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Thank you for sharing this. It really coincided at a good time. One where I make that commitment to die by giving up the parts for the whole for no particular reason. It's beyond all reason, the mind is cut from its roots. Nothing remains. “Within me there was a steady flow of undiluted bliss.” ~ Ramakrishna

@kieranperez You are not meant to know what you want right now in your life, otherwise you would know! Where you are at is perfect. Life is giving you one of the biggest lessons here, to be okay with having no idea what you want and to face all your fears surrounding that projected through the people you love, and your thoughts and emotions. One day you will know exactly what you want, and it won't be you who figures it out. It will be given to you as a random idea, or a strong impulse. So enjoy the experience of not knowing. Own it. Live it. All you can do is accept this, and start the journey of embracing your heart in each breathe you take. Whether you are in your heart or not you can't miss what you are destined to experience which may be a lifetime of having no drive, or maybe in a few years you will want to start a business. But until then, it is wise to remain in your Heart, where dependant on nothing you can feel the Unconditional Bliss that you truly are, that is not dependant on knowing or not knowing, or career. From that place, no question will arise, or doubt or fear about the future if that is what you want to be free from. Or you can stay in your Head and experience the consequences of that, and that is perfect too. These are the 2 primal locations to live from. Change the foundations, and all else will be revealed and given.

Ok.. then I will keep this thread alive and post whenever I find time to narrate the story: Let me make the first post but the screenplay is going to be not in the Chronological order; I will make the order so that you see the links between the events more clearly: Scene 1: Two Osho sannyasins from Germany wanted me to meet me when they visit India. They emailed me 2-3 months before. I interact with them on whatsapp about their travel plan. He tells me he would visit me on Nov 23rd. But on November 6th of this month, I tell him that 26th is better because it is on a Sunday. I will be free on Sundays... Scene 2: On November 9th, I send him a reply to a previous conversation asking me to remind me two days before their arrival. On the same day, I write the above poem and slept; I was woken up by the death news; It was a big death in our entire family and it was totally unexpected. Scene 3: Problems start between me and my father. My father gets offended by me and starts to point out how worthless my life is. I challenge my father and there is a cold war. Scene 4 - Nov 22 - It has been one year since I published my first book. I remembered how amazing it was...There is a lot to say regarding this one year, which I will write about in a different post in the same thread. Scene 5: Usually, after a death in South India, there is a celebration again after two weeks when all the relatives gather together. On Nove 23rd, my wife reminds me that it was going to be on November 26th on sunday.. But I totally forgot that the German sannyasins were coming that date. On the evening, I got a reminder from the Osho sannyasin. Scene 6: On Nov 25th, my whole family with all my relatives think that I am crazy and worthless. Lots of things happened on that day which led my relatives to get convinced that I am someone who needs a lots of advice. Scene 7: On Nov 26th, the German sannyasins come to my home town with my book and I became the center of attraction of my whole town. Everyone starts praising me. That is when all of my relatives came to know that I had written a book. My dad feels totally embarassed. We ended up taking a lot of pics: Scene 8: I also meet an old friend who I saw about 16 years before...It was another turning point in the story. Scene 9: Until last year, all of my relatives thought that I am the most useless guy among the relatives. But they now have the totally opposite idea.. And when I posted the following post today in Facebook, it brought me smile. 10) When I look at the whole thing today, I see how karma works very clearly. I see why things happened in my life the way they did. At every moment, trillions of karmic action is going on and interacting with us, creating many deep links among people. I also discovered that there are secret keys which lie behind the names of people who have been close with me the whole life. The whole discovery was amazing .. One 28th Nov, in the morning, as my face was drenched with tears of bliss and wonder, I was explaining how the whole thing was a Eureka moment to my wife; that is when I also remembered that the old friend that I met recently actually worked with me in a company for two months.. It was my first job and the name of the company was 'Eureka Forbes'.. By the way, the name of the german Sannyasini (the women) is Vedanta Kabiro! (to be continued)

This is a story within The Story. This is a digital expression of what is happening. It is meant to paint a picture. It is meant for Ivan to find Love and Peace. It is also meant to be a container for all of Ivan's concerns, insecurities, contradictions, unease, sarcasm, delusion, victim-hood, narcissism, arrogance and ignorance. It is a place of unconditional love and acceptance. It is all-inclusive. So beware, kind reader. This might be exactly what you have no interest in reading, at all. THE STORY SAYS: Last night, after finishing the first page of his new digital journal, Ivan felt proud. He never tried before to express himself through words this precisely. He never tried to paint with words. It did not seem "colorful" enough to him. Ivan was all about musical notes. He has been writing his Story that way since he can remember, more or less. This realization made Ivan connect a few more dots. Diana was the first to read his first page. She was also very proud of Ivan. She told him how amazed she was by it; how she found it very entertaining, funny and therapeutic. She told him she could not wait to read the next page. This meant a lot to Ivan. He admires Diana's ability to read books for several days straight, non-stop. Ivan had a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. His desire for appreciation and validation was satisfied. The two love birds then continued doing what they are best at: Being what they are, exchanging ideas and opinions, laugh and entertain each-other. Love is in the air, indeed it is. They stayed up until 6 a.m. Time flies by when the two are in the "flow". Ivan was admiring the picture that was being painted in front of their eyes. They sat on the balcony until sunrise. There is a lot of big, strong palm trees surrounding their apartment. The colors were full and alive. The light of the new Sun being born created a dream-like scenery. Birds were singing their songs, the ocean waves were colliding tirelessly, the small Sri Lankan town was slowly waking up. Diana and Ivan were about to go to sleep though. After a few days of sleeping apart, they decided to share a bed again. Ahh, the sparkling eyes. The warm gaze. The sense of security and unity. The two truly are home wherever they roam. "Next day", Ivan woke up first, again. He was smiling already. He knew exactly what is up, so to speak. He laid his eyes on Diana. Her long, golden hair was covering some of her face. She was dreaming carelessly. Ivan was so grateful for "hitting the love jackpot". It's one of the greatest gifts of life one could receive - Ivan believes. He stayed in the bed for a while. Looking through the window, absorbing the light of the Sun. He was melting in joy and bliss. The couple adopted a Sri Lankan stray kitty a few weeks ago. The poor thing was frightened, lonely and hungry. They named her "Zeudi". She has found her new home and slowly became familiar with safety and love. Zeudi was sleeping on the bed next to Diana's thighs. Ivan now decided to get up and slowly start playing out his Story. He was excited. Ivan desires to express himself now: Wow. What a beautiful morning. I don't think I felt better ever before. I am alive! This is new, this is great! I did not care much about me thinking or not thinking this day. I was not trying to ignore any thought or fight them off. I was rather simply becoming aware of them and recognizing them for what they are. I was letting them flow through me effortlessly. I was breathing now. Surrender I needed to. I knew this. I always do know. But I don't always "take my own advice", or anybody's - for that matter. Sometimes I resist things way too much. I tend to get stubborn, one could say. Not this time though. Was I enlightened this day? I don't know. Who knows? Not me. All I know is that I felt fulfilled, vibrant and alive. I was on track, I was in the flow and in the zone. I was passionate about my every step. Each one of them were taking me closer to new discoveries and accomplishments. New fulfillment, growth and expansion. There was also a sense of stability and balance. I was focused. Although I did not have much on my "to do list". I was patient. Like the Lion, that I am. I gently woke up Diana. She was also feeling amazing. Her ear troubles were slowly but surely disappearing. We then drank our "wake up" coffee and I read through my new digital story; reflecting back onto what happened the previous day. I loved it. I could already feel the benefits of it. I am so grateful I started expressing myself again. It's been a while. We are 2 days behind with our rent. Our landlords live downstairs. It is a giant house. We were reminded by them that it's time to pay for the following month. We agreed they'd wait for 2 more days. Diana's mother will then be able to help us out, again. I noticed the option of becoming anxious or panicky about the topic. Or just incredibly guilty because of us being a burden for Diana's mother. But it went smoothly and I somehow was not "distracted". I then went to the nearby small shop, as I often do, to buy a few minor things, including "soukele" - which is a Sri Lankan word for "rolling paper", apparently. One could say I know my way around here now. THE STORY SAYS: On his way back from the shop, Ivan decided to walk by the ocean. The environment there is tropical and raw. Ivan loves it. It has that "island feel" to it - he'd say. Sand, waves, big rocks, palm trees, old wooden fishing boats on the beach-side. Some locals, who are mostly fishermen live with their families in small, minimalist beach-houses. Ivan even made a friend or two previously here. It is also the place to go to if one desires some "wisdom weed" - as Ivan likes to label it. Hospitality and friendliness is not unknown to these people. Ivan enjoyed waving and smiling at everyone. He was immersed in nature. The Sun was shining kindly. A few feet before their Sri Lankan home, Ivan "bumped" into Rocky. He is one of the many stray dogs also living on the beaches of North Kaluthara. Ivan and Rocky became great buddies shortly after the couple arrived to the town. Diana had the passion to often cook for and feed these hungry dogs. Ivan would help her carry the heavy bowls of food. That is how he and Rocky came across each-other. It was a strong connection. Rocky is Alpha. He "runs the streets" - Ivan would say. He is always very happy to see Ivan and is even protective of him. He tends to get jealous when other dogs try to approach Ivan. What a fellow. Dinusha, the housewife was waiting in front of the house for the school bus to arrive. Sujith, the hard working father and Dinusha have been together for more than 20 years now. After 15 years of trying, Buddha blessed them with their miracle-child - Sassenia. She is now 7 years old. The family sticks together and minds their own business. Ivan desires to express himself now: They seem happy to me, in their own way. We get along pretty nicely. Except for when we perceive them differently. Dinusha reminded me they really need that rent money, first thing Friday morning. They struggle as well, I suspect. Sujith is working his ass off. The guy leaves at dawn, returns at night. I respect him for that. He is very low-key. He is also an amazing artist. His hand drawings are incredible. He draws amazing, extremely symmetrical portraits. We agreed he'd draw mine and Diana's as well, before we leave. I entered our home. Diana has already done some yoga. She was full of life. We then read, drunk more coffee, smoked and talked. It is also not unusual for us to be just completely silent for hours, sitting next to each-other, minding our own business. There is a very pleasant vibe to this silence, we both love it. It started raining, so we decided to move inside. More reading, more coffee, more talk, more silence. It was nice. We also have another cat named Joy. He has been a part of our family for quite a while now. He is a strong, pure white, wise, charismatic cat. We adore him. He adores himself; so it seems. We "dragged" him from Slovenia with us. He has a journey of his own. Zeudi, the newest and youngest member and Joy were both chilling with us and enjoying the sound of rain. Then I remembered I forgot to buy milk. We needed it for our dinner. I don't mind walking, in fact, I love it. On my way to the local shop I was present, grounded and blissful. The guy who works in this shop is cool; laid back. We get along nicely. I feel like he likes having me as a regular customer. As I approached the counter I wanted to say "hello", but he took the word out of my mouth. Except that he did not intended it to me. He just answered a phone call. I though to myself: "Synchronicity, ay? That's cool". I don't know why, but I had this fear ever since I had that shattering "hospital trip", more than two years ago. I feared that everything and everybody would turn completely synced and my "soul" and "heart" would get sucked out of reality. It's a weird sensation, it really is. It's like I myself would turn into an object and there would be subject no more. But. I feared none today. I bought the milk and made my way back home. THE STORY SAYS: Soon Ivan started preparing the dinner for the two of them. He loves cooking for himself and Diana. He loves when Diana enjoys the meals he prepares. He's also quite good at it. He has been experimenting with ingredients, cooking for himself from a very young age. There were times when little Ivan had to take care of himself, by himself. There just wasn't anybody around. He knows the most important ingredient for a delicious meal is Love. Ivan is very present when he's cooking. Today he decided to make mashed potatoes, grilled sausages and boiled eggs. Topping it all with a chicken-flavored sauce. It's what they can afford at the moment. The couple loves mashed potatoes. Ivan prepares it with special care. No fancy mixers. He uses a simple fork to grind the potatoes. This burns his finger, but Ivan knows it's worth it. It always ends up being perfect. Ivan desires to express himself now: While the eggs and potatoes were cooking, I was walking around the apartment, thinking, not thinking. I tend to do that often. Sometimes great ideas enter my head that way. I knew this "free space" was an opportunity to take a quick shower; as once I'm full, there's little chance I'd do it. I was so freakin' immersed in contemplation and meditation for the past couple of days, that I completely wiped out all time for self-care and hygiene. Contradicting; is it now? The water felt great. Refreshing. Rejuvenating. We don't have warm water. Ever since we arrived to Sri Lanka. It is not a must here. At first it was though. I especially hated cold water ever since I can remember. I LOVED hot water. Like, very hot. But now I came to love the cold as well, honestly. I just surrender to it and let it run down my body. I like taking cold showers first thing in the morning, sometimes. It puts me exactly where I need to be. Here and Now. While I was bathing a memory came to me. I remembered the timeless shower I had while tripping on LSD back in Slovenia. I was completely immersed in it. It felt like I was under the biggest, loudest waterfall that there is. Yet I was one with the waterfall. I was every drop of it. I locked myself into the shower cabinet and I chanted with my eyes closed, melting in the echo of my own voice. Except that is was not my own. It was Gods. I felt like a newborn after this experience. Diana, who was tripping with me that night, saw me as the happiest 6 year old, ever. This brought up new thoughts and a mini-contemplation while I was still under the shower. I wondered why do I feel separate from the water at this moment. I knew the answer was "exactly because of this thought", but I felt like there is more to it. So I wondered further. I know each moment is timeless and space-less. They have no dimension to them. Every moment is completely static and independent of every other. I know this because I was once able to "pause" all moments. And just see one picture at a time. Although it's freakin' impossible for me to articulate this just yet, I know what I experienced and that's all that matters. This led to more thoughts: "Will I be able to do that ever again? Will I be able to pause reality and influence it, shape it, skip ahead or do whatever the heck I want? Is that possible? It must be. Everything is and nothing isn't. Can I stay involved in this, or is it not possible while operating from the concept Ivan?" I noticed a sense of wanting to control rising up, so I slowly let the thoughts go. After the shower, I winked at the mirror. I spoke to it: "You got this. You got the message. Love is the only answer. We're good." I complimented my own hair, again. I love my new hairstyle. I've been rockin' it for a few months now. It's unlike anything I had before and it suit's my new personality. Felt good. THE STORY SAYS: After the shower, Ivan still had some free time until the potatoes were fully cooked. He shared a few brief words with Diana, complimented her in subtle ways and then decided to pick his acoustic guitar up. It has been a few days since Ivan played. He was excited, even if he played just for a few minutes. There are only three strings left on his guitar. They are old and rusty. Ivan did not make the choice to buy new ones for quite some time. He feels like it's supposed to be that way now. Weird fellow. After the meal, Ivan wrote to his Slovenian friend Sašo, who is supposed to be his new mentor. The money was today deposited on Ivan's live forex trading account. Ivan feels ready to learn his way towards financial freedom. He want to hit the "financial jackpot" as well. He now has a new approach. He now has deeper love and understanding. He now has more patience and stronger focus. Ivan is determined to make big profits. He now knows that nothing and everything are One. Ivan is on fire! Ivan desires to express himself now: I know when I hold my guitar my fingers do the work themselves. I don't have to do a thing about it! There is pure awareness working it's magic only. I completely merged with this instrument over these 13 years. It thought me so much. It showed me the way to heaven. I cannot limit my love towards music to make it fit in words. It's just infinite. While the guitar was playing itself, thoughts started rising up: "Is this how everyone is when they achieve mastery in their field? Are they completely empty? Merely a vehicle for God doing it's magic? Is this how all the rockstars came to be? Is it because they completely surrendered themselves to the universe? Or is this how you sell your soul to the Devil? - Oh yeah, they're one and the same, ok." The meal was phenomenal. I do want to stop skipping breakfast and lunch soon. It's not the best for my body. I also want to return to my work out and yoga routine. I feel like a powerhouse when I do those. And I need all the energy in the world now. I gotta make this forex thing work. Millions of people are making millions daily. I know I can have my share. I deserve it, damn it! I suffered long enough. I watched others with less talent or no talent at all having far more support and wealth than me. I watched greedy bosses and scammers getting their pockets full, not questioning a thing. I can do it too. And I can do so without harming or scamming anybody. I can do it the right way. My way. I can do it in Love. I will, I swear both to God and The Devil. It's my time. It's here. It is now.

@winterknight when i had my last mystical experience as i mentioned you before, i felt like i was in a state pf bliss and i dont want it to leave me at any cost. Nonetheless, that feeling was gone and slowly i was back in my previous state. Since then, i have noticed that i am secretly craving for that state of bliss again, but i dont know how to attain it again. What to do? And why does it leave us?

Aaron - are retreats super important or just useful? I'de LOVE to find out, I believe i may be spiritually gifted so I have not gone on any retreats, i've just mediated in saunas and at home for about a year now. 2: is it really pure clarity, knowledge and bliss 100% of the time? No it's not - when you experience a mystical experience it is like that - but then it kinda fades back to your normal ego, only you feel "different". I believe it's because you have gained consicousness - sometimes you can feel your whole body and mind literally opening up and expanding. It scared the crap out of me at first. One thing I struggle with now is that when i get back to the normal ego i have to kinda stay at a hightened awareness so that I don't "lose it". This requires regular meditation and also fighting with my ego that this whole thing is not real - because you can't really share it with anyone and my ego uses that against me BIGTIME (more ego deception) I have since quit some bad addictions and made radical changes in my life that i KNOW i wouldn't be able to do without this. (because i tried in the past and couldn't) 3: how old are you and how long did it take to get fully enlightened? I'm 48 - and i believe it took me 3-4 years to get enlightened but may have actually been a lifetime since I suffered with OCD, which appears to cleared up like 90 percent now. 4: is it hard to get offended, and do you find yourself living "holier"? Yes totally - as far as being offended -no - i mean it's less hard but mastering emotions will be another task, though i find i have a jump on things now. 5: do you have a relatively "normal" western life, filled with social interactions and a job etc? Yes I do although i'm looking towards possibly making this my life's work in some capacity (transition to writing books or starting a site) 6: Is it true that you possess all knowledge and wisdom when your enlightened? I have only felt 100% infinity twice and it was very fast, but during that time, it's complete bliss and peace. I wasn't deep enough yet to experience the wisdom and knowledge part yet - i have a lot more work. I think i'm only like between 6-7 on the Zen Oxe Stages. Lots more work. I do think i came away more intelligent after these experiences for sure and i feel like i have way more consciousness. I will think of things i never thought of before and think in a totally different way. I

@Nahm it's funny how kids mirror adults acting as if they know and thus take on their problems as their own, while adults might have their problems solved mirroring the kids and thus return to childhood's bliss.

Like this morning, I completely let go of all attachment and I feel overwhelmed with an emotion of sadness that's turning into a euphoric feeling of bliss. But before it comes up, I ruin it by saying either "oh cool, something is happening" or "omg scary", and then it's gone. This always happens. Wish I could have the bliss. ??

@Charlotte That was a huge emotional release you had that you were holding onto. It feels utterly expanding, and helps us connect with the deepest layer of Bliss that is behind all of existence. This state you experienced was temporary, but can be more easily achieved by you now. It’s like coming back after a 10 day meditation retreat: if we engage in our thoughts again, instead of remaining steadfast in our heart center we will return back to our original state. But with practice, we can always stay Heart-centered even when we feel uncomfortable emotionally, or with thoughts pulling at or awareness. That is our power, that no matter what, we can focus our awareness anywhere! In my experience, maybe in yours too, it’s often in emotional discomfort that the biggest past pains or hurts are released. When this emotion arises we can say to our Hearts or the place we feel the emotion(from our Hearts), “It’s okay. I know you were innocently hurt, and not seen for the beautiful light that you are and always have been in the past. I accept that I can’t change those facts, but right now, I instead offer you my entire Love, and will be with you now and forever until you are healed by my embrace. I’m sorry i wasn’t there for you before, i didn’t know the pain you were in, I will be now my love”. You are the Heart. You are this brilliant ball of white light that can heal any emotion or thought or person by holding space for it, and speaking to whatever it is as shown above. We are already perfect, everything that is other than that is here to be healed. We first need to heal ourselves by finding that deepest place within ourselves that is perfect deep with our Hearts, and staying there for as long as possible! Look at the teachings of Ramana Maharshi, Matt Kahn, Papaji, Lincoln Gergar, Meister Eckhart, and nisargadatta maharaj. These people have helped my mind see that the Heart is who we are, and that it has the power to heal everything and transmute all fears and doubts held in the chakras. Speak from your Heart, live from your heart, whatever arises, allow it to take you deeper into the Heart if you want to find peace or have ever wondered what life is, or how you are alive beyond all odds. Btw, I love what you are doing with the Therapist. It was a big break through. More to come, lots of tears and crying, and pain, and then joy again, each time you get stronger. I wish you the best with her, and with your own growing relationship with your Self. Being heart centered attracts more discomfort than usual for brief periods because it is healing the blockages in the chakras. The sun takes time to rise in the morning, and so does your ability to stay heart-centered, so take it slow and consistently like a tortoise. I tried to be the Rabbit at first... no doing that again ?

You speak about Egoic, anyone can do that with a DMT plug. I speak about eternal bliss, harmony, Tantra, Healing, psychic abilities, is what True awakening is. Otherwise, you talking about mindfuckery only. I say this because I have experience, not with lions but with unapproachable dogs, Rotties, Pitbulls, Crazy horses etc. But awakening is not for everyone, is tougher than MR Olympia title, and I've been a powerlifter. The magnitude of the drama is something those who experienced death understand what I'm talking about.

that's an excellent question and i struggled with this myself. But you come to realize that, remember here - you are absolute infinity, which is all possiblities. That means you can actually experience absolute infinity, if even for a few minutes during a mystical experience (higher state of consciousness) You come back as your ego, so you don't lose your ego - only more intelligent and more self-actualized. You are literally grabbing more consciousness everytime this happens and your suffering will start to melt away, literally before your eyes, as time goes on. Your goal is to become so self actualized that you are as close to infinity as "humanly" possible which is going to VERY blissful. Think of it like this - you will have 99.99999 percent bliss and the remaining is suffering. So you can't get rid of the suffering completely until you literally BECOME infinity forever, which is death. In which case i believe you will reincarnate as another being, once again forgetting who you really are, and the process starts all over again - but note, there is no pain anywhere in that because you won't remember who you were before. So that's what Leo means when you have the next xxx amount of years left in life (depending on how old you are) to continue to diminish your suffering to the point where you life pretty much is bliss all the time, and that's as perfect as we can be. You can even experience COMPLETE infinity if only for a time even while you are alive (because it has to be, as being is infinite possiblities) You will also gain 99.99999 percent of infinite intelligence (consciousness) if you can get that self actualized as well. This whole thing is WAY more powerful than you know unless you have been enlightened - and even if you have, that's just the beginning as you have to continue your work until the end. Hope that helps.

If there is The One, and then a second one (the ego), then The One is not The One. The “ It “ perspective still divides. Can finite be included in infinite? Yes, you are doing this now, by asking. The paradox is you must ask, until you honestly know. What is the nature of something which once understood, was never really there? You could know 3 dimensions from experiencing 2 or 4. Or possibly any number, but 3. (Relativity) You could know there is time, by directly experiencing no time. ”Hollow be thy name” Point to this coding, or decoding, or perception of it for that matter. The cat is not the one. The cat is the one. Ask Schrodinger. To know movement as reality, requires knowing no movement. The ego feels nothing, and nothing feels the ego. This is zooming in, contemplation. Then, zoom out; fun, your highest bliss, alignment in truest desire, fun. Forget the entire contemplation.

Go with them, suicide the old you, your personality, your old patterns. Go with the flow to find bliss.

@Inliytened1 that's so cool. I've started to really get a grip (or lose a grip) of meditation recently, but I'm super pumped to get enlightened. I have a few questions. 1: are retreats super important or just useful? 2: is it really pure clarity, knowledge and bliss 100% of the time? 3: how old are you and how long did it take to get fully enlightened? 4: is it hard to get offended, and do you find yourself living "holier"? 5: do you have a relatively "normal" western life, filled with social interactions and a job etc? 6: Is it true that you possess all knowledge and wisdom when your enlightened?

Enlightenment is beyond the light, beyond the right side. Beyond concepts. Is the drop of all knowledge, pure bliss, pure being, pure action in the present moment. Is similar to the feeling when you hit the wall and trespass it. When you running, and after 1 h the pain is unbearable, then you go with the pain and after 30 min more you could run 3h more, I'm talking about that state. PURE FREEDOM

doing nothing is a movement, call it : weak or strong, as it please you or even both if that's makes you more neutral ! nature as a natural will, king doesn't choose to be king, that's the very nature of the will. we are all slaves too nature, to our nature. and our truth will reflect this very nature, we will remain what we are, because that's how nature made us. in the realm of men the natural will differ, and the truth change for the one who contemplate it. You can be in total peace of mind in the passion of life. Bliss exist in the fight. In some animals, some are born worker, some are born fighters, this doesn't have anything to do with "ego" or "fight struggle". the truth will reflect upon you, exactly the way you're born for. talker will talk, fighter will fight.

@Joseph Maynor he did self inquiry but it hit him hard & fast, I guess that's all it takes, he didn't even know what it was at the time, then he was in a state of bliss for 5 months, no more inner chatter. From why I've read that is.

Hello Amirali. I want to try and answer your questions, as I myself tend to get confused about this "from time to time". You do not literally kill yourself in order to "reach enlightenment". Although it sure feels that way while you are "dissolving the ego". The Truth is not pleasant to the persona. When you "kill yourself" you simply stop identifying with your "human" form only. With the main character you thought you were your whole life. "You" do not feel joy anymore. You ARE joy. You are bliss. And you are also everything else you can and cannot imagine. Welcome to the forum.

Hi there. I read your story twice, thank you for sharing. I want to applaud your level of courage, steadiness and also your depth of compassion, connection and understanding. Doing what you did for your friend(?) was nice and very supportive. Also thank you for all the "hints" and suggestions on how to be responsible with psychedelics. I sense you are well-experienced and know your "craft". The peace and bliss during your trip(s) are obvious confirmations. Enjoy the journey. Much respect.

I learned that there are different categories of meditation: 1. analytical meditation involving conceptual thinking, 2. concentrative meditation with one (mental) object to focus on which leads to concentrative states of bliss and non-conceptualty states and 3. meditation in emptiness (neither thought nor object, letting go of everything). As a rule a practical meditation is often a combination of two or three of these and one often starts with 1 (even if not fully aware of it) before going further to 2 or one starts with 1 before going further to 2 and finally 3. Reason is that one first has to be rightly motivated and then calm down before being able to concentrate single pointedly or even being able to let go of everything. I am assuming that what you call "self inquiry" I would call "analytical meditation".

@Unwiring For the sake of love, the bliss of letting go and reduction of suffering mostly. When I sit down on the meditation cushion I do it for the sake of meditation. For contrast, orange is completely engrossed in the life they have constructed around their egos, also known as maya, and uses meditation for the sake of maya. For example meditating to be able to concentrate harder and more effortlessly on their work or to seem calmer in social interactions to become more accepted. Nothing wrong with it, some people start of that way.

That's a good point. Absence of thoughts in the presence of bliss. That's similar to the recognition of the primordially present.

Its hard to say if youre doing it properly since Im not your mind but if you feel a sense of bliss afterwards youve definitely released some tension. I usually feel very goofy and chilled out after a good session. The most important thing is not calmness though, you will have meditations where you feel super antsy, the important thing is that you are aware of it. Thats all. Aware and awake. Are you directly experiencing the difference between thinking and awareness when you meditate?

@luckieluuke I love Leo and now I feel love for you too! Explore your mind further, for there is much more love and bliss to discover!

@Joshe Such a delightful post. There aren't signs of God, because EVERYTHING is already GOD!!! Penetrate the depth of your own mind even deeper to bath into more beauty and bliss))) Good luck bro!