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Haven't heard the term bliss used related to life purpose before but i haven't been fearful to do what i wanted to do related to "life purpose" but i also think it might be because i might see passion as something else i see it as you need to get really good at something before you become passionate about it(craftman mindset vs the passion mindset by cal newport) and pratice to become better at what you do have never been something i have experienced as something to fear but it is something that is difficult to do(maybe only if i had to perform for other people as what i want to do is related to composing music)

Warning. Just out of the trip so expect lots of grammar mistakes. My hands are shaking right now! What I've seen can not be unseen. Part of me wants to but part of me is grateful for it. I started trip with powerful meditation and determined mindset to experience complete ego death. It happened. It hit me hardest possible and I completely surrendered. I could not even imagine that I had an ability to surrender so much. It completely destroyed me - I vanished. I had no past no future - only present. My consciousness become awaken. I was no longer body - I became awaken from my body. I saw all the figures and possibilities - it is limitless. I can't even describe all this as much as I want to. I experienced the unity of all the forms. I also saw how time does not exist - it's all about from which "angle" consciousness becomes aware of the form. In the middle of my trip I started to write in the trance. It was happening without me involved this is what I wrote: "all kinds of forms offer me hands to shake from all sides. They smile at me, they laugh at me some of them are sad. All there is is limitless game of forms. It has no beginning and no end... Time does not exist in this game of forms only "viewing" angle changes from which consciousness experiences these forms. Time is frozen - all there is is NOW! that is the only thing that exists and it is infinite! This game of forms is the most real thing there is and pointless illusion at the same time. It all happens in me. Who am I? I am all there is. why do I exist? only to exist. Experience is being! This is all pointless. does it scare me? it does not because pointlessness equals to absolute freedom. When there is no ultimate goal there comes the only, true unconditional freedom! Am I alone? No because there is no me and only thing there is - absolute infinity. Figures offer me hands to shake they are all me and they all have their ego sides. We met here in this dimension and we are all one. I am in the bliss and unconditional love to the unity of forms. It is such a bliss that it is killing me and I can't stay here infinitely - I need my form. Can I describe all this for ego dimension? No it is impossible : ( " I've seen there faces and figures which I've never seen in my life. Forms and figures were shaking hands and hugging each other. Everyone and everything was celebrating freedom from their ego sides including my true self. We all had understanding of our unity and that we are same consciousness. for solid 4-5 hours I was in this trance state and time to time I was coming back to my physicality. In that other dimension I also felt the unbreakable link and connection to my physical world sort as these two dimensions are one and ultimately connected. They are the two sides of the same coin! When I came back from this trance I hugged my room walls and felt unconditional love to them. I was so grateful that my reality exists in the exact form as it is.

Yes, I already said it a few topics back, I am experiencing most of the day bliss and love. You don't have to listen to me though, there are great Yogi's that have used this method all the way to self realization within 3 years usually

@Pelin @elias of course you need to be practical, but I think Leo's course teaches to Follow Your Bliss. Maybe you'll run in to some initial troubles, but you will find your object of mastery sooner, nail out your 10,000 hours sooner, and thereby unlock all the security/comfort/independence needs. So my advice would be to follow your heart first and worry about the independence etc later.

Thank you for the experience of bliss! Better person?? According to who? You? Me? Some president? Some Guru? WHO!? - There is no who. Don’t look for joy, that’s procrastination. It’s not of this universe in that material way. It can’t be seen or found. BE loving, GIVE love, that’s YOUR joy! It’s an experience, not a college degree. You can do it now, right now, or you can proscastinate. Text something nice to someone. Start! The rest of your questions will disappear, as this IS tuning in to yourself. You’re gonna like the way it feels, it is infinitely guaranteed! In answer to your last question, I know much of what I am and what I am not, so much in fact, that I know what you are and what you are not. IF you’re thinking “he doesn’t know anything about me”, you’re right, within a material physical paradigm. The mindfuck that awaits you, is that I DO know - because I know that I - know nothing. Start small. Buy your grandma flowers TODAY. Tell the lady at the gas station you appreciate her work, and the place is nice. Look at your hand and recap all it has enabled you to do. Your feet?! The possibilities?! The miracle is discovering you’ve been in a miracle the whole time! The game has been afoot since you fell out of a vagina, assuming that’s even true.

@IAmJohn Let go of the idea of being a better person. Look for consistent joy instead. Trust your inner guidance. Tune into it and listen to it, take it’s direction above all thinking. If something feels less that joy, let alone terrible, then stop!, sit, and let go of that thought tree, plant another ‘wanted’ seed, breath, be patient. With regards to addiction to the experience of her - addiction is the opposite of connection. Look to her, or anyone else, for joyful experiences, not connection. Connect within, alone. Everyone is either asking for love or giving love. The experience as an entity giving love is pure consistent joy. It is selflessness, as in, the focus point is loving, not a thing that is receiving. Surrender your self in exchange for the experience. There is an experience of whole in no self, pure bliss. But to get there, there is an experience of the practices. This is the way to discover what you really are is whole already. You don’t need anything or anyone. Let them be the icing on the cake.

I do however experience loads of bliss, love, happiness, joy and ecstatic energies. However even if you don't experience all that, still doesn't mean you are any further away to become self realized. PS: check out AWA (michael langford) site for more

This or that it does not change the fact that we still live in this dimension and even after Enlightenment there is no escape from this body. If life was meant to experience in a relative manifestations why don't just fkin do it instead of trying to become god and at the same time dead god. Who said that becoming the god is the only viable true path? What if it is other way around. I had a discussion on this topic with my friend and he said yes even if it brings me eternal bliss it will kill me and I will no longer be a human. And with all the suffering and negative emotions I love to be a human because this is what makes me feel other positive emotions too and that's what make them so much more valuable... Maybe experiencing life is all that matters. And within this life you just try to be the best according to your views.

@egoless The explenation is that the killer is not who is evil the circumstances, his environment, his conditioning and thousands other reasons made him do this, a being in a state of peace or bliss will not do such things. What would you do, if you were in the shoes of such a person, maybe you would be doing the same thing after all you have been trough? Without the evil, people would not appreciate peace as much as they do now, what do you think make us stop those things like slavery and such? The evil comes back and back to show us how we can improve and become absolutely peaceful. The faster we learn our lessons the less evil there will be, so by fighting evil you will just produce more evil instead of going the path of peace, of non-violence.

You have to get a sense of what this is about and then just practice, do what works/feels good to you, then just keep going and the results will come and carry u forward, then listen to something sometimes if you feel inspired or you want to become motivated. But this is really not so much about learning, listening to stuff again and again can be fine to recondition the mind but it's not a very effective path as apposed to raw practice though it can supplement it if you feel lazy or if you feel like watching something, but indeed it can also certainly almost harm you if you are starting, live very much in the mind and want a solid grip/path on things. Because yeah, a 100 legit masters can say 200 different things on the same thing! And they are all true! And all false!! It's because this path is not about logic or relative truth, gotta learn to accept the paradox and go your own unique path, all words are relative at the end of the day. I know it's hard for us western geeks, but you have to learn to throw out the mind essentially, and use it well at the same time! "After enlightenment nothing is serious, everything becomes just play", so don't worry about it, this is about YOU! And your discovery of yourself! Beyond words right into bliss. - OT: If it's about picking a guru IRL (which would be a great idea), then look around and try to stick with 1 or maybe 2 I think, and learn to go deep with them, which is also more about friendship and love than actually learning.

Look not going to get into ego games or the inner psychology of the issue. What I suggest is doing a physical activity you actually enjoy . For me it is cycling or simply taking long walks or swimming but the important thing is that you acutely enjoy it . We do things we enjoy more and with less subconscious resistance if we hold a affinity for them. Follow you bliss instead of forcing yourself to do something you truly do not want to do .... good luck

@Charlotte Yeah and this work gets you even more sensitive. Not all bliss and happiness as I expected.

I simply all the time put my attention on the I-feeling. This results in me feeling all the time bliss, love, joy, happiness and it is divine The self is eternal love

I am revealing the Secrets of Tummo meditation mainly known as Tibetian innner fire meditation. The title is not click bait, the instructions I am about to share with you are actually considered secret in the Tibetan Buddhist Vajrayana tradition. I studied the teachings of Inner Fire Meditation or Tummo in depth during my five years living and studying at a Tibetan Buddhist centre and got into a lot of trouble when it became known I was giving these instructions to beginners in my guided meditation classes. But this method is too good to keep secret and has enormous potential to heal, clear the mind, calm the body and bring tremendous joy and confidence into people’s life. I was reprimanded by the senior nun at the Buddhist centre I was living and teaching at and told not just anyone can learn these techniques because she said it was dangerous and years of preliminary training was necessary which included making ritualistic offerings to the Guru, thousands of prostrations and recitations of thousands of purification mantras. I pleaded with her that these simple instructions are so beneficial for people and anyway they are freely available on the internet and in book stores these days and are also very similar to the Pranayama breathing exercises I have learned doing general yoga classes. I also argued that the founder of the centre where we were at said that inner fire was a perfect practise for westerners, but it all fell on the ears of a fundamentalist traditional Buddhist nun and I was told to stop. This began my journey of teaching the Way Meditation outside of tradition and in a way that helped and appealed to modern. learned Tummo or Inner Fire meditation directly from a Tibetan Dzogchen Master Karma Lhundrup who was also breaking with tradition and teaching it to beginners. I also learned the details by reading extensively the works of Meditation Master and revered Tibetan yogi Lama Thubten Yeshe, he taught that inner fire meditation is a perfect meditation for westerners because it brings very quick results and it is like a recipe, when you put all the ingredients together it just works. I have had great results practicing inner fire and it has been one of my main meditation practises for over 10 years. I have in no way mastered the skills to the level of Tibet yogi’s who can withstand extremely cold weather scantly dressed, but I have had humble results of improved concentration and focus, more energy and confidence and experiences of blissful inner pleasure. More experienced adepts of inner fire meditation have been studied by scientist and the results were remarkable and unexplainable in western scientific terms. Herbert Benson is an associate professor of medicine at the Harvard Medical School and president of the Mind/Body Medical Institute at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. He has studied extraordinary human potential since the 80’s and: “During visits to remote monasteries in the 1980s, Benson and his team studied monks living in the Himalayan Mountains who could, by g Tum-mo meditation, raise the temperatures of their fingers and toes by as much as 17 degrees. It has yet to be determined how the monks are able to generate such heat.” – See the Harvard Tummo Experiment for more info. “The meditators sit on the ground, cross-legged and naked. Sheets are dipped in the icy water, each man wraps himself in one of them and must dry it on his body. As soon as the sheet has become dry, it is again dipped in the water and placed on the novice’s body to be dried as before. The operation goes on [in] that fashion until daybreak. Then he who has dried the largest number of sheets is acknowledged the winner of the competition. Besides drying wet sheets on one’s body, there exist various other tests to ascertain the degree of heat which the neophyte is able to radiate. One of these tests consists in sitting in the snow. The quantity of snow melted under the man and the distance at which it melts around him are taken as measures of his ability.” Benefits of Inner Fire Meditation Improved Clarity & Concentration. Inner Fire Meditation requires visualisation, incorporating focussed attention and breathing exercises. In Tibetan Buddhism this is known as a fast and secret way to develop concentration because you you utilise your breath, imagination and attention all in the one practise. It also develops a sharp and clear awareness through raising the vitality and energy levels to heightened states of awareness. Improved Health and More Vitality. Inner Fire Meditation uses what is commonly know in India as Prana, or in Japan it is known as Reiki or in China it is called Chi. These mysterious forces within us are associated with health, healing and a long life. Usually we waste our energy through stressing and dissipating this energy in the pursuit of external satisfaction but Inner Fire Meditation harnesses this energy, grows it and uses it for spiritual development with the side effect of improved health and vitality. Opening the Chakras. Many people ask me how do I open my chakras? well, Inner Fire Meditation is a brilliant way to do this and is one of the main reasons for this practise. The main goal for the practise is to achieve enlightenment through clearing the chakras, entering the central channel and giving rise to special bliss and clarity which very easily understands that enlightenment is already our true nature. But even beginners have remarkable results. More Confidence and Power. Practising inner Fire Meditation connects the practitioner with the power centre of the second chakra which in yoga is associated with physical power, sexuality and creativity. It helps to focus and use nervous energy in a positive way to help build confidence and dispel confusion. In martial arts this is the centre where martial artist’s draw their strength from to perform amazing feats of balance, strength and busting through cement blocks with their strikes. And in Tai Chi this is where all the focus is held to develop graceful and perfectly balanced movement. Harnessing this inner power is harnessing the power to achieve all your goals and dreams and to gain the energy to reach your full potential. Inner Bliss and Joy. The energy you are cultivating is very joyful and blissful. This brings an enthusiasm for the practise that is not found in your usual ‘just sitting meditations’ which can become very boring. This inner bliss can even help to overcome addiction. If addiction is chasing pleasure then as Lama Yeshe says the bliss of inner fire makes all other pleasures pale in comparison. This inner bliss is the cultivation of the famous Kundalini energy which is a mysterious inner joy unlike that of external pleasures such as sex or eating chocolate. Also you can cultivate this energy anywhere at any time; I like to practice while driving and it’s also useful for when you are feeling cold or nervous as the inner bliss really does bring a real and tangible heat and confidence with it. Enlightenment. The ultimate goal of this practise is enlightenment -that is the union or Oneness with a divine nature. In Tibetan Buddhism the time of death is a very important time to practise meditation to achieve enlightenment because the clear white light naturally appears for everyone at the time of death. If through practise you can recognise that light as your own essence; enlightenment is easy. Inner Fire Meditation is a method to generate this clear white light during your lifetime so you don’t have to wait till death and merge with it while you are an individual to bring enormous benefit to your yourself and for others. Removes Obstacles. Inner fire meditation awakens a powerful inner energy which overwhelms the ego and takes over. It is said that practising this meditation regularly quickly removes obstacles to spiritual and worldly success. This meditation comes from the completion stage of Vajrayana which is a fast track method to enlightenment. Even though this has traditionally been kept secret and only given to the most advanced students many respected teachers are now saying that in this time of powerful negativity there needs to be powerful practises like this one given to the general public to help combat those negative forces. The Beginners Practice of Inner Fire Meditation Firstly sit in an upright and comfortable meditation posture- click here for tips on a great meditation posture . Visualise yourself as hollow, like a balloon. Your skin is glowing and brilliant and on the inside there is only empty space. Take a few moment to strongly establish this visualisation. Visualise a ‘central channel’ about a 1cm thick from your perineum to the crown of your head and two ‘side channels’ going in through the nostrils up to the third eye or eyebrow level and then going down either side of the central channel merging at just below the navel. All the ‘channels’ are hollow like plumbing pipes. Take a moment to establish this visualisation, it does get easier and even instantaneous with practice. See image. Even if you cannot do the former visualisation this next step is the most important in generating the blissful energy: Imagine your breath energy going down the two side channels and merging into the central channel just below the navel (about a few cm in front of the spine). Imagine a very small and very hot ball of light in the central channel and your breath ignites this fiery ball and makes it extremely hot. Now hold the breath there in that ball of heat at the navel, for 5-15 seconds (experienced yogis can hold the breath here for several minutes) WARNING: stop immediately and breath normally if you get dizzy or lightheaded. This next step is optional but helps to generate even more heat and focussed attention: As you are holding the breath inside the central channel at the small ball of heat just below the navel, draw energy up from below and down from above and lock and trap it in the ball of heat. Draw it up by activating the perineum muscle (like you are holding back from urinated), hold this muscle and lock it in. Simultaneously swallow some saliva down to get the feeling of pushing down on the ball of heat at the navel and lock it in. Experiment with this. You may wish to lock it in by drawing up from below first and then push down from above, or vice vera. Do what feels best for you to get the sense you are locking in a tremendous amount of energy in a tiny space at the navel. Now release all the energy you have created – straight up through the central and bursting out the top of your head like a fountain. As the energy rushes up through the central channel it blows away any blockages in all the chakras from the solar plexus, the heart, the throat, the third eye and crown chakra. this energy cleanses and purifies your entire body mind system. You can also imagine releasing the energy into parts of your body you need to heal. Repeat steps 2-6 …try Inner Fire Meditation for 2-5 minutes to begin with. Do not practice for extended periods of time until you become familiar with the practise and feel confident and strong enough to do so. This may have sounded complicated, but it is incredibly simple to practice. For an easy and modified version simply take long slow breaths right down into the navel area and hold it there for a short time and release it, this can also be enough to generate heat and bliss. This has been a brief and beginners overview of the Inner Fire Meditation method, but it can still bring all the benefits listed above if done regularly. For more detailed information and instructions including how this practice can lead to subtle clear light and enlightenment; I would highly recommend the book by Lama Yeshe “The Bliss of Inner Fire” NOTE: This is a practice using your own energy, your own breath and your own mind, that can bring speedy and remarkable results, in my opinion it should not be kept secret. Experiment to see what works for you – Notice the inner calm and space you can create whilst holding the breath. Notice the heat energy build up when you hold your breath and lock in the energy. And notice the relaxation and healing response when you let go of the breath. Even just taking long slow breaths and holding and releasing activates a calming response in the body and mind. I generally practice this meditation to clear my mind and relax my body before I settle into simply sitting meditation practise. It is written by Chad Foreman

Into the wild - the last moment when Chris realizes that "Happiness is only real when shared"... He pursued happiness into the wild, away from modern society, technology, burdens to feel the presence and get happiness from the simplicity of life and nature. The last moment though it seems like he deeply regrets his choice of ultimate loneliness. Is that true? Does true happiness only exist when shared with the loved ones? Then how does it correspond to Enlightenment idea. Enlightenment journey requires ultimate loneliness and it predicts unconditional inner happiness and bliss in the end of the road.. But, what if the inner happiness without loving and sharing it with others does not exist? It is so paradoxical but Enlightenment seems like the most selfish work one can do but at the same time it seems the most self-sacrificing/egoless work one can do... Maybe the Balance - The golden mean is the key to true happiness?!

@Preetom @Dan94 ?? I went Brian WIlson for years in a room with my guitar and caprice 24. So my advice is from the value of hindsight. Literally forgot my first name in madness and depression. Now, I play and sing and am legit not there / zoned / bliss. Hope it helps. Remember to stop and love right now. Always.

Hey, I'm somebody who works in Hollywood media (even though I always disdained it) and pursued music composition and videoart privately for 10 years, feeling very unsuccessful in my personal projects despite having a couple shows, and very ashamed of my professional impact throughout. I have been trying to recover from ongoing depression and anxiety for a very, very long time. The study and practice of personal development has been promising, but I can see the war between the following two paradigms is making my head spin in a lot of indecisiveness about how to make moves. I experience a lot of indecision and doubt when thinking about what I really want and how to get it, and then when I make moves, I very often regret them, and just basically live on a rollercoaster of psychic pain that I would quite like to jump off. I'm hoping someone has some insights into how to reconcile this, what is kind of THE big question in philosophy anyway: PARADIGM 1 (THE PARADIGM OF BEING A CHIMPY HUMAN) Human beings like and dislike certain things, and have social needs. Misery is the result of spending your time doing things that you do not authentically enjoy, and not having your biological and/or relational needs as a human met. Working in the media makes me feel ungrounded, cheap, anxious, lonely, depressed, and ashamed of the addiction, self hate, and lies I am contributing to. and Working on my own media ALSO makes me feel ungrounded, lonely, anxious, depressed, and also incompetent and Going out to art/media based events makes me feel ungrounded, anxious, lonely, and depressed, because the content does nothing for me, I am reminded of my disappointment in my own work efforts, and my interactions there relentlessly reinforce that I do not belong, do not appreciate, and am not appreciated and I have no real friendships, real romance, or way to successfully vibe with women, because my vibe is bad, because I hate my work, which also makes me feel worse in itself and The benefits of self help and spiritual practice elude me because the rest is creating too much anxiety THEREFORE I need to figure out what PURPOSE feels good and juicy to me and I need to figure out A WAY TO SPEND MY EFFORT / WORK that feels satisfying and joyous to do AND/OR I need to find fun / enjoyment, and the meeting of my relational needs somehow, regardless of my work, and then I’ll feel better about the work I already do, or have more clarity about what work I enjoy PARADIGM 2 (THE PARADIGM OF BEING A TRANSCENDENT GHOST) The pursuit of happiness in work, relationships, hobbies, drugs, entertainment, and other outer things is actually the source of suffering. You suffer precisely because you bought the lie that you need conditions to be met to feel good. The real and only cure for excessive suffering is to surrender your conquest, and float back to your default position of bliss, which is your deepest nature, and is spiritual, sentient, and eternal. Surrender is the only path to substantial peace, love, and inspired action in life. My career is actually a goldmine of creative and impactful possibilities. I am squandering a goldmine and a decade of developing skills because I don’t have access to inner love. and I am surrounded by potentially deep friendships, and it’s me that chooses not to develop them out of depression and detachment to inner light and Dating is not working out for me because women can immediately tell that I do not feel good, which is again because I don’t know how to spiritually fill myself up, not because my work life is a big gigantic failure on my part to succeed in the past, or find the “right” work for me now. and Of course spiritual practice is going to lead me there, dummy, just do it more and take it very seriously So, these two paradigms pointing in exactly opposite directions, I don’t actually believe either of them. Paradigm 2 is convincing because even when I’m totally alone in the woods, even when I have no work I have to do, even when i am surrounded by people, i still feel like shit. And so while I’m trying to take action to feel better and make a life I like, I’m simultaneously believing that absolutely nothing will do it. I want to add also that I've spent most of the last year saying no to jobs to work on myself and finding inner light, but I'm finding that my inner peace and my flow in my outer life has really gotten worse rather than better.

Deepest gratitude for sharing this song. It's bathing my whole being with bliss and joy.

Sounds like what Eckhart Tolle also had which led him to enlightenment. Because they listen to the conventional system that tells them this state needs to be deemed bad (when in fact it's threatening to the system), And then start loading you with prescription psych drugs that brings them tons of profit. If people live in constant state of bliss, peace, and love, how would the Big Psych/Pharma be makng their billions? Thus brainwashing propaganda. Nothing new.

They probably experienece something else completely different . What you read about those symptoms have nothing to do with that . Looking inward brings peace, bliss, love , liberation until self realization occurs

Most likely it is. I havent been practicing attention on the self for very long and I am almost constantly in bliss all day. Many people practice it wrongly though, they keep asking them self questions and repeating "I am". But in truth what Ramana taught and jnanji yogis practiced is constant attention on the feeling of you "I-feeling" I-sense" Repeating a mantra keeps you in the realm of thoughts.

If i Google my symptoms, i get the results of being depersonalized/dissociative. Thing is it gets noted as something extremely terrifying or unpleasant, which brings anxiety attacks with it and stuff, i'm not experiencing that at all. I'm in fucking bliss that's all. But yea, i'm going to stop explaining stuff because i even find it hard to explain. "I" probably sound like "i'm" just going crazy or something, Lol. "I" even have to remind myself of what a thought/thinking is like at this point.

You are addicted to suffering (so am I) because you haven't experienced the peaceful bliss of present awareness. Once you practise that, all your suffering will gradually vanish. I myself had one moment of awareness (long time ago) where I could clearly see the illusionary nature of suffering. It is so scary what our minds do to us when being unconscious.

I think you are to stuck on the idea of thoughts. You can be enlightned and have no suffering and be in a 24/7 bliss state with thoughts. What more do you want?

I've never done anything like this before and I've never written a trip report, but I had the most beautiful experience and I'd like to share it here... I took 2g of thai cubensis mushrooms dry and in the late afternoon on an empty stomach. Before I ate them, I set my intentions and asked for a good experience. The taste I didn't mind at all; it reminded me of sunflower seeds. I sat on some pillows with my blanket spread out on the floor, incense burning, and began to meditate. I wasn't keeping track of the time for the entirety of this trip, but if I had to guess, I would say about 20 minutes went by before I started to feel...something. I just noticed that things were beginning to take effect and kept meditating. But soon this was almost impossible because I began to giggle. little by little I began to laugh more and more until the idea of being human and being alive became absurd and hilarious to me. I remember seeing faint rainbows on the inside of my eyelids. I then saw what I can only guess was my spirit guide. It was a man in some kind of native spiritual clothing, like what a shaman would wear. I never saw his face, and most of the time I was too giggly to even look up at him, I just remember seeing a white beard and a bright light blocking out his face. It reminded me of my late grandfather. He began to pull back the curtain of reality (that's the best I can describe it) and I began to laugh more, but then he stopped and waited for me to collect myself a bit. Once I was ready the trip hit me and I went...somewhere. I don't remember exactly what happened next, but I remember coming back and being completely unafraid of the whole experience, so I did what anyone would do in that situation and took off the rest of my clothes. I sat there wondering if I was going to be able to keep any food down and eventually got up and had a banana. Best banana I have ever had. I remember enjoying the sensation of having a mouthful of banana, and even just drinking water was something special. I had a weird hot and cold sensation for a while, and I remember coming back to my room and taking the blanket I had on the floor and folding it over myself while I lay there with my knees to my chest, laughing at the absurdity of being human and talking to myself the whole time. I remember coming up with this analogy: the monkeys and the centipede. It was something along the line of all of us are just monkeys that are concerned with our monkey business and it seems like the most important thing in the world to our monkey selves. We sit on a tree in a massive jungle doing whatever; jobs, family, eating bananas nude... but we ignore a giant centipede marching through the jungle. He is life; long and flowing, without care or an agenda. He goes over bumps, but they just ripple down his body, and riding him is pure bliss. Mr. Centipede is so long that you cant see either end, and he's a big silly guy as well. The problem is that the monkeys either don't see him when they are wrapped up in their monkey business, or they try to go under him. The problem with that is that while Mr. Centipede is very silly and blissful, he is to be respected because he WILL trample you and he WILL hurt you because he doesn't stop for any single monkey. Some monkeys try and go under him again and again, swinging into a forest of marching legs on a vine over and over, and on the back swing is when those monkeys start to think that this is all there is to this whole, "life" thing. So I'm sitting there in pure bliss, finally understanding the meaning of what "bliss" actually means and having all sorts of insights on love, relationships, spirituality, and what it means to live. Lying there enjoying the colors I was seeing and feeling the energy of the room when purpose began to hit me. I began to realize things about myself: my groundings, my direction, my values, and my masculine/feminine balance of energy. I was in my true state, I felt, and said to myself that this is how I naturally am without the burden of my egoic clingings. I realized that this state was obtainable without psychedelics, and I realized that I didn't need my addictions; they don't help anyway. I'm a massage therapist, so I work with helping people heal, and I think I want to take it to a level of helping people obtain this bliss through healing and setting the foundation to do so. Finally once I started to come down I set my blanket and pillow back on my bed and began to think about the whole experience. The end of the trip was actually a bit frustrating though. One minute I was sleepy and ready for bed, the next I was up taking a shower. Tired, energetic, tired, energetic, until I was finally able to sleep. I took a few things away from this. First was the monkey/centipede thing. The monkey is the ego, and the centipede is life. The meaning behind it is that in order to build a solid foundation, you have to ride the centipede, and later you realize that there's more than just Mr.Centipede out there; its a whole jungle, and a planet that it's on, and a universe that the planet is in, and so on. The other was sort of finding myself and what it was I wanted. It really opened me up spiritually and helped me just let go and enjoy the flowing bliss of life and all its beauty. I'm definitely going to do mushrooms again, I want to do other psychedelics as well, and I feel more motivated to reach the highest state of consciousness I can than I ever have. It was beautiful...all of it.