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@electroBeam A natural part of the spiritual purification process. Keep applying mindfulness to your ups and downs. Notice their impermanence. You're clearly still clinging to moods and states. That needs to be transcended eventually. Instead of chasing bliss, pursue reality -- that which is actual. Stay the course. You're doing fine. The ego will create mood swings to buck you off like a cowboy at a rodeo.

I sometimes wonder whether those 'low-conscious people' really do suffer. I know that I suffered immensely before I started on this path, but are really 99% that unhappy? sometimes they seem pretty ok and satisfied with their things like going out, TV series, movies, games, fast food, drinking and stuff.. or do some of them not even know that they're suffering? (and isn't that some kind of bliss of the unknowing?)

Hry guys recently I've been going through large fluctuations of bliss and depression. One part of the day I would be in absolute bliss and egolessness the next day my mind would be extremely depressive, bringing up the meaningless of life, and other things not worth mentioning. And there would be just a state of depressive Ness like the void would inherently contain sadness in it. This has repercussions for school work, normal work and social relationships. While I don't have bipolar disorder, it would be equivalent to a void version of it. Has anyone ever read anything about this issue and what they did to calm down the fluctuations?

**Side note / post** - very intriguing story on the matter... https://www.ramdass.org/death-lsd-maharaji/ " Death, LSD & Maharaji Posted March 1, 2015 I had brought a picture with me of a boy who had died in America under strange circumstances. In 1968 he had come to see me in New Hampshire and had become one of my first students of yoga. He would come and visit each week and he immediately absorbed everything I shared with him of what I had learned in India. I had eventually wanted to send him to Hari Dass, but he had preferred to go to live in a cave in Arizona to continue his sadhana. I had taught him all I could, but he wrote me letters and checked in every few months during the winter of 1968-69. I didn’t hear from him for a while and later learned he had died in a cave. His mother had shared with me his final diary entries, which were most unusual. I suspected that the final diary entry had been entry had been written while he was under the influence of LSD. The story was that he had been found dead with blood coming out of his nose and that there was blood on the wall. Perhaps he had been doing pranayam (yogic breathing practice) and had burst a blood vessel. The entries were as follow: “Ramana Maharshi and my guru are both navigating my maha samadhi…no worry…I am in infinite bliss…and will guide you from within…right Ram Dass and tell him the good news that I have no longer to undergo sadhana…and there…Love, love…I know what is happening, also the guru is with me inside…know that I left the body completely identified with Jesus…Jesu esta conmigo. Yo estoy en su corazon…con guru.” I had promised his mother that when I was next with Maharajji I would ask him about his son. At the appropriate time I fetched what had been his high-school graduation picture and handed it to Maharajji. He peered at it closely and said, “He’s not in his body.” “That’s right, Maharajji.” “He died from taking medicine.” “Aha, I thought so.” (This implied to me that he had not indeed entered true samadhi but had probably done pranayam while on LSD.) But then Maharajji, apparently understanding my doubts, said, “No, it is alright. He will not take rebirth. He finished his work. Now he is one with Christ. He loved you very much. He cried about you.” Maharajji was silent for some time and then he added, “You should tell his mother she should not worry, he is with Christ. He is watching over her. He finished his work.” (Maharajji had quoted exactly the words of the diary [never having seen it], and he had showed me that under certain circumstances LSD could be the vehicle for returning to God.) Then Maharajji sat silently with eyes closed. The moment was one of great power. ~Ram Dass "

There is a lot of legitimacy to this question @egoless , as no one is known to have ever gone beyond the beyond that is beyond, beyond, as what is clear is that our conditioning is limited. Or in other words we just don't have the tools at our disposal. Just as interesting though is that is the idea itself the last breath of ego, the ace up the sleeve, to keep a hold of the castle? After all ego needs something to chase, a sense of purpose to attach itself to and gain legitimacy doesn't it? Further to that Enlightenment implies that there is no enlightenment without a doubt as the idea of an absolute dream caves in on itself once it acknowledges the absolute, as enlightenment can not be excluded. What is clear is that having mind conditioned by an experience of 'an absolute' or to become 'enlightened' in its purest form brings about a ' state' abundant in peace love clarity and compassion to those who have been afforded the gift of resting deep within. It is obvious. Although in saying that what is also interesting is that people who do not chase enlightenment and follow different doctrines of being also have the ability to tap into something that also produces the same fruits, which implies that the ultimate can be experienced wearing a number of masks, and again if you recognise The Ultimate as the base, wether seen as illusion or real, it is non exclusive from within the enlightened state. Who knows, perhaps The Absolute actually has a personality disorder and in actuality is really course and callous and enlightenment is only a smoke screen to mask that fact. I mean seriously look at the world we live in and the atrocities we see every day, if the Absolute is all, and is what is, then that is some pretty twisted shizzle right there, and to become enlightened we actually become ignorant to the reality of harshness, after all ignorance is bliss. Personally, I prefer the beauty and pureness of the enlightened notion of The Absolute, although any question that unconditions is a good thing. Namaste

when you cut out all the distractions there is a lot of pain but also some bliss which sounds funny but that's how I see it .

Everyone Has Intuition, Even You All of God’s children are endowed with the highest intelligence: intuition, the all-knowing wisdom of the soul. Intuition is that power of Spirit inherited by the soul by which truth is perceived directly, without the medium of any other faculty. Intuition is soul guidance, appearing naturally in man during those instants when his mind is calm. Nearly everyone has had the experience of an inexplicably correct “hunch” or has transferred his thoughts accurately to another person. Every man has the power of intuition, as he has the power of thought. As thought can be cultivated, so intuition can be developed. In intuition we are in tune with Reality — with the world of Bliss, with the “unity in diversity,” with the inner laws governing the spiritual world, with God. …but it needs to be developed: In the life of every person, two forces of knowledge are operative from birth: (1) the power of human reason, along with its satellites of sensation, perception, conception, and so forth; (2) the power of intuition. The former is developed through social institutions and interactions. The latter usually remains uncultured, undeveloped, because of want of proper guidance and methods of training. So long as one’s intuition remains undeveloped, he is guided mainly by the limited understanding of mortal intelligence, with only occasional promptings of intuitive wisdom. Thus he engages in some good actions, but also in many wrong actions, and acquires many bad habits. Through the operation of the law of cause and effect, or karma, he finds himself following helplessly his own self-created destiny, which often leads to misery. A life can be successful, healthy, and complete — balanced with wisdom and happiness — when activity is guided by God’s inner, intuitive direction. The only way to know and to live in truth is to develop the power of intuition. Then you will see that life has a meaning, and that no matter what you are doing the inner voice is guiding you. While animals are guided primarily by instinct, and ordinary man is guided by his ego, the yogi who is united to the Self is guided by the soul. This intuitive power can be developed by learning the step-by-step methods of scientific deepest meditation that lead to Self-realization. Qualities of Intuition It is distinct from senses, thoughts, and intellect… “Intuition manifests in the calm consciousness as feeling, perceived mostly through the heart. When such feeling comes, you receive through it a definite sense of right direction and unshakable conviction.” The senses and mind are the outer doors through which knowledge percolates into the consciousness. Human knowledge filters in through the senses and is interpreted by the mind. If the senses err in perception, the conclusion drawn by the understanding of that data is also incorrect. A white gossamer cloth fluttering in the distance may look like a ghost, and a superstitious person believes that it is a ghost; but closer observation reveals the error of that conclusion. The senses and understanding are easily deluded because they cannot grasp the real nature, the essential character and substance, of created things. Man’s highest faculty is not reason but intuition: apprehension of knowledge derived immediately and spontaneously from the soul, not from the fallible agency of the senses or of reason. Intuition comes from within; thought, from without. Intuition gives a face-to-face view of Reality; thought gives an indirect view of it. Intuition, by a strange sympathy, sees Reality in its totality, while thought chops it up into parts. …and yet it includes feeling Beyond the senses and intellect, intuition manifests in the calm consciousness as feeling, perceived mostly through the heart. When such feeling comes in meditation, you receive through it a definite sense of right direction and unshakable conviction. Increasingly you will be able to recognize and follow this intuition. That doesn’t mean you give up reason. Calm impartial reason can also lead to intuition. Use common sense. But remember that arrogant or emotional reasoning leads to misconceptions and mistakes. “Pure reason and pure feeling both have intuitive qualities. Pure feeling sees as clearly as pure reason.” Pure reason and pure feeling both have intuitive qualities. Pure feeling sees as clearly as pure reason. Most women have a keenly developed intuition. Only when they become unduly excited do they lose their intuitive powers. Pure reason is also intuitive, if this power is sufficiently developed. Otherwise, should the premise be wrong, the conclusion will be wrong also. Sooner or later, every man who reasons clearly will develop true intuition, which never errs. You must feel as well as think; if you do not have feeling along with your thoughts, you will not always be successful in reaching the right conclusion. Feeling is an expression of intuition, the repository of all knowledge. Feeling and thought, or reason, must be balanced; only then does the divine image of God within you, the soul, manifest its full nature. Hence Yoga teaches one how to balance his powers of reason and feeling. One who does not have both equally is not a fully developed person. The harmonious balance of reason and feeling leads to intuitive perception and the ability to know what is Truth. Achieving this balance, men and women become gods. Consequences of Undeveloped Intuition Ignorance of what you really are: Undeveloped intuition is a crystal placed before the soul, producing a double image. The soul itself is the real image; the reflection is unreal — the ego or pseudosoul. The more undeveloped the intuition is, the more distorted the ego image will be. When human life is guided by this false identity, which is brought about by the presence of undeveloped intuition, it is subject to all the limitations and false notions of delusion. A chaotic existence of error and its consequences is therefore inevitable. “Anyone seeking success would accomplish more if he concentrated upon increasing the receptive quality of his brain cells, instead of depending just on books and college work for his progress.” When a man is identified with his body, he feels nothing more than the sensations of sight, smell, taste, touch, sound, weight, and movement....God sent man to earth to be entertained by the bodily dreams, not to obscure his consciousness of immortality by being identified with the body. If one can for a sufficient length of time remain unidentified with thoughts and sensations, and without being unconscious, he will know through the development of intuition the nature of the soul. “I am not the breath; I am not the body, neither bones nor flesh. I am not the mind or feeling. I am That which is behind the breath, body, mind, and feeling.” When you go beyond the consciousness of this world, knowing that you are not the body or the mind, and yet aware as never before that you exist — that divine consciousness is what you are. You are That in which is rooted everything in the universe. The advanced student should meditate deeply until his thoughts become dissolved into intuition. In the lake of intuition, free from the waves of thought, the yogi can see the unruffled reflection of the moon of the soul. Undeveloped intuition brings errors in judgment and wrong decisions. . . Errors in judgment are a result of not having developed intuition. Most of you have had the feeling that you could be great, and do great things; but because you have lacked intuitive power, that potential has, for the most part, remained dormant. Since the judgment of your mind is conditioned by the information fed to it by the senses, if your senses become deluded you may think a person is wonderful without knowing what he truly is inside. You may think you have found your soul mate, so you enter into matrimony; and then end up in the divorce court. But intuition will never make such a mistake. It will not look at the magnetic power of the eyes or at the attractive face or personality of a person, but will feel and perceive accurately in the heart what that person is really like. . . .while developed intuition brings success in life: To progress and to avoid the misery of mistakes, you have to find what is the truth in everything. This is possible only if you develop your intuition. That is the practical truth of the matter. That is why I am asking you to cultivate and use intuitive power in everything. In your relationships with others, in your business, in your married life, in every part of your life, intuition is essential. By not developing the faculty of intuition, you make wrong decisions, pick up the wrong business associates, and get caught up in wrong personal relationships. There is always uncertainty in depending only on the material ways of success. But the intuitive way of success is different. Intuitive perception can never be wrong. It comes by an inner sensitivity, a feeling by which you know in advance whether or not you are going to succeed by following your determined course. Many people, lacking intuition, put a lot of money into financial prospects that do not produce anything, and consequently they lose everything. I have been successful in every decision I have made through intuitive power. It never fails. The scientific man or the businessman or anyone seeking success would accomplish more if he concentrated upon increasing the receptive quality of his brain cells, instead of depending just on books and college work for his progress. The world starts with books and outside methods, but you should start by increasing the receptivity of your intuition. In you lies the infinite seat of all knowledge. Ways to Develop Intuition First develop common sense. . . Intuitive wisdom, though transcending ordinary knowledge, does not make one otherworldly or impractical; it is the parent of common sense, which is simply intuitional reaction to one’s environment. . . . then add some research and deliberate practice to set the stage for intuitional guidance: Learn all you can about your goal and the practical steps needed to achieve it. Whether you are investing your money, starting a business, changing your occupation, after you have investigated, compared, and applied your intelligence to the limit, don't rush headlong into it. When your reason and investigation points to one thing, then meditate and pray to to your inner God. In inner silence, ask your higher self if it is all right to go ahead. If you meditate deeply and earnestly and find that something is turning you from it, don’t do it. But if you have an irresistible positive impulse, and you meditate and pray and go on meditating and this impulse still persists, then go ahead. Your request for guidance must be sincere, so that whatever impulse you feel will be from God and not mere reinforcement of your own flawed desire. That is the way I developed the practical application of my intuition. Before starting any endeavor, I sit in meditative silence in my room and go on expanding that power in my mind. Then I throw the concentrated light of my mind on what I want to accomplish. “Only when restless thoughts cease can one hear the voice of God communicating through the silence of intuition....In the devotee’s silence God’s silence ceases.” Always ask your inner God - the True you - to guide you. If your ego is blind and has a strong voice, it may drown out intuition and mislead you. But if you seek only to please The Universe by your efforts to do something worthwhile, He will guide your footsteps from error to good. Meditation is the surest way. . . The surest way to liberate the expression of intuition is by meditation, early in the morning and before going to bed at night. Whenever you want to solve a problem intuitively, first go into deep meditation or silence, as you have been taught in the Lessons. Don’t think of your problems during meditation. Meditate until you feel that a sense of calmness fills the inner recesses of your body — until a divine happiness fills the inner recesses of soul — and breath becomes calm and quiet. Then concentrate simultaneously at the point between the eyebrows (Christ Consciousness Center) and the heart. Lastly, ask God to direct your intuition, so that you may know what you should do about your problems. The clear-thinking man should be distinguished from the man who thinks too much....Intuition manifests only in calmness; in the undeveloped man, it only occasionally peeps in through the loopholes of leisure periods of the active mind and restless senses. The clear-thinking individual does not allow intellect to overrule intuition; by his patient calmness, he permits the full play of intuition in guiding him to right determinations. To attain a higher state of consciousness and divine perception, it is necessary through meditation to withdraw the mind from its continual restless activity. In that interiorized state, spiritual sensitivity, or intuition, awakens. An advanced Kriya Yogi, who in samadhi meditation has withdrawn his consciousness and life force from the realm of the gross body and senses, enters that inner world of wisdom revelations. He becomes aware of the seven sacred altars of Spirit in the spine and brain, and receives all knowledge emanating from them. Thus in tune with truth through intuitive soul-perception, he knows invariably the correct guidance for all aspects of his spiritual and materially dutiful conduct. Let me be clear about something: the goal of yoga science is to calm the mind, that without distortion it may hear the infallible counsel of the Inner Voice. God speaks to you through your intuition. . . Spirit does not necessarily talk through the lips of a form in a vision, or a materialized human body, but may intimate words of wisdom through the medium of the devotee’s awakened intuition. God may counsel a devotee by assuming the form of a saint, but usually He adopts the simple method of speaking through the devotee’s own intuitive perception. God’s voice is silence. Only when restless thoughts cease can one hear the voice of God communicating through the silence of intuition. That is God’s means of expression. In the devotee’s silence God’s silence ceases. No devotee should be satisfied until he has sufficiently developed his intuition — by impartial introspection and deep meditation, as in Kriya Yoga — to experience the communion of soul and Spirit. If a devotee meditates intensely for at least short periods every day, and has longer periods of three or four hours of deep meditation once or twice a week, he will find his intuition becoming sufficiently superfine to realize unendingly the dialogue of blissful wisdom exchanged between the soul and God. He will know the interiorized state of communion in which his soul “talks” to God and receives His responses, not with the utterances of any human language, but through wordless intuitional exchanges. Real Religion Is Based Upon Intuition All bona fide revealed religions of the world are based on intuitive knowledge. Each has an exoteric or outer particularity, and an esoteric or inner core. The exoteric aspect is the public image, and includes moral precepts and a body of doctrines, dogmas, dissertations, rules, and customs to guide the general populace of its followers. The esoteric aspect includes methods that focus on actual communion of the soul with God. The exoteric aspect is for the many; the esoteric is for the ardent few. It is the esoteric aspect of religion that leads to intuition, the firsthand knowledge of Reality. Intellectual discourses about the Creator will not give you God. But by seeking Him within, making the effort every day, you will find Him. The way to God is not through the intellect, but through intuition. Ordinary human beings, studying and working with material life, are circumscribed in their understanding by their sense perceptions and rationalizing intelligence. With undeveloped intuition, their limited power of intellectuality cannot truly comprehend matters of the spirit even when such truth is expounded to them. Though colossal intellects and famous theologians may be well read about the soul, they may nevertheless understand little about it! On the other hand, even illiterates given to deep meditation will be able clearly to describe the nature of the soul from their own direct experience. Intuition bridges the chasm between intellectual knowledge of the soul and actual realization of the divine Self. Intellectual giants, masters of many languages, veritable walking libraries of knowledge and deductive philosophy, but who are devoid of the help of clear-eyed intuition, have a deluded intelligence — functional on the plane of relativity, but obstructive to divine wisdom. It is by intuition that God can be realized in all His aspects. We have no sense that can reveal knowledge of Him; the senses give knowledge only of His manifestations. No thought or inference can enable us to know Him as He truly is, for thought cannot go beyond the data of the senses; it can only arrange and interpret the impressions of the senses. “God is beyond mind and intellect…His true nature can be felt only through the soul’s power of intuition.” God is beyond mind and intellect…His true nature can be felt only through the soul’s power of intuition. We must find His consciousness through the superconscious mind — the nucleus of mind and intelligence. His infinite nature is revealed to man through the intuitive superconsciousness of the soul. The joy felt in meditation reveals the presence of Eternal Joy spread over all creation. The light seen in meditation is the astral light from which our tangible creation is made. Beholding this light, one feels a unity with all things. Intuition Produces True Wisdom, the Antidote to Kosmic Delusion Man is so drunk with delusion, it obliterates his true perception so that the darkness of his ignorance cannot apprehend the light of God vibrating everywhere. Both cosmic delusion (maya) and individual illusion or ignorance (avidya) work together to thus obscure and confound the soul’s inherent intuitive sense of God’s omnipresence. In meditation this darkness of sensory dependence goes away and intuition prevails, revealing oneself as light in the magnitude of a whole universe of light. When man is settled in that inner kingdom of divine consciousness, the awakened intuitive perception of the soul pierces the veils of matter, life energy, and consciousness and uncovers the God-essence in the heart of all things. When by meditation and devotional practice of divine teachings the soul’s intuition begins to guide the development of intelligence, it is then that delusion instead of wisdom is doomed to destruction. The Transcendent Vision This life is a master novel, written by you as God, and man would go crazy if he tried to understand it by reason alone. That is why I tell you to meditate more. Enlarge the magic cup of your intuition and then you will be able to hold the ocean of infinite wisdom. The devotee who transcends the myopia of body consciousness sees with the superior vision of divine intuition, and resolves all formerly incomprehensible dualities in the ecstatic perception of creation as Beauty and Joy. How expressively the Gita extols this truth: “adorned with countless celestial robes and garlands and ornaments” — the stars are His crown jewels; the earth His footstool; the lightning, thunder, storms, and cataclysms the flash of His accoutrements and snap of His cloak as He dances in joy the whirling rhythms of creation, preservation, destruction. Everything in the objective world is an added decoration to beautify the cosmic garment of God; behind all these is the hidden Divine Reality. Meditate with patience and persistence. In the gathering calmness, you will enter the realm of soul intuition. Throughout the ages, those beings who attained enlightenment were those who had recourse to this inner world of God-communion. Jesus said: “When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” * Go within the Self, closing the door of the senses and their involvement with the restless world, and God - the real you - will reveal to you all His wonders. adapted from an article found in Self-Realization Magazine, fall 2011

What is success to me is not the same for you. If we look closer into non-duality topic we can totally refute the notion of success. After achieving Enlightenment with all the major shifts in your life the main shift will happen with your life purpose. We try so hard, contemplate and seek our purpose in life in order to be successful. But it turns into a joke after realizing the Truth of Enlightenment. What will be your grounding point in this egocentric life after realizing this Truth? Every purpose, even one to share this Truth with others becomes irrelevant to you. Maybe that's why the most Enlightened people don't communicate at all. Why would they even care? That's the scary part of Enlightenment - dark side of it - from ego's perspective but anyways it's dark. Reality experiencing itself... While getting fully Enlightened we are pushing away from us the possibility to live our life as ego. Like it is a bad thing - but in reality ego is inseparable from our true self, thus it is necessary. Therefore maybe it's wise to stop at some point and don't try to achieve full Enlightenment. When you have some breakthroughs and see the real possibility of the Truth maybe that's the threshold where it's wise to stop and continue living? Yes that way you don't achieve bliss and highest possibilities of internal happiness but you keep your ego life at the same time realizing that you are just free to experience it as freely as you wish! P.S. When you fully realize the Truth there is no way back, but when you have seen some parts of it through small cracks there is always an option to stop or continue. Maybe that idea of choice is what's worth keeping and experiencing?!

@ThirdEyeSees Thank you for sharing. It seems you have walked quite a path already, trough the hardship of life. It's very similar to my own life story it seems, i've quit weed a couple of months ago and it has been quite the experience these past months. I feel sometimes like i've deconstructed my "identity", by reading about all sorts of spiritual things making me wonder what/who i am at times. It's definitively an ongoing process For me, in most spiritual practices, i've found it is certainly possible to have experiences of bliss and rapture like sensations when i'm "working on it". But it is when out in the world in daily life, at work, or interacting with people, that i quickly lose most of it. That is why i was interested in your experience with kundalini that stays with you for longer periods, or the entire day even. How do you suggest i could try it out for myself, what is a good place to start to cultivate or even "master" it? I do have strange sensations around my belly and heart at times, that feel sort of like what you describe. I also have something that feels a lot like the orgasmic head feeling you describe. But when life's demands call me to "reality" it all quickly fades for me. Leaving it to have little impact on my daily life, aside from perhaps stress-relief and a good time in between the rest of my "harder life" I'm not skeptical at all, more than perhaps looking for "help" on how to do it myself?

@zazed Kundalini does lead to spiritual enlightenment. Also, from what I read, it isn't Kundalini itself that makes a person feel unpleasant. It is our unconscious thoughts and ideas that we have been carrying in us. Kundalini forces you to work through these issues and I can imagine it is scary for anyone who doesn't know what Kundalini is and it happening to them. Also it seems some people have an initial Kundalini awakening or self realization and then followed by Kundalini syndrome. In my case, I have had no self realization but am working with Kundalini syndrome which I didn't fully admit to myself that was happening for a while because it just seems so surreal. Also, I had the why would it happen to me thought. As we all assume or know, there is no me. Here are some examples from Tara Springett's book Enlightenment through the Path of Kundalini regarding your quality of life question. Benefits of Kundalini include bliss, ecstacy and rapture, easiest way to imagine bliss is to think of ecstatic sensation of an orgasm. Bliss in head feels like heavenly pleasure. Bliss in throat feels more joyful, Bliss in heart like deep love, Bliss in solar plexus fills us with a sensation of deepest peace, Bliss at the naval feels like the overflowing joy you would feel if your dreams were suddenly fulfilled. Creativity forces are strongly stimulated. Kundalini can be used for spiritual healing and enhanced resistance to disease. These are gifts that usually need to be developed. She says it makes you more beautiful and sexually attractive. You will have more energy and a more youthful appearance. Deeper insight and intuition and intelligence. Liberation from ego. Freedom from our personal past. Freedom from the need to protect our ego. Freedom to be whatever and whoever you want to be. Power and supernatural power. Transformation of ordinary reality into paradise. Enlightenment. My personal story: It is impacting everything right now. This past year was and is really hard for my husband and me. That part doesn't feel great at the moment but I get confused if I am judging or blaming or basically if its just all my ego. I do feel love and bliss in my head. It literally does feel like an orgasm in my head. And I feel it is my heart and throat and now I am trying to open my solar plexis chakra. It is just recently changing the way I act in a more positive direction. I feel like I just want to go up to everyone who I shut out and say I am so sorry, do you need help with anything? I am becoming more conscious of how I listen to people, how much my life can affect someone else. I always thought I felt compassion for other people, but this compassion that is still developing for others is a little different. Kundalini forces you to do the self actualization part of enlightenment because it is part of enlightenment. I have quit drinking entirely. I used to smoke weed weekly but I don't do that anymore. I was pretty depressed before starting this path and now even though I have some days where I feel sad and maybe depressed, I have days where I am happy the WHOLE day. I haven't had that since teenage years. I'm 32. I didn't like myself AT ALL and now I am learning how to be my best friend. I don't know how to gauge the personality change yet. I feel like it will probably change but I still feel like myself. So far, no real benefit from the third eye in my daily life. Just interesting. Kundalini is different for different people. I think I am having a pretty good experience with it. We will see though. I am seeing a therapist and reading and trying to keep up with it. Just started yoga. Meditation and knowing when not to do a meditation. You have to eat healthy. If you don't you feel it. I do not know what is to come. Keep on asking and that is totally okay if you are skeptical. I was an atheist before this and I sometimes just cannot believe what is going on.

Entry 219 | Relax Theory: “Scientific experiments have shown that is absolutely impossible to feel fear, anger, anxiety or negative emotions of any kind while the muscles of the body are kept perfectly relaxed.” Applying it: Whenever you bring your attention to the present moment, bring awareness to the tension in your body and make a conscious effort to relax it. Pulled this quote from Psycho-Cybernetics today. It's actually such an obvious truth that it went straight over my head. How often is it that when we're feeling ridiculously happy or elated that we're also feeling tension in our body? Not at all. That's why people say that laughter is the best medicine. Not because there's anything special about the laughter itself, but because it's a means through which you can let go of all the tension in your body. It's made me realise the underestimated importance of relaxation. Imagine if you could go through the whole day without once feeling tense, nervous, anxious, or fearful. Or instead of reacting to negative thoughts and obsessing over them, we could just relax and let them go. And imagine if that was every day. Existence would just seem like total bliss from beginning to end. And it's not like we need the suffering in order to appreciate the bliss either. There isn't a single person on this website (or on Earth) who doesn't remember what suffering feels like. Why not aim to keep that feeling as a memory? Also, I remember hearing somewhere that stress and tension is caused by unconsciousness. That's pretty much the bottom line. When you're not paying attention to the present moment, your mind reverts to the negative position and your body begins to tense up. In Think And Grow Rich, Hill describes that if you don't plant the seeds for growth, happiness and fulfilment in your mind, then like a garden it will start to produce weeds and ruin it's body, i.e. destructive thoughts and habits will grow instead. So let's just chill together Pick of the day:

@Emerald Willpower is an illusion, a concept, a thought-story. If you let go of the small self, your life would clean up automatically. You do not control anything. The mind has made it all up. Once you fully let go and accept and maintain Awareness, your life will be nothing but constant peace and bliss. Whatever happens is whatever happens, and you're cool with it because you realize there is no you controlling anything. Paradoxically, you get "self-control" by letting go of your small self completely. Trust that you will be fine. You never had control in the first place! The only thing that exists is Awareness. The small self is a mental fiction that is picked up in Awareness, but has nothing to do with Awareness per se. The small self is a sensation in Awareness we might say. Free will is also a sensation in Awareness (as a thought). Willpower is similarly a sensation in Awareness (as a thought). Being = Awareness = You. Everything else is mind games.

@Leo Gura I've been wanting to ask you this for a while now. I've experienced that 'mystical' Samadhi like state of total bliss. While in that state of union I consciously surrendered even that -as beautiful as it was. You could say I than fell through it. What happened next is I became absorbed into the absolute. It was beyond conscious experience. I literally vanished into non existence. As if frames where missing from that part of the movie reel. So when you say 'you can't imagine absolute infinity.' that's true from my 'non experience' of the absolute. But I have a feeling that's not quite what you experienced by your description of the absolute. So I'm a little confused here. My 'experience' of the absolute is there is no experience of the absolute. So I'm just wondering what that is? Am I missing something there? This is the reason I have been listening to Nisargadatta lately. I can directly relate to when he says 'the absolute does not know itself, it is beyond consciousness (turiyatita). So I'm wondering, is there an awareness beyond conscious experience that is able to access the absolute in some way? If you could help me with this one that would be great. Maybe-just maybe, I could experience the absolute that lies beyond Samadhi without the help of 5-meo? Maybe I'm missing something right in front of me. Thanks

@egoless It's Samadhi time! Consciousness void of all thought. Sweet! I posted this earlier but if you didn't see it, here it is again . Maybe you can relate your experience to what is described here? What is Samadhi? Samadhi is a spiritual experience that opens us to the highest state of consciousness and inner bliss. It is stepping into your enlightened nature that is free from all suffering. Samadhi is found through diving into a consistent state of pure consciousness, that is void of attachment to any thought. Samadhi is a deep personal, intimate merging with the divine inside you and all around you. It is being unified with the Universe through your consciousness. When one reaches Samadhi there is a deep knowing that all is one, and that "oneness" is at the core of who you are. Samadhi gives you a moment to moment spiritual experience that is opening, trusting and softening into each new moment of your life. Samadhi is the eternally expanding realization that your ego is not real, and that you (the soul, spirit and divine essence) are what is truly real and will never die.

Before my first ceremony, I asked one of the guides what the experience would be like. She told me that everyone has unique physiology and life experience and will be shown what they need to know in that moment. Each of my three ceremonies was unique and I talked with several participants and they too had unique experiences. My first ceremony was mentally easily and physically hard. There was a blissful energy that swept me away and there was no struggle to hold on my ego or control. It was like "So, just let go of the ego to experience this bliss? Cya ego!". There weren't really "lessons". It was like a semi-lucid state with semi-awareness. There was a sense of being on a foreign planet and oneness within the temple. There were visuals of people I had encountered in Peru and there was a different sense about them. I was connected and enamored with this energy or vibe they had. I felt such appreciation and love for them. Afterword, I felt love for everyone there. It was just being and experiencing. It wasn't like there was knowledge or wisdom. . . Like have you ever had a moment when time stops momentarily and you are present for a beautiful moment? Maybe something like a person playing with their dog on the ground and the dog spontaneously jumps on the owner licking their face - they smile and laugh and roll together. You witness it yet also momentarily lose yourself for a moment and experience that beautiful energy and connection - and feel it. Kinda like that but 100X as intense for four straight hours of various beauties. It wasn't like knowledge. Heading into the second ceremony I felt good. Too good. I actually gave some first-timers advice about letting go and surrendering. Little did I know. . . My intention was to be aware and be shown my blocks to my deeper self. Early on, I tried to steer the experience back to blissville and lost control. I struggled and experience fear, insecurities and panic at times. This time was the most clear-headed, aware experience I've ever had. It's awkward to call it "lessons" or "knowledge" because it wasn't about thoughts. There was no analysis, good/bad, "I get it". Yet, there was this essence/truth/awareness regarding fears, insecurities and beliefs. There was a sense of some kind of being, yet not a source I can pinpoint. There was no "I" or thinking there - so all this I write now is not the actual experience - I'm just trying to put it into words (which were not part of the experience). . . There was a phase at the insanity threshold that nearly went into a full-on panic. I had brought a benzo in case of an emergency - the idea to take it came up - followed by an absolutely clear sense of DO NOT TAKE IT. The prospect of taking the benzo was much more frightening than just experiencing the experience. It was like my ego wanted to regain control with a secret weapon from "my" world. There was an extremely strong sense of "don't fuck with this" and I caught a glimpse of the energy changing to something really dark if I took the benzo. I think my ego surrendered a bit more at that point. After the ceremony, I asked one of the experienced participants if this experience and "lessons" need to be processed or have they just become part of me. I didn't fully understand his response - but it included both.

If you have kundalini congrats! Its basically a guaranteed path to love and bliss. You just need to survive the dark night.

I'm curious as to why you posted this? Are you looking for someone to give you some magic pill? Are you looking for someone to hold your hand? What're you a girl or something!? Lmao I'm kidding... Sort of. Follow your bliss man. Clearly your body is telling you something if it makes you that upset to work a job you don't like. Listen to your body. Listen to your heart.

@Martin123 that is hilarious! Hahaha it's so true. I felt like there was an electrical orb around my body last night. And now I feel love and bliss in my head and throat. It's nuts. Did you continue to meditate? I had to take a break because it was getting too intense. Did/do you have any teachers to help you? @Nahm I am also interested if you have an active kundalini. I can potentially see that working but it is hard in the middle of it. Thank you for the advice. Tara Springett said to meet kundalinis power with love.

When a person becomes spiritual, they also become more honest. Sometimes others find their honesty offensive. Suffering and pollution exist because humanity has fallen from the state of "Sat-Chit-Ananda" (Absolute-Consciousness-Bliss). The only way to stop it, is if everyone was enlightened. If everyone was enlightened the game would be over. God has set up the game in a way that most people don't know they are God. If they knew it would defeat the purpose of God pretending to be them, wouldn't it?

@phoenix666 Awesome. Yeah that does help. I am so used to chasing external happiness. But if I am honest with myself I should be able to see that that doesn't bring true bliss. It's more feelings of fleeting joy on the roller coaster of emotions. I just have the fear of missing out when I turn down options that sound like they would be 'fun'.

@The Monk [All of this is just my opinion and I celebrate the fact that everyOne gets to choose what they want to believe and how they want to live their life. Hooray for that!] Hi Monk, Although there is no universally accepted definition of enlightenment, here are the two key criteria that I use: 1) Being fully awake to the correct understanding of your True Self as this One Divine Source-Awareness, the One Self that arises as all apparent selves and 2) Being completely free from all selfish or self-centered desires or tendencies. These two aspects work together to automatically produce the unhindered flow of all the divine virtues such as loving kindness, compassion, peace, humility, generosity, patience, and the divine bliss that holds all human emotions. In this way, your personal consciousness (your soul) becomes a well-tuned instrument in the hands of God, sharing the fruit of enlightenment with everyOne, including yourself. So we see that being fully awake and being completely free leads to being entirely available for the sharing of the One Love of God, without any fear at all. You can read more here: What Is Enlightenment? https://www.infinitelymystical.com/essays/what-is-enlightenment.html 8-pages But perhaps a better place to start would be here: The Loving Heart of Enlightenment A summary overview of spiritual awakening in simple, clear English https://www.infinitelymystical.com/essays/the-loving-heart-of-enlightenment.html 3-pages Perhaps these will be of interest to you. In truth, I honor your divine nature Thomas Razzeto

The universe is an infinite object, with infinite dimensionality. After death, "you" (identity being paradoxical) should expect something akin to the first moments of awareness of your current person pattern/spacetime worm, but having no memory between "this-you" and "that-you". We are all x degrees of relational separtion from entities that are being tortured, beheaded, burnt alive, etc. And for all intents and purposes (as this is a challenge explaining linguistically), given infinity, those experiences follow you-now after death, given time. So what "you" will experience is dependent upon what you currently are now, and the similarity and closeness you have with other joint relational, subjective states in existence. As every stage of your spacetime worm is numerically and qualitatively distinct, and you feel as though you are undergoing change due to a mereological illusion having self referential memory states presenting an identity narrative between each state - one can only be. As you-now and you-5-seconds-from-now aren't the same conscious individual, and same goes with any other conscious individual. We can't escape existence, nor all the bliss, torture and everything in between that existence offers. Unless somehow you are in a transfinite part of the universe that has subjective, relational memory states that offer no suffering (the closest thing to heaven). Our localized universe, however, seems to offer a variety of the best and the worst kinds of being. It's very painful knowing that I am x degrees of separation from being a person being tortured, and always will be. Regardless of all the good in-between radically different subjective states, I personally wish existence was optional, but that would defy logic. We are all doomed to a sort of naturalistic rebirth. Ever since learning this, this has driven me mad.

@Nahm I'ver read your trip report, wow. sounds like a real breakthrough. do you consider it enlightenment? and have you had such huge awakening experiences also without any psychedelics during meditation or even during day to day activity? Thank you so much, I've noticed your comments before, they're always so inspirational. they always seem to come from a very deep place, a place of love. authenticity shines through. reading your words and similar comments always fuel me to keep on working on this path, so that one day I will reach similar levels of awareness. <3 I've had 4 shroom experiences. 2 very chill ones. 2 with some really fucked up shit going on, where I seriously lost all sense of identity, I just didn't know anything anymore (I think I was not ready at that moment, I was panicking for some time..) and one time I felt like going insane, like having a psychosis. you could probably call them 'bad trips'. but I don't consider them as bad trips, because even though I was scared shitless, at some point I surrendered to my fears and then I experienced one of the best moments in my life where everything went full circle. my fear became the strength of a lioness, psychosis became deep understanding, immense pain became joy and endless bliss. I would like to experiment further with psychedelics, but right now I don't have the possibility. I'm sure that when the time is right, a chance will pop up. for now I will continue with my regular meditation, yoga, journaling, book-reading, nutrition, education practices. wanted thoughts? like being mindful/aware of my thoughts and steering my mind in the direction of pleasant thoughts about my future? I can feel more and more that the world is a reflection of the inside. the more i accept myself, the more I understand and feel empathy towards others. maybe I will recognize reality as love once I truly/completely start loving myself. thank you <3

I like music. Creating my own is like a spiritual practice. You loose yourself in it then come back to reality. You dont exist, nothing exists except for the music and the energy of creation. Not-Knowing. Bliss. But it's not permanent. It doesn't happen everytime I pick up an instrument. In fact the more I try the harder it is. Because if I try, I'm trying, not doing. But that feeling, the intrinsic love for music. Is that worth pursuing? Im young and have only scratched the surface of music. I know its infinite. I guess its a part of life purpose not all of it. It's just so odd of a thing to pursue, a feeling, a state, a level of being. Just do it, be it, forgo everything else? What else is there to do?

@Akshay I really underestimated this, but I agree that this is the most powerful way to change. Information is useful, but being self observant takes you away from theories and makes more in the moment. I'm still a rookie, but this helps and it also gives you more bliss at that moment. Eventually you'll realize that nothing can touch you and that is a powerful realization. I still deal with difficulties, because that realization isn't always with me in the moment, but practice makes perfect.