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Hi all, I need some help relating to tripping... There is an opportunity on Thursday where I have the whole house to myself as my family go away on holiday (without me, yes). I live 5 min walk from the sea in the middle of no-where and we have a woods right next door. There would be no trip sitter although a trusted friend of mine may visit in the afternoon. So I'm planning my next (3rd) trip for then. However, I feel a bit touch and go if to trip again or not... I'm not sure if my last trip ("You" Quite Literally Have No Fucking Clue.) has slightly micro-traumatized me (is that a thing?). Either way it has made me apprehensive about tripping again. From my last trip, I felt like I was REALLY dying and that I wouldn't come back and I don't really want to go through that terror again. Especially when I read reports of other people experiencing infinite bliss. However, last time, I came to this wall... I had a choice a that moment... to let go, or run away... and I chose to run away... I felt my body would physically die and I would never go back to my loved ones. Has this happened to you guys? What happens if you go past that wall? Would this be classed as feeling overwhelmed at the peak? Does this mean I couldn't handle that dose? So for this trip, What dose would be best? A low (100ug) dose as a confidence booster? Or should I just go to the wall again with 200ug (or more)? Perhaps 150ug would be more responsible? I'm not sure. I'm hoping someone can shed some light. Looking for some guidance. Thanks.

“The man who has lived his life totally, intensely, passionately, without any fear – without any fear that has been created in you by the priests for centuries and centuries – if a person lives his life without any fear, authentically, spontaneously, death will not create any fear in him, not at all. In fact, death will come as a great rest. Death will come as the ultimate flowering of life. He will be able to enjoy death too; he will be able to celebrate death too. “And remember, that is the criterion. If a person can enjoy and celebrate his death, that shows he has lived rightly; there is no other criterion. Your death will prove how you have lived.” Osho, Philosophia Perennis, Vol. 1, Talk #9 “Everything returns to its original source, has to return to its original source. If you understand life then you understand death also. Life is a forgetfulness of the original source, and death is again a remembrance. Life is going away from the original source, death is coming back home. Death is not ugly, death is beautiful. But death is beautiful only for those who have lived their life unhindered, uninhibited, unsuppressed. Death is beautiful only for those who have lived their life beautifully, who have not been afraid to live, who have been courageous to live – who loved, who danced, who celebrated. “Death becomes the ultimate celebration if your life is a celebration. Let me tell you in this way: whatsoever your life is, death reveals only that. If you have been miserable in life, death reveals misery. Death is a great revealer. If you have been happy in your life, death reveals happiness. If you have lived only a life of physical comfort and physical pleasure, then of course death is going to be very uncomfortable and unpleasant because the body has to be left. The body is just a temporary abode, a serai in which we stay for the night and have to leave in the morning. It is not your permanent abode, it is not your home.” Osho, The Art of Dying, Talk #1 “Why do we cling to life and why are we afraid of death? You may not have thought about it. The reason why we cling so much to life and why we are afraid of death is just inconceivable. We cling to life so much because we do not know how to live. We cling to life so much because really we are not alive. And time is passing and death is coming nearer and nearer. And we are afraid that death is coming near and we have not lived yet. “This is the fear: death will come and we have not lived yet. We are just preparing to live. Nothing is ready; life has not happened. We have not known the ecstasy which life is; we have not known the bliss life is; we have not known anything. We have just been breathing in and out. We have been just existing. Life has been just a hope and death is coming near. And if life has not yet happened and death happens before it, of course, obviously, we will be afraid because we would not like to die. “Only those persons who have lived, really lived, are ready, welcoming, receptive, thankful to death. Then death is not the enemy. Then death becomes the fulfillment.” Osho, The Supreme Doctrine, Talk #9

The recent videos Leo has been making basically proving everything is ungrounded, including logic has been fascinating. I posted this a while ago that all logic is circular, which was an insight that came to me after watching the strange loop videos. If reality is a strange loop, then anything inside of reality must also be a strange loop, so even logic itself. I myself am a very logical person, as an INTP personality type, that is how I primarily see the world, yet there I saw, my own world be destroyed with the very thing I use lol. It is funny, but sad. The infinite strange loop is essentially this: no matter what level we achieve, we go back to level one, and level one is also the last level. Just imagine that shit, like playing the old Nintendo game Super Mario Brothers, and just running across the screen to pop up on the other side, forever. What a terrible and torturous existence this is. I lately have said to myself, why even exist at all? The utter peace of nothingness before I was born must be way better than being stuck in a strange loop. And the fact I was not asked to come to this existence, is almost like a form of slavery I was put in against my will in hindsight. Of course I had no will when I didn't exist, and I was created to now have one, which apparently isn't mine. I actually partially feel bad I had a child and I hope my son doesn't think like I do about this life. Now I see why these logicians got depressed, some have even killed themselves, and no wonder why these 'idiots' we see in the world, seem so happy. Well maybe it is because they believe the illusion is real! Ignorance seems to be bliss for sure. Yet we came looking for truths and we certainly got them, and here we are depressed as fuck learning it. So now what? We can't even take the blue bill to go back to our ignorance. Is there a happy ending to this post? Depends. Even though knowing the nature of reality sucks, and that literally nothing has any meaning, this allows us to play demi-gods. Since we know this reality is fake, we can "game genie" this bitch and make it how we please. We can assign our own meaning and know that this is essentially the greatest video game we will ever play in. We can write our story as we please and live life however we wish. This is not to say that the matrix won't fuck us up with consequences of our actions, so we have to be careful because we do not control the absolute infinite, nor could we ever even fully control ourselves, as we are infinite. To me, it seems the most logical decision rather than offing ourselves is to make the best of this game, to enjoy maximum pleasure and reduce suffering as much as we can. WE cannot reduce physical suffering, especially if it is inflicted upon us, but we can certainly reduce our own mental suffering, which accounts for most of our suffering. And if we can teach others the same knowledge we have, we can help them do the same, and further level-up this reality....but of course, once we do that, we will be back where were started. Nooses anyone?

Don't take any psychedelics. By about day 5 or so you will start to hallucinate 'virtual reality' type hallucinations. I was literally projecting a cave onto my dark apartment and then fairly vivid figures (only getting more colourful and defined as time went on) were surrounding me and dancing/moving. The hallucinations came on rather gradually and all I really had for the first few days was a flashing strobe light every now and then and then some geometric shapes becoming more and more colourful which would serve as a sort of net which later created the projector like hallucinations. I made a video going into detail about my week long retreat and planning on doing 2 weeks later i the year because it was getting more and more hectic as time went on. Also had a brief non-dual experience when waking up out of a dream which reminded me of my 5meo trip I did a few months ago. I felt subtle signs of 5meo getting released towards the end of the week too, especially during sleep. I was feeling a subtle but similar quality of bliss that I experienced when I smoked the toad last October. It blew my mind seeing the dark come alive before my eyes without taking a single thing. Goosebumps all over when the first circus performer-like character came dancing right up in my face. Even had cheerleader strippers in there dancing with me at one point If you stick with the video you will hear me describe some scenes I experienced towards the end.

I came across a wonderful article, written by Dr. Harsh Luthar, about nirvikalpa samadhi. He has a wonderful blog about enlightenment. If you have time, read it. Hereis a link: https://luthar.com/2013/06/06/nirvikalpa-samadhi-two-different-perspectives/ Nirvikalpa translates to "without differences" and samadhi means merging with the Self. To summarize the article, Dr. Luthar says there are two types of nirvikalpa samadhi: Nirvikalpa samadhi #1- In this samadhi, the Kundalini shakti goes from the base of the spine, to the Sahasrara (crown chakra). It goes through all the chakras and the person experiences bliss. The experience feels so GOOD that the person doesn't want to come back to egoic consciousness. This is the most common one we hear about. Nirvikalpa samadhi #2- In this samadhi, the Kundalini shakti can bypass the chakras and go straight to the Sahasrara. Afterwards it goes to the Spiritual Heart at the right side of the chest. This is taught by Ramana Maharshi (RM). According to Ramana Maharshi, Sahaja samadhi is more advanced than nirvikalpa. Here is a conversation where RM talks about the difference between nirvikalpa and sahaja: In sleep the mind is alive but merged in oblivion (see (4) above). - In kevala nirvikalpa samAdhi, the mind is alive but merged in light, like a bucket with rope lowered into a well, that can be drawn out again. - In sahaja nirvikalpa samAdhi, the mind is dead , resolved into the Self, like a river discharged into the ocean - its identity lost - and which can never be re-directed from the ocean, once discharged into it. (Talk 187) Link: http://www.advaita.org.uk/discourses/teachers/samadhi_ramana.htm In many conversations, RM says sahaja samadhi is the natural state. The natural state can mean anything. It can mean whatever we're experiencing right now. It can mean being in a child-like state. A lot of masters say nice things out of compassion. I'm guessing Sahaja samadhi is when the kundalini remains at the Spiritual Heart permanently. Here are some people who claim to have a kundalini awakening (experienced nirvikalpa samadhi) in the west: Vivek Govekar Craig Holliday channel: Val secrets

@mohdanas What if I told you that you aren't actually in love with someone, and you want to defend an emotion, not the person itself? You stay in love even if seems irrational because the emotional highs are worth the suffering you will endure. I wouldn't have experienced being in bliss for 2 hours if it weren't for a crush. I can't speak about breakups but yes, having a heartache isn't accidentally linked to being rejected or breaking up. Yes, it's about the energy system. As for truly letting go? Trigger the emotion and let it wear off (meditating while doing so is extremely powerful).

@mohdanas The theme is always self discovery, which is love. The main character of every movie, every story, ‘defeats’ the protagonist, the villain, etc, but that is not what is emotionally celebrated, what moves us - it’s their discovering of their self, that they could do ‘it’ - what they’re ‘made of’. Every human relates to this, as each is made of the same infinite love. So you courageously ventured vulnerably into this relationship, and discovered your love (self) more deeply. The misunderstanding (duality) was that this love you experienced came from her, as if she emailed it to you, or blew it in your ear or something. It did not come from her, it all transpired in You. It is still there, it will always be. The love in you is bottomless and ever-present. Ambition: She, possibly, does not have resistant thinking to success like you do. For some, the simple life is genuine, bliss, and utter peace - the way. For others, the simple life is not genuine, a denial of self, a failure into one’s own resistant thinking. This lack of self, lack of courage, and barrage of ego can ruin marriages, parent - child relationships, undermine financial success, etc, etc. There is no reason you can not discover the truth, self actualize, be wealthy, and live in love with the universe - unless of course, you think there is. Then you have resistance, self doubt - and the ego will invent a complete repeating cycle of justification to keep the life you desire at arm’s length. It will sacrifice everything, ever person, every relationship you hold dear, to support the false sense of “right”. Careful not to fall for any of that. You can have, do, be, achieve - anything, OR, you can be right. Just be sure you pick. Life goes by fast.

Take this in mind: We are atrophied, muscles, joints, neural pathways, all this in a physical way. Because we limited the body/mind to only some ideals or ways of being. Now shutter the old blueprint of the ideas and you will start feeling pain, horrific pain in some cases. Continue in that pain, because the body/mind will recalibrate the re flow of energy in the system. Enlightenment is reaching a state peak within oneself when you start re owning the state in which you should have grown naturally. So the process is painful at first and as like any other feeling of extreme pain, joy will arise. In a sense is like growing as a child to adulthood, you feel the growth, sometimes is pain and heaviness, sometimes is bliss and joyfulness. The coping mechanism is to identify the growth and enjoy every part of it. Namaste, Mfks!

@WildeChilde Funny enough, I had an awakening when I was singing. I was blasting New Divide by Linkin Park in the car. It was night outside and my friend was driving very fast. I was singing at the top of my lungs and noticed that I was hiting even the very notes perfectly. On a very high note, close to the climax of the song, I felt like I was going into a state of union unknowingly. I felt like the song was singing itself. My whole head was vibrating weirdly. My body became very relaxed all of a sudden. I could feel my awareness expand into my surroundings and felt bliss coming all over me. I was like a full cup of water that was spilling all over. It was very hard to take in that much pleasure, plus the fact that I never felt like that in my life and blindsided me totally. It was a kind of orgasm that I hadn't experienced before. I thought about it for two days straight after that.

I feel like I am cooking up stories in my head that there is something left to say, blah blah blah like one last chapter and shit, lol. Somedays, I try to sell myself to this conclusion, someday, I am fine...though I do feel something in my chest. Short detail - She was ambitious and I was very simple, she looked at collection of wealth for great life, my ideology was simple and honest living. I was pretty satisfied and full filled with myself until she left me, which made me question and doubt everything that let me to learning about everything up until today. And, I kinda feel like calling her up and taking about enlightenment and explaining her how I was not wrong, eternal peace and bliss lies deep within, show her direction but at the same time, I am questioning myself that why I want to do that?, Weather to lift my esteem that she shattered or to help her? guess, it is both. I lost all my worth in front of her, and I think I wanna show her that, and show her where she was wrong.

Buddy it's time to go full circle and start self-destroying yourself. Not everything has to be bliss. I know you're trying to help people with anxiety/ptsd/shitty lives overcome their problems by telling them there's nothing to worry about and trying to kill their conceptual little ''self' so they can go and live life without worry. Haha guys! life's just a dream! Then follow your teachings, i loved it when you posted that hitler meme as your weekly video. Go nuts, become scared, experienced psychedelics not to connect with god, but the devil. Are you afraid? He's part of this dream too I just dropped out of my job and told my boss that i jack off to horse porn and laughed like a maniac before leaving, he was scared shitless of the sudden change and he's the one calling me right now trying to get me back to come back to work. I'm strategically planning on what crazy thing i'm going to do next, maybe go to my parents house and start masturbating in front of them? Maybe even ejaculate in front of my mother and tell her she's no different than the coffee table.

A couple of days ago I realized how closed minded and contracted my motives and desires are. I've decided to pray for everyone everyday twice. Let all beings experience and live in Infinite intelligent, abundance, well being, ease, flow state-synchronicity, existence, consciousness, bliss that is ALWAYS, ALREADY lying in plain sight. After all, from whom am I hiding all the goodies? With whom am I competing? Will this petty mindedness be something enjoyable at death bed? I was in this delusion that by being the gatekeeper of this infinite abundance, I'm saving all the goodies for myself. But in reality, my own mind is only getting petty and selfish day after day; getting unable to experience real, authentic, expanded happiness. So for now, my definition of Noble is that which expands your mind like an ocean and beyond...to a point it knows no limitation and lack. The way it is being expressed in my life right now is by praying wholeheartedly and slowly developing a conviction to selfless service. ''The belief in lack is the cause of suffering'' - Bentinho Massaro

Also the obsticle that keeps me from ,,going to the other side" with this meditation or with any meditation that i do is this: When I did this for the first time I just started this path, I didnt really understand it evan intelectualy, I understud it a lot, but the no self part wasnt in my understanding then and i coundt really get it what that no ego state is, or awarness and so on (i read eckart tolle at this time, outspansky, had one mdma experience and so on), this guided meditation or better say inquiry gave me the answer witch i didnt know, i experienced it, then i know it... So i listened to Leos guided video, and really did search with all my attentin for my self, I also did everything what he said as strong and passionate as i could, and then, at the end of the guided part, (maybe the last 15 sec of the guided part) it started, i suddenly found my self, and it was nothing to find, but i found that nothing, you cant explain that, how can you find nothing, every day i can go and serch something and dont find it, but when you get that nothing, its like finding a thing but the thing is now --THE NOTHING--, not like you really didnt found nothing, because u found the real nothing (paradox, isnt it), and the room started expanding, i felt ligh or light like nothing and some other side stuff, stil my mind and worked and I wasnt my mind at at all, there was no difference betwen body, mind, wall because i wasnt that, i Wast nothing and that nothing was atctually in everything, like the body is made of nothing but its like nothing is a kind of material that is stil nothing as much nothing can get, then my mind started anallyzing it, and i got pulled back, I also was scared and schocked because before I Imagined it to be like love, light, bliss, something beautifull, but not nothing, a part of me (the ego) was disappointed... I was scared and it was so radical and a shock! a big shock! Also i needed a lot of time so i could fully understand what it was and how it was... Here is the obsticle, NOW i know what I am, (no i dont know, that was to little and not comparable what Leo or you guys experienced) and when I meditate or listen to this guide i know what awaits me, i know what I ,,search for" how it ,,feels" i want it, and i also try not to expect, not to search, not to await, but it's not working... The first time i searched for something and nothing came by it self, now (evan if i try not to) i search for nothing, and i only find the body mind senzations, it try not to serach and a lot other thing, but it aint working

Possibly after awakenings but Enlightening experiences pretty much cures depression on the spot. Maybe years after if you no longer reside in the state and have fallen down in illusionary states again but as far as i know psychedelics can do that but natural endogenous experiences its usually ongoing bliss and peace no matter where you are. If you don't know what to do your not enlightened and possible was not an enlightenment experience. In true enlightenment everything is understood.

Have been searching the net and found some of the answers. the Mundaka Upanishad (3.1.9) explains that the living being is the soul, and that: “The soul is atomic in size and can be perceived by perfect intelligence. This atomic soul is situated within the heart, and spreads its influence all over the body of the embodied living entities. When the soul is purified from the contamination of the five kinds of material air, its spiritual influence is exhibited.” My Thoughts Beautiful, so the soul is as small as an atom, not like the energy in the human shape as shown in movies. It is situated within the heart and spread its influence all over the body, so this basically hints that it is more than blood that is going through the body, the heart is performing its function to regulate blood but underneath much more is happening, this make me curious as to what the soul is doing to channel its influence throughout the body like heart. It is further explained that we should know that which pervades the entire body by consciousness is indestructible. No one is able to destroy the imperishable soul. Only the material body of the eternal living entity is subject to destruction. . . For the soul there is never birth nor death. Nor, having once been, does he ever cease to be. He is unborn, undying and eternal. He is not slain when the body dies or is killed. . . As a person puts on new garments, giving up old ones, similarly, the soul accepts new material bodies, giving up the old and useless ones. My Thoughts So, the soul just is and is forever but then why does it go through different bodies? What is the reason for the journey of the soul from body to body? The Katha Upanishad relates that within the body, higher than the senses and the sense objects, exists the mind. More subtle than the mind is the intelligence, and higher and more subtle than the intellect is the self. That self is hidden in all beings and does not shine forth, but is seen by subtle seers through their sharp intellect. My Thoughts Layer of human being - Body - Senses - Mind - Intellect ( what is this ?) - True Self/ No Self From this we can understand that within the gross physical body, composed of various material elements, such as earth, air, water, etc., there is also the subtle body composed of the finer subtle elements of mind, intelligence and false ego. The psychic activities take place within the subtle body. It is also within the subtle body wherein exist the memories of past lives, however deep they may be. Yet, the living being has his spiritual form that is deeper than this subtlety, otherwise he could not have repeated births. A person actually sees his spiritual self as well as the presence of the Supreme Being when he perceives that both the gross and subtle bodies have nothing to do with the pure, spiritual self within. Therefore, it could be asked that since we are separate from the gross and subtle bodies, why do we so strongly identify with the material body? It is explained that though the material body is different from the soul, it is because of the ignorance due to material association that one falsely identifies oneself with the high and low bodily conditions. My Thoughts Alright, I do believe in reincarnation and past life, and now this text tells me that we can have access to the memories of your past lives. Yo Leo, have you accessed your past lives yet? So, to summarize, the soul is a particle of consciousness and bliss in its purified state of being. It is not material in any way. It is what departs from the body at the time of death and, in the subtle body, carries its mental impressions, desires and tendencies, along with the karmic results of its activities from one body to another. To understand and perceive this self, which is our genuine spiritual identity, is the real goal of life. Such a realization relieves one of further material existence. As it is explained, those who have purified their consciousness, becoming absorbed in spiritual knowledge and absolving any impurities in the mind, are liberated from karma that frees them from any future births. They are free from any more births in the material world and are delivered to the spiritual atmosphere. How to do this is the ultimate accomplishment of human existence. My Thoughts If soul is a particle of consciousness, then what other particles constitute consciousness? So the personality of the soul would be related to the mental impressions, desires and tendencies, and karma that it takes away after death of the body? According the author and blogger "Stephan Khapp" - to understand and perceive this self a.k.a enlightenment is the real goal of our life. - It will free yourself from the birth cycle. Is anyone familiar with the work of "stephan kapp", should I order and read his book on vedas understanding and enlightenment?

I am curious, what good is tripping on 5-Meo DMT if the enlightenment experience just wears off after sometime and you are back to ground zero after the experience. I mean, okay so you got a glimpse of the absolute, but now what are you going to do after 1 week from that event? It does have a benefit in that it can act as motivating factor towards the pursuit of the absolute, but will your life alter completely? Or will you be the same person you were before you took it? I highly doubt that the former will happen. At the end of the day, it's not just the experience, but the disintegration of all kinds of mental bondages. That is Nibbana. It is the measure of how much bliss you can extract out from mere existing under a bodhi tree , or by a river, with nothing but the lawn underneath and the sky above. If you need 5-Meo from time to time to feel good, then that is not what Buddha is talking in his Suttas.

Implemented this active meditation technique 3 days ago, I plan to do this for 90 days right before a breakthrough NN-DMT trip im planning which is also going to be right before a 10 day Vipassana retreat. I've gained enormous amount of wisdom in the last 3 days using this technique. Active MeditationsOSHO Kundalini Meditation OSHO KUNDALINI MEDITATION This “sister meditation” to the OSHO Dynamic is best done at sunset or in the late afternoon. Being fully immersed in the shaking and dancing of the first two stages helps to “melt” the rock-like being, wherever the energy flow has been repressed and blocked. Then that energy can flow, dance and be transformed into bliss and joy. The last two stages enable all this energy to flow vertically, to move upwards into silence. It is a highly effective way of unwinding and letting go at the end of the day. Osho on How to Shake: "If you are doing the Kundalini Meditation, allow the shaking – don't do it! Stand silently, feel it coming, and when your body starts a little trembling, help it, but don't do it! Enjoy it, feel blissful about it, allow it, receive it, welcome it, but don't will it. "If you force, it will become an exercise, a bodily physical exercise. Then the shaking will be there, but just on the surface. It will not penetrate you. You will remain solid, stonelike, rocklike within. You will remain the manipulator, the doer, and the body will only be following. The body is not the question, you are the question. "When I say shake, I mean your solidity, your rocklike being should shake to the very foundations, so it becomes liquid, fluid, melts, flows. And when the rocklike being becomes liquid your body will follow. Then there is no shaker, only shaking; then nobody is doing it, it is simply happening. Then the doer is not. "Enjoy it, but don't will it. And remember, whenever you will a thing you cannot enjoy it. They are reverse, opposites; they never meet. If you will a thing you cannot enjoy it, if you enjoy it you cannot will it." Osho Instructions: The meditation is one hour long, with four stages. First Stage: 15 minutes Be loose and let your whole body shake, feeling the energies moving up from your feet. Let go everywhere and become the shaking. Your eyes may be open or closed. Second Stage: 15 minutes Dance ... any way you feel, and let the whole body move as it wishes. Again, your eyes can be open or closed. Third Stage: 15 minutes Close your eyes and be still, sitting or standing, observing, witnessing, whatever is happening inside and out. Fourth Stage: 15 minutes Keeping your eyes closed, lie down and be still. I've already started to "get results" but its a lot different than what I initially expected. I don't know what "results" i'll be getting down this journey but what I've learned in 3 days is a whole another degree of surrendering, at the bodily level, a total willful loss of control (yes its a mindblowing paradox). I've also realized that my expectations of increased happiness and joy after completing the 90 days was shown to me my 2nd day of practice, I've learned to not attach myself as much with the results and the aftermath but to surrender to the technique and become aware of every mechanism at work. I don't have enough experience to articulate this yet so I'll do an update on my 21st day.

“No need for anything but this - Presicely where I am and what i am Is life complete - surpassing bliss In this alone, all things belong Where all is right and nothing wrong.” - John Butler

Ramana Maharshi warned against. Craig's a good teacher also imo, here's a little bio: At just 19, Craig began apprenticing under his teacher David in Southwest Colorado. David, a little-known meditation master, (who lives a private meditative life) guided Craig for 20 years, in the lineage of Sri Aurobindo. This relationship deeply shaped Craig’s life and teachings. During the last 10 years Craig also studied with Adyashanti who guided him through 4 profound awakenings (head, heart, Hara and Kundalini). Upon request from others, Craig began sharing these nondual teachings in Satsang. (Batgap interview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQhzeoVwnjw) He experienced an intense years of kundalini awakening, often experiencing extreme pain for years (after already having done a lot of practice) which would later transform into bliss if he could surrender to it, as well as experiencing difficulty with motor skills, sleep, memory etc. and worked with many people whom are also going through a similar energy process (whom mostly come to him asking: how can I stop this?). He also doesn't recommended energy practices at all, because the goal is self-realization/surrender anyways. So given we already live in a challenging world full of turmoil, poor support systems, terrible mental conditioning/emotional suppression and a complete ignorance of emptiness: focusing on energy practices might just make things harder on yourself as apposed to doing the self-inquiry/doing nothing or perhaps concentration exercises which is almost always recommended and which has you coming into peace and freedom without adding more buzz than what's needed.

Hmmmmmm.... it's not a frequent occurrence that the wisest man in this forum pays you his attention, let alone give such a wonderful compliment. I think this is it. I have experienced the ultimate bliss. I need enlightenment no more.

There is no end to expansive states of consciousness. And there is no end to physical or mental evolution/life stream. However there is the complete end of bondage/ignorance, of false identification with only the personal self. That is liberation, and that is always deemed the thing that is worth striving for because that is freedom, that is true bliss, which is not a sensation. That is why teachers urge you not to chase: altered states of consciousness, not to chase energetic sensations, and especially not thought theories. - Some enlightened people may have affinity for relaxing into ever deepening states of consciousness, and some may enjoy living as an active being more. But they care about neither, because they have given up the wants/aversions/fear of the conditioned mind. Your job is not to try to figure out what mahasamadhi is, what other teachers exeprience, your job is to be honest about the mind addiction, practicing, and see through your progress that liberation and the joy of the Self are true, studying won't do that for you, it might actually do more harm then good, in keeping the mind active, given how you approach it. Peace

@Shanmugam enlightenment is what you define as enlightenment = non-dual awareness, no suffering, no self, unconditional love etc etc etc It might be binary or non-binary I don’t have opinion on that. But salvation is not the stage of enlightenment or anything what Buddha and Krishna and Advaita talked about. They are only relevant until you have enlightenment but not further on the spiritual path. Because mind the period of time when they lived! It was before Jesus and evolutionary progress had limitation back then. Salvation that Jesus talked about is beyond enlightenment. Enlightenment is a naturally occurring realisation that one will have on the path to salvation. Salvation is when subtle body or what is called ‘soul’ fully merges with physical body, it is when descending evolutionary energy transforms ‘matter’ and eventually human-being acquires new supramental body within his physical body (Jesus resurrection). Whenever you had your head buzzing - know that it is evolutionary energy pouring through your head!!! And it only wants to fully purify you from all kinds of things and give birth to new body within yourself, you only need to surrender to it and let it do it’s work once you are enlightened. And yes salvation is from Judgement day. And what is it??? It is the quantum leap of the evolutionary process on the earth. I don’t want to dig into what salvation is because it’s difficult to explain that, everyone will misunderstand it because not many people really want to understand the big picture and what comes after their life and how this dream and evolution is structured, they just want instant relief here and now so they seek enlightenment, instant happiness instant paradise instant bliss, consumerism takes new shape, they want to hear beautiful words like life is a dream and that they don’t need to do anything at all, see ppl want easy solutions and relief but that’s just another delusion. They don’t want to listen anything about punishment and any scary things, it will hurt their mental paradigm. And anyway salvation was explained by Jesus and sources that I mentioned to you. If there’s nothing beyond enlightenment then there’s no reason for Bible and Quran to exist at all. Things would stop on Buddha. Abrhamic religions wouldn’t exist. Absolutely zero reason for them in such case. yet they all exist and talk about hell and heaven and apocalypse and resurrection and sin and all that staff which seems to be non-sense and completely unrelated to enlightenment. Hehe it’s because enlightenment is just one part/step of the whole game. Game is not based around enlightenment, game is never-ending show that will go on. And Death won’t liberate you from this eternal game (c) Aurobindo. Btw it’s not that I’m simply believing in some authority, I’m researching various sources and experiencing certain things. You should do it too if you are truly interested in Jesus teachings and Sri Aurobindo can help you. I might sound like BS, but anyway don’t believe, just research, that’s what I did when I intuited that it’s not as simple as nondualers think Well it’s simple in the end when you see bigger picture, but not when you don’t know and stuck with ‘enlightenment is the end’ paradigm. People like to simplify everything, make theory of everything consisted from few words like enlightenment and everything is one and nothing exists and so on. Haha yes all is one so what? Game is still on and it has its own rules

So I'm essentially wondering where I'm at and where to. I appears unclear because whilst I resonate with most definitions of 'enlightenment', the lines become very blurry. Particularly given that part of the big realisation was that it doesn't exist. Over the 10 year period that I have been meditating intensively, I've had all sorts of temporary experiences and ecstasy etc. All fun, but nothing like what happened 9 months ago. It was more like a whole new program got permanently installed leaving me entirely and completely WTFFFF! And now that it has finally settled down, well, it's a pretty damn nice space to be in. Just something feels not quite right. What baffles me, is that although I experience intense states of stillness, and have a strong sense of oneness, the sense isn't a solid one. I've heard some people say that as soon as they became enlightened the mind completely stopped and they were all one. I cannot relate to this as a permanent feature of the current program running. Often it is like that, and it keeps going deeper and stronger as every day passes. Is there some other realisation? What else can there possibly be after, oh shit, nothing I thought was real, I am the entire ocean, not that pathetic wave I previously thought, I'm not my mind and the body basically vanished, along with 95% of fear and anxiety and got replaced with joy, love, bliss and ecstasy. Even sadness and anger are awesome. I have been around a profoundly enlightened person that felt very different to me, and one that was proclaimed enlightened that didn't feel all that different. Where to differentiate between higher states of consciousness Vs just the personality of the person? Can I see that I am not this and that, but still have a habitual reference to it? That is have the realisation, but the sense of 'I' still hangs around because I haven't meditated enough? Maybe it's like when Neo wakes up from the Matrix vs when he transcends it?? Just to clarify, this isn't that thing that happens upon first kundalini awakening. That happened 9 years ago. This wasn't an experience, it was a permanent shift of consciousness. And it wasn't without a shit-storm. It was like a bombardment of realisations, not just one, plus ecstasy and sheer fucking terror raping each other, then stillness, bliss, love, oneness, desirelessness. No more up and downs, no more experiences. I don't come out of it far if I do. It's like this is now the natural state, not that bullshit that was going on before with rubbish stories about who and what I am according to a mind that doesn't exist. So 90% of that crap just fell away. But there is still this 'I' hanging about and still resistances and still ego nudging in. On watching another enlightened person's ego quite closely, it did become apparent that ego never ceases to try to get a foot in. Constant vigilance required. I don't do drugs, don't have a psych condition and had a happy family upbringing. I'm not an official nutcase, just a Sagittarius with too much Neptune. Work as a massage therapist/energy healer/counsellor amongst a group of amazing like-minded people. I'd love to just go sit in a week retreat right now, that would probably shed a lot of light, but still working through manifesting money! So what am I missing guys?

I have seen that when you are caring for an elderly person 24 hours a day, busy meeting with health care workers 24/7 and exposed to a dying person, it can be quite irrelevant if a thought about beating-off/sex even occurs. Of course sexuality to me means all the usual feelings plus the added amazing closeness I feel with my wife of 20 years. I'm in my 40's and my sex drive is as strong as ever, and my wife and I masturbate some, and tell each other about it. or not. It just isn't a big deal and there is no shame or paranoia. You know: L I B E R A T E D. Hell, I forgot to fap for 3 weeks and didn't notice. Try attaining the 4th Jhana really hard, coming back to post meditation, and then dropping into Equanimity at the senses right at the point of orgasm. Do this after a several week no fap. Now you are doing spiritual work (highest yoga tantra using imaginary Consort). I did this about a year ago (first time through DIssolution) and the state that resulted dropped me into a Formless Realm Samadhi in seconds, fully disgoined from the body as an anicca wave passed over awareness. Big big Jhana and possibly the mind crossed Udayabaya Nyana (again) in those few seconds - minute. At first it was pretty terrifying, and a vedana will arise that says you are about to feel Infinite/limitless pain in your prostate/urethra area, but you don't get chopped in half, you go to ultimate bliss, and you may see the 5 aggrigates flash and the body go all the way numb as in sleep paralysis experiences/hypnogogic. In these situations very little liquid actually comes out to none at all. Unless the balance isn't there. I don't use this as a practice, it was just something I stumbled upon the first time through Udayabaya Nyana and it started being "available" or my mind made the idea in Dissolution. I think That nyana actually opened some swiss cheese holes that allowed me to see that Shinzen Young's video on this same phenomenon was available to this practice and 4 or 5 times it has happened, leaving some micro pops of ultimate insight in its wake. It's a scary technique at first -- But the fear of overwealm is a bluff of the body, just as the fear of letting go into Jhanic Absorption or VOID itself. I do not think this would have been likely for my body had I not at least had a mastery of the 4 Rupa Jhanas at a non-absorbed to occationally popping into "gone". Metta. PS: I'm 44 and have dated many women growing up and have had lots of relationships and casual sex along the way. Even tried to try guys but didn't really ever get that far. Never found a guy I liked I guess. In any case, every women I have ever met masterbated, and the only ones who did not had severe repression/martyr/victim complexes. I have had those in my past, and they affected me sexually as well. There were times when I would gladly go down on a girl and perform oral sex, yet I was insecure about getting a blowjob. That's bad neurosis. Masterbation can actually increase sexual performance by facilitating one to become more sensitive to one's own needs with regard to the body and the mind/emotions which arise in dependance. What important, I humbly think, is that one is always honest about purpose in the present, as some smart guy up there said. If it's unconscious distraction, it's time wasting. Unless you decided that it would be a worthy purpose and there was no regret/shame upon completion. But then it would not be an unconsciousness since you would have noted "voilition" at the fore. When I was younger and the internet was nonexistant, nude pics and video were hard to get. They were real easter eggs. You had to search BBS's and really wait 1 hour to download some Samantha Fox picture if you were underage. It was a coming of age to discover all those things, but this supersonic binary age tends to rush and cheapen, so now even human communication has become tacky and totally contrived, like our cartoon political leaders. Take 5 --- Fap 'em if ya got em. (but by all means if you have seen some Truth that says for you "No Fap" == Nibbana/Or whatever you are after...then please PM me. May you all have at least the super-subtle post orgasm Equanimity and hopefully much much much more. In refuge to the Triple Gem.

Bliss is Showering on you Every Moment Mind can live in the future, but cannot live in the present. In the present, you can simply hope and desire. And that’s how you create misery. If you start living this very moment, here and now, misery disappears. But how is it related to the ego? Ego is the past accumulated. Whatsoever you have known, experienced, read, whatsoever has happened to you in the past, the whole is accumulated there. That whole past is the ego, it is you. The past can project into the future – the future is nothing but the past extended – but the past cannot face the present. The present is totally different, it has a quality of being here and now. The past is always dead, the present is life, the very source of all aliveness. The past cannot face the present so it moves into the future – but both are dead, both are nonexistential. The present is life; the future cannot encounter the present, nor can the past encounter the present. And your ego, your somebodiness, is your past. Unless you are empty you cannot be here, and unless you are here you cannot be alive. How can you know the bliss of life? Every moment it is showering on you and you are bypassing it. - From 'The Empty Boat' , Osho