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@Nahm Yes, I totally get what your talking from the first post on. I Will try to explain it from a different angle. You can't be aware of the soul because the soul is being awareness. Awarness is being downloaded into the essence of the soul, and then awarness is aware of Nahm. God-view is self. Life-view IS. Process is pure consciousness. Emotion is ineffable. You are being awareness. You are not only awareness, You are love, You are peace, You are joy... but You can't experience all of those things at the same time, that's why you separated yourself from source into beings, to experience different essences separetely, to better experience yourself. When love is downloaded into the essence of the soul, you experience an emotion of reverence. Nahm. God-view is loving. Life-view is benign. Process is revelation. You are being love. When piece is downloaded into the essence of the soul, you experience an emotion of bliss. God-view is All-being. Life-view is Perfect. Process is Illumination. You are being piece. When joy is downloaded into the essence of the soul, you experience an emotion of serenity. God-view is One. Life-view is complete. The process is transfiguration. You are being joy. @Real Eyes Apperances are an illusion.

It seems to me that there is no sure fireway to activate your kundalini permanently, to me it happened completely spontaneously (I had 0 clue about spirituality at the time, I just sat down in a meditation and it happened). Also what @Franz is describing seems like a "kundalini happening" not really awakening. Kundalini happening - 1 time thing, or even several times, isn't that bug of a deal, it's rather insinificant. Full blown kundalini activation is very apparent CONSTANT kundalini movement throughout the day, I thought it might be case in @Preetom's case since he said it happens many times a day. Only he can know for certain anywho. If you have a genuine desire for kundalini, research it and find a master who can give shaktipat. Jan essman does it over yt even. Shaktipath is energy transmission thats supposed to awaken kundalini in receiver. As far what kundalini is, the best way I would describe it is that kundalini is the animated consciousness within your body, that will heall the complete structure of your ego, once it awakens fully. It is shakti, the energy from creation, tht is one and the same with shiva. Once kundalini is awake, self-enquiry becomes a joke. Advaita is just funny words. All the former teachings are left in the dust, and what remains is love and bliss. Which is as well the practice that suits it the most. Love. (Love an devotion according to Jan Esman). Have you read the topic I mentioned here earlier?

Everybody that wants enlightenment is seduced by the idea of a life without problems, without suffering, absolute bliss, this sound perfect. But nobody thinks about the toll they have to pay. They want the beautifulness of enlightenment but conserving all atachments and samskaras, and that's impossible.

Yea. It is a path towards full embodiment of God-consciousness. Dont worry no damage, only healing. That being said, some people have a lot of issues with kundalini, as it busts through energetic blocks, that is why it is important to honour your body to the best of your ability. Do not force yourself into situations/habbits. As for the experience itself, sometimes it can get overwhelming, but oh the bliss when kundalini integrates and achieves completion (I only glimpsed that). It is totally worth any kind of trouble you go through. Another thing I can add only from my personal experience (meaning feel free to experiment yourself) is that eventhough psychadelics can give insights and accelerate your process, since it is generally kind of violent procedure for the body, it most likely will not speed-up the integration process. In some cases psychadelics can activate kundalini, but once active, your life is one giant trip lol.

I guess I have this deep rooted beliefs entanglement: people mean something, there is love, higher ideals of friendship, kinship, honesty, ethics, human goodness, righteousness, glory, heroism, devotion, humor, beauty, harmony, etc. And truth is we are meaningless, relatively complex robots with programmed by evolution Loss function on survival and thriving, everything about us is inconsequential. We get together as hives of drones to accomplish survival tasks and special mechanisms call it marriage, caring for children, family, etc. and give it false feeling of higher meaning. Highest hero journey is just a somewhat more elaborate search for a software upgrade on a human robot. The existence itself has no meaning, it has an automaton like nature, even that of an endless automaton. Awareness is just another aspect of the program, just like an ego. Any meaning, like life purpose, is only a mean of programming somewhat different Loss function into this human robot software receptacle input console. Regarding this authentic self as Leo puts it - it is another fairy tail, we are mechanisms, there is no such thing as self, there is no such thing as authenticity, there is no such thing as proverbial shit, only literal one. Under such reality, there is actually no other course of action rather than maximizing pleasure by whatever means available to each specific human robot, like learning to be if it really does give you pleasure. For most people I believe if they learned this, gradually becoming a meditator and residing in bliss is the only logical way of action in this world.

What is up fellow humans. My name is Adam and my favourite colour is purple You can scroll down to the SOOO if you just want to see my question, if not read the story. DO IT? and this is in no way spell checked. I just got back from a 10-day Vipassana retreat, which is my 3rd retreat this year, and wow, damn, crazy stuff. Being my 3rd retreat at the centre I knew how it worked, how my mindfullness would increase, all the subtle aspects of life becoming more vivid and delicious. Breathing, walking, EATING, showering, all precious indulgances. But I felt different about my intentions this time around. I wanted something different, something deeper. I didnt want no passing meditation high. I wanted the truth to smack me in the face and make me never forget. And i think i got it. The first 5-days where what I call "preperation". Just basic meditation, slowly increases the duration of the sessions. Finally when i reachd a 2 hour session ( Mindfull prostration, 1 hour walking meditation, 1 hour sitting meditation) shit hit the fan real fast. My teacher told me there are 3 ways to insight. They are also the 3 characteristics of life. Impermanence, no-self, and SUFFERING. An daamn did i suffer like a mofo. For 2 days i was locked in my tiny ass room meditatiing until 6 in the morning. Fun stuff, i basically went crazy. Imagine being tired, hungry, nauseous, worrying, wanting to kill yourself. ALL FORE THE SAKE OF THY INSIGHT . So finally the insight came, obvsiously not in a way that i thought it would, like coming down from the heavens on a golden platter in a spotlight held by Siddartha himself. No, just by taking the day off, meditating as much as i would like to, and crying my heart out at the love and bliss this universe has, how infinite it all is and how it is available for anyone, anytime, you just have to, have to?/*&P#:<QRL. It's that easy. Anyway, about thailand. Im 17, going into my last year of highschool and i really dont think im going to university any time soon. "WHAT, NO SCHOOL, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET A JOB. fuck off bob, let me meditate in peace." My teacher told me about his "school" in Thailand, he trained there to be a teacher for some years and recommended i go to get a taste of spiritualiy at its roots. This shit really interests me. like i couldnt go to sleep after hearing about it. My thoughts were "Fuck university, I'm going to Thailand". I'm not against uni, but theres nothing thats meaningfull there for me. My life is divided into 2 categories right now. Music and spiritaulity. My bro is in his 3rd year of music studying composition at UofT and he told me straight up, dont go if you want to become a musician, just love the music and it will love you back. best advice ever right. I went to a 2 week music camp this summer, it was based in a university and i was with professional musicians and ametuers like myself. I noticed that half of these guys were just robots tho, playing the music so systematically that it made me angry, they didnt appreciate what was in front of them. So fuck that, ill just busker, and jam, and record and release and travel until i die! And then theres spirituality. How can school honestly teach me spiritualy by giving me books and writing essays. Ill still be living my normal like, commuting, blallballa. Thailand seems like the only option for spirituality. I finally found a school in which i would like to dedicated serious time to. i dont want to get married but im foregoing all other paths for about 3 years to strictly surrender myself to Vipassana. SOOOOOO the question is. Should I take the first year off after highschool and go to Thailand to study Vipassana for 2-5 months? Many graces brethren.

i have been aware of nothingness while alseep after taking 5meo dmt. also a few times being aware of this nothingness continued when i woke up for maybe 10 seconds. its very hard to remember nothingness, its like trying to remember a dream you had months ago. the mind cant make sense of it words that come to mind to explain nothingness. bliss, infinity, energy, freedom. eternal.

@Joseph Maynor did you have any no self experiences? do you experience joy or bliss on a daily basis and do negative emotions affect you at all?

When you're trapped(identified) by thoughts (mental sounds, monkey mind) the breathing is faster and it's harder to remain conscious of it. It's easier to be conscious of a slow breath. When the breathing is slow, the body is relaxed, the parasymphatetic nervous system is activated, and more healing energy is received. This means a relaxed state is more conductive for being conscious. Let's say you came to the stage where you have no thoughts the whole day. If you have absolutely no thoughts the whole day and your breathing is pretty fast(slower than an active monkey mind, but still fast), than you can get lost in the projections of the mind pretty quickly, so it doesn't matter at all if you don't have any mental sounds present for long periods of time. Thoughts (mental sounds) are just surface phenomena... the mind can still operate in the teritory that is not directly perceivable. So being truly conscious is much deeper than just not having any thougths. The best indicator of consciousness that is directly accesible in the now moment is the speed of breathing. Rapid breathing leads to disease. Slow breathing leads to healing. When you embody higher states of consciousness, the slow breathing becomes a part of you. The body gets synchronized with devine bliss(that which you actually is). Now, realize you cannot rid yourself of the mind. So the only thing that makes sense is synchronizing your mind(you) which is inherently dualistic with You that doesn't know any duality. You can do this in many ways but the basic principle is that you disidentify with your mind. The less resistance is present the more you are synchronized. Okey, now let's say the mind projects a dualistic pattern onto the now moment that amplifies duality... after that the body starts to perceive that duality. How do you recognize that this pattern is not synchronized with devine bliss? You recognize that by the fact that You lose the connection with yourself. You fall in consciousness and you start to act non consciously. The breathing loses it's rhythm and you find yourself in a downward spiral if you allow that to continue. The mind is reprogramed by repetition. So let's say you consciouly recognize the out of sync pattern for the first time and use awarness to correct it. You did great. However that is only the realization. The mind Will not surrender to a greater Truth after "doing" this only once. The mind Will project this pattern for many times, depending on how much of that dualistic pattern you embodied in the past. This is only to test You. If you still didn't embody the slow breathing (most of you didn't), than use the slow breathing when you recognize a totally misaligned pattern to be able to switch the channel. When you slow your breathing down you get that ability to switch and use more of your awarness healing power to correct unwanted behavior. The mind is like a vampire. It sucks your life energy and Will keep doing that if you keep allowing it. When you follow the thoughts presented and the deeper projections than it's like inviting that vampire in your home. You prevent that by your CONSCIOUS slow breathing. This is like garlic that keeps away the vampire.

Here’s the thing: most people worry too much on the Divine Feminine, but what about the Divine Masculine? Here are some insights I got from an ayahuasca trip: - There is always something to complain about… >> HUGE TRAP! This is a classic way to run away from the present moment. There will always be something “not quite right.” This is Ego 1.1. For example, in the beginning of my trip I was heavily thinking about food. “DUDE! I NEED EAT NOW!!!! Or else… I won’t strength.” This is all bullshit. Think about the many excuses you come up in your daily life to justify not being present. Ín my case, my mind was in “complaining mode.” If it wasn’t for the food; it would be about something else. When I was able to let go completely, and forget myself in the present moment…. The magic happens. - Use your body I live in Brazil. A popular religion here is called Umbanda, which has African roots. I love there, because you can really be yourself. As Leo mentioned in a psychedelic video, you just don’t see how much more natural you can be in your body. This “european” style makes us too rigid. We got to loosen up…. Hahaha… How can you do this? > Weightlifting > Breathing exercises > Yoga There you go. These three practices are enough to get in touch with body once again. But it all starts with the breath. If you have a poor breathing, you will feel poor. Shallow breathing = Shallow life - Bear Boredom During the trip, I was practicing mantras. However, there were moments that nothing “special” was happening. But I did not shy away from those moments; I actually stayed present even when it was emotionally difficult. This is the true meaning of resilience. - Go Local I got this idea from when I was living in California. I live in a very large city, so sometimes I wanna go places that are so far away… However, there are so many great things that are happening in my neighborhood. I hate travelling long distances to take ayahuasca, so from now on, I am gonna focus on the place I have been going to, which is a close to my house. Even though the “local” business might have problems, it is just so much better than giving your money to those crazy corporations, which is very similar to the ego structure. It just wants, and wants, and wants…. Never good enough… Always more…. Never satifisfied… So, from now on, I will choose things that are near my house. The closer, the better. __________________ Overcoming shyness... I have been heavily working on developing self-confidence. As a consequence, I got lots of insights about this topic! - Forget everybody else and focus on your body This is for the people-pleasers: we generally focus too much externally. But the real thing is internal. Remember!!!!! Nothing is that personal. Just because someone caughed, this doesn’t mean that person doesn’t like you. Don’t help so much Sometimes I want to help others so much that I end up wasting my energy. So, from now on, I will help people, but on a very small doses. I hope I remember this. Be OKAY with mental discomfort Most people shy away from conflict. But conflict is what make things memorable. When you are emotionally involved in something, you are vulnerable. However, in those moments, you will be part of something. In other words, even if you’re shouting at your mom, this “fight” can make you feel alive once again. PARTICIPATE in the CRAZINESS of LIFE I love meditation and psychedelics. I love entering those deep states of peace. But what is the point of having all those “divine” experiences by myself? From now on, I committed to meditating LESS. I just don’t need that much of protection. As Ram Dass said: “WE DO NOT WANT TO BECOME MEDITATORS. WE WANT TO BECOME FREE.” Do not BREAK the flux A lot of shy people just get lost in his or her head. If you think of something, go and actually do it. IF you can’t at the moment, IT IS OKAY!!! Just don't get fixated. Just forget about it. Oftentimes I want to do something “courageous”, but then I resist naturally becuase it is too much out of comfort zone. Then… I start ruminating. Cut that shit out! Become present again. Start slowly I am also working hard on dating and sexuality, and let me tell you: START SLOW! When you start to open yourself up, you will want to have sex crazily. Like you want to make up for the lost time. As Leo said in a video, “Neediness repels people.” I have made the mistakes taking things too quickly. I almost got into fights because of that. One time I asked a friend of my friend about his relationships with drugs. And… man… he started to get aggressive. “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME, DUDE!” But anyway, you need to lose the caliber sometimes. Maybe you need some rejection, some criticism. IT IS FUCKING HARD, but it is WAAAAAY better living your life with contamined energy in your body. _____ !!!Come back!!!!! Planet Earth is Calling!!! When I get into high stages your consciousness, I want to stay there forever and ever. But life is calling you. EARTH is calling. This is why I wrote Awakening the Divine Masculine. What lacks in our society is not necessarily the feminine energy, but a HEALTHY MASCULINE energy. “Oh… I want to maitain my high vibes, so instead of interacting with people, creating material; I will sit alone in my room for as long as I want.” >>>> HUGE TRAP!!!!!! WHen you release your energy onto the world, you receive tenfold. CREATING ABUNDANCE - MAKE MORE COMMITMENTS Leo said in a video to do less shit. The advice for me is the opposite: do more shit. I have an extremely hard time being unproductive. So I am proactively allowing myself to have ZERO practices. Just be… DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM RESPONSIBILITIES It is actually a joy to become an Adult (the capitalized “a” is intentional). Many cultures do not prepare children to be independent adults, but co-dependend half-child half-adult. It is really twisted. A matured adult loves responsibilities, because he or she can CARRY it. We are strong enough. So, projects out of your comfort zone (e.g., performing on a play for needy children) can help you stay centered in your life because there is a higher vision in your life. You can say to yourself: “It’s okay if I am not feeling good at this particular place because there is a lot going on in my life. ABUNDANCE = DO SMALL AMOUNTS OF MANY THINGS I work, I practiced yoga, meditation, weighlifting etc… But I do all of them in small amounts. I do not place all my bills on just one thing, but on A LOT of things. We can really get lost if we focus on just one thing. My point is, “seriously, why do FIXATED on getting approval?” Other examples include dating, money, and academics. It is okay if you are not doing very well in a particular area of your life. But, PLEASE, DO NOT START 20 different HABITS. "That ain't gonna work." Newbies often do this mistake over and over again... too many commitments... That's how you create new habits You do them, and then you forget about improving anything for the rest of the day. You let go... Trust... Your subconscious is the one responsible for the big changes in your life. You know one habit that could change your life completely in a matter of months? Daily cold shower first thing in the day. And bam! The rest of the day you will not focus on anything. SET PROPER LIMITS This has to do with the divine masculine. Establishing energetic limits. Gandhi once said, “I do not allow people to place their dirty feet on my clean mind.” As you spiritually purify yourself, people will start come up with even more projections. The trick is: CUT THAT SHIT! Learn how to defend yourself. “Oh you are too selfish.” > fuck that! "Oh... you are being ruthless" > screw it "Oh... you are not kind anymore" whatever... You probably care too much about others. This is a dysfunction and has to stop. It is extremely healthy to be criticized. Bear it with fierceness. Your little ego hates that. But it needs that. It needs to get desensitized! MAKE A COMMITMENT TO DROPPING THE ROLE OF "NICE GUY". Expect people to criticize and not like you. When you start against the grain, and doing things that your mind is resisting, then this is the beginning of your Liberation. As Leo said in a video, "even your ways to be authentic are very inauthentic." Authenticity is freedom! The thing is I sometimes feel guilty to be direct to people. But this is fake kindness. It is much better to practice some old-fashioned masculine compassion, and BAM! The problem is not gone. Did you have an enlightenement experience? No, and I don’t even want to. Life is calling me. My LIFE PURPOSE has been presented in an ayahuasca trip two months ago, and NOW I know that enlightenement will happen anyways when I die, so I want to LIVE this life. Work my ass off you know? But obviously with consciousness. ALl this idea of enlightenement seems very obvious. I really don’t need that. I need more basic self-development. That is, lots of affirmations, visualizations, and meditation. I don’t need an extraordinary experience of unity. I am already it. Whether I want it or not, I am heaven’s highest divine, as Matt Kahn says. So why looking so muuuuch? You are already enough. (a.k.a. you do not need other people to be happy) We always something else to make our experience “better.” But the trick is to train yourself to be your own entertainer. You don’t need external circumstaces to dictate how you feel. Yes, I am being serious here. The world can be collapsing before your eyes, but you are as intact as a rock. Vipassana = Best meditation technique ever Hehe, I am generic here. WEll, to me is the best one. Vipassana basically is body scan. You do not cling to any “pleasant” sensation; nor do you get aversed due to uncomfortable feelings. In Vipassana, we train ourselves to be good scientists. We analyze our bodies. And this technique is a lifestyle really. For example, if you got a noisy baby, you can recognize that feeling of anger, or whatever you are feeling; BUT YOU DO NOT PLACE ANY SPECIAL ATTENTION ON ANYTHING. You keep analyzing the rest of the body. That’s it. Analyzing… Seeing… Scientific LENSES. No perosnal belifes, just the merely act of seeing as it is you already summoning awareness to the physical problem or mental problem, and that’s it all you really need. Seeing as things are. I LOVE BEING A NERD For some reason, I repressed “nerd” side. But this is actually so fucking good! You want to gain more knowledge about everything. There were others before you. Being a nerd is having a deep desire to know more things. To learn. To understand. Ignorance is not a bliss, but the source of all suffering. WORK = Pleasure Seriously, the only way to get real pleasure in life is through work. And by work, I mean anything. It can be cleaning your house, meditating, or really anything. However, it is better when it is something that you actually use your body. We need that. We have had enough of theories upon theories, Now let’s start LIVING! Do NOT hold insights so tightly Here is the greatest insight: be present. Haha. I know, the ego hates this idea. Why? Because the ego thrives on the past or on the future. If you are absolutely present, there is no ego. You become like a river. Chances are, you inner river is very polluted. But there is always hope haha. You gotta start cleaning that shit. Move, shake, connect. I am making sure I am writing down all the insights I got, but it is okay if I lose one. MANTRAS = EXTREMELY POWERFUL WAY TO SHUT DOWN THE MIND Mantras can guide you. In the beginning, it is boring (like everything healthy), but after a while you will see how your mind silents. Let things marinate I just got out of the trip, and the thing is: I want to feel like healthy young dude. It is incredible how attractive I am seeing myself. And this is pure. It’s not ego stuff. I am actually doing things in this world. And that makes me feel so good about myself. Love, you know? So… I am learning how to make stategic pauses between my daily self-development practices so that I can be raw, as I mentioned here it again. Apologize Less I have discovered that most of the times I say “I am sorry” to others, I -- as an ego -- am actually craving for the other person’s approval. If you feel like saying sorry, ok, but let go seriously. Things aren’t so seriously as you make them to be. So keep the flow. Mistakes do not define you, and trust me: people are so busy in their daily lives that they forget what you did to them. And let’s get straight here: we have a very short live here on Earth. It looks long, but actually it is just a matter of perspective. Life is like a blow… An inhale and an exhale. So, forget the past, and start living the present fucking moment. I don’t mean 5 minutes ago. I mean NOW. See? The Now is not possible to grasp. You gotta live it. Mental masturbation is endless Life is filled with problems. We came here to EVOLVE, to DEVELOP ourselves. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. Do you have high tolerance from discomfort feelings? Or do you shy away from them and try to fabricate a “positive” experience. Right now, I am giving you permission to drop your positivity bullshit that you listened in the past. The thing is, the real problem with negative self-talk is when it becomes an obsessive thought pattern. You ruminate it. You keep repeating to yourself something so many times that you forget that you are Human being. We are awesome, dude! We conquered the world. We do not even have physical advantages (expect for our beautiful thumb, which gives us great advantages). But somehow… we made it. How? Using our brain. Train your brain. It will be discomfortable, but it is fucking worth it. Let me tell you: if your meditation sessions are very cozy, cut that shit out. It is supposed to be uncomfortable. And when there is no other way but to be strong, You begin your true Brilliance, and unlimited STRENGTH and Energy. Remember your basic needs!!! I am in state of such deep energy that I forget to eat, simply because I know that I don’t really feel hungry. So… I keep not eating. HOWEVER, this is very detrimental to my mental and physical health in the long term. So I have decided to allow myself to eat more than usual, since I am in a moment that I am getting kind of bored of food, but it is necessary. If I fuck up my basic needs, all my “higher consciousness” desires will go to the thrash. I deserve, and you also deserve, to be attractive and have a decent-looking body, and also have good communication skills. Seriously… you deserve that. You deserve to have enough strength to challenge and face the world HEAD ON. Be brief and dynamic If you want to get a lot of audience, keep things short. If you want to get a specific, niche audience, allow yourself to take long. Most of us want the prize right away. However, it takes time to have amazing insights. That’s the thing I about it. For example, I have not seen the two episodes about absolute infinity because “they’re too fucking long.” That was my excuse. I am likely missing a lot of good stuff, but at the same time I refuse to “force myself” to watch something. Trust me: the right moment always comes. THINKING A LOT? Drop that shit you're thinking about it. Not important... You can never lose It You are It. Whether you are dreaming or whether you are Awake, you are an angel. As I was on the bus on my home, I was noticing how my body was contracting. I was being pulled into lower-consciousness physical posture. People have terrible postures. However, you can use this as counter-examples. Remember the video “How to Exploit People” You are only feeling extremely bad because you living in forgetfulness, as Thich Nhat Hahn puts it. You are suffering because you are recreating the suffering of your past. Cut that shit. Haha. You see? This is the masculine. Cutting shit out. No more weeds... Time to WORK! Time to BUILD like a fucking ANT! Be an example of dedication and conscious work. Work hard but in relaxed matter. I think those are the main insights. Mainly, I am focusing now on expanding my comfort zone. And really develop my own inner voice. What do you I really want? Do I agree with what this “authority” said, or am I just following it blindly? Where is my authentic voice? Am I able to voice my needs more frequently?

I've had glimpses before. But they were mostly like five seconds at most. This was the real deal. This Saturday evening I decided to go to the beach by train (which is like one stop away from me), smoke a joint, take a walk and do some inquiry, or even just to relax a bit. Whatever, I had nothing big planned at all. I do this almost every other week but this time things were different. What I noticed is that an unusual amount of fear surfaced. It was a warm day so there were still lots of people around which triggered some fears in me. It felt like everyone was looking at me, judging me... You know the usual, which I thought I had resolved already. Not at all. It became so intense and my ego started fighting it more and more. I had not expected this so after awhile I decided to turn around to return to my train and get home. By this time the fears had grown into thoughts of going insane, of fainting, of losing control. So I started to walk faster and faster until I reached my train. I sat down, totally panicked, but I'm pretty good with keeping these things to myself so I don't think anyone could really notice. Maybe because I was sitting comfortably that I was able to face these fears now. But I looked at these feelings and found out what they were. It occurred to me that they were like waterbubbles trying to pull you away from the water. I don't know why this is the analogy I went with, but that's exactly what it felt like. Remember I smoked a joint, so things got very conceptual. Anyways, fears kept rising up but I wasn't really afraid of them anymore. I saw that they were made of this same 'water.' Which made it all very clear to me. And then it happened. The last thought I remember that arose before it happened was 'I AM ALL OF IT!' Boom, awakening... I don't know why it happened at this moment. But it just happened. I saw reality. And it felt like I've seen it a million times before. It was there for all of my life. I saw a train moving and there were some people in it. I was in it. Sounds were literally just sounds. Utterly complex sounds but just sounds nonetheless. It was so serene and empty. Words aren't able to describe it but it's literally just 'life happening'. That's the reason why it's so familiar. Cause that's what it has always done. It's also a lot more 'normal' than I had imagined it to be. Then for a moment, thought would interfere and I got scared shitless. I decided to return to the egoic state... Which is pretty insane to think about. I literally created a new fear so I had something to hold on to. But no, this awakening had to happen today. And so it returned. And this is when the awakening became permanent. At least for the next seven hours. My train had reached it's destination and I got out. Huge smile on my face. No thought. Just walking. Walking towards my home. (I live very close to the trainstation.) Then thought returned, going completely bonkers about the amazing thing 'it's' experiencing, but this time they were no longer mine. I witnessed them. Even the identification I still had with thought, was witnessed. So it was all good. And the first thing I noticed, is whatever thought arose, a feeling came with it. And this feeling INSTANTLY healed as I looked at it. And this was the great miracle. Everything I witnessed, healed. Now I'm not sure if this includes the external world (as it all felt as one), but at least all feelings, all thought, all ego was healed if only I would take the time to simply look at them. Awareness truly is curative! In the most literal sense. It made me really understand why Awareness is referred to as God. Back home, I started to investigate what was happening. The recurring thoughts were; 'It was already so. It was already so. My god, it was already so.' I started to write in my journal. All very short sentences, kind of like riddles. It's in dutch, but I might translate it one day and share it with you because some beautiful words were written, if I say so myself. One of the biggest insights I had was finally understanding the 'hidden in plain sight' part of spirituality. And when I did, I laughed out loud. It basically comes down to the following question: Do you see reality? Yes Well, that's it. Reality is it. Everyone would answer yes to this question right? That 'yes', is enlightenment. Because it has always been yes. Awakening is merely realising that. Really, read that again. It's so simple and dumb yet it points to the ultimate truth. It's just an oversight. The seeing of reality, is the thing you are looking for. But you were already doing that! Of course you are. From the awakened point of view it's all so damn simple. You just witness reality. No further questions. And then you realise, that even though there's nothing there. There is life. OH MY GOD, THERE IS LIFE. Do you see why it's such a miracle? There shouldn't be life, because there's nothing there. Yet there is life all the same. Haha, it's so hard to explain this. But I completely lost it, when I realised that. And then at one point, ego panicked. And this was a profound moment. Because I was no longer identified with it. So it wasn't me that was panicking. If someone would have walked in at that moment they would've thought I was depressed or gone insane. And 'I' was. But behind it all, there was laughter and peace. Ego was thinking 'I want to go back,' 'what would my friends think of me like this,' 'what if this is forever? 'I'll never be able to function properly again.' And so on, and so on. It was just patterns playing itself out. And as said, every thought came with a feeling that was being felt completely and therefor it healed. After a couple of hours, more and more the thought; 'Do I still have it?' came up. It was quite the paradox since from Awareness' point of view, there is nothing to lose. So the funny thing was, I was completely convinced this would never leave me again. I was enlightened. And then sleep came. And I wasn't. It was ego waking up Identified as it's little self again. Which is fine. This entire experience was a complete shift in paradigm all the same. I don't feel different at all. But now I know. Now I know there's nothing to search for. It is already so. Even now that I'm identified with the separate self again, there is this knowing. A trust. Trust that whatever arises, is seen by 'that'. Even now. The next couple of days, there was a lot of energy released in my body. It was everything that was looked at during the awakening. It was that powerful. Kundalini I guess? I don't know a lot about that, so I'm mostly guessing. Doesn't really matter too much anyway. Looking back at this, there were a couple of things that really stood out to me. First of all. No bliss. Not at all. Absolute peace, yes. But no bliss. And the funny thing is, back then, I couldn't care less. When I say peace. It doesn't mean peace in the positive sense of the word. It just means nothingness, emptiness. From ego's point of view, it's quite a 'cold' peace. That's why ego doesn't really like it. It's so empty, it has no qualities. The other thing that stood out was how much of a role ego still plays even when realised. That really took me by surprise, I always had this idea of a full awakening from ego. Which you do, but at the same time, it doesn't mean it disappears even in the slightest. Even addictions were still there. I guess that's the reason it didn't stay permanently. There is just too much of a pull from ego. I didn't care at the moment, but after seven hours or so, it succeeded. (Or so, it thinks ) So, yeah. I guess that's a real lesson for anyone here. Be prepared for that! I wasn't. You don't want this. It's the only reason you don't have it. You don't really want it. That's a hard pill to swallow. But it's true. It's worth it all the same though. My god, the fear! There's so much fear! It really showed me how much work there is still to be done. The good news though, I now know awareness heals. Not by believing it. But by having witnessed it myself. This is the shift. It's like this awakening has showed me the disease and the cure simultaneously. Really profound. Isn't it amazing that my first proper awakening happened in a train that dropped me off at the 'next' stop. And that next stop turned out to be home. I try not to attach too much value onto symbolism like that, but man... It's beautiful, isn't it? Thanks for reading this. English isn't my first language so I hope it's easy to read! I wasn't planning to share this, but here we are. So much words, and I'm not even a talker. An introvert even. Go figure. Feels like I can talk about this forever!

@Ilya Thanks for your response. I just heard a really good quote that reminded me of my problem of thoughts here. It was: "the mind is a great servant, but a terrible master". That kind of told me that I can use my thoughts as tools but I need to develop the master to use them correctly. I was very into the Triforce Academy for awhile but I have a really hard time agreeing with some of Bentinho's theories. In his "Intro course: lesson 5 - what is consciousness?" he explains that there was infinite infinity of nothingness and then out of wanting to know, taste and experience itself in form there was an explosion (the big bang) of bliss love, a love/presence/energy. I am paraphrasing him of course but I just have such a hard time accepting that concept. He also believes in Free Will which is something I disagree with as well. I am trying to stay open minded about everything but I am having a hard time getting past his theory of nothingness wanting to know itself. I really want to work through this though because as you said it looks like a wonderfully well laid out course. Do you have any thoughts on his explanation of consciousness?

I just meditated for an hour, instant bliss :3

@Ilya Pleasure my friend :-) May you be triggered beyond your structures so it starts an endless expansion into the existence of bliss and harmony :-)

@ajasatya A calm state of mind is a stage of healing, it is a neccesary step to progress on the spiritual path. The mind creates conflict because it is dualistic. When one is identified with ego (and at the start of the spiritual journey everybody is) the body is reacting to those thoughts and that creates emotions, and bad emotions make your body tense. This tension gets stuck in the physical body. When one is tense for a lot of time without releasing this tension, this tension spirals out of control. To prevent this, one has to realize this calm state of mind. If one doesn't realize this state he cannot prevent this and tension starts to build, build and build to the point of disease. The lower the brainwaves the more healing power channels into the body. If you don't experience any lower brainwaves for a few days, you would be dead. So with EEG one can start to better recognize his brain waves and that helps one to get into healing mode when that's needed. Recognizing patterns is important, that's basicly what spiral Dynamics stage torquoise is about. I still think it's better to think of this as stages of progression. One can never free oneself from a state of mind without experiencing it first. Calmness is healing. Parasympathetic nervous system is activated. The breath is slower, and when you get really deep, it's like you need very little air to function, the breath is slow automatically. The overactive sympathetic nervous system causes stress and 90% of doctor visits. Stress is the main cause of disease and the main cause of death. The sympathetic nervous system is active when brainwaves are high and the Parasympathetic is active when there are more lower brainwaves. When tension is present in the body, one cannot shift between brainwaves effectively. So it's neccesarry to first realese all this tension, go trough the side effects of meditation (the purging process) and than once that is done, one can easily shift between states without getting attached and do the thing that you said - to liberate oneself from any state of mind. But then again one can become attached to a state of mind that is not attached to any state of mind and there is too much fluctuation. There is no more calmness. So... it's really all about alignment and synchronization. So you stay synchronized with that which is. The synchronization of the aura with the "state" of bliss, that which you actually is. That's also I think why it's better to think of one as existing and not existing at the same time. There is a fluctuation between matter and anti-matter, you are a particle but also a wave. If you think that you don't exist and get attached to this than synchronization falls away and your selling yourself so short you can't even imagine really. Yes you can be enlightened and not synchronized, But when your enlightened and not synchronized with that which is, your experiencing far far far far far far less bliss than from being enlightened and synchronized. This requeries embracing a greater paradox and also leads to experiencing more of what one is. The perfect alignment is when you can maintain 13Hz in your brain as far as my research goes. @TJ Reeves I looked it up and muse actually has a rating of 4.1/5 based on 538 reviews and I think that's pretty good. I don't think you Will ever get a 5/5 review based on 538 reviews for a tool that can help you. What do you think about the data that muse provided you with? Have you gained anything from using that device after you stopped using it? I have written something about this calmness above, I think that also applyies to what your Zen master said (I have not read his article yet). I don't know if you really need an EEG that costs a few thousands to get accurate data. The more expensive the EEG the more precise the data Will be but that doesn't mean you cannot get beneficial data from the cheaper one.

To anyone doing research for their life purpose, mastering a skill set for their life purpose, or finally making strides to finish a project for their life purpose, please understand one thing: Embrace Not Knowing. If there were any one idea that's important to understand about nailing your life purpose, it would be this one. Your level of success in any career field is directly tied to how well you can tolerate Not Knowing: If you will get paid If your idea is actually that good or you're just a crazy person Where you might have to go next in your career path Whether your career's assumptions are accurate Not Knowing is the well-spring - the ground - the source for creativity and insight. Creativity starts with a question, with uncertainty, not with a cut-and-dried answer. You cannot ever have True Knowing without having Not Knowing precede it or, perhaps, be it. Yep, I said it: True Knowing might just be Not Knowing. What you don’t know is what you don’t know. And it's not like pretending to not know changes the fact that you don’t know: It just means that you've deluded yourself into thinking you know, when indeed you don't. But herein lies the rub: You fucking hate sitting Truly Knowing Not Knowing. That’s why you buy the courses and the books and the videos and the seminars and the training courses that you waste so much time on. That’s why you distract yourself from what's right in front of you. That’s why you read my articles, Leo's articles, and any other idiot on this forum's articles. You just need something - the thing. It's in your genes. If your ancestors wondered for too long whether that noise near the bushes was a predator or not, you wouldn't be here right now. Our brains are geared to make fast assumptions, and questioning them in many cases quite literally equates to death. No wonder we're so hardwired for confirmation bias. No wonder we need quick fixes. ---- I started watching Actualized.org Videos during my senior year of college. My success up to that point had nothing to do with my happiness and I was adamant that the same would be true in the future.This was pretty distressing to realize at the time. It meant that I didn’t know what lay ahead of me. Mainly, it told to me that my dream of becoming a doctor had nothing to do with happiness. My whole life up to that point was about becoming a doctor – what the hell would I do? I purchased the life purpose course, meditated, and came up with some pretty cool visions for the future. Here’s what I came up with: I could use my background in neuroscience to help create a technology that would link consciousnesss together. My vision included a search for what part of the brain created consciousness as well as technologies that would allow people to turn their brain into holodecks. Basically, I wanted to turn astral projection into a technological science that went beyond psychedelics or VR and went to mainstream society. My heroes at the time included people (read: chimps) like Elon Musk, Walt Disney, Tony Stark, and Barack Obama, amongst others. Almost everyone Leo listed off as someone not to follow, I followed. If you want to see my vision board, here you go: The Enlightened Warrior Sage of Bliss.pdf @Leo Gura advised me that though I was onto the right path, I would be wise not to put the cart ahead of the horse. So, with his perspective, I went back into the Hallowed Grounds of Not Knowing. Specifically, I had to understand what consciousness was before I even began raising it, especially with dangerous A.I. tech. This meant researching a ton of weird areas that I would previously have never even begun to consider. If my militant-atheist, fundamental-rationalist sophomore or junior-year version of myself had heard of me these areas, he would have laughed before crying. I’m talking about things like: o Lucid dreaming o Astral Projection o Psychedelics o The Nature of Reincarnation o Witchcraft o The No Self o Chakras o Kundalini o Shamanic Traditions o And *gasp* books arguing against the logic of science amongst other things In Leo's video about the paranormal, he talks about the scientist who goes off to a cave, only to return with a truth he can't describe. Well, I am that scientist. How do I explain to scientific advisors that we can't link consciousness together because it's already linked together right now as it is? How do I explain that I can't create A.I. consciousness because the A.I. would already be made out of consciousness? How do I explain that entire fields of science are straight up looking in thanks wrong direction? But here’s the thing: the ability to rest in Not Knowing while doing research has paid off greatly. There’s a ton of stuff that I’ve recognized just in the past year that has saved me literally lifetimes of seeking. Amongst others: o Perhaps I don’t need to be anything or anyone special o Perhaps I don’t need to become rich and famous to be worthy o Perhaps I don’t need to one-up my ex-girlfriend to get back at her – the goal that originally launched me into self-help material o Perhaps I don’t need some big fancy life purpose that saves the whole world immediately. Perhaps its often the people who do that who mess up the world because of their narrow-minded unawareness. o Perhaps the Tao Te Ching is right in saying that the actions taken with the least damage are the wisest o Perhaps what the world needs is to specifically not need to do or be anything other than what they are, as-is, and if we did that, everyone would be better off naturally. I’m not talking about me using that as an excuse to sit around doing nothing: I’m saying that 1) we all need to get out of our own way with our egos to 2) help others have enough and then 3) be able to sit around happily now that we’ve all as a species had enough. o Perhaps That’s’ the only actual need anyone has: the need to have the ability to simply Be themselves happily. o Perhaps You don't have to do anything to meet that primary need other than remove your own conditions for happiness o Perhaps It’s just an assumption that consciousness is created by the brain. o Perhaps it’s the other way around than from what I was taught at the world’s #1 medical university. o Perhaps its consciousness that creates the brain. o Perhaps there’s no need to chase around the holy grail of a “neural correlate of consciousness” like the thousands of other neuroscientists and neurosurgeons who’ve gotten nowhere. o Perhaps the answer is right under the scientists nose and their culture and dogmatism prevents them from seeing it, not the data. o Perhaps I don’t need to subject myself to some of the bullshit faced by academia to get ideas out there o Yet perhaps no matter what path I choose, it’ll be filled with trial and tribulation unless I choose to see things otherwise. --- Do you get that each one of those realizations is worth a lifetime of understanding? I’m not exaggerating whatsoever. Just the first two bullet points explain how the entire Los Angeles Culture came about. The third is enough to get past 5 years of therapy. And the 4th would have saved Elon Musk 50 years of effort. And so on and so on. And those aren’t even all the insights I’ve had! There are at least 250 pages worth of insights scribbled in my journals. All – ALL – because of my ability to Rest in Not Knowing ---- After purging myself of some of my original pursuits, sense of self, and attachments, what's left? I’m still left with my strengths: 1. Wisdom/Opennness/Judgment 2. Social Intelligence 3. Love of Learning 4. Creativity 5. Zest/Enthusiasm/Optimism 6. Humor 7. Bravery I’m also left with the same tangible skill set as ever: o The ability to recall information from +250 books on psychology, history, science, medicine, religion, philosophy, metaphysics, and science fiction o The ability to research the shit out of anything using the internet, books, and good old contemplation o The ability to gain a wide, nonjudgmental perspective during conversation and brainstorms o Making unforeseen connections between seemingly unrelated areas of interest o Digesting hard concepts into smaller, simpler ones o The balls and enthusiasm to share my ideas while still listening to others I also got my MCAT scores back. After 550 hours of study, I killed it. Especially when it comes to psychology – I got a perfect score in that section! So here's the final question: What are my plans now? Fool, did you not read anything I wrote? I DO NOT FUCKING KNOW AND THAT’S PERFECTLY AS IT SHOULD BE. (More seriously, I am considering pursuing clinical neuropsychology. Specifically, there’s a chance that I take the energy I would have used on finding a neural correlate of consciousness and use it to figure out the neural correlates of Enlightenment. There seems to be an open niche regarding 5-meo-dmt in research and if I hop in now, I could position myself as the #1 person in the world on the topic of the Science of Enlightenment using 5-meo. See, Martin Ball didn't have Martin Ball to help show Martin Ball the ropes. But I do. I also see the possibility of creating psychedelic integration programs with biofeedback, journaling and zen noting techniques thrown in for the phase in between doses. But until then…) Goodbye Neurosurgery Goodbye Becoming the next Musk Goodbye One-upping my genius ex-girlfriend Hello Unconditional Happiness Hello Darkness, My old friend and Hello Not Knowing, let's see what we come up with today.

Funny how Mind works. I just had an epiphany. For a while my mind has wondered why it's feeling such disturbance and unease, even though I've been pursuing enlightenment for nearly 2 years now. "Hey sam, don't you think some amount of consistant bliss would be pouring in by now, since you do know that all beliefs are bullshit, and that life is absolute infinity." You sly fox. I hadn't really fully acknowledged it, but learning enlightenment and consciousness work brings its own sneaky beliefs along with it. Just because the work is about stripping away beliefs, concepts and assumptions does not by any means mean it does not contain its fair share of beliefs. I actually realized this for myself after experiencing a great plateu in this work. "Why am I stuck?! "Why am I not getting MY tranquil experiences?!" You little trickster... What a sneaky mess you have made...

Salvation in depression (poem attempt) There's a great bliss to the action of sitting with the overwhelming voices of a mind hit by depression. When it hits and everything goes fuzzy, there's no words for what is the real problem but "FUCK OFF!"; That's when you sit; that's when you watch: The twirls and the swoops, The zooms and booms, they're there to bring you bliss; It's a firework show in your mind That only hurts when you resist. Understandably the energy is overwhelming, And can be described as anything but calming. But there's a place behind its shout, That it feels it's pulled you out.. A place of calm, That can't be harmed. Eternal bliss; stillness. It's empty of voice, or anything loud...or anything at all Yet everything's there. From here is where you sit - you've got a front row seat, To the fireworks of fear, That admittedly can give a kind of scary heat. Remember this show is just for you, You've got a wild mind on fire! No one else gets this spectacular view, A head filled with dragons, explosions, magic and pirates. I understand from your point of view, You feel like a pussy, oh yes you do, But look from a place a little higher, And you'll realise Hun, That you're a fucking tiger! So sit with it, be with it, It's truly a sight of wonder. Don't run from it, don't fight with it, It's only a little thunder. An opportunity into God's heavenly cribb; In the jacuzzi of joy you can't miss a cheeky dip, Although if I'm truly honest I will admit, That sometimes depression does feel a little shit.

my experience of benefits: increase in energy, increased focus and concentration, increased bliss, sense of connection, reduced feelings of discontent, relaxation in the body, more joyous creativity should be practiced with wisdom, caution and guidance

I found two great songs by a little-known musician named Stuart Davis. One of them is featured in the Audiobook Kosmic Consciousness with Ken Wilber, which I will put a review of later. Ladder The first song is called "Ladder." It's a lovely song about our personal and species-wide evolution and the natural clash with psychological entropy. That is, as we grow more complex as individuals and as a species, we also have more stuff that can topple us. I've got brains like antique floors I built each one on the one before I use all three but they don't agree One of them wants to love you Another one would love to club you I guess my old natures move like glaciers Chorus: The fish became a lizard The shrew became an ape Will the ape become an angel? The higher that we climb The more the ladder sways I'm the bastard child the one who got the head of Einstein and the soul of Pol Pot there's no compassion but I can split the atom Better give me a microscope for a different eye Better give me a telescope for the inward sky and a ladder leading up from Eden Chorus If Ramana Maharshi came from clay there's more to evolution than a little DNA Cut off the moorings to the inward ark Aiming it into a question mark The fish became a lizard The shrew became an ape will the ape become a Mother Teresa? She came from clay There's more to evolution than a little DNA Personal Commentary: Ladder bases itself off of the integral idea of Holarchy. Holarchies are made out of Holons. A holon refers to the something being both a whole and a part with no actual distinction between itself and other whole/parts other than arbitrary measures. Each holon is a system (or phenomenon) that is an evolving self-organizing dissipative structure, composed of other holons, whose structures exist at a balance point between chaos and order. Higher level holons are always at a more precarious position than lower level holons. This goes for physical objects, ecological systems, psychological stages, social organizations, and even spiritual development. With reference to holarchical human development, Alan Watts serves to help us see the issue: "how is man to be best related to his environment? Especially in circumstances where we are in possession of an extremely powerful technology and have, therefore, the capacity to change our environment far more than anyone else has ever been able to do so. Are we going to end up not by civilizing the world, but by Los-Angelizing it? In other words, are we going to foul our own nest as a result of technology? But all this gets down to—the basic question is, really, what are you going to do if you’re god? If, in other words, you find yourself in charge of the world, through technological powers, and instead of leaving evolution to what we used to call, in the 19th century, the blind processes of nature—that was begging the question, to call them blind—but at any rate, we say, we’re not going to leave evolution to the blind forces of nature but now we’re going to direct it ourselves. Because we are increasingly developing, say, control over genetic systems, control over the nervous system, control over all kinds of systems; uh then, simply, what do you want to do with it?" This song responds to Watts inquiry by pointing out that Perhaps there is a universal Telos. That there is a point to all of this and the despite the hemming and hawing and guffawing that we know as human violence and suffering, it works out in the end such that we become the gods that oversee us. We made a universe that is perfect for ourselves, despite seeming otherwise. Creating Heaven is Heaven. Watts echoes this sentiment at the end of his own lecture. What is your idea of heaven? What would you really like to have happen, if you could make it happen? That’s the first thing that really starts people thinking because you soon realize that a lot of the things you think you would want are not things you want at all. Supposing, just for the sake of illustration, that you had the power to dream every night any dream you wanted to dream. And you could, of course, arrange for one night of dreams to be seventy-five years of objective time, or any number of years of subjective time, what would you do? Well, of course, you’d start out by fulfilling every wish. You would have routs and orgies and uh uh all the most magnificent food and uh sexual partners and everything you could possibly imagine in that direction. When you got tired of that, after several nights, you’d switch a bit, and find yourself involved in adventures, and uh contemplating great works of art, fantastic mathematical conceptions; you would soon be rescuing princesses from dragons, and all sorts of things like that. And then one night you’d say, now look, Tonight what we’re gonna do is, we’re going to forget this dream is a dream. And we’re going to be really uh shocked, and when you woke up from that one you’d say, ‘Oooh, wasn’t that an adventure!’ ----- Nothing In Between The second song is called Nothing in Between. It is a wonderful tome about Nothingness, aka God. There is nothing in between us when we sleep Every night the bliss begins to leak Nothing in between us when we laugh it’s something that our head will never grasp It’s seen in between There’s nothing in between your joy and mine It’s all a lot of nectar on the vine Joy is how my parents were entwined and there’s nothing in between their lives and mine We’ve seen There’s nowhere to hide in the open Reality Love is so wide, there isn’t a boundary There is only one eye without any enemy when you’ve seen in between There’s nothing in between our skin and light Nothing in between the wind and kite Nothing in between our lips and grace Nothing in between the tongue and taste It’s seen (Refrain) There is nothing in between you and I Nothing in between blue and sky Nothing in between us and love Nothing in between wings and doves (Refrain) There is nothing in between Personal Commentary: This song struck me as a great way of pointing to non-distinction. This morning as I meditated using Headspace, I was instructed to feel that the center of creativity deep in my heart. I was then asked to extend my awareness of that center past my chest and to my whole skin. From there I was asked to expand this awareness to the walls around me. From there I extended it to my whole apartment complex... The City of LA... Earth... The Solar System... The Galaxy... The Virgo Cluster... The Laniakea SuperCluster... The whole Observable Universe that seems to form a universal Brain/mind complex... Then I pushed further - I asked what would be beyond that -- where is that universal brain? And I kept pushing outwards to see the next order of fractalization... and what came up was me! That is, I saw that cosmic brain complex residing in my own head or another version of me or maybe an alien or maybe some computer who itself resides in some version of the city of LA which is itself on some version of earth... And so on for all of eternity outwards. And so on for all of eternity inwards as well! Which is to say, I can't describe it as One because it has no end or beginning to its outwardness and inwardness. And to call something one, it must reach an outward and inward end. I could call it zero because it has no ground, but it's clearly here and now. " _____?!?!NOTHING?!?!______ " is all I that can be said about it. There's me = you = everything, which breaks down into ____!?nothing?!?!____ upon further investigation. There's ___!?!nothing?!?____ between physical material and conscious object. There's ___!?!nothing?!?_____ between past and future. It all happens Now - the only place that remains Absolutely unchanged EXCEPT that its also Absolutely Relative as proven by Einstein. There's ___!?!nothing!?___ between me and you. There's just ____!?!nothing??!___ between anything. There is no distinction. There no such thing as a thing-without-some-other-thing which means that there is No thing-other-than-the-whole-thing which means I cannot point to any-one-thing as-itself in-and-of-itself other than ___!?!nothing?!?____ . This is the Holarchical perspective. ---- Putting the ideas of both songs together we can intuit a holarchical ladder with nothing in between. We see an universe of other universes with no part distinct from other parts as it builds itself and destroys itself at the same time - Now - in a fashion that is relative to the timeline of each observer. This universe would: know all from a wide perspective and it would know all from a limited perspective - the one "we" see out of in our everyday understanding. Indeed, in knowing all it would know what it is like to not-know it all. It is from each one of these limited perspectives that the wide perspective gets generated. The manifestation of such wide perspective gives universal purpose. It would be a wild adventure.

Hey guys! So... I finally uncovered my Life Purpose! Thanks @Leo Gura for the course! With that said, being that my life purpose is to be a Running Life Coach, I'm currently living in San Francisco. The running market here in the Bay Area, as someone whose already VERY deep in the running scene (I'm friends with the founder of Hoka ONE ONE, several professional athletes, and have worked in all the niche running specialty stores, and so on and so on, just to give an idea of what I mean by how deep I already am), the problem I see for myself is that the running industry here is so occupied. I mean, it's the Bay Area. I've really been paying attention and listening to my intuition on how I think what's necessary is for me to save up enough money and relocate somewhere. I already don't vibe well with people in the area here. Plus, I've already built up a not-so popular reputation (depending on who you ask I guess) from stupid social mistakes on my part (a common struggle when you're an outspoken person in the most politically correct area in the world). So to sum it up, from my perspective, I think it'd be way too much of a tedious and honestly unnecessary task to try and rebuild an entire new business and reputation and what not given where I'm already located. Plus, again, who I am authentically (plus no enlightenment comments as I'm working on that) really just doesn't vibe well with a lot people here. Plus, for my own mental health, I'm trying to get out of this area as it is because this environment is just so neurotic that it literally drives me up the wall. This fast paced bubble that is the SF Bay Area really just isn't healthy for me. I also love the idea my intuition is feeding me that I'm really best off actually testing out my own training ideas somewhere away from a lot of the masses. I think of it like how Joseph Campbell followed his bliss by retreating into the wilderness and absorbing massive amounts of material from books and such. Like, there's one coach in the history of running from New Zealand that revolutionized training for middle/long-distance running literally through experimenting his training theories on himself. I love that concept. I really don't want to follow the cookie-cutter path by just copying other coaches. I want to learn by working on myself and with others by not just experimenting with different training theories, but also incorporating personal development strategies to increase all the other facets of one's life to create the most fulfilling running career one can have. Hopefully at least some of you are following along so far... If so, I'm impressed ahaha So what I would love to know is, does anyone have some practical wisdom to share on when relocating might be necessary? Another question, if not an even more burning question I have is, what wisdom do any of you guys have to share on how to do research when looking at relocating based around the context of Life Purpose? Anything helps & thanks as always!

Its all a dream-like existence with logic. I've got this realisation, because my dreams have been getting so realistic, that there is absolutely no difference in experience, except that here it is longer and follows certain rules. Tibettan Budhism has a section all about dreams. They are extremely helpful companions and teachers in the Hero's journey. You can make far more spiritual growth within your dreams than in real life exactly because this logic section of mind is switched off. Where infinite potential meet infinite knowing. 0 (0%) is infinite potential, 1(100%) is infinite knowing meet in nonduality, then the Holy True Love relationship is formed. And we experience bliss within the dream.

So you may not completely resonate with the terminology that I use here but I think you will get the idea. Basically, the purpose / reason for LITERALLY ANY human action in life is: TO MAXIMIZE THE QUALITY OF ONE'S CONSCIOUSNESS. And I'm not just talking about awareness like Leo does. I mean that literally every human being on Earth has this very same purpose whether they know it or not. So what do I mean when I say TO MAXIMIZE THE QUALITY OF ONE'S CONSCIOUSNESS? Well, when you are hungry why do you go and eat? Because you want to satisfy your hunger. Simple enough. But what is hunger? It's basically a feeling. This is what I mean when I refer to the quality of your consciousness. Life is just one giant stream of momentary consciousness -- this moment is consciousness, the moment after that also, etc. etc. So when I say "the quality of your life" that's the same thing as saying "the quality of your consciousness." But the quality of your consciousness is not determined by how much money you have, or how skilled you are at something, or how famous you are. It is ONLY determined by the FEELINGS / EMOTIONS / EXPERIENCES you have e.g. your happiness, fulfillment, the passion you experience on a regular basis, the wonder, beauty, and magnificence you are able to see in the world. Even benevolence is done for the same reason -- the joy it will bring when you help the world. Even pursuers of Truth do this for the same reason. They want to KNOW, and to them, satisfying their thirst for Truth is a worthwhile way of maximizing the quality of their consciousness. Plus all of the bliss that might come from that. But this is also why people are protective or even agressive. Because they want to protect something (their body, their property, somethings that's "theirs") which in one way or another contributes to the maximizing of the quality of their consciousness. It's also why they might seek power or fame. Because power lets them manipulate reality easier and fame basically creates the illusion that their worth has increased and because they see themselves as a separate entity in the world, they think that this entity has somehow become more powerful and can therfore influence reality easier and can therefore (in one way or another) maximize the qual. of their consc. The same can be said for almost ant low-consciousness behavior. You just have to analyze it deeply. The only thing that I struggle to fit in this model is SURVIVAL and MAXIMIZING THE LENGHT OF ONE'S LIFE / CONSCIOUSNESS. I mean is that still a way of optimizing one's consciousness -- life (consciousness) is better than death (no consciousness)? This is a long post, I know. But even with a post as long as this one, I couldn't really fully explain all of this theory / model which I honestly believe explains alot! I want to write this on a 5×5 card to read every day -- like a mission statement: My purpose in life is to: MAXIMIZE THE QUALITY OF MY CONSCIOUSNESS. I think it would be a great idea. What do you think? Do you think this theory is sound?

@Spiral @deadforever @art @Siv Hey! If you're up for it, post your information about you and your journey. Maybe you find some likeminded friends a long the way that lives close by. Fredrik Andersson Age: 28 Gender: Male Location: Sweden (born) Marital status: Single Kids : No (and don't want kids) Occupation : recently quit my job (carpenter). Hobbies : personal development, positive psychology, writing (poetry, rap, speeches etc), movies, women, marketing, projects, motivation and making music. Challenges i've overcome so far. Hard addiction: Drugs, mostly marijuana, valium and pain pills (5 years addiction) Quitted aug 5 2015 (two years free). Sorting out toxic relationships. Be able to cry, both from happiness and grief. Trying to be like someone else rather than working to discover YOUR authentic self. (Leo's trap list) Assuming that successful people, like your favorite role-models, celebrities, professors, CEOs, etc are happy (Leo's trap list) Working a job/career just for the money (Leo's trap list) Consuming mainstream media. Not realizing how toxic modern media and entertainment is. (Leo's trap list) Expecting people close to you to understand and support your efforts to grow. (Leo's trap list) Personal challenges I'm trying to overcome (more long term). Stress (trying to change too much too fast. Lack of focus) Prioritize How to deal with emotions (Distracting myrself from facing emptiness, negative emotions, loneliness, and ego backlashes). Procrastination Chasing quick-fixes. Not wanting to explore issues deeply or solve problems at their root. (Leo's trap list) Balance: Money-Follow dreams. (trying to find a way to pay ends meat with out selling my soul until I find out whats true for me) Not having a big vision for my life. Quitting when emotional upheaval surfaces. (Leo's trap list) Letting yourself get lulled back to sleep by our toxic and indifferent culture. (Leo's trap list) What Im working on now: Life Purpose Course + Books (Right now on So good they can't ignore you By Cal Newport) Follow my bliss and see where it leads me Stress (using/learning to implement baby-stepping strategy) + KBT sessions about the roots of my stress. Actualized.org/start Introduction part Not reading, not learning, not doing enough research. (Leo's trap list) Dealing with sorting out low consciousness/egotistical choices from my life (mostly girls) Limiting believes (mostly about quitting bad habits, hard addictions like nicotine and porn, and soft ones like external affirmations)

I remember reading somewhere that for your oversoul the entirety of your life going by is like a second for the oversoul...this relation between psychological time and attention is interesting for me. time is very complex and interesting, time can go by faster and yet the same time can be more abundant. That's the thing with enlightenment, time seems to go by faster, and at the same time it is going by slower. the quantitative property of time passing by, the feeling of how ''fast'' time goes by in my opinion has to do with ''smoothness''. If you're unhappy time doesn't go by smoothly, obviously. If you're happy, this smoothness, this gliding of time comes in. But this gliding of time doesn't mean time is going by faster, it is just that you're not paying attention to the passing of time, you're outside of time so to speak. Those magic times when you're really happy, they are filled with more details and events, because that's why you're so happy, what makes you happy are incredible things, they're filled with these immense experiences. So even though you experience more then ever, you go through so much crazy happy stuff, you lose your relationship to time. doesn't anyone else experience this? when you're really having fun time you get into this trance and suddenly it's over, you notice time flew by. but it didn't fly by, actually you went through so much stuff being happy, what we experience is a loss of the concept of time. this bond between happiness and loss of relationship to time is important. we live in a made-up world of time, of past and future. When we're genuinely happy we get pulled out of that illusion, because happiness pulls us in the present moment, because happiness is in the present moment, in the ''now'' so to speak. We all through enlightenment aim for the ultimate happiness, the end of suffering forever, we aim to live in bliss and happiness. This does mean though, that we're aiming for a place outside of our world of time. If we live our lives in bliss and happiness...in consequence our lives will go by in the blink of an eye. We'd enter the truth of the world, where everything happens now. This is why death is such a major key in enlightenment. You cannot attain this heavenly happiness if you're afraid to die. Because deep down you'll be afraid to step outside the world of time, and to be literally racing head-on towards your death at thousand miles an hour. The fear of death is what sustains this world of time. It's what sustains the past and the future. The implication of being truely, genuinely happy, to live in the present moment in bliss is that there is no time,you cannot keep track of your death, you cannot keep track of your life, you cannot shield yourself from death nor can you see it coming in any way. you cannot predict or look out for it....it is coming to you with absolute certainty, it's as if it's practically there around the corner,and if you are genuinely outside of time it is there. everything happens now the best way to put iit s that you're genuinely happy you're falling of a cliff straight towards the ground which is death and as long as you have a problem with that you can't be in that place. the degree in which we fear death is the degree to which we cannot attain true happiness, we cannot step outside of time. It has to be said that and I'm starting to see this, is that to live in time and suffering, is to delay your death. if you're suffering time goes by slowly and you get to sorta stay put. this to me seems to be what most of us get out of living in the past and the future. We get to watch out for death, we get to stay far away from it. we're getting something out of not being enlightened and it has to be recognized so that we can work on overcoming this shield of comfort made out of time, just to protect us from death. to be enlightened is to really die, ultimate happiness goes hand in hand with death. if you're ready to die, you're ready to really be happy