also stops for a moment and I try to notice it. Again here I noticed that feeling of nothingness within my body.

Contemplation question for grasping Nothingness: Who wants to know?

I've never got this point, maybe you can help me! I get how nothingness can be known in its pure form. Rupert Spira put it like this: "it’s the sinking and sinking and sinking and sinking of the attention into its source and as the attention sinks into its source, it is, gradually in most cases, very occasionally suddenly, but gradually in most cases, divested of all the limitations that thought and feeling have superimposed on it and at some point it stands completely undressed. And attention undressed, attention divested of all limitations is pure consciousness". I've already had a taste of the process Spira is describing when I did your guided letting go meditation. So I get that if I let go of everything (and yes I know that I, the person, can't let go because I don't exist) pure awareness will remain. What I've never understood is how it's possible to be aware of nothingness merged with content! I've heard Shinzen Young and Rali say that it's like an intuitive knowing, but this doesn't really mean anything. Could you please help me understand?

Contemplation question for grasping Nothingness: Where is Leo's hair?

If Leo posted on this thread, he would have said ".... these are just the conceptualizations of your minds; go check my mindfulness videos! -have you ever gonna learn, for the god's sake guys! ...." No, sorry, not 'for the god's sake', it would be "for the recognition of the Nothingness"?

it is hard to figure out what to say. the main things of concern regarding my personal interests are that, well I am recovering from some serious skill and emotional detriments. and it is kind of confusing why it is taking so long to recover, yet I keep discovering new ways to grow myself... these past few months the majority of my effort has been on my physical health, I could not sit or lay down without pain, but now I am healthier again. Unfortunately the habits I was working on backslided. but so far my backsliding when it happens - each time where it falls too is slightly ahead of where last I backslid too. So this is not the main concern - the main concern instead is, on strategic stuff. I watch the strategic video a few times, should watch it again too. But it is not quite targetting what I am worried over - and the pillars are kind of abstract too - idk. the thing that is hard is IDK what exactly to say, that I am trying to work on. There is this thing sometimes discussed in phsychology called executive fuctioning, and that is what I cannot do, but it seems in my observation that the root cause of my struggle with it is unusual compared to teh typical cases discussed. some thing I know I am lacking are, focus and sustained application of tasks. Focus also in the way where I can't sort out my ideas into a straightforward plan. Certainly my physical condition held me back too - could not work very long before being tired - but that is not a concern as it is improving. I mean it is a concern but not one I'm sturggling with, one I'm overcoming. focus is the one key I need to work out. and generally - meditation targets a certain different type of focus if that makes sense? I should really spend time figuring my own method of meditation which better targets this type of focus - meditation targets staying with one thing on mind, and generally I am already working towards that - but the "focus" that I am struggling with is Decision Making. That I get locked in circular thinking trying to make a decision. This is similar in a way, but when I am mindful it is easy to maintain focus tho it occasionally gets disrupted. but when I am deciding, I can't stay focused. everything is important. In a way it will help as I get better at handling the big picture and the small picture and swapping between those, but I feel like there's something about it that I can't put my finger on that isn't working well. The other thing regarding my current struggles that I've identified but unsure how to approach is, self-efficacy, I think the word is. Anticipating accurately what exactly you can do. Generally speaking I trust that in being aware of it over time I will get better at it, but it would be convenient to have some outside inspiration boosting my ideas regarding this - giving me a boost as I try to figure it out. and certainly, not being focused makes my growth in general harder, as I keep switching between goals between weeks. maintaining a stable output despite lower periods of my week is also one thing I am wondering about. I know you mentioned in one video about cycles being natural, tho you were talking about a yearly scale. In terms of big picture right now I'm working on my monthly big picture. but one thing I realize is that even when in a lower cycle, you don't need to just sleep all day and be mopey - there are activities you can do when feeling worn out or extra unmotivated, and so I try to do them. And another thing on my mind, not really a concern but just the last of my major current focuses. is mindful activity, over sedimentary meditation. I would really enjoy a video about that lol - or alternatively, a video about how to discover and develop your own strategies of meditation. later in life I will take on more regular meditation habits, but the life I'm pursuing is one of accepting the dual illusions as important for the locality of our human existence if this makes sense? I am unsure about this as you generally am interest in being monk-like and hugely push pursuit of enlightenment above all else, but I am instead pursuing a mixed approach. I am not sure if this analogy will hold well for you as it has meaning for me, but I've noticed in many things - and this is especially apparent in the simplified "test environment" of games - that often there are strategies in the game to increase your resource increase. um, to invest in investing itself, rather than just putting X cost into growth, you put some of it into having more growth capable. And - in the limited scale of a game - if you put in too much investment into growth, you fall behind anyway because others just produce the whole time. but otherwise, investing in growth is clearly superior. And so in regards to consiousness - my view and maybe you feel this is a poor view idk lol and tbh I won't be swayed by your rebutal regarding this - you've given plenty in your videos already - but the sage's path is investing more into the growth of consiousness than what I feel is healthy for me to do now. Maybe sometime later in life - perhaps soon perhaps never - I will. but right now, I Need to get a stable footing - to get myself self-reliant instead of dependant on the givings of relatives. And this involves a lot of personal growth - so I need to focus on applicative doings much much more than sedimentary thinkings. So the consiousnness work I focus on is in the moment- mindfulness while I am doing an activity of some kind - and only as much focus on that practice as I can afford. oh that reminds me - one thing I wonder about is how you put down multitasking. I think tho that you speak of a specific scale and I do not speak of that scale. but I do know that I do multitask too much - however it is funny because, we cannot live without multitasking. Our heart beats, our lungs breath, our eyes see. this is multitasking. mindfulness is multitasking - increasing it is opening up more "channels" or "levels" of awareness. IDK. I do not wish to speak of this much as my language to describe my thinking is not developed herein - and likewise, my thoughts are still overall abstract and intuitive, without detailed form, so I cannot even hold them still in a way which -- oh, IDK how to say this. So I will say - I wonder about awareness. In my experience awareness IS thought. I do of course understand that5 choosing labels to mean certain things is important for the health of discourse - so clarifying awareness as seperate from thinking is important in transcending the traps of thinking. However all my life - my thoughts were without words - it was about 8 or 9 years ago now, when I started to work to train myself to be able to read and listen more reliably, and to converse and write with better clarity - and that led to me developing my thoughts such that they did include thinking. I do also not even have imagery in my mind when I think - the only visual I get is when my eyes are open and I am watching the events around me. (or, weirdly, when I dream) but instead my thoughts have always been just in the form of abstraction, of concepts, of awareness, tho I am not confident that in that way the awareness I have is the same precise label that you have. I wish I could have an extensive conversation with you or someone who has spent years working on awareness, regarding the difference or potential similarity between thought. But I notice that when I focus on being mindful of things - that the original form of thought I used to only think in becomes more present. tho of course - the original thought in my life, was not entirely the same as awareness - I was unaware too. it is very hard to discuss this. I have tried many times to speak of how I think with others, and always it is challenging to communicate. But I feel pretty confident that there is no real difference between sensation, thought, "sensation thought" being language/pictures/sound in your mind as you think/recal/predict, and awareness. at their root they are all the same thing - tho of course, in their complexity they differ greatly. Another thing on my mind is the imperative of community over individuality. sorry I need to over explain this to get to my point of concern. naturally this is not the marxist movement that - IDK if you follow him at all - Jordan Peterson is worried over - it is not to say that we should sacrifice individuality for the sake of making everyone equal lol no it is not that. It is complex to write out sorry - but it is like, the first idea to hold is the idea that selfishness is the best way to find selflessness - that to focus on your own needs, wants, desires is the best way to make the community strong - by focusing on the self first, you change your self, and this is one step towards changing the world lol. it is have lighthearted but the point is serious - the point being that the community is composed of individuals behaving as individuals, and it is healthiest when that is encouraged. however - it gets harmed if it goes to far - if the individuals treat each other as competition, commodity, or disposable pieces. Because - this is forgetting the very real fact that Other people can help us pursue our goals. And - other people want our goals too. and - the goals of other people coming into fruition help us in all the ways which we sacrifice goals for the sake of our interests - if everyone specializes, we need each other to make up for the skills we neglect. So - to harm or discard or step on others defeats this reality of communal growth. The second idea to hold in this line is - the nonduality/duality discussion - that the language I use to approach conceptualizing what the infinite, nondual, reality is - is localization of measurement. that the quickest way for me right now to begin to see infinity - and it is definitely still I am a novice in really seeing that infinity, but I often feel as if I get glimpses of it - or of nothingness - they are the same - is to think of how if you zoom out enough all the details fade away into a blurr and eventually it is just - uniformity. nothingess. but on the flip side if you zoom in enough - then there is nothing to see, nothingness. and so it is like math, graph, stuff - how everything is made of dimensionless nothingness, and yet with infinite of that you get something. So - we live in a localized world - the measurements we make are important because we are on this localized level of existence. This is where I bring back the community discussion - The self when surpassed you see that the self is whatever you localize your view onto, whatever you choose to measure as the self - that is what the self is. So if you measure your body then it is your body. if you measure your awareness than it is your awareness. If you measure all your posessions and your home and car, than those things are you. Or - if you measure your community, or the global world, or the global ecosystem, or the solar system than that is what self you are. and so to the concern - the concern is that I see many people and IDK if you are one of them or if in the inexperience of your viewers combined with your word choice your insight is not apparant - but valuing community is the self too. Sacrificing community to become a monk is a dangerous trap in this way - The community could work towards enlightenment - and it is a more challenging self actualization, to have a community self actualization. but much like there is an intuition which guides us as we self actualize on the individual measurement- the individual is that intuition which can guide whatever network that individual directly impacts - and the growth of that network's consiousness influences the growth of the community as a whole - and the community's growth influences the whole world. We could self actualize the world. the world is a self! I am sorry if my discussion does not well encapture the idea on my mind in this regard, and really. it is not a concern I can currently work towards, as I need to stabilizing this individual I call "me" . lol. Then the other concern in a similar line is - oh, I covered it already. not very well, but enough. so let me summarize now. there are four main points I concern over. 2 are more impactful for my individual pursuit in the now - and 1 is, in the now, more impactful for you to ponder if you choose to. only a dream for me to ponder. they are : - my ability to be focussed, motivated, and similar. - my application of meditation via active mindfulness over sedimentary contemplation (I do contemplate but 90% of my consiousness work is in active mindfulness) - the concern of any group or community, and especially any leader, of community over introspective work. at the localization the best thing is introspection - but once meeting a certain stage, there is potential to expend the "introspection" to be a collective effort. idk it is not well formed this idea but I feel it is important to realize. the power of a community being greater than that of an individual. it requires of course the realization that in the grand scheme of things we are nothing, but in the measurement of our community, our community is everything. Accepting the illusion as important, because if the universe is to appear one and nondual, then the illusory waves must behave as they naturally wave. I could speak a lot on this lol but I should try to keep it teaser for the sake of communication. And, I do not expect you to be swayed or not swayed it is just - obvious to me in my understanding of it, that good opportunities to spread the idea is one manner of its growth.

@Seeker_of_truth Yea that is a bit of a wrong approach to take. I made the same mistake for a time than just by chance of it's own doing something happened one day. But it's not going to happen purposely trying so that you can experience it for yourself. It doesn't work that way. You have to completely dissolve what is you first. Than what remains is nothingness. Which is nothing. But an amazing nothing. Never "try". That is too much "you". Too much effort. Too much desire. Too much ego. It only happens when you let go of everything. That's the key. But purposely trying to let go of everything, doesn't work either. Haha "You" have to become nothingness itself. No content. No desire.

@Seeker_of_truth Notice that you cannot experience Nothingness. Because an experience, feeling, or perception, is Somethingness. What you have is a subtle conceptualization of Nothingness -- some kind of image of it in your mind, or a feeling, or an intuition, etc -- which is actually Somethingness, not Nothingness. Also, notice, how can Nothingness be inside you? It's nothing, so it cannot be limited to physical space. Why don't you assume it's everywhere? All that said, what you're doing (trying desperately to grasp at Nothingness using the mind) isn't wrong per se. It's the essence of self-inquiry. I just want you to know ahead of time that it will never work. Mind (somethingness) cannot grasp Nothingness, ever! Because somethingness is not nothingness. You cannot think Nothingness. You cannot feel Nothingness. You cannot conceptualize Nothingness. You cannot intuit Nothingness. Because it's not a thing. Now you might wonder, "So should I stop?" That's tricky. This is the process of self-inquiry. You're being asked to do the impossible. It takes hundreds of hours of wrestling with this problem until your mind starts to learn why it can't grasp Nothingness, and then eventually your mind starts to shut up, and actual Nothingness might dawn. Whatever you presently imagine Nothingness to be, it is surely NOT that! I suggest you keep looking into this matter. Keep wrestling with it. You need to grasp what I'm saying here at a bones-deep level. It's not enough to theoretically know it. You need to experience the futility of the mind for yourself. And the only way to do that is by spinning your wheels a lot in this process. Have patience.

In doing personal development I experienced 2 mindblows caused by inquiry into two default positions at the same time and realizing that they can't be the case at the same time. The default positions (or models of reality) that I talk about here are what you feel deep inside is reality, not what you believe logically. The mindblow is supposed to weaken them a little by showing their conflict in your intuition. Here's how I got them and how you might too, if you follow the instructions : (the bold text is what you need to do, the other text is explaining) 1. conflict of 3D UNIVERSE and BELIEVING IN EXISTENCE OF OTHER PEOPLES REALITY Think about this: There is my reality, which I’m now seeing. If at the same time there is someone else’s reality, then where is it? (literally where in the 3D universe is it right now?) What you should arrive at: If you think of the world as the big 3D place and at the same time believe in others' reality existing, then focusing on others' reality should suddenly bring out the question: where is it. 2. conflict of 3D UNIVERSE and WHAT YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES IS REAL In 3D reality you can imagine an object at any place. In eyesight reality (what you see with your eyes) you can 'point' at location of any object that you see. But once that object is out of your field of view, not only do you not see it, but you can't even 'point' at its location, because where you should see it, because there is nothingness. Hold your finger in front of you. You can locate it in 3D and 'point' at it in eyesight. Now move that finger behind your head. Now you can locate it in 3D but, besides not being able to see it, can you 'point' at it's 'direction' with eyesight? (there's a drawing illustrating this exercise at the bottom) (the subtle point is in 'pointing' with your eyes, which is definitely not moving your eyes nor creating an imaginary vector; it's more like tapping it with focus) What you should arrive at: When your finger goes outside field of view, you realise that eyesight model directly exterminates possibility of 3D reality, because it's not there. Did you experience a mindblow at all? If you have simillar 'mindblows', please post them here. PS: if I'm just reinventing the wheel somehow, then please tell me

Hi, the main question I want to ask here is if depersonalisation is really a "disorder" and is to be seen as bad. As I become more and more aware of the meaninglessness of life as well as the no-self and as i found my peace with these things i realise more and more that my personality dissolves. I've become very detached from any emotions and all human traits, I'm just aware of the illusion of an entity and don't take "myself" seriously anymore. Personally, I don't see how that can be a bad thing because If you have a personality you don't really grasp the illusion of the mind that creates an entity, do you? I didn't ever even consider my depersonalisation as a bad thing until I watched "the dark side of meditation" on actualized.org yesterday where leo talked about the dark night of the soul, something that i definietly went trough, as well as depersonalisation as something you don't want to happen, even the worst thing that could ever happen to you, even though I think that these things are necessary to go through if you want to experience true nothingness which is everything there is after all. I just don't see the point in living an illusion, of living a normal human life with a personality that is just there to separate you from the "outer world". Could somebody here tell me why depersonalisation should be a bad thing if it's necessary to accept meaninglessness and makes you be in peace with reality just the way it is, without any illusions? what can it lead to in the long run that might be considered as bad? Just to note that: I ask this question out of caution of taking a wrong path in life, the "end goal" to me is being in peace with everything, and I just don't see how having a personality could help me with that. "end goal" because in the end it doesn't matter what you do in life anyways, but i don't see meaninglessness as bad, don't know how to describe it but i just don't have an opinion on it anymore, I just am, in total peace, without searching for a meaning or anything like that.

Hi guys, so this is my first post on the forum. So it seems like throughout my life I've made very few real social connections in my life. There are people that I've talked to out of convenience and for a long time I searched for people I could really connect with and form long lasting bonds with, However, even with my closer friends and relationships, they all seems to eventually fizzle out into nothingness. All of my experiences have left me in a state of half not wanting to try because the end result will be the same anyway and half wishing that I could make at least one genuine connection with someone even if only on a normal friendship level. I am very comfortable being on my own but I am very aware of the limits of trying to do everything by yourself. Though I don't want to be around people that hold me back either. Conflicting huh? lol I just wanted to know if anyone else on here have experienced this and overcome this issue somehow.

@DandaLeo also said that the brain is an idea, and fairly so. Counciousness comes from nothingness, which is in essence everything that surrounds us and us ourselves. You can't define it, it's that magical, like existence and life itself. Stop asking and you'll feel it for yourself, and the question(s) instantly disappears.