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Hi guys, It's been a long time now since I'm working with 5meo dmt but I can't seem to have a proper breakthrough with it, I started slowly around 1 year ago getting freebase and hcl, I went progressively and although I had really great experiences, I can't seem to get to that breakthrough territory, that "Ah-ah" moment or "This is it ! OMG OMG OMG OMG", "INFINITY, that's meeeee!!".. I had the cosmical joke where I laughed like crazy, I had the nothingness where it felt like having no-body or like shutting down a TV then nothing, sometimes I had glimpses of Love even though this one seems to be tough for me like really well hidden, I kinda struggle with self love and I rarely get it from 5 even though it is there, somewhere deep down inside, but no traces of breakthrough and I know what a breakthrough is, I had multiple with nnDMT years ago when I was experimenting with this medicine. I've tried every ROA and rectal looks like the best for me, really gentle and no problems with coughing or having trouble breathing, no driping in the throat etc.. My previous experience was 25mg HCL boofed and it was not that strong even though I thought it was a somehow great dose. I thought I put too much water inside the syringe and I assumed it was because of that. Month(s) passed until today where I really wanted to go for the breakthrough this time, I'm home alone for one week so I decided to go for 30mg (I wanted to do 35 but I stayed on the safe side ). I was ready for deep work, put 0.2 ml of water on the syringe then go for it but it was mild too... Can it come from my batch degrading over time? I've stored it in the zipper for months before storing it in a tiny glass jar but still not perfectly full.. Let's be clear, I still got something from the experience, right now I can still feel it somewhere like maybe I need some grounding after this, but during the experience it was not as strong as 30mg should be. As a comparison, I initiated a friend of mine (really experienced with other psych) and we both went for 23mg snorted and this time it was really strong as it should be. Is it possible to have a different tolerance with rectal administration compared to snorting for instance..? I'm not used to put anything up my ass beside 5meo nor am I used to snort things regularly as a reference but this situation feels weird to me and I'm kinda deceived by the experience I got from today to be honest.

All good and valid points you write and ask. Finally, you have to get there to fully answer that for you. The Absolute is unmistaken. Depends on the definition of Nothingness. Most cases claiming No-Self, or Emptiness, or anything like that is not the full Nothingness, but "something/somebody (quite subtle)" perceiving some "emptiness" or "void". (That something goes from identifying with emptiness instead of the persona to being in nondual Unity with the field and the separate-self having become so empty that it is just a very subtle feeling and nothing else). That is not the true nondual realization or True No-Self. That of course sparks a nightmare of not matching definition. A good pointer to the Absolute is Nothingness in the meaning of not describable in any way (no opposite), which is the same as truly infinite. Some call it Infinity, but that can also be something else. Even before having these realizations in place: There is some logic to the intuition that when there is literally nothing there as separate-anything (no center, lense, feeling of a separate anyting), or in other words impersonal empty and in nondual Unity with the everything arising, then from this boundless nondual Unity the Absolute can be intuited or realized what is beyond that. Because how can one understand what the nondual bubble of the visual field is (or what is beyond it) if it is not already nondual? That beyond is NOT consciousness (of something), because there is nothing there to be consciousness of. Consciousness can arise in IT/Absolute/You when something manifests or moves. And that can be very subtle. It has the capacity for awareness, but only if something arises. That is what he means with the following: He uses here the term Infinite Consciousness as the container of manifestation. It is a question of how to use the terms. I have read Bucklands book, and his term/realization Parabrahman fits nicely to the Absolute. Before that (or a stage below) in his system comes Brahman, or the totality of manifestation, Ken Wilbers upmost lower causal. He wants to avoid that people imagine a dry nothing as the Absolute when using the term Nothingness. Nothingness correctly used as pointer implies this Pure Divinity aspect of Infinite Potential for manifestation. And here he says that Nothingness is not IT. On which I agree, because Nothingness is only a pointer, and used in this way it isn't IT. The Absolute is, as Nagarjuna has already defined it millenia ago in the Madhyamaka totally undefinable, without opposite, always present. So technically, it is not even as Nothingness. And Buckland equates the Absolute with Pure Divinity (another pointer signifier, pointing to a referent that is a realization that a being can have). That is why the pointer Nothingness should be balanced with the pointer Infinite Potential if there is a risk of mistaking it for nothing/emptiness/void. Yet, they are all only pointers (including pure divinity) to the referent. Yes, pretty confusing. Because the terms (like Nothingness, Absolute, Pure Divinity, and so on) are not defined, and used differently by different authors. What all agree on: For the Absolute to be realized the separate-self-arisings need to go/transcended/cut off/ died to on the way there a Nondual Infinite Unity develops including all that is arising (Enlightenments, Awakenings along the path) And from this boundless nondual awakened state the Absolute beyond it can be realized (Full Enlightenment, knowing what one truly is, sudden shift or insight what Reality or oneself truly is. Final, and the rest is relative stuff that can be explored). The Absolute is unchanging, uncreated, timeless, infinite and so on, and contains all the rest of relative manifestation which is in nondual unity with it, and of the same essence. So from there on, it is all relative or manifested stuff. That becomes clear with that realization. And with that realization, one can go live ones life in peace, reorient the invidual body-mind top to bottom to confirm to that realization in daily life, and if one wants go exploring the endless wonders of manifestation or its manifestation mechanisms, or help others, or go grow a beautiful garden. In other words, live pretty happily ever after. Those who have not seen the end of the path as that beyond all changing states need an endless further ladder of higher awakenings/states/experiences/understandings/whatever (and of course proclaiming these as superior to finally getting rid of all the ignorance covering the Absolute/ones True Being) to ease the suffering and grasping. Which in my humble opinion describes the show going on here quite well.

@Water by the River How would you know, you are not mistaken Nothingness for Pure Divinity? I understand that your measuring stick for full enlightenment is the complete falling away of seperate-self arisings (however sublte). This is already the case upon realizing Nothingness. But still, a few teachers manage to go a step further and realize Pure Divinity. To quote David Buckland on Pure Divinity: "It is not easy to describe as it is without form. It is prior to all creation and any distinctions. But it is with a power and potency beyond conception. We discover even infinite consciousness that contains all of creation is but a pale shadow of divinity." In another blog article he writes: "Before awakening, we engage in self development. This is a person getting to know its strengths and limitations and moving towards self-actualization. Most people are oblivious to their own cosmic nature. After awakening and throughout the development of the stages of Self Realization (Cosmic Consciousness) and Unity, the focus shifts to infinite and eternal consciousness. This is discovering our deeper nature and its dynamics. It is consciousness getting to know itself in essence, then in forms and phenomena. And yet, just as the person obscured our deeper nature, the screen of consciousness acts as a covering for what is beyond it. This is just like a movie screen hides the speakers and equipment behind it. When we go beyond consciousness and the subtle duality of Being, we have the chance to recognize the origins of consciousness. We can see how alertness and liveliness stir each other into Consciousness, then Consciousness becomes aware of itself and expression begins. Consciousness becomes its own observer and screen. Beyond consciousness is Nothingness. Nothingness knows itself. We might say Nothingness is conscious but is not self-interacting, just self-knowing. And yet, what is the origin of those core aspects of consciousness? What motivates any experience at all? Nothingness doesn’t answer this. When we settle deeper into Pure Divinity, the source of the source, we come to know the origins of all. And yet Pure Divinity is uncreated. It is sufficient to itself. This latter development is primarily a development of clarity and refinement. We have gone beyond consciousness so cannot know Divinity through that. As with Nothingness, the pure divinity of Pure Divinity can be known only by itself. The first stage of Pure Divinity requires it be recognized in the physiology. We have to be it to know it. This may be experienced subjectively as Divinity moving in to the cosmic body (which would already be recognized as one with the local body, hence experienced “here”). Of course, Divinity was always here but because of the nature of Shakti to flow, the opening can be experienced as flowing in. This is essentially the alertness value of Divinity coming on-line here. We also recognize the flows of consciousness are actually the flows of the Shakti’s of the Divine. In time, there is a dissolution of the sense of a distinct cosmic body. It and the physical form merge into a body of divinity. All become aspects of one totality. In Pure Divinity, Stage 2, I outlined a second stage of this – a deeper embodiment of Divinity in a descent, and a further shift from the Nothingness perspective. This is in the nature of the profoundly networked Shakti and a taste of the self-knowing of Divinity. Stage 3 is like another awakening but vastly more subtle. The shift can be like a quiet click. Then it kicks in. This time, it is liveliness coming on-line, the power of Divinity. This is the power that gives rise to all experiences in all time in all beings in all universes simultaneously. Its potency cannot be over-estimated. When it kicks in, it has a rather large value of intensity that takes longer to adjust to than prior openings. As before, the alertness amps way up in our normal daily experience. The awakeness in deep sleep becomes greater than that of the prior waking state which was already vastly more awake than earlier. I’m not sure how much of this is standard and how much related to the process here. Others are having a similar process but language is tricky in such profound abstraction. There is always variations in emphasis and what is noticed.”

'Open mind' was used as a figure of speech, not to point out that it has anything to do with the mind, but to point towards the possibility that realizing Truth/gaining clarity into your True Nature comes as a process of unfoldment, and although once there has been a certain consciousness established about what is what, there are still aspects that have not been realized when for example pointing out the difference between realizing Nothingness and Pure Divinity. @Osaid @Water by the River I am aware that teachings like Peters go into saying that Truth is already Truth and you either get it (get clarity on) or you don't. But this is just one style of teaching, an artistic choice that makes it seem like gaining clarity is a binary thing (you either become conscious or you don't). On the other hand, you have teachings that emphasize on levels and shifts and walk you through each level of realization until culminating in enlightenment. I am aware that this culmination is nothing that is not the case already now, but nevertheless the whole shebang is usually not revealed in one fell swoop. Hence I was pointing towards the possibility that was has been described as 'Pure Divinity' might still hold the potential to be realized by both of you. A deeper dive into Pure Divinity can be found here. To rephrase the original intention of my post, another quote by LuciaLorn: "Awakening to being the unbounded pure Awareness in which all experience happens is only the beginning, not the end. It's the basic platform upon which Consciousness can begin to unfold the finer, more comprehensive realities of itself. Consciousness shifts to broader and broader perspectives and perceptions of itself as it opens to the greater expanse of its infinite wholeness. It reveals finer, more divine dimensions of itself, which have been right in front of you, in the appearance of the body, surroundings, nature, world and universe all along. From the perspective of Awareness itself, there are no levels. There is only one homogeneous wholeness. The idea of going through different levels or states, to become what you already are, is a joke to Consciousness. It is just another concept and barrier to enlightenment. It is only after Awakening to being pure Awareness itself, that you can begin to appreciate what is really meant by higher levels and states of consciousness. The term "Higher States of Consciousness" refers to the increasingly more expanded perspectives that Consciousness experiences of itself after Awakening to being unbounded pure Awareness. It is not the individual mind that awakens to being pure Awareness, nor is it the individual mind that experiences higher states of Consciousness. It is pure Awareness itself, your real Self, that shifts to broader perspectives of itself and reveals finer perceptions of its own divine fullness. It is not possible to understand, or even imagine, what it is like in these States until they are experienced. The mind cannot comprehend that which is beyond its experience and which words are incapable of expressing. After Awakening, there are unmistakable shifts to even broader perspectives of Consciousness of itself that cannot be missed. Once clearly experienced and firmly established, there is no falling back from them. In each state, Consciousness experiences a wider frame of reference and greater clarity of itself from a completely different perspective. Knowledge, perception and reality are experienced different in each state, even though its basis is always the same one field of unbounded pure Consciousness. Writing about these states of Consciousness is not meant to add more knowledge to your storehouse of concepts. You should know that there are indeed higher states of Consciousness that are simply clearer states of experience of reality as it is. They are revealed in the natural course of the unfoldment of Consciousness to the natural state of full enlightenment."

That quote from Lucia Lorn is spot on. I like the text and her statements. It may seem that Nothingness gets emphasized, but only to avoid any projection of remaining separate-self elements on the Absolute. Which is indeed rampant here. And does cause and will cause more suffering than necessary. For the Absolute, it has a precise definition: Take away all relative manifestation, manifestation of any kind, no arisings at all, and the Absolute is still perfectly "there", like it always is, always was, and ever will be. Timeless, eternal, infinite, the only "thing/non-thing" there is and ever could be, no "other besides" it, One without a second. That is what is fundamental. More fundamental than the relative manifestation, which can be gone. The relative manifestations/arisings arise in in the Absolute as it (nondual, same essence). And if that realization is always available for a being, that is the summum bonum. With Nothingness I don't mean something limited to the fully empty states like Nirvikalpa (Wilber causal states/stages for example, deep sleep, and so on) and so on, but realizing that Infinite Always Here Truth while the world & visual field is there & active and maintaining it while doing so, or True Nondual states. Of course, the Absolute is also present in fully empty states (causal states) by definition (see below). With True Nondual States I don't mean Unity states with separate-self elements still going (these are also already nondual, but with separate-self-elements still going on). But fully empty nondual states, having passed the causal/Nothingness Gate, no separate-self left. Concerning the ring and the gold example: What sense does it make calling/equating the ring (relative manifestation) the "Absolute", which is defined as everpresent and unchanging and always true? The Ring is not always the case! When the Absolute is supposed to be Truth (defined as always the case), it has to be unchanging and always here, never not here. And IT indeed is.... Calling the relative Absolute is technically wrong, because it is not unchanging and always the case. The relative is contained within the Absolute and is of the same essence, like the ring and gold example. Sure that Absolute (or Nothingness or Being or whatever one wants to call it) has potential for awareness/sentience if something arises again, and the potential to manifest that. And infinite intelligence and love, and so on. But first and foremost the Absolute is that which it always is, timeless. And then comes the properties of that which it manifests, and the ways of doing so. When describing gold, we can say it has the potential to form a ring. But first and foremost, it is gold. Most beings already confuse themself with the ring, and can benefit from pointing to the gold. More than being pointed towards how that the ring is made/manifested, which intelligence made it, about other bigger rings, the love for the ring and how other rings are manifested/imagined, n+1. But the gold: That gold which is always eternally the case right here right now, never not been. Which is by the way the textbook definition for Ultimate Truth: Always true or the case. The Relative is not always the case, and therefor not ultimately true. Truth = that which is the case. But to make sure that one really becomes that on a deep identity level shift with no separate-self-elements (ring-elements) still left projecting onto properties of the Absolute (gold), Nothingness is a near perfect term. That is why the Nothingness/empty/impersonal/silent aspect gets emphasized in all meditation traditions, because if that is not realized (or become), one is not what one truly is, but still ignorant with separate-self-arisings blocking the full realization, which makes it impossible to "touch" it and rest in it stable in daily life. So used with that meaning, Nothingness emphasizes these aspects of the Absolute that one needs to fully realize it. Or let the separate-self finally and truly die. That is the price to pay. Which only seems like a price before it happens. If that is refused and belittled, or declared outright non-existant, suffering will go on. Selling Water by the River

@Osaid I think there is no dissonance here, Enlightenment is total clarity about what is already the case. What I'm advocating though, is that there is still greater clarity to realize, beyond the awakening into your nature as Nothingness and to keep an open mind, that this could be the case. That final 'recontextualization' of the present moment will reveal itself as pure divinity, which is was Nothingness has been all along.

I personally wouldn't describe it as nothingness as I also find that term a bit misleading, and I assure you I am not clinging naively to some state of "no imagination" or "lack of thoughts" or some such thing. Enlightenment is just knowing what you are, that's it. You either get it or you don't. And there is no further truths that come after that, because as mentioned before, that creates duality and separates truth from other experiences.

@Water by the River @OsaidIt feels like you two have begun teaching from the place of realization of Nothingness. What you miss imo, is that the awakening to Nothingness is still followed by the awakening to Pure Divinity. If I may quote from the book “The Incredible Reality of You” by LuciaLorn. This is the last chapter of the book, the previous chapter talked extensively about the realization of Nothingness. -------------------------------------------------------------- “- The ultimate miracle - If perception opens to a pivotal point of clarity, another shift in perspective occurs. Nothingness awakens to the true supreme source of infinite power within itself that is the primal motivational force behind Consciousness and all apparent existence. That power source has been disguised in the appearance of existence all along. The sun of divine power that was rising on the horizon of infinity now shines brightly as the pure power source of Supreme Divinity in all its divine radiance and splendor. The ultimate force behind Consciousness (and its divine cosmic Intelligence that appears as the body, world and universe) is revealed, and that indescribable supreme light source of pure Divine Radiance becomes the dominant perspective from that moment on. Beyond existence and nonexistence, hidden deep within the Nothingness, that Supreme Divinity is the initial intention and essential spur to Be. It is the primal cause of everything. It is the original motivating force that drives creation, evolution, destruction, annihilation and recreation. Pure Divinity is the supreme source and cause of all cause and effect, it is eternal and absolute, without beginning or end, it always was and always will be. That supreme power source has been in the thoughts and on the lips of everyone that has ever lived, if only on the level of faith, belief, disbelief or condemnation. It has been theorized in philosophies and sciences and has been universally acknowledged and sought after in all religions and spiritual traditions. It has been called by many names: God, Universal Mother, Divine Mother, that which cannot be uttered, the Supreme Divinity, the Supreme Lord, and so on. Although generally conceptualized by the mind as being a Divine entity, Pure Divinity is an unlimited field of pure divine power beyond all concepts and entities – the power behind Consciousness itself to create, or even conceive of, entities, forms or phenomena. There are no words in any language capable of describing that supreme Divinity. Rare are those who have glimpsed that pure radiant light, more powerful and brilliant than that of millions of suns. There are countless aspects and qualities of divine intelligence responsible for creating and maintaining the appearance of creation. Each one is so exquisitely majestic and divine, that even a glimpse of one of those qualities in its pure divine flow can be overwhelming. Yet, all those qualities combined cannot compare to the ineffable radiance of the eternal, boundless reality of the pure Supreme Divinity that is the ultimate power source, hidden deep within the Nothingness. This pure divine power Source is the generator that sparks the luminescence in the eternal light of unbounded pure Consciousness. It is the initial incentive in the hollowness of the seed of pure Nothingness causing it to sprout into Consciousness and Intelligence, and flower into the appearance of creation. Life is not the miracle. The real miracle is the incredible Supreme Divine Power that gives life, and appears as, all life. It is the cause, the essence and the whole of the sense of Being, the mind and the body, the world and universe, and all existence. It is hidden deep within the alive Presence around you right now. It is the unseen supreme causal energy force of pure Divine Light that appears as your body and everything all around you. It is the incredible Power of Illusion. - The Supreme Power of Illusion – This Supreme Power of Illusion has been disguised as Consciousness, Intelligence, the universe, everyone and everything, all along. Once this perspective has been revealed, there is no going back. It becomes clear that there was never an individual person evolving towards enlightenment. You have been unbounded pure Consciousness unfolding and awakening to the total divine reality of itself through individual and world appearance all along. Consciousness is Consciousness due to the subtle impulse inherent in pure Nothingness to know and to Be. That stimulus is pure Supreme Divinity, the ultimate power source and force creating Consciousness and the universal Intelligence that appears as all existence in the first place. It is the true cause and the supreme source of the source. There is no distinction between Nothingness and its Supreme divine power, just as there is no distinction between God and the will of God. It is one thing. Yet, without that primal pure intention of Divine Will, there would be no Consciousness and no cosmic Intelligence to create and uphold the appearance of creation, and even Nothingness could be not be. The Infinite Silence of pure Nothingness is due to the Infinite Dynamism of pure Divinity. There is no difference between pure Force and pure Silence, yet, remaining as One, pure Force reigns Supreme. The wholeness of non-existence, and all manifest and unmanifest existence, pure Divinity is an unlimited field of the infinite power of Nothingness. Beyond all ideas of He, She or It, the power of pure Divinity is distinctly feminine in character. It is that supreme force that has given birth to everything, including the ability of Nothingness to know itself.”

You can def learn a TON from Ralston, simply his way of thinking, if you can really understand how he thinks and adapt it, you will become 100X more free and effective. I hate to say it, but it may be possible he is missing Universal Love, because he kinda denies it, and if you asked him about Nothingness, he wouldn't deny it. That said, still a ton to learn from him

Can god self reflect on itself as nothing? When I experienced nothingness I could not or had no idea how to self reflect.i was just pouting for eternity. If God can't self reflect it is nothing. It could have been i was not concious of God and therefore couldn't see how to self reflect as God but from my experience as nothing it cannot self reflect. If you cannot self reflect you do not exist you are existence and if existence is nothing you are nothing. Yes when I'm able to self reflect I can look back and say I was there but if there is no self reflection I cannot, i am just there when I am there. Unless I'm concious of God in that moment. This would mean death and the end of life as something permanently stops if you are not concious of God while dead. You would remain as nothing forever until you somehow raise yourself up from purgatory unconsciously.

Lol..ok. Now I get it. It used to happen to me, and since I awakened (you know what I mean, got into this stuff), I used to ask myself I wonder if that was the nothingness, the void or our true nature. I asked myself that all the time but wasn't sure.

Babushka dolls are quite impressive when it comes to an analogy of self improvement: Your ego gets smaller as you grow, until you reach nothingness

@Loveeee infinite will doesn't happen in human body out of love, but yes i have manifested things to some extent and have tested this. Time becomes almost non moving, there is only presence. I have manifested infinite milk/juice, manifested the appearance of objects in perfect/broken state, manifested the change of my appearance and much more. The thing is, ones you deconstruct god/reality enough while being in your ego body memory becomes imaginary, meaning your memory becomes nothingness and because of this you also become nothingness because you don't fully know what you are and try to control the nothingness=objects/environment it becomes a dangerous territory because you're trying to take over the flow/god which can make your ego kill itself/get stuck in some form of consciousness like hell and so on. When you start forgetting your ego body, you enter the mental world in this mental world you can manifest whatever you want when you try to take control, For example you can manifest a spiritual world with all the characters/living beings in it and then put your consciousness pov inside the character and you can even forget yourself in it , while in this character the world will manifest around you. But when you're in the mental world , you start fighting against yourself because you realize all is you and you're the only one. When you accept yourself fully as god, there is peace/harmony/love and you're in peace dreaming while being awake. But when you try to control things and try to understand what you are, you start making worlds/manifesting things and try to escape, this is the reason jesus said you're already in heaven.

Exactly, if they would live in a higher state of consciousness for 1 day and experience the insanity they would cry and beg god to come back to ego life. If they deconstruct reality to some extent and become the most conscious being on earth, the responsibility that will come with that will make them bedridden and they will dream themselves away. Everything is, how it's supposed to be. The thing is, ones you deconstruct reality enough you're totally on your own and nobody can help you. Consciousness is nothingness and memory becomes nothingness, ones you try to take over the gods flow because you had the realization that you're god it will go downwards and you will see how dangerous freewill/decisions can be in nothingness. I like the NDE video you posted, and i see lots of connections/truth in it. I hope that it will always be like that regarding god, and that there will always be someone that is more conscious then you. MEaning reaching god kind of level, but never to be god - is the only way

@jdc7733 What I’ve experienced so far is phenomenon of imperceptible size, such that it could very well be finite, but I’m not aware of where its limits lie. In these states, the duality between nothingness and somethingness collapses and these things become metaphysically identical. Obviously, these states are very strange and difficult to describe using ordinary language. One time, I experienced a different but related state where the very properties of size and quantity either ceased to exist completely or just became unintelligible. I know from my intuition and other’s reports that psychedelic experiences can be much stronger and stranger than this. So I can’t see why someone in principle couldn’t have a truly infinite experience. However, your post does raise the tricky metaphysical question of how someone could actually know if their experience was infinite. Can infinity be cleanly distinguished from finitude? Could a finite experience merely seem infinite? Or would an experience of infinity be tautologically self-evident in a way that I can’t understand from my current perspective? Maybe the real answer is that whatever it is we’re actually dealing with here lies so far beyond the understandable meaning of these terms that the distinction becomes irrelevant.

Hello, Regardless of your beliefs on the topics of Astrology, Human Design and Gene Keys... I study all 3 of these modalities on a deep level, as this is what I do for a living. I also study many other metaphysical type topics and philosophy. I am writing this because I want feedback on a particular aspect of Human Design that I have come across. Don't worry, you don't need to believe in it or take part in it in order to chime in on this conversation. I do however, feel like I need to give a bit of background information in order to ask my question. So, Human Design is a combination of the zodiac wheel with all of the 64 I-ching laid out across the zodiac. Ra (the creator of human design) also took the whole wheel and split it into 4 pieces. These pieces represent how a person can awaken. I found mine to be very true. I am in the first quarter of the "Mind" and I would say that watching Leo's videos 5 years ago and on, was a huge part of my awakening process... I know this was helpful to me, because I needed someone to play mental gymnastics with my mind until it broke into an orgasmic splendor of everythingness and nothingness at the same time. Haha. But in my work, I have noticed that the same mental gymnastics that I enjoy playing around in, pushes others away from the truth. Anywho... here are the 4 quarters. Which quarter do you feel best describes how you awoken? If you want to give me your birth date too for data research, that would be cool, but totally not required. YANG/YIN In the Quarter of Initiation (Gates 13-24), we have the theme of Purpose fulfilled through Mind. The foundation here is set by the Gate of the Listener, “the Fellowship of Man”—Yang (spirit) pushing upward into Yin (form). When we activate all the gates of this Quarter we see that the only definition in the bodygraph would be the Channel of Initiation. Those whose Personality Sun is in the Quarter of Initiation are here to wake up first. They are initiated through the development of Mind, and, in turn, initiate others according to the nature of their particular Cross and Profile. YIN/YIN In the Quarter of Civilization (Gates 2-33), we have the theme of Purpose fulfilled through Form—through manifesting. The foundation here is set by the most Yin hexagram of all, the Gate of the Direction of the Self, “the Receptive”—therefore it is Yin over Yin. When we activate all the gates of this Quarter we see that there would be no definition in the bodygraph and that all 11 Throat gates are present. This is the world of manifestation, where mind is concretized into form. YIN/YANG In the Quarter of Duality (Gates 7-44), we have the theme of Purpose fulfilled through Bonding. The foundation here is set by the Gate of the Role of the Self in Interaction, “the Army”—the Yin/Yang. When we activate all of the gates in this Quarter we see that this forms three channels bringing definition to the bodygraph, creating the only pure emotional Generator through the Channel of Mating, along with the Channel of Discovery and the Channel of Abstraction. This is the world of fertility and bonding—your relationships with others. YANG/YANG In the Quarter of Mutation (Gates 1-19), we have the theme of Purpose fulfilled through Transformation. The foundation here is set by the Gate of the Expression of the Self “the Creative”—of course, Yang/Yang. When we activate all the gates in this Quarter we have only one definition, the pure Generator with the Channel of Exploration. This is the world where anything can happen—it’s about the process of living (like the rest of the wheel is) but here it is also about the process of transformation and accepting death.

Okay so continuation from last thread of mine potential GF slay . So one of my thinking points is that if she moves from America back to me in ye old England (giving up the chance to live in America) , she will naturally be conditioned with amazing frames/ principles for life from being with me . List of some examples : -Starts wanting to sort out the unidealistic/ unconscious/ dysfunctional parts of life and has an attitude to work on these -is eventually led to understanding her spiritual experiences , see the very below -has an easy discipline attitude -has an example of a system of how to go about permeant change, and also the mistakes in going about it -Has an attitude for a healthy body and a healthy way of living -has an attitude to have some sort of purpose in life, -being more of a future/ self thinker, asking lots and lots of questions and having a pure sense of responsibility and independence Questions for all you Leo fan girls... From your experience - Have you had a gf/bf where they have adopted your very positive thinking patterns overtime, and did it positively effect them when you broke up or didn't ? -if she ends up not being similar to me in terms of not working on herself and building her life , have you had a similar situation and has that value dealignment been a deal breaker? Also just a very casual mention , if this is what I think it is, then she's the biggest spiritual baddie I've ever met , she contemplates the nature of reality and the many possibilities and her life every other day just by her pure unmolested nature, to the point where she has an existential crisis which leads her to experience absolute nothingness on a regular basis, which if I am not tripping is what Leo calls absolute infinity , and the Vedas say is 'the final solvent, sorry, the ultimate solvent into which somethingness finally dissolves , pinch me

Hey everybody, I hope you're doing fine. 4 days ago I had my first MDMA experience. 200mg of pure MDMA (+75mg after 4 hours). It was a really beautiful experience. Very healing. After working through a lot of personal stuff I felt the desire to go deeper into the transpersonal realm. I've crafted 5-MeO-DMT Vape Pens a few weeks before, but I've only played around with them in the lower doses (1:12 or 1:4 solution strength). But now in the MDMA experience, I felt ready to go all the way. I've heard about this combination before. Most of the community is just not sure as there's just not enough data. There's very little information online and the perspectives vastly differ. I heard Rick Doblin talking about it at a psychedelic conference and he said it was a wonderful idea and a wonderful experience. And I've read in James Oroc´s “ Tryptamine Palace” that this combination should be avoided as it had resulted in negative experiences that appeared similar in character to an overdose of tryptamines alone. But in my state I was sure that this was the right choice in the moment. I went in three times. First experience with one long-hit of the 1:1 vape pen ( should have been around ~8mg). It was a beautiful, sacred, very intense experience. but I felt there was more. So I went in a second time after a few minutes had passed. this time I went with two long hits ( so probably around ~15mg) This experience was absolutely stunning. A very clear glimpse of Enlightenment. God realization. Satori. I felt complete and whole. It is very nice to start out from the loving space of the MDMA into the 5-MeO-DMT. There's very little fear (or no at all). And after you come out of the 5-MeO-DMT experience you land into the loving space of the MDMA. Still, remembering my first and only 5-MeO-DMT Breakthrough experience, I felt a subtle desire to go all the way. from conscious god realization to Infinite nothingness. Complete annihilation of existence back into source. So after waiting for around two hours (and taking the 75mg MDMA re-dose) I went back in for the third time. I was taking three big hits (~20mg of 5-MeO-DMT) and was expecting to jump into the Nothingness. It was a very intense experience, hard to put into words. a little bit emotionally challenging at the end. definitely not full annihilation of consciousness. There was something happening, but I couldn't really grasp what it was. Coming out of the experience I was a little bit confused but still fine. I was feeling like it was a successful session, with a lot of valuable insights. The day after I had a really really heavy headache. ( also just getting two hours of sleep). I was taking a lot of Vitamin C ( maybe a little bit too much) and a 5-HTP supplement to prevent the damage and common low known from the MDMA. The headache went on for the whole day and my social battery was kind of low. ( I was arriving at a mini-festival). The two following days at the festival were fine. I was able to talk, give a workshop about psychedelics, get enough sleep and have a little bit of fun. ( I didn't take any other substances at this time). While having a long drive home, I was feeling that something was a little bit different. My state was not quite at baseline. I thought: “ well maybe I just touched a little bit of acid and that is the reason why I feel a little bit off”. After five hours of driving I arrived home and felt a little bit sick. I thought maybe the week was just a little bit hectic, with all the traveling and socializing. And I went to sleep. Today ( 4 days after the MDMA + 5-MeO DMT experiences) I woke up and still felt a little bit different. I feel healthy. But definitely not at baseline. Now that I'm alone I can actually notice what is going on in my perception. And I assume that it is coming from this experience. This is where I asked for your advice: How do I integrate this experience and what steps are reasonable to take? I feel a little bit all over the place. Not fully at ease. There are significant mood swings. A subtle sense of anxiety that I haven't experienced before. A slight visual distortion in my perception. Noticable vibrations in my body and heart. And as I have never had such long term, persistent effects from psychedelics, a little fear: -Did I somehow damage my brain? ( I don't know much about serotonin syndrome, or certain cardiovascular reactions, but these topics just jump into my mind). -Do I just give it some time and take it easy? When is the right time to seek out professional help or a doctor? Do you have any practices that can be very useful for grounding? Today I tried a long meditation, breathwork, going to the gym, a long cold shower, and all these things seem to help but only in the moment. Also an interesting site note: I still fall back into the “ chewing” of the MDMA. Not as intense as in the journey, but still noticeable. In the experience itself I was chewing so much that I injured the inner side of my lips and it's very hard for me to eat hard food. It's very interesting to observe this whole process and to write the waves of this period of integration. We open ourselves up to these kinds of experiences and dimensions when we explore deeper and deeper and sometimes even mix certain substances. Safe journeys everybody.

If that's a stable state, that could be the first stage of nondual awakening. The center point is gone, and there sort of a localized emptiness, like a ball of nothingness. There is still an idea of "me" though, it's just not the old idea. Once the idea of "me" is seen as a social fiction, that's enlightenment.

Yes it's possible to not return back to your body, it will be like sleep. When you start sleeping you might get a remembrance of who you're actually are if you don't resist your memory will be wiped of who you were as an ego. Then you won't have any remembrance how to get back. Consciousness is fluid, memory in the nothingness state comes and go's. _______________________________________ Your reality can also be altered forever when you're in the ego because you deconstructed reality enough , you will stay and keep living in the same conditions it's like developing a mental illness. But mental illness is not an illness it's just your consciousness stuck in certain understanding low or high etc @bmcnicho

It is to drop the self into nothingness. stop wanting and fearing, even for a few seconds. we are constantly controlling, interpreting, grasping reality. It is all illusion, we are not in control of anything, but the appearance of control allows us to have the illusion of standing on solid ground. It's not real, we're in the infinite now. this is existence existing and the controlling self is an illusion. it is seized, contracted, controlling every second, surrounding every instant with a capsule of mental flow, but this control is only illusory. Surrender is redundant because you're really already surrended. You just have to surrender a lie, the illusion that you control this moment with your mind, and open yourself now to the infinity that this moment is.

@Princess ArabiaMemory is nothingness and temporary, for example: You go to sleep and one day you deconstruct reality to a point that the reality itself changes to the realizations you have had. These realizations and your memory of it gives you a new reality based on what you truly have witnessed and seen in the nothingness (nothingness is where reality creation happens and you can take it with you same as meditation - you create vibration in meditation and send it to your physical body and then feel it for example) In your wakeful state you can be stuck based on the realizations you have had, basically stuck in a state of consciousness. Because the realizations/states are illusionary you might never find your way back, and you won't have any memory/realizations how you did it or how it happend. The only thing is to love yourself, accept yourself and let it be don't fuck around with god realization. God realization is truly a dangerous area

Yes. That is what I can confirm, and that sequence one can also find in every spiritual tradition. The bold parts of your text are excellent. Welcome home to a home you never left. What was your practice/path? The normal sequence is: 1. Practice (or just Karma/"luck". But I would estimate from what I have seen that for 90% it was practice). Efficient way: Meditation + psychedelics + integration work + many other things. 2. Many Awakenings (some traditions already call these Enlightenments)/ into stabilizing awakened nondual and empty/impersonal Awareness states: Into all these aspects (some aspects of Absolute Reality show up, like emptiness or nondual unity, love, timelessness, Infinity, and so on... But the separate-self is STILL yet not fully seen through). The separate-self gets more and more transcended, ones identity more and more empty and more like Pure Awareness, and then it gets nondual/unity with the whole visual field/manifestation. These Awakenings (field getting nondual and ones identity more and more just empty awareness) are normally caused by the practice that makes accident-prone. And then comes the accident that is called Enlightenment (that can't be willed, since that would be a spearate-self wanting that which is already the case, and by doing that covering it), and for which practice makes accident-prone. Enlightenment tends to happen for most only in very specific Awakened States (nondual/unity AND impersonal/empty). For that, I have written elsewhere (Mahamudra stage 3 (Awakened states of nondual and empty) "One Taste-Yoga" to Mahamudra stage 4 (stabilizing these states without doing anything) "Yoga of Nonmeditation). Bliss: These awakened states are already very blissful without needing external experience for that. 3. (Full/Basis/Great) Enlightenment into the True Nature of Oneself: Infinite Reality = Infinite limitless Impersonal and totally Empty Consciousness CONTAINING Infinite Manifestation, in an infinite Unity/Totality. The essence of every appearance/manifestation is the same Suchness as Infinite Consciousness/Awareness. A deep identity level shift, away from a separate-self to being aware that "one" is and always was the Totality/Infinite Reality/Infinite Impersonal Consciousness. Phase 2 is gradual(!), Phase 3 (Shift of Full Enlightenment) is a sudden and complete understanding into the eternal and immortal nature/essence of all of Reality (limitless) and ones True Self (Awareness/Nothingness containing all manifestation). It can not be mistaken, is sure, doesn't need any external validation (understanding it by being it, and IT is infinite/all there is and can be). It is totally beyond "any further" and beyond any need for any confirmation. It is self-evident. This insight/understanding/realization is "more assured/ultimately assured" (beyond any chance for being shaken again) because anything else can only possibly just be more phenomenal arising (including any sensory-arising like visual arisings, but also including any other (I-)thoughts/concepts/I-feelings/n+1). Why? To quote Ralston: IT IS YOU. Infinite Consciousness containg any possible appearances. Limitless. Infinite. Any limit would appear in IT. Empty. Any arising (tree, thought, I-feeling, anything) appears IN IT. Impersonal (onself can be nothing specific or personal, since one contains it all). And its Pure Awareness (without any location, without any second) itself. Potentially unaware if nothing arises. But always right here, never can not not be here, independent of whatever happens/appears IN IT. It is waking up. Its essence is understanding that the separate-self as independent "anything" DOESN'T exist (just appears as illusion IN THAT), and never existed (was always an illusion), and can/will never exist (even if in another life illusions-arisings will occure again in ones True Being/Reality. The Awakenings (2) are insights/understandings into aspects/properties of the nature of Reality/True Self/Infinite Consciousness. That then evolves, towards nondual/unity awakened states. And THEN the final big shift of full Enligthenment can happen, in which the nature of Infinite Reality/Ones True Identity as Impersonal Infinite Consciousness/Infinite Reality is revealed. 4. Stabiling this Enlightenment, and letting it reorient the character top-down and back again towards love/openness/staying in nondual impersonal Suchness ("BEING the Totality"). Even then still, the separate-self character can still hijack the show (peak, plateau, permanent), but the separate-self-character and its associated suffering has lost its mirage-like seductive power. Its essence (Suchness/Infinite consciousness) is immediately seen when feeling into it. And that holds true for all building blocks of the separate self. So lapsing after Enlightenment is just a hang-over from a long time of illusion , and once noticed any emerging separate-self-arisings can be killed/transcended by just looking into it. Bliss: A lot and growing, since the awakened states now get even more stabilized and are always accessible. When True Nature is known, and if the separate-self-character "hijacks" again the show: Just look into these arisings and realize again their essence as manifestation IN the Infinite Reality/Consciousness that one really is, and return to what one really is. While after (only) Awakening(s) (stage 2), certain elements of the separate-self-character are not seen fully through, or are NOT understood. One of the last stages is a very nebulous empty separate-"something" that is already in nondual unity with everything manifesting. But there is still an "Understander" or "a not yet fully understander" or some "seeker" -arisings there.... Roger Thisdell stage 4 vs. stage 5. Stage 4: stage 5: Maybe that is helpful for some. Please don't beat me. Selling Water by the River

Yes. Just to reiterate, my point is not something as naive as "thoughts are untrue" or "nothingness is the truest state." I'm saying there is a clarity of perception you can achieve (truth/enlightenment/self-realization), which prevents you from being metaphysically "tricked" by thoughts or any other experience ever again in terms of perception. It's not a specific state. It's a realization of what reality is and how it fundamentally works, that goes into all other states and exists in all other states, because it is absolutely true. I think the point that might be confusing you is the idea that experience cannot be thought of, which I still agree with. These posts might expand on that point more clearly:

My understanding is that God is not a thing. (Aka God is nothingness) So living as God means you become nothing.