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I have seen that when you are caring for an elderly person 24 hours a day, busy meeting with health care workers 24/7 and exposed to a dying person, it can be quite irrelevant if a thought about beating-off/sex even occurs. Of course sexuality to me means all the usual feelings plus the added amazing closeness I feel with my wife of 20 years. I'm in my 40's and my sex drive is as strong as ever, and my wife and I masturbate some, and tell each other about it. or not. It just isn't a big deal and there is no shame or paranoia. You know: L I B E R A T E D. Hell, I forgot to fap for 3 weeks and didn't notice. Try attaining the 4th Jhana really hard, coming back to post meditation, and then dropping into Equanimity at the senses right at the point of orgasm. Do this after a several week no fap. Now you are doing spiritual work (highest yoga tantra using imaginary Consort). I did this about a year ago (first time through DIssolution) and the state that resulted dropped me into a Formless Realm Samadhi in seconds, fully disgoined from the body as an anicca wave passed over awareness. Big big Jhana and possibly the mind crossed Udayabaya Nyana (again) in those few seconds - minute. At first it was pretty terrifying, and a vedana will arise that says you are about to feel Infinite/limitless pain in your prostate/urethra area, but you don't get chopped in half, you go to ultimate bliss, and you may see the 5 aggrigates flash and the body go all the way numb as in sleep paralysis experiences/hypnogogic. In these situations very little liquid actually comes out to none at all. Unless the balance isn't there. I don't use this as a practice, it was just something I stumbled upon the first time through Udayabaya Nyana and it started being "available" or my mind made the idea in Dissolution. I think That nyana actually opened some swiss cheese holes that allowed me to see that Shinzen Young's video on this same phenomenon was available to this practice and 4 or 5 times it has happened, leaving some micro pops of ultimate insight in its wake. It's a scary technique at first -- But the fear of overwealm is a bluff of the body, just as the fear of letting go into Jhanic Absorption or VOID itself. I do not think this would have been likely for my body had I not at least had a mastery of the 4 Rupa Jhanas at a non-absorbed to occationally popping into "gone". Metta. PS: I'm 44 and have dated many women growing up and have had lots of relationships and casual sex along the way. Even tried to try guys but didn't really ever get that far. Never found a guy I liked I guess. In any case, every women I have ever met masterbated, and the only ones who did not had severe repression/martyr/victim complexes. I have had those in my past, and they affected me sexually as well. There were times when I would gladly go down on a girl and perform oral sex, yet I was insecure about getting a blowjob. That's bad neurosis. Masterbation can actually increase sexual performance by facilitating one to become more sensitive to one's own needs with regard to the body and the mind/emotions which arise in dependance. What important, I humbly think, is that one is always honest about purpose in the present, as some smart guy up there said. If it's unconscious distraction, it's time wasting. Unless you decided that it would be a worthy purpose and there was no regret/shame upon completion. But then it would not be an unconsciousness since you would have noted "voilition" at the fore. When I was younger and the internet was nonexistant, nude pics and video were hard to get. They were real easter eggs. You had to search BBS's and really wait 1 hour to download some Samantha Fox picture if you were underage. It was a coming of age to discover all those things, but this supersonic binary age tends to rush and cheapen, so now even human communication has become tacky and totally contrived, like our cartoon political leaders. Take 5 --- Fap 'em if ya got em. (but by all means if you have seen some Truth that says for you "No Fap" == Nibbana/Or whatever you are after...then please PM me. May you all have at least the super-subtle post orgasm Equanimity and hopefully much much much more. In refuge to the Triple Gem.

Bliss is Showering on you Every Moment Mind can live in the future, but cannot live in the present. In the present, you can simply hope and desire. And that’s how you create misery. If you start living this very moment, here and now, misery disappears. But how is it related to the ego? Ego is the past accumulated. Whatsoever you have known, experienced, read, whatsoever has happened to you in the past, the whole is accumulated there. That whole past is the ego, it is you. The past can project into the future – the future is nothing but the past extended – but the past cannot face the present. The present is totally different, it has a quality of being here and now. The past is always dead, the present is life, the very source of all aliveness. The past cannot face the present so it moves into the future – but both are dead, both are nonexistential. The present is life; the future cannot encounter the present, nor can the past encounter the present. And your ego, your somebodiness, is your past. Unless you are empty you cannot be here, and unless you are here you cannot be alive. How can you know the bliss of life? Every moment it is showering on you and you are bypassing it. - From 'The Empty Boat' , Osho

Becoming a Nobody To think oneself a rooster is crazy; to think oneself a body is also crazy, even crazier. To think oneself a rooster is madness; to think oneself a human being is a greater madness, because you don’t belong to any form. Whether the form is that of a rooster or of a human being is irrelevant – you belong to the formless, you belong to the total, the whole. So whatsoever form you think you are, you are mad. You are formless. You don’t belong to any body, you don’t belong to any caste, religion, creed; you don’t belong to any name. And unless you become formless, nameless, you will never be sane. Sanity means coming to that which is natural, coming to that which is ultimate in you, coming to that which is hidden behind you. Much effort is needed because to cut form, to drop, eliminate form, is very difficult. You have become so attached and identified with it. This Samadhi Sadhana Shibir, this meditation camp, is nothing but to persuade you towards the formless – how not to be in the form. Every form means the ego: even a rooster has its ego, and man has his own. Every form is centered in the ego. The formless means egolessness; then you are not centered in the ego, then your center is everywhere or nowhere. This is possible, this which looks almost impossible is possible, because this has happened to me. And when I speak, I speak through experience. Wherever you are, I was, and wherever I am, you can be. Look at me as deeply as possible and feel me as deeply as possible, because I am your future, I am your possibility. Whenever I say surrender to me, I mean surrender to this possibility. You can be cured, because your illness is just a thought. The prince went mad because he became identified with the thought that he was a rooster. Everybody is mad unless he comes to understand that he is not identified with any form – only then, sanity. So a sane person will not be anybody in particular. He cannot be. Only an insane person can be somebody in particular – whether a rooster or a man, a prime minister or a president, or anybody whatsoever. A sane person comes to feel the nobodiness. This is the danger.... You have come to me as somebody, and if you allow me, if you give me the opportunity, this somebodiness can disappear and you can become a nobody. This is the whole effort – to make you a nobody. But why? Why this effort to become a nobody? Because unless you become nobody you cannot be blissful; unless you become nobody you cannot be ecstatic; unless you become nobody the benediction is not for you – you go on missing life. Really you are not alive, you simply drag, you simply carry yourself like a burden. Much anguish happens, much despair, much sorrow, but not a single ray of bliss – it cannot. If you are somebody, you are like a solid block of stone, nothing can penetrate you. When you are nobody you start to become porous. When you are nobody, really you are an emptiness, transparent, everything can pass through you. There is no hindrance, there is no barrier, no resistance. You become a passivity, a door. Right now you are like a wall; a wall means somebody. When you become a door you become nobody. A door is just an emptiness, anybody can pass, there is no resistance, no barrier. Somebody...you are mad; nobody...you will become sane for the first time. But the whole society, education, civilization, culture, all cultivate you and help you to become somebodies. That is why I say: religion is against civilization, religion is against education, religion is against culture – because religion is for nature, for Tao. All civilizations are against nature, because they want to make you somebody in particular. And the more you are crystallized as somebody, the less and less the divine can penetrate into you. You go to the temples, to the churches, to the priests, but there too you are searching for a way to become somebody in the other world, for a way to attain something, for a way to succeed. The achieving mind follows you like a shadow. Wherever you go, you go with the idea of profit, achievement, success, attainment. If somebody has come here with this idea he should leave as soon as possible, run as fast as possible from me, because I cannot help you to become somebody. I am not your enemy. I can only help you to be nobody. I can only push you into the abyss...bottomless. You will never reach anywhere; you will simply dissolve. You will fall and fall and fall and dissolve, and the moment you dissolve the whole existence feels ecstatic. The whole existence celebrates this happening. - From 'The Empty Boat' , Osho

Yoga has fallen into wrong hands Yoga means union, the science of union. Meditation is the most supreme phenomenon as far as union with reality is concerned. Meditation is the god of yoga. But yoga has fallen into wrong hands, and not only recently – for centuries it has been in the wrong hands. The original fault must be with the founder, Patanjali himself. Patanjali has divided yoga into eight parts. His division is clear-cut, very scientific, but he was not really aware of human stupidity. He started with the body – and that's the right way to start. The first part of yoga must be physiological because man lives on the circumference, in the body, so the work has to start there, only then can it reach the mind. And when one has gone beyond the body and beyond the mind, then the third, meditation, happens. So according to Patanjali the first part belongs to the body. But he was not clearly aware that millions of people would remain entangled with the first part. Hence yoga has become synonymous with yoga postures: people standing on their heads and doing all sorts of contortions. That has become synonymous with yoga. It is not a true yoga, it is just the preface, the introductory part; and the person who thinks the introduction is the whole book is idiotic. But Patanjali did not warn people. If he had warned people it would have been better. People like Patanjali believe in others' intelligence – which is not there! They trust. Their trust is immense, their trust is as immense as people's stupidity is! They respect people's intelligence. So he did not warn people, but the warning was absolutely necessary: 'Don't get entangled in the physiological part.' A few people, only very few – if a hundred people become interested in yoga then only one person will get out of the physiological entanglement. And that one person will become entangled in the psychological. If a hundred persons are entangled in the psychological then only one person gets out of it...and only when you get out of the mind does the real yoga begin. The physiological part of yoga will give you great physiological powers; it can make you live a really long, healthy life. But what are you going to do with a long life? If you are idiotic, instead of being idiotic for seventy years you will be idiotic for two hundred years. It is not going to help anybody; it will be a calamity. Yoga can make a person live long, but what will you do? That physiological part should not be paid so much attention. Yes, a little bit is good to keep physically fit, but just a little bit; otherwise it is a vast jungle. One can be lost in its subtleties, in its complexities. The second part is even vaster than the physiological. If you get into it you can have many psychic powers, you can read people's thoughts. But what is the point? Your own rubbish is so much, what is the point of reading somebody else's rubbish? He is tortured by his rubbish and you are reading his thoughts – and you think you are doing something great! The real thing is to get rid of thoughts, not to read them. One even has to get rid of one's own thoughts; what is the point of reading other people's thoughts? And what is there? You can stand by the side of the road and you can see a man is walking along and thinking of his dog – so what? If you listen to people's thoughts, what will you find? Somebody is thinking of his cow, somebody is thinking of his buffalo, somebody is thinking of his wife, somebody is thinking of somebody else's wife! And you are thinking what they are thinking! Maybe the other person is also a yogi and is reading somebody else's thoughts. Then things become very complicated! The physiological part is ordinary, the psychological part is ordinary. Both can give power, but power is not the goal of meditation. Power is politics, all kinds of power is politics. And power corrupts – all kinds of power – it corrupts unconditionally and absolutely. It always corrupts. Hence I say the only essential thing, the real core of all religion, of all yoga, of all methods of search, is meditation. One should put aside everything non-essential. You can use things as stepping stones, but not more than that – just like jumping boards. You need not bother too much about them. Your whole concern should be one-pointed; you should move like an arrow towards meditation. Only then in this small life, with so little time, power and energy available and with so many problems surrounding you, can you hope that the arrow will reach the target. The moment you know something of meditation – not about it, but the very taste of it – a great release comes. a great relief comes. Suddenly all tensions disappear: anxieties, anguishes, are found no more. Even if you want them just for a change, you cannot find them. I have tried and failed! Sometimes I try very hard to find some anxiety but I cannot, it simply does not work. I have tried all possible ways, from this side and that side, but I come to the same end: it does not work. Once you have tasted meditation it is impossible for you to be in any misery. Bliss becomes inevitable, a natural showering, and it goes on showering like flowers showering from the sky. Osho, Nirvana: Now or Never

One thing you should remember is that whether it's a dream or waking life, all experiences are real, and have happened. So if you had a night full of blissful dreams, that's 8 hours of being in that state, (of course you aren't dreaming the whole time). What you are wanting is to experience this feeling all day... that's going to take a lot of work rewiring your brain and self development, which I'm sure you know. Also the whole fake it till you make it thing works. When you wake up from one of those dreams, recall the feeling of blissfulness and force it upon yourself throughout the day. Force a smile, which helps sends bliss chemicals to your brain. To answer your question, it is most likely this way a lot in your dreams because it doesn't surface enough in your walking life. Dreams are a reflection of your psyche, but also express things that are suppressed during the day. It almost seems that the hardwiring of the mind that we deal with in waking life is completely bypassed in dreams, allowing us to experience heightened emotions, and even sometimes be a completely different person, forgetting who we are in waking life. That kind of thing has always fascinated me, the false memories that can get implanted in the little pocket universe that is a dream.

Notice how the bliss lasts a little bit after you wake up. Keep extending the bliss, a little bit longer each morning, hold on to it, how would you do that? Practice. That bliss is a message.

Bliss is when you don't have a dog in the fight in the Dream. You can stand back and watch the magic show all the time, rain or shine.

I just wanted to share this tip, which was revealed for me on the 'spiritual path', for people who are struggling with their LP and for everyone really. For me now its more obvious than ever what is hero's journey really, what is higher calling, why life is about sacrifice, and love, and why people are so hungry for meaning and high purpose in life. Basically, everyone was born with specific task/mission/purpose in life. You seek purpose and higher meanings because God makes you to seek it. All of your given talents, inclinations, main interests and FEARS, especially those that come from childhood - all that were given to you not by mere accident, but by purpose. Your specific mission is dependent on having tools such as your talents and deepest interests, and it has to do with your specific fears which will direct you on the path. You need to find your LP within your soul/higher-self/your inner teacher, its already there inside of you, just calm down all of your thoughts and desires (ALL OF THE DESIRES) to be able to see it. And when you will experience higher calling which will come from your soul, you will eventually start to see how your whole life and your personality and all the dots connect with each other. It won't be rationalizing but intuitive understanding. This calling isn't some desire to create nice life, it actually doesn't feel like desire or even like typical life goal. Its coming from your heart, so it doesn't have flavor of desire, but it has flavor of huge sense of commitment, as if you are being pushed to do it, and deep need to sacrifice yourself for this mission. Yes, you were born to sacrifice your life to work towards this purpose. Thats your redemption of having gift of life. Literally, after your doubting mind will calm down you will feel more and more that you are ready, in some sense, to give out your physical life, your own ambitions, all the time you have left with, just for this mission. And this purpose has nothing to do with fulfilling your own ambitions and reputation. Moreover, its likely that you won't receive any praise, goodies related with your self-image and understanding of other people. Rewards will still drive you and hopes for the better future too, but they will be secondary coz your main reward is immediate, it'll be in the moment of doing your thing. Its not your typical sense of passion, drive or motivation, its much more subtle, calm and fulfilling. And now all the sufferings of life will be handled better and make some sense, they will be justified. Now you will really grow, understand life, have joy and be a hero. Hero has troubles and demons to kill and tasks and responsibilities, but he has deep fun and joy and love in doing all of that. Learning how to be happy in the midst of misery - that is one of the greatest wisdom that hero myths taught us. Moments of fear and slaughtering dragons are no longer meaningless like before. Now things have eternal meaning. In the beginning you will think that you are saviour of the world or hero, but soon you will drop any egoic ideas about your self-importance. You will just do your thing day by day, following whatever your intuition, heart, soul tells you to do, without looking too much into the future. Your soul won't tell ya future, but it can be your guide in the present moment. And, unlike your brain, it doesn't make mistakes. Think about Christ, he died, might seem unfair, but it wasn't mistake or for nothing. It was fair and meaningful. So devote yourself fully to your intuition and soul, they won't make mistakes. You will find the greatest freedom in being slave of God, however uncertain it might sound. And faith will come to you spontaneously. You will see that you are ready to live in solitude, with patience, without material goodies, ready to suffer just for this mission. And well you won't necessarily die like Christ because in modern days its usually not about putting yourself in dangerous situation. But you certainly will feel constant series of ego death and resurrection, because its essential for you to grow. This mission has to do with something which isn't you, something beyond yourself, usually it is specific task that you do for the good of other people. And its usually has to do with combination of your biggest love and interest in life + 'uplifting humanity' or survival of humanity. Which made me to think that human evolution itself is a part of this same force. Evolution is God's plan for the better future or heavenly future of humanity which won't happen soon, but you can make it a bit closer coz you are playing your role in it. Heaven on Earth - thats God's goal, believe me or not. So the reason of your unnecessary or inauthentic suffering is that you still didn't accept that calling. And your whole life is a sequence of same signs that point to this same thing. And life will break your heart, make you suffer and feel empty unless you finally accept that calling. There's phrase: God breaks your heart until you learn how to keep it open all the time. Mind will always talk about meaninglessness of all this staff, and that its bullshit and reality is an infinite playground and doesn't exist, and make you to think about having pleasures and having fun and doing whatever you desire. Thats devil's advocate. And thats the whole trick and the whole game. Thats ying-yang. The whole point is to learn how to harmonize mind and soul. Have a sense of playground and fun with responsibility and purpose. Meaning and purpose aren't from mind and for mind, its from soul and for soul. Meaning and purpose isn't verbal, its subtle feeling. Its beyond words. Thats why life is meaningless and meaningful in the same time. Meaningfulness is feeling or higher feeling, not justifications and rationalizations. Meaningfulness is something we can feel, not think. If we think about life then sure we'll come to conclusion that its meaningless and purposeless. But think about it, so what if it doesn't exist? So what if its a dream? Thats all we have, whats your argument really? Non-existing dream is only reality, so be it. It doesn't mean that there's no meaning in this non-existing dream, see? Thats precisely the whole point of having manifested reality, God telling stories to himself. Everything is information, and information is inherently has meaning. Your DNA is a meaning in itself, code is meaning itself. Music is meaning itself. Forms are meanings itself. Its not rational and verbal, its completely irrational and non-verbal. First and foremost its a sense of meaning and purpose or lack of that sense, while rationalization of meaning or no meaning comes after. Animals do have sense of meaningfulness, thats why they try to survive, they just don't rationalize it. If you are tricked by mind you will go and fulfill your sensual desires and dismiss calling, but then life will hit you over and over again. God is so fair, you don't yet imagine. Once you learn rules, the idea is clear: to be observer and participant of the story, both in the same time. Kids listen to fairytale and in the same time they imagine that they are inside of the story. So your task is to be both storyteller or story-creator and story-iistener or story-observer. Good thing is that the more able you to follow your mission the easier, more effortless life will be. Everything you need for this purpose will be provided to you without much hustle. You might think its by accident, but no, its God leading you. And the best thing is that your purpose will have to do with things that you love most in your life. You love them not by accident, you were born to love these things. And these things are not always fancy or popular for others. This is what Jo Campbell called as follow your bliss. He loved to read myths, and in the end it was his purpose, to write about it, and now the whole world benefits from that. Is it fancy, profitable or cool thing - to read myths? Nah, but he loved it. LP is what you like to do when no one looks at you. So it can be really nice thing, its sacrificing your made-up desires, ideas and purposes for the sake of your real purpose. Of course, you might want to start with your made-up purpose first and it can lead you to real purpose. But anyway, you should calm down your mind and listen to your soul/heart/higher-self, however vanilla it might sound to you. There is master Yoda inside of you! He knows what to do. Find him. Start with questioning your whole life from your very birth, start questioning meaninglessness of short-term existence of human life, meaninglessness of accumulating staff and money and career and pleasures. And start moving towards eternity, make eternity your end goal, and meditate.

I just wanted to see if anyone else is struggling with an up and down journey to their awareness/consciousness...self inquiry. I have had very significant experiences that I believe were close to understanding what this thing called "life" is all about. I have had at the most 3 weeks of unbelievable calm and bliss and being so grounded and unaffected by anything. It was as if nothing was wrong or right it just was the way it was and I accepted it all with no inner conflict or struggle. That happened in 2008 for me. Since then, I recall a couple of other times where I didn't need any more answers...I wasn't seeking anything...I understood enough. There was nothing left to learn or know and I felt at complete peace and I felt so different and I just expected to always be like this. Watching the water droplets come out of the kitchen faucet. Looking....really deeply looking at nature and appreciating a blade of green grass poking through an icy snowy patch or ground. The different sounds of birds and dogs and footsteps. It was as if I was in tune with every single thing around me and I could identify 5 6 or 8 sounds at once and they all seemed to fit together seamlessly....as if it was all in harmony, like pieces of a puzzle. Then, somehow, i'm sucked back through a vortex and within a certain amount of time, almost asleep to everything I just experienced. Why does this happen? Even though I seem to forget, I also remember at some point and I come back again to what I know and believe but it's as if I am fighting a war to try to get back to the knowing that I have experienced. This is so frustrating and when this happens, I feel like I keep failing myself. Sometimes I can go weeks without realizing that I am living a waking dream and just acting out an old story line with the same old characters in the same old play and suffering through things I have already suffered through. It's like, how can I not learn after what I have experienced. Where is this battle coming from? Can I just not stay status quo so to speak? Why do I keep losing ground and then have to climb back up the mountain over and over again?

@BjarkeT cal newport is really dogmatic about not following your passion. really looks like he was pushing an agenda about that. rest of the book I like, but when he said that passionate ppl arent as happy, if you look at the study he references, it was a poorly related study with a sample size of less than 24 people. btw, why do you say that elon musk and albert einstein were not passionate about their fields? and Brian Johnson (the guy you linked in the video) is all about following your passion & bliss listen to newports argument on why not to follow your passion and see if it holds up against reality with love

Do both. I had the same, wasn't sure, and my 'bliss' came to me. This bliss was music! And then I knew. So the answer appeared right when I stopped pushing for it. Also what about 100milion dollar question? Ask it yourself!

During awakening there was a burst of repressed energy released. I don't recall any shaking. It was like my body was being destroyed. It was kinda like holy shit whats happening(in a funny way) rather than terror or bliss. After the awakening everything settled down and I entered into abiding non dual awareness.

Getting blown away with huge amounts of energy, spontaneous shaking, extreme amounts of bliss and perhaps even terror.

Has anything changed energetically after awakening? Any kriyas? Any weird paranormal things opening up? Bliss radiating out of the heart?

Letting go fully. That's it. Just resting as Awareness. Not as attached to the fluxing Dream. It's like I'm always meditating or something. Just peace and stillness and mild bliss. I don't have any more illusions of control within the dream anymore. So, it's just a surrender to reality. There never was a me doing anything in the first place. But what is missing is the illusion of Ego -- the illusion of control, doing, and conceptual-knowing. The illusion of being an actor in the dream who is trying to understand the dream. No. I am simply Atman, or unchanging Awareness.

I just cling to life much less seriously because I realize there is no Egoic me acting in it. Reality is gonna play itself out whatever way it does without any of my Egoic control. So, nothing I do is gonna change my life. All I do is rest in peace and bliss in detached awareness. It's been that way for a while for me now. At least a month, maybe two months. I've recently changed my Enlightenment theory a little bit and improved it for the better. But the moment I started to rest as awareness and let go, that was basically when I hit the Enlightenment jackpot. Everything else has been just a refinement of that. Getting the theory together to communicate that process to someone else, basically. It's been cool to develop my own theory so when I explain Enlightenment I can do it in my own words. But, keep in Mind, Enlightenment is simply resting as Awareness, nothing more, nothing less. Everything else said is just a conceptual exposition of this. And notice that Resting as Awareness is not a controlling, doing, or conceptual-knowing! So, you can see why concepts are technically irrelevant to Enlightenment. You really don't need them. But we are so trained on concepts that we need to use concepts to get out of concepts! So we do have to deal with concepts in this work very heavily. Otherwise nobody would ever become Enlightened! They would never get out of their concepts. So, life is a Dream that just runs on its own. Just sit back and watch. Enjoy your story, whatever that may be! It looks like I'm gonna be one of those annoying Enlightenment people haha. That's a trip. I never thought this would be what I became -- because I never had any control! See? It's so obvious to me now. There is no Egoic me -- literally no Egoic me. It's that simple. Enlightenment becomes simple when you get to the advanced stages of this work. Enlightenment becomes simple when you get to the advanced stages of this work -- but its extremely complicated in the early stages. That's because you have a lot of ignorance when you start the path, mostly of a conceptual sort. You've been programmed with a lot of concepts that you need to begin to examine. That takes hard work and some time to do! Everybody starts this path and this work in the weeds. Best advanced Enlightenment video I've ever seen:

It might be helpful to look at this a different way. The peace, calm, love, bliss that you want to “get back to”, has been there all along. It never leaves and returns. It is all things, it is you. The shiny things and dilemmas of the illusion can so easily trigger our thinking about it. Then it’s even easier to unconsciously identify or form a preference, a thought. I am finding deeper embodiment by proactively surrundering preferences. Food for example. I eat what is best for the body. I honestly lost preference for taste a while back. Not that I don’t appreciate taste, but “consciousness” as in beingness, is all, taste is illusion. So I surrendered it. Fitness is the same. I surrendered my preference and do what is best for the body. Relationships are the same. There is an epiphany of no self, and there is a ‘life’ of selflessness, and no, or as little as possible, preference relative to “my” body mind being the center or point of the relativity. I am finding this to be embodiment, and it is blissful. Ironically, the relativity of all ‘things around the body mind’ is revealed, as in a trip peak. I also have found that all is forgotten during a night’s sleep. When I wake up, I sit and do nothing. Staying in the all is forgotten. No talking, no watching anything, no thoughts. Within just a few minutes the bliss fills the body mind, as it is empty, void of subtle conditions. The nature of unconditional love is unconditional. It is unconditional to the bod mind, so only in complete surrender is it present. So essentially, try, upon waking everyday, complete surrender, complete body and mind surrender, before any activity at all, even observing. When there are no conditions of the person body mind, then their is only unconditional love. To your previous post, consider there is no soul, no human, no dimensions, no God, no universe. Nothing. It’s hard to communicate the full extent of nothing in body mind, and therefore no preferences or concept of these things, but that is when what is unconditional can be. It is always being, it’s the ‘anything added’ that get’s our attention.

@Leo Gura Hmmm. Thanks for cutting to the chase....I can see what you are saying and I am in agreement with it. The issue seems to be that it was my assumption that if I understood enlightenment the way it is described by many teachers, it appears as if it IS the catalyst to throw someone into the bliss and peace of knowing that all is one and everything is infinite and that when you literally experience this as close as we can get in human form to knowing the truth, the self as we have known it and all of its silly quirks and issues and petty unimportant mundane problems would drop away and that things would be without conflict because of the enlightenment experience and knowing the infinite nature of existence. How stupid and unrealistic this seems to be. This was my problem and why I felt so neurotic after experiencing that peace because I wasn't able to walk around with a smile nodding at everyone and agreeing with everything. My expectations were wrong. I fell into a simplistic view that enlightenment or the glimpse of it meant the end of the suffering fool living out a dream in physical form. I finally feel that there is something that I can work with here. The truth shall set you free ....but we are still living with a self that requires tending to. We still have to live within certain boundaries to be a part of society so we can function in this form. It makes sense that it would not be an instant fix but rather something that is so eye opening and so conscious that we could shift our thinking and habits to align with what we have realized. I don't have the most analytical mind and I don't conceptualize things as well as others but is this what you mean? If I am on the right track, then I can actually work towards trying to align my self with what I know to be truth and try to live as consciously as I can. Emotional triggers is the biggest issue for me and throws me back into insanity. I catch myself in unconsciousness countless times per day. I have woken up enough to see the insanity going on in my head and around me so I am able to do that, but I am still unconscious far too much for my liking. Yes the self is one stubborn bastard! lol!

@smd Enlightened folk aren't speaking from a belief system when they say all of reality is an illusion, or that it's a dream. They're speaking from experience. Sure, if the unenlightened folk intellectualize this point, it's simply buying into a belief system. However, this argument is like Leo saying personal development works, and as a newbie for example, you're writing it off as a belief system, and therefore it shouldn't even be considered as a pursuit in your life. There are a number of enlightened folk on this forum who became enlightened in much less than 20-40 years of 'work'. Some realized liberation as young as 16, and others began and realized it only in their 20's. I can't agree with this all-or-nothing perspective: Either LP and fulfillment or no LP and no fulfillment. Many enlightened folks themselves don't even a solid direction of where their lives are headed in the next month, let alone 10 years from now, because they are utterly immersed in the present moment. Yet, simultaneously, they do what they desire at each moment, and paradoxically, their actions culminate/add to a life purpose as perceived from the 'outside' over time. Eckhart Tolle and other spiritual teachers are doing just that. To ignore the facts of our reality (i.e. that you don't exist), which you can prove to yourself, and wisdom of wise others, has the potential to lead to delusion and further suffering. The reality is, that there is no one who is pursuing a life purpose, or not pursuing one. However, it doesn't hurt if the body is fulfilling upon its highest desires at each and every moment. In this way, I think @Nahm's general advice is good: do what you want. You can still live a life purpose by doing what you desire in each and every moment, even having never taken an LP course. If you desire to master a skill for its own sake, great! Do that. Follow your bliss, and don't take things so seriously In this way, chopping wood and carrying water today is still chopping wood and carrying water tomorrow. I just think it's more nuanced than this harsh attitude of all or nothing, while I do understand that perspective because I was there too. I'd love to hear feedback on these thoughts. Cheers.

@Slade Follow your bliss

Religion is dead. It has really lived too long, it should have been dead long ago. It has not done any good to humanity, it has done immense harm. It has divided humanity. It has given different groups of people the idea that “You are the real people of God,” that “You are special; other human beings are second class.” It has fulfilled the egos of Jews, of Christians, of Hindus, of Mohammedans – of everybody. It has created so many wars. It has killed millions of people, burned thousands of people alive, and all in the name of God. For your own sake you are being burned alive! Religion is one of the most criminal phenomena that have existed in the world. It is time that we declare it dead. But remember, every death is a beginning of something new; every death is not an end. On the one side it looks as if something has ended, but on the other side something fresh starts growing. The death of religion becomes the beginning of religio. The word “religion” comes from religio. Religio has a beauty of its own, which is lost in “religion.” Religio means an existential, an experiential phenomenon. The very word means coming to a point where you are one – one with yourself, one with existence. Religion which comes from the same root does not have that meaning. It, on the contrary, makes you split. Making you one is not its work; its work is to make you schizophrenic, to put you into a split state, to put you against your own body, to put you against your own sex, to put you against yourself; to divide you into parts, fragments, and create an inner conflict in you. All religious people are continuously fighting with themselves, because their biology says to do something, and their holy scripture says to do just the opposite. Their own being wants to grow in one way, but the priests direct them into some other way. Every religion has been trying to make you somebody else. No religion has allowed you to be just yourself. They are all afraid of your being just yourself; then their function is lost. Their function is to create conflict in you, to make you miserable, suffering, in anguish. Then naturally you have to seek help. They create the disease, and then they start praying for you to be forgiven. They are the criminals, and they are asking for you to be forgiven. And whom are they asking? There is nobody. So it is really a great exploitation by the priesthood of all the religions. They have destroyed every individual. They have made you Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, but they have not allowed you to become just an individual, a human being. You were born not as a Christian, you were born not as a Buddhist; you were born just as a human being. They have destroyed your innocence; they have misdirected your life. They have molded you into something which you cannot become; it is not your potential. This is not religio. Religio is accepting you in your totality, making you whole, healthy. And that opens the door to become one with existence. You are part of it; every moment you are part of it. You are breathing existence in and out every moment – you are eating it, you are living it in every possible way. No man is an island, we are all part of an infinite continent; that’s what I am calling existence. Religio will relax you. Religio will give you, for the first time, the dignity of being a human being, and the vastness of being part of the whole existence. Religion is dead, religio is born. Religion is something like marriage: unnatural, arbitrary, artificial, created by social convenience. Religio is like love: natural, simple. No law is involved in it; no society, no culture dominates it. Love is a law unto itself, and love gives you something that is immensely precious. You start feeling needed. You are not superficial, you are not just accidental; you are needed, you are fulfilling some essential need. Love gives you the first glimpse that existence wants you the way you are. There is no need to become Jesus Christ or Gautam Buddha. Nature does not like carbon copies. Existence likes originals. You, in your originality, are acceptable. But a Christian is a carbon copy; he is trying to become Jesus Christ, and in two thousand years not a single Christian has succeeded. In twenty-five centuries not a single Buddhist has succeeded in becoming Gautam Buddha. Is it not proof enough? You can go even further backwards. In five thousand years, no Hindu has succeeded in becoming a Krishna. It is simply impossible. Nature never repeats. They say history repeats itself – because history is not nature. History belongs to carbon copies, retarded people; naturally it repeats itself. They don’t know what else to do, so they go on doing the same thing again. Nature is very inventive. It does not create even two persons equal, even similar. There are four billion people on the earth today, but you cannot find two persons who are exactly alike. Even twins are not exactly alike. They may appear to be, but their mother knows who is who; their wives know who is who. There are differences – very subtle. Outsiders may be puzzled, but those who know them closely can see the differences in their individuality – in their gestures, in their way of speaking, in their way of thinking, in their way of walking – in small things. But the differences are bound to be there. Religion has tried a very futile experiment, and almost destroyed humanity for thousands of years. The death of religion releases you from becoming somebody else. Now you can enjoy being yourself. We can call our commune, religio – a mystery school, a way of searching for one’s own spiritual being, a way of discovering one’s original face. Nobody has to become anybody else. And you are asking me, “God is dead, religion is dead, then what is left now?” In fact, those were the hindrances, which are removed, and everything that is essential is available now. Now you can be yourself without any guilt. Now you can be simply a human being without belonging to any organized religion. The moment truth becomes organized, it becomes untrue. I am reminded of a beautiful ancient story. A newly-recruited devil came running to the master devil, huffing and puffing, and said, “Something has to be done immediately! One man on the earth has just found the truth! And if he spreads it, what are we going to do? Our whole business is finished! He has to be prevented.” The old man laughed. He said, “You are a new recruit; you don’t know – my people are already there.” The young devil said, “Your people?” He said, “Yes, my people. The priests are already around the man, and they are organizing whatever he has found. That is my way of destroying truth, and it has never failed; for centuries I have been doing that. The priests – all the priests – are in my service! They don’t know it, but the moment truth is organized, it dies.” Why does truth die when it is organized? It dies because it is an individual experience. Can you organize love? Nobody has ever thought about it; otherwise it would have died. You cannot organize love. Love is something that transpires between two individuals. It does not need any priest, it does not need any book of instructions. When I was studying in the university I used to have a roommate – he was a little bit of an idiot, just the same as people are all over the world. He asked me, “Everybody talks about the fact that he has fallen in love, and some girl has fallen in love with him. It seems we are the only two persons in this whole university…. About you there is no problem, because you don’t want anything to do with any love, any woman, because you think they will be a distraction in your search. I don’t know what you are searching for, but I am at a loss. I want to fall in love. But how to fall in love? I have been to the university library looking for a book, HOW TO FALL IN LOVE; there is not a single book on the subject. And I cannot ask anybody else, because they will simply laugh. If everybody knows how to fall, then why don’t I?” I said, “You don’t be worried, I will teach you. You just choose the girl that you would like to fall in love with.” He said, “I chose her two years ago, but how to start? The moment she enters, I become so nervous in the classroom, I forget all about love. I forget even what the teacher is saying.” I said, “Don’t be worried. I will write a love letter for you. You simply post it to the girl and wait for the answer.” I knew the girl; she was one of the most beautiful girls in the university. She had been interested in me, but I had told her, “Right now, I am involved too much in my own work, in my meditations, and I don’t think you have patience enough to wait. But if you can wait, then I can promise you one thing: the day I become enlightened I will be ready. But not before that.” She said, “Enlightened? My God! How long will I have to wait?” I said, “Nobody knows. I may become enlightened in this life, I may become enlightened in another life. Nothing can be said, it is unpredictable. So the best is, for the time being you choose somebody else.” But she was persistent. So I approached her and said, “Just do me a favor.” She said, “Have you become enlightened?” I said, “No, not yet. But one of my friends is in a difficulty. He wants to fall in love, but he does not know how to fall in love. So you will receive a letter from him. Don’t discourage him – write him a beautiful letter.” She said, “This is tricky. Then I will be stuck with that boy – and I know your roommate, I don’t want anything to do with him.” I said, “You need not be worried.” And she said, “How can I write a very loving letter to that idiot? I cannot!” I said, “Then I will write it.” So I was writing letters from both the sides. And the boy was so ecstatic! He could not believe that just with his writing a letter, love began. But then the girl fell in love with somebody else. She told me that she could not wait, her parents were forcing her: either she had to choose someone, or they would. “You are my choice, but your enlightenment is a strange thing,” she said. ”I have never heard of anybody making such a condition, that when they become enlightened, then they will think about other matters. I have to choose; otherwise they will choose. So I have chosen, unwillingly. I will remember you, but I am getting married.” I said, ‘You get married happily, and don’t feel that you are doing it unwillingly. I am responsible for making you sad, and for making you decide in favor of someone else. I like you, but as far as love is concerned, that involvement is possible only after my enlightenment, not before that!” She said, “Then what about your friend that you have been unnecessarily forcing upon me? He goes on writing every day. And you have made it such a mess that you go on writing in my name, and I have to post those letters. I read them and I say, ‘My God! That idiot!’ And you are praising him and telling him, ‘I will die without you, and I cannot live without you. You are my heart.’ What am I to say to that man?” I said, “You have simply to say that your parents are forcing you to get married.” And in India it is common, an arranged marriage. A love marriage is still not acceptable. So she told the idiot, “What can I do? I love you so much, but my parents have arranged my marriage. So now I will not be seeing you anymore, and you stop writing the letters.” He almost came to a nervous breakdown, crying, in tears. I asked, “What is the matter?” – I knew what was the matter! He said, “My love affair was going so smoothly. Every day a letter – I was writing, she was replying; everything was going so smoothly. And her father has disturbed everything. I will shoot that man!” I said, “That won’t help. You find another girl – there is no problem – and start writing letters again.” He said, “But I don’t know what to write.” So I said, “You do one thing. You go to the girl and ask for all the letters you have written to her.” He said, “What!” “You just tell her, ‘I need those letters, because I have not been writing them.’ And return her letters to her.” So he went to the girl and asked for his letters. But she said, “What will you do with those letters?” He said, “What will I do? Have I to live or not? You are getting married – I will have to write letters to somebody else. Now what is the point of writing the same letters again? I can use these letters. And here are your letters that you had written to me; perhaps you may need them sometime, because who loves one’s own husband? Who loves one’s own wife? You may need them.” The girl said, “You can have both the sets, because both are written by the same man.” He was very angry with me, but I said to him, “That is the function of a priest. I have not done anything unique; that is what the priests have been doing all through man’s history. They pray for you to God. They even bring answers from God to you – answers to your prayers. They make your prayer, they make the answers for your prayer. I have been just functioning like a priest – only the area was different; it was love, it was not God.” The priests have no function if there is no God. Then there is no prayer, then there is no holy book, then there is no ritual. The priest has nothing left. He wants an organized religion. He turns religio into its opposite and calls it religion. Religio is a freedom. Religion is a slavery. Dropping God, dropping religion, I have restored your freedom. Now you can be yourself without any fear. You can grow without copying anybody. You can just grow into your own unknown potential. You are asking, “What is left?” Everything becomes available; only blocks have been removed, hindrances have been removed. Now you can meditate. You cannot pray; prayer needs a God. Meditation needs no God. Prayer has divided humanity, because Christian prayer is different from Hindu prayer. Mohammedan prayer is different from Christian prayer. But meditation is the same. Here, this very moment… if you are all silent, it is the same silence. Silence cannot have any name, any label. And meditation is the ultimate growth of silence. Now you can be silent, you can grow deeper and deeper within yourself, searching for the center from where your life arises. The moment you discover that center, there is an explosion which is far more significant than any atomic explosion, far more luminous. The atomic explosion is destructive. The explosion that happens at your center gives you a tremendous energy to be creative. And it does not make you part of any organized cult, creed, dogma – no. It simply makes you a dignified individual, immensely blissful because you have found the greatest treasure in the world. There is nothing more to be found. In finding your center, you have found the very center of existence. You have found eternity. Now there is no death. And out of this experience arises lovingness, compassion, creativity. Even sitting silently, doing nothing, there will be a certain aura of bliss around you, a certain fragrance around you. You have come home. -Osho Taken from Bondage to Freedom, Chapter 23

Man, for two grown men who are ‘done seeking’, you both sure seem to be digging pretty deep for something. Two can tango. One is bliss.

I remember when I was in school, my teachers always told us that life according to Buddhism is equal to suffering. The goal was to never be born again in order to reach nirvana, then you end the circle of life (and suffering). I was attracted to buddhism because I find it so tolerant and liberal, it also embrace compassion which I love. But I couldn't understand this depressing view of life as a suffering event. And to be honest I can't understand that today either. Here we talk much about unconditional love, bliss, infinite awareness, the beauty of the absolute and so forth. This spiritual journey of mine and this forum has teach me how precious and beautiful life is. That's quite the opposite to what Buddhism teaches. This is hard for me to wrap my mind around, since Buddhism to me is true in every other aspect. Just this view about life as something to suffer I can't understand. Life is great, of course it has downs as well, but who doesn't want to live. Just go out and breath fresh air and you feel how wonderful and magic life is. So, how was this depressing view developed in Buddhism? Please elaborate. Thank you Namaste.

That little blazing topic of spirituality, new age bs, and consciousness inspired me to share that blog I wrote back in August. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I haven’t written in a while. The reason for this is because I have been exploring in my consciousness a place where all the voices in my head quiet and dwindle into one stream of muffled chatter. It’s the place of the monad, where all multidimensional existences come into one. I’ve been wondering for a while “who I am”. I’ve been jumping to one consciousness to another, remembering one life after another, calling myself many names. It came with a variety of personality and energetic signatures as well. I explored very male and “light” parts of me. Parts of me that wanted to serve, overcome and be righteous. Then I remembered my other half, the organic priestess in the shadows. The one that speaks of the Earth, of sex, of decay. The one that waits and observe. I love them all so much for they are all my voices. One is out to conquer the world, the other to nourish and be nourished. In that place where all comes into one I feel at peace. There is no drive in me to accomplish anything. Just a desire to be, to exist and to create in a very pure and direct way. To simply express. In that place I feel a string above connecting me straight to source and for the first time in a while I feel Joy. I find equanimity for the hurts of the world. I find purpose without doing and i find perfection. Not a conceptual perfection that needs to be achieved or “worked at”, just inherent perfection. I feel full and complete, not yearning for any twin flames or soulmates for they are all within me. I don’t care for ascension, for galactic wars, for symbols, signs and astrology. I don’t care for self help books. I look at my crystals and love and thank them but I don’t feel they belong to me anymore. They’re are just “there” for me to appreciate. Same goes for my house, my cats, my clothes and everything that I “own”. When i look below i see countless strings linking me to my numerous incarnations of the past, present and future, Galactic and Earth bound, of all genders and forms. Some I can access and “step into”. Some are locked away from my perception but it doesn’t matter now. If I want I can experience reality from their awareness, gaining insights and information, eons of knowledge piled into one giant inner library. Discovering that stream of knowing was certainly confusing at times. My many voices wanted to be heard. While channeling and “teaching” others I would provide myself with the framework I needed for my personal expansion and integration. For a while i worked on the threshold, passing souls through the door but then realizing that I have no interest in coaching them furthermore. I therefore salute and thank all the teachers with the calling, the patience and dedication to do so. Many of you, incarnated and disincarnated, helped me out on the path. I understood for myself that you cannot teach anyone how to spiritually reconnect. You can only show the way. And oh the mind loves its symbols and processes : it hates that things can be so simple. There is definite value in the “many things” of maya but I just cannot dwell in it anymore. I am leaving my spot at the door for someone else to step in and hold it, to be of service In my place. I’ll be the one enjoying the show for a while. Now that I stopped asking “who I am” i started to ask myself “what now”. Because being in a space of almost instant manifestation without any definite desire left me la little bitter for a bit. So much potential and nothing to channel it into. I know I need to live from that monadic consciousness (and obviously falling in an out of it for a while. You know. Traffic jams, bills to pay and whatnot. A little more healing, a little more karma to clear) and bring it into the world but when I tune into it ask what I should do, it laughs softly and answers “nothing”. And so there is nothing to do. Nothing to save, nothing to change. Just pure experience, pure creation and expression. I see that in Presence and Attention is true service to God. I believe that’s what true spiritual Bliss and Joy is about. Not that other thing, not that Kundalini ecstasy that lasts for a minute and leave you face down on the ground. It’s more of a fleeting feeling for me at the moment : a very fine line to balance between nihilism and fanaticism. We know then we forget, then we remember, then we forget to better remember once more. And so it is. Back to contemplate my budding lotus. With all my love, Ruby

Dear all, I successfully published my first book 'The Truth About Spiritual Enlightenment: Bridging Science, Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta' in Amazon. It is available in both kindle and paperback versions. I am able to provide the kindle book for free for five days using KDP select. The kindle book will be available for free from 24th Nov, 2017 to 28th Nov, 2017. I invite the members of this forum to take advantage of this free promotion. Kindle version: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078494FQB Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1973364549 Here is the description of the book: "Spiritual enlightenment is becoming a buzzword. Enlightenment is a popular niche for people who write or read about self-help, meditation, healing, psychology and more. But do you really understand what enlightenment is? Is it some kind of altered state of consciousness, a solution to get high without drugs, a way to live life in 24/7 bliss, a myth or a complete scam? Is there any scientific basis to enlightenment or spiritual awakenings? This book has the answer for these questions. This book attempts to bridge spiritual teachings of Vedanta and Buddhism with science. It gives you a practical and reasonable path to end your suffering and live a peaceful, satisfied and happy life. Above all, it will help you to find your own way and follow your own light. The book will also introduce you to some important concepts in psychology, which are related to spiritual awakening. The concepts and solution presented in this book are based on the author’s own experience. It also has a chapter that narrates author’s own spiritual journey which led to a complete spiritual transformation. The book also has a separate chapter which talks about scientific research done on spiritual enlightenment."