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Another thing I just thought of! Psychedelics will reveal your truest desires. You will be forced to be more authentic. And in turn, this will set you free. Feel how liberating it is to be in tune with what you want. Don’t let your ego (or other people’s egos) get in the way, you have the power to act on your deepest desires. The liberation you will feel as you become more authentic will bring you to tears. You will realize how much you hold yourself back. You also realize how simple it is to let go and follow your bliss. Really focus on this, the psychedelic will teach you these lessons if you genuinely intend on learning them.

Once detached from outcome, freedom and bliss is discovered.

wow. thank you for that. thank you for this friday-morning anticipation booster of this bliss <3 wow... #Shivers

Hello beautiful forum member, here is my words for you. In my eyes you are the wholeness and perfection of the grace and divinity of the oneness and love of the joy and bliss of the sunshine and rainbows and of the beauty, peace, and bright bright radiance that only an entire universe dedicated to love could begin to describe. I am saying this, because it's true. You are worthy to be loved so much more than the people in your life give you. In every moment you deserve more love, and support not less. Wishing you the best, it can only get better from here. You're at the right place. @Charlotte really cares about you, and all of us on this forum ☺️

Conditional Love We are so used to conditional love in this world. People at a flick of the switch can hurt us, and become angry. We are afraid of being neglected or hurt if we ourselves open our hearts to this moment, and to the people around us. I understand, I am going through this with you. When you focus on your heart, anything not aligned with unconditional love sticks out like a sore thumb Whether in our emotions, thoughts, or through peoples words; conditional love stands out, and really does have a sting. But I assure you, that if you have the courage to remain in your heart in your greatest moments of discomfort, pain, or suffering; the sting will be less intense and soon reality will reflect back the love that you have remained in. When I walk next to people I feel a need to talk to them to end the awkward silence. I go into my thoughts. We don't have to anymore. Since when has being in your mind resulted in consistency deep, intimate, and gratifying conversations with people you have met? For me, none. When I was a child I had this ability where I could surrender into my heart, and allow myself to speak without trying to speak. It lead to the most loving conversations I've ever had. I said words that a lot of educated adults didn't know, and that surprised myself every time. What came out was completely spontaneous and effortless, and perfect. There was no awkwardness, and the conversation turned into a state of flow. And when I was 15 I somehow lost this ability. I became focused on pleasing people, and saying what they wanted to hear. I became needy with people (my happiness was determined by their responses), and lost much of my creativity. I don't know what happened for this to occur other than the need to be accepted, yet somehow all of my trust in my heart, and abilities disappeared. This is why I write this now. I'm relearning how to speak from my heart, create from my heart, and live from my heart. This intuitive ability is starting to come back again, as I stop focusing so much on my thoughts and just be hear in this moment. As I relearn to seek fulfilment from my heart, and not the circumstances that I have no control over; I am allowing myself to loosen control over myself, to release all of my people-pleasing filters, and surrender into the hearts bliss which I felt strongly 4 years ago. It all leads back to the beginning of what I said. The conditional love that is seen everywhere hurt me so much that I started to put on a mask that other people wanted; but counterintuitively I lost all the intimacy I felt when with people and I became as hard as a rock emotionally. It's all changing now, and thank God I remembered about this love 2 years ago when I started this journey when I was furtherest away from love. I hope this memory helps you remember the time when you were guided by your heart more than your logical mind. Remember the love. Be the love now, don't turn into a stone cold rock! Think too about all these years you've spent in your mind: have they really brought you a great amount of love? Maybe it's time to move back into your heart, and trust it even if it's awkward, even if it means you lose your job, because that's where we all belong. Thank you for reading.

Some people require a idea of an "other" to tap into the higher-self-mind/greater intelligence, others do not. This happens because most people wouldn't believe it thus block out the connection to their greater intelligence so they use channeling "another" as a tool to make it more believable for them or they simply wouldn't believe themselves because they never had direct experience with source to make it more obvious of the true nature of self. When i was younger I had a friend who would do MDMA with me from time to time and end up getting messages or "higher downloads" if you will, and as this intelligence came through, it felt like i am talking to myself, most of the communication was in perfect synergy and more telempathic than i experience with most people on a day to day basis. Like an Enlightened Being talking to himself, all knowing, all understanding pure in bliss. Of course the substance would raise my frequency as well but far more minimal compared to my friend as i have already had multiple awakenings and become more whole to my true self/higher mind that it was just a more natural state of being for me as when we are sober i could never talk to my friend about stuff that deep. Nowhere near. What was happening was, this intelligence was the persons higher-mind/self coming through portraying as another being as the psychedelic allowed the person to let go to such a degree it taps into its higher-mind/self but not appearing to my friend as the higher mind but a higher being from another place, another world. This for my friends level of consciousness makes it more believable or else it would shut it down and not accept/believe it because lack of direct experience with ALL THAT IS. I knew what was happening but i never said a word because i understand this is what some people not as evolved in consciousness require to make it convincing for the ego to trust the process and let it be or else the connection would be automatically shutdown. Also if you want to understand what the "channeling state" is to the simplest degree i highly suggest watching this video.

7.15.18 Greetings to everyone on this Actualized.org Community Forum Out of darkness, into the light. From the grossest ignorance into the bliss of transcendental realization. So once upon a time there was a Phable. Has anyone read Lois Lowry's book "The Giver"? More or less The Giver was the only one in the entire tribe who saw in color, and everyone else only saw in black and white. He was the repository of emotions for the tribe. The Giver felt all the emotions that the Tribe would not or could not feel. That is a good description about how I feel about my role in life. I am a storykeeper. I have kept a journal of my entire journey over the last 18 years. 7.17.18 Buddha said what?!!! So Buddha is translated as having said something along the lines of "Attachment to desire is the cause of all suffering. Abandon desire, abandon suffering!" And so that is quite the conundrum. However with some thought we can realize that total lack of desire is not lack of suffering either because if you refuse to breathe, drink, eat, if you don't move enough not to get bedsores, or if you refuse to defecate and urinate away from your body far enough so that you don't get sick from your own biological excretions and if you fail to move your body out of harms way if such circumstances arise, then you will suffocate, die of dehydration, starve, your flesh will dissolve, the stench will be unbearable and you will not avert harm... so total lack of desire is not total lack of suffering either. But lets say that you just maintain the basic human biological processes at their most simple level, only that which is absolutely required for maintaining homeostasis, and you just sat there at the most simple level, then you would not suffer very much altogether, you would have very few responsibilities or demands upon one. Many of the burdens that we associate with life in the modern world would not be yours. But in the modern society we have many vain and preposterous desires in addition to this most basic human maintenance. And every new desire added onto the basic foundation of actual human "needs" requires effort and energy to manifest and these desires will bring suffering if one does not gain them. Inevitably if one does no emotional alchemy then one gets angry to the same degree that they had desire for the thing denied. The vain desire itself, the striving, seeking, plotting, planning, struggling, conniving, the disappointment at not achieving ones desire, & the anger that follows are all energetically expensive. One must digest extra food to do all those extra activities. And if one is thwarted then it constitutes a tremendous waste of energy all together, and the anger and frustration can actually be detrimental to a person on their own. Not only did one not get what one wants, but one is afflicted and degraded by the entire process on a number of levels. Every desire we can surrender gives us energy to do something else. The fewer desires one has, the less the external environment can control and manipulate a person. The 5 Regulative Principles of Religious Life are generally : no illicit sex, no intoxication, no gambling, no meat eating, and no stockpiling or hoarding of gold. If one follows these principles one will have alot of time to meditate and to do service. There is a story I heard about Alexander "The Great" when he was marching around conquering the world. At a certain point he met a man sitting beneath a tree in a loincloth. Alexander stopped his army and went and sat with the man. Alexander asked the man if there was anything that Alexander could give him or do for him. And the man said, "No, I am fine the way I am am. There is nothing that I need." And Alexander was astounded at this and he said, "You know what? I am the master of all I survey but you have something that I want. I have the extent of my entire empire but you have inner peace." I don't know if this is a true story or not but all in all its a good allegory to illustrate this sort of Buddhic reasoning I am describing.

This is getting uncanny. Every video this guy makes he keeps saying the same thing; be in the heart, and your state of awareness. I will do this to the best of my ability from now on. I will do it for the benefit of the world, for the people on here, for my family, for my old friends who I drifted away from as I became more of myself and most importantly, for myself so that I can create a life full go love, bliss, and happiness. Now is the time for change. This journal shall hold me accountable, and inspire those who want to know what is possible by simply resting in the heart. @lightfruit Thanks my friend. I'm really glad you have benefited from it all. There is only love.

What would happen to a stage red or blue person if they somehow received full emotional mastery and enters a constant state of bliss and joy. Hard to think they would carry on being a warlord or inforcing religion (now they no longer have fear of disobeying god). So how would that person start acting tomorrow. What stage would they be in? I know that Ken Wilber said in his interview with batgap that ‘waking up’ (enlightenment), ‘growing up’ (spiral dynamics) and ‘cleaning up’ (emotional mastery) where separate things and mostly unrelated. But when you think deeper, you can’t imagine a guy who is in constant bliss chasing money or attacking people. What stage would such a guy be in. What are your opinions?

I am reborn. I had a hair cut, a cleansing shower, and lovely deep massage ? To honour this transformation, I choose to focus on the love in my heart as much as possible; and do one thing everyday that I enjoy like smiling at myself in the mirror. I choose all of reality over some fragments of it. I surrender to my heart, softly, and gently a little bit more than yesterday. I want to see where this love takes me. I don’t mind fear anymore, when it arises I embrace it with my entire self. It is such a beautiful feeling when you surrender. And when I surrender, all of these emotions reminiscently disappear; and all I’m left with is bliss, and sometimes this vast emptiness that I enjoy spending time in. I am not fighting against anything. I am embracing everything with unconditional love. That’s my purpose here. I love you all so so much. May the light fill your eyes today. This is the start of a more refined, and blissful lifestyle from the seed to the flowers. From the heart all the way to creation. And only one thing need be done, that of surrender.

the moment you perceive enlightenment and desire it, its done, you're enlightened you desire it, you know it, you believe in it you carry a divine vibration like a beacon sending a bliss-stress signal through the entire universe, every atom you can go back to chopping wood and carrying water the universe is coming for you

I share once more my experience in my blooming of enlightenment I want to share that I haven't done any psychedelics in months, any and all changes mentioned here flow naturally and are intimately rythmed to the evolution of consciousness as it flows I find myself once again on the verge of infinity I toke a walk outside and it felt like I'm on holyday in some exotic country, this is the city I have lived in my entire life the neighborhood I've lived in for more then a decade, and yet again, after a single night of sleep everything is renewed, and I am in awe, reality has evolved we're talking about the evolution of visuals at the rate of hundred times the intensity of a huge dose of mushroom for me to see what I see today compared to yesterday, I would have to have taken about 20 tabs of lsd back before all this consciousness work, somehow trying to situate and share the degree of change here for anyone who has done mushrooms or lsd yet there is no discomfort, no rush, its like I havent moved, I'm still me, completely sober, somewhat cause these changes can be pretty overwhelming imagine the sheer joy of people the size of mountains, moving about across huge plains, their hair as wavy as the ocean, looking into eyes the size of a small planet, with eye colors never seen before, so vivid so alive that is the evolution of space evolution of being, imagine seeing the neck of another person, and feeling this a hundred times more then you ever even used to feel your own neck inside your own body, feeling being their hands, their head, the ears, the torso, the body of other people feeling them being alive as much as much as you feel yourself alive I dont know how far Ive come but I suspect that the mere size of my finger is as lengthy as an entire mile back before I enlightened, this is how it feels to experience more space in your reality and its pretty mindblowing humans legitly look like gods, and I feel like olympus has come down to my city the human bodies , the human faces, the human expressions, are so divine, so cool, so elegant, so powerful, so magnificent it is undescribable, it looks like people are gods but aliens at the same time, so mysterious so unique, so organic yet divine, if I could have ever imagined what gods looked like, this it, and the gods are my fellow neighbours, the people at the supermarket, in the city I walk and I feel "Ive never seen a kid like that" " this is the first time I see a woman like that" "wow so thats what an old man is now" I can guarantuee to anyone that heaven on earth is a reality it is really not about what we do, or where we are, enlightenment is reality itself, and pure happiness and bliss is present in every atom of reality, to awaken that, it does not matter where you are or what you do, you are always with reality, your room could grow the size of a continent just to make you smile and feel the magic of life, that is infinite love in its magic every human being could be the first man or woman you've ever seen so creatively and infinutely that reality evolves, every voice you hear, every sentence, could be the first sentence you've ever heard, it could be a type of human voice so divine you've never heard such a voice until now, life literally being created now, expanding now, evolving now this is enlightenment as I experience it personally

Do what you think will bring you the most excitement and joy, if you have to force yourself to do something it means you are not at the level of the activity yet. for example Ill take a meditation retreat this summer for 10 days and im extremely excited for that, im not dreading it whatsoever. im also excited to read books. if it doesnt feel right for you dont do it, follow your bliss, that way you will get to the high level stuff naturally.

seems to me like you enlightened. there is nothing wrong with your life as it is what do you seek with enlightenment? with trying to be present? you are perhaps feeling the emptiness of seeking, and looking back on your life, it doesnt look that bad doesnt it so enjoy what you have! dont let spiritual ego judge how you lived and make you believe it is shameful to go back there is nothing wrong with how you lived, and if you accept that you can integrate the qualities of your previous lifestyle, one can never go back, but if you do not judge, you will take with you the best of your past self, the things that felt good yes maybe your previous lifestyle had its faults, its about being mature, it had aspects that were not very conscious but it certainly had qualities, if you judge it as all bad and even degenerative you reject the qualities of your past, it only makes sense that not everything from your previous lifestyle can be bad, its so black and white, and even now to your spiritual life style there are flaws and there are qualities the key is again not judging, not ping ponging from black to white, absorb qualities from spiritual lifestyle, merge them with qualities from non-spiritual lifestyle I feel I enlightened when I seeked so hard to ascend I went through horrible stuff related to psychedelics, and it went so far because I wanted to enlighten so much, I got lost in hell and when I made it back from there to a degree of normacly I thought "wait a minute, this whole enlightenment quest is hundred times worse then how my life was before, a hundred times worse, whats the point of all this? I'll gladly take my miserable human life back, "enlightenment and heaven can go f*ck themselves" at this point I put myself above enlightenment, I realized I needed to feel good right now, not at the end of a mystic path of learning, dedication, devotion, meditation, sacrifice, endurance, hard work, hell no, Now thats the priority, no enlightenment or infinite bliss will make me sacrifice how I feel now since then I've made "progress" but what really happened is the natural order things naturally flow, bloom and evolve enlightenment is certain and it is natural, it happens and if flows with you, at your own pace, like a seed blooming, a child growing, there is no effort or mechanization, let things flow enlightenment is very intimate, dare I say that enlightenment loves you, it doesn't want you to feel worse, ever it flows when you let nature flow, how you feel right now matters, you pay attention to feeling good now do not pursue things that will make you feel good later enlightenment happens now, not two steps from here, not one step from here not 10 minutes of struggling from here, not 10 seconds of hard work and holding on from here, not one second of sacrifice from here... it is now it is here it is good and satisfying not even enlightenment should get in the way of you feeling good and satisfied about yourself in this moment, thats enlightenment in my opinion get off the path and be home, unless you enjoy the path! all is well

@Anna1 no, I was extremely happy being uniquely me, not better or worse than anything just me authentically always and I had made a point to be as authentic as I possibly could to my resonance always living in the moment all day, then I started having mystical experiences and crazy synchronicities and amazing bliss non stop and literally it felt like I had superpowers because the universe started essentially delivering opportunities to me, which I started to research and learned was the law of attraction and high vibrations etc. I started leaning more and more about spirituality then found out about “enlightenment” which seems all about “you’re nothing not unique” etc and I started to feel bad and my quality of life diminished.

TL;DR Yes and no I can't say im escaping negative feelings, but i had long and hard look into what motivates me. I noticed that those chores i have no problem doing brought a vague smile on my face, and when i looked into that emotion i noticed that, for example meditation which i recently picked up is linked with strong positive understanding and picture of what happens when i build enough awareness (I felt an absolute bliss and happiness when i was walking in forest and i just crave to tap into that feeling) When i thought what motivates me to learn poker first thing that came to my mind were the positive and happy feelings that i had when i was brainstorming poker play with my best friend and actually found out that i have excellent poker face and good sense of reading body signs. But then i thought what motivates me to learn poker at web-casino, and it was "i want to stop losing money" and when i started to look into my motivation to use the material i have been listening and watching to stop losing money, i noticed that its dull and boring as fuck. So, in a sense i don't have positive motivation to learn internet casino, but i do have positive motivation to learn poker with my friend, which i think is more about my passion to psychology and healthy competition than making money Dude, you saved a lot of my time and frustration! Can you recommend a book that can help teach me to build positive motivation around things that i feel are necessary for me? EDIT: Along with the motivation mega-thread, i'll be looking into that too

Great post Robert! To me, a true hero is a person who is fully engaged in his myth while knowing it's just a game. As for Joe Campbell, he really seems to have been quite advanced. Take for example these two quotes from Pathways to Bliss : ''There is no experience of life that doesn't have dualism and yet doesn't have the experience of oneness behind the experience of dualism.'' ''Normally, Yahweh is the god of a moral order where there is good and evil. But look at his justification of his actions to Job, and you realize this is a power beyond morality.''

Hello. My name is Grant, I'm 20, and I'm from Vegas. I've been meditating daily for over a year, and practicing Kriya for 3 months. My psychedelic experience includes over a dozen trips mainly on LSD or 2-cb. My family owns a cabin in Utah situated on an acre of lush woodlands next to a large flowing creek. It's beautiful and serene- the perfect place for meditation, contemplation, relaxation, and tripping. Being my first retreat, I just wanted to get a taste of solitude, longer periods of meditation, take a break from marijuana, think about life, and relax into being. I used my phone for an audiobook (Frankenstein for an online class), to record some song ideas (I sing), and to take some pictures of flowers (I study herbal science/naturopathy). I read a dream-hacking booklet and a bit of a kriya book. Took a few notes. Fapped once mid-retreat. Practiced hatha yoga daily. No other distractions. I ate once a day at 9pm. I think this helped encourage that feeling of emptiness throughout the day, and idk about you guys but I can't meditate for shit after I eat. Techniques: kriya 3x a day, vipassina, and a novelty of mine: espresso shot then blindfolded reclined dark room meditation concentrating on nothingness. *** 4-aco-DMT trip report on Day 7 Day 1-3 Meditated a total of 5-6 hours a day Monkey mind slowed down a lot by the third day. It was really funny seeing how addicted I am to just doing things. "Grant go work out, go watch a movie, Grant ask that cashier out and fuck her, go find some weed, go read that entire book on bird identification". Many semi-mindful breaks wandering the property or wildlife watching. I was pretty exhausted with meditation by the last sit of each day. Day 4 (July 4th) I woke up feeling dull and empty as hell, sat down for vipassina, but couldn't be fucked meditating at all. I just rolled over on the carpet, stared at the wall, and fell asleep for a nice long depression nap. Then I had a lucid dream I was giving Leo a ride somewhere around Vegas, that actually brought my spirits up lol. In the dream he was taking suggestions so I said make a trippy video game and host workshops in Vegas. That reminded me of a crazy telepathic dream I had before.. Which inspired me to look into a dream-tripping booklet I brought. I'll be testing some "oneirogens" soon. If you're interested: http://oneironauticum.com/oneirogens/ Lots of insights and ideas about my life today. I took a couple notes. The day before leaving for my retreat I met a really amazing girl, so I couldn't help thinking about her. ***I practiced only Nadi, Ujjayi, and Talabya Kriya until this day- where I finally started pranayama. I think this was integral to my breakthrough 3 days later. That night was 4th of July, and in Brain Head they put on a huge fireworks show. I was going to go see it, but took a wrong turn on the way there from my cabin... I was feeling out of it... I ended up pulling over next to a lonely lake, where I decided to just sit and eat on the quiet shore. I remember pondering existence as I watched billions of stars explode the sky above. This contrasted deeply with the distant festive commotion and colorful lights from parties across the lake. I can't quite describe how I felt, but I'm glad it turned out that way. Day 5 Dosed 15mg of 4-aco-DMT. I allergy tested this substance a week prior, but this was my first real trip attempt. After about an hour of coming up and squirming around Martin Ball symmetrical-style on the floor/couch, trippy thoughts, slight visuals, I then leveled off and realized this was a small dose for me. Spent the rest of the day giggling and being grateful as hell for my life. It was wonderful to just enjoy doing nothing, smiling and laughing from realizing I can be perfectly happy by myself, without requiring anything or anyone. Being grateful for self-actualization/consciousness and how I could of just as easily been completely ignorant to this work, living an entirely different life. Walking around appreciating flowers, trees, deers and squirrels, balancing on the smooth rocks in the creek, being in the moment, doing whatever I want. Day 6 Kriya sessions, not much other meditation. Lots of life contemplation.. Time passes so slow. Every 3 days feels like a week. Went on a beautiful hike around a lake. I've never felt this lucid/peaceful in my entire life. I felt extremely healthy. ***During one of my Kriya sessions I noticed my hands involuntarily tense in a certain way but I thought it was nothing. Day 7 (Trip Report on 7/7)** Today I tripped again. I wanted to account for tolerance plus add a little more. 4-aco is one of the few psychedelics I don't get nauseous on. Also from memory of my one trip on shrooms, I can concur that 4-aco-DMT gives a similar or even identical flavor to that of mushrooms. 12:00- I drank 50mg 4-aco-DMT with some tea inclusive of lions mane, and took a hit from a CBD vaporizer to help with pre-trip anxiety. After dosing, I did my first Kriya routine of the day. It was pretty half assed because of anticipation of the trip. 12:30- I go outside and throw a big blanket out on the grass in the middle of the property. I lay down spread eagle, with the intention of coming up while watching the clouds and in nature. I lay in symmetry. Now unfolds the most amazing experience of my life to date. And I have had many beautiful psychedelic experiences, also scary mindfucks that I got a lot out of, but nothing compared to the awe and delight I got out of the next three hours. 1:00- After casually laying out enjoying the environment for about a half hour, I start coming up and notice the clouds start to swirl. I'm expecting a trip similar to my other outdoor experiences. Then just for fun and curiosity I start doing some spinal breathing, visualizing energy rising up through my chakras, ujjayi breaths. I focus on my third eye a little bit. I am ultra relaxed and have a strong intention to surrender and just be present. Within 2 minutes of doing this, my arms start to tense, my fingers start to situate into a certain mudra, and my eyes and awareness LOCK onto my third eye. There's no way I can accurately describe my amazement with what starts to happen. My hips suddenly start involuntarily shaking and bouncing, and I feel a lot of energy flaring from the bottom of my spine. As this begins to happen, I'm overcome by this wonderful feeling of awe and bliss. I mean BLISS!!!! Like I've never felt before- I start to laugh from amazement at the fact that my body is just moving by itself!? I have read about energy purges that psychedelics or kundalini activations can induce, but I've never experienced anything of the like- so it was really like WHOAAAA WTFFFF YESSSSSSS!!!!!!! My tongue involuntarily curls backward, and as this happens I start doing the most exorcist looking shit on the ground. I do all these symmetrical stretches: with my legs, arms, back, neck- all the while I am laughing my ASS off and CRYING tears of joy. Definitely looked possessed. I was very concerned with the chance of one of the neighbors (which were probably in earshot) disturbing me. But with that fear, I just surrendered more, and the more I let go of fear, the more energy would just geyser up from my abdomen. I experienced these EPIC HUGE yawns, where it would start at the base of my spine, then I'd feel an electric current go up through my neck at the top of the yawn, and my entire head and skull would violently vibrate as it felt like all the energy collected there. I have rudimentary experience with Kriya, kundalini energy, chakras, etc. and so during this time I really just kind of let my body do it's thing and intuitively went with the energy. Whenever it would sort of calm down, I would voluntarily breath into my abdomen, and the waves would start again. I didn't feel like I was tripping, which was odd- I felt very primal, but very myself, very centered in my nature it felt like, wild, ancestral, like being compelled by something "beyond me" even though it felt 100% me. In general my thoughts felt very integrated with my body, and my mind wasn't in control. It was observing, still commenting, but not distracting or compelling. Very very cool. I can see the appeal of being in a state like that all the time. Fractal CEVs At some point it starts pouring rain, but I didn't give a fuck, it felt great and completely in sync with the trip. I've never had a full body orgasm, but I would imagine it would be something like this haha. This went on for the ENTIRE trip - 3 hours straight of just blissful shaking, stretching, breathing, RELEASING. It was exhausting yet energizing, like sex. At some point I was compelled to sit up in full meditation posture, and the process continued. I did dozens of mudras, which blew my mind. I was also compelled to shove my tongue up my nasal pharynx with my fingers, and the instant it touched behind my uvulae an orgasmic wave surged up through my neck. Some spontaneous spitting and burping. Enormous feelings of release- I even noticed insecurities and odd childhood memories coming up. I just felt myself letting go of anything inauthentic and like zooming into my core. It was like I was letting pent up energy crack out, arise, then release and die. ***I've never felt so liberated in my life, but I should mention that all of this was completely in duality. I've never had a non-dual experience. But I am definitely looking forward to one. I am now extremely motivated to dive deeper into Kriya. 4:00- I finally stood up, and was hardly in control of my body. I pronounced this very regal posture, and my hands were guiding me and moving by themselves. I felt like I had just went through 100 therapy sessions, 100 spa sessions, 100 yoga sessions, and meditated for 100 hours. So freaking good, the best I've ever felt, like floating on clouds. 4:20- I went back to my cabin, noticed the time, and to my amazement my "hands" chose a tea and made it by themselves! My doing-mind was completely absent, I was just watching in awe. 4:45- I returned to voluntary control of my body, back to baseline, but still glowing with amazement. My evening Kriya session also engendered the same shaking energetic waves, and my eyelids fluttered upon focusing on my third eye. Day 8-9 Kriya Trip/K-activation integration Went on a couple beautiful hikes Clarity on some important life decisions, purpose, relationships Preparation for my return home the next morning, July 10th Overall there were many moments of extreme peace, tranquility, and lucidity. There were also many moments of restlessness, emptiness, and anxiety. I kept Kriya up everyday but gave up on other meditations after day 5. Definitely dicked around just wandering the cabin and property a lot, but I don't think that was a waste. This was a great introduction to retreats. It was very cool to get some actual results from this stuff. After all this was my first breakthrough experience I've ever had with anything energetic or spiritual. I'm happy it was such a positive release. From Leo's descriptions I assumed all of this work would be just a whole lot of shit dying and suffering to get results- and I'm sure that's especially true when it comes to non-dual things, which I know I am naive to, but I feel like this really grew me a lot and it wasn't like I had to kill myself for something to happen. But speaking of killing my self I really wanna try 5-meo now. Ever since that experience, my Kriya practice has been feeling powerful and looking really promising. I mean I JUST started with pranayama, but every session now I get involuntary movements and blatant awareness of energy that was absent prior to this experience. I also recently started Maha Mudra and am refining my routine through Santana Gamana's books. It's interesting that I didn't want weed at all on the retreat, but now that I'm back home I'm starting to want it to counteract stress from school and fam (my parents just told me 2 days ago they're getting divorced). I think keeping up kriya/meditation will be important for the coming future as I want to support them while keeping up with everything else I'm doing in life. Lastly, I now notice that throughout the day and especially during emotional experiences, my third eye just tingles a lot more. It's a very sensitive area that I become aware of all the time now. I would appreciate any advice, feedback, recommendations, criticisms, all that jazz. Would you call that a Kundalini activation? Thanks everyone!

@starsofclayThe phrase "unconditional love" is pointing to an experience that no words can describe. It is synonymous with the words God/Bliss/Source/Excitement/Joy; all of which point to this experience of unconditional love. Thus it cannot be defined in a language rooted in duality such as this one. Some enlightened masters don't speak for this reason because their silence communicates the truth of this experience more directly. To get to this experience, which all human beings are seeking and which is much more important than talking about enlightenment, is quite simple: anchor love and oneness. Follow your greatest joy, focus on your heart, being kind are all "methods" that withdraw your awareness back to the source of your being, that unconditional love, found within the secret chamber of the heart (as called in christianity) or the spiritual heart (as Yogi's call it). I highly recommend you research this phenomenon for deeper understanding. Much love my friend.

The Start of Something New With this said, there is not much more to write about in regards to becoming enlightened. This where concepts end, and embodiment begins Myself especially included. My practice of remaining in the heart has been overshadowed by my need to find out how focusing on the heart will take me to the ultimate state of bliss, while still living a creative, and exciting life here on Earth. My understanding is that you can give the mind endless evidence that surrendering the mind to love is a good thing to do, yet you can see the conflict! When you have relied on your mind your entire life to live like me, transcending the mind is like saying goodbye to your whole identity and basic functioning. You start to trust, and feel; instead of conceptualising, analysing, and staying within the comfort of stories. We have known nothing other than the mind, and the heart is unknown. But if the heart's love was truly known, and truly experienced we would in a heartbeat choose that as our new home for our awareness. It is the fear of the unknown that keeps us in our comfort zones. Yet there is no place else for me to go now; there is nothing more to study or to learn, or to think about. It's either surrender into this moment, or stay in your thoughts. This is one case where there is a black and white; you are either present or are lost in a false sense of self. It's really strange, but now just feels like the right time to go within my heart, and stay there, just like how we usually stay within our minds. It feels right like a force is magnetically drawing me in, and as I get closer, the more I don't know who I am. Identifying with the heart instead of the mind is not a crazy jump, it is just a slight little change to where you place most of your awareness, which has the power to make you realise you are God. One thing I enjoy doing is seeing this in modern society. If it's ego driven then it should make our awareness go into our head. And what makes us go inside our heads more than fear? Haven't you noticed how people are always worried about something that doesn't exist? Or regret a past that is no longer in existance? Have you noticed how fear is everywhere you look. It surprises and shocks me every day how much fear very subtly is all around us; and fears derivatives which is anything negative such as anger, hate, jealousy, shame, guilt, sadness, suffering, envy, pride. It is helpful to see this because it will shock you how most of anything touched by society has this element of fear; because it was created by fear-based people, or people with egos. When I saw this suffering and fear, and still do, it wakes me up every time to love. How we can either choose love or fear by identifying with the heart, or following our highest excitement; or by living in a wild mind full of thoughts and emotions. There is no limit to how much you can express either; everyday when you wake up you have the opportunity to focus on love as much as you want! You can make it a game. How many compliments can I give today to myself and others? What is the most gentle and kind thing I can do for myself right now? Trust in love, and it will show you just how trustworthy, all-knowing, omnipresent, all-powerful, blissful, joyous, compassionate, expanding, gentle, soft, kind, and divine it truly is. Trust in fear, and the example of your life of suffering is suffice. Everyone is doing their best, with the understanding they have about themselves, to find happiness. Bringing love into this world or focusing on the love already in yourself whatever way you want, is the answer. There are many paths to get there, but all of them should make you feel more one and more loved. This ends my journey of gaining more information, or knowledge about love, and the beginning of embodying it with the intention of remaining in the vibration of pure oneness, and love in every moment; because I know that love is the only answer, and will always be so. How many more books, how many more glimpses do you need in order to trust your heart and surrender to love? Is the question I have kept asking myself for the last month. I now honour that desire in me, that is also the desire of all humans, to be one with God. As I descend into love, I will also see the deepest beliefs of separation within myself. This will be challenging not to identify with these beliefs, and remain in the heart, because one of those beliefs includes "I am a seperate being". The release of such a belief would mean that I would literally choose love over my very identity as someone who is disconnected from ALL THAT IS. I feel ready, and prepared with all that I know to face this belief I created when I was a child, and to finally transcend the minds limitations, and come into the divine realisation that I have always been the happiness and love I have always been looking for and always have deserved. Namaste beautiful expressions of oneness.

In the end of stage turquoise Leo mentioned that you should read at least 30 books on non-duality if you are serious about awakening. I would like to get some perspective on this. Several teachers I have studied joke/talk something along the lines of "the truth is not found in any (sacred) book". I heard a story from somewhere where Ramana told his pupils to throw their spiritual books into a river. I have had a few experiences myself where I realized how silly it was to look for myself anywhere but within. Early this summer I had an LSD/meditation induced awakening where I basically exploded out of bliss, and at that moment I thought to myself "If/when this has faded, if there is one thing I must not forget, it's this: it is within" I reached a point early on this year where I was practicing quite hard for my level, and studying theory and listening to teachers. I felt like all the knowledge was starting to be really distracting, like my monkey mind was constantly blabbering about non-dual theory. Now I have not read any non-dual books for a while nor listened to teachers and I feel like my mind is clearer and I can focus on my actual experience better. Is this a path thing, or is there some crucial value in books that I'm not getting? I understand that books can point out potential traps of the work, but... I don't know. Anyone here who has awakened and can say that books helped in that process? @Leo Gura is the only person I have encountered who has recommended extensive reading on the topic. Anyone here who has read very few books and has had success just by practicing? I'm not interested in speculation from users who have intentionally read/not read books and had awakening spiritually, sorry. You are all great but I don't think you can give much value here, as I said it's more of a speculation than an opinion from experience.

@Stretch You’re right There never was a “you” to begin with. This separate identity is an illusion. But that dosen’t mean you won’t have individuality once you become enlightened for that is apart of our true identity as the soul. When there is no separate identity, there is nothing in the way for the love of you, as your soul, to fully express itself in this material world. Thus you will always be in a natural state of joy and bliss. One is only afraid of the emptiness when they have the illusory identity of a separate self. All of your fears will be healed and resolved through surrender, that you can trust. Love is always the only answer you’ll find. No matter how much you try to conveptualize enlightenment, the mind cannot come to a certain conclusion due to its limitations. That’s why you’re much better off meditating rather than thinking about what enlightenment is. If you can describe it with words, it’s not enlightenment. Love, and oneness.

We are unlimited beings of love, peace and oneness. You can’t define your true nature as the divine by any colour, for it is all colours. Such system can only define your lower self/ego when the moment you choose to focus on love, you transcend all of this. Only bliss permeates your experience, and the love of God as yourself. Many blessings growing souls. May you realize yourselves now as the infinitely powerful, all-loving, and all-knowing light for which you are, will be, and always were. My love goes to all of you.

@Silvester you can attain enlightenment and live in 100% bliss all day.

@Victor Mgazi Ohhhh yes, it was hurting like hell when I tapped into the Absolute the first time. From what you wrote, it sounds like you experienced that - what do you think? I was experiencing this involuntarily many, many times in my life and it was always hurting like hell. Until one day (15 January 2017) when I starred death in the face literally (I actually had a hemorrhagic stroke / brain bleed). After that, tapping into the Absolute turned into bliss because I realized that as long as I can feel this, I'm actually alive. And since then I kept doing it more and more often, so that nowadays "I'm living this dream" almost every moment, even right now. It's the ultimate way for me to let go of my story and identity. Does that make any sense to you? When it comes to my (seriously crazy) dreams - I have only just started a dream diary and figuring out what my dreams tell me about my subconscious mind. I can usually remember them quite easily in the morning but until recently I didn't bother to "keep dreaming" once I realized I was in a dream. It opens up a whole new world....