Search the Community

Unfortunately not on youtube, but on audible: Shift into Freedom by Loch Kelly One of my favourite practical books on nonduality so far

Thank you, I appreciate. I also appreciate the time you took to have a more detailed answer in my journal where I go into more depth of why I feel hesitant with Turquoise. I agree, I always felt like Turquoise felt more vague compared to the other spiral stages since there isn't as many examples of Turquoise and because most of the examples that are there if I remember correctly had to do with nonduality, meditation, spirituality etc. while the other stages had examples in spirituality, economics, media, pop culture, etc. And that's understandable because the world has yet to evolve that much. I guess that's another thing that I'm coming up against where I feel like *let's not fix something that isn't broken* in reaction to growing from yellow and green because humans grow with their environment and influence their environment to grow and vice versa so it feels like I'm trying to adapt to something that doesn't really exist yet on a wider scale. I was using the spiral much more so to track my growth over the last few years and I also find myself hitting against a wall to where even though I resonate with green and yellow, I have worked through my own kinks and limitting beliefs to where I don't really resonate with the excesses and unhealthy manifestations associated with the stages, hence why to peg myself more accurately, I have been focussing on lines of development instead and taking that information loosely. As for the hardcore spiritual work, I guess for me it would be good to figure out what degree of spirituality works for me and that I find fulfillment in which can change as I move into different stages of my life. And if that's not what I'm authentically into, that's perfectly fine but I am seeing myself getting back into my own sense of spirituality and spiritual practices lately. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking of Leo's video on The Ultimate Guide To Happiness - How Happiness Works and how he goes into different things you should think about regarding your preferences on having a happy life. If I remember correctly, there was a part of the video where he mentioned that for most people, meditating in a cave for days and not using your mind isn't the path to happiness and that while this works for hardcore monks, for him specifically he needs more intellectual engagement and creativity than just meditating because or else it feels like he's just sitting there like a vegetable. I agree. I don't think that I'm trying to "win by developing as much as possible." I can see the value in all of the stages and if I stagnate at yellow, that's perfectly fine by me. Moving up the spiral isn't inherently good. Hell, I think you can even stagnate in the lower stages and so long as it's healthy manifestation of that stage, it's all good. But while I don't think there is anything wrong with staying at a stage and enjoying where you're at, I just wanted to check in and make sure that it's not coming from a place of complacency or demonization of a higher stage because of biases I might have of it.

And just a symbol.

Around Nov/Dec last year, I had read, watched (including Leo's excellent videos, which have impacted my metaphysics deeply) and contemplated Nonduality long enough for it to start breaking down old structures apart. There was an earth shattering realization about my work in science: science isn't probably going to answer the questions I wanted answered. To make matter worse, something inside me had realized this well in advance and I found that I had hit a huge wall of procrastination (though I didn't understand it at the time). My work life was suffering and at the same time, though I had zeroed in on self-inquiry in my Nondual exploration, I had no idea how to actually do it. There were multiple points of confusion: 1) How to exactly self inquire? 2) How to integrate it with the rest of my life 3) What is the guiding principle to orient my actions in the relative world, and what relation it has to Nonduality? Around that time, I came across this megathread started by Akilesh/@winterknight: I was quite impressed with his answers and, like many of you, I had a sense that they were coming from an authentic place. I started talking to him one on one and finally I opted for weekly phone conversations for a guidance fee. I also read his book, How to find what isnt lost, in the process. As our personal interaction started, things started to unravel and settle down in coming weeks and months. First and foremost, he helped my understand my own procrastination. He guided me through multiple 'hitting the wall' moments of self-inquiry, resolved many existential doubts, and helped me avoid many of the subtle traps of a spiritual path. He explained my many doubts about Advaitan metaphysics and how exactly it related to self-inquiry. I finally reached a point where things were integrated enough for life and self-inquiry to be self-sustainable. There is a harmonious life now, well integrated with a background spiritual inquiry, that comes to foreground multiple times on a given day. There is content and peace and, equally importantly, a healthy engagement with the relative world. I can honestly say that this transition wouldn't have been possible, or at least would have taken much longer, it it weren't for Akilesh's personalized help. My orientation to nonduality is Truth, so I really appreciated that he did not sugarcoat his statements. He was brutally honest at times, and he did what many teachers don't do: accepted at points that enlightenment doesn't mean you know answer to every question. In fact there are many important questions on which there are speculations, but no definite answer. No one knows. This really helped my mind settle down into unknowingness. How to find what isn't lost was an excellent concise instructional book on modern perspective on Advaita and, more importantly, how to actually practice self inquiry. Most books on self inquiry are those claiming to be by Ramana Maharshi; but they are actually not written by him. It's always compiled and translated by someone else and is in Q&A format, and it is very hard to extract the exact instructions of the practice, especially for a beginner. So if you are interested in self-inquiry, you must give it a try. I am writing it here so in case you relate to the place I was at, you can give what worked for me a try as well.

Long story short: The ultimate nature is playful I am eternal I am timeless I delight in my own creation Short story long: Hello friends It has been a while Nine months have passed since I fried my ass off with 200µg of LSD last Septemeber. After a lot of integration and working on myself in everyday life I found myself in a good spot to drop some acid again. Once more tripping all alone; no tripsitter, no safety nets. This time at an isolated place in a nature reserve where I am currently working but with half the dose – 100µg of LSD. I was worried the acid might have lost some of it’s potency due to being stored at room temperature for over a year now, but these worries were unjustified In comparison to my last trip: Less visuals, less sacred geometry. No Kechari Mudra this time ;-) Deeper, more raw energetic kundalini stuff + some surprises More Death | more Non-Dual | more Love ! So here’s what happened: 18:00pm : I drop the tab, read “The teachings of Don Juan” and listened to the fabulous “Leylines” Album by Aes Dana. ~18:45pm: Can't read anymore, I start dancing. Dancing is great way in & out of the trip. Strong desire to be more aware of my body. Exploring energy moving through the shoulders and neck – I should straighten up my posture! Only slight patterns and visuals at this point, but my mind is already going places.. After some dancing I come to a dead end, gently drop to the floor, arms out to the sides, and watch myself die. I seem to somehow have skipped the comeup and directly went from "barely any effect" to "full blow trip"! Tingling at the base of the spine, light in my head. Here the unspeakable territory of yogic states begins. This is what I saw Dry analysis is ego, Light shines through in emotions This life is my offering to you, Shiva Angels and demons guard the same door Ravenous energies moving up the spine With pleasure I kiss shut deaths eye How does a self self-terminate? In the end there is nothing you do, you just give in to what was your deepest desire all along – you surrender and explode in ecstasy! There was no-Self to begin with! Oh dear Lord! Self-awareness kicks back in, but the meditator within me doesn’t want the endless orgasm to end – “I can last longer!” – so he keeps the body unmoving and goes for some more rounds on the strange-loop of (non)existence. I arise from my ecstatic slumber. I get up and go the bathroom, pulled by strings beyond my control, and face myself in the mirror. Hard to explain what happened there. I see myself as I am, with all my tensions and imperfections. My face morphs through various beings, from angelic benevolent rabbits to demonic shapeshifting lizards. From time to time my reflection disappears comepletely, leaving just the empty bathroom. I take off my clothes, look at my body. Imperfect by flawless design. Divine, tempting! I watch myself transform into a woman – androgynous mastermind Goddamn shapeshifters! ;-) I walk back to the living room and sit down on the floor, meditation posture. I vividly experience “energetic blockages” in the right side of my body, specifically in the right abdomen slightly above the navel. Left is conscious, right is unconscious. I had been increasingly aware of several “dysfunctions” on the right side of my body over the last months, now it all was very clear. The root of the energetic distortion lies deep within the right side of the pelvis, hard to explain. This is my karma, this is the work I have to do! For the first time I connect this to the appendectomy I had 10 years ago. I repressed the entire procedure! I let the memories surface with as much love and awareness as possible. Funny to look at it from the nondual perspective; I cut out a party of myself Because it would have killed me Interesting That was the first part of the trip, the peak; Surrendering, experiencing some esoteric/mystic/ occult/ecstatic far far out stuff you can’t talk about without being tackled from left and right, merging with the Absolute, reentering into karmic existence and clearing out some baggage on the way. Lovely. The second part of the trip was all about embodiment of nondual consciousness and how I fail at doing that. Huge lesson. Here's what happened: I stand up as God, as Myself. I look out of the window; flawless nature, the sun is setting. I gaze into the sun. Aligning the small ego self with the big Godself. Merging with love, drowning in love Infinite Pleasure, Infinite Love, Infinite Death, Infinite Anything Hey, babe… I’m the sun I love it all so much; I want to go outside, I want to be with my creation! Egoic fear starts surfacing. I know I am all alone out here in nature, but it could be possible for some coworkers to come by. They can’t see me like this, walking through the garden, all ego-less!? Inner conflict. The same resistance you feel when for the first time engaging someone you truly love; fear of how it will turn out, fear of the unknown. But an irresistible urge to do so anyways. You have to trust, and step forward with love! I put on some shorts (huge mistake! :D) and made my way outside. Why did I even lock the door? Was I afraid someone would come by, rob, rape and murder me? I just kicked in my own front door and shot myself in the head! (with Love) Nothing to be afraid of now, hahaha It feels good to be outside But there are still old patterns, memories… God would have just walked off into the wilderness I turned right and slowly, consciously, step by step approached the garden and with it my synchronicity moment of the year, a funny little allegory about psychedelics and God-Consciousness; God-Me walks into his garden and sees a rabbit, feasting and nibbling on the tasty, fresh and young strawberries God-Me had planet just a week ago. Gotcha! God-Me stands still and intensely focuses his piercing gaze on the God-Rabbit. The rabbit abruptly stops eating, crouches and contracts in fear. God-Me loosens his tight gaze, squats down, extends his hand and mentally says “It’s okay you little rascal, come here, I want to love you!” The rabbit runs away. What a shame, I just wanted to love it. I sit down and reflect. If I really am myself, the rabbit, the strawberries and the garden, what does this mean? No time to reflect. I hear the sound of an approaching car - coworkers incoming!! They can’t see me like this, sitting in the garden all ego-less! With fear I contract and run back into the house. I am the rabbit! I want it to happen without drugs, that’s the only excuse I have Fear is the basic mechanism of separation; fear of Death, fear of Love, fear of Self Back inside, back inside my egoic safe space. I realize there was no car approaching at all. I just imagined it. What a shame, I could have just loved it. Too much of this love kills me Inside I sit in meditation and contemplate what just happened. I realize I have to give it another try, I have to come out of hiding. In addition to the shorts I put on a shirt and again venture outside. Now I feel more comfortable about being outside. I have to slowly adjust myself to these new levels of consciousness. So much energy in the system. I sit in meditation. Again I hear the sound of a car approaching. Same old fear, wanting to run inside. But NO! I am creating this! And I choose to create out of Love, not out of fear! I sit still. No coworkers. So much energy!! I get up and spontaneously do some impromptu Tai-Chi / Kung-Fu / Martial Arts. So that’s what that stuff is all about! Most of it must have looked uncoordinated and weird – my first real training session! Some of those movements however… If you really focus, intensely zone in… Mind&Matter moving together This is how God creates! Directly – effortless will I TaiChi-myself into a fascinating realization: Who cares about a few mosquito bites… I am a motherucking MACHINE ELF! The intelligence that guides the separation, the code that runs the divine operating system! Eternally recreating myself… My heart bursts open, it feels so good to be back, I missed myself so much! Like a father, like a mother, like a son, like a daughter, like a brother, like a sister, like a teacher, like a friend, like a lover “I love you!” Is that really true? “Sure babe, I’d tell you anything. I AM you!” Not much happened after that, I was just awake for 6 more hours. I meditated in the house, again naked but wrapped in a blanket, exploring visions of myself as a Sage, bathing in this new awareness. Dealing with the aftermath of chemically induced kundalini, trying to get the energy out of the system… Then I fell asleep at around 6:00am Takeaways from the trip: Love! A call to authenticity and spontaneity! I already am on that path, just gotta keep on walking… The destination is radical but it is worth it! (+there is no other option lol) Getting more grounded in the body! More Yoga, maybe start doing TaiChi. There were two more paragraphs I wanted to write. One about how I failed my own Zen Koan challenge (realized the answer but didn’t act it out). The other about Love only being perceived when there is something to be loved. But I don’t know how to express that without starting nonduality-wars ;-) So I’ll just leave it at that. Here’s a goodie for you to chew on: I am that I (1) create the Two (and remain in between) Did you get it? Love you all!

What if samadhi and nondual experiences happen in trips because we had the idea? @Leo Gura did you expecience God in a trip without thinking about/beleiving in it before? Like, is it universal to have these experiences for example on 5-meo?

If it's close to nonduality then it is no longer a religion. Buddhism can be a religion or it can be advanced sprituality, depending on how it is done. For many folks in Asia Buddhism is just a religion, not nonduality.

That is always a possibility, but contradiction is a feature of nonduality.

Loosely. Yes, of course. 0, 1, 2, and even 3 are rather special numbers. 0 is the ground. 1 is the unity of all things. 2 is the duality of forms. And 3 is the count of 0, 1, and 2. But in the end numbers are just one way to look at reality. Don't give numbers too much importance as the scientists do. You could look at reality in a completely non-numerical way. Don't make numbers into your God. Sure it is. I have episodes about duality and its importance. But also remember that duality and even nonduality are one lens to see reality, and you can look at reality in even more advanced ways.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QCCz4mtd0E I'm not sure if the artist was going for this, I read briefly the song was written about someone with addiction. But doesn't it sound like he's talking nonduality?

So I was that excellent A grader back in primary and secondary school. I was polite, I was nice and I had poor social skills. And I had this complex that my head is too big. I mean it was huge but nothing to be shy about. But back then it was a real deal. And everyone was laughing at me. They called me the TV-guy, Square-guy, Huge-Head and so on. In high school this complex gone away as I healed myself a little bit. But it was still a present to certain extent and some people still made laugh at me. And the moment it stopped bothering me, people stopped making laugh of me. That's such an example of nonduality it shocks and terrifies me. Wow. It was all in me. My head haven't suddenly shrink. It was the same for years, since secondary school. Crazy. Do you have some other proofs?

This is my first topic. I did a book review already but am not counting that really. This is the first time I've taken the plunge and worked up the courage to ask a question "in front of the class". I'm not expecting long answers from people. In the context of this ramble, how would you describe the possible benefits of nonduality philosophy to me Is it correct to call it a philosophy? I'm not looking for people to do my work for me. I'm not being lazy. I'm just stuck in my current level of understanding. I'm not sure if I should try and understand nonduality or just let that sleeping dog lie for now. I can't work out whether it's something I should have as a foundation (such as deciding if I buy into it or not), or whether it's something that I should consider later on. I really didn't want to ask this. I honestly have tried to read around and use the search function on here. I've read what Nahm has written (via his signature) but I do need to watch the video's in his link. However, from everything I've read online and listened to via YouTube I still can't ascertain what's the benefit to me of (a) understanding nonduality and then possibly (b) buying into it. I get like this with self-development. I can obsess a bit too much on things that might be small detail or not relevant to my needs. I fear if I don't try and understand something I am missing out somehow. Not sure if you need to know some basics about me, or whether it's irrelevant what my little plans and dreams are..... For the last few months I've been getting my feet wet with basic Buddhist teachings. I'm also finding parts of the Bible incredibly uplifting, and much more practical than I thought the Bible would be. I don't know what I think about God. I'm not sure who God is or how God works. I (think) I believe at the minimum there is some Higher Power relevant and active in my life. I feel like I am looked after and that I am supposed to follow a path. With the thoughts I am conscious of, my immediate and primary goal is to manage my general fear, insecurities, to be able to better handle uncertainty, to better manage resentments I hold against people, and to move away from my ego (as I understand my ego to be). To move away from animal instinct behaviour. I want to be cool, calm, and collected. Kind to others. Forget myself. Get outside my own head. My most cherished values at the moment seem to be around openmindedness and humility. If I can get these right I think other good stuff can manifest, such as compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and resilience. I have all these qualities to a degree, but I want more, and better still, I want these values to be better reflected in my behaviour.

Here is my attempt to integrate nonduality and evolution. I came to think that nonduality means that reality is changeless. Because if there is some process or entity being able to change reality then that is something changing something else and therefore duality. And if reality changes itself then "what is" turns into "what is not" which again is duality. Leo said in some video that reality is not all possibilities. Reality is all the BEST possibilities, he said. And that I think explains both nonduality and evolution. The process of evolution is necessary as a part of the best possibilities in order to produce beings such as us humans growing and learning and becoming unique creators with more and more power. So the suffering and evil we experience in our little world at the moment is just a temporary learning, development and growth "tool". The content of reality can be modeled as an infinite string of information containing all the best possibilities including the process of evolution. That string of information is changeless! And timeless! And time appears as a result of experiencing the entire string of information in a single instant, which is this present moment we live in. This experience will go on forever since the string of information is infinite. What is nondual is the whole infinite string of information as a whole. The string just is, and it's simply one out of all possible strings of information. For example a binary string like 01010101010101010... wouldn't produce any universe or evolution, but out of the set of all possible infinite strings at least one is able to produce the universe we live in.

How do you know? Do you speak from personal experience? (sorry, heard that one somewhere before ). Or is it deduction from cases you think are enlightened and who still suffer? There is a path beyond Enlightenment to stabilize this freedom from suffering, but the tools to do that are given for the first time WITH Enlightenment (peak to plateau to permanent). And most "Enlighenments" are just Awakenings with remnants of separate-self hijacking the newfound Nonduality. And yet, the amount of bliss and release from the suffering of the self-contraction that resting in True Being (or Awakened infinite nondual timeless Awareness) brings, once it has become accessible, is astonishing. And that bliss and force of True Being has the potential to stabilize that in plateau to permanent. These statements of yours are in contradiction to roughly 2 millenia+ testaments of beings who have realized their True Being. Suffering is the "rubber band" that makes separate-selves return to their True Being. Hamster-wheels until the original condition is restored. Suffering is what guarantees that no being is lost in the illusion of separation forever. The longer one chases states/experiences/whatever, the longer the hamster-wheels spin. One could even say that the separate-self IS suffering/resistance/contraction (Adi Da called the ego self-contraction). Because one of its main essences IS the suffering/contraction/localization/resistance to what is. Suffering IS the ego IS the separation/separate-self. I can tell you from my own experience that it is felt exactly as that (self-contraction), which becomes obvious at some point on the path, as contractions in the head and body. When these contractions/solidities (mainly in the head at the end in my case) fully dissolve and drop, the boundless field of consciousness becomes infinite and truly nondual. It is such a relaxation of tension/contration/localization/constant-background-contraction/"baseline-suffering". It feels like vast-spaciousness, nondual, limitless, so free and open. Bliss itself. And honestly, every being not living from this obviously and inevitably suffers, is in the claws of the merciless self-contraction. This becomes then totally clear once one has experienced this dropping of the self-contraction, which then creates compassion. Which stabilizes (paradoxically) Awakening and Nonduality even further. That is the beginning of boundless vast Non-Duality (not yet Enlightenment), in which Awakened nondual Awareness ripens (Roger Thisdell stage 4 to stage 5) towards Enlightenment, or the full dropping of anything separate, truly becoming Infinite Being. Here the bliss starts flowing, and the path starts showing itself to itself. Fueled by the bliss of True Being, which already starts giving a powerful attractor point starting here. Selling the bliss of vast nondual limitless spaciousness at the River PS: And for the "trying" to dissolve suffering. Yes, trying doesn't work. The dissolving of suffering/self-contraction is the case once it happens. Until then, while trying, there is suffering.

The main course of Nonduality just ain’t as tasty without the appetizer of Duality. Not to mention the dessert of “no one did all that seeking to go absolutely nowhere.”

But kidding aside, this is the Zen version of the key stage from going what some call Nonduality/Buddhism/rodents to Enlightenment. Beginning Nonduality is still in the dream, a subtle self merged in unity with the visual field, exchanging the dual dream for the nondual dream. But still a dream. When this Unity-self gets thinner and thinner, more and more transcended (Thisdell stage 4 to Thisdell stage 5), then: Everything - "every vestige of self-awareness", or any subtle I-feeling/I-thought/duality (all subtle illusions) have to be seen through and transcended with automized high-speed awarenes (speed, because these illusions arise extremly fast towards the end) and familiarity (strength, because there are some very subtle "feelings" and other arisings that constitute the separate-self) with these subtle obscurations. Speed & Strength of Awareness (courtesy to Frank Yang). And that has to be done automatic, no doer/agent doing it anymore ("Nonmeditation Yoga"). And then at the end it can really break open, in a way that can't be anticipated: You will see the Buddhas of all the universes face-to-face and the Dharma Ancestors past and present. Literally. Their essence. Before that stages, afterwards nowhere to go... Infinite Being.

Very well said. Duality and nonduality are two sides of the same coin. Reject one side, and you inevitably reject the whole coin... and guess what, reality can and will not be rejected. The sooner you realize this, the better. 💯

Reality is not non-dual Reality is dual Reality is fragmented Fragmented into so many tiny pieces Pieces, things made up of things, and more things That can not be explained, or known, or understand All forming one reality But reality is dual so there is many uncounted things in Existance Since reality is only many things, Reality does not exist, it is only the sum, the total of all that exists. And there are many totals. So a total does not exist. Reality is an illusion Existance, is an illusion For what existed formally does not appear now or enter our senses. Concuousness, is just a mechanical system done by your brain. However, no one can say that Existance or non existance exists or does not exist. It can only be known through concuousness. And you cannot say you exist or not as a body because you cannot say if anything is a thing or not a thing. Because it could exist or it can not exist. It can only be known through concuousness You can not know if concuousness exists, or not But you are conceous. Yet concuousness is the only one thing to be known to exist. Nothing else Yet everything exists So what's the difference between concuousness and non concuousness And who's to say that anything contrasts with Existance. There is not a thing that contests Existance So it is eternal it is infinate It is one, it is all It is whole and the sum of the parts In what it is. And who's to say that there is a distinction between the reader or me The typer and you Anything and you Not and you It is all I I

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this... Since I started to realise that perhaps not everything is what is seems (we are not the body, and probably don't exist etc) I've noticed that my sex drive has completely disappeared... Like, I still sort of find the form of a woman appealing... but not like I used to... I mean, we are not the body. It's just a bunch of particles, isn't it? What's attractive about a bunch of carbon particles and molecules? I went from having a ridiculous sex drive to next to nothing really.. I have no desire to make love to my 'Self'... just seems a bit weird. Anyone else experienced the same?

Reality/True Being has the potential of infinitel intelligence. So is is infinite intelligent. Our universe alone can sustain mathematics with which infinite dimensions can be calculated/simulated/described (4 dimensional worlds, 5, n, n+1, non-euclidian, hyperbolic, and what not). Anything that can be done in this universe has to be a potential in Infinite True Being (and much more). Same with life. True Being is not a dead Nothing. Every potential and intelligence we see must be inherent as potential in Infinity. "It" True You is that which is aware, and that which understands and creates all, maintains all, and it is THAT which does all understanding. What else could manifest the show? And be aware of it. Realize it, and you will have these facets all at once. Why do you create a duality between True Being, then Intelligence, then life, then infinite, the flow, and all the other stuff. Hasn't it been written many times True Being/Absolute is infinite (not finite), and has infinite potential? Infinity easily fits into True Being. All of the various infinities mathematics can describe. Buuut the path to realizing that Infinite True Being is first getting rid of anything finite, and limitations, and filters/dualities/lenses of perceptions... because these cloud the realization of "the" Infinite True Absolute Being. Neti Neti. Impersonal. No duality via filters/centers/contractions of the separate self. And then looking what remains, what is always there. "Bombing" oneself to boundlessness and nonduality, or whiteouts, (or what not) via psychedelics doesn't not dissolve these last filters/centers/contractions fully (at least I have never seen one case). Not enough time & clarity in these states. This dissolving of filters/centers/contractions has to be done with "on-board-means", not only external devices. It is the price the universe demands, transcendence of the little ego. Like, at least getting rid a little bit of the annoying bug as entry ticket to the Absolute, so to say...

life is automatic and Being is just percieving whatever this body is doing without controling it, as if it was watching a movie and coudn't change the script? (help me if doesn't make any sense) I'm also noticing the paralels beetween the awake and lucid dream states relating to the way my mind fear to surrender and desire to control the situation, in the context of lucid dreaming, I don't get very far, I feel like I am not in control, that obviously scares the ego and ends the experience. In those lucid dreams, I get deeply involved to the surroudings, as if there is no "me", and everything is just rolling like a movie, and if I ever try to manipulate the dream (ego fear/ general thinking), it will end. Also, is it legit to achieve nonduality through lucid dreaming? Or nonduality cannot exist within a dream

@Leo Gura Does "alien" spirituality feels like a more synthetic or sci-fi in comparison to the organic ordinary nonduality?

On an Absolute Level, "it" or better True You is solipsistic. Alone and infinite. True You/Infinite Being is "alone" because "it" is infinite with nothing possibly outside of it. But that is True You/True Being. And someone who is not enlightened doesn't (by definition) know the difference between the current identity and True Being, or else he/she would be enlightened and no longer be asking these questions... So talking about Solipsism and God is just counterproductive when talking with beings who have not realized their True Nature. Because they will project their ego on the concept of God or Solipsism, no other chance. First become Nothing (no separate-self), then you will be everything (Infinite Being) - Thisdell stage 4, becoming Thisdell stage 5/Enlightenment. But better not project a little separate something (illusion-separate-self) on everything (Roger Thisdell stage 3 "Godmind"). Or: I am God imagining everything. That makes Thisdell stage 3 a cul-de-sac, no way forward to stabilize Awakening in daily life and ease the suffering. Which is exactly what we see here, with a few added ETs. Is Infinite Being not enough? Does it need to be called God? As I have written several times, I don't really like the pointer God, because it is normally loaded with other meaning on top. God = omnipresent, infinite, timeless/eternal/immortal, creating/manifesting/imagining the whole gig: Same for True Infinite Being. One without a second. But all the stuff projected on top of it when using the pointer God instead of Infinite Being, the one without a second, is often not for the faint of hearted. It anthropomorphizes Infinite True Being/Reality with properties and intentions that are just not there on the most fundamental level, and then proejcts it on the illusion-ego/illusion separate-self. "I am God". Only very few can truthfully say that, because most have not realized their True Being and can't tell the difference to ego/separate-self. And those who can say that truthfully and not fall for the illusion normally don't talk like that, because they know from their own practice it is not beneficial for beings with the ego/separate-self illusion not fully seen through. As soon as one talks like that to not enlightened beings, they almost always project the properties of True Being (or God) on themselves, their separate-identity, which they still have not seen through. Because else they would be enlightened. And these separate-self-identities-arisings/illusions are that which have to be cut down/transcended for Enlightenment to happen. And using the grandiose word "God" tends to blow these illusion-arising up to cosmic proportions: "I" imagine everything. No. "Your" True Being does. But what is that? What is the constant always here True Being? Here also in Deep Sleep? Before ones birth? And if one would fully know the difference between True Being and separate-self/ego, one wouldn't talk about these topics using pointers/concepts like God/Solipsism, because it would be all clear anyway... And one wouldn't need to state I am God and I imagine everything, because.... well... TO WHOM? Well, I guess you get the point. At the level of Infinite Being one is alone. But there is no one there to feel alone, because that would be an anthropomorphic illusion arising of a separate-self WITHIN True Being. It just is what it is. And always has been. And with an enlightened being talking like that it is not necessary. Makes no sense. One sees and knows the Awakened Nondual enlightened State the "other" is in (and nobody really home), and it is clear. Imagine a discussion like: I am God! No, I am God! No, you are not! We are God! That is all illusion, starting with the words "I" and "we". Lot of talk of God and Solipsism happens on Thisdells stage 3 "God-stage, God-mind". Infinite Nonduality with separate-self/remaining identity/ego not fully seen through". It is contradictory, not stable, with lots of illusions still going on. And that is presupposing its done from real nondual states. Most of the time, its done from not nondual states, just from the conceptual level. And from there, it is more insanity than anything else. The discussion then goes like: "No, small you is not God. Big You, True Being, is. But first find out what that is before talking about God & Solipsism". And because of all these contradictions that doing that move includes, there is so much discussion here about these topics. Because it is not clear, but contradictory. Sometimes I use the pointer God, but normally it is not a good pointing/teaching tool. Ever noticed that very few enlightened teachers that are public talk about how they are God and imagining everything, and they are all alone and Solipsism and so on? They do, if you listen between the lines or read/see enough stuff. Sometimes even explictily. Sometimes, even complete books like the Supreme Source have been written, that even got the approval by our host as God Realization. And these enlightened teachers normally don't talk about them being God/Solipsism. Not because they are too stupid to know what God is, and what Solipsism/Aloneness on the Absolute Level means. And they do know that all is an imagined illusion happening within "their" own Infinite Being/True Being by definition. If they wouldn't, they wouldn't be enlightened. But they don't throw that in public at a poor ego to blow it up to cosmic proportions, because that doesn't help their students going from Thisdell stage 3 to 4 to 5. It usually even prevents getting the ego stage 1 to witness stage 2 to nondual stage 3. Because to get there sobre and without psychedelics, one already has to kill/transcend the ego/separate-self quite a lot... Nothing kills sobre Awakened Nonduality better than saying to oneself: I AM GOD. A "normal" identification of I am a human so and so suffices to do that... And one more thing: If Nonduality (or Buddhism) gets bashed: Nonduality is NOT automatically Enlightenment, or realization of True Infinite Being/Reality. It is Thisdells stage 3 Godmind. A boundless nondual infinite field of Awareness, with a separate-self still well and alive hijacking that! And that most Buddhist are not enlightened should go without saying.. Stage 3 Godmind. That is where one gets with psychedelics. And maybe even stage 4 a bit. But I have never seen a mainly psychedelic aficionado get to stage 5, True No Self (also nondual, but without center/separate-self-illusion, truly being the Infinite Totality/Being). Stable Nondual realization of Infinite Being in daily life. Maybe somebody knows one, would be very interested. Can't rule out that one exists, or that one wakes up just by the impulse of a psychedelic. It is just, I have never seen one. I know quite a lot that have done that with transcending/meditation of the false illusion separate self. So basically "Nonduality" and "Buddhism" gets bashed, because one doesn't know that stage 3 "Godmind"/Nonduality is not yet True Being or Enlightenment. Of course merely Nondual Realisation doesn't bring "God-Realization", or understanding that True Being imagines/manifests all of it, and that ones True Self is that. That is stage 5, or the link (Supreme Source) above. Or True Enlightenment. Psychedelics get one to Nonduality, maybe in more sophisticated cases to realizing that it is all imagined/manifested to fool "oneself". But it doesn't get oneself conforming to the impersonal infinite nondual enlightened mindstream. And that is why this "realization" is not stable in daily life. Still suffering/resisting the content of ones own True Infinite Being. "Solution": add a few ETs from higher levels of Reality, and call that higher than realizing and being ones True Infinite Being. And be proud on ones own continuing suffering/resistance towards happens within ones True Infinite Nondual Being, and declare that as inevitable. Or something like that. Well, quite a show Maya is dishing "us" up this time, isn't it Selling God&Solipsism Water by the River The Koan still is: What is the True Being of the ET at the end, really? And that of any other ET, n+1?

So it is Wednesday and tonight I got drunk again yay. (It has been a week). Now on the spiritual path many people preach "addictions" and "bad shit" and "alcohol" and "carbs" and how all things have to be avoided to be "enlightened". Lol. But nondoership. You see, at some point, you become aware there is no you and you don't have control over what you do. You are just along for the ride! Well I am drunk, so should I be feeling guilty for drinking? If so...how do I feel guilty for being drunk when I am not a doer, I didn't get drunk as there is no I to get drunk. Consciousness used to to get drunk to experience this moment, as a drunk. Do you see the problem here? On one hand these teacher preach nonduality and nondoership. On the same hand, they preach how you gotta give up all of lifes pleasures to become enlightened. MAKES. NO. SENSE. Therefore, is a teacher can't even distinguish the hypocrasy in that, how can you trust them at all?

Yes, you can't find it because True Self has no location, it is nonlocal, centerless, boundless and infinite. The whole infinite nondual field/vastness. What can be found are (bodily-) sensations/feelings like a center/solidity, imposed limitations, imagined boundaries of the visual field (imagination of boundary with somehow somatic sensation of boundary on top), and a lot of thoughts/feelings/concept of being human. Yet, all of that can be seen as an object, arising IN ones consciousness, floating in Infinite Being. But there is no short-cut. It needs practice and seeing into the nature of all thoughts (emptiness/consciousness, which makes them dissolve and cut off) and into all bodily solidities/centers has to be done again and again, since the Gestalt of the illusion reassembles itself very fast. Neti Neti, not this, not that. Or not only this or only that. It takes a long time to get to nondual states (Thisdell stage 3), where a felt fast spaciousness open up and nonduality (still with a murky self left) starts. Good news is: Beginning here bliss starts flowing when in these states just by being in them, and the path becomes truly wonderful. That is beginning freedom. Frank Yang described his Enlightenment when his two last items that didn't conform to the enlightened mindstream were realized (after a long time of removing pretty much everything before, Roger Thisdell stage 2&3&4): all bodily sensations parading as a center or solidity were gone and dissolved (head, chest,...). Just vast spaciousness without a center. the cluster of sensations/thoughts claiming to be the watching all meditation-process of shutting off each thought-arising were seen as also mere clusters of thoughts. Basically also for him the crossing over to Enlightenment, or understanding True Infinite Being/Reality/Consciousness happened when the mindstream conformed to the enlightened mindstream. Then Infinite Being/Reality awakens to its True Being in that perspective/being/mindstream. Good. That is the thorn with which to remove the thorn. But also notice that this thought ""self, I cannot find you, where are you" is again a thought (or a cluster of thoughts/sensations/feelings) claiming ownership/identity, which creates another illusion-identity. But it has to be done like that, until that is automized. Then one switches to automatic meditation (Nonmeditation-Yoga). Bon voyage Selling Water by the River