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let yourself to do alot of monkeymind staff, just watch it and its absurdety. at the right moment you will go to nothingness

@Leo GuraHow does absolute infinity fit into all this? If all duality collapses you could say it’s nothing as a facet of reality. But then there is absolute infinity. Is absolute infinity saying everything is happening? Or is it saying that everything is happening and it’s all nothing is just the nothingness facet with absolute infinity being it’s own facet? Or is it saying all the something and all the nothing are happening? Or is it beyond all that? And is god absolute infinity? Or nothingness? Or is god just reality and these are all facets of god?

Just my two cents, but I would say that RELATIVELY speaking, there is nothing infinite. You couldn't point to an infinite object. But objectively speaking, going to the Absolute most fundamental nature of reality (like, wth is going on, how is there something rather than nothing), we could call it Infinite. It can't be pointed to, or grasped intellectually, or written down in a book, etc. As for the lower entropy thing, I have wanted to research this more. There is a christian and physicist Hugh Ross whom I believe has a similar viewpoint. Again, I think relatively speaking, you want to feel good and loving each other is the way to do that. But absolutely speaking, Reality is an infinite singularity of absolute nothingness that has Infinity couched within it, so to speak. And it can't be touched and nothing anyone seems to do will ever change that.... For example, humans would HATE for the world to end, and yet objectively speaking who's to say that what humans care about matters? It reminds me of how Jordan Peterson seems to think there is objective morality... yes certain behaviors and ethics are ingrained in our psychology from billions of years of evolution. But that's not objective. Objective is regardless of what any subjective view thinks.... So objectively any growth and entropy decrease and ultimate purpose / story to reality is already existent now. Perhaps from a relative, linear point of view we are destined to unite, link up the entire universe to form a single conscious system, all get enlightened etc. Though the popular theory in physics is heat death through increased entropy (til there is absolutely nothing happening in the universe.... perhaps a ripe condition for a new universe to emerge). Anyways, I disagree that there is nothing infinite. It makes less sense to me that there is some super large object that is just like "uh guess I exist now... let's go ahead and make stuff happen". It makes more sense that... well can't be put into words... but that Infinity necessarily exists. It couldn't have been any other way..... Of course whatever th is going on it's all pretty remarkable.

This is the way I see it from the standpoint of insight itself, which implies actual cessation of psychological(experience, knowledge, memory) as the i. Non-Fear I ? I Fear Duality between (Fear) and (non-fear)=fear=? ?=thought=(knowledge-memory-experience)TIME ?=self=(choice-the chooser) that chooses between the opposites. Duality-TIME. You the reader-observer will represent:(the whole action as (insight-truth). As you look at this moment of duality between the opposites up above, (You) are representing (the action of insight) that sees the whole of that movement of time-duality, which is one and the same movement of Truth-Love. ————————————————— From within the loop,(?),there is bondage of choice-time-(conditioned mind-self)........We do not see the whole of it, but instead are pursuing one side or the other of these opposites. And from that vantage point seems like the only available option. Because we are not at a far enough distance from that loop,(?), we are unable to see the whole of that loop. There must be freedom from that loop and all it implies for there to be this holistic insight of the loop. As long as fear determines action we remain in that reactive pattern of creating the opposite out of the its opposing opposite and choosing between those. Choice implies confusion, contradiction, and conflict, which breeds further fear......Example; we are unable to see that the world is round from down here on the ground. But far out in orbit it’s apparent that the world is spherical.⭕️. Same thing here. Being bound by the limited perspective (time-thought-self(chooser that chooses between), (dualistic perspective), (Time-fear), we cannot see the whole. So not seeing the truth of that fact holistically we continue to move within that same pattern of ? (fear-time). But from the outside looking in, or high above, FREEDOM NOT BOUND BY “LIMITED VANTAGE POINT”, we see the whole of choice-duality as being one unitary movement of time. And in that understanding-SEEING(perception-insight), there is whole action that ends that the perpetuation of that pattern? Again when we observe, the mind being dualistic, creates the opposite out of its own opposite, and non-fear is then born of fear and vice versa. So with the fact of fear, duality-thought, creates an abstraction of non-fear and calls it love. But it is not love.....Love-insight-truth has no opposite. In this action of WHOLE INSIGHT-TRUTH-LOVE are one and the same movement of that which is timeless. Non-causal Because to create an opposite out of its opposite implies time-causation. If there is causation-time, freedom is not, and if freedom is not, insight, love, truth are not. Once out of this limited mechanical and fragmented perception, which demands the ending of fear-time, there can be whole observation from above that will find out that time and all its implications are all a function, or form, or process, if I can use those words, of TRUTH-NOTHINGNESS. TRUTH, (The whole) CONTAINS TIMELESSNESS-TIME. DUALITY OR DISTINCTION IS PART OF THOUGHT-SELF-MIND Sorry if it’s confusing and nonsensical. Lol just woke up from long night crying toddler?

if we would use the symbols like a mind map, ( i used to call something like that a cognitive map ) it would not be relevant to know what stage someone is solid in - it would only show what stages someone has to transcend specifically. for example politics - they could figure out where they are indoctrinated in and what they dream it to be. they could mirror that one to any other symbol in lines (maybe in drawing or some kind of stone or magnet etc) and see how that has effects on their body level how they behave at home etc. what that meant to them in their family and if they acted accordingly or if there are paradoxes. could also help to find out where they got certain beliefs from, how these beliefs are intertwined with other religions and find new elements for their beliefs. all to search for new information and then transcend it. it could be helpful especially for those who faced nothingness. it would be something like the life game. something like a thread to hold on, something to really put the belief/spirit in relation to everyday life.

@Leo Gura@Leo Gura I thought that everythingness = Nothingness. But something is just one perspective out of an infinity of perspectives right? I don't see God, I see a part of god. I see a part of who I am when I see a personal universe. If I would see god, I would see everything at the same time, which is the same as seing nothing at all. So if I experience something, I see only a part of the whole (I see something which is not nothing, which is not everything, which is not god) and I don't see how I could become Everything or "seeing" everything other than if my conscience disappears. From what I believe right now is that the only time I'm NON-DUAL is when I sleep without a dream. I will never be able to attain non-duality as a conscious human being, there will always be some sort of division, that's the job of my conscience to create division. I'll meditate on this and try 5-MEO-DMT if I manage to find some, not this easy to find! Have a good night man.

God is Nothingness. But what you're missing is that Nothingness is identical to Somethingness. Thus, everything you see before your eyes right now is God. Somethingness = Nothingness. God = Everything. This is the essence of nonduality. All distinctions collapse such that everything becomes Nothingness. Nothingness is NOT a blank void. Nothingness is precisely everything you see around you. You are holding Nothing as distinct from Something. Which is a duality. When that duality finally collapses, you will realize, "Oh shit! Everything was Nothing the whole time! There is no difference between existence and non-existence, life and death, reality and fantasy."

So many years in school, so many books to read, so much knowledge to learn. So many concepts, labels and facts that school gave us. But did school ever gave us a good valid pointer to the infinite consciousness? I don't remember I've ever heard my teachers point to the empty awareness that we are. Is nothingness some kind of secret or why don't our school ever mentioning it? After all, isn't our own consciousness the most mysterious thing is this whole universe? Why not start contemplating that in school, before we learn about all the stupid biased history that we are brainwashed with? Is it just the schools in my country that are like that, or have you noticed it as well?

I've never experienced what Leo calls this "God-Mode". But to me, God experiences all the perspective at the same time. So, if I was truly experiencing a "God-Mode", I would not have any limited experience at all. That would be Nothingness without space and time. Maybe there is something I don't get here? when I get to this "God-Mode" I'll get it, but I don't think I'll be god. Otherwise, if I were truly god, I would not be aware of anything because I would be aware of everything at the same time. Any thoughts?

@Leo Gura Took me a minute or two to understand how "Everything i say is a lie" is a paradox. I get it now, it's a very good one I'll try to remember it Would Energy/Matter exists without the mind creating this paradox? I don't think so, if something makes 100% sense, no need to be any energy, time and space would disappear, so consciousness would also disappear. Nothingness would be. So when you say you become god when you are on a 5-MEO-DMT trip, I'm not sure I get you. In my mind, If you were truly god, you would not be aware of anything, there would not be any "observer" with his limited perspective to observe anything and report the trip to us later on. No? I think the closer to god you are is when you sleep without a dream, that's true death, true enlightenment if I can say. But you are right, I've got to experience awakening to know what it is.

About a month ago on the 3rd day of a meditation retreat I became aware of that my present sensations are more fundamental to reality than the language that is layered on top of it. So all meaning, values and morals are completely groundless. I red the book 'Neti Neti Meditation' by Andre Doshim Halaw later that day and it talked about non-duality or suchness which seems to be what I became aware of. He also said that there is this nothingness that is deeper then suchness. In one of Leos videos he said that non-duality is couched in nothingness. Yet sometimes when people talk about enlightenment they sometimes seem to talk about non-duality and nothingness at the same time without making a clear distinction between the two, which is very confusing to me. Isn't enlightenment the realization of nothingness? What does non-duality have to do with that? I got the insight while doing the do nothing/letting go technique. If i want to pursue enlightenment should i try to get back to that state, doing the do nothing technique or is that only going to take me to non-duality and not nothingness? Or is starting a self inquiry practice a better alternative? Even tho I've gotten really good at doing nothing and I've only done self inquiry a handful of times. Any information, book tips or resources related to the topic would be greatly appreciated.

the mirror has two faces - the mirror in the neverending story is basically the mirror one has to go through to face nothingness. but the mirror humans mostly use in psychology stands for mirror neurons. basically they are responsible for empathy, something both have but use differently. women tend to mirror themselves more then men in others, that‘s why they build more flat hierarchical systems of emotional networks. while men tend to challenge themselves for status. (think that’s not something new) the mirror women have to go through to enlightenment therefore is drastically different than what men have to go through. women often have to realize how they are holding everything alive on a horizontal level and often not get acknowledged for it... kind of an old story. but their shadow often is fleeing or overly caring. i can’t tell a lot about how men do that or why men flee, but think it has to do also with hierarchical systems they would like to step out of.

Hi friends, my experience a few days ago. I took 200mg of MDMA and I felt my heart chakra open. I felt fear rising, I sat with it until it popped. It felt like i'd processed a block holding me back for ages. Then It felt like my field expanded very far around my body. My friend and I put on some music and it was just so beautiful. We took 2 tabs of LSD, 240ug 2 hours later. We joined hands and meditated and went into Samadhi. It was so beautiful. I felt our energies colliding and merging. The vibration was very fast and everything went white. We died together. He was me. I heard My friend say "be the hero of your story" (choose enlightenment), and I recall at some point the mind kicked back in. There was this little decision point "click" The heavenly space immediately started to contract and I had a sick feeling. I felt like I was going to hell. I saw my friends body distort like a devil. The terror and dread was so extreme. I realised I'd fucked up completely. I'd somehow made the choice to fall from grace, to fall from heaven. I realised that being an ego was being the devil, to separate from God. Eventually I said to him, It's my story, And I lifted myself out of sinking toward Hell. I lied down and felt all the layers of my Ego starting to reassert itself and torture me with Sin. I felt the shame and burden of all of humanity and I was everyone, and I hadn't been able to stay one with God. The layers haunted me as they started to zip back into my being, wrap me up, layer by layer. I felt the fear layer back in, that haunting experience merged with my Ego. My mind was so confused, I was sure that my psyche was far too scattered to ever reassemble the reality that I had once known. I was very surprised to find myself back in the reality that I had left. My intention was for emotional healing. To feel what there is to be felt. To process the feelings and release them for the well being of all. My intention was also to reconnect with God, to have that feeling that I am always supported. I was left feeling without any purpose again. Nihilistic , confused, felt like I'd fucked up my one chance for enlightenment. Now 2 days later I have the courage to be able to write this but my experience is more difficult to describe. There must be some growth that came out of that. I did not want to embark on that journey but I felt it was time as it had been a year since my last enlightenment experience where I'd broken through to Nothingness with my body intact and seen right through reality. The chakras had progressively unlocked over the course of the 6 hours or so. This time it was different because I'd already been processing being nothing for the last year, and I felt like I had a healthier ego out of it, and becoming far more aligned to my values , strengths and listening to intuition. I've made some massive changes, like leaving my job and starting a new career and about to travel India for a year. This time I died as an Ego and I was rebirthed. I realised why Indian culture they burn the Body at Varanasi to stop the Rebirth. It is literally being sent to Hell being reborn into an Ego. Still today life feels much better, different to yesterday. Guess I'm used to being SELFish again. I notice that I'm more in tune with Energy than before. I guess another learning is that I do create my reality but I'm not stuck in what I create, even if it's hellish. Enlightenment seems so far away, the direct experience is so challenging compared to conceptualization of it. Leo how can you possibly love being mind fucked?!

A post I found while scrolling through Reddit. It is really comforting, to me. Is this related to self-actualizing? @Leo Gura: Would love your thoughts, if you get a free second. (Sorry if this has already been posted! and also for the length!) Enjoy! [Short Story] The Egg - By Andy Weir You were on your way home when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me. And that’s when you met me. “What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?” “You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words. “There was a… a truck and it was skidding…” “Yup,” I said. “I… I died?” “Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said. You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?” “More or less,” I said. “Are you god?” You asked. “Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.” “My kids… my wife,” you said. “What about them?” “Will they be all right?” “That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.” You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty. “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.” “Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?” “Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.” “Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,” “All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.” You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?” “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.” “So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.” “Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.” I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had. “You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.” “How many times have I been reincarnated, then?” “Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.” “Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?” “Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.” “Where you come from?” You said. “Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.” “Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.” “Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.” “So what’s the point of it all?” “Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?” “Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted. I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.” “You mean mankind? You want us to mature?” “No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.” “Just me? What about everyone else?” “There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.” You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…” “All you. Different incarnations of you.” “Wait. I’m everyone!?” “Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back. “I’m every human being who ever lived?” “Or who will ever live, yes.” “I’m Abraham Lincoln?” “And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added. “I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled. “And you’re the millions he killed.” “I’m Jesus?” “And you’re everyone who followed him.” You fell silent. “Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.” You thought for a long time. “Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?” “Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.” “Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?” “No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.” “So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…” “An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.” And I sent you on your way.

Hi Leo, My name is Goutam ,i have two questions to ask .One is related to spirituality and other historical. 1.I have been following your wonderful work for a while , and somehow your work has confused me in a way. If the whole purpose of life is to seek truth and get enlightened what role does daily activities (family,job ,business,whatever)play in this. Are they completely different or is there a way in which both can co exist.Or are you directly suggesting to give up everything and become a sage?If they can go together please suggest a way(daily acitivty filled with people and situations very stressful hampering one's self transcendence work)? 2.From the eastern culture that i come from Lord Krishna is said to be called as A god incarnation.Do you feel this nothingness also called as god takes form once in a while to establish dharma.I heard and read that what buddha had attained to Krishna(Lord Vishnu)was born into it.Would love to know your comments.

@tsuki Yeah, the term short-circuiting describes this perfectly, I think. It's time to revise my very first post in this journal: We can surrender with humbleness and bravery! I keep observing myself and I realize in so many occasions how much my subconscious mind was brainwashed in my childhood and through society. I keep observing myself and I realize how brave I can be. I keep observing myself and I realize my infinite potential more and more. I keep observing and I realize that there are more people who are realizing this just like me. I keep observing and I realize that I don’t need to cling to my story or identity. I keep observing and I surrender with humbleness. I keep observing and realize that everything I just wrote above are just words = letters = language constructs = a thought story that is equal to nothingness. I keep observing and I realize just how much I’m still stuck in concepts of “trying to understand”. I keep observing and I realize that there is no infinite potential, but rather orbitals of higher possibilities. I keep observing and I realize that everything I have learned does actually matter! I keep observing and I realize how much our story and identity do actually matter. I keep observing and I realize that if I keep observing I can integrate what I have learned. I keep observing and I realize that I keep observing. The loop closed with some potential to grow bigger, but right now I’m totally confused and exhausted by the massive stillness I confronted. How much further does this rabbit hole go? And then what? (…. totally reorganizing ….)

Dose: 15mg smoked Female, 28yo, have been actualizing for almost 3 years now, was religious most of my life, then atheist and now a believer of 5-meo hahaha, jokes aside, the experience happened two weeks ago and NO WORDS can describe it, what makes it very hard to write a trip report, but I do want to write because everything I’ve been seeking in the last years were all about this experience, the final destination, the void, the place we came from, the place we go when we die, the end of the world, the beginning of everything, god, the universe, Alah, Deus, higher power, the source, etc. “As above, so below, as within, so without” I smoked the substance and covered my mouth so the smoke couldn't come out, then every time my friend repeated, hold on! hold on! hold on! it was like I was passing a dimension, so many layers of it and so fast that it went on and on until my mind was dissolved into eventual nothingness I literally felt like a river of clear bright water was running through my body carrying all the blockages away, garbage, so many fucking things, social conditioning, traumas, beliefs, drama, so much shit, the more I relaxed and surrended to the experience the more my body was being cleaned, the more I let go the better I felt in my body, to the point my body dissolved into that nothingness and emptiness, and whenever I tried to make sense of the situation, whenever I tried to feel my body it was like I was having a full body orgasm, like every cell of my body was vibrating in that same warm frequency, wasn’t good, bad, strong or weak, it was pure perfection, I felt like my body was being embraced by that loving energy, a hug from god all I start saying from now on will for sure sound like a cult if you've never experienced it, and from this point I strangely started to understand how religion had began, how many people had experienced a glimpse of that energy, this is IT. Like my whole life, everything I’ve lived was just to bring me to that moment, that THING very very special, I’ve tried many psychedelics but this was by far my deepest and most important mystical experience, not close to any meditation or psychedelics I had tried, and I see how 5meo it's known to be the most powerful hallucinogen, actually not even hallucinogen cause it's really a sensation, no visuals or anything. I came back from the trip saying to my trip sitter (that btw is someone I met through the forum) eu, voce, voce, eu, that means I, you, you, me, in Portuguese and my first thought was to stop talking because the more I talked the more I separated myself from others, that oneness, interconnectedness was fading away, it was sad but at the same time I was glad to be back because having that feeling for a long period of time is for sure overwhelming and might be fucking hard, I understand how enlightenment comes with a lot of time, effort, meditation, stillness and understanding, my body and mind the way it's right now would not comport such thing, it's not an easy peasy thing, it's holiness. I apologize for my scarcity of words to describe the trip but most important is what stayed with me and below I try to explain the integration to normal life. Aftermath: My voice sounds much softer now, what made me realize how blocked I was before and how much more blocks can be released, I also was kind of addicted to weed, not addicted but I was smoking it very often, and like Leo says addictions are fear of emptiness, so I was smoking weed instead of facing my daily emptiness, after the trip I lost that necessity of smoking, not saying anything bad about weed, it’s an awesome tool when used properly, like psychedelics. How deep the rabbit hole goes: I have the feeling that I could’ve gone waaay waaaaay deeper, I know infinity has no depth but man, I wonder what this can do to me and my body if I do it often, like once per month, I’ve been preparing myself for this trip for over a year, I’ve snorted twice but didn’t breakthrough now I am very excited for what's to come. Theory DOES NOT DO justice: It’s crazy the amount of books I’ve read about 5meo, psychedelics, spirituality, psychology, personal development, science, and nothing, nothing, nothing I've read would prepare me for that, I had so much theory but 0 experience, I realize the trap now, all the theory if not applied is just mental masturbation, this was such a big thing for me, and I see the trap in religion too, how many people had experience 2% of this energy, this god, and created a whole spiritual ego, also given that 98% of those people have not experienced this oneness and claim the whole righteousness of religion just because of EGO, it's just crazy, my feeling right after the trip was to create a 5meo group haha but then I remembered that religion is this cult hahaah uhhhh so easy to join one of those groups, I'm not gonna go into the religion topic but all I can say is I feel them, I have much more compassion for religious people now, and I see how science is too limited to explain or even prove such thing, so in the religion vs science game, religion for sure embraces much much more of the mysterious, the unexplained unknown that is God. Many paths that end in the same place, many ways to reach the same goal, the trip brought me lots of understanding of how religion works and how people go so far because of it. Oneness: One thing is to say I’m one with all, we are all one, we are all connected and bla bla bla, another thing is to experience and really feel that interconectedness, I have this feeling now, whenever I look at someone, their suffering is my suffering, their happiness is my happiness, I AM them, they are a part of me, and this makes me feel an overload of compassion that I did not have before, we are all in the same roller coaster, all in this dream, every person with their difficulties, ours egos might be fighting but deep inside we are all gods experiencing itself subjectively in different bodies, also because I'm more aware of the role my ego plays I have a different perspective of my relation with people, when someone is being mean or evil, they are just showing me a little bit of what they are going through, what's going on within them, it's never about me like my ego likes to think. BIG BIG BIG joke: Until a couple days ago whenever my mind started fearing something or worrying I would burst laughing, it was kind of spontaneous and involuntary, god laughing through me about how small and insignificant my problems are close to HIM, I would just laugh out of sudden, super weird. It’s fucking crazy, it gave me a sense of “fuck everything” but in a good way, not in the I don’t care about anything, but in the sense of hurry up, live life, let go of fearing and enjoy life however you want, there is no right or wrong way to do so, a sense of freedom, so much freedom, extreme freedom, radical freedom, terrifying freedom, I realized that we are so encapsulated in our little lives, in our egos, in our little bubbles because in the end what we fear is THAT freedom, we don’t know what to do with so much freedom that we create barriers unconsciously not to experience all of it, we allow ourselves sometimes to feel it a little bit but the amount of freedom 5 meo showed me is extremely scary. Wow I also cry when I try to go back to the experience, I'm very sensitive now, also my meditation is much deeper, I sit for meditation and POW I'm right there into the void, swimming in the black hole, what enabled me to meditate even in the sauna, my body burns there for 20 or 30 minutes and my mind is far far away... very interesting. Relaxation: The biggest thing I've learned in the trip, the more I surrender to life (the same way I surrendered to the trip, where I had to let go of everything for the “substance” to work on me) it's just exactly the same with life, the more we relax and trust the universe (or god whatever you wanna call it) the more the energy of universe runs freely within us, and all the suffering we experience is a resistance for that energy, we want to do it our way, our ego wants it in its way, it’s that old saying, we get what we need out of life, not what we want, BUT every time (even if we consider our experiences as a bad) the universe is working to give us the best of the best, in order for us to grow and evolve, not as a person (ego) but as a group, as consciousness, as a whole, like Ram Dass says, the suffering comes from our attachment to what we think life should be, if we just relaxed life would be much much easier, I also thought about a video that he says we create THICK DRAMA out of nothing, I laughed hard, of how much drama I (the ego) is capable of creating, I SO understand that now, how rare that we exist, how beautiful life is, how magical everything can be if we just let go of everything we think we know and opened ourselves up to what the universe has to offer, but our ego wants to know everything, wants to pretend it knows, wants to find a logic, wants to find the right way to live life, wants to make sense of the unkown, wants to live like one has everything figured out hahaha we literally know NOTHING. State of Not Knowing: “Unaccustomed as we are to not knowing, we don’t understand the freedom that awaits us when we experience life beyond our beliefs.” Quote from The book of not knowing, Peter Ralston, that’s what enlightenment is, insanity, accepting uncertainty, so hard for the ego but liberating for the soul. Wow, I thought I could not write but man I could spend hours talking about IT, I’m super happy and feel lucky AF to have had this experienced, I can’t believe we found a toad that enables us to experience such thing, a TOAD, haha of course a toad, it's like a cartoon, we are living the fucking dream, I see all differently now, the sky is just a big screen we watch different channels every day, a dog barked in the neighbor’s house right after the trip, and the fucking dog was literally inside my head, I was creating the dog barking, the dog and everything around me, how fantastic and fascinating creatures we human beings are. PS: I’m deeply deeply deeply thankful for you Leo, I met so many amazing people here, actualizers are my faaaavorite Thank you if you made it to the end.. Till next time Miss Nobody "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!" fucking Truman show..

I did my kriya practice during the eclipse and I think I experienced a different quality of meditation. Quality of nothingness. But this could've been psychological, I'm not sure. Usually the quality of my kriya is joy and grace but today was emptiness very dominant quality.

You are Nothingness, but it’s not nothing, nor is suffice to refer to it as no-thing, even calling it infinite, or nonduality, is not “it”.

hi everyone , i've been following Leo actualized.org on youtube for almost 2 year , this is the first time i check out the forum, there are some question stuck on my head, appreciate if there's any expert able to shed some light as Leo mention in one of his video, self enquiry it's like using feather to soften the rock until the rock become disappear, by watching leo video and do the self-investigation work my ego willing to let go and stripe away most of the belief that i had before left nothingness and being at the present moment,i manage to disidentify myself with my body, i am not my body, the body its just a body, i am not the little voice, the little voice it's just a phenomenon , i am not my brain, the brain its just a brain. during meditation i am able to go into a state of nothingness+everything in the sense of no more belief system, 0 information and aware there's the only one existence of everything, no more distinction between big or small, inside or outside, bright or dark to me it's just sensation arise to my consciousness, it's only this phenomena of existence and that's it, the rest of it is fiction of reality even tho i've made some great progress on my spiritual journey, there are still a lot of trap that i fall into that holding me back so here comes a tricky question, if i am not the body, who is controlling the body? i notice that "something" able to control the body, what if that thing does not exist then the body supposed to paralyze right? so i assume the "thing" able to control the body existed, but what if i am not that "thing" then what am i?

Tricky subject to talk about. But ask yourself how there is something rather than nothing, and go extremely deep. With no preconceived notions, beliefs, etc. Was there pure nothingness out of which things popped out. Have there always been things. What could possibly ground those things' existence. How can their existence possibly be explained (it can't, cause whatever reason you give what grounds that reason?) Or, does it just appear that there are things, when really there aren't. Science tells us at least that chairs are made of atoms, which are made of subatomic particles, which may be made of strings, which are vibrating "energy", which may be identical to "information"... Are there 1s and 0s on a sheet of paper somewhere out of which arises the world we see? A chair does not look like a chair, the way a human sees it. Consider what an ant sees, or other animals? What does the chair objectively look like? Does that even make sense, "objective" means regardless of any interpretation. Also, look at a computer game. Mario doesn't have actual physical existence, though it appears he does. He is made up of information. Similarly with reality. (Though it goes even deeper than that)

Once again I am seeking some advice from you guys. Lately I get a very strong sensation in my head/the whole brain area. I am wondering if I do my meditation practice wrong and if this might be dangerous, although I feel quiet certain that I am doing it right, using intuition and just letting go of everything. I am not forcing anything. My meditation consist of letting go of everything. Letting go of all interpretations of any sensations that are happening. When I am doing this I am quickly sinking deep, very close to "nothingness". The sensation I am worried about is first feeling like if I was wearing a hat the whole day and took it off but it still feels like I am wearing it. Another description might be that it feels almost tingly but it doesnt tingle. Or like a white noise, or pressure, or weight. Its really hard to describe so I am hoping someone can relate. The more I stop thinking and interpreting things the stronger the sensation feels. It feels as if something is pulling on my brain, and then going deeper it feels like its going to explode or collapse. This is probably in correlation with my ego or reality collapsing because there is almost nothing left to hold on to. Of course, existencial fear is coming up in those situations and keeping me from finally letting go. I have had those close to nothingness situations many times now and I am almost getting used to the existencial fear thats coming up. But these head sensations are new and I am worried that I could seriously harm my brain by further letting go. I have never studied anything about chakras/kundalini/energy work and I dont intent to do so. My goal is awakening/disintentification of the ego, finding the true self, nothing and everything without "wasting" time with any mystical stuff or deluding myself with beliefs. And I guess someone is gonna say that this is just another sensation to let go of and stop interpreting it. "But Leooooo", this feels like I am gonna break my whole psyche and I dont want that. I just want that little tiny shift in perspective from dual to nondual Jokes aside, I have read stuff about people who suffer from serious mental illnesses/psychiatric disorders after doing long term mediation/energy practices. That worries me.

i‘m thankful for this empty space here, where i could squeeze a part of myself in - i would never have told it to just myself. the feeling of talking to this space or to everyone who wants to read gave me the opportunity. i would never have written here if i hadn’t had an existential crisis and an autoimmune disease. i also wouldn’t have written without having a near death experience in my youth experiencing nothingness shortly after - without shaving my hair at the age of 15. i wouldn’t have written if i hadn’t had all this symbols and pictures appearing all the time during writing and not without the mini experiments with challenging chaos i had in the chaotic parts of berlin. i even have a small dimple on my forehead, where i ran into a tube at the age of 5 hahaha, so many coincidences. wouldn’t have written if there wasn’t something greater than me. i now feel part of. thank you for that, all of you, blanc papers

Several thoughts and questions. Unpack them as you will. Cheers. Even openminded people are missing information solely for the reason that they haven't come across some idea yet. (Approaching the limits of time? The void? Nothingness as a blank canvas?) Could you please talk about what is happening in the mind as you approach more efficient stages of open-mindedness. When the mind begins to shed the ideas attached to belief and begins to see everything as updates to the mental algorithms of being. (A sort of continual state of unbelieving or searching for hidden beliefs so as to eliminate them? Is this just a never-ending game that the mind is occupying itself with, or are there really changes happening?) What is new information? In relation to mystical awareness, every "new" piece of information that comes into awareness begins to be a sort of message or foreshadowing of insights to come. (Is "new" the recognition of a strange loop?) Is the mind attempting to open into a state of complete newness? What happens as the mind becomes more efficient at finding new information or recontextualizing old information? What are the systems in the mind that act as a sort of "software engineer", at the forefront of new pattern recognition, that build new technologies and systems for older systems in the mind to use for innovating themselves? (A snowball effect or branching effect.)

Hmmm Damn yeah, that sounds likely... Being grounded into nothingness as they are already at that level of "base consciousness" to begin with