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The metaphysical hindu worldview stands on the concept of "Brahman" which is the essence of existence. this concept points to the "transcendental absolute reality " which is "impersonal" and "neutral" .. "the first essence" from which everything conceived, conceivable and inconceivable emerged from. Brahman can't be defined in terms of "what it is".. Only in terms of "what it is NOT". So we can't give it any positive qualities.. Only negative ones.. Such as "infinite" =NOT finite.. Unchanged.. Uneffected.. Unmoved..etc. This infinite absolute has another facet to it "Maya" .. Which is the illusory unsubstantial.. Ever- changing phenomenal appearance which are like waves on the still water. Or like images on the screen of eternity (Brahman). As a self you are "Atman " which means "soul" or "spirit". Your soul or spirit which is who you really are is beyond this world of "Maya" . To be liberated or to attain liberation "moksha" you have to know your true self.. So liberation is simply the knowledge of your self.. "Atma jnana" which is to know that your essence or subjective self "Atman" is identical to the essence of all of existence and the objective self "Brahman

Keep refining and building! Good work. The website looked really good! The whole thing feels impersonal, which I kind of liked actually.

I put a tab and a half of blotter under my tongue and waited. I sat on my zazen cushion facing the wall with my eyes lowered, breathing deeply. I felt shaky, as if energy was surging through me that would let me sit still comfortably. The come up hadn't even begun yet but the anxiety was already high. A tab and a half of this particular batch of LSD was the most I'd ever done, and on top of that these tabs were the strongest I'd ever faced. The come up came on strong and swift. I found myself getting higher and higher. Each level higher bringing about its own fear. Each time I would break through into a higher level of consciousness, I would think to myself 'there's nothing higher than this' and it was only then that it would dawn on me that I was breaking through to yet an even higher dimension. I eventually got off of my meditation cushion and sat down on my bed. It was early afternoon. I quickly glanced out the window to try and ground myself but I couldn't ground myself in physical reality. A revolution was taking place within me, The LSD wasn't about the let me ignore it. I tried to play music to keep me calm but any form of music felt distasteful so I opted out of music. My heart raced, and raced, the fear got more and more intense. I shifted my position to a seated position where my back was leaning against the wall and my feet extended in front of me. I was facing the window and I looked out at the tree's and I noticed that they were no longer tree's. The leaves had taken the shape of geometric patterns that extended deeply into my visual field. I felt fear because I realized that reality was now radically different than it had ever been but I put the fear out of my mind pretty quickly by surrendering as deeply as I could to the experience that was unfolding before my eyes. An energy rushed through my body, like a rapidly flowing river. The river flowed through all of the objects in the room and then to the center of the universe. As the current got stronger, I began to feel a slight pull at my ego. Stronger and stronger it pulled at my ego until I finally let it go. It was so uncomfortable at first to feel my sense of self be pulled away and then tossed into oblivion. It had happened to me before in other psychedelic experiences but it’s a feeling I don't think I'll ever get used to. Anyhow, I realized that I existed without any sense of identity or self. I sat there on my bed, totally nobody. The revolution going full speed within me capturing the majority of my attention. What was the revolution? I couldn't tell, it was too much for my mind to comprehend. As the current of the river got even stronger, I suddenly became one with it. Like a small bubble merging into a larger bubble. I flowed (as the cosmic river) through all the objects in my room and into my cat which was sitting on the window sill. I flowed into my cats tail and waved it. As the revolution within me was dying down in intensity, I began to realize that I was reaching the peak of the experience. I got off my bed and walked downstairs to sit on the couch. The TV was on but I was too preoccupied with my inner state to even notice the outside world very much. I sat on the couch looking at nothing really. My full attention wrapped up in my deep inner state. I felt myself begin to approach madness as I became less and less responsive to the outside world. I was leaving the outside behind entirely and diving deeply within myself. I no longer heard sounds in the room or outside, no longer smelled the air, or felt my body temperature, etc. I let go completely into the beyond. As the last parts of my outside attention began to slip away a feeling that I might never come back washed over me, but I didn't fear it very much. I simply let go into the beyond. My thoughts became more and more irrelevant as I went deeper into my mind. My intellect became like a mosquito. Landing on different parts of the experience trying to suck out any meaning, philosophy, wisdom that it could take back with it into the egoic mind. I was so conscious however that I didn't care that it operated in this way. Large portions of my mind which (I realized) are normally shrouded in darkness or unconsciousness, had now become fully conscious. Where normally the intellect would take up quite a bit of conscious real estate, it was no longer large enough to even capture 1% of my full attention. I was deep in my own mind and with that depth came a great compassion for all life. I saw the landscape of my mind like the stars speckled across the night sky. The darkness of space being the unconscious parts of my mind, and the little specks of light were the conscious sides of my mind. As I went deeper into my mind, there was less and less dark space and more and more light. I began to approach schizophrenia. I saw it coming as I let go into my mind more and more. My conscious attention panicked and then rushed back to see what my body was doing in the physical world. It was like swimming to the top of the pool to make sure the waves were still okay. I immediately realized the futility of such a task. My body was sitting there, starring at the wall to my left, hands in my lap. The TV was on, the AC was running, the house was quiet. I felt the tug to turn inward pull my attention back away from my body and deep into my mind again. I felt myself entering schizophrenia yet again but I didn’t try to stop it this time. The part of my mind which gave things meaning was now under my full conscious control. I was ascribing the deepest of meaning to everything in my experience, even the smallest things were imbued with cosmic levels of meaning and purpose. There was no part of my experience 'inner or outer' that I wasn't consciously making blissful. I gave everything so much depth and meaning that I could hardly handle the beauty I'd made. I felt like a grape that was so ripe it could pop at any moment, releasing the sweetest of juices. The deeper I went into the schizophrenia the more images of my family discovering me starring absent mindedly at the wall began to play in my mind. Visions of my family crying at my bedside as I was completely unresponsive played in my mind. For a moment I grieved the loss of my normal self but just as I began to feel too sad I dropped all human emotions and became something cosmic. Something impersonal. I was now so deep in my mind that I was no longer aware of physical reality, sounds, smells, taste, touch. I was no longer even aware of emotions, or thoughts either. I found myself in the center of the universe as the center of the universe. I was no longer a human being at this point. I no longer cared whether or not I ever came back to my senses. The feeling of cosmic bliss was so deep that it fulfilled me completely. If I had died in this very spot, I would have been okay with that. Nothing mattered at all. I saw that there were no mistakes in the universe, no evil. I nonchalantly witnessed the beginning of man kind. Millions of human beings sitting cross legged on the ground. All of the human beings, animals, and insects serving no other purpose than to be sensors from which I observe myself from within myself (as the universal). I witnessed the first human hug, the first dance, the first song, the first death and murder. All of this pleased me to no end. I wasn't to keen on watching human history long however, or even cosmic history. I knew everything that existed in the cosmos, nothing was a surprise to me. One thing captured my attention more than anything else though- The fact that I was aware. I couldn't stop marveling at the fact that I was aware. Because I was aware, I generated nothing but Love. This was the most obvious thing to do. I generated love, love, love as the universe itself. I didn't spend long in this schizophrenic state, I felt my ordinary consciousness begin to come back as the parts of my mind which were now well lit began to go dark again. I felt my emotions start to come back, then my thoughts, then my visual field came back online, then my smell, taste, touch, and body consciousness. I shifted myself in my chair to appear more normal in case anyone walked in and saw me. I realized then that my ego had also began to resurface. I thought to myself- ''so that's what schizophrenia is….wow. I do not fear that.'' I got up from the couch and walked over to the small bathroom on the far left corner of the living room. As I walked on the carpet I realized that the carpet was bearing the weight of my body. I saw that the carpet was conscious and was feeling me walk across it. I tried to walk gently and calmly as not to cause it any unnecessary suffering. I then noticed that all the inanimate objects around me were fully conscious just like I was. Inside of each thing was a deep inner experience. I flicked the light switch with great care, I used the bathroom with great care, and closed the door without slamming it. Everything had intense cosmic meaning. Meaning was shining brightly from every single being in the room. I was no longer seeing the living room as the living room, I was seeing it as Living Eternity. I went into the kitchen and saw an orange on the counter. I picked it up and looked at it closely. I realized that what I normally referred to as 'the peel' was actually not a 'peel', it was skin. The same kind of skin that I have on my body and you on yours. I looked at a banana and saw the same thing. These were living beings who could feel. I thought of them as 'fruit' as a means to separate myself from them so that I could brutalize them without moral consequence within myself. I thought to myself- so then what do I eat? My intuition responded to my intellect immediately. I realized that eating these beings was necessary when it was in the service of ending suffering (hunger). I felt the floor feel the pain of my standing on it. I said to it- "why don't you move if you are in pain?" My intuition immediately responded- "Because I Love you." I was crushed by that response. I walked across the floor as gently as I could. My cat ran down the stairs and walked into the kitchen with me, carefully stepping across the floor as gracefully as it could. My cat rubbed against my leg to greet me and I saw through the delusion that there was a 'self' in my cat at all. All of my ideas of a relationship between my cat, our history, the ideas that my cat loves me, etc. was total delusion. I saw my cat as if it were a total stranger to me. I felt disgusted by it, and I pitied the cat. I saw that it had no spiritual depth. Its life was empty of all spirit, of all depth. It was purely a bodily existence. I do not believe that I ever got over this realization. Once I had seen that in my cat, I could not un-see it. Note- I did not use it as an excuse to neglect my cat, instead I saw it as an opportunity to treat my cat better. Since its existence was purely bodily, I could easily bring it joy and comfort with things like catnip, quality canned wet foods, keeping the litter box clean, water fountain clean, playing more often, etc. So I took up the responsibility to do these things and carried them out until his death a little over a year later. Beyond this point nothing remarkable took place. There were a few things which I walked away with that I didn't get to mention earlier. For starters, in the bathroom I looked in the mirror and smiled at myself. I saw my teeth were rotted and brown. I was shocked by this. A Jamaican woman's voice said to me loud and clear- 'You eat dead things (meat) and you wonder why you're rotting?' I left the bathroom with a strong conviction to become a vegetarian. As the trip came to a close I had a vision of myself sitting on a zazen cushion in a zendo. The vision had great emotional depth. I felt a strong conviction to devote my life to becoming a monastic. Two weeks later I packed all my things and moved to a zen center. I have lived here for 2 years currently. End.

Lots of great replies.... Ego = "A bad case of mistaken identity" as Ken Wilber put it. One that obscures the realization and experience of Being. Here's a quote from the glossary that I've never shared before when this topic has come up- Ego Seen as the Belief in a Self Other perspectives see ego as the belief in a self or entity. The activity of ego is taken to be the activity of a person -- an entity -- who has desires and hopes. So here ego is seen as taking oneself to be a person, separate from the rest of the universe, who was born to a set of parents, who was a child, who grew up, in time, to his present status of an adult who has his hopes, desires and goals. The belief that this separate individuality is one's identity, one's self, is seen by some teachings as the main barrier to the ultimate reality which is an impersonal and universal Being, or alternately, the Void. Enlightenment then is the insight that one is not really this separate individual, a realization which is equivalent to the state of unqualified Being, or nonconceptual Reality. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 21

I feel like I'm opening up more and more to this forum. But it will still take some time. I still feel some anxiety thinking about interacting with people. I feel like pushing people away. My anxiety does that. The problem is that I have associated the word "people" with something negative due to my past trauma. My past trauma where my trust was repeatedly broken by friends and ex boyfriends. I started to look at people suspiciously. I can't be blamed. I was bullied throughout my life even by friends. When I had guys as friends as a teenager they would send me inappropriate sexual text messages. I was treated like a joker. I was constantly preyed on. I felt like a prey around people. This made me psychopathic, aggressive and defensive My ex boyfriends used me for sexual reasons. It left me feeling like I meant nothing to them. My first two ex boyfriends were extremely controlling. My second ex even controlled and decided what I ate. One day he told me that I should not cut my hair. His level of control became so severe that I felt hunted and it felt like a prison. I was never allowed to do anything without his permission. He would regularly yell at me. I would feel frozen in extreme fright. I constantly lived in flight or fight mode. He would blackmail and threaten me that he will break the relationship if I did not do as he said. My first boyfriend used to follow me around in the kitchen. He would be very dominating. He would order me to pour water in his glass and would get angry if I didn't do as he expected of me. I used to feel intensely uncomfortable around them. Luckily they weren't physically violent but Joseph was Joseph would constantly give me death threats if I said I didn't want the relationship. Joseph was very violent. He would look angrily at me if I said one word that he did not approve of. This led to condensed trauma. All these experiences led me to gradually look at people with fear and suspicion. I felt like people wanted to harm me either physically or mentally. Anyone who tried to be my friend, I would gradually feel anxious or find ways to escape that friendship. I still experience significant anxiety around people. It's difficult for me to trust. I tend to freak out. Out of fear. I go into flight or fight mode immediately. I get paranoid. I get angry. I get fearful. These are obviously trauma signs. In real life I cannot even close to someone without experiencing extreme fear. I mean that's what you would feel if you felt hunted all your life. But slowly I'm trying to work on my trauma so that I can respond positively to people. I really don't think that it would completely heal. Yet I feel like I can do this. I can try at least. A traumatized brain responds with fear, derision and anger. I still get episodes where I freak out around people and they send me feeling terrified. By escaping people this is not going to work. It will only make my anxiety and trauma worse. I have to gradually expose myself to people in a safe way so I'll begin to learn to trust again. I can't suddenly talk to many people at once. That will be too much pressure. I have to slowly start with one person at a time. Also getting personal with someone is difficult for me. It sends me into anxiety again. Maybe an impersonal approach will help.. Like simply talking casually without much personal exchange can help me feel better and comfortable. For people with trauma it's important to not push too far or too much. It can have a reverse impact. It's best to go slow from your comfort zone.

In brief, Fours want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw and protect their vulnerabilities, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, and to attract a "rescuer" who will understand them. Fours do not want to restrain or lose touch with their emotions, to feel ordinary, to have their individuality unrecognized, to have their taste questioned, to be required at social settings, to follow impersonal rules and procedures, to spend time with people they perceive as lacking taste or emotional depth. Their Hidden Side On the surface, Fours can seem to suffer from chronic self-doubt and extreme sensitivity to others' reactions to them. But part of the reason for this is that Fours often hold a secret, inner image of who they feel they could be. They have an idea of the sort of person they would like to become, the kind of person who would be fantastically talented, socially adept, and intensely desired. In short, Fours come to believe that if they were somehow different from who they are, they would be seen and loved. Unfortunately, they constantly compare themselves negatively to this idealized secret self—their 'fantasy self." This makes it very difficult for Fours to appreciate many of their genuine positive qualities because they are never as wonderful as the fantasy. Much of the growth for type Four involves letting go of this idealized secret self so that they can see and appreciate who they actually are.

This is everything, but do you really see what it is? It is the infinite void giving a cry of joy absolutely wild. You have done 5meo many times, a lot of meditation. you have not opened the door of absolute emptiness and it has overflowed you with love? there's nothing, it's empty, but it's wild, it's joy, it's everything. it is an incomprehensible paradox, not simply: it is empty, there is nothing. of course there is no self in the ego sense, someone who does this or that, there is existence, and existence has a quality: love. since without him it would not exist. love is the cry of infinity when it sees itself, and I'm listening to it right now. hallelujah brothers!?? But yes, it absolutely impersonal, the death for the i that wants a better experience...but he gets a better experience, because he realizes of his illusory nature and accept his place, so he can relax and enjoy the experience

@VeganAwake @The0Self don't see it that way. there are no layers of ego and something underneath. the ego is a structure that gives a certain apparently shape to the substance of reality. If you erase this structure, there is absolute emptiness, nothing. but nothing is unlimited, infinite, and being so, it is absolutely everything that is possible to be, at this exact moment. and that is what we are if we erase the structures. To say that there is simply a void is an absurd nihilism, since it is obvious that the void is the ego itself and everything that exists. It is not a matter of logic but of living it. The infinity is impersonal because it is infinite, so without certain qualities, shapeless. but it exists and that is what we are, so in some way it can be said that the absolute total infinity, and that it is what we are, is a self in some way, in the sense that i am that

I'm a person who has struggled with boundaries for the longest time, I thought I would offend my friends and acquaintances if I ever said something. I became very submissive over time, submitting to everyone's demands. I thought that being selfish was a bad thing because that's what my mom had taught me, every time I did something for myself I was made to feel guilty Long story short I went through many changes this year and one of those changes was to implement boundaries, confront people on their behavior, not put up with shit and find my own peace. So far so good, I have come a long way and I have become successful at doing this finally. I have learned to become a little more selfish and not let others vulture on me. How did I achieve this? 1) First is to build your confidence to be able to say no Try it. Say a flat out no. This is for confidence building. If someone is offended, don't take responsibility for their feelings. Learn that true friends don't get offended and true people don't play victim to your basic needs. My ex boyfriend used to make a big deal if I slept off after a rough day at work. See? Don't allow such people in your life because they're only looking to meet their own needs at your expense. People who genuinely care about you won't throw a tantrum over you wanting your space. 2) be aware of what you want. Be more self aware. Ask yourself questions. Investigate your own needs and limits. This way you already know how much you can give to someone in terms of resources and time. 3) Be direct and use a tiny amount of social tact. This is a bit tricky. Often when we are too direct, people are hurt. I used to be indirect. If you give excuses about why you can't socialize, you'll always keep finding more excuses. For example if you said, "hey, I can't attend the party, because I have work to do." This works in the moment but then you have to keep giving the same excuse every time someone invites you. Instead be direct yet non offensive like, "hey, I generally do not prefer attending parties. You have a good time." in this manner you end it for good and the person doesn't bug you again. Don't say anything like, "I don't have time for you, " that's too harsh and personal. Always make direct statements without making it too personal. Use "I" in an affirmative and assertive way, for example instead of saying "why are you asking this?" simply state - "I don't like answering such questions." this way you put the burden of your boundaries being respected on the other person by stating yourself assertively and affirmatively. But instead of saying "I don't like/want to answer you," (that you make it too personal and without tact) make it more tactful and impersonal "I don't like answering such questions." The form of communication you use is absolutely important to convey the right impression and still maintain your social image intact. This is tricky and requires you using a lot of Nuance here and there. 4) asserting boundaries is absolutely important. Initially you can be soft. If the other person doesn't comply or tries to resist your polite request, then be firm about what you want and don't budge or submit. Also work on self esteem and people pleasing tendencies. I had low self esteem and I couldn't turn people down. Now I do it effortlessly. I have adopted the "I don't give a fuck attitude" and truly it works wonders. Once you stop caring what people think about you, you can finally rest easy and be yourself. And don't worry about socialization, because people who truly wish to respect your time and feelings will always be by your side. Those who are offended by you wanting your own space and time can Fuck Off. Good luck and have a nice day! (first time giving a structured answer.. Lol)

I'm a person who has struggled with boundaries for the longest time, I thought I would offend my friends and acquaintances if I ever said something. I became very submissive over time, submitting to everyone's demands. I thought that being selfish was a bad thing because that's what my mom had taught me, every time I did something for myself I was made to feel guilty Long story short I went through many changes this year and one of those changes was to implement boundaries, confront people on their behavior, not put up with shit and find my own peace. So far so good, I have come a long way and I have become successful at doing this finally. I have learned to become a little more selfish and not let others vulture on me. How did I achieve this? 1) First is to build your confidence to be able to say no Try it. Say a flat out no. This is for confidence building. If someone is offended, don't take responsibility for their feelings. Learn that true friends don't get offended and true people don't play victim to your basic needs. My ex boyfriend used to make a big deal if I slept off after a rough day at work. See? Don't allow such people in your life because they're only looking to meet their own needs at your expense. People who genuinely care about you won't throw a tantrum over you wanting your space. 2) be aware of what you want. Be more self aware. Ask yourself questions. Investigate your own needs and limits. This way you already know how much you can give to someone in terms of resources and time. 3) Be direct and use a tiny amount of social tact. This is a bit tricky. Often when we are too direct, people are hurt. I used to be indirect. If you give excuses about why you can't socialize, you'll always keep finding more excuses. For example if you said, "hey, I can't attend the party, because I have work to do." This works in the moment but then you have to keep giving the same excuse every time someone invites you. Instead be direct yet non offensive like, "hey, I generally do not prefer attending parties. You have a good time." in this manner you end it for good and the person doesn't bug you again. Don't say anything like, "I don't have time for you, " that's too harsh and personal. Always make direct statements without making it too personal. Use "I" in an affirmative and assertive way, for example instead of saying "why are you asking this?" simply state - "I don't like answering such questions." this way you put the burden of your boundaries being respected on the other person by stating yourself assertively and affirmatively. But instead of saying "I don't like/want to answer you," (that you make it too personal and without tact) make it more tactful and impersonal "I don't like answering such questions." The form of communication you use is absolutely important to convey the right impression and still maintain your social image intact. This is tricky and requires you using a lot of Nuance here and there. 4) asserting boundaries is absolutely important. Initially you can be soft. If the other person doesn't comply or tries to resist your polite request, then be firm about what you want and don't budge or submit. Also work on self esteem and people pleasing tendencies. I had low self esteem and I couldn't turn people down. Now I do it effortlessly. I have adopted the "I don't give a fuck attitude" and truly it works wonders. Once you stop caring what people think about you, you can finally rest easy and be yourself. And don't worry about socialization, because people who truly wish to respect your time and feelings will always be by your side. Those who are offended by you wanting your own space and time can Fuck Off. Good luck and have a nice day! (first time giving a structured answer.. Lol)

I don't know for sure either, but I think about it along these lines: The I-am-ness is something that is completely impersonal right? Impersonal in the sense that it is the only "thing" that is unchanging, while everything that appears in it is constantly changing, appearing and disappearing. It is also the only "thing" that is not distinct from anything else, it doesn't have any boundary that separates itself into "me" and "not me", or "this" and "that". In this case, wouldn't it be plausible that this sense of being/I-am-ness would be eternal, timeless and everpresent? Since it seems to be the only place anything ever appears in. I think the idea of some kind of structure or personal identity going onto another life or some place after death is implausible, but that deep I-am-ness/beingness could be transcendent of death in the sense that it is already always existing everywhere and cannot even conceive of death, since death always requires a limited identity that has seemingly differentiated itself from that beingness into something seemingly separate. No boundaries = No death

That's really a good point & reminds me of the phrase "ignorance is bliss". And what's crazy is although enlightenment is usually described as an impersonal experience, it's simultaneously very personal in the sense that every experience is different. Some seem to have an open receptiveness to it, and it can seem quite ordinary while others experience life shattering or debilitating reactions. Even heard it described as a terrifying realization. It's like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get. Here it could be described as shockingly ordinary and simultaneously extraordinary but completely unexpected. In a weird way it feels like death and rebirth yet it's recognized no one is living it. ?

Um... hello. I don't even know how to justify the "life" I have created for myself. Honestly it is so ridiculous (and sad) that I cannot fathom that "I" did it, nor that it is actually happening. Current life situation/backround: - hyper religous mom + criminal narc father - basically what set fire to the gasoline was Corona, taking my one and only real life responsibility from me: school. No more meaningless small talk and homework, no routine. Just homeschool and rotting for 6 months -> Full on Depression and Depersonalization got triggered (no emotions, all my memories feel distant and impersonal) which makes studying significantly harder. - filled my mind with all sorts of delusional trash, including Leo's videos. I desperately wanted to figure out the "meaning" of life. Well I got to the intellectual bottom of it and I did not enjoy what I saw. [even went to a clairvoyant priest in Ukraine who just starred into my eyes and told me I should not have read any of this lol ] - I have pretty much fully resigned, gave up trying to achive something like finishing school or making a singular friend - i go to therapy but it is so useless because I have no routine (or anything really) going for me - mother went to tarot card lady who said that everything would turn out okay for me and I fully trusted her. Well, none of it came true. This really fucked me up even further - all I see is contradiction upon contradiction TDLR: wasted my life, turning 19 in a few days, criminal refugee family, no friends , not exactly a good future in store for me Questions 1. How do I get rid of Depersonalization? 2. Am I beyond help? 3. What would you do? 4. Is it true that deep down we always know what we should do but we are too afraid to do it so we just don't? - Katy

That’s really funny because the exact thing the teaching is refuting is the exact thing that facilitated my Awakening/Enlightenment… ? Here I am still meditating like a mofo totally aware of it’s ultimate uselessness, a poster child for Neo Advaitans on what not to do, yet having seen beyond the need to let go or not let go. Reality still holds impersonal curiosity, so away it goes ?

Shitty feeling thoughts are like a really clingy piece of plastic. You know, the really thin clear kind they wrap things in sometimes and it's like... so charged statically that it just clings to you? The more violent your efforts become to rid yourself of the harmless thing, the less effective your efforts are and the more hilarious the scene becomes... to anyone but you. You don't realize that you are what's keeping it charged. You are what's attracting it. Except there's no plastic and no you. It's not personal which thoughts seem stuck to us. It's not a personal failing. Just some impersonal static electricity. Seems like we're one of those prideful, pretentious looking cats and some asshole dressed us up in a really demeaning costume. We're just like, "Get it OFF, get it off!" https://www.pinterest.com/pin/465981892668468700/ Liberation is not about getting out of the ridiculous costume. It's realizing you dressed yourself. And it's funny. And impersonal. We could liberate the world through cat memes. We will not become higher consciousness. This already was it, the pinnacle of human civilization and achievement, cat memes, right here, right meow.

Shitty thoughts are like a really clingy piece of plastic. You know, the really thin clear kind they wrap things in sometimes and it's like... so charged statically that it just clings to you? The more violent your efforts become to rid yourself of the harmless thing, the less effective your efforts are and the more hilarious the scene becomes... to anyone but you. You don't realize that you are what's keeping it charged. You are what's attracting it. Except there's no plastic and no you. It's not personal which thoughts seem stuck to us. It's not a personal failing. Just some impersonal static electricity. Seems like we're one of those prideful pretentious cats and some asshole dressed us up in a really demeaning costume. "Get it OFF, get it off!" https://www.pinterest.com/pin/465981892668468700/ Liberation is not about getting out of the ridiculous costume. It's realizing you dressed yourself. And it's funny. And impersonal. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2782520/Is-new-Grumpy-Cat-Meet-Garfi-fluffy-feline-furrowed-brow-makes-look-permanently-angry.html We will liberate the world through cat memes. We will not become higher consciousness. This already was it, the pinnacle of human civilization and achievement, cat memes, right here, right now.

That’s the thing, you aren’t being honest. If the conditions of your life radically shifted, you’d be suffering. The fact that you're ignorant of this is itself suffering. All the stories you say and tell on an internet forum don’t mean shit when the real rubber hits the road. By transcend fear I mean let fear filter through experience without experience fighting with itself, which entails the cessation of resisting the resistance towards fear. Feeling fear so deeply it’s seen to be utterly empty, fleeting, free, and impersonal, along with death and pain, an authentic (honest) seeing that reality was never fighting with itself. Thinking the work is torturous is just a game of the ego mind. The ego mind wants nothing more than to avoid the conditions which give rise to its end. This is beautiful, wondrous work. And in fact, there is no choice of whether it gets done or not. All karma. The act of sitting down to meditate is a movement of reality, the grace of God. I feel incredibly fortunate to have been bestowed this grace - it is not only for my benefit, but the benefit of all sentient beings. If you think you’re done, can get away with believing your way out of it, cool. There may not be consequences now or in this lifetime even, but this too shall pass. All the love.

you do not exist. seriously, you think so, but no. there is only the impersonal reality, flowing. absolutely everything we think about is mental constructs. there is no war, no hitler, or anything, only fantasies of our ego that imagines that it is a person who is thinking about war. a trick. all of that is the same as a bunch of flies eating shit. reality in motion and we, the non-existent, making sense of everything, and believing that we are real. crazy?

And that Nothing is Real Impersonal "ME". Right?

Obviously it has never happened that your ego really dissolves, and the infinite that you are is revealed. otherwise you wouldn't say that. the ego are limits, if the limits disappear, infinity is revealed. This is not even remotely an idea or a belief, it is something inconceivable to the mind. infinity is scary because it reveals a truth: "you" do not exist, you are an illusion. what you are is totally impersonal and accepting it takes time. I'm on it

Why I enjoyed 6 pillars of self esteem: - I felt good that Branden included a lot of nuance in his wisdom. He didn't just put out a principle and said it was the truth. He pressed on context which I admired because context is key in the world of self improvement - it was really nice to see when he gave advice that he spoke much about the traps and misconceptions. Often in self improvement I feel advice gets too linear! Almost like they can't see outside the bubble of the advice they are giving. Just very unholsitic - felt well studied, well researched and well understood. Branden remains unbiased , with an understanding he doesn't have the absolute truth and is always willing to append on his wisdom - goes in depth on the principles. I think though he went in depth I have a lot of questions still and I think it could be explained even better. - a lot of great definitions founded in wisdom What is the connection between the practice and what does it have to do with self esteem? How are they interlinked? Why is self esteem so illusive to the psychology community? How come definitions of it aren't so concrete? Why is self esteem comprised of two definitions? How can one thing be 2?? Why did the program feel so impersonal? I honestly felt he needed way more questions to help engage the reader to understand the idea more. Worksheets Personal questions: What is self esteem and why is it important? What I would have liked to see: - I was a little dissatisfied with the practical program. Though it did feel somewhat comprehensive I wish there was a classroom like with TAs or a cohort or something. When I am stuck or confused, I have nobody to go to

Damn dude, this is really tearing you up I see. First off, I'm sorry man and much love to you. There is a life lesson here to be learned and I know you will learn it and get stronger and better yourself with the wisdom you gain from it. I can see how bad this can get now. For me it's more like a minor annoyance or one or two good solitary cries from total freedom and acceptance of this aspect of my partner I guess for me what my limiting beliefs are: "Was I as special as she said I was to her or just another number?" Her words are ever flowing with the most magnificent love, in and out of bed ,when I am with her. I know you can really trust a woman's words when she is speaking deeply from the heart. Sometimes the more logistical stuff like saying she wants to move in will change, but the sort of core of where her words are coming from are true so I do feel how deeply she loves me and how crazy I drive her. I think it's more so a trick of the mind that wants to poke at this and create doubt and fear of the uncertainty brought about by the ever changing flow of life. Deep down it's poking a belief that I'm "flawed", "weak", " a chump", all synonyms for a bad person (self judgement) and I'm in the process of letting go of that. Second I would say is sort of the beliefs I've picked up through the culture. Stuff like how women should be good girls, clean, not a slut, etc. Thing is, I've found all the really sexy, beautiful, fun, passionate club chicks that basically all these pick up guys dream of getting are not going to fit some puritanical role. They will have explored their sexuality to varying degrees. It's not out of spite of me or any personal reason that has anything to do with me, but because they are enjoying their lives and their bodies. I'm sure it's a ton of fun being a beautiful woman. It's quite impersonal. It does also sting a bit to know I missed out on a ton of action in my early age (18-27). I was never incel but was your average guy rarely getting action, playing video games, girlfriend once in a blue moon, etc. I think as men we age like fine wine and still have plenty of opportunity to have fun, learn and grow into our 40s. I still feel plenty young to have more experiences like this and my young years where I wasn't good with women were foundational for getting to where I am an aged bottle of red wine now.

All awareness is empty and impersonal. The personification of “my” awareness vs. “your” awareness is an illusion of the ego claiming credit for being the authority and central point of reality. Each perspective point of vision is a mere reflection on the surface of the eye and has the same claim to awareness as a water drop on a leaf. The human body which holds a reflection is inseparable from the unified field of consciousness and thusly intact with it. We can witness two different and still impersonal perspective points even within one body by covering just the left eye and then covering just the right eye. It is the same for a body on one side of the world compared to a body on the other side of the world, same for a deer looking at you and you looking at a deer. It’s just reflections of light. The claim of ownership over the awareness splits one from reality, placing their sense of self within the body somewhere (usually in the head) looking out through a distorted lens of perception based on beliefs carried with the body due to a claim that their past conditioning is “them”. If awareness is depersonalized from the “self”, it is seen clearly that the awareness actually lies ON the object of awareness, not within the body. There are no two bodies to be aware with.

@justfortoday The first time I became aware of this was several years ago while I was driving. It was a very profound experience. Have you found anyone discussing this topic in more depth? It actually can go further than that, still in the dream but progressing up the story of consciousness expansion — in the same way that the universe appears to calibrate itself around you continuously, actually much more than that is apparently calibrated... The “causality bubble” is also recalibrating itself around you, such that the past is continuously imagined as what it must’ve been in order for this appearance “now” to make sense. All of it completely impersonal and without condition, meaning, purpose, value, intention, or limit — which is why there are no bounds for what is “calibrated” as described; everything that could be thought of as real is only an appearance, and the status of reality, if it could even be known that there were one, is utterly unknowable and infinite. ...Total story btw, as there’s nothing other than what appears, and by necessity... but that’s what can appear to happen.

It's not something that's remembered, it's a clear recognition that this seemingly real self is a complete illusion. It's a completely personal experience with an impersonal outcome. So-called positive and negative emotions and feelings can still arise but they are no longer identified with by the sticky self illusion claiming ownership over all experience.(ie. my emotional baggage). And yes of course human problems still arise like needing money to purchase food and a place to live. Nothing matters transcends the self illusion that would immediately ask the question "so then what do I get out of it" or "so how does this help me". It's the recognition there isn't a ME, there only seems to be. ❤