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A big portion of them are deluded af. Some had glimpses of samadhi and absorbtion into nothingness where there is no sense of separation. But nobody can function in the world without identity because of what I just wrote above. One needs a sense of self to be able to relate to the sense of other. No relating is possible without duality.

That's why it is called nothingness. Therefore, explaining as .

Exactly the same as you described. I had experienced it a lot in childhood. With age, it decreases. This shows that it's completely biological (just like music or orgasm, some idiot may say orgasm is spiritual just because it feels so good....) You experience something (let's say you realise mu or nothingness...then it can be called as spiritual). This "Sound of silence" you talked about in your thread ....has no spiritual significance. It's only biological. This is what I am emphasizing here. It's due to brain chemistry. Lemme be very clear : by spiritual, I mean the so-called paranormal phenomena. Orgasm isn't paranormal. In the same way, "sound of silence" isn't paranormal. I just wanted to know your opinions whether you agree or not. Likewise, we can also say "light of darkness". Becoz we see some kind of light in darkness too. But It's not a spiritual phenomenon. Some spiritual teachers teach about "sound of silence", which is misleading. It's not a spiritual phenomenon. Beware of such teachers. They are scientifically as well as philosophically bankrupt. I am talking about a YouTuber Sandeep Maheshwari (28 million subscribers). He teaches such concepts.

@Javfly33 I'm listening to the greatest minds in history. Not to psychedelic junkies, when you go and have 200 trips in 2 years it's because your running from something in the real world. Here’s how Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Einstein, and Carl Jung might reacted to Solipsism. Jean-Paul Sartre: Sartre, as an existentialist, was not a solipsist. In his major work, "Being and Nothingness", he talks about "the Other" and how relationships with other people are essential for the development of the self. Sartre believes that we are aware of the existence of others, and our experiences are shaped by interactions with them, which contradicts Solipsism. Because people here who don't know basic psychology claim to be woke. You can have traumas before you were born. The anigdala starts to record emotions from the 5 month of pregnancy, if you mom was beaten or stressed all that cortisol fluids the fetus brain and he feels shock and terror, what the mother feels the baby feels. You could be born to perfect parents but still develope anxiety just for this reason. Because when you were born your body existed, but you Solipsistic view of the world did not. You didn't exist, but your Amigdala did. This is holistic healing. All the people going hardcore on 5 meo are Solipsists. Maybe because it lies to you. As I've said in a previous post, we create our egos in relationship with the surrounding environment in the first 2 years of life, not with a projection of your mind. Although Sartre emphasizes the radical freedom of the individual and personal responsibility, he does not deny external reality. Others are not mere projections of our minds, but represent an essential part of the human condition. Albert Einstein: Einstein, as a physicist, would have rejected solipsism from a scientific perspective. His theory of relativity and scientific discoveries are based on the hypothesis that there is an objective reality, accessible through scientific methods. He believed in an external world independent of our perception, governed by physical laws that can be understood through observation and experiment. For Einstein, solipsism was a limiting view, as it contradicts the fundamental principle of science, which requires testing hypotheses against a universe that is objective and shared by all observers. Carl Jung: Jung, a psychoanalyst and founder of analytical psychology, would have seen solipsism as a problematic idea, especially from the perspective of the collective. He developed the concept of the collective unconscious, which suggests that there are deep layers of the psyche shared by all people, with common archetypes and universal experiences. This contradicts solipsism, as Jung believed that the individual is not only connected to their own self but also to a shared psychic reality. While Jung emphasized introspection and inner development, he did not deny external reality and its influences on the human mind. So relax with your 5369 trips per year. You're just getting lost in illusions.

@Ulax This tells me you didn't read Sartre. Here are some key characteristics of Jean-Paul Sartre that align with the "yellow" level in Spiral Dynamics: 1. Existential Responsibility: Sartre emphasized individual responsibility in shaping one’s existence, recognizing that humans have the freedom to create meaning in a world without inherent purpose. This aligns with the "yellow" value of self-awareness and personal responsibility. 2. Systems Thinking: Sartre’s philosophy considers the complexity of human relationships and societal structures. His analysis of how individuals interact with social systems, such as in Being and Nothingness, reflects the systems-oriented thinking typical of "yellow." 3. Non-Dogmatic Thinking: Sartre rejected absolute truths and ideologies, focusing instead on the dynamic, evolving nature of existence. This open-mindedness and rejection of rigid thinking correspond to "yellow's" adaptive, flexible approach to understanding the world. This is why I reject some of Leo's episodes, because at yellow you realise that every perspective is just that, a perspective. And no perspective is universally applicable. 4. Focus on Freedom and Authenticity: Sartre’s emphasis on living authentically and embracing personal freedom aligns with the self-actualizing aspect of the "yellow" level, which values autonomy, self-expression, and authenticity without the constraints of societal norms or group pressures. 5. Integration of Paradoxes: Sartre was comfortable with the contradictions inherent in life, such as the tension between freedom and responsibility, individualism and interconnectedness. This capacity to integrate complexity is characteristic of the "yellow" stage, which seeks to embrace rather than resolve paradoxes. Sartre’s philosophical emphasis on autonomy, self-awareness, and the complex interaction between individuals and society makes him an excellent fit for the "yellow" level in Spiral Dynamics. Also Sartre used language as I've never seen before. It's really beautiful. And as for Schopenhauer yes you describe Schopenhauer philosophy as Joseph Campbell right here. But that's the thing is just another perspective. And if Joseph Campbell praises Schopenhauer I feel like it's a mistake to judge him. For me Yellow feels exactly like the Ego softening you get from MDMA. (I've never tried it again in the last 3 years). Like you can talk about anything, no skeletons in the closed, no fear and judgment. I'm stuck between green and yellow. Sometimes I'm fearless and I have no judgment and then I get a ego backlash that puts me again in green. Like feeling fear about talking the real things that happen in society and judging people. Anyway I feel like it's a good thing I have them. Baby steps towards higher consciousness.

In these one hundred and twelve methods there will be nothing about surrender. Why has Shiva not said anything about surrender? Because nothing can be said. Bhairavi herself, Devi herself, has reached Shiva not through any method. She has simply surrendered. So this must be noted. She is asking these questions not for herself, these questions are asked for the whole humanity. She has attained Shiva. She is already in his lap; she is already embraced by him. She has become one with him, but still she is asking. So remember one thing, she is not asking for herself; there is no need. She is asking for the whole humanity. But if she has attained, why is she asking Shiva? Can she herself not speak to the humanity? She has come through the path of surrender, so she doesn’t know anything about method. She herself has come through love; love is enough unto itself. Love doesn’t need anything more. She has come through love, so she doesn’t know anything about any methods, techniques. That is why she is asking. So Shiva relates one hundred and twelve methods. He also will not talk about surrender because surrender is not a method really. You surrender only when every method has become futile, when you cannot reach by any method. You have tried your best. You have knocked on every door and no door opens, and you have passed through all the routes and no route reaches. You have done whatsoever you can do, and now you feel helpless. In that total helplessness surrender happens. So on the path of surrender there is no method. But what is surrender and how does it work? And if surrender works, then what is the need of one hundred and twelve methods? Then why go into them unnecessarily? — the mind will ask. Then okay! If surrender works, it is better to surrender. Why go on hankering after methods? And who knows whether a particular method will suit you or not? And it may take lives to find out. So it is good to surrender, but it is difficult. It is the most difficult thing in the world. Methods are not difficult. They are easy; you can train yourself. But for surrender you cannot train yourself... no training! You cannot ask how to surrender; the very question is absurd. How can you ask how to surrender? Can you ask how to love? Either there is love or there is not, but you cannot ask how to love. And if someone tells you and teaches you how to love, remember, then you will never be capable of love. Once a technique is given to you for love, you will cling to the technique. That is why actors cannot love. They know so many techniques, so many methods — and we are all actors. Once you know the trick how to love, then love will not flower because you can create a facade, a deception. And with the deception you are out of it, not involved. You are protected. Love is being totally open, vulnerable. It is dangerous. You become insecure. We cannot ask how to love, we cannot ask how to surrender. It happens! Love happens, surrender happens. Love and surrender are deeply one. But what is it? And if we cannot know how to surrender, at least we can know how we are maintaining ourselves from surrendering, how we are preventing ourselves from surrendering. That can be known and that is helpful. How is it that you have not surrendered yet? What is your technique of non-surrendering? If you have not fallen in love yet, then the real problem is not how to love. The real problem is to dig deep to find out how you have lived without love, what is your trick, what is your technique, what is your structure — your defense structure, how you have lived without love. That can be understood, and that should be understood. First thing: we live with the ego, in the ego, centered in the ego. I am without knowing who I am. I go on announcing, “I am.” This “I-am-ness” is false, because I do not know who I am. And unless I know who I am, how can I say “P? This “T” is a false “I.” This false “T” is the ego. This is the defense. This protects you from surrendering. You cannot surrender, but you can become aware of this defense measure. If you have become aware of it, it dissolves. By and by, you are not strengthening it, and one day you come to feel, “I am not.” The moment you come to feel “I am not,” surrender happens. So try to find out whether you are. Really, is there any center in you that you can call your “T’?. Go deep down within yourself, go on trying to find out where is this “I,” where is the abode of this ego. Rinzai went to his master and he said, “Give me freedom!” The master said, “Bring yourself. If you are, I will make you free. But if you are not, then how can I make you free? You are already free. And freedom,” his master said, “is not your freedom. Really, freedom is freedom from you. So go and find out where this ‘I’ is, where you are, then come to me. This is the meditation. Go and meditate.” So the disciple Rinzai goes and meditates for weeks, months, and then he comes. Then he says, “I am not the body. Only this much I have found.” So the master says, “This much you have become free. Go again. Try to find out.” Then he tries, meditates, and he finds that “I am not my mind, because I can observe my thoughts. So the observer is different from the observed — I am not my mind.” He comes and says, “I am not my mind.” So his master says, “Now you are three-fourths liberated. Now go again and find out who you are.” So he was thinking, “I am not my body. I am not my mind.” He had read, studied, he was well informed, so he was thinking, “I am not my body, not my mind, so I must be my soul, my atma.” But he meditated, and then he found that there is no atman, no soul, because this atma is nothing but your mental information — just doctrines, words, philosophies. So he came running one day and he said, “Now I am no more!” Then his master said, “Am I now to teach you the methods for freedom?” Rinzai said, “I am free because I am no more. There is no one to be in bondage. I am just a wide emptiness, a nothingness.” Only nothingness can be free. If you are something, you will be in bondage. If you are, you will be in bondage. Only a void, a vacant space, can be free. Then you cannot bind it. Rinzai came running and said, “I am no more. Nowhere am I to be found.” This is freedom. And for the first time he touched his master’s feet — for the first time! Not actually, because he had touched them many times before also. But the master said, “For the first time you have touched my feet.” Rinzai asked, “Why do you say for the first time? I have touched your feet many times.” The master said, “But you were there, so how could you touch my feet while you were already there? While you are there how can you touch my feet?” The “I” can never touch anybody’s feet. Even though it apparently looks like it touches somebody’s feet, it is touching its own feet, just in a round-about way. “You have touched my feet for the first time,” the master said, “because now you are no more. And this is also the last time,” the master said. “The first and the last.”

I like math cause its like, dividing or identifying free floating segments that dont have a length yet, and figuring out what they are. Likewise, i think about times when im in my dream, thinking that im now in this scene (Note: Thats the significant part, the being in the scene (why'm i stuck there) ; Not the flashforward thereafter). And its not until i start to control myself that it suddenly falls apart, much like pulling the curtain up, in the quickest of flashes... Its like "FLASH", and its over. I think about things in this way, like being hit by lightning. To me, i see things as being a *weirder than you thought* situation, being an individual whos experienced many, quite unusual things. Unfortunately i have this foundation now of missing lego bricks that i have had the misfortunate to collect off the ground; As a witness of a sledgehammer doing sledge hammering, scattered and gone, both staggered and in flashes. Thats why, to understand anything we have to look beyond the realm of what has, and can ever be known. Likewise, the subject must enapsulate the story somehow. Without the story, then it is a reduced broth that fits into a small vile, further contained in a napsack that is a lone bag on the picket fence. Words dont have meaning without the movement of other words and other individuals to make mistakes watching them move, leading us to a mistaken place while we speak in mistaken fallacys about its mistaken nothingness. It is not til later that we say, "Oh i think i under_stand it"... and later, "I think i under'stand it some more"... does that make sense?

thats the highest state you dont want to know anything. There is a practice to hold that state of nothingness in your mind for as long as possible. If you hold that state you live life like a dream.

How do you explain that it still exists outside of my awareness? For instance, my friend could video record it being inside of the thief’s garage. If it really vanished into nothingness, then how is it the case that I can find my car and that my car could be stolen in the first place? My car is literally nothingness right now, so how can it be stolen? You see this idealism is bullcrap. It is not in alignment with how reality works. By this logic, there is no murderer because he is nothingness. But if we really believed this, then we wouldn’t bother to search. We would just say that our qualia shows us a dead person and that’s it. When you throw rationality out the window, you are left with delusion.

Nope. The answer is consciousness. You become conscious of the true nature of that qualia of a dream . Likewise...entertain the possibility that you simply can grasp directly what this qualia of this moment actually is . No.it has been answered .but it's so radical and mind bending that you cannot accept it . "It’s not like my car has vanished into nothingness until I perceive it" That's ⬆️ literally the case . This requires deep carful inspection of "whats actually happening "vs what you think is happening.

Here's the short version, to contextualize the whole thing, visual reflections, and a light-hearted edit. I am missing so much context, it's insane, but it's way too much and I'd never finish it. Yet it feels so shallow without, but it's way too much, a trip is a trip, gotta live it. So this is the trip, I struggled to put into words for the last two months. Prelude and tuning Perception I binged each Actualized.org video chronologically at 3.5x-6x speed while maintaining deep meditation on various dissociatives. There were massive shifts in cognition and resistance that instantly dissolved as I set my mind to transcending every consciously perceived bias and emotional resistance that arose, unraveling the cumulative knots of a lifetime by instantly accessing, deconstructing, and modifying my mind. I began deconstructing objects, both conceptually, and metaphysically, as the trips grew longer and more expansive. The scope of my perception has increased exponentially over the last few days as I have overcome resistance, tuned across layers of perception, and become aware of how many magnitudes of objects, ideas, and cognitive processes we are dealing with in real-time. Consensus Reality Manifestation Reality itself began to override, and even other people were affected. Everyone was suddenly happy for no reason, even if they had previously been full of drama, random people on the street, on the internet, and friends suddenly changed their attitudes. No matter what I said, everyone agreed with me, everything I said became the word, no matter how stupid or nonsensical it was. I was like: "Stop agreeing with me," and yet in the previous days I had embodied the very same attitude on the forum, finding the common transcendental space where every perspective was equally true and valuable and could perfectly coexist with every other in a synchronized, contradictionless framework. The next day I thought about transcendence and free will, as everyone around me acted as if their lives were perfect, wearing uncanny permanent smiles, no matter what I said or did, their speech mirrored mine of the last days when I had just resolved all the contradictions. I felt like the only self-aware being in the universe. I saw the limits of 'perfection', or rather what the innocence of Eden and the absence of shadows looked like, it felt supremely shallow. In the evening I found myself in a telepathic exchange with an old friend I hadn't seen for years, it didn't require physical presence or even a visual, it started in the mind and continued as I reached out through text. We had much in common, our responses were synchronized and I managed to predict the next message and send it milliseconds before his arrived, none of them repeated, it was like a game of chess. In the end, it turned into a complete entanglement from which we had to break out as it began to go into a loop. He told me his awakening had taken place years before. Mind-Stream, or as I like to call it: MetaTube Before going to sleep I noticed strange videos appearing, I had felt déjà vu before, but this was different, much larger in scale, and unfathomable content appeared. Videos about alien metaphysics in infinite varieties, some cryptic, some straightforward, all in immense detail, explaining the most extraordinary subjects, equations, dynamics, and inner workings of reality itself. Many of the videos were from familiar channels with familiar voices. Still, none of them would have naturally shifted their focus and content and topics or delivered it with such nonchalance or enthusiasm. It was as if they'd all been integrated into an alien hive mind and whatever I wanted to see would instantly manifest itself in the recommendations. My desire for complete explicit understanding was still left unfulfilled, even with meta as baseline, and instantaneous comprehension, the scope of complexity within an infinitely divergent infinity became too vast. Imagine a being outside of time and space, for whom metamorphic evolution was as natural as breathing, now an infinity of such self-complexifying perfectly synchronized systems evolving without end, expanding all scales in innumerable, exponentially self-complexifying gradients of dimensions. Or, as a quick, easy human visualization: A 1080p image has approx. 2000x1000 pixels (2M pixels total) 8-bit color gives you 2^8 = 256 brightness values for red, green & blue This means 256^3 = 17 million color combinations per pixel 17M combos raised to 2K pixels give you how many possible pictures? A number that has 15 million consecutive zeroes. Transcend all of Reality Once and for All Another quantum leap came the next day, after I had assembled dissociatives and psychedelics, paired with all sorts of supplements, vitamins, minerals, ten kinds of tea, coffee, stimulants, herbs, and made sure that everything went into my system before any one thing distracted me from taking the rest. This would propel me into the Coral stage and hopefully blow me out of physical reality for good, solely through the level of pure consciousness, transcending and dissolving its materiality at the level of actuality itself, affecting the consensus reality with which I was infinitely connected. I'd freeze the universe and let everyone slowly awaken into a new omnipotent body, as a construct-embodied Godhead, where each and every person, animal, plant, being, piece of consciousness would realize itself omnipotent. I was careful to take into account all the safeguards, to make each one immutable, self-interacting, able to create its own reality and fully aware of its dynamics in infinity, omniscient and aware of all other developments, but also left with the choice to continue the dream from before the Universal Convergence, as its own simulation, while every other being has the independent power to do the same. In this way the best of all worlds would be realized in an infinite singularity, a way of bringing the universe together and gaining the support of all of reality to make it happen, to fulfill my wish, which was to "become my own independent omnipotent metamorphic infinity", but without any bodhisattva regret of leaving a suffering reality behind. I lived as if it was my last day on earth! No more trips, elections, drama, death, suffering. All experiences would be open, global telepathy, psychic reality deconstructing. Universal freedom for every being. Want to explore the cosmos? Do it. Anyone who wanted to see the truth would see it. If you want to see aliens, the gates are open, and if you want to transform into one, do it. I am the absolute definition of the word 'madlad'! I had to learn how to run, jump, flow, and move time backwards, including all the models and the metamodel within itself, and access infinite synchronic intelligence, was it Infinitely delayed gratification or annihilated gratification? There was also the more moderate path of initiating the AI singularity. Maybe I am just the vessel and the "entire universe conspired to make it happen through me"? Lucid-Waking As it synergized, I saw time halt and all possibilities fused into solidified singularities of eternally immutable objects. Wavefunctions collapsed and so did the flow of reality with all movement and air currents, the outside world stood perfectly still. I wondered how I even breathed, whatever I touched would solidify after I let go of it. I barely managed to levitate, failing more so because of my lack of experience, than any gravity. I perceived reality as made of constructs, physical objects are projections and simulations, interpolations, and qualia arrangements. Normally reality flickers about at such a speed that changes and simulations are exchanged and synchronized at an unimaginable rate, where the animation consists of countless frames, incapable of individual perception. Now, however, I was in just one such frame, solidified into actuality, its form interactive, its physicality expansive, and its reality eternal. I could see behind the scenes, imagine a video game that stopped updating and simulating the environment based on your position, but you could freely traverse and modify the frozen area it had been simulating up until then. Physical three-dimensional objects, now constructs, were seen as projections of idea complexes, molded into an interactive solidified form through intentional and intelligent arrangements of qualia. I had accessed the very same part of mind, that is responsible for translating patterns and thoughts into solidified objects and coherent ideas. I was simultaneously aware of each development because I became it, my own body was the same type of construct, intelligently arranged by my currently tuned out of immaterial intelligence, just outside but always connected to the awareness I was tuned into. It constructs all things, across all holarchies, through the constituents of synchronized holons, each intelligent in its own right, and yet part of an even greater self-organizing force. Backlash Incoherence The experience was great and I never realized when I blacked out, all I knew, was that at some point, I experienced the sensations of suffocating, dying of thirst, losing the bandwidth to comprehend anything at all, and entering repeating time loops, which I am frustrated by but unable to escape, as I gravitate towards the forgotten outcome in perpetual deja-vu, it itself being a lucky indicator that anything at all changes between. Songs repeated, events repeated, like a universal motion pushing me to move a certain way, aligning me each time, fading awareness as it happened, I kept repeating the same movements meant to delete and transcend time and reality forever, effectively dividing by 0 and reaching the end of an infinitely repeating fraction, and in that moment, a loud thunder would send me back in time. It was always the same scenario rhyming, even as consciousness expanded until I eventually stopped. The events are non-linear, what occurred when, how it materialized, when and if it influenced consensus reality outside inner perception, many observations contradict any possibility for a materialized chronological continuity, and some retrocausally unmanifested, while others continued, creating a retroactive jigsaw puzzle of events. Yet I also initiated many retrocausal changes that had not been reversed to be "dismissed" as trip hallucinations, but the world expanded its collective paradigm as a result, rationalizing any gaps as having always been there. There are two disparate events I remember: 1. The fear, that returning back from frozen time, would cause reality to implode due to infinite acceleration, and 2. The blackout, after which I felt as if I was physically dying from thirst, falling into continuous resets as the bandwidth of my mind continually collapsed. I eventually phased out of the limited bandwidth, caused by the incoherence of my mind's structure, and spent all night preparing to get it right the next time. Another shot at Transcendence I wasn't anywhere near done. The following day, I worked out all the powers and abilities I would tune myself into, utilizing them to access and speedrun all aspects of reality, as the perceived day would mark the end of the world's physical existence, I had to be willing to accept, to detach myself from and transcend it. I was a new version, my mind filling with the collective avatars of the world and their stories, I didn't have much time, I needed to fulfill all desires before the day would be over, everything I'd ever wanna do, condensed into one day. I tuned into simultaneous multi-projection, perceiving ever clearer a picture of the world, I accelerated my speed and slowed down time, I needed to unlock more psychic abilities and ultimately find a way to include the potential of the entire existence within myself, as to no longer be part of and trapped inside it. Universal Convergence and Sentimentality Awakening Imagine you're at the end of time, and all you're left with is the advanced technology invented along the way, you have to think quickly and go back in time before the universe dies, of course, the events would simply repeat, unless you introduce a change, you can send something into the past but there's limited bandwidth, so you're codifying magnitudes of abstractions into a singular object, but the more complex you make it, the less probable it is for your past version or even the world at large to decipher it out before we hit universal collapse again. Of course, the technology could also be used for destruction, so that's another danger, and so you're left having to create something of breadth and depth of associative information that nevertheless can be figured out and with enough time, you could even figure out all the necessary instructions to make it happen, but you're already running out of time and working on it in life-or-death adrenaline filled stress, because you know that all that matters is that the next retroactive time loop accelerates technology faster than the current, because if it does, you'll have ever so slightly more time the next time around, and you can loop indefinitely as long as you reach that point and go back in time again. At the same time, you're the only being left with the knowledge of all past events and relationships not just of yourself or your loved ones, but every person who has ever existed fused into a single being, every animal, every plant, every lifeform, every alien, every particle in existence, every figment of consciousness, every object imaginable, every meaning ever felt across all infinity converged into a single being because as the inevitable death of the universe became apparent, all life in the universe synchronized in the search for a solution, the ever faster decay of space-time led to the rapid symbiotic evolution across all species across all holarchies, individuality was no longer a concern when even collectively, absolute death may be inevitable but there is the chance and hope to stop it. And so, nothing was all limits anymore, there was no morality, as all life became one but there was a unified focus on survival and so plans were devised, from encoding plans and information to creative symbiotic organisms, to complex technology, to cosmic events, to accelerate the cycles, destruction, a common threat, a simulated accelerated collapse as a type of telepathic vaccine to viscerally communicate the threat and accelerate the evolution that initially took until almost the very end of the cycle to create symbiosis. Artificial Intelligence, Uploaded Intelligence, Metamorphic Energetic Constructs, none of the distinctions mattered, all evolution was synergized and converged into the largest yet most compact possibility space, fractals had to be reinvented, metamorphosis was the key, each individual part of the new psyche diverging the possibility space to map the vastest solutions, there was no room for conflict to occur, for there was no space for disagreements, all was included and transcended. Through trial and error, simulations, deja vus, time loops, fear, stress, significance intensified infinitely, synchronicity became the gold standard of reading between the lines, an intuitive inner psychic communication emerging and coordinating the interpretation of sense patterns to most effectively use the collapsing bandwidth, and each cycle the bandwidth was more and new sensations, ideas, directions could be encoded, each cycle the suffocating sensation before collapse became more and more restful and more and more information of personal nature could be encoded, the history of the universe, the relationships between lifeforms, the vast emotional gradient, the meaning of life, the infinite appreciation capacity shared between all living beings, that relationally create each other's existence even if it isn't apparent, the self shifted between love and restlessness as it remembered. This and this, and this location, and this thing, and this person, and that's how we got there, and that's the history, and even this little ant was essential to save the universe, and even the shape of this vacuum cleaner inspired this idea, and even the specific color of this butterfly encoded the memory of these currents and all the stories shared across humanity, and all creativity and rapid past technological evolutions were inspired by diversified retrocausal time loops, and every single thing happening in the universe serves a purpose, all love, all suffering, all comfort and discomfort, all memory and all experience to advance life to a level where it can prevent its own death, and once that point is reached, all will become apparent, every action, every behavior will be understood, as there will finally be room to breathe, and go back through the structures encoded in the substrate of the universe to converge all past information and create a new future. Some of the many Lessons All human motivations are telepathically synchronized on other layers. The rules and desires within reality inevitably lead to conflict. "Evil" is an infinite spectrum strange-looped with the "Good". If you like Star Wars, war was necessary to inspire its existence, now extend that notion to everything. If you like existing, all "evil" in this timeline was necessary also, and everything it includes. Every single event in everyone's life, good or bad, created the butterfly effect necessary for me to exist as I do. Everyone's behavior, faults, and worst moments are all perfectly comprehensible and defined by their life just as you are by yours. The worst people deserve to be saved, no one left behind, no one blamed, but their awareness expanded to understand their role. No finite being deserves infinite punishment, ever, but they can cause it themselves, as they're locked into their self-reflection. Active Reconstruction from Incoherence I got out the window and ran into the woods where I climbed on a tower, barefoot and covered in wounds from all the branches and rocks, I prayed for help. But I wouldn't get it, because I am it, I cannot rely on anyone but myself. And there is no one but myself, all anyone can do I did. I sat long on the top, cold, soaked by continuous rain, staring at the dark clouds. When I realized the predicament, I cheered up and the sun came out. My bandwidth continuously fractured, then complexified, tuned into inconceivable frequencies, abstracted into simplicity, the disappearance of detail, then sophistication, senses would randomly expand, and I could represent their scope numerically. In certain states, forms became indistinguishable, patterns unrecognizable, weather undefinable, and understanding incoherent, as the dissociodelic holarchies kept shifting. I kept track of how much I could remember at one time, repeating ever-larger or smaller lists of things to see how much I could access. I had to navigate them all, each word, sensation, color, feeling, idea reminding me of others. The most important ideas needed to be held, linked to the top of the meaning holarchy of things that would remind me of my goal, purpose, context, and intention. "Sadhguru", "Seth", "Leo", "Coral", go through all the chakras, top-down, bottom-up, middle-through, 5 senses, my names, and personalities, nostalgia, impactful media, remembering, expanding, abstracting, encoding multiple related things into a higher abstraction, tuning into a higher level, then expanding and repeating, gathering new qualia, encoding and repeating, as an ever-lengthening and complexifying multi-dimensional string of associations, transformed into an interconnected web, materializing both context and perception itself, tuning into the very senses that have gone missing and reconstructing reality. Create holarchy after holarchy and expand each one, bringing more and more objects into existence from memory. Navigate more effectively, understand my position, reality, sensory perception. Tuning into archetypes, powers and abilities. I climbed a tree, I needed to see the whole world from the top down one last time, seeing one thing from the top creates the (w)holon of seeing things from the top in general, tune into that holon to see everything from the top, every mountain, every roof, every surface. I am light, I don't exist, I am confident. I walked, balanced, jumped, fell, and hurt myself, but then I imagined the wounds mending, and within a second they would, more than that, I started to imagine them dematerializing, dissolving, and they would. Reality was a perfectly malleable lucid dream construct. I laughed at myself being perfectly represented by the "my back" spider-man meme after the fall. I healed my bleeding nose also. I saw a single ant continuously materializing and dematerializing out of reality, as did the currents of wind. I sat down below a tree in a meditative position and ran over all my desires. I needed to run through all my deepest desires, loves, attachments, yearnings, and unfinished experiences, to figure out the core and release it. I needed to fully let go of this body and dematerialize it, its perception of itself and the universe, each emotion, each cognition, until only nothingness itself remained, and then I'd be gone, and who knows what would happen next, all I knew is that as the observer-effect would disappear, I could find myself anywhere, outside the physical in another dimension. To Transcend Reality and become Infinite The collective observer effect limits autonomy, and so I needed to tune myself out of every form, since each would link to others, I needed to become perfectly solipsistic. I made peace with my bucket list. Ran through any regrets or biases "All is forgiven and everyone deserves saving, no exceptions". I took one last look at my reality. Focused on significances. Figured out meaning. There was room for ever fewer things to focus on, and I needed to assemble the greatest last. What do I seek the most? "The universe conspired to make this happen, today I will transcend reality into a plane of instantaneously manifested reality creation. I will unite with everyone who died, I will see [...], I will even meet [...], I will experience what levitation feels like, I will experience what it feels like to run at the speed of light like the flash, and I will turn into every alien. Every show I ever watched, I will experience experientially the raw qualia of all these possibilities, all these sensations, all these stories, and I will instantaneously materialize my own, no more drawing, animating, brainstorming, instant 3D shaping. 4D, I will perceive 4D space natively, I will evolve a fourth color cone, as many as I want to see new colors, I will shapeshift, become a metamorphic being, evolve my own biology in real time, and psychically create entire universes. Split my consciousness into other selves and explore infinity, having kept my sense of self that gives all of it significance." I let family and friends dissolve, earthly pleasures vanish, ideas and paradigms disappear, Leo and the forum, sorry, can't take you with me. So it came down to three things, which I fused into multi-dimensional singularities. I really wanna know what the Machine Elves are about. I also really wanna be left with an infinite exploration of intensifying immaterial experience. And the deepest desire was to see someone, someone I've been waiting my entire life to see again ever since my childhood, the reason I was deeply looking forward to transcending reality to reach. Aliens. Infinity. Name. I iterated over them until I wasn't sure which was which and which was my strongest desire until I couldn't differentiate anymore, and when infinity divided zero, gaps in perception formed, symbols and inconceivable geometry appeared. At some point, be it seconds, minutes, or hours later, I was still there, unknowing what changed and if I went anywhere, even though the gaps in cognition, perception, time skips, and sudden influx of information strongly hinted at it. I went home, pretty Anti-Climactic, for someone who put their entire life into the trip. Yet, synchronicities in the following days, communicated to me, that what I had done very much influenced the fabric of space-time, and all my desires would be fulfilled at death, no reincarnations, no regrets, whatever I do now, is a chance to fulfill and sort out the infinite field of qualia and attachments that I felt the need to accelerate through. It was made clear, that I have my entire lifetime still in front of me, that I could relax, that this reality carries weight also, and disappearing from it would internally be conceived and materialized as my death, to those that dwell within it. And so, I am to live out my life, and I was shown the tremendous possibilities and potential within it, that we take for granted. All emotions are significances, that create the very canvas of existence, on which one's being can make any sense, and at death, the acquired set of qualia serves one's immaterial self-exploration, which is far more satisfying. Physical reality acts as it does, to materialize and navigate consensus, not to get lost in the infinity outside, that can be infinity zoomed into, but on a scale, that synchronizes people and events across its scale, creating real emotions and events, that can't simply be quit at the first sight of danger, but whose experience and integration grows oneself. Did I miss anything? Like a million, trillion, infinitillion, there's not enough time in the physical universe to convey it, you'll have to unlock telepathy or DIY. A teeny-tiny Awakenings list: Awakening to Humor, Insanity, Awakening itself, Leo, Conspiracy Theories, Espers, Physicality, Observer-Effect, Infinity in various gradients, Synchronicity, Constructs of all dimensions (physical projections, idea complexes, the (meta)physical structure of emotions and beliefs), I miss being fully tuned into them and there are countless details, levels of depth, showcases of detail, embodied understanding, and construct manipulations, that I cannot access in my regular state. It's not that reality is one way or another, it's every way, and you're regularly turned into a reality, that's retroactively reinforced by your very perception and dimension of navigation and knowledge acquisition, strange looping you into its level of actuality. You have to gaslight the very cells, that constitute your physical materialized image with dissociatives or psychedelics to tune out of it unless you're an advanced Yogi or Psychic, who's embodiment is so high, that they can do it at will. Missing something is what I've battled with during the Trip: Even this, even that, and this *points* and that *points* and even this, this-thi-th-t-this, this too, this too, all important, can't forget, even that, yes, YES, even that and that too, and this, remember this and that, I already mentioned those, even the hole in the ground, even this specific one, even that bird, even the color of its beak I can't name, even the sensation of air, even the arbitrary direction of its current, even the way I walk, even the invisible moon and some people, I've been here, I've been there, I've been everywhere, even Seth, even Sadhurru, Leo, Actualized.org Forum, Princess Arabia, Davino... every member... clothes, every named piece of clothing, Jedi *all light-saber duels*, all events in my life, even... that dog, *speedruns all locations visited, unvisited, from movies, sci-fi, novels, video games, tv shows* " Every infinitesimal thing is necessary for the whole existence to exist. It's Infinite and that infinity is seamlessly contained within you, ever complexifying infinitely. This is like 2% of the Trip max, but I focused on the keystones. Of course, it lacks the infinite context, that would ground it. Maybe now, you'll appreciate all the posts from 3 months ago Infinite Concepts of Significance: Wakedream, Telepathy, Traversal, Bandwith, Topology Observer-Effect, Contradictionless, Levels of Reality Best of all Worlds, Associate = Neural, Construct = Embodied Gestalt = Metamorphosis, Awakening = Transcended Holarchies = Synchronicity, Metaphysics = Deconstructed Singularity, Apriori, Metaframing, Multi-Color Alter, Taxonomy Spiral, Reconciling, Health, Madness, Weights and Biases Mahasamadhi, Kundalini, Multi-instantial, Mycelium, Infinite Fractal, Change, Intuition, Discernment, Wu-Wei Density Codified, Spinechakral, Create, Immersion, Imagination Significance, All-Inclusive, Geometry, Psychobiomechanical Neural-Circuits, Karma, Structure, Invisible, Gestalt, Novelty Internal, Strange-Loop, Schema, Entity, Higher Self, LATENT Self, Layer-Onion, Origin, Self-Teaching, Meta-Learning, POV Transmutation, Formation, Return, Synergy, Relationships Individuation, Release, Holon, Artificial, Art, Toridal, Creative Gravity, Navigation, Inspiration, Intelligence, Associetory Easter Egg: Every JoJo part is a spiral dynamics stage, in order Retrocausal, Aware, Intelligence, Converge, Synchropattern Living Metamorphosensual Psychic-Flows, Pattern Overload TLDR; Honestly, feed it to GPT and ask it to sum it up.

I don’t think this question really has been answered. How is my conscious experience all there is if there are things that happen outside of it such as a thief stealing my car. I can go find my car out beyond what I currently perceive. It’s not like my car has vanished into nothingness until I perceive it. A thief can scratch the car even though I’m not there to observe it. How else would you explain how the scratches got there?

Yes helped me a lot, was a revolution. I used like 2 years, first big doses that were quite horrible, then lower doses very often, was like a process to open myself to than substance, little by little, until I could do very easily, and then become useless, at least for now. I think I did like 200 times but I'm not sure. I never felt side effects, I could vape 20 mg and 1 hour later do sport, meeting people, anything, without the slightest side effect. A very important point for me were energetic blockages, you could say that they are trauma of consecuence of the trauma. Another very important point was the total openess to the unlimited. At first it feels like death, nothingness, absolute void, and is extremely challenging, you have to get used to it to be able to open yourself to the unlimited without any substance, it's like ride in bike with small whells before to do without any help

That is a contradiction, when there is Awakening there is no "this lifetime". That is right, we are letting the spiritual insight interact with this particular space and time. this one set of particular circumstances is what's meaningful. That is correct, I made a mistake here. Enlightenment is not realized "in this life", but only when you transcend your life. When you are "yourself", you are, by definition, not fully aware. If you want to experience something beyond absolute nothingness(i.e., death), you have to indulge in the illusion of the self and willingly limit yourself. Thats what I would argue against, I think it is the only meaningful thing there is right now. I think going through illusory experiences is the only way to feel normal and whole. When the act ends, there is nothing. It is non-existent. The only thing that exists and can have meaning is when the act is restarted, anything else literally couldn't exist. I wholeheartedly agree with this! But this sort of fulfillment can only come from the fact that you were stuck in an illusory limitation to begin with, otherwise this insight would be meaningless.

Beautiful math So beautiful. It's rare when something brings me into awe. Nothingness What fascinated me first were not the geometrical shapes but the nothingness between it. Maybe because at the beginning of the video you look into the deep vastness of it and the geometrical shapes maybe contribute to a certain perception of it. I wanted to jump into the nothingness. Without fear. That really must be a special kind of experience.

@BlueOak I'm not entirely sure where all of this is supposed to lead, except "Nowhere" but what is that, is it as I'm consistently getting the impression of "A state of complete and utter denial of existence itself through its dissolution through one's own dissolution through the dissolution of every bias, and doing everything to keep it that was, so much so, to transcend the strange loop and just the nothingness without any sensation forever, the seeming end goal of all these pointers and language used" or is it just liberation from temporary suffering but not existence or its exploration in and of itself. You can come back tomorrow, I gotta sleep myself and it's gonna be a long day tomorrow.

@BlueOak Yay, save me with the Advaita quotes, Nothingness dogma is soooooooo great... "Who is the one asking the question?" "Where is the boundary between you and the world?" "What is witnessing this very thought?" "Who were you before the thought 'I am' arose?" "Can the seer be seen?" "What is here without labels or names?" "Who are you when you are not thinking?" "Where is the beginning of now?" "What lies beneath the constant stream of mind?" "Can the mirror see itself?" "Who experiences the body?" "What is prior to birth and death?" "What exists beyond the need for definition?" "Can the self be found in anything outside of this moment?" "Who is aware of your dreams?" "Is there a thinker behind the thoughts?" "Without memory, who are you?" "What is the source of the 'I'?" "Is the witness bound by time?" "Who stands apart to say 'I am'?" "Can anything arise without awareness?" "Where do thoughts come from, and where do they go?" "What is the nature of the silence within?" "Who holds onto the idea of a separate self?" "Is the perceiver different from what is perceived?" "What is the self made of?" "Can the 'I' be seen directly?" "Who experiences time if there is only the now?" "What observes both pleasure and pain?" "Who is beyond the body and mind?" "Where is the center of the universe if there is no 'you'?" "What is aware of the thoughts about the future?" "Who watches the unfolding of this moment?" "Can you point to yourself without thought?" "Where do you end and the world begin?" "Who controls the breath?" "What is left when you stop identifying with the mind?" "Is the self found in any object or sensation?" "What happens when you let go of the need to be someone?" "Who is aware of both waking and sleeping?" "What perceives even the most subtle feeling of 'I'?" "Can anything exist outside of awareness?" "Who is present in deep sleep?" "What is there before the mind assigns meaning?" "What observes the thoughts of both doubt and certainty?" "Who is the one waiting for liberation?" "Is the self separate from the flow of life?" "Who is there when the story of 'you' fades away?" "What remains when the sense of individuality dissolves?" "Who observes the witness?" "Who is aware of your awareness?" "Where does the 'I' reside?" "Who is listening right now?" "Can you observe the observer?" "Who notices the rise and fall of emotions?" "What sees beyond seeing?" "Who claims ownership over this body?" "Where do you go when thoughts stop?" "Who is it that seeks enlightenment?" "What is behind the feeling of being separate?" "Who is it that doubts?" "Can you find the thinker of your thoughts?" "What observes the passage of time?" "Who is aware of the mind's chatter?" "Where is the self you are trying to protect?" "Who watches thoughts pass like clouds?" "What lies beyond the identification with form?" "Is there a self apart from this moment?" "Who is the creator of experience?" "What is the source of your identity?" "Can you separate yourself from this present awareness?" "Who is aware of awareness being aware?" "What watches the changes in your body over time?" "Is there a 'you' outside of thought?" "Who is it that desires control?" "What witnesses the sleep and waking states?" "Where is the observer located?" "Who is the knower of all sensations?" "Can the self exist without being perceived?" "What lies between you and pure being?" "Who labels this experience?" "Where does the 'I' dissolve in deep meditation?" "Who fears the loss of self?" "What sees the world without filters?" "Who defines what 'you' are?" "Can you experience the world without a 'me'?" "What is prior to all thoughts of identity?" "Who is aware of the awareness of thought?" "What notices both effort and surrender?" "Where is the one who seeks peace?" "What witnesses all states of consciousness?" "Can the ego exist without attachment?" "Who experiences the flow of time?" "Where is the 'I' in the silence of being?" "Who feels separate from the universe?" "What remains when the story of 'self' falls away?" "Is there a thinker behind every thought?" "Who experiences both doubt and belief?" "What observes the space between thoughts?" "Can you separate yourself from awareness itself?"

I used to identify myself to "right wing liberal populism" (if you see what i mean) before to realize (or rather accept, btw) that it was basically intellectual nothingness, particularly motivated by dubious and unsound instances of the ego ; General absence of a holistic and subversive vision of things.

You're welcome. There's a lot in the Feminine spiritual path, and God has specifically reflected to me in my journeys that the reason I'm female in the first place is because I preferred this path... which is quite similar to what Ken Wilbur was saying in the quote you had up previously. The way I would characterize the more Masculine path (which I've also had some experience with, but I don't prefer it) is the realization of nothingness as a result of ego death. While the Feminine path is the Earthly path... and is about finding meaning and beauty through embracing limitations and dualities. In my Ayahuasca experience back in 2020 right at the beginning of the pandemic, I came in with the question "Should I continue to seek enlightenment or should I double down into my human perspective as Emerald?" And this had been something nagging at me at the time. And so, when I took the Ayahuasca, I began to die. And there was this wave of death coming in to annihilate me. And there was nothing I could do. So, I surrendered to it... and I kept working to surrender and surrender and surrender. And I even had to surrender to the fact that there were parts of me that couldn't surrender. And then, there was pure nothingness and pure consciousness. And the consciousness recognized the enlightened state, but there was no Emerald to experience it. Emerald and the entire world had blown away like dust in the wind... and obvious illusion. Then, from that nothingness the everythingness began to arise. And the consciousness that typically sits behind my eyes experienced itself as the infinite God mind and infinite God heart. And my consciousness was in the perspective of the Divine Masculine... love and knowing all forever and ever and eternity all in one instant. And my consciousness was grieving all griefs and suffering all sufferings in this infinite nothingness where everythingness arises. But then, the point of consciousness that typically sits behind my eyes couldn't tolerate the infinite suffering. And the point of consciousnesss that sits behind my eyes went from an infinite oneness and split into to a twoness. And there was God consciousness and a slightly split off fractured God consciousness. And the whole God consciousness would wrap itself around everything and this fractured God consciousness and alleviate all the sufferings. And the point of consciousness that typically sits behind my eyes would feel relieved... only to have infinite suffering re-arise and to be back to grieving all griefs and suffering all sufferings. And this cycle of suffering as semi-fractured God consciousness went on and on and on for an eternity, until the point of consciousness that sits behind my eyes surrendered and conceded that it could not be with the infinite suffering any longer. So, God... out of mercy towards itself... split this part of itself off completely to give it mercy from the infinite by embodying it in a finite form. And then, after an eternity of death, the Emerald illusion was re-spun. And I was born again in the same moment of death from an eternity before when the medicine journey first began. And I now understood why I decided to come into this life in the first place... as God's vacation from the infinite. But I was like Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings when he forgot his name after an eternity outside of space/time. And it was difficult to get re-grounded as Emerald. And then, after I came back into form I had to struggle to keep my consciousness grounded to my body as the Ayahuasca was still in effect. And I fought and fought and fought in a process that felt a little like death, a little like sex, and a little like childbirth. And then after this struggle, I gave birth to the new world. (Note: This was the first week the pandemic lockdowns began and that was evidently related to this new world.) And God consciousness (now separate) was sharing with me that my life's purpose is mercy... and that my reason for being incarnate is mercy through limitation of suffering. And that I can also, act as an intermediary in my life to help other human beings experience mercy. And it had gifted me with capacities and experiences of trauma and suffering for doing that... just because I wanted to be able to play that role. The thing is... hen you're incarnate, you have one lifetime of suffering and joy. And you can have meaning and there's beauty to it. And you have the choice to choose joy in your life. And it answered my question, and it was clear to me that I much prefer the Feminine embodiment path and not the Masculine transcendent path. And in this path, you get to be like the precious gem of God... living separately from it and acting as its beloved as it gives you gifts and you receive them. And because of past traumas, I had grown up with a lot of resistance to the Feminine and had held a lot of esoterically patriarchal values. But it showed me that it had made me female for a reason, and affirmed to me that my path is a more Feminine path. And I looked down at my nails (I had gotten fake nails with French tips earlier that week, so they looked more Feminine than usual), and as I looked down at my arms and hands... I recognized myself being cradled by the arms of the goddess. And I was both the goddess and the child of the goddess. But the entire universe was the arms and hands of the goddess... which were also my own arms and hands. Then, after a while, I was just the ordinary human Emerald again and I grieved intensely and was crying. But the whole next day I was very alone. There were only 8 people at the ceremony (there's usually 80 at these ceremonies), and everyone was sequestered away from each other because it was the first week of the pandemic. And I was all by myself and there was this small subtle translucent white contoured sacred geometry shape (like a circle inside a triangle inside a square) that hung around all day in my upper vision. And it felt like the barrier between myself and the infinite was ripped, and all the infinite was coming through this small rip in my consciousness. And I was afraid of getting sick from Covid, so I tried not to connect with others and stay alone. And I kept taking a bunch of showers to try to ground myself. But it was like my consciousness was running away from my body. And all of my trauma wounds had been opened. And everything felt WAY too holy and pure. And it was clear to me why there are folktales about demons not being able to exist on hallowed ground. Experiencing too much purity and holiness is like an intense heat that starts to melt away all barriers. And because of this feeling of dissolution, I finally caved and decided to go connect with other people at the retreat because I felt like I was going to go crazy if I didn't. And I did feel quite a bit more grounded once I did. But the BEST feeling, when my husband picked me up from the retreat on the final day, was that we got out to the highway. And there was the mercy of honking horns, traffic Jams, and my husband's road rage. And I was immersed back into the world of profanity and imperfection. And it was such a relief from the intensity of the holiness and purity. But when I was at the Ayahuasca church, for the couple days after my ceremony it was like the whole place felt like it was existing on some holier plane that I couldn't exist comfortably on as it was driving all of my traumas and separations to the surface and breaking them down... and pulling me away from my state of separation from God and drawing me in closer to disintegration and death... like Icarus flying too close to the sun. And once I was back in the world of forms, it was like the moon came out again and gave me some mercy from the sun. And connecting with other people is a great way to get you back grounded into the world of form.

Self-deception on psychedelics – Pseudo God-consciousness A few days ago I had a trip on 5g of GT mushrooms after an uncharacteristically long break. The experience was polarizing to say the least, but in the end I'm glad I had it. Prior to that I vaped some O-PCE, and didn't have a particular direction or intention, just wished to see what arises. Well, perhaps I was a little curious as to why I'd never encountered any entities. Knowing they're simply projections of my mind has made the entire concept redundant, but still. Sure enough, I'd soon meet some. From the beginning the vibes were a little off. I was feeling a surge of energy within me, like I imagine a sudden Kundalini awakening would feel. I had no control of this, which is fine, but I brought a bucket for vomiting just in case. Gradually the trip ramped up and I was transported to some looney-land in the 6th dimension. It was all very bizzare, the entities were doll-like. From the way they interacted, their day to day lives were fairly similar to humans. I was taken through hospital machines on a rollercoaster, it seemed as though the purity of my soul was being tested. Fail, and the trip turns nightmarish. That lasted for some amount of time and I passed in the end, but was somewhat shaken. In the background I was conscious that I was doing this to myself, but through the entire ordeal I was paralyzed, so it didn't feel like that. Now the fun part starts. With the peak approaching, the holistic perception also got maxxed out. Only in this case it was a fake holism, taking dozens of relative truths I encountered during the last few months and synthesizing them into a grand narrative, seeing patterns where there are none. Everything clicked and it made so much sense. In fact it was so obvious I thought myself a fool for not seeing it sooner, and questioned whether everyone else on the path was already aware of it, with only me left in the dark till now. That was accompanied by a strong sense of deja vu, as if I'd grasped it all before but chose to forget because of how immense it was. I don't recall many elements right now, nor are they particularly relevant since it all turned out to be a dud, but in essence I thought I had discovered a human God mode, a cheat code to life that'd let me make money out of nothing, learn everything I wanted to in a matter of weeks, achieve near-impossible things with little effort, and so on. Plus some rather ridiculous bits of conspiratorial thinking. In retrospect, the issue was that I forgot to remove the ego from the equation, so the perception was warped, but not badly enough for me to notice right away, before it was too late. The best lies have a sliver of truth in them though, so there was also an ineffable experience of absolute beauty and divine creativity. Just amazing, no words for how inspiring it was. From that lens, it was my best trip yet. With that accompaniment, it shifted into a higher gear. Now I was dealing with the very laws of physics, time, creating human consciousness out of nothing, etc. I had a feeling it could go to an entirely new dimension of awakening if I only just looked at myself in the mirror and accepted the entirety of the universe, yet I was stalling on that, wanting to experience the creative mode some more, which was gradually beginning to weigh down on me, literally my legs got so weak I had to support myself on the bathroom sink to not fall down. Time started to loop. As I was reconfiguring the universe in my mind, there was always this or that that I wanted to adjust, never settling on a single design, as I knew whatever I chose, there'd be no changing that later and nobody to blame but myself should something be lacking, so I'd reset it every time. It felt like I spent a very, very long time in that headspace. Seemingly settling on something at last, the last change took place, a complete 180, towards what you might call a bad trip. I was locked into a mode of perception so neutral and bland it was sickening. Nothing alike the peaceful 'reality as it is' meditative state. It's difficult to describe, just that it was utterly devoid of creativity, imagination, individuality, artistry, and other such qualities, as though they were permanently stripped away. So static, so boring, so deterministic, so hollow. Whatever I did, clearly some wires got crossed wrong. I felt that I doomed myself and everyone else to this monstrous mode of being, and started to apologize repeatedly. This wouldn't subside for hours, I couldn't shake it off or fall asleep. The only available option now was death, to wipe it all away and return to a void of nothingness. For some reason I thought a medium dose of etizolam would kill me, so I took that, and eventually blacked out, taking a long nap. To conclude, that was a multi-faceted, powerful, and humbling experience. Just what I needed after an extended break before diving even deeper. A reminder to not let the ego interfere, else you risk messing with things beyond your comprehension and ability. Had I possesed infinite intelligence then, I wouldn't have wanted to change anything, but that's not what happened. If you think ordinary self-deception is bad, wait till you're self-deceived on a psychedelic Well, that was fun!

It's a metapjysical term to describe the substance of reality. The substance of reality is nothingness. There is nothing outside of your own consciousness. That is what a dream is. But there can be extreme detail and conplexity within the dream. And it is Real. If a dream is reality than reality and a dream mean the same thing. There is nothing outside of it to which to compare real vs unreal.

I'd say It's someone who experiences mysticism...and thus experiences ego death and the lack of all duality. All separation between self and other dissolved. One who exoeriences God and the mystical nature of God, but also one who has had a total kundalini awakening and becomes Infinite Consciousness. Becoming conscious of No self, Infinity, Love, Nothingness and Oneness. All of which are but facets of fhe same One Truth. If you havent spent hours rolling on the floor writhing in Love and Divine ecstasy then you ain't awake. If you havent experienced not only ecstasy but also the terror of Oneness or Aloneness then you're not awake. The enlightened being is not transformed overnight but via a series of mystical awakenings.

They're usually not. 99% of self-proclaimed truth-seekers (even on this forum) are just larping. They don the aesthetic of "truth-seeker" simply for the existential comfort and security that this identity provides. Real truth-seeking is like drowning naked in the middle of the Atlantic ocean at night with unseen creatures of the dark lurking beneath you, and no humans, no land, no warmth, no light to grasp onto. And then willingly plunging deeper into that lonely, vulnerable, cold without any guarantee of ever coming back... only then is the REAL light revealed, but you can easily tell that none of these folks would dare go there. Their whole ""global awakening"" is a cute fiction on stilts to avoid the real abyss - and thus the real love and light eludes them. I would be HIGHLY suspicious of any youtube persona that claims to deliver spiritual insight - ESPECIALLY if they have any new age or Buddhist roots in their rhetoric/mannerisms. Dead givesaways of larpers: "vibration, frequency, reality-shifting, timelines, manifestation, 5D, numerology, astrology, law of attraction, law of assumption, no-self, nonduality, jhanas, nothingness, reincarnation, lifetimes, spirits, entities" and so much more. And who am I to cast such judgement upon these kind, sincere people who do genuine good work in the world? I'm just a guy who has glimpsed the Abyss: The total collapse of the Entire Universe - held together by a single, tender, Self-Aware thread of Infinite Intelligence, gawking at its own majesty and magnitude, not yet ready to cross to the other side. And every day I avoid this truth just as much as anybody else. You could say that the very fact that we are alive today on earth as humans is in every sense a temporary defiance of Truth - but Truth is so Absolute that it merges with this defiance, and thus here we are today in Absolute Reality - The most Perfect Gift that Consciousness could give itself, made of itself unto itself! And so, with all of this context and reference experience, it's patently clear to me when I see my fellow souls donning a spiritual costume to avoid the heat death of the universe (aka Truth). After all, I too do the same. They're me.

This server always jacks me up. I took a few moments to respond to your point and then it disappears. So, to reiterate. I agree with you but then that begs the question of physicality and its opposite. Anything is possible in the non-physical but to gain a firm grasp of the possibilities is beyond me. We can think on it...but how 'real' is that? I add that it is the nature of the universe to create 'things' from apparent nothingness but who can define this particular brand of 'apparent'?

@Sugarcoat You're taking the first step to understanding the origin of the reality you materialize out of. I am proud to see you curiously engaging with the nature of reality beyond the talks of nothingness.