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I'd recommend you to not snort it, but to put it into a capsule and ingest it orally. much smoother and lasts longer - and won't irritate your nasal cavity I've had a wonderful experience with it. it was like actual therapy for me. it helped me talking about some very dark stuff which was still spooking around in my subconscious. I was able to talk about it freely, in order to let it go once for all. for me it was just pure bliss. my mind got so silent that I was able to really, like really connect with my body and specially with my emotions. the silence of the mind enabled me to become aware of the perfection of each moment - for the first time. I seem to be more in touch with my emotions since then. if used correctly, I think it can be very powerful and healing I wish you a wonderful experience

Only thing I would argue is that you are OWED happiness. By whom? By reality? Reality doesn't owe you anything. Often-times, when we grow and develop, it's by following our 'blisters' rather than following our bliss. Pain will teach you valuable lessons that joy doesn't know about. As a living being, you will receive results based on your choices and the efforts that you make. Life doesn't owe you happiness any more than it owes you anger or sadness or glory. These are all things produced by your conscious efforts. Life WILL reward you with happiness if you do the 'right' things, but it will not just award it to you if you are, for example, massively egoic, insecure, and apathetic. No - step up and you'll get what you have tried to receive. But you are not entitled to any more than you have chosen and deserved. Extra note: and sometimes you'll get hit with things you don't deserve! It's a messy game out there.

Today I finally woke up feeling better after sleeping again another 16 hours for the third day in a row. I've sort of transitioned from a victim, apathy mindset to a tad bit of anger and ready to hit back in life. I'm planning on hitting my workload hard tomorrow and push through it. It's not as if I could just ignore it all and allow everything to start falling. I've accepted the fact that I must work hard But I did seriously consider quitting it all and becoming some cocktail server or something lol at least then it'd be stress-free, it'd be easy and I'd have more creative energy and drive for what matters more which is my life purpose. But I've decided I rather work hard in my career perhaps it'd allow me to be more influential in serving my life purpose because let's be honest most people at first see money and success and then maybe they'd listen to what I have to say and perhaps it'll lend me the respect to close deals and get things done faster. I clearly see how unuseful it is for me to think negatively towards decisions I've made. It's wasted energy that doesn't help with my productivity. If I push hard these next few months to meet all my deadlines and be ruthless with it, I know I'll feel proud and accomplished and then on to my next bliss project it is. I want to see how successful I can complete my first life purpose project and if it is indeed franchisable. It's one of those things I've had in the back of my mind that I just need to accomplish to see what is next. It's almost as if in this case, this specific journey -I'm driving at night and all I can see is in front of me if I keep it moving until the daylight comes. My morning routine: I've gotten off track with it and that's bleeding throughout other parts of my life. I feel like when I wake up I used the logic that I had way too much work to do that I needed to make that a priority instead of those important habits: working out, meditating and reading. I've also done the same with my life purpose work I've put it on the back burner with these other false urgent things that honestly mostly just mean $ to me -probably fueled by my fear of insecurity. Money gives me a sense of security and I love treating myself. I also have a belief it's hard to make which is counterproductive because I find myself distracted and if only I would just focus for a good 5-6 hours a day, I'd get so much more done. Every time I have started getting back into my routine I've felt the strongest and happiest but when falling off it's just the opposite - there's a sense of loss of hope and frustration. My priorities have been re-arranged. My fear of not making enough money is just that-a fear. I need to put what's more important ahead of that. I'm sure it'll pay off. There also this "I want to be fucking free from working" thing going on. As if -living my life purpose and making it my source of income isn't the most freeing and fulfilling way.

Don't take on more than you can serve, how will worrying help anyone? What is your problem? Be only focused on that. Are you not always afraid of stillness, hiding that by constantly making up conceptual mind problems, like the people you are complaining about? Also, it's not bliss vs pain, it's pleasure vs. pain, and bliss is the liberation from the idea you need to get pleasure and avoid pain. Babies are not perpetually unhappy, animals aren't, children aren't, masters aren't, just stupid indoctrinated humans are, and because of their stubborn misguided use of imagination.

suffering is real do not hold a belief that suffering will lead to bliss if you believe you need to travel a hundred miles to get to heaven, you will be travelling a hundred miles to heaven, every moment again and again, for infinity, your beliefs form the present moment believe in bliss, absolute bliss with no requisites, no bridge, no way, no journey, just being here where you want to be when faced with the suffering of others it is important to know that suffering has no cause in reality it is an expression of energy which expresses itself through the canvas of physical reality there is no reason tor suffering there is no reason for happiness, happiness is our true nature when you someone suffering, believe in their happiness, believe in the reality where they are happy your imagination, your belief, your intent for happiness for this person is true universal energy which help that person structure their reality on an atomic level, to create that reality which matches our true happy nature you needn't even to speak to someone,you don't even have to comfort them, you don't have to give platitudes, you can if you want to, but it is not required, there is not a single physical action that will adress the true cause it is all about belief, your belief in the happiness of your loved ones is what truly shapes reality, from its very origine, from outside and inside, what you believe and intent, look at that reality where your loved ones are happy look with your belief and intention

Let's say that all you see in the world is the suffering of others (all beings), you are HIGHLY empathetic and you see that this suffering is never ending and probably will only get worse, especially close beloved beings like your mother or son, you see AND feel (empaths) what they feel and with it all their suffering and insecurities and you try everything but just seems inevitable that they will not hear you and keep doing what they are doing that is dragging them slowly and steadily into a hellish life until their death. Their happiness is yours and also their suffering that happens to be the 90%. How do you deal with this fact without closing the heart? Do i need to experience enlightenment to see that it "is all perfect"? I understand that it is all an illusion and that you need "suffering" to have "bliss" but i don't feel it and neither the unaware people feel like it is an illusion, they are really suffering and you feel all of it. I find it really hard to cope with it. Makes me isolate myself in order to escape feeling others since it so overwhelming. Especially because i am getting more and more sensitive to energies each day and feel them intensely.

@CortexIt’s okay; you are not limited by your human body. It gives you a shape and form for you to create in! God desires you to exist. Which means you decided it. And he also wanted you to be confused just as you are right now, because he wanted to know what confusion felt like. So you’re doing everything perfectly, you can’t get it wrong. I have seen lots of your posts recently and it tells me that you are on the start of this journey of growing into realizing yourself as God, and that maybe you’re a little lost. Start with finding the most loving teachers you can possibly find that fill you with hope, joy and bliss! That will help you so much. For example, I have always loved Matt Kahn for being able to speak about love from a gentle, and wholistic, and nurturing perspective; a friend on here loves the teacher Bashar. Find the one you love and go from there; the one that just makes you feel good and relaxed okay. Good! Best wishes, and remember we all have to be lost in order to be found? @Colin Or is it a stroke of genius? ?

A short and powerful inspiration has come to me that may help you, let’s get into it! As you all know I have a heart-centered practice which I found at the start of this year after a year and a half of searching for the fastest, and most relaxing, joyous and exciting path towards enlightenment There is one caveat to this practice or warning I would like to share. I’ve noticed in me that when I feel the beginnings of love in myself I stop focusing on the air in my chest cavity. But then I feel sadness again in my heart and so I give it attention again as I would a small child, caressing the child, adoring it’s presence, and thanking it for giving me life. It’s a cycle. And yet the secret is to continue giving the heart attention well after emotional and mental health has returned, well after you’ve felt peace, bliss and oneness. I mean forever. Or we can focus on the head forever. Just like it’s natural for us to focus on the head, so too will it be for the heart; this means we can relax and really enjoy this process of self-transformation into our greater unlimited selves. We can always relax, and surrender even deeper when we know everything is perfect, and no matter what you do, you’ll always be just where you were meant to be. Everything is love, and you are this love; and the heart knows this deeply, that’s why we are doing this. Because the heart knows only the Truth of this universe; the love that exists everywhere. Your mind will resist this by creating truly awe-inspiring stories of fear, and will even bring up past memories you thought you had overcome years ago ? I saw this today so clearly as I surrendered as the awareness, watching the mind whirl away on the past. This made me rededicate myself to my heart because I understand that no amount of knowledge can convince my mind to surrender. Only I can; only the God within me. Love is the only answer; it’s the only answer your mind will silence and surrender to. Love is always here, and it is very asseccible. It is flowing through your veins, it is the beat in your heart, and it’s all around you. You can’t escape it, you can’t hide from God as God. Let this really relax your nervous system, and allow you to embrace this moment like never before; that love is always always here for you. May we all love heart-centered within each moment and inspired to create whatever makes us jump with excitement.

life feels so much more vivid, I can't believe. it's almost too good to be true. I know this feeling, I've had it during some awakening experiences on trips too - the feeling of OMG this is just too good to be true. can this really be? do I deserve this? I think this is still holding me back a bit - the part with do I deserve this much bliss and beauty? oh, yeah, I do. life is beautiful, existence is magical. and I deserve to be loved and to be blissful and in awe like I've always been as a child. I want to walk the path of self love more. enough with this mentality of 'you have to work hard to deserve something' or 'you have to earn your happiness' I've grown up with this, passed down from generations. and whilst it was all well meant, what did it bring me? self hate and low self-worth the love of the universe is endless - and free. everyone serves infinite amounts of love, me too <3

the shift is only in the mind, I worked like "hell" 14 hours a day on multiple stimulant/ ( weed, ritalin, thea ) after taking 4 step back with some psyche, I understand now why I couldn't start my business, even if my skill is "high" now. this makes me realise that I dig so much that I wasn't seeing the light anymore ( kind of the idea ) ( too much work ) ( I m on computer ) ) I wasn't focus that much on monney, but in my case, this is a bit of a problem aswell. There is tons of "work" to do, on many aspect, not only the thing you want to buss Some musician around me, are so much into monney, that their music has no soul, they just push and push on people or create value in their social relationship to them, they are little guru. reality is : there is almost no shortcut in "making it" in fact the road is all there is ( you'll see.. ) it's knowledge, self reflection, and work on taking the good road for yourself. But dreaming is one thing, you should act the music inside you. that's exactly like leo told, there is no "recipe" to success ( what is success anyway ) do you reflect that you really want to be rich ? what's for ? fuck hookers and then end your life because you never had this fulfilling meaning inside you, you should create a powerful meaning for your entire life, it's better than monney ( I m not sayin monney is bad or good, it depend a lot, like many things ) Monney can bliss you, or she can makes you miserable. Do not start like me to feel ( like I was 2 years ago ) that you're in a bad position because you're not where you want to be. ( this is a mindtrap to "anxiety" ) the mind take action, so take care of it. Why do you think "rich people" can still commit the worst for their life even if from our perspective they are rich, successful and then, should be happy. doesn't work like this.. it's a kid dream. I m not sayin becoming rich isn't a good goal. For instance, me as a creator, I want to be billionnaire. Not for fuck hookers all days or doing coke, but only to create something greater than myself for the whole community. But for being a part of this, I need to take the egocentrical road of my own business. To get the "trust" of people. the hard thing will be to sustain on the road, you'll see the hardest isn't the physical work at all, it's really more about the mind ( and of course you should work/effort ) learn, practice, self reflect, integrate knwoledge that align with your "life purpose". You should create something of value for you, and then share it with the world ( this is only my view, do as you want ) yes there is a recipe, the one you'll write for yourself. it's more easy to read it, than "get it" I m still in the process of getting it. As we will for ever. Even starting with a book as simple as Napoleon Hill could be a good thing when you don't know anything about "mindset business" this was just a part of my road, but I m not sayin this a great book, it depend where you are, and what you can "believe" right now.

@Preetom thanks Just to clarify, the practice I described in the first post is different to what occurred to Ramana not just because his was spontaneous but also because it is a technique rather than the act of the ego “dying” itself I tried the practice outlined in my post and it was the most blissful and quiet state I have been in. Ego was mixed in but every time I let go into “death” my body disappeared and all that was left was bliss and space. Not “infinite” as thoughts were still constricting somewhat between the silence but still It was the deepest Jhana (from the descriptions of jhana that I have read. I also was not seeking jhana, it was a side effect of the letting go to death) state I have experienced. I felt like if I sat there all night I could just keep releasing everything and everything would disappear eventually I will keep going with this meditation Would love to hear from others if this works well for them too

Place your skeleton body in a comfortable position Prepare to DIE Tell yourself you are dying and that there is nothing more to worry about or care about There is no pain in death, just peace Accept your death as a release of all the anxiety and bad things that may be plaguing you Feel the peace of letting go to death. Feel the lack of peace of letting go in death feel the anxiety release as you let go into death. Feel the anxiety rise again as you die. Watch the cycle of rising and falling. Let it die with you Accept all the thoughts in your head but realise that they are useless to you now that you are dying Feel the tension leave your body as you surrender. Feel it melt into nothingness as you leave it all behind. If tension returns accept it and realise the futility of it as you die and it dies with you Do not resist any thoughts or sensations. Do not resist any resistance to the same. Do not resist resisting resistance. Just let it exist without judgment. Let it die to when it is ready. Everything dies whether you will it or not. Let it happen Your body might feel like it is melting or disappearing. No problem if it does or doesn’t. Let it die either way Whatever arises, let it melt into death when it is reqdy to do so You may or may not feel bliss arising. Either way just let it melt away There is no point There is no destination or path there is no permanent enlightened person, just a a bag of bones on the floor melting away Just keep doing this for however long you want. It doesnt matter. Just let it go. And if you can’t let go, don’t worry, let letting go go too Rinse and repeat forever

People use both of these terms very loosely "I" lol feel, some people say they are the same, some people say awakening is prior to enlightenment thoughts? Some other words used: Bliss. nirvana. liberated. kundalini.

hey there, I'll be very short. ( ) excuse my french minded english. ( with my lack of skill, as a learned it only by copying pattern, never listen at school ) This topic will be egoic ( thanks for reading ) Fan of music since child, I find my life purpose while listening on weed music at a friend home. ( my all 3 best friends are currently into electronic music making ) only wanted to be a electronic musician since 3 years ( soon 4 ) ( I worked like a slave those last years, on me and my multi projects ) I was a bit in PTSD ( from using LSD and contemplating that reality was not a thing ( this is what I ve seen in the void of my mind ) that nothing matter .. I didn't find any real god, I was deluded that I will understand something, but only met my intuition overpowered even more than usual ( could see imagery pop in my mind while drawing ) " adhd " ( for real, I do not even want to believe I m this kind of shit, cause I hate 98% of internet who pretend to be this shit ) they are sad to me to read. They all sound sorry to tell that, but kind of stupid. ( not their wrong, they have been very mindfucked to believe they are "sick" ) old kid addicted to video games since my 6 years ( pokemon ) to 20/21 years ( droped it when I did weed ) ( league of legend ) ( was used to be "introvert" and akwardly very social ) making real weirdo jokes ( kind of rick & morty before it exist ) I could makes jokes about china eating africans to save the entire world. I love shatter reality and perspective since a child ( wasn't aware of doing a thing like that ) was just funny and natural to me to be a leo. I m INTP ( but mixed ENTP ) ( I did the test 4 times on my life and had 3 times INTP / 1 time ENTP ) ( those are models, not real fact, but they sound very accurate to me, against all others ( that I read ) I do not believe in IQ as something related at pure intelligence, it is a bit of something maybe.. I have between 135 & 150 ( not in term of intelligence, in term of IQ of course ) I never used any drug until 20 ( only video games addiction, not because I was ugly or hated at school ( I hated school because it was borring to death ) I was mostly seen as a beautiful guy/nice, so no one bothered me because I had a nice face ( was on the border to be hated like a nerd though, but was mostly talking to everyone and trying to be openminded to every idea, besides the day or I shoot out that football was for fucking chimp ( exactly haha ) before leo was in my reality ) I was a bit weirdo, crazy, and in my "mind" , because everything ultimately..borring to death. ( and I was good at lonely sport one of the best for my heretic body ) I m a hard alone worker ( learn, music, art, etc.. ) very curious; watch various "scientific/biologic/psychologic" content. ( but only since 4 years, since my life goal is being a god tier at music ) ( I do music, video making, recording, music engineering, basic web language understanding ) my hands are a bit everywhere except on girls. used alcohol a lot the first 2 years I discovered ( but never did alone my entire life ) ( at 20 ) because it was fun and "legal". then at my end 20y, some of my friend who likes music and movies makes me try weed. I buy a package the week after I try it ( it was not in a "night" context, only an afternoon, by listening music while high, it was like WOAAAAAAAAAAAAA ) Never stop using it more than 3 days for the last 3/4 years. ( probably put all my back monney in it, because it made me work for the first time of my life ) first thing : like music in 4k when you are used to 480 and you already loved it... ho man I fell in love, music and weed, it's infinity at hand, it's bliss. everyday it's bliss. I know this is stupid to be addicted to something like this, but who isn't addicted to something in life ? most people are addicted to having sex or masturbate. ( I do not have those addiction at all, even porn isn't a problem at all, for instance, it has been 4 days without any kind of thing, it doesn't even miss me ) but WEED MAN I started making electronic music like 6 month after i started ( and very religiously ). ( I learned english full while being high, I was mostly the worst piece of shit of my school for my entire school grades ) I even tell that I dedicate my life to the god of music in a very serious manner haha, so I worked so hard, my mind and ear was bleeding, it was even stupid of my part. I m still very healthy though, only crippling anxiety as a life style. weed remove all anxiety from me, absolutely all. I try the drug ritalin, but it was mostly shit fake meth in pack, makes me work and idiots completely crazy robot, makes me learn something about mind. ( it was my intent, I never really believed this shit would help me, it was to cope with the price of weed ( I wanted to have something equivalent and not pay for it ) what a shame.. ( cause in my country drug, are 100% free when prescribed ) I wanted to know what society was about to give me to makes me a good worker. holy shit, should have remain ignorant, but still, makes me grow a lot in the end ( if not makes me loose a cell of brain of both ) but brain doesn't exist but like leo said, all my induction was fucked to death. ( idea that pop by link of emotional pattern resolution, something like ) you're so tweaked, that your mind stop have insight, it just "do". without thinking really about the "how". ( it's the extreme of who I m ) ok now : I m almost 25, never worked in a real job ( only with dad for 3 month ) will never do it again. ( my dad can be real harsh and seriously close minded, I helped a bit with this but still ) ( only worked on my project since I started.. weed . ), ( but my country gives you 500€/month at 25 years. if you do not have a work ( yes for doing nothing ) it's social security ) why I start to want to rule the world when I take a puff ? ( I mean this is how I feel ) most people are not resonating the same on weed as me. I worked with my dad in physical job, wanted to kill me almost every day, put violence on me ( I do not live with him, only with my mother ) ( I m less heavy than a average girl 54kg and my 171 cm ) can't do physical shit, cause I had suicidal contemplation while doing this, turn me into a fucking nihilist, telling people that their life will end being a fucking slavery jokes ( this kind of thinking ) this is when I m out of weed, I always be a cynical, and a sceptical blabla. When I started weed, all my bad, all my shit was turning ON ! ok end of story, could write on my context for long, but I think you grasb the problem. I m fucking addicted to death, I can now do weed/learning/music for all day while being high ( in fact I can't work without being high, it's completely chaos ) I do not have motivation, I m easily distracted by anything ( in my mind , not reality ) I mean if reality is borring my mind start to create story on things or self reflect endlessly ( my natural states ). I see pattern in everything, relate to every idea, I can't "work" properly, it's when I smoke, I m "happy" stop being a piece of shit talker ( stop being cynical : try to help everyone make it in everything ) I learned electronic music ( more than 8000 hours of work ( only on music ) and others 3000 of hours : studying, reading, personnal work, reading book about business, art, etc.. ) I m still not at the lvl of selling anything. but when I don't have weed, I m lazy, procrastinating, playing EVEN video games, that I put out of my life when I started weed. ( completely stop my old addiction ) started to work and read a lot on weed. I think I would never learn patience without weed. and still it's annoying. when my mind creates all this thought only to entertain me/nerves me. I mean I wasn't aware as a kid of trolling people, only to excite me, I was doing this without even hate on people, conventional talk wasn't exciting enough. All my new real friends are Raves/Dj/drug addict ( mostly weed ). now I have 3 month to live without weed, because of monney, only this.. my mind start to creates pattern to get weed, it's very serious, I don't know how to control me, I could just contemplate suicide or tired, my lazyness, darkside thinking, anxiety, apathy. ok then when this is not happening, I m just wanting to procrastinate and never work on my project or on anything. Ok I can still love music, but man, I can't do music. it's crippling after 15 min of making music, I'll start feeling bad for a random though poping in. I never had real motivation before weed, I m still virgin at almost 25 ( not really making me feel great or bad, but maybe it's a thing, I don't know ) , even if I did LSD ( alone with self contemplation ), mushroom, mdma ( but fuck that shit, in the end, it's a happy void ), and a lot of others shits. Weed is my fuel and I m a car, for real, I m just living on the parking when I m out of weed :'( Now I m out of monney, should find a work/create a business to pay more weed ( like I did ) or should I really stop, and how to STOP and still makes music and hang a bit with my friend when I start to be crazy because of living the introvertness ? I would kill for a real solution, and not a joking solution, my life is so shitty without weed, and only monney stop me from buying. Should I create a side business on the internet ? now my account is 8€ currently, I still have 10€ of weed, and I m reflecting if I should suck dick or keep my dignity ( I m kind of joking ) no economy, no drive licence ( cost 2000€ to not get it ), but full of knowledge ! .. Please guys, don't tell me to accept Jesus I already accepted him in me, he talks to me in my sleep, tell me to call my weed dealer immediatly and trap him to stole his weed

Well, what I mean is, if you have a desire to just share your most profound spiritual experience and how you got there in your unique spiritual path (ie. being the no-self and falling back into your ego with love/bliss), you can. You could describe it in a let's say a book or an app somewhere in a creative way. However, not many ppl will be able to relate. Maybe perhaps a small handful of ppl will be able to if you have a large target audience. If you wrote 5 popular books, maybe you could write it in one somewhere and see what happens. For those who are able to relate (and there won't be many, probably a small handful), they'll make comments somewhere, maybe in your blog/forum, and you could pick them out somehow to talk to them. That's what I mean.

Hi, and thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm writing today because I feel very troubled. I've been troubled for a long time, but today is especially bad. When most people use the word "enlightenment" it seems to me they have an idea of someone like Eckhert Tolle or The Buddha, who find themselves in states of such incredible bliss that they're content to sit and stare at the clouds. But I've also read a lot of stories about people who believe themselves to be at least somewhat enlightened, and feel very alien and alone as a result. If I'm at all enlightened I'd fall into the latter group. My entire life I've felt different from other people. Mostly I've always been inclined to think for myself, and it seems to me that the vast majority of people aren't. I've had many wonderful opportunities throughout my life. Most people would say that I was dealt a pretty good hand in life, as far as opportunities go. I had parents who cared enough about me to send me to a good college, though I never wanted to be there, and blew that opportunity. I was fortunate to land a good job in my early twenties, and if I would have stayed with it, I'd be really doing well today, but I found it unfulfilling, and left it. I later went on to develop a successful internet business, where I really had things made, and I threw that away as well. There are plenty of ways I could be making money now, but the truth is that I have no desire to be part of the human world. No amount of money is meaningful to me, and there's nothing I really need. I have very few material attachments; almost none, and I like it that way. I just don't want to be part of the rat race. The more I learn and grow, the less I want to be part of the human world, and that's where I am now. Every day human existence seems more futile to me; I mean the idea of slaving and competing for things that you don't need, and you're just going to lose someday. So I find myself simply killing time, hoping something will happen to change things, but nothing ever happens. I might offend some people by saying this, but most people appear no different than animals to me. They do all the same things animals do, and the vast majority of humans just go along with the rest of the group, like any other herd animal. And very few humans ever really think; once again they just share a brain with everyone else. I could go on about the human race but I don't think that's necessary. I'm hoping someone will understand what I'm saying. It feels like a real curse to me to be someone who's at least somewhat awake, and surrounded by so many people who aren't. It feels like a bad dream I can't wake up from. A question I have is, once you've come to truly understand what's happening here on planet earth, especially as it concerns humans, why would you want to be part of it? Why would you want to be part of an economic system that makes most people slaves...grinding away to provide for their basic needs, while barely getting by? Why would you want to be part of a world so controlled by consumerism? And if you choose not to be part of this world, what are you supposed to do? Sure, you can do good deeds and help to make the world a better place, but as long as so many people remain unconscious (and there are getting to be more and more unconscious people, as our population grows) you're just spraying water on the flames. The key word for me is "alien". I don't literally believe I'm an alien from another solar system, like some people do, but I might as well be, as different as I feel. This leaves me with the perspective of an outsider, watching and shaking my head at the stupid things humans do; as they work their way towards their eventual annihilation. I'm very well informed, and aware of what's going on in the world, and I'm going to tell you that this world isn't becoming a better place. Anyone who believes this world is becoming a better place has their head in the sand. I believe our world is heading for serious trouble, and when that trouble starts, we're going to see just how animal-like homo sapiens can be. In short I feel like I'm trapped on a train headed for a serious crash. I'm alone, amongst billions of people who look just like me, but aren't like me, most oblivious to the reality of our situation. It reminds me of certain nightmares I've had, when I was trapped in hopeless situations, and waking up was the only deliverance, except that in this case, I can't wake up. What I mean is that I can't exit this reality, and enter one more desirable, as one does in the case of waking up from a dream. I've been searching for a long time for someone who genuinely feels the way I do. I'm 100% alone in my situation, and it would be nice not to feel so alone. If you really deep-down understand the angst I'm feeling, feel free to drop me a line (send me a private message), because I'm guessing you could use someone to talk to as well. Thanks, and all the best!

I’m trying to categorize and subdivide infinity into smaller pieces, in order to put it into tiny, defining boxes we call words. I see the impossibility there and it makes me smile. every word, every thought makes infinite possibilities collapse. but I really want to try, as I feel that writing could help me with the integration process. I also want to share this experience with all of you, since I would have never, ever had this experience without this wonderful place full of inspiring souls <3 thank you I feel like everything’s perfect and exactly the way it should be. this is such a relief. I’m still in awe by all of it. it’s still hard for me to communicate, linear logic I used to rely on so much seems to fail me.. but I don’t mind, it feels like I’ve madly fallen in love with life I drank ayahuasca for the first time right after a 1 week long retreat in a Zen monastery. how perfect is that? the monastery was a beautiful experience. meditation, zen books and the most amazing garden I’ve ever seen. (I finally understood why Zen monasteries are actually Blue by the way, huge insight for me) soothing and healing nonetheless. I drank aya in a beautiful place in nature with to kind souls taking care of me (good thing, I was completely out of my mind. in a good way though) I lied down with my eyes closed, focusing on my breath. the effects came in subtle waves. tingling, my meditation started to feel deeper than usual. it became easier and easier to ‚reach‘ that state were I completely let go and forget ‚myself‘ and merge with my surroundings. as I didn’t feel any difference between ‚me‘ and the girl lying next to me, I knew that aya had started to work in me. and so I surrendered. the whole trip could only be described as a huge game of surrender - deeper and deeper and deeper into the rabbit-hole. and wow, I didn’t know….I couldn’t have ever imagined how deep this goes. the more I died, the more infinite ‚I‘ became. inside became outside, the deeper I went ‚in‘, the further I came ‚out‘. the more layers I stripped off me, the more I gave away, the richer I felt. rich in everything, everything. I screamed out in pleasure. I didn’t know that was even possible. it just got better and better, infinite joy and bliss. I couldn’t believe it was so, so fucking amazing. it made me cry. every time I thought "oh fuck, this is it. it's so fucking perfect. it has to be it", it went even deeper. I couldn't believe the bliss I saw life in a flow and resistance against it being the biggest problem. but I really started to get good at letting go, so I surrendered all the resistance again and again. each time merging with the overwhelming stream. the flow was everywhere, I infinite melody, the sound of life. it was in me, around me, flew through me. I surrendered a million times, consciously. I died and died and died and each time I felt more one with the universe. I couldn’t believe the bliss. unimaginable. it still brings me to tears. I am crying right now <3 at one point I felt the earth sucking me in. the soil ate me, tore me into infinite parts until there was nothing left of me. then it spat me out again. I felt the earth giving birth to me, again and again. it felt so..organic, dirty. it was both painful, disgusting and also the most natural and beautiful process I’ve ever been through. that cycle went on for a while. each time I felt more and more connected to nature. like nature streaming through my veins as the effects started to lessen.. I was too in awe. I couldn’t speak for a while. all I did was sitting on the ground, crying and shivering. I looked around like I’d never seen a forest in my life before. and I hadn’t. not like that. I literally felt like a newborn. I looked at the world, unable to conceptualize it. they spoke to me, I could only listen in awe. no words came out of me. everything was new. my whole body felt like it had just been reborn. every movement seemed so foreign. (my trip sitter told me later that my movements and whole coordination looked very weird. they said "literally like those of a newborn") I think this will change my life. I don’t know how yet, but I really hope I can integrate this into my daily experience. I want to embody everything I’ve felt. I still feel kind of different than before. there is something deep inside me, like peace and calmness. like I’ve stopped searching because somehow I know that it’s all in me. nothing „out there“ could ever fulfill me. it’s all inside. I also realized that it will never end. awakening is not an endpoint like I’d imagined it to be. it’s a beginning, again and again. there is always deeper to go, more to surrender and more infinity to expand into. that’s the beauty. it brings me to tears <3

hmmmmm this almost also sounds like a very good night sleep its been a while since i did this but i used to put an alarm on to wake me up mid-sleep on weekends lol its like each morning when i get up from work, ur eyes are just begging for a little bit of more sleep but u cant have it on the weekend, when i know i can sleep in - waking up from the alarm, and then knowing u dont gotta work. u turn that shit off quick and then happily go back to sleep. that sleep satisfaction is multiplied then lol gotta be careful not to forget u have a day off and u end up going to work on a saturday OR gotta remember that it is a work day with a real alarm so u dont end up sleeping in lol also. the satisfaction of sleep, the feeling of wanting to close the eyes. the feeling of sleepiness in general is something which we all want so badly, especially when woken up abruptly. i guess that's what the bliss and peace feels like. a deep sleep, except your consiounessly enjoying it so to speak

To shine as bright as an ascended master takes almost super human levels of love. All that means is constant dedication, to leave no areas of your life, and no moment untouched by love. To do such a feat has changed me so much. Most days I have no idea what I’m doing, and how I got in this situation. I don’t know who I am. And when this arises I let the love in my heart answer that. This surrender has left my ego feeling so confused and unsure; but the saving grace has been this feeling of love that comes the more I leave the question of “who am I?” a question mark. I am even trying to stay awake longer just for the opportunity to be in my heart more in this physical realm. I drink a liter of cows milk everyday with urine and this means I can happily sleep 4 hours. I also have this peculiar querk to myself where I find it odd and unnatural to eat food. I feel it is a limitation, and I don’t know why. But it works, and gives me more time to sit in silence and love. For dreams are based in a reality where time has less of a grasp, so there is no need to sleep longer to dream longer. I say this because I absolutely love dreaming. Increasingly nowadays I feel the massive difference in vibration from most of those in society, my old friends, and where I am coming from. It makes me feel sad, maybe because I know I can’t ever go back to not dreaming, and living in unawareness that I am one with God. That dream is not mine anymore. I also feel into what it would be like to have such an open heart that people see it glowing with brilliant white light as a result of thousands of hours of remaining in the heart. It makes me cry tears of happiness, and feel deeply inspired. Only one person in recorded history was said to have been so loving that his heart flowed, and that was Lord Lanto from China 500 BC. Right now there is nothing to do, or be. People have shown themselves to be increasingly unreliable for any love, which is why we have relationships. Thus I have learnt to always listen to what my heart wants and not the people around me because even if I changed for them, they will soon become mad about something else! That’s just how it is, and it’s perfect This conditional love I’ve been shown through out my life has really helped me dedicate the entirety of my soul to unconditional love. If I hadn’t suffered I wouldn’t have appreciated what it is like to be in total bliss. There would’ve been less motivation to go to higher levels of love. That’s why everything is perfect, and meant to be, and is a gift from God himself. It feels nice to dissolve. To give you a feeling of dissolving sit on the floor with your legs out straight in front of you and reach out to your toes with your hands. Hold this for at least 15 seconds. Namaste.

So whenever I get high from marijuana, I feel more creative, I am more funny and witty, also topic I think about make more sense and I see the way to problem more easily. I also for example can rap a lot easier and better lol like creative verses in the rhyming sense and it all flows so nicely and I am also left wondering Woah, how am I doing this. Apart from that being in the moment and enjoying it fully. Now, In some @Leo Gura videos I have watched, he talks about increasing the base level consiouness which can be done via meditation and other techniques. Leo says as one progresses in the meditation path, one gets so many creative ideas and insights that you feel you don't have enough time to act them all out and they are all so good. So when has these increases in base level of consciousness, then is it fair to say that if I have this boost for example, it will be like "being high on weed" would be my normal permanent state? I suppose no body buzz or time dilation effecfs.. but what will that base level consiouness increase look like? Am I right to think that the creativity I feel during my highs would be something I will be able to access more readily and in my normal state? Also, while high, I feel like everyone who gets high and isn't too aware or knowledgeable about Non-duality or never heard of it, acts out its effects so nicely When high, we don't worry about the past and don't worry about the future (unless in a paranoid setting and ur worried someone might catch u if ur high or something) but other than that, when I got high with another first and it was his first time He was just laughing, jolly , enjoying, not caring or worrying about anything I guess thats partially being in the moment fully looks like... No where close to awakening-bliss I am sure lol but , if u talk to those ppl about their experience then, that look, ur having all this fun because ur not projecting into future or worring about ur past But then again, how will one pay the bills if he/she 24/11 Anyhow, main question was about base level consiouness increase and its effects as compared to my experience on weed. Thanks

oh wow, to become empty is to be filled with the divine <3 the less I am, the more of everything can flow through me those glimpses literally kill me, I love it. the problem is, I get attached to them...it's hard to not get attached to such freedom, peace and bliss. how?

It happend to be that the most talented and intelligent people is who have the worst mental issues. Its a double edge blade. You con see mediocre people living in bliss of ignorance.

Wouldn't the promised land of self-actualization be when you "go back" to your ordinary life (packed with so much wisdom and instruments in your "backpack") that every ordinary moment and even uncomfortable situations feel like bliss, because you never forget how incredibly magical it is to be alive?

August 11.implementation day - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - God bless the weak. God bless the fallen. God bless the impoverished and the uncared We need a stronger spiritual force in this world to overcome evil and misery. There is so much chaos and entropy in the world because we do not lead spiritual lives. We lead materialistic existence with greed and self indulgence and narcissism and deprivation. If we live spiritually, the spiritual nature of things will inspire the physical nature of things. Things will take form depending on our thoughts in our consciousness. If we are full of love and bliss, we will create that in reality. Our thoughts and intentions will take shape in reality and those intentions will express themselves. You reap as you sow. You can create beauty, balance, freedom, peace, bliss, love and you can create anything you want. The power lies within you. If there is something lacking, that can be filled, if there is something hurting you, that can be changed. If there is something frustrating you then that can be changed.. Let the power of love and spirituality work through life and show what it can do. Anything is possible. Everything is possible. You just have to believe. The only thing you have to do is change your mind. We have a very small heart or we are close hearted or narrow in our hearts that's why we only like or appreciate that which is perfect and we get tired of even that. It takes a big heart to appreciate that which is imperfect. - - - - -tevnt - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A prayer for health, vitality, love, companionship, beauty, and prosperity. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If you want a change in life then bring a change in consciousness. A change in global consciousness brings a change in the world - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Live healthy Live in love Live in bliss Live in spirituality Live in abundance Live like a child. Live free - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - as long as you have external sources of happiness you'll be unhappy and constantly encounter disappointment. Because external sources are temporary and can change anytime. It's important to have an inner state of sanity, an inner sanctum where you can be yourself and be happy, fulfilled and strong so what happens is, the change in your circumstances and conditions and external sources of happiness does not bring a huge shift in your state of mind or internal happiness. You more or less remain unimpacted. It doesn't disturb your inner peace that much. It does not mean to completely give up external sources of happiness, but rather to rely less on them. If you rely on them too much then you give those external sources and conditions power over you. So you can only use them to complement or supplement your basal happiness. But your core happiness should have an inner source. Work on your inner happiness and build it gradually. So when the external source is dead, you're still unaffected and you carry on or transition smoothly. You can call it inner source, inner sanctum or inner column of strength and happiness. Work on building the inner column and that way you will be more immune to external conditions and also life and the nature of your life or existence will have the least impact on your state of mind and health and self esteem. This means that even if your life is shitty, you would continue to remain happy and be less impacted by the ups and downs of life. You would also be less obsessed with life. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Goals Working on health issues " be yourself" live a completely authentic life To create and live the life you want. Live in love /live in universal love Live in paradise Follow the life blueprint - key functions Goal board Create in the moment. Focus on blueprint functions in every moment implementation days, to goal system, phase system Flow tasks bridge situation appropriate urgent and context tasks Self criticism questionnaire - accountability buddy Breakthrough point Umbrella list Context tasks Grow spiritually in increments. Work on deficiency, toxicity, deprivation Work on self esteem issues Work on empowering, enabling, challenging Build the inner sanctum of happiness and strength - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'm trying to focus on a method that helps me to be centered and experience bliss and contentment. This will need extreme Visualization