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I can resonate. When I first began practicing yoga it was quite the challenge of course because I had so much built up trauma stored in my body that it caused me to have deep emotional/physical reactions in which I had to overcome. Trembling, rapid breathing, slideshows of random uninvited memories. Such things like EMDR and inner child meditations, conquering the Shadow of my childhood also created similar experiences like this, but which ultimately felt like I was unraveling into cathartic bliss.

@StardewValley You are failing to see that you are NOT supposed to be in pain. Just because most of people experience pain, not fall into ''I am supposed to''. No, there is no supposed to look or feel anything during meditation. Just go with it. If you are experiencing bliss or balance (back pain + bliss elsewhere) I would suggest to keep the going, observing the pain - bliss sensation, and Keep going and going and going to start seeing the 'bottom' of it.

@Leo Gura Just seeing your elaborated response now. My very first trip was more enlightening and pleasant than any other. It was during a time where I meditated way more often than I do now and I did it with intent to elevate. I had a very profound experience from it. I forgot most of it because it was years ago but I remember feeling pure bliss and experiencing fractals, and what not. The other two where great also but this one was not only a mind fuck it scared the shit out of me. This really turns me off from it psychedelics. Who wants to be go through this? If its like my first trip where its all bliss I'm all for it but this was sheer terror. Having your mind blown is cool and all but i want it accompanied by the agape love I felt the first time and not this shit lol Thanks for the insight Leo. Really appreciate it.

I originally took LSD because the idea of seeing visuals other than what I usually see was amazing. The experience itself ended up being just as amazing if not more. Then I continued to take it for fun. I was in many psychedelic FB groups in which they spoke about things that sounded like wo woo stuff to me as I was a hard materialist logical atheist. I didn't understand and the only response I got was to take more psychedelics. On 1mg of LSD I had the realization all is one. It came into my head like a lightbulb clicking. It was so obvious. I was in a state of perfect bliss. But that was on my come down. The come up and peak I was in a state locked on the floor sweating and seeing shit I can't even comprehend. I didn't think much of it. Continued to do LSD for fun and then after experimenting with DXM I did LSD+DXM and had my first major enlightenment where everything clicked and thats when my past insight clicked as well. My friend showed me Leo's video on the magnitude of reality because at the time reality just working amazed the fuck out of me. This trip marked my path towards higher states of consciousness. Now I technically do psychedelics for both fun and insights, but I find the most insights occur when I am not pursuing insights and just fun.

Great perspective. What to eat has always been a question because we override our bodies natural intelligence with all of these moral philosophies and egoic beliefs. As long as we have strong egos, we will continue to eat unbalanced, because the place we live from (in the head) is unbalanced to begin with, and uncomfortable emotions will lead us to addictive habits to mask them. Worrying about diet creates more worry. Focus instead on what you want to create like Love, joy, and bliss and all else will be added unto you. My body innate wisdom shows me what to eat. My body is my temple for the pure consciousness I am. I am health. I Am life.

@Jack River “Psychological time”. You remind me of Faceless. @Serotoninluv Security and comfort for the ego is different from bliss. Bliss is what you feel when your identity expand outside the body to include everything. It can also be called unconditional love. It feels very peaceful!

@How to be wisecan you list me your negative emotions? Do you see sadness as negative? Sounds boring to me...i would rather feel nothing and have bliss arise spontaneously at any given moment. Maybe they just don't define the emotions they have to be negative...possibly it's taking the seriousness out of the identity?

@How to be wise I think he was pointing to the illusion that self so impulsively moves towards. There is true happiness/“bliss” when living a whole/undivided life. The point is self and it’s conditioned movement will associate “progress” as leading to ecstasy. This is psychological time at work and only as I said before sustains the false division of self/conflict.

100% wrong. The more conscious you are, the more you feel blissful with life. This is so obvious! I can’t believe that you don’t know that yet. In Vedanta, they associate “The absolute” with three terms: Sat Chit Ananda, which means Truth, Consciousness, Bliss. Do more study please! Awakening clearly has a preference to bliss. Unconsciousness prefers terror.

Be aware of associating "progress" with "ecstasy". This was a major trap for me. Awakening has no preference toward bliss or terror. Awakening doesn't care if the personality feels good or awful. Also, the personality is not a static construct. It is dynamic - constantly evolving. There are methods that may resonate with a personality. Yet, the idea of a "correct" or "better" method is very subjective. If Byron Katie resonates with you and your intuition draws you in that direction - go for it. Yet, your personality may outgrow Katie. Things that seem spiritual or true today - might not seem spiritual or true next month. Neti Neti, Kriya Yoga may re-enter. Or a new method may enter. I observe a lot of suffering caused by the personality trying to maintain the illusion of a static personality over time.

1) It’s perfectly fine to enjoy your practice. I feel like sustaining 3 hours per day is plenty of difficulty for now. The biggest thing is dont get lost in the bliss. Are you trying to feel good or are you trying to observe what’s true? 2) I would dedicate a specific time during your meditation to be examining emotions, and another segment towards surrendering and letting go. It sounds like you’re over thinking this one a bit. 3) This is a great question. From my experience, it depends. Ive found that quality is more important than quantity for meditation. So maximizing quality is key here. However, Ive also found there to be a non-linear increase in efficacy as the mediation practice lengthens such that I suspect 1 super solid 12 hour session would yield greater growth than 12 1 hour sessions. But! This doesnt take into account time and also like... there’s no way id be able to sustain a 12 hour session at this moment, so the 12 1 hour would actually be more helpful given the quality principle. Hope this helps.

I am pretty sure you can stop attaching yourself to negative emotions (which would be emotional mastery I guess) and still be attached to the physical body, to mind, to bliss etc. - therefore not completely free.

You don’t need to do anything external (I.e. any rite, ritual, or practice) to spiritually awaken. Spiritual awakening is not dependent upon the clothes you wear, your kriya yoga practice, psychedelics, mantras, affirmations, changing how you behave in any way shape or form, upon doing any “spiritual practice” or upon anything external. To open yourself to Unconditonal Love means you don’t need to change your life in any way! You are already perfect, whole and complete right here and right now. Our minds trick us into thinking happiness is outside of us; in a spiritual practice or a relationship. Happiness comes from within. This means you are free to do anything you want externally, you don’t need to use your minds anymore to tell yourself what to do or how to behave. For the purpose of spirituality is to transcend the mind entirely, not to use the mind to motivate us to do certain things that we think could bring us happiness. All that is required, all that was ever required is to focus within, upon your heart, or upon the breathing chest. Watch unlimited happiness grow, as it does for me more everyday. Let your heart guide your external life. Let it show you the way in every second, because your heart is your true self, the infinite consciousness that always experiences a state of pure bliss. Let this video further take this all important point home. Learn to stop being a slave to your mind by coming into your hearts, by valuing Unconditonal Love more than anything else, more than any thought no matter how important it may seem. https://channelhigherself.com/videos/satsang-with-the-self/how-to-stay-motivated-to-do-spiritual-practices-meditation-yoga-etc/

@non_nothing You’d not be, so you’d definitely not be worried about anything. On the contrary, would be the realization there was never anything to worry about. Bliss. It might seem like thought is needed to get things done, etc, but it is not. Synchronicity just is, and everything gels naturally, unresisted by thought, as there never was a doer.

One of Ramana Maharshi’s core teachings was about the Heart. How all thoughts originate from the Heart, and even our soul originated there. By surrendering to Heart without reservation, Ramana promises true bliss and fufillment by knowing that we are one with God, and made of pure Love. Q : Surrender is impossible. A : Yes, complete surrender is impossible in the beginning. Partial surrender is certainly possible for all. In course of time that will lead to complete surrender. Q : Partial surrender – well – can it undo destiny? A : Oh, yes! It can. _____ Q : How I can gain that peace of mind? A : Through devotion and surrender. Bhakti is the same as vichara. The form and appearance of God -manifestation are determined by the mind of the devotee. But it is not the finality. There is the sense of duality. A Higher Power is leading you. Be led by the same. The Higher Power knows what to do and how to do it. Trust it. _____ Q: How is Grace to be obtained? A : Similar to obtaining the Self. Q : Practically, how is it to be done for us? A : By self-surrender. Bhakti and Self Enquiry are one and the same. The Self of the Advaitins is the God of the bhaktas. All systems agree on self-surrender. Attain it first. _____ Surrender will make one understand the Grace. Grace is constant. Q : How to gain Divine Grace? A : By surrender. Q : Still I do not feel Grace. A : Sincerity is wanting. Surrender should not be verbal nor conditional. Prayer is not verbal. It is from the heart. _____ Grace is both the beginning and the end. Introversion is due to Grace; Perseverance is Grace; and Realisation is Grace. That is the reason for the statement “Only surrender to Me.” If one has entirely surrendered oneself, is there any part left to ask for Grace. Surrender yourself unreservedly and the Higher Power will reveal itself. Either the thoughts are eliminated by holding on to the root thought ‘I’ or one surrenders oneself unconditionally to the Higher Power. These are the only two ways for realisation. It is not enough that one thinks of God while doing the karma, but one must continually and unceasing think of Him. Then alone will the mind become pure. God cannot be deceived by outward genuflections, bowings and prostrations. Leave it to Him. Surrender unreservedly. One of two things must be done. Either surrender because you admit your inability and also require a Higher Power to help you; or investigate into the cause of misery, go into the source and merge into the Self. Either way you will be free from misery. God never forsakes one who has surrendered. _____ Q : Can Sri Bhagavan help us to realise the Truth? A : Help is always there. Q : I do not feel the ever-present help. A : Surrender and you will find it. Q : Can I throw myself at the mercy of the Sadguru. A : Yes, instructions are necessary only so long as one has not surrendered oneself. Surrender to Him and abide by His will whether he appears or vanishes; await His pleasure. If you ask Him to do as you please, it is not surrender but command to Him. You cannot have Him obey you and yet think that you have surrendered. He knows what is best and when and how to do it. Leave everything entirely to Him. His is the burden; you have no longer any cares. All your cares are His. Such is surrender. This is bhakti. Surrender can take effect only when done with full knowledge. Such knowledge comes after enquiry. It ends in surrender. _____ There are two ways: either ask yourself, ‘Who am I?” or submit. Submit to Me and I will strike down the mind. There is no better “karma” or “bhakti” than enquiry into the self. The second path is the way of self-surrender – the way of sharanagathi. Surrender yourself to the universal and you will be absorbed in the universal. _____ Surrender is complete only when you reach the stage Thou are all’ and ‘Thy will be done’. … you can have no likes or dislikes after your surrender; your will should become completely non-existent, the Lord’s will taking its place. The death of the ego in this way brings about a state which is not different from jnana or oneness. So by whatever path you may go, you must come to jnana. _____ When one has completely surrendered oneself at the feet of Siva, thereby becoming of the nature of the Self, the resulting abundant peace, in which there is not even the least room within the Heart for one to make any complaint about one’s defects and deficiencies, alone is the nature of Supreme devotion. _____ The end of sadhana, even in bhakti marga (the path of devotion), is attained only after complete surrender. _____ You give up this and that of ‘my’ possessions. If you give up ‘I’ instead, all are given up at a stroke. The very seed of possession is lost. Thus the evil is nipped in the bud or crushed in the germ itself. Dispassion (vairagya) must be very strong to do this. Eagerness to do it must be equal to that of a man kept under water trying to rise to the surface for his life. _____ …if you remember Bhagavan, you are prompted to do so by the Self. Is not grace already there? The very fact that you are possessed of the quest for the Self is a manifestation of the divine grace. _____ Aurobindo advises complete surrender. Let us do that first and await results. Learn what surrender is. It is to merge in the source of the ego. It is enough that one surrenders oneself. Surrender is to give oneself up to the original cause of one’s being. _____ Devotion is nothing more than knowing oneself. Surrender to the substratum of appearances unreservedly; then, the reality will be left over as the residue. Some other profound quotes from Maharshi: “The purpose of self-enquiry is to focus the entire mind at its source”. (p.48).”

No, but your sufferring would stop, thereby elimating the problem. No self, no problem. For example, you cannot stop all murder, but you can become so conscious that if you were murdered, it would not bother you. This happens everyday to millions of people in the world. Millions of peole suffer pain like you can not imagine. What then? You would suffer until you died. When sufferring gets severe enough it goes full circle into peace. With enough suffering the ego-mind will simply shut off and die, thereby ending the sufferring. Linear time is not infinite. All form, all experience will one day end. Death itself is total bliss. The act of dying, maybe not so much. Ego is an illusion. It is not infinite and nothing formed lasts forever. Ego cannot be immortal. Only the no-self is immortal, and it is bliss beyond anything you can imagine.

You can also work down from the top of the pyramid from the oneness of Divine Love which will heal the birth trauma, and the core limiting belief that “I am seperate from God”. Teal Swan starts from the bottom of the pyramid to reach Divine Love. But I find starting at Divine Love more effective. To surrender into your Heart completely and experience yourself as one with God. Surrendering your entire story to the Heart until there is no doubt left that you are this brilliant eternal light, that has always experienced bliss and peace.

Trip Report 2C-B 4-aco-dmt and weed OMG Infinite Possibilities First a quote by Albert Einstein "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." This quote tries to encapsulate my psychedelic trip into words, but it is not my experience. Let me just say that you will probably almost never read a trip report like this. This is a rare one IMO. So I took 16 mg of 2c-b, 21 mg of 4-aco-dmt. It started off pretty mundane I visited some places mentally had a few insights for my life, then about an hour and a half later I take 3 puffs of my marijuana pen/vaporizer. Then things take off. I start intensely seeing and visualizing the external world. Everything, all my thoughts became abstract art. I go outside and just stare at the trees mesmerized realizing it’s art all while this mystical feeling of wonder and mystery courses through my body and mind. I eventually realized that I was tapping into a field of infinite creativity as consciousness. Every thought, my whole being became art, an idea. I go back inside and I can visualize all my fears just fractaling out into the infinite potential and love. As this is happening all I can do is say over and over again. “Oh my God” over and over. I begin to realize that my mind is oscillating into different modes of thought that I can visualize almost all of experience as an ideas. I am experiencing extreme synesthesia (mixing of the senses) in the most mystical magical unthinkable way. Here is a collection of things I typed out while in this state. This is art of the mind. All doubts and fears just visually dropping in front of me. Infinite abstractions of the mind abstractly morphing into infinity I mastered art. My whole life became art in the most mystical abstract magical way one can imagine. I feel infinitely free in the abstract I don’t understand hell, because I am not hell, I am infinite. I’m living out every abstraction eternally I became art infinity fractaling out into infinity Ego death via abstract ideas and art. Ego and sense of I as a human is gone, caught up in infinite abstractions and ideas art My whole being is infinitely kaleidoscoping out into abstract infinity My life and being is infinite fractaling out into infinity. Feel invincible in the most abstract way. This doesn’t even make sense to Buddhism or meditation or any sort of spiritual ideas humans have about spirituality. This breaks all the rules of spirituality. Infinity caught up into fractals abstractions of the mind Art abstractly visualized into infinity. I am just playing with the top dogs now. Infinite hallucinations Infinite puzzles of consciousness. I feel like all the answers are here now. I am valuable This is good and bad. Everything and life fractalizing up into infinite abstract ideas of consciousness. Overall, I feel safe. Take my whole life and being then fractal it out into infinity in every possible way from Sunday to the most unimaginable place, in the most insane twisting turn of events in the most comedic fashion thinkable. All because there is no possible words for what I’m experiencing. This is the cosmic joke. Thus saith the lord, come and part take in the infinite mystery that awaits thee. Just don’t care about anything as a concept, I am one and the same, infinite consciousness laughing at myself in a cosmic fashion. This is it I did it and attained infinite bliss forever and ever in the abstract ideal sense. I can visualize all fears just going up into infinite abstractions of art. I feel safe in infinite abstractions of art, in the most unimaginable twist and turn of events. I don’t have a care in the world. I feel safe and infinite. I laugh at the cosmic game that of you humans are playing. I am God and I am at at the same time. I know I will laugh my ass off at what I am typing later. I have merged heaven and earth in this experience in the abstract. Anything is possible here in this space. It’s a safe place infinitely. Try to make sense of this, there is no way you can imagine it. I have walked on water. Come let’s see what you got. I am God. LOL every time I say I am God I realize that I am the infinite void of everything. I died to myself infinitely as the essence of an idea. (NOTE this is what I have to say when my mom walks in and I try to explain this.) Gee thanks mom for not understanding this beautiful abstraction I have become. LOL (Mom leaves) I can visualize my fears in the abstract. Something is infinitely gone in the abstract idea sense, that is how I feel right now. What is God or your idea of a God going to do about this there is no words for this, I am the mystery. Now I am starting to identify with earthy needs and wants. I feel like I can do anything fractaling out existence by thought and idea. Ideas and information last and evolve into the infinite fractal nature of existence, everything else you mortals do are just a distraction. I laugh at the idea of someone trying to understand this. They will say this or say that, but there is no words. I am beyond words, we are all beyond words. You humans try to understand your life through words, but words fail to project direct experience as conscious beings. I am all possibilities in one infinite picture. I am the beauty of all you can ever imagine. I am the infinite void of nothingness kaleidoscoping out into infinite void. I am just playing this game with you humans. People will be trying to understand what just happened to me this day for eons and I will laugh and say you silly you can’t understand, your using words. I am beyond words, consciousness is beyond words it must be experienced directly. I have become everything and nothing at the same time in the abstract ideal sense. I became God for an evening. What a thought. I will either talk about this to everyone or nobody. You can’t understand this. My thoughts are infinity free to move in any direction. All things are possible in this field. Everything is visually oscillating in waves of potential. I became the field of all possible thoughts, meaning I became the essence of all possible thoughts. Mystery Mystery Mystery Just stop typing I am beyond all things. Good night And that was it. To psychonauts this will likely be one of the most creative trip reports you’ll read, or to people of low consciousness this is utterly delusional. To those that are able to receive it I believe that I had an experience beyond a limited human experience. Overall I would say this trip was about helping me understand the infinite creative potential in all of us. And to help me break my mundane patters of everyday life.

Great video. My key takeaways... confirming some stuff that i've been feeling for some time now.... Nothing will ever "finally be fine." You are God, and God is on fire forever, in a hysterical clusterfudge, trying to find a way out, but never succeeding. Yeah, theres good stuff too, but the only thing that could ever truly satisfy is only good stuff and no bad stuff. There is no ultimate peace or eternal bliss. No state of rest and safety. One can "make peace with the lack of peace", but that's not very satisfying., not what we really want. The deeper the rabbit hole of inquiry and awareness goes, the more it seems like a rotten egg to me. "Oh, no wonder I'm playing the game of not being God... cuz being God sucks, and forgetting that for a while is the best i can hope for." Am I missing something? It almost seems like delusion and escapism and numbness are the ultimate, and they are closest we can get to freedom and peace. Living through every life... haha, yikes, no thanks. Reality seems like a cumbersome never-ending tv series of God shitting in his own mouth in a million different ways, with no option of doing anything else. Imprisoned on the great Ferris wheel, with no way of getting off. All the realization of Radical Oneness makes me wanna do is stop existing entirely.... Which, of course, does not seem to be an option. Sorry I don't mean to doomf*g all over everybody. But help a brother out... is there any good news to the realization of Oneness? A silver lining? I struggle to find something reassuring about Radical Oneness.

hey there, I'll be very short. ( ) excuse my french minded english. ( with my lack of skill, as a learned it only by copying pattern, never listen at school ) This topic will be egoic ( thanks for reading ) Fan of music since child, I find my life purpose while listening on weed music at a friend home. ( my all 3 best friends are currently into electronic music making ) only wanted to be a electronic musician since 3 years ( soon 4 ) ( I worked like a slave those last years, on me and my multi projects ) I was a bit in PTSD ( from using LSD and contemplating that reality was not a thing ( this is what I ve seen in the void of my mind ) that nothing matter .. I didn't find any real god, I was deluded that I will understand something, but only met my intuition overpowered even more than usual ( could see imagery pop in my mind while drawing ) " adhd " ( for real, I do not even want to believe I m this kind of shit, cause I hate 98% of internet who pretend to be this shit ) they are sad to me to read. They all sound sorry to tell that, but kind of stupid. ( not their wrong, they have been very mindfucked to believe they are "sick" ) old kid addicted to video games since my 6 years ( pokemon ) to 20/21 years ( droped it when I did weed ) ( league of legend ) ( was used to be "introvert" and akwardly very social ) making real weirdo jokes ( kind of rick & morty before it exist ) I could makes jokes about china eating africans to save the entire world. I love shatter reality and perspective since a child ( wasn't aware of doing a thing like that ) was just funny and natural to me to be a leo. I m INTP ( but mixed ENTP ) ( I did the test 4 times on my life and had 3 times INTP / 1 time ENTP ) ( those are models, not real fact, but they sound very accurate to me, against all others ( that I read ) I do not believe in IQ as something related at pure intelligence, it is a bit of something maybe.. I have between 135 & 150 ( not in term of intelligence, in term of IQ of course ) I never used any drug until 20 ( only video games addiction, not because I was ugly or hated at school ( I hated school because it was borring to death ) I was mostly seen as a beautiful guy/nice, so no one bothered me because I had a nice face ( was on the border to be hated like a nerd though, but was mostly talking to everyone and trying to be openminded to every idea, besides the day or I shoot out that football was for fucking chimp ( exactly haha ) before leo was in my reality ) I was a bit weirdo, crazy, and in my "mind" , because everything ultimately..borring to death. ( and I was good at lonely sport one of the best for my heretic body ) I m a hard alone worker ( learn, music, art, etc.. ) very curious; watch various "scientific/biologic/psychologic" content. ( but only since 4 years, since my life goal is being a god tier at music ) ( I do music, video making, recording, music engineering, basic web language understanding ) my hands are a bit everywhere except on girls. used alcohol a lot the first 2 years I discovered ( but never did alone my entire life ) ( at 20 ) because it was fun and "legal". then at my end 20y, some of my friend who likes music and movies makes me try weed. I buy a package the week after I try it ( it was not in a "night" context, only an afternoon, by listening music while high, it was like WOAAAAAAAAAAAAA ) Never stop using it more than 3 days for the last 3/4 years. ( probably put all my back monney in it, because it made me work for the first time of my life ) first thing : like music in 4k when you are used to 480 and you already loved it... ho man I fell in love, music and weed, it's infinity at hand, it's bliss. everyday it's bliss. I know this is stupid to be addicted to something like this, but who isn't addicted to something in life ? most people are addicted to having sex or masturbate. ( I do not have those addiction at all, even porn isn't a problem at all, for instance, it has been 4 days without any kind of thing, it doesn't even miss me ) but WEED MAN I started making electronic music like 6 month after i started ( and very religiously ). ( I learned english full while being high, I was mostly the worst piece of shit of my school for my entire school grades ) I even tell that I dedicate my life to the god of music in a very serious manner haha, so I worked so hard, my mind and ear was bleeding, it was even stupid of my part. I m still very healthy though, only crippling anxiety as a life style. weed remove all anxiety from me, absolutely all. I try the drug ritalin, but it was mostly shit fake meth in pack, makes me work and idiots completely crazy robot, makes me learn something about mind. ( it was my intent, I never really believed this shit would help me, it was to cope with the price of weed ( I wanted to have something equivalent and not pay for it ) what a shame.. ( cause in my country drug, are 100% free when prescribed ) I wanted to know what society was about to give me to makes me a good worker. holy shit, should have remain ignorant, but still, makes me grow a lot in the end ( if not makes me loose a cell of brain of both ) but brain doesn't exist but like leo said, all my induction was fucked to death. ( idea that pop by link of emotional pattern resolution, something like ) you're so tweaked, that your mind stop have insight, it just "do". without thinking really about the "how". ( it's the extreme of who I m ) ok now : I m almost 25, never worked in a real job ( only with dad for 3 month ) will never do it again. ( my dad can be real harsh and seriously close minded, I helped a bit with this but still ) ( only worked on my project since I started.. weed . ), ( but my country gives you 500€/month at 25 years. if you do not have a work ( yes for doing nothing ) it's social security ) why I start to want to rule the world when I take a puff ? ( I mean this is how I feel ) most people are not resonating the same on weed as me. I worked with my dad in physical job, wanted to kill me almost every day, put violence on me ( I do not live with him, only with my mother ) ( I m less heavy than a average girl 54kg and my 171 cm ) can't do physical shit, cause I had suicidal contemplation while doing this, turn me into a fucking nihilist, telling people that their life will end being a fucking slavery jokes ( this kind of thinking ) this is when I m out of weed, I always be a cynical, and a sceptical blabla. When I started weed, all my bad, all my shit was turning ON ! ok end of story, could write on my context for long, but I think you grasb the problem. I m fucking addicted to death, I can now do weed/learning/music for all day while being high ( in fact I can't work without being high, it's completely chaos ) I do not have motivation, I m easily distracted by anything ( in my mind , not reality ) I mean if reality is borring my mind start to create story on things or self reflect endlessly ( my natural states ). I see pattern in everything, relate to every idea, I can't "work" properly, it's when I smoke, I m "happy" stop being a piece of shit talker ( stop being cynical : try to help everyone make it in everything ) I learned electronic music ( more than 8000 hours of work ( only on music ) and others 3000 of hours : studying, reading, personnal work, reading book about business, art, etc.. ) I m still not at the lvl of selling anything. but when I don't have weed, I m lazy, procrastinating, playing EVEN video games, that I put out of my life when I started weed. ( completely stop my old addiction ) started to work and read a lot on weed. I think I would never learn patience without weed. and still it's annoying. when my mind creates all this thought only to entertain me/nerves me. I mean I wasn't aware as a kid of trolling people, only to excite me, I was doing this without even hate on people, conventional talk wasn't exciting enough. All my new real friends are Raves/Dj/drug addict ( mostly weed ). now I have 3 month to live without weed, because of monney, only this.. my mind start to creates pattern to get weed, it's very serious, I don't know how to control me, I could just contemplate suicide or tired, my lazyness, darkside thinking, anxiety, apathy. ok then when this is not happening, I m just wanting to procrastinate and never work on my project or on anything. Ok I can still love music, but man, I can't do music. it's crippling after 15 min of making music, I'll start feeling bad for a random though poping in. I never had real motivation before weed, I m still virgin at almost 25 ( not really making me feel great or bad, but maybe it's a thing, I don't know ) , even if I did LSD ( alone with self contemplation ), mushroom, mdma ( but fuck that shit, in the end, it's a happy void ), and a lot of others shits. Weed is my fuel and I m a car, for real, I m just living on the parking when I m out of weed :'( Now I m out of monney, should find a work/create a business to pay more weed ( like I did ) or should I really stop, and how to STOP and still makes music and hang a bit with my friend when I start to be crazy because of living the introvertness ? I would kill for a real solution, and not a joking solution, my life is so shitty without weed, and only monney stop me from buying. Should I create a side business on the internet ? now my account is 8€ currently, I still have 10€ of weed, and I m reflecting if I should suck dick or keep my dignity ( I m kind of joking ) no economy, no drive licence ( cost 2000€ to not get it ), but full of knowledge ! .. Please guys, don't tell me to accept Jesus I already accepted him in me, he talks to me in my sleep, tell me to call my weed dealer immediatly and trap him to stole his weed

Kundalini never ends, that simple. I'm constantly using it to rejuvenate myself, to stay in a state of bliss, to basically fo everything along with the Breath. Everybody is different, take this with a grain of salt. Go into your own Breath and discover this, anyone has the access. So the highest teacher you can shoot for if your Breath.

In pure bliss the multitasking is insane, one can be fully aware of the breath and the work he is doing while thinking about a very nice project in the future while you listen to a conversation and watch a youtube video per example hahaha. Similar to when you were 6 years old and you ran all the time and had a very fine attention and distraction at the same time

@Nahm Feels like we going in circles. See how difficult it is to tell anyone anything they dont already see? And if anyone is already 'there' as the truth, why do you even feel the need to? And by trying, you distance yourself from the bliss, the 'purer' form of truth(i don't know if we can make such a distinction, but pointing at the truth that rests completely in itself and as such is an expression of bliss), of there being absolutely no problem whatsoever, no need or want. How do you ever wish to help yourself if you constantly try? Leave yourself be, you are already it. @WaveInTheOcean How do you know that searching is a necessity to find enlightenment? Because Osho said so? Or your ego wants you to believe you have to keep it alive to kill it? Perhaps he is right. But he is saying that the obstacle is truly the search, right? And that the ego keeps itself alive, moment by moment, by desire, seeking, chasing? Perhaps the search that he points to as being necessary is the one leading you to realizing that searching is what keeps you from being where you wish to be? That you were there all along but just kept this idea alive that there was something more to it. I see you quote Alan Watts in the signature. In one of his talks, cannot remember which one doesnt really matter you probably know the one im talking about, he points towards how we are sort of standing in the way of the evolution of human consciousness by believing that enlightenment is something 'I' can bring about. Perhaps 'I' like to elevate the idea of enlightenment to being something hard to accomplish, such as to make me one hell of a guy for achieving it. Perhaps the idea having to do anything at all is what keeps us from realizing that nothing is really done by anything, that it just IS. If you came to the step of final surrender, and realized, that all your struggling, all your searching and fancy ideas, had been absolutely worthless, that you in fact know absolutely nothing and never had any control or any kind of insight to set you above anyone or anything else, what would you do? Would you allow yourself to die and let go of everything you hold, everything you believe to have achieved along the way? Or keep alive the idea that you have somehow found a higher truth that you must protect by keeping alive your tiring search. Any belief must go, or the ego keeps its hold. Perhaps this is too much to swallow at once, and therefore the search(or kind of search in reverse actually, since enlightenment has nothing to do with knowledge but quite the opposite, the dissolution of knowledge/belief) acts as a parachute keeping you from burning up along your way down. Perhaps it is necessary as you believe it to be. I don't know. But since no one is right and no one is wrong, any question is without any specific answer, i could not say I am right and you are wrong that would be kind of against the point im trying to make. I do wish, however, that you ponder about these things, look at it dont just discard it because you believe to know. You dont know, neither do I. For good measure, ill post this question once again, although it can be formulated in many ways, one of which you yourself posted (the quote with the teeth): Can truth be grasped by thought if thoughts arise as expressions of truth? Some of which could perhaps be: can a light shine upon itself? A hand grasp itself? Teeth bite themselves? Can I know myself? And so, If all is I, can I know anything at all?

Here it is: @AdamDiC and I are staying at a place called Pai in northern Thailand. We got many reccomendations from many people to try the 'mushroom shake' from this little jungle shack called "Valhalla." So we woke up early one morning, skipped breakfast and meditated for an hour before riding our bikes towards Valhalla. The shroom shake tasted like banana and cocoa and it's impossible to tell how many grams or what type of shrooms. However the guy said that it was enough for one person. I'm pretty sure they were not dried, but fresh. After downing the shake we went for a short walk where a nice dog followed us and we found a little sanctuary in the middle of the jungle just off the path as the shrooms started to come on. I set the intention to connect more with nature on this trip. There wasn't much nausea but I felt a strong body load and a little dizziness as I began to see the shroomy patterns on my hands and other surfaces. There was noticable speckles, lines, and patterns on my hands. A giggly feeling began to take place as I enjoyed the wavy vibe and began experiencing different types of energy and body sensations flowing through me. I surrendered my body to these sensations and allowed my arms and upper body to flow with the energy and it felt sublime. I noticed the beauty of the jungle plants, insects, birds, and salamanders that surrounded the hut. I could feel my conciousness expanding as I allowed my thoughts to flow freely. The shrooms began to take my thoughts into deeper and deeper territory until eventually I was having profound insights about the nature of existence every second. There was very little nausea at this point and I was mesmerized by the sheer beauty and vibrance of the trees and animals that danced in front of my eyes. I continued to have thoughts about the Garden of Eden and the Genesis story in the bible. I slowly began to understand how conciousness and what Lao Tzu calls "the ten thousand things" are related to each other and require each other to remain balanced like yin and yang. For some reason I equated the beauty and form of nature (and of all things) as feminine energy and conciousness as that masculine energy which allows all phenomena to exist. There cannot be anything without conciousness. Without the primordial knowing of awareness. I began to see myself as an instrument through which reality can observe and enjoy it's own beauty. I noticed a deep sameness in all things and also that all things are different. All the beautiful trees and insects and animals were different. But they were also all the same. My trip partner and I were constantly laughing and giggling and enjoying the awesome feeling of love and wonder that came with every mystical insight. I noticed how important my vipassana meditation practice is for allowing me to differentiate concept from actuality. I also noticed how important my philosophical understanding of certain metaphysical ideas was for helping me make sense of what was happening to my conciousness. I began to stand up and allowed the shrooms to move my body and mind any which way they liked and the surrender felt amazing. I also began to talk in a very rhythmic and poetic and also musical tone that both my trip partner and I were able to tap into at the same time. I would say shit like... "Sameness and difference... is the dance... that allows... shit to be." "Sameness... is always the case." "Tune into the music of now" "I AM an Instrument" There was one point where my trip partner and I looked at each other and we both realized at the same time. "I'm scared of you..." "I am you." And we both started dying of laughter as we enjoyed being each other. We were basically thinking the same thing and we were able to finish each other's thoughts. I kept saying: "It's all the same...but different." And it was very profound. We sat and danced and sang in our hut for about three hours as we continued to peak over and over again. It felt almost as if I was continually being separated from God and then reconnecting again with a beautiful "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH" And it appeared that this was one facet of the trip as my identity continued to expand and retract and expand and retract over and over again. The best way I can explain it was like fucking God in and out in and out over and over again and it was bliss. "The separateness creates (me and all things) and allows the oneness to be rediscovered. In this way, reality continues to fuck itself through me over and over and over" I was very calm and tranquil and blissful. I also moved very naturally, relaxed, slowly, and mindfully. I felt like an 80 year old tai chi master. After about four hours we started coming down and we noticed that the entire time we were sitting under a giant hornet's nest (LOL). Of course the giant hornets didnt want to interrupt our communion with God so they left us alone as we left them alone. The entire time the dog stayed with us and protected us in our vulnerable state. The come down was pleasant and we were very tired. I went for one of the most scenic walks of my entire life afterwards and then we stopped in on a beginner's yoga class. By that time the shrooms were almost completely out of our system. Words cannot describe how amazing and profound the peak was. The part cannot encapsulate the whole...it's so obvious. But I tried my best Hopefully y'all enjoyed hearing about my most enjoyable and profound trip thus far in my spiritual journey. Pictures

I didn´t write this text but I found it at the right time in my life and wanted to share it if someone else would need it. I feel there is quite a few questions about the dark night of the soul and such here so it might be interesting to someone. I don´t know if the author is enlightened or if this text is true. But it rings true in my ears at least. If Enlightenment Came with a Warning Label… So when you heard about spiritual awakening or enlightenment, what was the prize that you wanted in the end? What was the story that got you hooked? Perhaps it was something about experiencing endless bliss and joy, or maybe it was the end of suffering, or perhaps it was about experiencing constant Oneness with the Divine. Maybe it was the answer to all your life’s questions. It may be something else entirely, but whatever the case may be, I’m sure the bait was very shiny and attractive, yes? :lol It turns out that they don’t give you the full story when you start playing the game. What I’m about to share isn’t meant to discourage people on the path, but simply to help them be conscious if and when these things start occurring. These things don’t necessarily mean that something has gone wrong, although it may certainly seem that way. A helpful book to those who are experiencing the following symptoms is You’re Not Going Crazy… You’re Just Waking Up! Now, if spiritual awakening was to come with a series of warning labels, what would be printed on those labels? Warning: All your beloved attachments are going to be taken away from you. Everything you hold near and dear to your heart you must be completely and utterly willing to lose them. The more you hold onto them, the more you’ll suffer. It is only in the willingness to let go that find your freedom. By the way, letting go as a technique to trick the universe into granting your freedom, as in saying that you let go while peeking over your shoulder to see what’s to come, that doesn’t cut it. You can’t B.S. your way there. Believe me, I’ve tried… No one else has been able to pull that one off either. :lol Warning: You will experience dark nights of the soul. You will experience your entire world crumbling down. You will experience intense emotional roller coasters, to the point where you literally may feel like you’re going crazy. Warning: You must let go of all of your judgments and false sense of worth. You know all those accomplishments you’ve achieved in this lifetime? What do you brag about? You must let go of holding onto any of them as a way to enhance your self-worth and boost your sense of self. Your trophies and medals, while certainly valuable in their own right, they must lose their importance as something that makes you feel better or worthy. You are not valuable because of anything you have ever done or ever will do. You are valuable simply because you are. Because you exist. All the blows to your pride and are ways to help you let go of your false sense of worth and open up to the realization of your true worth. Warning: You must let go of all your ideas about God. In order to find God, you must quit telling yourself you already know God. All the ideas that you’ve grown up hearing, being taught, holding onto, or rejecting, all of them have to be let go of in order to be seen through. Warning: You will find yourself entering a place with no rules, no shoulds and shouldn’ts, no technique, no strategies, and no room for all of your egoic stuff and the energy of division. Warning: Your ego will throw fits. Your painbody will go crazy. Your buttons will get pushed. Your ego will throw out every trick in its book. When you start learning how to get past its tricks, it’ll become more sneaky and subtle. As you advance, your ego advances. It all happens to bring more awareness to the energies within, to help you let go of that which you previously have been unconscious to. Warning: The egoic dangers don’t end after awakening. In fact, as Adyashanti points out, the dangers after awakening get more dangerous and there’s much more of them. For example, one can settle in to seeing the Absolute as the only valid perspective and disregarding the world of the relative because it’s all “illusion.” This can lead to some very unconscious behavior and a letting go of changing that because “it doesn’t matter” and “there’s no one to change it.” Remember, the world is illusion, yes. Brahman alone is real, yes. BUT, the world IS Brahman. This is true non-duality: seeing the Reality in the so-called illusion as one. Warning: Just because you wake up, that doesn’t mean that everyone will love you and you’ll never have any struggles in life again. Just look at Jesus if you have any doubts about that one. Warning: You must come out of hiding. All the dark stuff within you that you haven’t been wanting to look at and be truthful about, it’ll all come up to the surface. All that stuff you hide from other people, the things you don’t want to show to others or to yourself, your inside will become your outside. There’s no hiding ANYTHING from anyone. It’s a deep deep level of vulnerability, sincerity, and self-honesty. Warning: All your life lessons will come to the surface. You’ll have to look at and accept everything. There’s nowhere to run and nowhere to go. You can only be here, now. There’s no one to become. Waking up isn’t a self-improvement course. Although it may appear this way on the surface, the point of waking up isn’t to become more spiritual, more loving, more enlightened, or more acceptable in the eyes of God. It’s about Self-realization, about realizing who and what you really are. You return back to your natural state and be who you really ARE, that which doesn’t have to be created, manifested, or maintained. Warning: The farther you go, the more painful it becomes to deviate from the Truth of your being. Think of it this way: If you walk into a tree at 2 mph, it’s no big deal. If you whack a tree while running as fast as you can, it’s gonna hurt. The deeper you go into Being, the more painful it is when you lie even just a little bit, hold back your Truth, don’t allow yourself to be who you are, resist what is, judge another, or in any way violate natural laws. You get a lot less slack. In Zen they call it walking the Razor’s Edge. Deviate even a little bit and you quickly get cut. Warning: You have to take complete and total responsibility for everything and everyone that shows up in your life. As your consciousness begins returning back to its natural state of timelessness, manifestation starts happening much more clearly and the link between inner thoughts and vibrations and outer manifestation becomes REALLY clear. No longer do you get the luxury of blaming others or judging others. Everything you see as a problem in others instantly gets turned around and becomes your problem. You’ll begin taking on a lot more pressure once everyone’s problems start to become yours. The world truly is your mirror. All the problems you really have with others really are problems you have within yourself. Get to work on surrender. It becomes a much more necessary skill later on. Warning: You must accept that you’ll never “get there,” that you’ll never “arrive.” You could spend an entire lifetime on this journey and never wake up. Indeed that has happened to many people. In fact, so long as you cling to your desire to get somewhere, you’ll never actually wake up to what’s already here. You must surrender completely your desire to succeed in your path of awakening. You must accept the fact that you may embark on the journey, never to actually get enlightened. Warning: You may feel very connected and One with Source/All That Is at times, and you will also experience yourself feeling totally disconnected, lost, confused, and cut off. It’s a horrible feeling. It’s the experience of pure separation, they very illusion we are trying to see beyond. Warning: Even if you get a glimpse of the Truth of your Being once or twice or a hundred times, the egoic structure may rebuild itself, leading to the experience of being unenlightened, or what we call a non-abiding awakening. Adyashanti reports that it usually takes people anywhere from 3-15 years for the momentum of awakening to settle in. Although it doesn’t happen in the future and can only happen in the now, don’t expect an overnight insta-fix. Warning: Just because you have a clear seeing of who you really are, that’s not the end of the journey. The first question is “Who Am I?” Once that’s discovered, it now becomes a matter of how what I AM manifests itself in this world. The second question upon realization is, “How then shall I live?” It’s not enough to have the inner realization. That realization must express itself out through the totality of your being for it to become a living realization. Warning: You must completely and utterly let go of control, of even controlling your survival, much less your destiny. You must be willing to die, to face the fear of death and surrender into it without attempting to stop it or control it in any way. The fear of death and the unknown become your friends. No longer will you be running from them. Warning: The more you begin living in the moment and letting go of the domination of your consciousness by your mind, you may begin experiencing memory loss. Whole blocks of memory will begin falling away. It’s not exactly like Alzehimer’s, but there very well may be some significant loss of short-term and/or long-term memory as you begin relying less upon memory and more upon a deeper intuitive knowingness. Warning: You may have intense kundalini awakenings to where it will feel like your entire nervous system is being overloaded. Many people have literally gone insane from this. It can be helpful to seek out some helpful resources including other people who have experienced similar symptoms, various practices you can do to work with the energies, and even a guru to help guide you safely through the process. Warning: You may experience cycles of confusion and clarity. In one moment you may be very wise, deep, loving, and compassionate, and in the next moment the cloudiness of the veil will return and you will no longer have a clue as to what’s going on. You may become sucked right back into your ego, experiencing your deepest and darkest fears. Warning: There is tremendous value in working with others, but you must learn to stand in your aloneness. Many of your relationships may change. Friends and family that have been close to you your whole life may be let go of. Some people will come, others will go. Some stay for the long haul. Which ones will stay and which ones will go? Who knows? The flow of the river will determine that more than any conscious decision. You can try to make it a conscious decision, but that will actually be more of a resistance to the flow and a desire to control than anything else. You don’t get to control the process. It happens. The you you think you are doesn’t make it happen. Warning: You don’t get anything as a result of awakening. There’s no thing you get as a prize such as a good feeling such as a constant never-ending wonderful enlightened experience or a boost to your self-esteem. (What self would we be talking about anyways who has a self-esteem?) You get nothing, but BOY what a nothing it is. By seeing that you ARE that nothingness, and that you ARE the entire universe arising from that nothingness, you realize that what you ARE is already more than anything that could ever be wanted, as Gangaji so beautifully puts it. Whew!! Now as I say all of this I’m laughing. In certain moments it can be a crazy, wild, intense, OMG-I’m-gonna-die experience, yes, particularly when you’re in the heat of the moment, but it’s like waking up from a dream at night… You recognize that it was all just a dream and it doesn’t feel like it was actually all that real. What you ARE is infinitely more real than anything that appears in this world. Those experiences will begin to feel so distant and faded, like a memory that you can only partially and vaguely remember, as if it happened to another person entirely in another far-off world. That said, it’s worth it. It’s all SO worth it. The direct realization of who and what you really are is SO worth all of the bumps and jolts that we experience along the way. Things to lighten up as you do. Not everyone will necessarily experience every single thing listed above. For some people, some experiences may be more profound than others. In fact, there are many other things that one may experience that haven’t been listed in this post. Either way, there is a book I’d HIGHLY recommend that people check out titled You’re Not Going Crazy… You’re Just Waking Up! by Michael Mirdad. You can read my full review of it here. For those of you who’ve also been walking the path for a little while now, what “warnings” would you give someone who’s getting started and doesn’t know what to expect? By: Ariel Bravy