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Bidens legacy despite any of the possible good he did will be overshadowed with him presiding over a plausible genocide he didn’t do anything to stop, nuclear brinkmanship with Russia - crossing red lines by green lighting ATACMS for Ukrainians to use before his departure, and giving blanket immunity to his son over a 11 year time period starting from when Ukraine shenanigans kicked off. Biden’s in the fuck it phase of his term - with no care for optics even. Pardoning potential crimes in addition to actual ones sounds more like he’s visited a confessional. This just gives Donald Trump ammunition to be like “Look, see! The games rigged and they don’t care about you” to his base. It’s like a political suicide bomb strapped to the Democratic parties chest. The right will be milking this tit harder than Piers Morgan.

Seriously? Is that how you refute solipsism? By saying there is no self in the first place which is said to be the only real self in existence? Do you really think nobody has ever brought up this objection before in the countless solipsistic debates on this forum ? And Besides..I call this intellectual suicide. There is no self ..no others ..then there is what ? Pure unbroken impersonal consciousness floating around in the middle of nowhere.....? What to make of this ?

@Razard86 interesting. Let's see where this takes us while expanding on the self worth issue. As far as I remember my issues with self love became much worse after a messed up sexual incident from when I was six and my mom accused me of molesting my sister. This was worsened by my father abandoning me and of course I blamed myself for that too. I have been trying to love myself all along but it literally felt impossible. I tried to reestablish my sense of self worth by placing really high standards on myself like sexual purity, leaving a legacy after my death, commitment to truth which ultimately brought me to actualized.org even though truth hurts me and I might not actually like it, deep intelligence and wisdom, and justifying my existence through living a higher purpose beyond things like sex and relationships. I'm not actually Christian, but I developed Christ like standards and began to self sacrifice. I viewed purpose as something that would give me the will and strength to live. I discovered I was capable of self deception when I told myself it was just nightmare and I tried to love myself by avoiding self deception and facing the truth no matter how painful, but I still felt unlovable. All I do is hurt myself even when I try to love myself. One of my therapists suggested that my self worth is wrapped up in constant self punishment leading to intense shame. And of course it wasn't just one incident, there was a lot of chaos in my childhood which eventually built up into suicidal thoughts and other problems as I got older. I'm pausing a lot as I type, sometimes wanting to cry and wanting to die. I'll keep doing my best no matter how hopeless and how much of a broken record I sound like for complaining about my problems. Most people don't want to here this stuff. Sometimes I talk about this stuff because this type of sexual trauma is not well known and discussed. I have met people carrying intense shame for child sex abuse in which they were perpetrators as children. These people are suicidal, nobody loves them or wants to hear from them, and they live their lives in constant darkness. I was the first to validate the feelings of these people because I know this kind of stuff makes You want to kill yourself and others would celebrate. I want this kind of suffering to be better known because it is a deeply taboo subject that is ignored, causing children to commit suicide. I'm actually trying to be good, but other people cannot see that. I don't allow children to suffer like this, and I protect them. I considered making a support group for people like this because this kind of support group doesn't exist. It shows too much compassion for child molesters and is thus demonized because suicide is preferred from society's point of view. Remember most child sex abuse is perpetrated by other youth, not adults. Obviously I'm not minimizing the suffering of the victim, but if ever I speak of this, it will be interpreted that way and I will appear as a devil. You mentioned that I am not in control of what I like and dislike. I thought I was. This meant that I was responsible for the problems caused by the fact that I like board games and strategy games and I would enjoy being a professional chess player. The career is impractical and it looks like I'm sabotaging my long term life so long as I don't give up and keep trying. I don't see what kind of long term life is worth living anyway. In reality chess does not give enough value to society. I actually love training kids for chess tournaments and then I watch them win. My desire to be a professional chess player and help others achieve it is seen as a fundamental problem with me because of what I like. Apparently, I'm supposed to just accept that this was never a realistic goal for me and then somehow find happiness doing something else. I find it extremely demoralizing when I'm repeatedly told I need to give up because I'm not good enough due to my life circumstances and birth iq no matter how much effort and accomplishments I have in this field. Somehow personal development is supposed to solve the fundamental problem that I like chess tournaments and teach me to be content with life by forcing myself to do something more valuable to society even if I don't enjoy it. The only way to compensate the misery this causes me is by doing something so grandiose that it would be worth sacrificing my happiness. All of these options are unobtainable and unrealistic anyway. Therefore, the end is that I'm stuck in a shitty job I hate no matter how hard I try. The problem is that I'm supposed to like something else and be passionate about something practical and then I can follow my passions. This is the reality of personal development no matter how it is marketed on the surface. All of this sounds like complete bullshit to me and I don't feel motivated at all. I don't have the energy and enthusiasm I used to have when teaching children how to win tournaments. It logically follows that if I like things that don't contribute objective value to society, then they should be discarded in favor of things I don't like. In my case, I also like videogames. Playing videogames does not contribute objective value to society even if it makes me happy like board games. If I want to build a life worth living, then I must instead force myself to read personal development books even if I don't enjoy it. This helped me to further accumulate wisdom that I used to help suicidal people when combined with deep self reflection. I therefore provided objective value to society by not doing what I liked and instead doing what I disliked. I logically understand that I am good person for saving people from suicide, but I still don't feel happy because my happiness was sacrificed a long time ago. I have done so much research on psychology that I often prove more helpful then actual therapists. There are far too many incompetent therapists and I know better than them despite their college education. Sometimes they oversimplify spiritual views they don't understand, leading to the pre trans fallacy due to their lack of interest in philosophy, probably because they thought mere philosophy has no objective value for society. Sometimes they don't take me seriously when I'm the victim of sexual harassment. I am more sensitive to how society constructs a perceived "justice" by either dismissing a person's grievances as if they are just whiney bitches because they don't want to hear it or by weaponizing accusations by making every negative assumption until any defense seems impossible in their eyes. This is the reality of what humans call "justice" and it is full of socially constructed survival games and complete bullshit. Society treated me like I was a whiney bitch for complaining about sexual harassment and the difficult social dynamics it was creating for me and my therapist didn't see this. Aside from this there are also therapists who dogmatically apply therapeutic principles without regard for individual uniqueness or they insist on tough love for trauma victims. Therapy is designed for shallow minded people, thus my intelligence will be underestimated leading to bad advice. Sometimes they try to solve my problems by getting me to date despite severe depression, of they have reasons, but they don't see the full picture. Apparently, it is hard to find a good therapist for someone with autism like me leading to all this disappointment. On the bright side I actually like studying psychology and it provides objective value for society. The actual goal of personal development and life purpose is to like and be passionate about something that is practical and provides objective value to society. I have accomplished this by studying psychology. I just do it for free instead of making money because I see this as basic human decency to support people who need help. I have been treating personal development as something that is supposed to fundamentally change who I am. Who I am is the problem so long as my dreams are impractical and unvalued because of what I like and dislike. You are suggesting that I use spirituality to love who I am. I have been trying to love myself all along. I have been trying to do this all my life. I have the proof that I am valuable and society would be worse off if I killed myself. This is what I remind myself of when I try to fight my suicidal thoughts. I still struggle to love myself despite having a ton of proof. I have a lot of automatic shame and guilt due to trauma and it leads to me having muscle spasms and instinctively beating myself up for being evil no matter how much my logical mind tells me this isn't true. I am a deeply logical person and this is pointed out by my life coaches. They think I'm not as in touch with my emotional side because I seem robotic sometimes. I actually studied a lot of books on emotional mastery and did a lot of mindfulness meditation and exercises. I am more emotionally wise than others realize. There is just a tendency to project bad faith as humans inevitably do, leading it to be impossible to be understood. In a sense I am both extremely emotional and extremely logical because I use logic to cope with extreme emotions. Do I need to be more logical or more emotional? In reality people who are suicidal might do it because they logically conclude that their life sucks and they can avoid suffering through death. Maybe I'm not emotional enough instead of logical enough. Intellectually I know I am love, but I'm still full of so much shit that I don't live my life in bliss over how awesome I am objectively. Maybe I'm not logical enough instead of emotional enough. Maybe logic and emotion is a false dichotomy. I was under the impression that true spirituality meant plugging 5meo dmt up my ass and realizing that I am God. That is what Leo would do because God is also love. I thought that spirituality would give me another chance to love myself by reconextualizing my entire life and fundamentally changing my identity. I can't be conscious enough to realize I am God because I haven't plugged 5meo dmt up my ass. This is why I struggle with love. Based on what I wrote in this short, brief, quick post, that took me three hours to write you seem to be correct that fundamentally, I want to be treated with respect, be comfortable pursuing what I love, and I want to share love with others. I think you were insightful in that regard. I will have to think about what I would tell my child or my best friend of they were in this position. If it were a child, then obviously I would make the struggles of a chess career clear, but I would be willing to support him all along the way to the best of my abilities to ensure your dream becomes a reality and you don't have to suffer all this regret from unrealized dreams on your death bed as if it is your fault for not being good enough or for being who you are. For a best friend stuck at a shitty job with a shitty family and suffering from a lot of shitty mental health issues because of very shitty trauma while feeling shitty because of unobtainable goals and Christ like standards, then I would give him a hug. I would tell him that you deserve to be loved even though you are seemingly fucked because of your shitty life. There are no easy answers, but I want to be there to support you in what ever way I can as you cling to the hope that one day your life will not be as shitty as it presently is even though your presently shitty life makes you want to kill yourself. It will not solve your problems, but love is all I can offer you. Any thoughts? Thank you so far.

@Razard86 both. Sometimes they happen passively. Sometimes they are intrusive and unwanted but I get the idea of acting on them anyway. Other times I just feel horribly depressed because I feel trapped and unable to address several complex life problems as if it is reflective of my self worth and objective value as a human being. Other times like yesterday my family brings up unresolved past conflicts in which my vulnerability was capitalized on to humiliate me while treating the situation like a joke or harmless teasing. These memories then got stuck in my head again as I became afraid of future harm like my trauma being weaponized against me along with all of the negative assumptions that would be made from the knowledge that I contacted my cousin. My protective instincts are invalidated as I constantly play 4D chess with my family trying to anticipate possible attacks. I recognize that I will be seen as the problem of I express feeling hurt, yet I will be pressured to forgive those who show no remorse and will likely cause future harm. Because of this I started feeling the desire to inflict harm on them. I recognized the kind of thoughts I was having that would obviously backfire. I looked at the person I would become and was ashamed of myself. I therefore said, fuck it, I should just kill myself to eliminate my desire to harm others. That is when I pulled out a kitchen knife and then hesitated because I didn't know which way to cut myself and considered what would happen to me after a likely failed suicide attempt. I probably should have called 988 because I was having both suicidal and homicidal thoughts, but I didn't call. Of course homicide is obviously bad because there's no way in hell I can get away with something like that rather than suicide by jumping off of a bridge in which my death prevents punishment. That is why I prefer suicide over homicide. Any therapist would try to convince my family it wasn't their fault no matter how much harm they caused me to make them feel better about themselves. That way the harm would be minimal due to these fictions and controlled narratives. Other times my suicidal thoughts are related to things like purpose, trauma, family drama, career struggles, and things of that nature along with depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, autism, and whatever neurological disorders I have. I protect myself from acting on these thoughts by recognizing that although my family does not see my value, I see my value and my potential to do good for humanity. This value would be lost if I killed myself and became another statistic. I have helped others in life transforming ways. If I can make it through this, then the value I provide the world will likely prevent many more suicides. I have saved others from suicide before by combining all of my research with psychology and spirituality, making me deeply insightful and wise for those struggling with these kinds of thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I can't help myself though and my problems can't be solved through more wisdom and knowledge. That might be why I start complaining about life on this forum instead. Personal development was meant to help me actualize my true value as I find new purpose. Thanks you.

The two paths to God.....mental suicide, or physical suicide. I'd suggest the mental suicide. True Deconstruction of the Ego is literally torture. It destroys your sense of control to reveal that the human vessel has been controlled by God this whole time and any control given to the ego was an allowance by God. This ego then realizes everything it ever accomplished was only by God's allowance, and realizes all issues it has with life it must take to God. It must learn to forgive itself, forgive life, and ultimately to forgive God as God is itself and how can it not love itself and accept itself. This path will deal with crazy, madness, possible psychosis and hallucinations. As you dissolve the boundary between the physical and mental to realize it is all mental you embrace what you consider evil, and even seek it out to reach greater acceptance. This is the path of the MADMAN, the CRAZY LOVER. God is a lover of Infinite Separation and Unification. WHAT MADNESS!!!! Take this for example: This was you, and this was me....look at what we did!!! Tell me God is not crazy from the egos perspective!!! Its like why would you allow this? Answer? Because God wants itself to discover true love without being forced into it. Sigh.....Since we are everything...WE DID THIS!!! Do you like your reflection?

You got it!!! Don't forget its also completely in love with itself, and has no barriers on what it is willing to create and experience. What helps me understand God more deeply is that God loves everything so much because it loves limitless creativity. This means it loves Genocide, discrimination, torture, suicide, insults, weakness, crying, despair. As a human ego coming to terms with THAT is when you really go deep. The funniest thing is when you discover even God thinks its evil. God allows all perspectives, and honors all perspectives, so when God as a human calls God a Devil God accepts that unconditionally.

Rumi is absolutely authentic. Where Rumi said that reality is nothing? Show. Do you compare Rumi whit a clown as Osho or Krishnamurti? Don't you see the difference? I think that you see, it's too obvious Krishnamurti over all is wonderful, it's a real artist of the fake. Osho is totally narcissist, very smart, maybe a genius, not maybe , a genius, but closed to the real source. He feeds of attention, is oxygen to him, and his mashamadi was just suicide with drugs , because was a man who suffered Don't be naive, the world is full of devils. Being open is not the same than being idiot 🤣

So it all started when I was 16 and had really bad depression and suicidal thoughts, my mind was really corrupted by materialism and theism and mainstream science ideas. Mainly because truth it my highest value so I studied science all day long pretty much. Maybe the depression part is genetic or something but materialism did not helped at all. I was given ssri and it stopped my depression and suicidal thoughts and me being a human being with emotions too. When I was 18 I stopped the ssri and I was emotionally blunt same as with ssri but my emotions started to come back and I had suicidal thoughts again and I didn’t wanted to get back to the ssri because it was like being a zombie. I read about shrooms to help with it and I was like it is better than killing myself so I took it. It was really helpful for my depression (pretty much ended it) and I was really curious how it works and the more I discovered the more I needed to destroy materialism. But I was so young , I took them when I was 19 years old and I wanted to use more psychedelics. But it is not recommended for this age, also I was very attached to societal view on psychedelics and still was materialist so I decided to do a BA in psychology and philosophy to verify what leo and other mistics say and also maybe make some kind of career because I need money like everyone ( I did LP course of leo, over all I have don’t it 4 times every 2 years). I leant mainly materialist theories of conciseness in uni and the more I studies the more stupid they looked like till I stopped believing in materialism. I didn’t had any depression or suicidal ideation during my studies, I struggled mainly with ADHD till I found and it looked pretty promising career for me. I could make good money from it , it wasn’t devilry, really revolutionary treatment , I could make lots of money and then talk about psychedelics and philosophy and all the things I like and had money to support myself. So I was teaching this method to other people and got some results but the more I worked in this business I could do less and less each day till I couldn’t do anything. It sounds good but I don’t want to help people with ADHD , I want to learn about truth! I like conciseness because it is dealing with truth and I really liked to discover all the mechanism of the mind which this method helped me with some of them, till I discovered them and I had no interest in them. So I got all my plans destroyed , I didn’t had any idea what to do with my life because leo says you need to get money and be indented and also not have depression and suicidal ideation so I was kinda stuck. And I talked about this with my psychologist, and lots of the information was in hindsight here , I didn’t know that I wanted to do psychedelics, I just looked for what I can do instead of my ADHD biz, till we talked about that I want to do psychedelics and pretty much nothing else for now,I am just worried about finance in the future because now I am fine and I avoid psychedelics because it is not recommended and because I had some fear from ego death experience i had but I think it is less relevant because I had some solutions (just do it or taking something lighter and work my way from there) I am stuck in a some kind of a loop of being depressed and suicidal , then thinking about doing psycadelics, being normal and happy , getting scared of it, thinking doing something instead, getting depressed and suicidal instead and it repeats. On one hand I don’t have any money making LP (not money making LP I do have) and I cant pressure anything that will make me money because it will make me depressed ,I have neuroticism and suicidal ideation when I don’t do psychedelics at least so I am kinda confused on if I should just do psychedelics. Even my psycologist tell me that I should do it but something stopping me. Anyway, I don’t really know the solution go get me to do it. Maybe encouragement?

Physical pain exists .no question about it. Suffering is the story of "why me ?" .."poor little me ".."why is life such a bitch ".."why my life sucks " .etc I always say ..pain is inevitable..but suffering is optional . You can actually train yourself to not feel suffering when you feel pain . It's just a sensation .it doesn't mean anything really . Poke your skin with a needle and feel the pain but notice that it doesn't really mean you should construct a story aka suffering around this meaningless sensation. Suffering exists only in the mind .pain in the body .you can't get rid of your body (except via suicide).. but you can get rid of your mind by questioning it to death . As long as you are not totally destroyed as a mind ..there is no hope for you to escape suffering.

I don't agree with this. What you mentioned, except for depression and PTSD are physical ailments of the body. People will go through a physical ailment with more strength than a mental incapacitation. You mentioned depression; that can be caused from a feeling of loneliness. Many tines I've heard, especially men, say if they had the courage to they would kill themselves over not having a gf or an intimate partner. In fact, many probably do. The fact that it's been said indicates that it's probable that some have. Old people committing suicide is also on the rise because of loneliness. All their friends and family died off leaving them all alone. That's just one reason. I find people will fight their diseases quicker than to deal with the crippling effect of feeling lonely. That feeling usually comes after many attempts to avoid it and then the hopelessness kicks in after they've exhausted their attempts. People can still feel lonely being around others. It's because it's not the lack of others that's causing it, it's the mind's interpretation of what it's like to not feel lonely. When that's not met, people or no people will still bring on the effects.

Hello, I thought I might share a write-up Reconstructing Meaning, which delves into how updating our sensemaking narratives to be more flexible, compassionate, and expansive is a promising path for addressing the societal Meaning Crisis that's feeding fascism. ____________________________________________________________ The Need For Reconstructive Epistemology To appreciate the need for reconstructive epistemology, we can ask what happens when a culture’s foundational narratives become maladaptive. When institutions calcify against change, their legitimizing stories erode, leaving a society unmoored. Without a more expansive and compassionate story to take its place, the resulting abyss breeds monsters - darker narratives that feed on alienation, fear, and resentment. Weaponized nostalgia for a lost world has bred some of the darkest chapters in human history, from the Ku Klux Klan to Hitler’s Germany to contemporary Christian Nationalism. What’s crucial to understand here is that these constructed narratives aren’t just stories - they’re the invisible scaffolding that holds civilization together, transforming millions of strangers into a functional society through shared forms of meaning and identity. To understand why we need such narratives at all, let’s trace their emergence in human social evolution. These binding narratives became essential once populations grew beyond what hunter-gatherer bonds could sustain. Just as bees are adapted for a hive and wolves for a pack, human sociality evolved within a tribe - where everyone knows everyone else through face-to-face interactions and extended kinship. While living among a sea of strangers is something we’ve come to take for-granted, a ‘tribe’ of millions would have been an unthinkable contradiction for our ancestors. The evolutionary fingerprint of our tribal origins persists in modern humans - we can only maintain meaningful face-to-face relationships with about 150 individuals, a limit known as Dunbar's number. To bridge this gap, we developed social-technologies that would allow interactions with strangers to become a routine part of life. Chief among these was the creation of constructed social identities - shared stories that sustain social trust without requiring face-to-face bonds or kinship ties. These narratives aren't merely cultural artifacts - they're the foundation that makes modern society possible. Human rights, democracy, money, and science are constructed narratives that built the modern world. If people stopped believing in them they would cease to exist, yet calling them ‘imaginary’ is to miss how they shape our material reality. Despite their appearance of stability within a human life, these constructed narratives inevitably break down - through internal contradictions, mounting external pressures, or both. We'll call this process Construct Collapse. While civilizations can and do collapse entirely, our focus here is on societies that endure a narrative breakdown. In these cases, the void will be filled, one way or another. Construct Collapse itself isn’t positive or negative - its impact depends entirely on what replaces the fallen narrative. Very few people today would openly argue that the collapse of narratives that supported slavery was a bad thing. On the flip side, totalitarian ideologies which exploit Construct Collapse during states of crisis demonstrate its inherent dangers - as Nazism’s rise from the trauma of World War 1 and the austerity of the Great Depression make painfully clear. It’s a lesson we may have to live through again, as today’s democracies find themselves under the assault of authoritarianism from within and without. Between these extremes of clear benefit and catastrophic harm, Construct Collapse typically creates more ambiguous outcomes - addressing existing problems while introducing unforeseen consequences. Consider Friedrich Nietzsche's famous declaration that 'God is dead, and we have killed him.' He was describing the displacement of organized religion as the foundation of meaning in Western life. Writing amidst the rapid changes of 19th century Europe, he foresaw how traditional cultural narratives would become increasingly untenable, swept aside by the forces of modernity - science, industrialization, and secular values. His warning was tat existential needs for meaning and purpose aren’t so easily excised. And that in lieu of suitable replacements, cynicism, despair, and empty consumerism would rush to fill the void. While his proposed solution - moving 'beyond good and evil' to pursue individual will regardless of ethical consequences - was deeply toxic, Nietzsche correctly diagnosed the looming crisis. In our own era, we find ourselves amid what cognitive scientist John Vervaeke has termed the 'Meaning Crisis.' Its symptoms are evident in the widespread adoption of conspiracy theories, political extremism, and bullshit in public discourse. The cumulative effect has been nothing short of disastrous for the civil society that sustains democracy. Social media platforms, whose business models push user engagement through divisive, inflammatory content, have only accelerated this decline. While these may seem like recent problems, they're an intensification of profit-driven media's long history of exploiting social fragmentation for private gain. Amongst this rising polarization, we’re facing an unprecedented mental health crisis in the West - millions are feeling alienated, lonely, and displaced. In the United States, 'deaths of despair' - through suicide and substance abuse - have driven a decline in life expectancy. An unfolding ecological crisis, poised to reshape human civilization over the upcoming century, is deepening this collective trauma. A global resurgence in fascism has been ruthlessly exploiting this trauma, promising to make our societies ‘great’ again while worsening the very crises it feeds upon. This cumulative upheaval weighs heaviest on young people, where profound anxiety and despair about the world they’ll be inheriting is commonplace (here in the United States, a shared meme among Millenials and Gen Z is that our retirement plan is to die from climate change before old age). Gen Alpha, our youngest generation, has never known a world before today’s hyper-polarized dysfunction. Amid skyrocketing inequality, basic milestones of adult life - buying a home, starting a family, saving for retirement - have become impossible dreams for most. Yet economic and political dysfunction flows downstream from culture. While these material factors are very real, we’re also facing something deeper: an epistemological crisis in the West, with different segments of society no longer inhabiting the same Reality. Beyond different interpretations over basic facts that we can more or less agree upon, reaching a foundational consensus for productive disagreements has become nearly impossible. The rise of artificial intelligence is poised to deepen these epistemic rifts even further. These developments poison our ability to cultivate shared understanding. As this crisis deepens, our social dysfunction will only worsen - making epistemological literacy more important now than ever before. Of course, no epistemology - Enactivism included - can be a silver bullet for this crisis. What perspectives like this can offer is greater self awareness around our sensemaking narratives. Enactivism is reconstructive because it acknowledges that constructed narratives play an essential role in meeting our individual and collective needs, while recognizing that some constructions serve us better than others. And the path forward lies in narratives that are flexible, compassionate, and inclusive. In sum: reconstructive epistemology isn’t about returning to the ‘good old days’ of a romanticized past. The framework we’re proposing offers no quick-fixes for complex problems. Nor is it meant to be a dogmatic, one-size-fits-all approach. Rather, Enactivism is meant to exist in dialogue with other epistemological perspectives - not because all views are equally valid, but because the perspective if offers is true but partial.

On this forum, I noticed Leo make a post suggesting that most people don't do the work. Most of us use Leo to deepen our self deception. I decided to use this as a point of self reflection. I did some of the work like doing the life purpose course and getting the book list. There are other things I likely don't do enough of. I don't want to fool myself into thinking I am advanced just because I listen to someone advanced. I actually care about truth on some level, hence I do a lot of self education, researching, reading, analyzing and observing myself and developing insights, and so forth. Sometimes I question if I value the truth enough. I try to force myself not to be in denial wherever I can, but perhaps I can not simply will my way to the truth like I can't will my way out of depression. There were times I used the ideas presented by you to form distorted views about politics and relationships such as my post about incest in which I tried to cover my shame around actual incest. Originally, I got into this work because spirituality and personal development gave me hope in creating a better life for myself. I became confused about my purpose because I wanted to be a professional chess player, but there was no clear path to achieve this. I was hoping to find a new purpose but I often still feel lost and confused. That all said, I have a plan in place for changing my life. I came to this conclusion while in treatment for three months over mental health and medication issues. My family still denies they need mental help even though mom threatened suicide, so there is not much I can do for them. After I move to Kentucky, I am going to set up a daily schedule along with annual goals. I want to explore a new career path in creative writing instead of chess. During this time I will be with the other side of the family with whom I have a healthier relationship. For work at the job I still hate, I will have around 25 hours a week to make sure I don't have constant and daily suicidal thoughts which still occur throughout the week. Unfortunately, no amount of therapy and antidepressant medication can solve This problem. This will also give me enough free time to work on myself and meet the annual goals, or likely surpass them. I plan to run this one year experiment to see if my life improves. It was recommended that I continue therapy. I will try, but I have doubts. My therapists have recommended dating despite having severe depression. They think I am lonely and they want to challenge my OCD around the opposite sex because they think I would be a decent boyfriend despite my conflicted feelings about sex due to past incest and my fear of ending up like mom and dad in a dysfunctional hell hole from which I can't escape. I don't see how this solves the suicidal thoughts though. Maybe one day I will realize I have no choice but to start my own business in order to have a decent living. You mentioned things like marketing in your wage slavery video. Living a passionless life with work you hate is too much suffering for me to bare. Maybe I have no choice but to do some other type of work I hate, but one which will make enough money for me to retire sooner so I can actually follow my passions and interests. As it stands my career interests are often impractical and complicated to actualize. This is part of where I got stuck in the life purpose course along with choosing a medium. You can respond to this with any thoughts or suggestions if you want. It would be appreciated, but you're a busy guy, so it's not guaranteed.

@Leo Gura I would like to use this post as something to contemplate. I did some of the work like doing the life purpose course and getting the book list. There are other things I likely don't do enough of. I don't want to fool myself into thinking I am advanced just because I listen to someone advanced. I actually care about truth on some level, hence I do a lot of self education, researching, reading, analyzing and observing myself and developing insights, and so forth. Sometimes I question if I value the truth enough. I try to force myself not to be in denial wherever I can, but perhaps I can not simply will my way to the truth like I can't will my way out of depression. There were times I used the ideas presented by you to form distorted views about politics and relationships such as my post about incest in which I tried to cover my shame around actual incest. Originally, I got into this work because spirituality and personal development gave me hope in creating a better life for myself. I became confused about my purpose because I wanted to be a professional chess player, but there was no clear path to achieve this. I was hoping to find a new purpose but I often still feel lost and confused. That all said, I have a plan in place for changing my life. I came to this conclusion while in treatment for three months over mental health and medication issues. My family still denies they need mental help even though mom threatened suicide, so there is not much I can do for them. After I move to Kentucky, I am going to set up a daily schedule along with annual goals. I want to explore a new career path in creative writing instead of chess. During this time I will be with the other side of the family with whom I have a healthier relationship. For work at the job I still hate, I will have around 25 hours a week to make sure I don't have constant and daily suicidal thoughts which still occur throughout the week. Unfortunately, no amount of therapy and antidepressant medication can solve This problem. This will also give me enough free time to work on myself and meet the annual goals, or likely surpass them. I plan to run this one year experiment to see if my life improves. It was recommended that I continue therapy. I will try, but I have doubts. My therapists have recommended dating despite having severe depression. They think I am lonely and they want to challenge my OCD around the opposite sex because they think I would be a decent boyfriend despite my conflicted feelings about sex due to past incest and my fear of ending up like mom and dad in a dysfunctional hell hole from which I can't escape. I don't see how this solves the suicidal thoughts though. Maybe one day I will realize I have no choice but to start my own business in order to have a decent living. You mentioned things like marketing in your wage slavery video. Living a passionless life with work you hate is too much suffering for me to bare. Maybe I have no choice but to do some other type of work I hate, but one which will make enough money for me to retire sooner so I can actually follow my passions and interests. As it stands my career interests are often impractical and complicated to actualize. This is part of where I got stuck in the life purpose course along with choosing a medium. You can respond to this with any thoughts or suggestions if you want. It would be appreciated, but you're a busy guy, so it's not guaranteed.

Literally Thomas Campbell. There are wackos, but you will not know about them because what you know is what is popular and mainstream. But yeah, it is rare because you are asking for someone to master two totally different and even adversarial domains. It's like you're asking why there are no hippie vegans working in a butchershop, or woke pacificst progressives working in the Navy Seals. Mastering quantum physics requires 10 years of academic PhD training. And by the time you have invested that much time and money, speaking about God will just get you blacklisted as an unscientific crackpot who no one in academia should ever read, hire, fund, or work with. It would be career suicide. And that 10 years of training will brainwash you so deeply with materialism that you will never understand God. And it's not like a new theory of quantum physics would be accessible to you or any laymen. So you would find it unsatisying too.

I hope kids will learn their rights as an individual you shouldn’t be forced to practice a religion but unfortunately America doesn’t see children as individuals or people. they see children as lesser or servants, etc. you’re not suppose to back talk, you’re not supposed to say you don’t want to. to me this is gross and I feel bad for the kids. school should be a safe place. And it’s increasingly becoming more of a hostile place. with school shootings and then alongside shoving the Bible down children’s throats. :// I doubt this is going to benefit them. And depression and anxiety in children might even sky rocket. Not to mention suicide from lgbtqia. I know not all teachers are the same however. my teacher for an example was a very safe place to be queer, and I was able to forget about the problems that was going on at home. And just be a kid. it wasn’t until high school did I encounter a teacher like her, but if the teachers can’t be a good example I’m praying that the kids have good friends to lean and depend on. community is everything.

Everything is just too good to be true. Imagine the escape to painless eternity from a reality that is indifferent and fundamentally negative being just a simple action. Suicide, regardless of what you think about it, is like Christ. A Christ you know for a fact* is real.

^ Basically Russia denies Ukraines right to free determination and existence, history etc. And Israel does the same with Palestine. Russia is like the hurt ex husband. Gosh you slutty Ukraine why you want to be closer with the west, am i not good enough? Am i too ugly? Now i‘m committing femicide or even better murder suicide.

Let them all suffer immensely. All of them absolutely deserve it and will pay a price that they can't even begin to comprehend: Many of them have essentially committed suicide and they won't ever know that until they ultimately meet their doom.

I've not experienced the suicide of a friend, but once with a classmate. Be gentle with yourself, take time and space to just be with your feelings if needed. Talk to supportive family members or friends if you can.

Okay to suicide? Are we killing ourself? // There are traces of my s still but there are no traces of me. Is this dangerous ? Or is this not dangerous? I have one old enrich number which, the two last digit of it is equal to my now phone number. But , I have forgotten my email password for this since last year. And today without thinking much about it , I created a new one. I have been holding it on because I don't wanna create a new one. Usually, even though I have forgotten my email I can still use my enrich to book flights because my mom would do it for me. She only needs my number so I don't have have my own apps/account. So I would still use that old number to travel. But now, I did things by myself. Even though I've been withholding myself today I didn't think about it and made it. So today I got a new number which is , not equal to my now phone number even though this card had been made 2decade ago? Idk. My latest phone number is just from last year. And it had the same last digit as this old enrich number. Am I dying? It is so depressing looking at this. That was me who did that.

Thank you for all your answers, I am trying all of those, from referring him to a suicide helpline to being understanding and motivating him and other stuff. Yet he really seems like he doesn't want help, his mindset is like "I have the freedom to not live my life and thats okay" Fuck. I will update you guys if something happens, apparently he has a planned date that is near to do it but refuses to tell me when.

I highly, highly doubt that there is a logical route against suicide. If depressed people do one thing all the time, its thinking. Going through all the logical motions of the mind. Never coming to rest. Of course maybe there an obvious believe pattern that can be lifted through conversation therapy. But if one is already planning suicide, I doubt he has just overseen some obvious negative belief. Especially if the depression is already going on for a prolonged time. As is, somehow the case with the above mentioned friend. Just speaking from my experience of dealing with depression and suicidal ideation.

If he is acutely on the verge of suicide, medications like benzodiazepines or even ketamines are a good acute solution. They bring their fair share of innate problems with them, but in a die or live situation, you have to win time. Also, you can't really talk someone out of suicide. Reasoning and logic are not solution to feeling inherently terrible with ones self. Go find a doctor asap.

This statement is very immature. It actually takes great courage to end your life. The most valuable possession you have is your life, a person has to really be pushed to the brink to end their life. You don't understand how much emotional pain, and physical pain it takes to drive someone to actually do it. Cowardice is actually a defense mechanism against suicide. Unless you can create a painless exit, a coward can't commit suicide.

@Carl-Richard According to the book "Internal Family Systems Therapy" by R. C. Schwarz and M. Sweezy (https://www.amazon.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Second/dp/B0D6NHXN29), there's an entire section about how to do IFS with external (physical) families. According to the book, doing IFS with external families can facilitate doing IFS, since, "burdens" and "manager/firefighter" parts are usually internalised from external (physical) families and doing IFS with families can facilitate letting go of the "burdens" and dysfunctional roles of parts that want to commit suicide, because the parts are more easily going to let go of dysfunctional roles since the therapist shows the parts that there's no more danger (if there is none) to participate in dysfunctional roles.