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There is life after 'awakening' though.... once we are at peace with just being, observing the unfolding and in acceptance, we can interact with our life intentionally without attachment to it. In this presence of being is the genuine expression of fulfillment and enjoyment, the monk can come out of the cave and walk their bliss in life.

@saint_charming7 Great question. I think only you could know. If there are things to let go of, or a spaciousness you favor increasing, or resistant thoughts in the mix, then stay strong on the meditation. If you’re filled with joy and bliss, excited and ready, unfolding the steps of your LP, then skip it and get to enjoying the serendipity of your day - but if you suspect the ego is tricking you as to which, then it is.

Your story is almost mine TC! Read the same book, did a slightly less extreme dietary change and don't experience hours of ego free bliss like you did walking the dog but every day I get a few moments of pure "now", and those moments are growing in size and frequency. Intermittent fasting brings on other challengers but I find it and low carbs lots of nuts brings out even more connection with the now, but it can be hard to schedule. Modern food is poison, most people need to do a detox to develop the sensitivity to feel it for themselves. It's akin to everyone being a heroin addict so they cannot feel how a less damaging and poweful drug is bad for them. That same person sober for a decade would feel a sugar free black coffee with a half tea spoon of sugar, no way a heroin addict can feel the damaging effects of half a tea spoon of sugar but it's definitely there.

*My awakening experience seems to have a direct correlation with my dietary changes to 100% raw vegan with no cheating. I thought it would be more appropriate to post here since it's about my direct experience. I have currently been 100% for about 1 1/2 months now. I just wanted share my awakening journey to help inspire those around me. I was divinely guided by the spirit world to go raw vegan fruitarian for many years. I did it once before a few years ago and I was raw vegan for 6 months and I reversed my ovarian cysts. I finally took the plunge a month and half ago and it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. My depression is diminishing and I’m currently going through a spiritual detox. My thinking, logic and my spiritual connection has strengthened and improved. Old painful memories from the past are coming up in my dreams and I’m being given the opportunity to heal so I can create new abundance in my life. On day 28 of my new diet I had an awakening experience. I was out walking my friend’s dog and my monkey mind shut off for about three hours. Consciousness was experienced and realization of the truth...awareness. Things were complete, whole and at peace. Utter bliss. Problems, stress, worries created by the ego were gone. There was nothingness, and this nothingness gave satisfaction and fulfillment that can not be fulfilled or found through seeking outer experiences. Things were experienced, seen, felt, heard but without expressing opinion or emotion (ego). The ego was gone. The dog would bark at random strangers and the ego would normally get annoyed, but as awareness it was noticed without judgement, emotional output and with indifference. The dog can choose to have it's own experience. Awareness is connected and shared as all one consciousness...it is harmony and it is peace. And that awareness loves and accepts the dog for what it is regardless of it's circumstances. I also wanted to add this.......I (the ego) has been struggling for a long time to find and discover a life purpose. And after having this consciousness experience the spirit world led me to this book by Eckert Tolle called “ A new earth. Awakening your true life purpose.” I knew for a long time the importance of the law of attraction and manifesting your desires but I felt a gut feeling in my stomach that this wasn’t the whole basis of our existence. Something wasn’t right. Yes it is nice to manifest your own reality but I could see as I was cleansing from this detox that my emotions and desires could change instantly at any moment. I also knew that just because you want something and you manifest with the law of attraction it doesn’t mean it will make you happy and fulfill your life. Our ego is a bottomless pit that can never be completely satisfied and is always craving more.... dwelling on the past, and looking too far into the future. When the truth is the present is only thing here to experience and that exists. It is to be appreciated and enjoyed. We are always seeking to fill these gaps and these fears with relationships, addictions, food, money, etc. I was doing this with romantic relationships...I thought I was seeking love but I was really craving an attachment..which isn’t healthy and low vibration. True happiness and success comes from within. I discovered in this new book and through my direct experience that we have two life purposes, an inner purpose and an outer purpose, that are intertwined with each other. The inner purpose ( the primary purpose for everyone) is to become awakened/enlightened to who you really are, consciousness, to get rid of the ego....the end of all suffering. Once you know you are consciousness you can use the law of attraction to manifest abundance but from the right vibration and perspective for your outer purpose. The outer purpose can always change, and be altered, but the inner purpose remains the same. A lot of this may not make sense to you unless you have directly experienced consciousness, the infinite, nothingness, all that is.

@Markus this is what I’m talking about, it just seems so unbelievable how he went from one day a deep depression to the next day enlightened and in a deep bliss. It just doesn’t make any sense and it just seems that he’s talking about enlightenment without actually being the real thing. Id rather gain enlightenment by working hard for it, meaning I’ve achieved it and I’m happy about the path I lead to get there.

So I had my first psychedelic experience with about 100-110µg LSD during easter. Unfortunately I didn't meet the easter bunny or Hitler riding a flying mat during my trip but this was by far the most mind blowing experience of my life, I have never ever gotten so much information in such a short time. Set: I started my day by meditating for 90 minutes, I exercise a little bit and eating some fruits and having a cup of caffeine free coffee for breakfast. After that I take a short walk in nature, everything is okay and I wear a huge smile on my face because that's what I like to do. After that I meet up with a guy who was supposed to trip sit me but we decided that I am in this all alone the day before. We talk a little bit and he helps me set up a schedule for what to do during my trip. After a while I put my tab in my tongue and send him away. We hug each other and I start crying like hell, when he leaves I go back to my room and start to reflect on my life while crying like a little baby. After I am done crying I lay down on the floor and start dropping into a samadhi-like state. The LSD starts kicking in about 10 minutes later... Setting: I am home alone inside my room. I have cleaned up all the stuff so It's all grey. In the middle of the room I have a place to meditate/lay down on the floor and I have a chair in front of my window which shows me the nature in my backyard and a bed to lay down in if I feel it. I have about 3 liters of water and a bowl of bananas, pears, clementines and dates. The trip: About 30 minutes after I have taken the acid I start hearing this weird sound, it almost feels like I have tinnitus. It feels like I have been meditating like hell, like that time I lived in a Zen monastery and after a few minutes my visual field starts feeling a bit strange. At this point I walk over to my chair and I sit down to look at nature while getting used to the acid kicking in. After a while something starts feeling really really weird, it's something I have never really felt before. I start crying, can it be love? It was love... I start getting flashbacks from my early childhood, somewhere between the age of 5 and 10, the way my family brought me up and the way I was treated in school and everything just start clicking. I realize that I never got any real love, empathy and understanding from anyone growing up, not by my parents, not my my teachers and not by my classmates. It was just a game of masks and hats that they peer pressured me into. If you don't join you are the devil himself. I'm almost speechless... "LOVE! IT'S LOVE! HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S LOVE! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ACTUALLY LOVE!" At this point I get out of the chair to grab a pink blanket and I sit down on my bed and sweep the blanket over my self. As my body gets covered with the blanket I fully accept myself for the first time in my life. I cry tears of love, compassion and love for myself and all the shit I went trough as a child. "LOVE LOVE LOVE! SO FULL OF HATE... SO MUCH HATE..." I grab a piece of paper to write "LOVE! <3" to myself keep that note nearby for the rest of the trip. Everything was a fucking lie... All the shit that I was taught by my family and school was all bullshit. My family is not any different than all the weird cults that exists in the world. They broke down my individuality while providing me with food, clothes and all the physical stuff that you need to survive. If you start suspecting that something is off or stand up for your individuality the cult leader belittles you and threatens to remove the shit that the cult made you addicted to. No one loved me but at this point none of that doesn't matter because I love myself. All of this wasn't my fault after all, I wasn't crazy... I bask around in this overwhelming love for a while but after a while I get on with the trip. I lie down on the floor and everything seems to get more intense at this point, no crazy insights or anything like that. Everything just feels more intense and the visuals starts to take over the room more and more and I lie down for about and hour I think. I take a short break, eat some fruits, drink some water while preparing for some music. I've basically worked trough all my childhood wounds at this part but little did I know that things are to get a whole hell of a lot stranger. I've prepared to listen to a combination of Aurora and Enya during this part of the trip. I sit down in my chair to stare at nature and I put on "Caribbean Blue" by Enya and as soon as I hear Enyas voice I'm hit by a storm of bliss. I start laughing out loud. Everything is so silly, everything is just a dream. Everything is gone... "NOTHING IS FOR REAL! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! NOTHING IS REAL! EVERYTHING IS JUST A DREAM!" Everything is fucking gone... Reality was just an illusion after all, all thoughts, all ideologies, all philosophies and all the stuff "out there" is nothing else than a hallucination. I can see all the roles I've played throughout my entire life and I just laugh at myself while facepalming over and over again. "THE OSCAR FOR THE BEST ACTOR GOES TO...ME!" I'm so fucking fake holy fucking shit. I've played so many roles just because I didn't want to seem weird in other peoples eyes. "IT'S ALL GONE! NONE OF THIS SHIT IS REAL! TIME, SPACE, OTHERS, PROBLEMS... NON OF THIS IS REAL! EVERYTHING IS JUST A DREAM!" During the rest of the trip I kept on yelling "HOLY FUCKING SHIT NOTHING IS REAL" at least once per minute... I keep on doing like this for a while and when Auroras music starts playing I just give myself all the compassion, understanding and love I've wanted "others" to give me for the last 15 years. Everyone is insane, me too, we are just a bunch of monkeys in suits who thinks that we understand the universe. None of this has any meaning in reality what so ever. Caring about what people thinks of me seems so absurd and I just keep facepalming myself for a while. This is where I start talking to three stones that lies on my desk about all my relationship problems, it goes pretty well and things get a lot clearer. I'm just an actor and all of my past relationships has been based on taking the actor seriously. I'M SOOOOOOO DELUSIONAL... After a while I start walking around in my house while reflecting about all the abuse that my parents has put me trough during the years. It's like I can watch my problems in a 3rd person perspective without any defenses. From this perspective I can see that my parents have been SOOOO fucking bad. Like WTF?!?! My dad fucking hit me for laughing once. This is crazy...He has beaten me so many times... And my mom just watched. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?" My mom just broke down my self-esteem in awful ways instead of beating me. Loving myself and living here at the same time seems absurd. My family just filled my mind with crap. "EVERYTHING IS GONE! REALITY DOESN'T EXIST! MY PARENTS DOESN'T EXIST! EVERYTHING THEY MADE ME BELIVE ABOUT REALITY AND MYSELF WAS BULLSHIT! I CREATED THE WHOLE THING! THANK GOD! HURRAY!" I also met this snakelike woman, we stared into each others eyes and made some sort of silent agreement. The guy who helped me preparing fpr this trip told me that it as a sign of my first love(not the romantic one). That's pretty much the best part of the trip but there isn't much more insightful and I just chill, sit down and contemplate stuff. After about 8 hours into the trip I take a walk in nature, the sun has set but there is still some light. I walked to a river I usually cross, I stare at the stars and then BAM! A WILD NORTHERN LIGHT APPEARS! Northern lights in LSD looks pretty damn cool but it's not that big and it disappears pretty fast and I start to walk home usually when I walk in nature during the evening/night I have a tendency to get scared of the dark, especially when there is just about 50 meters of dark forest left. I begin to panic a little bit but then I started to dance a little bit while singing some weird african like song and I manage to save myself from freaking out big time and I am able to walk to my house without any problems. After this part of the trip everything feels pretty much done, I've gotten by far more information than i expected. I basically start integrating the trip while tripping, I just sit and contemplate for about two hours about what this trip is going to change me. I feel a strange sound in my ear, almost like someone pulls out a plug from my ear and after than my trip is done, it lasted exactly twelve hours. I keep whispering "Herre fucking jävlar! Inget är på riktigt"(Holy fucking shit! Nothing is real!" in swedish). I had some problems with my femoral nerve and while sitting for such a long time my nerves hurt like hell. I never take painkillers but I had to do so to get some sleep. Integration: I wake up in the morning feeling SOOOO FUCKING DONE. I walk around in my house a little bit and after a while I start crying tears of joy. I realize that my biggest wound is basically gone. "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!!??! EVERYTHING IS FUCKING GONE?!?!!??!??" I start feeling a desire to help people recover from abusive relationships, I've felt it before but not as clearly. The day is spent doing nothing at all. It's like having a hangover from seeing that everything is meaningless. I stare at the meaninglessness of life. I feel like an emotional wreck. I have never felt anything so intensely like I did the day before so no wonder I'm so fucking done. The results: I was able to see how insane I am and how sane I have been after all. I was able to see that my parents and the people at school treated me like shit and that I've hated myself for my entire life. I stared it all in the face... -My self-esteem is not as depentendent on what I DO but how I AM -My fear of conflict looks WAYYYY better. When I started meditating, quit video games, quit drinking and smoking and all of that stuff I was able to see how much better I felt and how much clearly you see reality while living consciously. I started to express my feelings and talking about how living consciously is so important and I ended up as a weird loner. I got brainwashed into believing that taking care of your body and mind is stupid and selfish and since I started to develop myself I have been ashamed of it at the same time. Expressing your feelings as a man in Sweden isn't always the norm so my family and friends didn't react really well to it. Now I can see that it was THEIR PROBLEM and not mine. The problem I HAD/HAVE was seeking approval from the "outer world". I even confronted my dad about the fact that he used to beat me when I was younger. I mean what the fuck? Once he hit me because I laughed at him dropping a dish brush. That's abuse and there is no need to deny that. -I don't care as much about what others think about me. I'm not as reactive as I used to be. Everyone is fucking stupid, me too... We are just a bunch of monkeys wearing a bunch of clothes and masks while thinking that we understand the universe. Why the fuck should your self worth depend on what a bunch of ideological chimps thinks of you? -I don't take myself so seriously. I don't have a problem being silly with other people anymore. It's so fucking easy to connect with other people while not worrying about this "I AM GOOD ENOUGH" persona. I'm really fucking stupid and that is okay. It can be really hard to look at your flaws when you always have to be perfect. I feel more clown like and more naked at the same time. -I feel more responsible for my life, I can see that I REALLY have to leave my home without ever looking back in a few months . It feels pretty harsh because everyone in my town seems to have a family to depend to after they quit school. I won't really have that anymore. I have to become 100% independent from them but that's fine to be honest. -Meditating feels way smoother -It feels like all of this cultural crap is gone, thank god... -I can finally accept myself. I tend to sweep that pink blanket over myself at least once per day nowadays . -I feel more drawn to monastic life again -I feel more drawn to connecting to people -LOADS OF EMPATHY!!! -Closure -ALL THE LADIES LOOK REALLY GOOD! This is by far the best experience I've ever had. This idea that psychedelics used properly can be like 10 years of psychotherapy is not a joke. Discovering all of this shit by therapy and journaling would have taken my years. I can't believe how I managed to suppress so much shit during my lifetime. I've been a scared little baby for 15 years. It's really insane... INTERNET HUGS FOR EVERYONE! <3

@RawJudah I was recently watching a video I rented from the library by Eckhart Tolle where he was talking about his enlightenment experience. I also read in his book "The New Earth, Awakening your True Life Purpose," that he had depression after his first awakening experience for a few years and was on the brink of suicide. This book has really been helping with the awakening process as I'm learning to differentiate between the ego and my true self, awareness. Transcendental Meditation or aka TM mediation says enlightenment is a natural, normal thing. From what I read in Eckhart Tolle's books he was realizing some things logically in his mind about emotions and thoughts as he interacted with people. He was understanding what the ego was and that it wasn't who he really was. Enlightenment isn't one experience and everything is done...it's a process, a transition. And once it is experienced it is hard to go back to everyday life knowing the truth. The book is worth reading and is said to help the transition process. A few weeks ago I had a brush with Consciousness, the infinite, nothingness. It was great. The monkey mind shut off for three hours and was just directly experiencing everything. There was wholeness, completeness, bliss, peace. ... Yet nothing can compare to this experience... No outer experience or life purpose could ever fulfill that need. It's all inner. This awakening experience was random but I've also recently changed my diet, been practicing TM meditation, and have been using reiki and the law of attraction to manifest this transformation faster. @egoeimai

I’d love to hear from you guys if you’ve taken Leo’s life purpose course! Did you find your purpose? What are some of the biggest challenges you faced? Whats the most exciting thing you’re looking forward to? What’s your bliss? What advice can you give to anyone taking the course? Anything else related to your purpose and how you discovered it is welcome!

@egoless Bliss of what you are is the opposite of addiction to a substance.

I always thought, and still do to some degree, that chakras are about ego. Why? Aren't they content? So we can only be in the unconditional bliss if our chakras are open? >>.<< I have a division within me about Chakras. I'm super egoic. What if opening the Chakras means that Ego becomes infinite? I want it to become 0, because Im egoic this way I mean think about it... If your form self is super advanced Chakra-wise, aren't you going to have a harder time when it's time to leave it behind?

Its funny my first time trying LSD with my friend, i could never talk to him about the things we talk about here on Actualized especially when it comes to the deeper spiritual stuff and on LSD i was able to do so, he was finally understanding and connecting the dots, he finally saw the world when the MASK is taken off. It was bliss of an experience, we felt like 2 gods playing chess with the world and giggling on awe at how amazing it is.

I asked a "Guru" (Shunyamurti) this question some time ago. This is what he answered: "Dear Seeker: Your question brings laughter and sighs. You want a quick intellectual fix from books, and it is not to be had. If you come to our ashram, you will see that we have a large library filled with books on these subjects. And what we have is a drop from an infinite ocean of books. If you were to approach this from an earthbound academic frame of reference, you would discard all the pop psychology and new age spirituality books. You would immerse yourself in serious studies of psychoanalytic theory, from Freud to Klein to Bion to Lacan (and a very long list of other names in the field). Then you would enter the larger field of post-structural philosophy, which takes issue with the psychoanalytic paradigms. You would begin to study Derrida and deconstruction, Whitehead and process theory, Deleuze and immanence theory; then you would have to integrate all that with quantum physics, biosemotics, psychosomatics, information theory, and complexity theory. And all of that would not even get you to chakra four. Then you would pore over books on immaterialism, archetypes, interdimensionality, and every variety of metaphysical mapping. You would need to study pure mathematics, fractal theory, relativity, the enigma of time. After mastering all that, you would have to return to Eastern philosophy and ponder the nuances of the paradoxical relationship between duality and non-duality. All this would take a number of years—or lifetimes. And you might have earned a doctorate along the way, but you would be no closer to Liberation. In truth, you will get much more from spending a week with a liberated sage than years reading great books. What you will get from the sage that is decisive is not the new concepts that you may learn. What you will receive is the direct transmission of the Supreme Power. This will dissolve the ego and its censoring filters and enable you to access Truth and Infinite Love. You will realize that everything written in books is false. And you will realize that the world you thought you were living in is a delusion, as was your own imagined identity. You will be utterly enraptured by the divine light and the bliss of supernal love. Liberation is your Real nature. There is no benefit from projecting its secret into books. That is a detour that you can avoid. Your goal must be Silence, not more words. Namaste, Shunyamurti"

@Angelo John Gage If you were going to create the universe and experience it in absolute ignorant bliss, you’d have to cover up a lot of breadcrumbs. I’m not saying you do or don’t have control. I’m saying look at this: “I have control in this reality” . Look at it for ten minutes or so. It’s infinite. So it’ll come right out of it. Get all your beliefs and assumptions out of the way, and take a really good look at that phrase.

Then what you call "higher consciousness" is a mental state of bliss where you're not human anymore (especially if you lost the ability to feel physical pain due to the damage of the body) . . . You can become that if you want, you can choose the middle way or you can go clubbing and working in the wall street . . . You do what works for you everything is fine as long as you know you're in a dreamlike reality or even without knowing that Ps : the "problem" exists only if you choose the path you dont feel genuinely

I enjoy running as a meditative practice, tho i do not run so much or fast as you. First, let me say, normally when meditating the mind becomes very still eventually. The mind going crazy while meditating is usually only the first couple minutes for me, or after I hit a wall in time duration. But experience in meditating will lead to an almost non-thinking state eventually. Breathing exercises, like focusing on the breath during meditation, can reduce thoughts succesfully. When running, i fully try to be aware of my body. Like i am doing a body scanning technique. I especially focus fully on any muscle that is burning, i also focus on my running form. I try to feel it harder, to feel it more, i bask in it. Sometimes while wondering "what is pain exactly, why is this sensation unpleasant?" After a while, the pain becomes abstract and i disassociate it as being unpleasant. So I become joyful, filled with the wonder of being alive and able to feel all these sensations. There is no thought at all anymore, and i am running with this goofy smile in pure bliss.

it's my 1000th time posting about this, sorry. I was watching this video of terence mckenna and the message was conflicting with other advice i've got. he says basically that in order to experience a psychedelic truly I shouldnt try lower doses first, that he recommends to take an average dose and just dive in. I was recommended to go 1g then 2g then 3g, while he recommends I guess just going 2g. what should I do? is it recommended to for example to just try at 0.5g and then go to 2g? he also recommends to do it in the darkness. Basically there are 2 approaches which I see: the badass exploration one and the enjoyment/bliss one. badass exploration is the one in which I guess would grow me the most and is just in silence with closed eyelids meditating. enjoyment one is with music on, just vibing. my goal really is growing so Im attracted more to the badass one but it may be counterproductive in the end. maybe the most growth is when you enjoy it the most. I dont know. how do I utilize this substance to the maximum?

Source some xanax and go nuts. If it get's too much have a sitter there who gives you the full xanax bar, normally a quarter kills a panic attack in 10 minutes but on psychedelics you may need a little more help. And no, one largish dose of xanax will do nothing bad in the long term but one bad trip could scar you for life. The thing is your trip will probably include incredibly scary and powerful moments along with the bliss, so waiting out the storm - especially the come on and body rush distortions - is necessary to reaching the eye of the storm and if you pop the xanax you will never fully break through.

I found an excerpt from a yoga website on "Samadhi" (or spiritual enlightenment). "Samadhi is where the knower, knowledge and object of knowledge unite. The knower (i.e. the person practicing), knowledge (i.e. what is God) and the object of knowledge (i.e. God) become one. This means that one unites with the Divine consciousness. Those who attain Samadhi see a heavenly, radiant light, hear a heavenly sound and feel within themselves an infinite expanse. When Samadhi is attained, we are like a river that finally flows into the sea after a long and difficult journey. All obstacles are overcome and the river is, for all of time, united with the ocean. In the same way, a Yogi arrives at the end of the path and becomes one with the Supreme Consciousness. The Yogi's consciousness finds eternal quiet, peace and bliss - the Yogi is liberated. This experience cannot be conveyed in words, because: only one who has tasted milk, knows how milk tastes; only one who has felt pain, knows what is pain; only one who has loved, knows what is love; and so only one who has experienced Samadhi, knows what is Samadhi. In this state all duality is dissolved. There is neither day or night, neither darkness or light, no qualities or colour. Everything is one in the Supreme Self. This union of the individual soul with the Cosmic soul is the goal of Yoga."

@Mighty Mouse The extent of this insight is way deeper than that. By fighting shadows or evil you only strenghten them, embrace them. This is why enlightened masters don't have a morality which is good or bad, because a morality which is inherently good will only make the evil stronger, true balance, true peace is achieved by embracing both. With meditation you shouldn't be looking for a high state of bliss, you are looking for a balanced state of peace. Every action has a response in order to balance it out. Taking drugs will give you high states of bliss by raising your dopamine, but then you will suffer the withdrawl. Orgasms will give you high states of bliss by raising your dopamine aswell, but after those you will also suffer withdrawl, especially if we are talking about porn, curing the withdrawl with more orgasms will only further destroy your inner balance. Relationships are all about balance that is the way unconscious attraction works, as an example a man who is feminine to 25% and masculine to 75% will attract and be attracted the most by a women who is feminine to 75% and masculine to 25% because they are supposed to learn from each other and achieve a balance of 50% masculine and 50% feminine. Emotions exist because they are leading you to express an imbalance inside of you in order to achieve balance. Those are just a few examples because this basically applies to everything in some way.

I have very faint memory of these experiences as i was a young child but i remember vibrations and powerful waves of energy i am however sensing a familiarity to the spinning sensation now that i think about it but not as clear to say anymore. There is also this completely silent/bliss state when i was trying to do it as an adult then it would over-excite me and i would shift back to the vibration state. Its hard to put it into words or make any sense out of it. When i was a child it was more natural and effortless so it could have something to do with our purity and our alignments both physical and energetic.

@phoenix666 Witnessing... It is actually a form of self-inquiry. When done correctly, it is extremely powerful. And, it is not even a doing. Read these talks by Osho: http://www.satrakshita.com/witnessing_the_only_meditation.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/the_inside_mirror.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/remaining_a_witness.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/witnessing_a_simple_phenomenon.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/watchfulness.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/awareness_a_transforming_force.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/witnessing_the_last_frontier.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/bliss.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/the_observer_is_not_the_witness.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/witnessing_not_an_experience.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/the_fire_of_witnessing.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/choicelessness_is_bliss.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/witnessing_is_so_easy.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/alchemy_of_real_religion.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/satyam_shivam_sundram.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/the_appearance_of_the_new.htm http://www.satrakshita.com/the_witness_the_inner_voice.htm

@AleksM i felt justo energy coursing through everything, i felt i was being puryfied. I felt heat, bliss, love. It was like everything was súper vibrant. I felt sensitive towards the unhealthy food i ate two days ago. Towards other peoples and my own mind and emotions. Not sure how to describe it. Felt even more layers of repressed shit being purged.

I had this thought come to me while I was on acid. It felt like I was too aware of everything. I legitimately wanted to go back to sleep and become unconscious again. I feel like this now as well. I can't enjoy normal things that people do. Things like TV and video games do not hold my interest anymore. I just don't understand how normal people can enjoy these things. Also I seem to have no desire to pursue women anymore. There was a girl that I liked and instead of trying to pursue her, I seemed to be content in the fact that she had a boyfriend. My car also got totaled and I have no desire to get it fixed. I am just like okay, whatever, I'll just walk now. It really feels like reality is testing me. Nothing seems to be effecting me anymore. It is quite laughable, really, that I can be in bliss even if my external circumstances are shit. I love meditation, but now there seems like there is nothing left for me to do.

@egoless follow your bliss. what feels like the best thing to do? also what do you mean by "hardcore spirituality" and how do you quantify spiritual advancement? and obviously personal development includes spirituality (why would you do it then if it wouldnt develop you). what do you define as "personal development"? life purpose? if so, if there is a conflict between your life purpose and your spirituality, probably one of them is inauthentic, I think you got a bunch of limiting beliefs there that you are not conscious of. in conclusion, i think that you bullshit yourself somewhere and you gotta unravel that net of bullshit. (I might be wrong though, you decide) you could always try some psychedelics to get that bullshit to the surface.

I would rather call it existential bliss.