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It’s because it’s hard finding the right girl. So this will be the case for most girls. Or humans in general. It’s very rare but I believe it’s possible to find a woman who also seeks “truth” similarly to you who you’d resonate with You can also think about how you prioritize in your life. As long as you have an ego your interactions with others will be on the ego/dream level. This you have to be honest with yourself about. So most of the time you’re living in the dream like everybody else. But you prioritize truth, and maybe that’s your highest priority, but you could also if you find it important, to make space for egoic desires. Like sex and relationships. And allow those to be on dream level so you don’t expect your partner to align with your truth seeking. It’s a matter of how you prioritize it in your life, a relationship won’t give you permanent bliss, nothing on the worldly level will, but you can still value the short term and more long term (yet still not permanent) happiness it can give. And since it’s on the dream level for you , you accept that your partner is operating on dream level. Then if you one day find the truth and things like relationships are no longer on dream level for you, that is something that has to happen within you, and once it happens nobody outside yourself can pull you back into the dream, so maybe it won’t matter if partner is in the dream because it won’t affect you

There's a sort of a spirit of evil and malevolence that exist in the world, which is hard to explain other than being metaphysically evil. It's difficult to articulate it to someone who hasn't experienced it, but imagine yourself being tortured by someone, then you will understand that evil exists. I think some humans are metaphysically evil. I would say that evil is the state of consciousness in which a person experience pleasure and happiness, drive and motivation, even bliss and thoughtful malevolent planning towards the suffering of others. This spirit or state of consciousness inhabit a lot of people in the world these people are what we may call evil. And the good people are those possessed by the spirit of good which is the opposite of the evil state of consciousness.

Sounds to me like you’re spiritually bypassing and coping with not being able to find high quality partners to be able to build a conscious relationship on your terms. If you wanna go full Ekhart Tolle and bliss out on a park bench for years then more power to you but the whole point of reality is to experience duality otherwise you’d just be a floating mind thinking up random images that’s basically what the godhead is. Base humanity and the social matrix is truth just an evolving one.

When I witnessed the above dialogue regarding running, it really made me aware of how much pleasure I take in discipline toward a goal. The meaning erases all the negatives of running. But then again, how could one ignore the pure bliss of cool, crisp air hitting your lungs? The joy of movement and energy coursing through your body? The feeling of sweat gently evaporating to cool you down? The adrenaline of the final push to conclude the run? Getting home, jumping in the shower & sitting down to a hot meal, feeling calm but energised. Ready for some focussed work.

Good questions. Yeah that woud be a good test, however you dont know how to measure that. It doesnt have to be that the moment you kill the wolf all the other wolfs pause and cry for an hour. Maybe it would be more subtle. Maybe the wolfes get a bit of cosmic bliss from the other wolf who merged with infinity, who knows. Or maybe thats not even how morphic fields work. Maybe a member of the group needs to be alive to send information to the morphic field. But then it would make sense that the others would notice a lack of send information. Biep ... , Biep ... , Biep ... , ......... WHAT!? I remember a situation that my dad told me about. His mother or grandma had a son in war and at one night she suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and was sure that right in this moment something terrible happened to her son. And indeed he died that day. I think if we would be more open to it we would find this verified more often. I would assume they took into account the speed in which birds and fish experience reality in. They somehow managed to measure it in insects so they probably also know frames in which birds and fish experience reality in and if it is possible to create this sort of movement with this perception. I dont know for sure though.

Blisstalgia You feel nostalgic for your post-enlightenment level of consciousness. There is a sense of nostalgia for your experiences at the level of consciousness you reached after enlightenment. You felt silence, bliss, completion.

1- I don't throw the word Truth around as such, but I am also not sure what you mean here. 2- I didn't say they were. But yes, the menu is not the meal. 3- I agree that beliefs are assumptions, perhaps questioned to some extent, perhaps not. They are usually about cause and effect, which is why I asked the original question. 4- This last question is more to the point I was attempting to get to originally. To be clear, I only use capital 'T' Truth with respect to existential questions that at least somewhat involve a search for God/Allah/Source/Awareness, so in a way I am mostly agreeing with you here. But, what I mention in my other post to @Jodistrict is that yes, perhaps there's likely a belief in mind present to even begin the search for the believed outcome, but what is Realized is incomprehensible by the mind, so much so that it defies the consensual trance cause-and-effect paradigm. As the mind struggles to come to terms with it (and often think it has 'lost' it once the bliss bunny stuff has played out), it continues to burn through previously held notions of 'reality', whatever those were. But it's not really until after the Realization that the whole burning up of beliefs is understood for what it is. As such, even the principles of cause and effect reasoning are relegated to worldly events, not transcendental ones... especially Truth/Self Realization. That is a whole other dealio.

@Nilsi What an elaborate way of saying: "I want to chase my own tail forever while being attached and in bondage" lol. This is what Leo was saying that most western philosophers are bullshiters. They don't know what transcendence is -- what Truth is. So they end up pedestalizing desire and bondage to appearance. Just by the fact that Yogis, monks, and lamas exist should ring some bells in your head that exist a possibility that desire is not the be all end all path and that Nirvana is true. Your view here could be true from a very advanced and realized perspective. Like the concept of Mahayana Buddhism, where one is awakened and becomes a Bodhisattva but doesn't just stay in bliss(being), he acts in the world so that other beings may as well reach liberation, all this knowing that reality is an allucination and he is talking to himself and helping himself. But the Bodhisattva attitude is a very different one from desire. The acts of a Bodhisattva its just a bonus, he is not attached to his acts -- he is not desiring. He does what he does as service to others, he does because he is selfless. And if he ends up dying and being tortured in the midst of his journey, he is equally in bliss and happy. There's no difference in anything to him. Your whole essay could be true if you reach the tenth stage in the ten ox herding pictures, where you return to society in a Leela state -- forever orgarsming, whether you are doing something, alive or dead, or just being is irrelevant. But then this wouldn't be desire, this is transcendence of everything while still existing as something. This is VERY VERY FAR for what 99% of humans are experiencing. So I would say your view here is very dangerous to most people.

Let me get straight to the point: if I came from the white light before being born—pure awareness, joy, unconditional love—then why the fuck would I need to learn how to be loving through the most agonizing human suffering imaginable? What kind of spirit guide says, “Hey, this infinite being of light and bliss? Let’s send him down into a life of trauma, poverty, loneliness, addiction, abuse, social rejection, suicidal thoughts, and total existential confusion. That way he can learn how to love.” Learn what? I was the fucking love. I was the light. I already knew. But nah, now I’m here. A fucking virgin. Isolated. Barely scraping by. Witness to my father’s death, robbed of $30,000 by my own family’s dysfunction, watching my ex-best friend descend into schizophrenia. I’ve been abused in just about every place I’ve lived. Worked myself to the bone in low-wage jobs while the world around me bathes in hookup culture, junk consumerism, and spiritual bypassing. Why the fuck would any “higher self” or “angelic council” choose this shit? Like seriously, what the fuck are they smoking in the white light realm? It’s always the same explanation: “You chose this life for your spiritual growth.” Oh really? Why? Why would infinite intelligence and infinite love need to incarnate into a butcher and then a pig just to “learn” compassion? If you're really that divine, why not just stop butchering altogether? You're telling me God—who’s been around for eternity—needs to go through schizophrenia, drug addiction, suicide ideation, childhood abuse, starvation, betrayal, heartbreak, and dying alone to “grow” a little more in love? That’s some sick joke. If I’m God, I should be able to wake the fuck up right now. Not when I’m 45. Not after I die. Not after another round of karmic cycles. Right. Fucking. Now. And if there really are spirit guides or angels or entities coercing me into another life because “I haven’t learned enough,” then fuck that. I should have the power to bitch slap them out of the way, rewrite the rules, and create something worth living. Not just another round of some poetic but ultimately pointless agony-for-growth bullshit. This isn’t enlightenment. This is spiritual gaslighting.

To a large extent it has to do with the culture that emphasizes chastity or brahmacharya. Indian martial arts, yoga and spiritual practices , eastern medical systems, put a lot of emphasis on brahmacharya, and consequently women who bare a lot are frowned upon. The eastern perspective is that sexual energy , if properly channeled to higher states releases auspicious energies. In earlier times of extreme prosperity centuries back in India, there was a focus on left-handed tantra which saw sex as a tool for spiritual growth and inner bliss with the proper tantric methods. This is why you can see some ancient temples in India with sculptures of sexual positions and naked people. It was not mindless hedonism and sexual activity, because the unregulated sexual discharge reduces significantly the prana/chi in the system, resulting in misery and irritability later on .

this will be an intuitive writing of recent discoveries / experiences of mine. the last years ive been extremely dragged towards eating food. an extreme craving for food. that being said, i eat only 3 times per day very conssitently, and i maintain an extremely healthy diet, consisting mainly of fruits and vegetables. yet the 3 meals are the highlight of my day. however when i eat my breakfirst, i only have lunch in mind. when i eat lunch, i have dinner in mind. its an eternal circle of craving, and i eat like an animal when im finally at it, filling myself without any break. recently ive felt the intuition to slow down and eat more mindfully. I take a piece of food, chew it, swallow, and wait for however long it takes for my body to require more. i feel mindfully into the sensations and urges in my body. i might wait everything between 15 seconds to 2 minutes between every bite. what i've discovered is that what im craving when im stuffing myself with food, is not the actual food, nor the physical sensations and pleasure that comes from eating it. observing myself, my reactions and the food mindfully, i experience what i can only describe as an existential, profound non physical bliss it is bliss that compells me to eat it. it is bliss that i require, not the taste or anything else. Experiencing the bliss right beneath the physical sensations, the food in my mouth becomes trivial and insignifcant, yet its become more rich and beautiful than any piece of food i've ever had. This bliss is not exclusive to the food. It is not exclusive to anything. it is right below everything. its in music. its in my computer. its in my eyes. my ears. my body. and yet it is not confined to it. It is unlike anything ive ever experienced. it cannot be confined. it cannot be located. it is absolutley unbounded, omnipresent, yet nowhere at all. and yet it is absolutley there, and its always been there. a constant. It is distinctly different from physical bliss sensations,since I experience those in my body simultaneously through eating the food. Physical bliss is arising and passing, fluctuating, non constant. This non physical bliss is non fluctuating, constant, non arising and non passing. it is however uncovered and once again covered by a shroud of physicality only, it is clouded by a physical shroud of what the mind thinks it requires. Is this brahman? God? I can only feel that this is a glipmse of the divine. just right beneath everything, there exists unbounded, unconditional bliss. and it is absolutley all-pervasive. alan watts comes to mind: "there is a universe, for the simple reason that it is ecstatic"

Totally agree. I wish more women understood and embodied this. Honestly spiritual growth and development shouldn’t be this constant discomfort and shedding of resistance. Why can’t it be a path of bliss while staying within your natural authentic boundaries? There seems to be this idea in the New Age that struggling = growth and if you’re not sacrificing you’re not doing enough. It’s quite sadistic, maybe it’s collective guilt from the myth of Jesus, that spirituality equals immense suffering and sacrifice. Why not just be disciplined in a relaxed way and do what you need to while enjoying the beauty of Gods Art?

@Rezo gelenidze Don't commit suicide by killing your body. Commit suicide by killing your ego. Life will continue without an ego. Thoughts like "I want to be special", "I am not good enough" will vanish. Because the "I" that wants those things will vanish. Remove your ego and live a live in peace, bliss, calmness, regardless of your circumstances.

It has been quite a while since I've posted here, but I think this is worth sharing. About 8 years ago, I had a very profound enlightenment experience. I posted about that here: In short, I had a very clear and direct experience of the true Self. From that moment on, I could see the Self clearly. For months, I lived in a state of bliss. I concluded that the search was over and simply carried on with life. But eventually, the ego returned and began to take hold of me again. I never "forgot" the true Self, it’s not something you can truly forget, but over time, the ego slowly regained significance. I found myself in a strange place: on one hand, knowing deep down that nothing was truly real, and on the other hand, being heavily invested in the world, in my business, my family, and everyday life. Old patterns resurfaced. Addictions returned. Depression crept back in. Mood swings, distractions, a sense of being lost. Sometimes I would meditate or watch a video from a spiritual teacher, but I didn’t have a clear vision or direction anymore. I also struggled with my business. Before starting it, I had a clear goal in mind, nothing huge, and I reached it around 2019 or 2020. After that, I had no new direction, no motivation. I kept doing what was required, but I was often just distracting myself, gaming during work hours and avoiding deeper engagement. In 2018, I attended a 5-day retreat with Mooji, which was a profound experience. During those days, I returned to that blissful state. But once I came back to "normal" life, the ego quickly returned and took over again. Then, last year, something changed. I discovered a new teacher here in my own country: Hans Laurentius. A very down-to-earth man, but clearly someone who knows what he’s talking about. At one point, he said something like, “You need to live there.” And it hit me: I had known the Self, but I had never actually made a consistent effort to stay there. Others had said the same: Mooji often says, “Marinate in it.” Ramana Maharshi said, “Stay with it.” I had made half-hearted attempts before, but I never stuck with it. Until now. About two weeks ago, I began going deeper. And it worked. Every time I felt suffering, I could quickly identify the source: a mind-made construct. The one who was suffering was just a concept. The “me” character is only a thought, deeply rooted, yes, but still just a thought. I had to dig it out. And when I did, bliss. No more "me." No more ego. Just being. Just being, like I experienced eight years ago. Like during the retreat. And really, it never left. It’s always been here. Now, then, when I was a child, even in sleep, always. Without the noise of the mind, everything feels so natural. Desire is gone. Work? I let it flow. Whatever comes, comes. There’s no more “I want to achieve this,” because there is no “I” to chase anything anymore. So now, I stay here, with the Self. I don’t see the ego returning anytime soon. But who knows? Still, I don't think it even wants to. When I was identified with the ego, I sometimes had thoughts of wanting to die. And in a way, I did. But the "I" that died was only the ego.

If I'm the only dreamer then how do I wake up from this dream and what happens to me when I die is it madness, limbo, bliss, divine schizophrenia or super self awareness manyfold spiritually but without human distracts to escape myself

I do comprehend all of that. But knowing what God is, does not answer the question. I feel I have a different integration of the term Love. Which means I will only ever answer the question in a different way... For myself solipsism can never be the conclusion, as at the heart of my integrated love is sacrifice, surrender. And the knowledge that others are so real... to touch another, to see them for exactly who they are. Accept. Taste them, fall asleep arm in arm, heartbeats as one. Breath, as one. Caring for another, wanting nothing else in return. Such things cannot be born from a conclusion like solipsism. The fragments of one individuated consciousness meeting another. The pure bliss of it, removed of the fanciful romantic definitions of love. In that moment there is no time. You swim with another consciousness in pure earnest authenticity. Close your eyes and senses and there is no more material reality. Just two points of light vibrating. None of this can be reduced to a single experience being projected. This is WHY God allowed fragmentation, for this real experience. This experience is outside sensation, as sensation cannot even begin to describe it. This for me, is not simply a reduction to human love. Romantic love. It is the connection to another consciousness that once experienced destroys any options of solipsism being true. It is outside of reality, and yet, channeled into it via the sacred body. I think you will reduce the above to woo or new age turds. And sure, you are free to - in which case we agree to disagree. But this is exactly why the conclusion of Solipsism is false - because Love.

The excuse for ignorance is that it is preferable to growing intelligence and awareness. Both of which lead to greater understanding of the reality and world we live in. This understanding then creates suffering, anxiety and angst in the one that grows to understand. The avoidance of those feelings is why ignorance is so prevalent. Anything to be had that sits behind things like suffering and boredom will be avoided by most people. "Ignorance is bliss". You have to change when you know better and change means death to a part of you. Examples include: using less AI when you find out how much water is used to cool it, not eating meat when you see the conditions under which the animal is raised etc.

At 6PM I drank a small class of psilocybin mushrooms mixed with coca, put on an eye mask, laid back and waited for the effects to begin. Prior to this experience I had experienced several affirmations from the cosmos that this experience was in fact ordained. The first was a surprisingly wise quote from a my best friend who isn't known for saying wise things, the second was the approval from my teacher which came by way of not disapproving of my journey, and finally the day of. I blew a small amount of hape' up my nose in the morning and asked it to help get me ready for the mushroom experience. At that time I was highly anxious and considering backing out of the event all together. The hape' did just that. It caused me to cry which released a lot of stored mucus and allowed for the energy to pass through me. By the time I was finished with the experience, I was no longer afraid to take the mushrooms. These three events served as affirmations that this experience was in fact an ordained or approved experience from the Universe. An hour before, the shaman entered and asked us to pick a spirit card. My spirit card as 'where heaven meets earth'. When I read the book that came along with the cards to express its meaning it stated (something along the lines of)- You got this, the universe has got you, what is destiny will occur. Step forward with no fear. So I lay there on my mat, waiting for the experience to come on as nature sounds eminated from a small speaker in the living room. The shaman walked around reminding us to breathe and to surrender. For the next series of events, I want to use a timeline as it'll help me better explain the different events that took place. This timeline is essentially arbitrary as throughout the duration of this experience, I had no concept of time. Nevertheless, 20 minutes in- I notice a shift in my perception. Normally my consciousness feels as though it is contained in some close proximity to the body. Suddenly, my consciousness extended throughout the room. No longer did I feel as though I were an entity in my head, I felt as though I was something within which a perceptual visual/ audio/ feeling sense-field appeared. 45 minutes to an hour in- The music changed from nature sounds to shamanic music. Beating of the drum, belting of the voice, strings, flutes and other naturalistic sounds played on the speaker. The sounds filled the room and took over my attention. I let the songs take me wherever they wanted to go and enjoyed the arrangement of the music. Each song took me on a journey in my mind. 1-2 hours in- At some point in time I got lost in the music and forgot about myself entirely. I entered trances within which I don't know what occurred. The feeling was primitive and animalistic. My body felt as though it was some sort of infant animal in a nest. My mind simplified. There were no thoughts in the traditional sense. Instead there were vast visions, dreamlike and ethereal. The gap between waking consciousness and sleep was exaggerated. I found myself in an 'in-between' state. You know how when you sleep there seems to be a gap in time between the moment you fell asleep and the moment you wake up? I was in a state where I could see a vivid universe unfolding in front of me like a dream but I could also see that empty place where nothing ever happens simultaneously. I was somewhere in between and beyond it all. It was here that my energy was liberated from all identity. I forgot who I was, where I came from, what was going on. Nothing mattered anymore. 3+ hours in- I was beyond existence and non-existence, yet somehow beings from throughout the universe called on me for help with suffering. I manifested myself into form and liberated them from suffering. One time, I became a cosmic Hindu dancer. My fingers and arms swirled around as a feminine energy filled me up and my movements healed countless beings. Once my work was done, my dance was over, I would then return to the state of being Beyond existence and non-existence. My Natural State. I recall waking up on the mat and remembering that I am a man and yet within myself I felt as though I was a women. Immediately following the remembrance, I transcended male and female, masculine and feminine and saw that choosing to be either of those is optional. I chose to be neither and rested in bliss. 4+ hours in- I began to come back into identification my body more and more as the medicine wore off. I began to remember my history, my family members, my girlfriend etc. Everything I remembered about myself felt painful. Rather than ignoring the pain, I just let it be and it went away on its own. I felt like a brand new being just born into life. The come down was an interesting experience because I watched all the parts of my mind come back online, one at a time. The ability to discern, the ability to differentiate, the feeling of the need to understand, to sum it all up, to know, etc. My history, my body, my sense of self all slowly came back online as the night came to a close. Realizations- 1) Part of what it means to be human is to be in a state of suffering. There is a seriousness to human consciousness that takes over and colors the experience of being. By seriousness, I mean, there is a kind of fear of lawlessness that racks the mind of the human being. A fear that at any moment, something terrible may occur. I found myself fearing that the physical reality I inhabited was so far removed from spirit that I couldn't trust others. This I call being born into the animal kingdom. 2) As I came down more, I entered a state of autism. I was deeply connected to the spirit in this state. So much so that communication, moving around in the world, completing tasks, etc. were difficult to accomplish. I felt at peace, gentle and wise. Yet if I were to be examined by a 'normal' person without the context of the psychedelic experience in mind, they may think me stupid and in need of medical attention. 3) Later, more complex parts of my mind came back online and speech was easier. A type of adulthood or maturity came online. No longer did I feel connected to spirit, I felt rather disconnected and rational. All I had left of that deep place within myself was memories. If a normal person were to view me here, they would say I was normal. 4) As the mind assimilated and I fell from grace into form. Layers of mind hardened as I fell until mind appeared as an external world. From there, mind fell further and I entered the animal kingdom, from there a state of autism and beyond that what we call sanity. Mind is currently falling deeper and deeper. This falling we call cognitive development. Modern science and healthcare see's cognitive development as a benefit but it isn't. It is a fall from grace. 5) Therapy to me seems kind of silly and pointless. The idea that you could talk someone into healing makes no sense and is probably non-sense. The idea that healing can occur at all beyond the bounds of shamanic ceremony and in the midst of unity seems preposterous. 6) The idea that there is some kind of spiritual work that needs to be done is preposterous to me. Any spiritual work that could be done is done on the perceived self. What I am is imperceivable. It is merely a matter of identification. Spiritual work is valuable but is not required. What I am is already whole and complete and is need of nothing. I have no mind, I have no self, I have no form. What work is there to do? 7) I listened to a record I was working on and I didn't like it. I saw my videos on YouTube and realized that the only reason I make those video is because I'm lonely in my life. 8) Going to college and becoming a therapist isn't my goal so much anymore. I think the path of a shaman may be closer to what I want to do if I want to heal others. 9) Psilocybin didn't help me heal in the way that it gave me life advice or some kind of relationship advice. Instead it allowed me to relive the infant stage of my life and to experience healthy parenting. As I lay in the bed, an infant, the experience reassured me, comforted me and loved me. This was healing. Another way it was healing was getting in touch with my true Self. Just being the true Self and getting to stay like that for a while is healing. My girl said that I avoided the 'work' and I disagree. The work isn't always crying and rolling around in misery. Sometimes the work is getting a chance to heal via positive experience rather than purging the negative.

Someone said that there is Kundalini and Kundalina, i myself skip this concept of kundalini. I rather talk in terms of the dragon or reptilian parts of the body. In my experience, in the first stage of awakening the reptilian parts, was something too much mind focussed. Later on in experience, is something like a naturality, regaining the naturality. Hallucinating to mind in the mind spectrum and kundalini concepts, only brings brief bliss and after months and years vanishes. So in conclusion, don't look for the spectacular. There is nothing spectacular in regaining your full faculties or potential, in reality is the other way around, you will feel strage aroung people and even animals. They say animals live their potential, maybe, but this world if full of dormant people who hate you without knowing they doing that. So, is complex. The awakening is something foreign to society. Loving outside the self bring more sleep. In reality the dogma about love should be focussed only on the self, there is no love outside, is anti natural to love outside of yourself. Outside you can call it acceptance, empathy or sympathy when it comes to other people. And one last thing, you don't have to love your enemies, as i said, loving others is just a social construct that leads to sleep and ultimately death.

I think she was just noting (perhaps based on her own memory) what the mind often does 'after' such events. Unconsciously, and as a sort of momentum of 'reasoning', the mind takes over. The appearance/construct of the 'I' held in mind takes credit for finding and/or being absolute truth; whereas, such appearances of I/ideas/experiences/memory/stuff only exist within/as the Absolute (which was glimpsed). Was there a 'you' or a 'god' there, or is that just the story, a mental overlay that the mind has conjured based on an assumptive 'I' and memories of an event of spaciousness/bliss? Was anything 'learned', or was there just a 'Being conscious as Consciousness'/ ABSOLUTE NOTHING type of dealio? Perhaps, we could tinker with your avatar name and say 'the Atman is within Brahman'. We're tinkering here in a way that won't 'add layers' of explanation and rev up the mind too too much (it can be a lil dominating stinkshit at such times- based on memory). But, perhaps the attempt here is to 'preserve' or bring in to focus some of the clarity that was realized so it can inform the mind of the Space within which it appears. The human mind is a tool, not the master. The distinction is clear. As per Plato's Cave allegory, 'you' had a glimpse outside the cave, and canNOT for your life NOT bestow value on the experience, but it somehow alludes you as to how or why it happened. And typically, the mind wants answers. The mind might start reeling a bit in an attempt to bring it into the confines of its reason of cause/effect, 'me' centeredness, and all the rest. Just relax a bit, settle into that spaciousness that you gnossis/realized is immediately present/available, and let it inform mind of its secondary role. The mind is the source of all follies of pursuit, from HERE/NOW... blank TV screens and all. There is not 'more and more consciousness' to pursue. No thing has been lost, physically, experientially or otherwise. There is nothing to say, but there is always more to say. There are no more levels to conjure, no more infinities to imagine.... Just THIS, appearances of thoughts/things popping up and disappearing in/as what I AM. FREE

After following actualized.org for a couple years and diving into spirituality and existential contemplation, I might have had my first awakenings or mystical experiences. I’m curious if people on this forum can relate to this. I’m not sure if I should call them proper awakenings or glimpses of awakening, but I had these experiences on two separate occasions. I’ll explain the longer lasting one here. I was contemplating absolute truth after watching an actualized clip (I was completely sober and have never done psychedelics). I had heard about it countless times from Leo’s videos but didn’t really get it- I understood it intellectually but only on that level. As it turns out, there are deeper levels of understanding Leo’s videos- who would’ve thought? Basically, what happened was that I grasped what absolute truth is all at once and it was abundantly clear. I realized that I am in absolute truth already. I stared at a blank tv for about 30 minutes realizing that this is absolute truth. This was accompanied by a feeling of bliss and a sense that nothing could go wrong anymore with this realization, and this lasted for a couple hours. The thing is, these experiences went away, returning me to baseline consciousness. I’ve heard Leo mention being able to focus on absolute truth in his direct experience, but when I try that I can’t quite get there. I seem to generate some fantasy of absolute truth that is almost there but actually just an illusion of understanding when I inspect it. So the question is what to make of these experiences? Are they glimpses of awakening, actual awakening, a weird state of consciousness, or a self-deception? I’m aware that asking if an awakening is valid is ridiculous, but that’s what I’m asking 😄 This is the video I was watching, in case anyone wants to try their own Leo-fueled awakening. I found it to be very powerful.

Most people are aware that their negative thinking causes distortion in their relationships. But what most people are not aware of, is that positive thinking also causes distortion...but it causes distortion in how we perceive reality itself. Women are using men to enhance their self image. Men are using women to enhance their self image. This is just normal relating. But within doing this, we create a foundation of "We are separate". To hold unto or create a "positive self image" is still a mindset of separation, even though it feels really good and blissful. The "positive self image" grasps and clings and attaches to gain something. It wants to become or be something. There are 2 kinds of Unity. There is the Unity of the shared happy dream. (which is what I think most people want). This is where the Man and the Woman hold positive self concepts for either themselves or each other. In this state, they are often gracious and loving towards each other's shadow and trauma states. But on a mental level, they see distinct self images ..... self concepts.... often positive about each other....and they believe these are real. They think the positive stories and self concepts are actually real. This state of Unity feels like an oxytocin soup of bliss. haha It feels like heaven. But then there is also a deeper Unity where [both] positive and negative self concepts collapse. This is where a lot of the mental differences between Men and Women shatter completely. Romantic Love, as a mental concept, shatters here. Relationships, as a mental concept, shatter here. Marriage, Kids, Sex, etc. might still happen but the mind isn't attaching to an image of self. The barrier and block to reaching this state is usually clinging to "positive self concepts" or specialness. This is not a highly desired state but it's still a state of Unity. It can be argued to be a deeper Unity state because you both collapse into nothing. The actual truth is that Unity, on the level of mind, is already the case. There is nothing to join....because nothing was divided to begin with. The title "Why unity between man and woman will never be possible" implies that division took place. It is implying Unity isn't already here. But division never happened to begin with. There is nothing to connect or join or unify or bring together......because nothing was separated to begin with. On the level of the body, yes, men and women are divided physically. (though certain people debate this as well) But division does not exist on the level of the mind. [There is nothing to unify, because nothing was divided to begin with] is only seen clearly in the 2nd form of Unity. The 1st form of Unity, where you are blissfully Unified with a lover/spouse....but still clinging to self concepts of either a positive or negative variety, won't reveal this.

Ignorance is bliss, that's why. You're ignorant too, to some degree; look at your punctuation.

@Breakingthewall so you could say that God is a mystery to itself forever and ever it will never know it's just pure mystery and in that mystery is Bliss

@freddyteisen I personally recommending stating with low dose phenethylamines. Getting comforting the epic transcendental space and gradually moved up. Long term this is better it provides you with a solid base to slowly build upon. If you jump dick first into a 5meo breakthrough it might snap your mind. Also look into combos, you can combine diazepam with 5meo to reduce fear. If your doing any tripping for 6-12 hour periods you can also look at getting some trip killers (olanzapine 🔥🔥). Some people in Martin balls book (facilitators) also used mdma + 5meo and said they seen "a lot" of this combo we think hundreds. There is more risk with serotonin syndrome with MD+5meo combo but it's yellow warning as opposed to orange or red. so from reports it's very roughly around a 0.2857% chance of getting serotonin syndrome and after you do get it, it's about a 0.13699% chance of death lol. The only reason I'd suggest something that has even a 0.00001% chance of death is cuz I personally tried nnDMT+mdma and it was the single most beautiful experience of my entire life. Mdma has this incredible effect on the removal of fear. No fear virtually. Quite amazing. But you'd need to do lots and lots of careful research before doing the 5meo+mdma combo. But there are reports of 5meo causing serotonin syndrome on its own. You have to appreciate the gravity of what your doing when you move towards the 5meo space. This all sounds very negative but trust me, if you can get it right...heaven. This is what I seen on my breakthrough (kinda) but the bliss...holy shit...: