Search the Community
Showing results for 'bliss'.
Found 6,370 results
-
@lukej Hey man, I myself am an aspiring musician/sage and I have a lot of the same questions as you... But you're questions are a lot better Imma try to answer all your questions to the best of my infinite intelligence. Not that I know of. And that's a good thing. The real masters probably need a good amount of research to be found. They would never be in the mainstream or anywhere near a McDonalds. "When the student is ready, the teacher appears" I think it's music that brings you into the present moment. ALL music is in the present but not all makes YOU presnetly question your reality or create feelings of bliss, excitement, joy, and love. But you must have those feelings inside of you to begin with. Music is the expression of who you are. The best musicians know who they are, accept themselves, and try to be a vessel to the muse inside of them. Have you ever wondered how new music is always created? When you think you've heard everything out comes another song to blow your mind. If you want to make conscious music quick, I recommend pyscadelics or a meditation retreat to really get you into BEING. Well instead of listening to trap music that tends to idealize drug use, material gain, and sex, which isn't wrong. You can write music about the truth you feel, personally. Strong opinions attract attention. In a sense you don't want your music to make people feel good while their listnening and right after the song is over they crave more. Music should inspire, it should recharge one's energy for life isntead of robbing creativity. Yes. Yes I do. Albums: PINK FLOYD - Dark side of the moon. JOHN LENNON - Plastic Ono Band. Songs: PASSENGER - 27, Scare away the dark Well you gotta check your ego. When you start becoming successfull at making consc. music and realizing how much more you could do you might be persuaded to tend to another audience. Mainstream pop stuff. Why? Money, fame, sex, drugs, rock and rolll etc. YOU, the ego, will go nuts for that stuff. So you just have to ground yourself in your values, regularly meditate and chill. I have read Jim Morrison of The Doors Biography and it really inspired me. Although he was heavily addicted to drugs his whole life and ended up killing himself I still think it was very motivational for me to grab life by the throat live more. That's all i got. ---------- The best part of being a musician is that you are free to do WHATEVER you want with your art. You are god, be a revolutionary, make something s new and mindbending people sob orgasmically when they listen to your stuff. Music is so much more than Top 50 Hits. That's like %0.1. Just dive into it. HAHAHAHHAHA. First of all. It's not even you whos creating music. Ask yourself where thoughts come from. YOU are an instrument for god/infinite creativity/love. AND THEN you play another instrument to express it. Mastery of an instrument is mastery of expressing godThere is nothing to worry about. I think writers block is being stuck in the same "awareness level" for too long. DO SHROOMS, MEDITATE, READ and you'll never run out of music. Good luck. Love Adam.
-
Nahm replied to moon777light's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@moon777light Yeah. Only for the Truth though. Ignorance can be bliss. -
Faceless replied to Preetom's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Absolute...Nah I don’t name such beauty. Let’s not name such bliss? -
Faceless replied to Preetom's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Yes I agree with this. It’s pretty easy to tell who is caught in there own Jazz ?? Explained well once again. Yep although I see intuition as a movement of mind. I see it as insight. We have gone into that. But I know what your saying and agree. For me when all “defending” ceases so does this movement to capture reality with the intellect. It’s pretty fair to say that thought/intellect is a movement of defense/control. To maintain permanence of self/ego. Yes this is where the essence of beauty “pure bliss” arises. When the one who benefits, controls ends. -
tsuki replied to Preetom's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@now is forever I don't think that there is any 'wanting' involved. It is perfectly mechanical and 'will' is just a manifestation of its operation. I also think that there is no way to train ego to do anything, as ego doesn't exist. Ego is like the periphery of your vision. The boundary between seen and unseen. It is in effect when you miss that you are all of it - the seen and unseen. Everybody, always, misses that. Even the nondual, enlightened folk. When you look at a cup to examine it, you are not aware what is at the other side of the cup. If you turn the cup around, it always has the other side that you don't see. You can stand in front of a mirror and look at the other side, but you are now looking at a mirror, not at a cup. Even worse, you are not looking at both sides simultaneously. You can still look at one side at a time. If you align a cup in a way that it would show you both sides at the same time - you will obstruct its reflection in the mirror. You always, necessarily look at something from a certain perspective. Even if you employ a mirror, which is a metaphor for self-awareness/the mind. So, you are always stuck at a certain perspective even if you know, that there is the other side. You may think that you're smart and know that there is the other side, but you never know how it will manifest itself, so you cannot take account for it. When you have a plan that accounts for your truth/perspective, the other side will manifest itself. If you greet it with curiosity and openness - you have to let go of your plan. If you greet it firmly and try to conquer it - you have to let go of the results. Knowledge will not let you recognize the other side. Intuition will. It is always different. It always goes meta on itself. There is no way to outsmart it, as you are it. @Preetom has experienced it as a dead, mechanical thing that runs. That is correct. The alive quality of reality comes from the fact that you defend yourself against the other side. The moment that you start to think that you are smarter than reality, it stops being dead and starts to be alive. The game is on and you are the prey. It will remind you of your place. It will dominate you and show you how insignificant your spark of consciousness is. The sharper and smarter you are, the smarter and sharper it is. It's in perfect balance, as the seen and the unseen are symmetric. You can only witness intelligence in its dead, mechanical, nature if you submit to it and help it. Not the other way around. Then, there is no benefit or utility in using it, but there is only beauty. The less you that benefits and controls is, the faster and faster it runs. The more beautiful it becomes. Pure bliss. -
Shams Of Tabriz Befuddled believer! If every Ramadan one fasts in the name of God and every Eid one sacrifices a sheep or a goat as an atonement for his sins, if all his life one strives to make the pilgrimage to Mecca and five times a day kneels on a prayer rug but at the same time has no room for love in his heart, what is the use of all this trouble? Faith is only a word if there is no love at its center, so flaccid and lifeless, vague and hollow—not anything you could truly feel. Do they think God resides in Mecca or Medina? Or in some local mosque somewhere? How can they imagine that God could be confined to limited space when He openly says, Neither My heaven nor My earth embraces Me, but the heart of My believing servant does embrace Me. Pity the fool who thinks the boundaries of his mortal mind are the boundaries of God the Almighty. Pity the ignorant who assume they can negotiate and settle debts with God. Do such people think God is a grocer who attempts to weigh our virtues and our wrongdoings on two separate scales? Is He a clerk meticulously writing down our sins in His accounting book so as to make us pay Him back someday? Is this their notion of Oneness? Neither a grocer nor a clerk, my God is a magnificent God. A living God! Why would I want a dead God? Alive He is. His name is al-Hayy—the Ever-Living. Why would I wallow in endless fears and anxieties, always restricted by prohibitions and limitations? Infinitely compassionate He is. The name is al-Wadud. All-Praiseworthy He is. I praise Him with all my words and deeds, as naturally and effortlessly as I breathe. The name is al-Hamid. How can I ever spread gossip and slander if I know deep down in my heart that God hears and sees it all? His name is al-Başir. Beautiful beyond all dreams and hopes. Al-Jamal, al-Kayyum, al-Rahman, al-Rahim. Through famine and flood, dry and athirst, I will sing and dance for Him till my knees buckle, my body collapses, and my heart stops pounding. I will smash my ego to smithereens, until I am no more than a particle of nothingness, the wayfarer of pure emptiness, the dust of the dust in His great architecture. Gratefully, joyously, and relentlessly, I commend His splendor and generosity. I thank Him for all the things He has both given and denied me, for only He knows what is best for me. Recalling another rule on my list, I felt a fresh wave of happiness and hope. The human being has a unique place among God’s creation. “I breathed into him of My Spirit,” God says. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, just how often do you behave like a delegate, if you ever do so? Remember, it falls upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it. Instead of losing themselves in the Love of God and waging a war against their ego, religious zealots fight other people, generating wave after wave of fear. Looking at the whole universe with fear-tinted eyes, it is no wonder that they see a plethora of things to be afraid of. Wherever there is an earthquake, drought, or any other calamity, they take it as a sign of Divine Wrath—as if God does not openly say, My compassion outweighs My wrath. Always resentful of somebody for this or that, they seem to expect God the Almighty to step in on their behalf and take their pitiful revenges. Their life is a state of uninterrupted bitterness and hostility, a discontentment so vast it follows them wherever they go, like a black cloud, darkening both their past and their future There is such a thing in faith as not being able to see the forest for the trees. The totality of religion is far greater and deeper than the sum of its component parts. Individual rules need to be read in the light of the whole. And the whole is concealed in the essence. Instead of searching for the essence of the Qur’an and embracing it as a whole, however, the bigots single out a specific verse or two, giving priority to the divine commands that they deem to be in tune with their fearful minds. They keep reminding everyone that on the Day of Judgment all human beings will be forced to walk the Bridge of Sirat, thinner than a hair, sharper than a razor. Unable to cross the bridge, the sinful will tumble into the pits of hell underneath, where they will suffer forever. Those who have led a virtuous life will make it to the other end of the bridge, where they will be rewarded with exotic fruits, sweet waters, and virgins. This, in a nutshell, is their notion of afterlife. So great is their obsession with horrors and rewards, flames and fruits, angels and demons, that in their itch to reach a future that will justify who they are today they forget about God! Don’t they know one of the forty rules? Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both presents inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy, or fight someone, we tumble straight into the fires of hell. This is what Rule Number Twenty-five is about. Is there a worse hell than the torment a man suffers when he knows deep down in his conscience that he has done something wrong, awfully wrong? Ask that man. He will tell you what hell is. Is there a better paradise than the bliss that descends upon a man at those rare moments in life when the bolts of the universe fly open and he feels in possession of all the secrets of eternity and fully united with God? Ask that man. He will tell you what heaven is. Why worry so much about the aftermath, an imaginary future, when this very moment is the only time we can truly and fully experience both the presence and the absence of God in our lives? Motivated by neither the fear of punishment in hell nor the desire to be rewarded in heaven, Sufis love God simply because they love Him, pure and easy, untainted and non-negotiable. Love is the reason. Love is the goal. And when you love God so much, when you love each and every one of His creations because of Him and thanks to Him, extraneous categories melt into thin air. From that point on, there can be no “I” anymore. All you amount to is a zero so big it covers your whole being. The other day Rumi and I were contemplating these issues when all of a sudden he closed his eyes and uttered the following lines: “Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu, Buddhist, Sufi or zen. Not any religion or cultural system. I am not of the East, nor of the West.… My place is placeless, a trace of the traceless.” Rumi thinks he can never be a poet. But there is a poet in him. And a fabulous one! Now that poet is being revealed. Yes, Rumi is right. He is neither of the East nor of the West. He belongs in the Kingdom of Love. He belongs to the Beloved.
-
Guest replied to littleBIG's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Warning, self actualization is not a concept that you learn and became better at it. Enlightenment is discovering your own essence, by doing so, one switches focus from outside world to the inside. By simply focusing on the inside, the body/mind will part in a process of literal Agony, Fear, Disorientation, Bliss. Do not forget, we where putting our energy outside during decades for many of us. Now when you return to your inner world everything seems to fall apart in the first months/years. The process is not for the pleasure seekers, pleasure comes as a consequence of harmony/love. But until one is in the process of harmony, PAIN is the greatest virtue. -
Truth replied to AleksM's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Lol that's what I'm talking about! you don't understand it! It's BEYOND you! It it takes an open mind to go BEYOND. Instead of working all that confusion out you just say "why does he include all this shit into enlightenment? Because my intuition says you don't need any of that crap." and you never question it. You never say "Hmm, maybe there's something here I just need to experience for myself perhaps? I'll be open to that possibility of experiencing these things for myself." The problem here is I don't know what ideas you have about enlightement. Is it no-mind? unconditional love? state of bliss? All loving and understanding? no self? End of suffering? Amazing life? What is it? All of the above? none of the above? -
@abundance I have a few awesome business ideas, inspirations that could improve my community, and myself....but they are not my life purpose.... so I often debate the validity of pursuing them.... and find my weird relationship with $ too much of a hindrance... Questions: 1. What were the top three lessons you learned from this book? 2. What do you think humanity/ nature is most in need of.... where you have related skills and vision... to step in with an offering? 3. What brings you bliss, and gives back to the universe?
-
Hey. I would like to say a few things before I start this topic. Enlightenment is not one thing as most believe. There are two types of non dual experience, with a various depths and stages. The types? Void stages and God stages. Void stages include diving deep into the great unknown self. The faceless god, Without quality. God stages include experiences of the face of god. Bliss, love, compassion and etc. Void and god stages also come at varying depths. Mooji for example is in a void stage yet he definitely does not have the same depth that sadhguru or Ramana maharshi have. How do I know this. Asides from experiencing many of these states. I can read energies. All these experiences and states happen due to energetic changes. Normally ones energy becomes more and more subtle, more refined, and dives into pure stillness and then nothingness. There is a qualitative change. A rebirth. Another stage. This process then repeats. How do psychedelics relate to any of this? As I said I am an energy sensitive, and very familiar with these changes and processes. Psychedelics have extremely coarse energies. The consumption of said coarse energies can indeed greatly alter ones experience. Even permanently. These experiences might even be mistaken for true non dual states. They are not. They are static filled simulations. Loud simulations. That although are very flashy. Lack the depth. The maturity, and the clarity of the real things. This is because psychedelics (which I have done a lot of) overpower the system. Damage it. Damage the Nadis or energetic system. Halt the refinement process that leads to true enlightenment. If that was it though. Who cares. Go for it, but that is not it. When psychedelics damage your system and your auric field. They create literal holes in your energetic self. These holes then make you vulnerable to negative energies. Once cognized by mystics as demons and entities. These. Entities then latch onto you, and if you don’t stop. More will come, more will come. Eventually you become so fucked up. You won’t even know what hit you. Deluded. Thinking you are in a non dual states. Because of a psychedelically induced altered state. Some flashy simulation that lacks depth. While bark like a dog and act like a moron like martin ball. You can destroy your life and system. Beyond repair, and gain a ton of karma by doing this shit. Especially in short intervals. Please listen. I say this for no one else will. Nor do they know about he amount of damage these drugs can do. The damage can be undone, however, good luck
-
I think I am not strong enough for this awakening. It is literally a psychological death, it feels like it. Please tell me I am not crazy, I feel like I am not exisiting in this concept of time anymore or I cant. I awakened myself by overthinking to a point where my mind automatically made me awake. Trust me. I FEEL LIKE SUICIDE WOULDNT BE MUCH DIFFERENT THAN THE STATE OF MIND IM IN FOR MONTHS NOW. Unfortunately I havent noticed any of the good yet. Just pure suffering. If that is awakening, I woudve for sure renounced it. Day by day I realize that "I" cant exist anymore due to circumstances in my mind. When will the moment come, when I feel one with myself, not feeling like regretting that I havent killed myself? I am literally not amused with the word "awakening", since it is such a life threatening issue in my case. I feel my ego is just nothing, very vague, about to break, protecting itself by telling me I have to kill it phsically. So when I am just not what I thought I am, my mind tells me everything of me is vague, why should it be so different to killing myself. It is somehow the easier way than carrying around the burden of this issue. It is the same as suicide, every enlightened person says that suicide is the ultimate enlightenment. It is a valid feeling of death. Just psychologically, so, how can this ever be a bliss? I am not suicidal. It just gets more serious in that matter, that everything in my mind I identify with is so existential, so deeply rooted.
-
I have read a lot of posts of spiritual seekers and allegedly enlightened people who did not like this eternal now, oneness with everything, enlightenment, but could not go back. If somebody experiences non-duality, oneness, emptiness, nothingness, beyond time and space, but not bliss, on the contrary, agony, why is not it called enlightenment?
-
Prabhaker replied to electroBeam's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Through concentration, great powers are developed, you will become a specialist, you will become an expert but that ultimate relaxation we are seeking, does not happen. Your powers increase, but not your bliss. Concentration doesn't give relaxation from tension, but instead it will make you even more tense, you will be tired of it sooner or later. Concentration is not awareness, and the person of concentration will never show compassion. Concentration is of the mind, in concentration you focus on one thing and you forget everything else. meditation is of consciousness. -
Torkys replied to nethernalbeing's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Welcome to the forum! Let me ask you two questions: Who is judging things by their relation to ego? Who is trying to avoid unnecessary activities? People here - especially the newbies of enlightenment work - usually look at the ego as the enemy. This will get you actually further from enlightenment because the ego turning against itself is ego itself! The ego actually wants to hold onto aspects of God - invulnerability, utter tranquility, love. etc. - but it misinterprets them. When the question is dissolving the ego, Love Is The Only Answer At some point in your journey of becoming aware, just being conscious will be the most beautiful thing you could do - or not do. Why do you - the ego - need to fill your free time? Again, ego is just like a sidekick of yours who never gets things right - but for this, it deserves love not hate. Wanting to please others is still ego. But yet again, attachment and the pleasing of your ego are not problems! Your ego got onto this path because it thinks it will get something out of it - this is still ego! Follow your bliss. The ego will manage the activity or the way you think about it when it encounters resistance. -
Nahm replied to okulele's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@okulele Just bask in the sweet peace and bliss of nonduality. It is nice to know!! Isn’t it? -
Blissout replied to Buddha Jackson's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
How about telling a bit what your state is like after enlightenment? Are you in a state of unbroken peace and bliss? Did it end psychological suffering? What practice did you do? -
In my experience, one has to reconsolidate the ego and grow every day. And this growth first is Pain, after is bliss. Pure comfort leads to death.
-
pluto replied to Elena2's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
After Enlightenment, you finally understand what it feels like to be Alive and Live Truly. Even a walk down the street is artwork of divine magnificence and pure joy of synchronistic intelligence as everything has awakened/reincarnated like the first time you ever experience Life as a baby. Now this (state of utter bliss and pure understanding) can last from several months to a few years or more depending on your self-work/care and lifestyle choices/situation or it can last indefinitely if you are already pre-prepared from previous awakenings whether it is this life or the previous that you have chosen to forget for a greater purpose. Grasping Oneness to the degree when you cannot differentiate between you and another or even you and an object for that matter is one of the most profound and enlightening experiences, it takes the feeling of HOME to a level beyond your wildest dreams. You can be anywhere in the universe and you will feel completely safe and home in pure love. Love is the Key! ^that is basically what one can explain with words, there is magic like stated above far greater than could ever be expressed but only directly experienced/understood/felt. Bless! -
Guest replied to Elena2's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Life is really boring around common folk To much seriousness and fear around. I get too much attention normally. Comes natural to speak with strangers and specially connect with women in my case. I really enjoy the agony in growth and the bliss after. & many many many more magical things in depth about everything and about even some grains of sand when i'm on the beach. -
Infinite Love I have found in my life that whenever started a challenge to, for example, say "I love you" 24/7 I fail after a few days. It is the conflict between our subconscious beliefs and our radicle action that creates a big emotional resistance in ourselves. That is why it is hard to maintain a swift change at times, as your core fundamental deeply ingrained childhood beliefs that make up the identity of a you need to removed. And the only way to remove these beliefs is to go through all of the ignored emotions in our cells that continue to manifest in the people we see, which in turn strengthens the beliefs that made us avoid those emotions in the first place. For example, if I've ignored all of the sadness in my life, I will see it in everyone I met, and everything I see, as I have a belief that it's not OK to feel sadness. Reality responds to this by giving you more and more sadness so that the belief that sadness must be avoided can remain. And to go even further, if from this belief, which counter intuitively created the sad emotions and thoughts I wanted to avoid, I started to honor my heart with unconditional love and decided to face the sadness (like I would listen to my 5 year old self in need) this would create "resistance" beyond imagination to face, which in truth is all of the emotions being finally seen, and heard and felt. This feeling of the heart instead of the thinking from the mind, this shift in your default state of awareness that is the destiny of all human beings on this planet thus gives your heart so much more attention that your body will struggle to handle it. The pain of emotions transmuting faster than your body can keep up will at the start also create feelings of heavy sleepiness, and could manifest physical illness as the emotional energy cannot leave fast enough. This is why changing habits can be quite challenging for you can feel against your limiting subconscious thoughts of "I don't like this change", the pain of emotions being felt, and finally your beliefs which is the source of this all. So lets deal with the source then? What is the best way to change beliefs? There are two I know, and use. The first is to ask whenever an emotion arises in your body: What do I have to believe about myself in order to feel this way? So lets say you are jealous that a friend gets all of the attention from people, and you don't. The belief is then, "I am not worthy of attention from people". Now, is that really true? Just feel that in your body for a moment, I am not worthy of attention from other people. Why did you choose out of all the beliefs in existence to have this one? Would you want to tell that to your friends if they asked: "Hey, so what do you believe about yourself?" and you say: "That I'm unworthy of love" would you be proud? If you could live this life again would you choose that belief or would you swap it for "I am God almighty, and I deserve to be heard, felt , and adored to no end. Because my body is made of love, and my soul is love itself, love is my birthright." What a different life that would create. Once you find that limiting belief, reverse it as I have done above, and then live as if it is true. That is all that is necessary. The second is what I use the most often. That is to be inside of your heart, live from that center point. Your heart is love, your heart is life, your heart is the everything you have ever dreamed of that has been right under your nose the whole time. By loving whatever emotion arises in your heart you clear all of your karma, free all of your beliefs, until all that is left is a space of nothingness for bliss to fill. This practice includes loving whatever catches your attention by sending it a blessing, compliment, a smile, an affirmation, or simply an "I love you" so that you are BEING the love. This means any beliefs that are out of alignment with love will be forced to vanish at the rate that you choose love in each moment. The importance of this cannot be written in words, for from your level of awareness the true gifts are completely unfathomable and will seem to most, "too good to be true". These practices should be integrated slowly until a 24/7 level is reached after a few weeks, or months; as the pain of the 3 ego defenders (emotions, thoughts and beliefs) may overwhelm you as it did in my experience. Even the 3 ego defenders are just here to help you see for yourself that nothing in reality can fulfill you other than the attention and care you give to yourself. This just shows how absolutely everything that arises in your awareness is here to support your highest evolution, so see it as the gift that it is, and love the fuck out of it.
-
Solace replied to Jacobsrw's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Just speak from your heart, that's all man. Trust that all you need to do is love your heart, and even if the person responds awkwardly, at least you come out of the conversation more evolved and liberated than ever before. Accept yourself on the deepest level, and others will reflect that acceptance/love/joy/bliss/happiness back to you. -
spiritdog34 replied to Razvan's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I appreciate so much your honest insightful and articulate points made concerning Transcendence of the ego body identity... it is so strange that you mentioned about how we who long and seek to transcend judgement and fear of our ego become so judgemental ... of ourselves as well as others which are inseparable ..that is really so true I find. myself wanting to isolate from the ego drama because I feel it's pull in my gut.. and I want so much to abide in the heaven of fearless loving acceptance... there are times when I'm able to do this and I feel such Bliss... then I have the contrast of plummeting back to the reality of survival in these bodies and the fear.... -
NoSelfSelf replied to zunnyman's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Viking thats not true you will enjoy it because what comes out of you is peace and bliss thats the point of doing it removing suffering -
I use Colloidal Silver and is life changing. Plannig to buy Ormus that is Colloidal Gold or make it myself. Precious metals in the system are life changing, full of bliss.
-
egoless replied to Applejuice's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Applejuice You seem overexcited. First of all, stop chasing states. Awakening is not a state or any kind of form including the feeling of bliss (however, it could be accompanied by it). Based on what you are saying I would say you are on the first stage. Neti Neti process is essential starting point and maybe you already learned what you are not from it. However, this is not even a halfway. Now you need to become conscious who you are! And noone can tell you how long may it take. You will need lots of self inquiry and presence as awareness. You need to become conscious of your unlimited nature. You will need to empty your mind. You are trying to achieve smth while meditating instead of being still. Work on that...