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There are two facets of Mother Nature - the dependent and the inherent aspects. These two aspects would exist concurrently and can be illustrated in a mathematical equation as below: - [FACET 1] … (-2+2) + (-16+16) + (-22+22) + (-133+133) + (0) + (-54+54) …, etc = 0 [FACET 2] Key: - FACET 1 = dependent arising. = the existence of mind - that conjures up perceptions, conceptions, labels, names, descriptions, shapes, values, languages, etc. = the existence of rising and falling phenomena. = the existence of beginning and ending processes. = all subjects and objects are created i.e. inherent existence is devoid. = the emptiness could be realised in various stages. FACET 2 = inherent existence. = the absence of mind to conjure up perceptions, conceptions, labels, names, descriptions, shapes, values, languages, etc. = the absence of beginning and ending processes. = the absence of conditional phenomena. = nothing has ever been created or changed. = the Buddha nature. Zero (0) = intermediation = absence = emptiness but not nothingness, = a mathematical value intermediate between positive and negative values. = the absence of any or all units under consideration. ...(-2+2) + ... + (-133+133) ... = values of fluxes that are dependent arising. ... + (-2+2) + (-54+54) + ... = this arising, that arises. ... + (0) + ... = this ceasing, that ceases = a stage of enlightenment. = all dependent arising are completely blown-off or extinguished. = a stage of perfect intermediation = a stage of absence = a complete realisation of emptiness. ( .... ) = the law of kamma = the universal law of balancing. -2+2 or -133+133 = the law of attraction. From the above mathematical equation, one could summarise the conclusions as below: - 1. Mother Nature is a system of constant with a factor of intermediation or absence. It means that nature would orientate toward a state of balance, intermediation or absence at all times. 2. When things run off-balance or when one stirs up in the nature - be it in volitional or non-volitional sense, the natural law that maintains equilibrium would take its course to balance it in one way or another across time and the planes of existence. 3. Anything that inherently exists would not involve change and created objects cannot inherently exist since that would involve change. 4. The dependent nature is similar to the inherent nature. An absence of any or all units under consideration is not equivalent to nothingness of any or all units under consideration. A perfect intermediation would mean a comprehensive absence of any or all units under consideration. It is also known as a complete neutralisation of conditional phenomena. The two facets of Mother Nature would always exist because it is universal and does not take sides; it merely maintains the equilibrium in accordance with a system that runs on perpetuity. And every existence (sentient, non-sentient, or any material things) consists of energy and matter that would orientate toward a harmoniously balanced condition that is in accordance with the universal laws of nature. In other words, all things or matters would only exist in perpetual conditions when there is a balanced circumstance. This is because when there is a balanced circumstance, there is a chance for aggregation i.e. under a balanced phenomenon, one could witness shapes or forms arising; under an imbalanced phenomenon, one could witness no shapes or forms arising and the cycle of conditional phenomena continues repeatedly. In other words, balance does not mean a devoid of duality or multiplicity, just like emptiness does not amount to nothingness. One clear example that can exemplify the dependent nature would be the orientation of a compass – an instrument used to indicate directions. The needle of a compass is magnetised and would always point toward magnetic north under any varying circumstances. Moreover, the dependent nature of phenomena is a necessary prerequisite for energy or matter to exist; without it, the energy or matter would be impossible. In the material Universe, the elements of energy become the main source for the something that arises as in object; rather than the general perception of nothingness. Everything in the material Universe is made up of energy. Atoms and molecules are made up of energy. Our bodies, our clothes, our cars, our houses are all made up of energy but what makes them different is their vibration. Energy is always vibrating at a different frequency under the influence of conditional phenomena. Everything has its own vibrational frequency – our thoughts, our feelings, the rock, the table, the car, the animal, the plant, the tree, etc. Even colours are merely expressions of certain vibrational frequencies. These scenarios are guided by a system of universal law known as the law of vibration. In fact, the law of vibration serves as a foundation for the law of attraction. The law of attraction states that we attract what we are sending out i.e. like attracts like, unlike repels unlike. Hence, favourable energies attract favourable energies and unfavourable energies attract unfavourable energies. Human thoughts are cosmic waves of energy that penetrate all time and space and it is the most potent vibration that can attracts what is desired or wished for. In other words, all sentient beings are electro-magnetic beings with the subtle mind consciousness that acts as an antenna or a radar detector constantly attracting and magnetising vibrational frequencies. Human thoughts are frequencies to which other similar frequencies are constantly resonating. This resonance is the basis for a universal law – the law of attraction. At the end of the day, the material Universe is merely a momentary appearance conjured up from a continuum of orientating energy and matter in space under the influence of conditional phenomena. Just like ice, water and steam are different appearances deriving from the orientation of H2O properties under the influence of the external conditions. In other words, it is the orientation of H2O properties that has taken place to conjure up the momentary outcome of it. The dependent nature is also an inherent existence whereby it is unchanging when viewed externally, uncaused, indestructible and eternal. This can be depicted in the repeating cycle of birth, life, death and re-birth in Mother Nature.

Why nothingness would have a substance? You're not digging deeper and chipping nothingness at it's core, because it has no core. Nothingness is not a mental/visual imagination, it's the lack of everything we know and can imagine and conceptualize. The very fabric of reality is the opposite of nothing. That's what the entire scientific model/paradigm is operating on. If this is nothing then what is anything?

The 2 biggest challenges I faced during meditation is physical pain and sleepiness - until recently. I meditate in the cover of night, when everyone sleeps in the other rooms. Leaning my back on the chair's backrest will make sleepiness kick in, if I don't lean my back, physical pain will start to distract me. How I solved this? By slowly drinking 750 ml of very strong Black Tea 15 min before the practice, my meditation session effortlessly skyrocketed from 20 min to 120 min in one night! Here's how it went: 0-31 min - Concentration Meditation: (on breath): I noticed how the ego will use different kinds of distractions (positive, negative and neutral thoughts) to keep me in the Great Illusion, this made me slightly angry at the my ego's nature. I also felt waves of gratitude and slight euphoria wash over me at the end. short break- to pee and just stand up (it's extremely bad to sit for more then 30 min without standing up, read google) 35-67 min - Do Nothing: I managed to enter some deep "nothingness states" in short bursts, I wasn't sleeping nor "present". short break 70 min-102 min - Neti-Neti Self Inquiry: During this practice I noticed anger build up, as though the ego didn't want to acknowledge it doesn't exist. At the end of this practice I opened my eyes and looked at my hands: 1 sec they felt mine, the other sec they didn't feel mine, then again mine, not mine, mine, not mine. During this I "felt" my consciousness "quickly shift" from duality to non-duality. This lasted for about 30 sec. Mind Blowing! short break (just laid on the floor contemplated on the experience) 110-135 min - Concentration Meditation: Now I started to feel the effects of tea wear off (fuck), so sleepiness started to kick in. Still meditated though. I slept extremely deep. My dreams were unusually vivid and long. May Infinity Bless You!

And the once you achieve your dream of becoming a very famous celebrity you will realize that you will one day die and be forgotten to the sands of time. What then, when you realize that your celebrity status hasn't saved you from your own mortality? And all those beautiful, talented, ugly, and untalented people are all under ground in a hundred years in just the same way being eaten by ants and worms with flesh rotted away. None of them significant and none of them insignificant. You sound so much like me when I was a teenager. I was suffering under the delusions that you are until I had my experiences of ego transcendence. I wanted to be better than everyone else and I couldn't stand being looked over in a crowd. I wanted the world to stop once I died, and for the whole world to care about me. And I lived my entire life for the legacy that I would leave after I died. My life wasn't important to me at all... only my legacy. And I was so neurotic because of my megalomania. I carried the weight of the universe on my shoulders because of my delusions of grandeur. And even as I achieved the things that I wanted to achieve, there was only a brief high of achieving significance. Then, I would go seeking again for more and more significance, like a drug. And a drug that I had to find ways to get, otherwise I was afraid I might fade away into nothingness. I had to be the best and come off just a particular way. What I didn't realize is that I had created a prison for myself and I was wasting my life for an idea. And that idea was my self-concept that I wanted everyone to know about and for that self-concept to be eternal. But the self-concept was never real... it was just an idea. Is this idea of superiority worth sacrificing your entire being over? What if you just allowed yourself to be human? What monsters would attack you then? Would you realize that you're not immune from the reaper then?

Why don't you just try it? 5-meo that is. materialist paradigm doesn't make sense to me. How does the brain create consciousness, if the brain exists within consciousness? I don't really feel like a software program is analogous to consciousness, it's more analogues to your sensory experience whereas hardware is the physical components of those experiences. The sensory experience is not consciousness itself, although its made of consciousness, its happening within awareness/consciousness. I assume you confusing are consciousness with actual sensory information, but you gotta question where that sensory information is taking place... Even if you do believe in materialism, consider how everything comes from within you or within the brain. The brain is creating its sensory experience and the external world, but because that is literally grounded in nothing, its almost a circular experience and can be concluded as an illusion or dream because there's no ground! The materialist paradigm fails at conceptualizing consciousness because it is literally empty, boundless, "space". If you have a deep psychedelic experience, you will see the contents within consciousness "space" such as sensory experience is akin to an illusion, you will actually sense that nothingness within your sensory experience and come to realize it is as real as a dream experiences - because its all consciousness. hence why Leo says that reality = fantasy, Life = Death, because it actually infused within one another. Like yin-yang.

It's been a week and a half since my last entry and lots of things have changed. I have connected more with my heart, and I know feel a relaxing, soft and blissful energy there that has been a blessing, in that I now know that I can trust in this energy centre completely as the source of my own happiness. It's been quite a flow, things come and things go. I was lead to this website called https://www.alphaimaging.co.nz and have been reading passionately about the ascended masters, and how they can help me ascend right here and right now. I ordered a protection grid from them, and was guided into a deep realm of nothingness by the masters for the grid to be put in place. I have also been reading a lot about the masters on other websites, and feel very drawn to their teachings which all come down to awakening the heart/secret chamber of the heart/holy heart as they call it. My ascended master is Lord Lanto. You can go on the website and find yours, only if you are serious and with pure intentions. My practices have changed too. I am starting to learn Iyengar yoga and surya Namaskar after the massage I had at the Thai place. They said I was so tense, so I thought that this type of exercise would really help with that. I am also practicing the OM Mantra and the Ujjayi breathe to help amplify my heart-centred awareness. I also have been experimenting with solfeggio frequencies, particularly that channeled by Nicola Tesla here: https://aurareader.com/blog/the-flow-of-the-i-am and I created this for this process: https://mega.nz/#!ulIAAaoQ!bqhm-KIa9k-p0lAqSIIYulSB7XAL2eKsHMQV-IdBFcw. In addition I have started to do affirmations, where I say whatever comes to mind, and use it to surrender into the heart, and this creates heightened experiences of awareness and relaxation too. Other than that I have been getting outside more, and having more fresh air, just enjoying life. I have phases where I realise how this reality is grounded in nothingness, and that I am nothingness; and this gives me a taste of just how surrendered a master really is to the divine. Other times I feel extremely grateful for being alive, and this increases the more I do the practices above sincerely. I do have a few books on decrees to the cosmic masters of the universe, however, I only say them while I'm home alone for everyone would think I had lost the plot praying to Hercules and Ares and Jesus etc. One amazing thing I learnt is that our higher self is the ascended master version of ourself. This blew my mind. The higher self is what we will become yes, but that is an ascended master too? It's very interesting and helped me give even more attention to the current ascended masters who are more evolved than my own higher self. Truly they are beings that shine brighter than any star. Another is to take this journey slowly, to not rush into things, and do things moment by moment. I have a long life ahead, and so there is no rush to ascend. And ironically when I take importance off of ascension and evolution and just be happy in this moment, that is what evolves me. This is because any thought at all that I give attention is another vote for the lower self. I vote for love as best as I can. Blessings.

I am not enlightened and I haven't had not even one little awakening experience. But from all the videos / books / posts I've seen / read, my conceptual understanding of the nature of reality is: I. Reality is not physical, it's experiential. II. Experiences occur inside intelligent empty awareness (God / consciousness / nothingness). Nothingness is what creates experience and perceives it. III. Experiences are not separate from nothingness, they are made out of it. IV. There is only one thing that exists. All 'individual consciousnesses' are interconnected and inseparable. Reality is indivisible. So, that's my basic understanding of nonduality (please correct me if I'm wrong or missing something). I don't want to seem arrogant, but the reason I've created this thread is that I'm frustrated by seeing posts the authors of which (it seems to me) severely misunderstand non-duality (things like "Leo is a narcissistic psychopath, he thinks he is God!"). It seems like a very simple thing. Why do people so often misunderstand it, or maybe I misunderstand it myself?

Sadhguru Shoonya meditation is something to look up to if you want nothingness.

let yourself to do alot of monkeymind staff, just watch it and its absurdety. at the right moment you will go to nothingness

I've never experienced what Leo calls this "God-Mode". But to me, God experiences all the perspective at the same time. So, if I was truly experiencing a "God-Mode", I would not have any limited experience at all. That would be Nothingness without space and time. Maybe there is something I don't get here? when I get to this "God-Mode" I'll get it, but I don't think I'll be god. Otherwise, if I were truly god, I would not be aware of anything because I would be aware of everything at the same time. Any thoughts?

@Leo GuraHow does absolute infinity fit into all this? If all duality collapses you could say it’s nothing as a facet of reality. But then there is absolute infinity. Is absolute infinity saying everything is happening? Or is it saying that everything is happening and it’s all nothing is just the nothingness facet with absolute infinity being it’s own facet? Or is it saying all the something and all the nothing are happening? Or is it beyond all that? And is god absolute infinity? Or nothingness? Or is god just reality and these are all facets of god?

Just my two cents, but I would say that RELATIVELY speaking, there is nothing infinite. You couldn't point to an infinite object. But objectively speaking, going to the Absolute most fundamental nature of reality (like, wth is going on, how is there something rather than nothing), we could call it Infinite. It can't be pointed to, or grasped intellectually, or written down in a book, etc. As for the lower entropy thing, I have wanted to research this more. There is a christian and physicist Hugh Ross whom I believe has a similar viewpoint. Again, I think relatively speaking, you want to feel good and loving each other is the way to do that. But absolutely speaking, Reality is an infinite singularity of absolute nothingness that has Infinity couched within it, so to speak. And it can't be touched and nothing anyone seems to do will ever change that.... For example, humans would HATE for the world to end, and yet objectively speaking who's to say that what humans care about matters? It reminds me of how Jordan Peterson seems to think there is objective morality... yes certain behaviors and ethics are ingrained in our psychology from billions of years of evolution. But that's not objective. Objective is regardless of what any subjective view thinks.... So objectively any growth and entropy decrease and ultimate purpose / story to reality is already existent now. Perhaps from a relative, linear point of view we are destined to unite, link up the entire universe to form a single conscious system, all get enlightened etc. Though the popular theory in physics is heat death through increased entropy (til there is absolutely nothing happening in the universe.... perhaps a ripe condition for a new universe to emerge). Anyways, I disagree that there is nothing infinite. It makes less sense to me that there is some super large object that is just like "uh guess I exist now... let's go ahead and make stuff happen". It makes more sense that... well can't be put into words... but that Infinity necessarily exists. It couldn't have been any other way..... Of course whatever th is going on it's all pretty remarkable.

This is the way I see it from the standpoint of insight itself, which implies actual cessation of psychological(experience, knowledge, memory) as the i. Non-Fear I ? I Fear Duality between (Fear) and (non-fear)=fear=? ?=thought=(knowledge-memory-experience)TIME ?=self=(choice-the chooser) that chooses between the opposites. Duality-TIME. You the reader-observer will represent:(the whole action as (insight-truth). As you look at this moment of duality between the opposites up above, (You) are representing (the action of insight) that sees the whole of that movement of time-duality, which is one and the same movement of Truth-Love. ————————————————— From within the loop,(?),there is bondage of choice-time-(conditioned mind-self)........We do not see the whole of it, but instead are pursuing one side or the other of these opposites. And from that vantage point seems like the only available option. Because we are not at a far enough distance from that loop,(?), we are unable to see the whole of that loop. There must be freedom from that loop and all it implies for there to be this holistic insight of the loop. As long as fear determines action we remain in that reactive pattern of creating the opposite out of the its opposing opposite and choosing between those. Choice implies confusion, contradiction, and conflict, which breeds further fear......Example; we are unable to see that the world is round from down here on the ground. But far out in orbit it’s apparent that the world is spherical.⭕️. Same thing here. Being bound by the limited perspective (time-thought-self(chooser that chooses between), (dualistic perspective), (Time-fear), we cannot see the whole. So not seeing the truth of that fact holistically we continue to move within that same pattern of ? (fear-time). But from the outside looking in, or high above, FREEDOM NOT BOUND BY “LIMITED VANTAGE POINT”, we see the whole of choice-duality as being one unitary movement of time. And in that understanding-SEEING(perception-insight), there is whole action that ends that the perpetuation of that pattern? Again when we observe, the mind being dualistic, creates the opposite out of its own opposite, and non-fear is then born of fear and vice versa. So with the fact of fear, duality-thought, creates an abstraction of non-fear and calls it love. But it is not love.....Love-insight-truth has no opposite. In this action of WHOLE INSIGHT-TRUTH-LOVE are one and the same movement of that which is timeless. Non-causal Because to create an opposite out of its opposite implies time-causation. If there is causation-time, freedom is not, and if freedom is not, insight, love, truth are not. Once out of this limited mechanical and fragmented perception, which demands the ending of fear-time, there can be whole observation from above that will find out that time and all its implications are all a function, or form, or process, if I can use those words, of TRUTH-NOTHINGNESS. TRUTH, (The whole) CONTAINS TIMELESSNESS-TIME. DUALITY OR DISTINCTION IS PART OF THOUGHT-SELF-MIND Sorry if it’s confusing and nonsensical. Lol just woke up from long night crying toddler?

So many years in school, so many books to read, so much knowledge to learn. So many concepts, labels and facts that school gave us. But did school ever gave us a good valid pointer to the infinite consciousness? I don't remember I've ever heard my teachers point to the empty awareness that we are. Is nothingness some kind of secret or why don't our school ever mentioning it? After all, isn't our own consciousness the most mysterious thing is this whole universe? Why not start contemplating that in school, before we learn about all the stupid biased history that we are brainwashed with? Is it just the schools in my country that are like that, or have you noticed it as well?

if we would use the symbols like a mind map, ( i used to call something like that a cognitive map ) it would not be relevant to know what stage someone is solid in - it would only show what stages someone has to transcend specifically. for example politics - they could figure out where they are indoctrinated in and what they dream it to be. they could mirror that one to any other symbol in lines (maybe in drawing or some kind of stone or magnet etc) and see how that has effects on their body level how they behave at home etc. what that meant to them in their family and if they acted accordingly or if there are paradoxes. could also help to find out where they got certain beliefs from, how these beliefs are intertwined with other religions and find new elements for their beliefs. all to search for new information and then transcend it. it could be helpful especially for those who faced nothingness. it would be something like the life game. something like a thread to hold on, something to really put the belief/spirit in relation to everyday life.

@Leo Gura@Leo Gura I thought that everythingness = Nothingness. But something is just one perspective out of an infinity of perspectives right? I don't see God, I see a part of god. I see a part of who I am when I see a personal universe. If I would see god, I would see everything at the same time, which is the same as seing nothing at all. So if I experience something, I see only a part of the whole (I see something which is not nothing, which is not everything, which is not god) and I don't see how I could become Everything or "seeing" everything other than if my conscience disappears. From what I believe right now is that the only time I'm NON-DUAL is when I sleep without a dream. I will never be able to attain non-duality as a conscious human being, there will always be some sort of division, that's the job of my conscience to create division. I'll meditate on this and try 5-MEO-DMT if I manage to find some, not this easy to find! Have a good night man.

God is Nothingness. But what you're missing is that Nothingness is identical to Somethingness. Thus, everything you see before your eyes right now is God. Somethingness = Nothingness. God = Everything. This is the essence of nonduality. All distinctions collapse such that everything becomes Nothingness. Nothingness is NOT a blank void. Nothingness is precisely everything you see around you. You are holding Nothing as distinct from Something. Which is a duality. When that duality finally collapses, you will realize, "Oh shit! Everything was Nothing the whole time! There is no difference between existence and non-existence, life and death, reality and fantasy."

@Leo Gura Took me a minute or two to understand how "Everything i say is a lie" is a paradox. I get it now, it's a very good one I'll try to remember it Would Energy/Matter exists without the mind creating this paradox? I don't think so, if something makes 100% sense, no need to be any energy, time and space would disappear, so consciousness would also disappear. Nothingness would be. So when you say you become god when you are on a 5-MEO-DMT trip, I'm not sure I get you. In my mind, If you were truly god, you would not be aware of anything, there would not be any "observer" with his limited perspective to observe anything and report the trip to us later on. No? I think the closer to god you are is when you sleep without a dream, that's true death, true enlightenment if I can say. But you are right, I've got to experience awakening to know what it is.

A post I found while scrolling through Reddit. It is really comforting, to me. Is this related to self-actualizing? @Leo Gura: Would love your thoughts, if you get a free second. (Sorry if this has already been posted! and also for the length!) Enjoy! [Short Story] The Egg - By Andy Weir You were on your way home when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me. And that’s when you met me. “What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?” “You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words. “There was a… a truck and it was skidding…” “Yup,” I said. “I… I died?” “Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said. You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?” “More or less,” I said. “Are you god?” You asked. “Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.” “My kids… my wife,” you said. “What about them?” “Will they be all right?” “That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.” You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty. “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.” “Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?” “Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.” “Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,” “All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.” You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?” “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.” “So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.” “Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.” I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had. “You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.” “How many times have I been reincarnated, then?” “Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.” “Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?” “Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.” “Where you come from?” You said. “Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.” “Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.” “Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.” “So what’s the point of it all?” “Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?” “Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted. I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.” “You mean mankind? You want us to mature?” “No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.” “Just me? What about everyone else?” “There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.” You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…” “All you. Different incarnations of you.” “Wait. I’m everyone!?” “Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back. “I’m every human being who ever lived?” “Or who will ever live, yes.” “I’m Abraham Lincoln?” “And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added. “I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled. “And you’re the millions he killed.” “I’m Jesus?” “And you’re everyone who followed him.” You fell silent. “Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.” You thought for a long time. “Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?” “Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.” “Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?” “No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.” “So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…” “An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.” And I sent you on your way.

the mirror has two faces - the mirror in the neverending story is basically the mirror one has to go through to face nothingness. but the mirror humans mostly use in psychology stands for mirror neurons. basically they are responsible for empathy, something both have but use differently. women tend to mirror themselves more then men in others, that‘s why they build more flat hierarchical systems of emotional networks. while men tend to challenge themselves for status. (think that’s not something new) the mirror women have to go through to enlightenment therefore is drastically different than what men have to go through. women often have to realize how they are holding everything alive on a horizontal level and often not get acknowledged for it... kind of an old story. but their shadow often is fleeing or overly caring. i can’t tell a lot about how men do that or why men flee, but think it has to do also with hierarchical systems they would like to step out of.

Hi friends, my experience a few days ago. I took 200mg of MDMA and I felt my heart chakra open. I felt fear rising, I sat with it until it popped. It felt like i'd processed a block holding me back for ages. Then It felt like my field expanded very far around my body. My friend and I put on some music and it was just so beautiful. We took 2 tabs of LSD, 240ug 2 hours later. We joined hands and meditated and went into Samadhi. It was so beautiful. I felt our energies colliding and merging. The vibration was very fast and everything went white. We died together. He was me. I heard My friend say "be the hero of your story" (choose enlightenment), and I recall at some point the mind kicked back in. There was this little decision point "click" The heavenly space immediately started to contract and I had a sick feeling. I felt like I was going to hell. I saw my friends body distort like a devil. The terror and dread was so extreme. I realised I'd fucked up completely. I'd somehow made the choice to fall from grace, to fall from heaven. I realised that being an ego was being the devil, to separate from God. Eventually I said to him, It's my story, And I lifted myself out of sinking toward Hell. I lied down and felt all the layers of my Ego starting to reassert itself and torture me with Sin. I felt the shame and burden of all of humanity and I was everyone, and I hadn't been able to stay one with God. The layers haunted me as they started to zip back into my being, wrap me up, layer by layer. I felt the fear layer back in, that haunting experience merged with my Ego. My mind was so confused, I was sure that my psyche was far too scattered to ever reassemble the reality that I had once known. I was very surprised to find myself back in the reality that I had left. My intention was for emotional healing. To feel what there is to be felt. To process the feelings and release them for the well being of all. My intention was also to reconnect with God, to have that feeling that I am always supported. I was left feeling without any purpose again. Nihilistic , confused, felt like I'd fucked up my one chance for enlightenment. Now 2 days later I have the courage to be able to write this but my experience is more difficult to describe. There must be some growth that came out of that. I did not want to embark on that journey but I felt it was time as it had been a year since my last enlightenment experience where I'd broken through to Nothingness with my body intact and seen right through reality. The chakras had progressively unlocked over the course of the 6 hours or so. This time it was different because I'd already been processing being nothing for the last year, and I felt like I had a healthier ego out of it, and becoming far more aligned to my values , strengths and listening to intuition. I've made some massive changes, like leaving my job and starting a new career and about to travel India for a year. This time I died as an Ego and I was rebirthed. I realised why Indian culture they burn the Body at Varanasi to stop the Rebirth. It is literally being sent to Hell being reborn into an Ego. Still today life feels much better, different to yesterday. Guess I'm used to being SELFish again. I notice that I'm more in tune with Energy than before. I guess another learning is that I do create my reality but I'm not stuck in what I create, even if it's hellish. Enlightenment seems so far away, the direct experience is so challenging compared to conceptualization of it. Leo how can you possibly love being mind fucked?!

Hi Leo, My name is Goutam ,i have two questions to ask .One is related to spirituality and other historical. 1.I have been following your wonderful work for a while , and somehow your work has confused me in a way. If the whole purpose of life is to seek truth and get enlightened what role does daily activities (family,job ,business,whatever)play in this. Are they completely different or is there a way in which both can co exist.Or are you directly suggesting to give up everything and become a sage?If they can go together please suggest a way(daily acitivty filled with people and situations very stressful hampering one's self transcendence work)? 2.From the eastern culture that i come from Lord Krishna is said to be called as A god incarnation.Do you feel this nothingness also called as god takes form once in a while to establish dharma.I heard and read that what buddha had attained to Krishna(Lord Vishnu)was born into it.Would love to know your comments.

Dose: 15mg smoked Female, 28yo, have been actualizing for almost 3 years now, was religious most of my life, then atheist and now a believer of 5-meo hahaha, jokes aside, the experience happened two weeks ago and NO WORDS can describe it, what makes it very hard to write a trip report, but I do want to write because everything I’ve been seeking in the last years were all about this experience, the final destination, the void, the place we came from, the place we go when we die, the end of the world, the beginning of everything, god, the universe, Alah, Deus, higher power, the source, etc. “As above, so below, as within, so without” I smoked the substance and covered my mouth so the smoke couldn't come out, then every time my friend repeated, hold on! hold on! hold on! it was like I was passing a dimension, so many layers of it and so fast that it went on and on until my mind was dissolved into eventual nothingness I literally felt like a river of clear bright water was running through my body carrying all the blockages away, garbage, so many fucking things, social conditioning, traumas, beliefs, drama, so much shit, the more I relaxed and surrended to the experience the more my body was being cleaned, the more I let go the better I felt in my body, to the point my body dissolved into that nothingness and emptiness, and whenever I tried to make sense of the situation, whenever I tried to feel my body it was like I was having a full body orgasm, like every cell of my body was vibrating in that same warm frequency, wasn’t good, bad, strong or weak, it was pure perfection, I felt like my body was being embraced by that loving energy, a hug from god all I start saying from now on will for sure sound like a cult if you've never experienced it, and from this point I strangely started to understand how religion had began, how many people had experienced a glimpse of that energy, this is IT. Like my whole life, everything I’ve lived was just to bring me to that moment, that THING very very special, I’ve tried many psychedelics but this was by far my deepest and most important mystical experience, not close to any meditation or psychedelics I had tried, and I see how 5meo it's known to be the most powerful hallucinogen, actually not even hallucinogen cause it's really a sensation, no visuals or anything. I came back from the trip saying to my trip sitter (that btw is someone I met through the forum) eu, voce, voce, eu, that means I, you, you, me, in Portuguese and my first thought was to stop talking because the more I talked the more I separated myself from others, that oneness, interconnectedness was fading away, it was sad but at the same time I was glad to be back because having that feeling for a long period of time is for sure overwhelming and might be fucking hard, I understand how enlightenment comes with a lot of time, effort, meditation, stillness and understanding, my body and mind the way it's right now would not comport such thing, it's not an easy peasy thing, it's holiness. I apologize for my scarcity of words to describe the trip but most important is what stayed with me and below I try to explain the integration to normal life. Aftermath: My voice sounds much softer now, what made me realize how blocked I was before and how much more blocks can be released, I also was kind of addicted to weed, not addicted but I was smoking it very often, and like Leo says addictions are fear of emptiness, so I was smoking weed instead of facing my daily emptiness, after the trip I lost that necessity of smoking, not saying anything bad about weed, it’s an awesome tool when used properly, like psychedelics. How deep the rabbit hole goes: I have the feeling that I could’ve gone waaay waaaaay deeper, I know infinity has no depth but man, I wonder what this can do to me and my body if I do it often, like once per month, I’ve been preparing myself for this trip for over a year, I’ve snorted twice but didn’t breakthrough now I am very excited for what's to come. Theory DOES NOT DO justice: It’s crazy the amount of books I’ve read about 5meo, psychedelics, spirituality, psychology, personal development, science, and nothing, nothing, nothing I've read would prepare me for that, I had so much theory but 0 experience, I realize the trap now, all the theory if not applied is just mental masturbation, this was such a big thing for me, and I see the trap in religion too, how many people had experience 2% of this energy, this god, and created a whole spiritual ego, also given that 98% of those people have not experienced this oneness and claim the whole righteousness of religion just because of EGO, it's just crazy, my feeling right after the trip was to create a 5meo group haha but then I remembered that religion is this cult hahaah uhhhh so easy to join one of those groups, I'm not gonna go into the religion topic but all I can say is I feel them, I have much more compassion for religious people now, and I see how science is too limited to explain or even prove such thing, so in the religion vs science game, religion for sure embraces much much more of the mysterious, the unexplained unknown that is God. Many paths that end in the same place, many ways to reach the same goal, the trip brought me lots of understanding of how religion works and how people go so far because of it. Oneness: One thing is to say I’m one with all, we are all one, we are all connected and bla bla bla, another thing is to experience and really feel that interconectedness, I have this feeling now, whenever I look at someone, their suffering is my suffering, their happiness is my happiness, I AM them, they are a part of me, and this makes me feel an overload of compassion that I did not have before, we are all in the same roller coaster, all in this dream, every person with their difficulties, ours egos might be fighting but deep inside we are all gods experiencing itself subjectively in different bodies, also because I'm more aware of the role my ego plays I have a different perspective of my relation with people, when someone is being mean or evil, they are just showing me a little bit of what they are going through, what's going on within them, it's never about me like my ego likes to think. BIG BIG BIG joke: Until a couple days ago whenever my mind started fearing something or worrying I would burst laughing, it was kind of spontaneous and involuntary, god laughing through me about how small and insignificant my problems are close to HIM, I would just laugh out of sudden, super weird. It’s fucking crazy, it gave me a sense of “fuck everything” but in a good way, not in the I don’t care about anything, but in the sense of hurry up, live life, let go of fearing and enjoy life however you want, there is no right or wrong way to do so, a sense of freedom, so much freedom, extreme freedom, radical freedom, terrifying freedom, I realized that we are so encapsulated in our little lives, in our egos, in our little bubbles because in the end what we fear is THAT freedom, we don’t know what to do with so much freedom that we create barriers unconsciously not to experience all of it, we allow ourselves sometimes to feel it a little bit but the amount of freedom 5 meo showed me is extremely scary. Wow I also cry when I try to go back to the experience, I'm very sensitive now, also my meditation is much deeper, I sit for meditation and POW I'm right there into the void, swimming in the black hole, what enabled me to meditate even in the sauna, my body burns there for 20 or 30 minutes and my mind is far far away... very interesting. Relaxation: The biggest thing I've learned in the trip, the more I surrender to life (the same way I surrendered to the trip, where I had to let go of everything for the “substance” to work on me) it's just exactly the same with life, the more we relax and trust the universe (or god whatever you wanna call it) the more the energy of universe runs freely within us, and all the suffering we experience is a resistance for that energy, we want to do it our way, our ego wants it in its way, it’s that old saying, we get what we need out of life, not what we want, BUT every time (even if we consider our experiences as a bad) the universe is working to give us the best of the best, in order for us to grow and evolve, not as a person (ego) but as a group, as consciousness, as a whole, like Ram Dass says, the suffering comes from our attachment to what we think life should be, if we just relaxed life would be much much easier, I also thought about a video that he says we create THICK DRAMA out of nothing, I laughed hard, of how much drama I (the ego) is capable of creating, I SO understand that now, how rare that we exist, how beautiful life is, how magical everything can be if we just let go of everything we think we know and opened ourselves up to what the universe has to offer, but our ego wants to know everything, wants to pretend it knows, wants to find a logic, wants to find the right way to live life, wants to make sense of the unkown, wants to live like one has everything figured out hahaha we literally know NOTHING. State of Not Knowing: “Unaccustomed as we are to not knowing, we don’t understand the freedom that awaits us when we experience life beyond our beliefs.” Quote from The book of not knowing, Peter Ralston, that’s what enlightenment is, insanity, accepting uncertainty, so hard for the ego but liberating for the soul. Wow, I thought I could not write but man I could spend hours talking about IT, I’m super happy and feel lucky AF to have had this experienced, I can’t believe we found a toad that enables us to experience such thing, a TOAD, haha of course a toad, it's like a cartoon, we are living the fucking dream, I see all differently now, the sky is just a big screen we watch different channels every day, a dog barked in the neighbor’s house right after the trip, and the fucking dog was literally inside my head, I was creating the dog barking, the dog and everything around me, how fantastic and fascinating creatures we human beings are. PS: I’m deeply deeply deeply thankful for you Leo, I met so many amazing people here, actualizers are my faaaavorite Thank you if you made it to the end.. Till next time Miss Nobody "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!" fucking Truman show..

@tsuki Yeah, the term short-circuiting describes this perfectly, I think. It's time to revise my very first post in this journal: We can surrender with humbleness and bravery! I keep observing myself and I realize in so many occasions how much my subconscious mind was brainwashed in my childhood and through society. I keep observing myself and I realize how brave I can be. I keep observing myself and I realize my infinite potential more and more. I keep observing and I realize that there are more people who are realizing this just like me. I keep observing and I realize that I don’t need to cling to my story or identity. I keep observing and I surrender with humbleness. I keep observing and realize that everything I just wrote above are just words = letters = language constructs = a thought story that is equal to nothingness. I keep observing and I realize just how much I’m still stuck in concepts of “trying to understand”. I keep observing and I realize that there is no infinite potential, but rather orbitals of higher possibilities. I keep observing and I realize that everything I have learned does actually matter! I keep observing and I realize how much our story and identity do actually matter. I keep observing and I realize that if I keep observing I can integrate what I have learned. I keep observing and I realize that I keep observing. The loop closed with some potential to grow bigger, but right now I’m totally confused and exhausted by the massive stillness I confronted. How much further does this rabbit hole go? And then what? (…. totally reorganizing ….)

I did my kriya practice during the eclipse and I think I experienced a different quality of meditation. Quality of nothingness. But this could've been psychological, I'm not sure. Usually the quality of my kriya is joy and grace but today was emptiness very dominant quality.