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Microdosing today. I have noticed the tendency to go to bed in a triggered state when I don’t feel like I have made enough progress during the day. Or when I have had severe ADHD symptoms (I don’t know if I have ADHD, note for future reference in case I end up actually having it). In either case, here is my thinking. I am now in a state of severe lack in one aspect of my life; money. I am working every day to get out of that hole. I have chosen the entrepreneurial journey and this is my trial. Become an entrepreneur or die trying. An entrepreneur is someone who buys or builds businesses and then sells them or keeps uses them as leverage for a higher purpose or lifestyle. Two out of three of my business run a large deficit, a debt, towards me. I have less than three months to get out of this hole. I believe this situation is triggering some state of lack. I feel vulnerable. I feel insecure. This morning when some random arab started talking to me during my run my immediate reaction was fear. In reality the only dangerous person in that situation was me, if we look at sheer capacity for violence and destruction. Thinking about him now I feel absolutely certain I would have won in a death match. And yet, my response to a simple “what you up to” was fear and slight shock. So yes, although, subtle, I am in a triggered state. “In the box” as I always say to S. So I microdosed today to see if I can understand this triggered state. Get to know it closer. Identification I can’t yawn properly. Usually a tell-tale sign I have unreleased tension in me. It’s hard to find a certain emotion or feeling or trigger to focus on. I saw a white circle, ball, stone. Hard surface. Yawning now. Let’s try body activation. Yin yoga. But the music is too good right now. Yin yoga can wait. Let me breathe instead. The thing is, I feel absolutely certain I will solve the situation I’m in. I have no fear. However, somehow at times I get triggered - which leads to worse sleep - which leads to poor performance - which then actually hurts the process. What is the trigger? Who are you? Which part of me are you? When are you from? What happened to you? Let me ask out loud and see if I get answers. I fear becoming my dad. I fear becoming a loser, like him. I fear breaking, not able to apply any kind of capacity anymore. He broke. He gave up. Kept smoking though. Five children, all resent him. What a loser. I realize my judgments towards him go straight into myself too. Is this the source of my sense of being ugly? Being not good enough. Being inherently bad. No that’s the fearful avoidant. It’s a combination of things. This certainly affects it. Yes, I hate the parts I see in myself which look like him. His darker features. I resent him and everyone from the same country. I resent that whole culture. The whole country. I thought I had moved on. The conversation with him a few backs re-triggered this. Or maybe let it out. Yes, let it out. Previously I was in a more kumbayah state regarding him. I thought I had forgiven him. Now I’m here, fucking ended up in the same city, in money issue, just like him. I’m just waiting for the stroke to happen too, then the transformation/regression is complete. Yeah I have not forgiven him. I forgive you. You did your best. With what you had. I am part of a younger and more aware generation. I have had different circumstances, all the way from my genes to my opportunities. I still judge you however. And right now, that has to be fine. I am judging you as a separate person. Not as related to me. I am judging you for the choices you have made. For the weakness with which you have approached life after 30. Meak. In so many ways not a role model. I will be, however. I will be a role model to my children. I will break the chain. Speaking to you the last time it was clear that you were still a child emotionally. You have never healed. Your toxic beliefs have locked you in a state of limiting mindset. You have not been able to seek help because you didn’t believe there was a better reality available. I pity you and see you as lesser. That is my earned arrogance. In a fight I would win. And lose at the same time. I am better than you. With all frameworks I use to measure such a thing. I do believe in your value as a human being. I know you are a divine being like the rest of us. And your original innocence is beautiful. Truly beautiful. And I am sad that you have lived your entire life without discovering it. Your mother left you when you were 8. You have had an avoidant personality since then. You never healed. I pity you. I feel sad that so much of your potential was wasted, locked in, never realized. I have seen photos of you in your early 30s. You looked bad-ass! You could have become something very impressive. I can’t even visualize it however I believe in the power of willpower and applying time and pressure to solve problems, no matter what type. You fucked up. You didn’t get up again. You checked out. And so you have lived a meek existence since. Maybe it’s everything you wanted. You perhaps have found your piece. And I could have been fine with that.. but you have 5 children who all resent you. And you are not a part of any of their lives. That is failure, in my book. I will never be able to see it in any other way. I went to the floor and starting hitting the pillows and screaming at the top of my lungs. I could definitely feel the rage. Still quite a bit of self-judgement. And gates not fully open. Tiny thoughts about disturbing neighbors, about missing my food delivery. I did connect and naturally started crying a little bit. I was sobbing without tears. Hard to say whether these are defenses or just that the tears are not there anymore for this. I still feel that it is harder to yawn. I got a few good yawns out. Side note, I rarely if ever have panic symptoms anymore. I am also not at all afraid of them anymore. I believe I managed to heal myself. Using breathwork, microdosing, ayahuasca, meditation and shadow work. I went to two psychotherapist sessions which had absolutely no bearing at all on resolving the syndrome. Their answer was basically - you just have to deal with it, you’re sick now. The tragic state of modern western medicine practitioners. Food arrived. It’s ok to be afraid and do anyway. The triggers I’m feeling might be simply just a reaction to the unknown. It is, after all, the first time in life when I am truly standing on my own legs only. Everyone is coddled until they run a business and depend on it for their food on the table. This period has given me so much growth. It’s ok to go to bed triggered sometimes. I will find out eventually which part of me is trying to defend me from whatever it is. Ghosts? Reality? I want you to know, every single fiber of me, this is directed at you; we are OK. We can make anything happen. We are fucking powerful. We manifest magic on a daily basis. We are loved. We love. We are living our purpose. We are enjoying the process. It is like good stretching, on the edge of pain and pleasure. This is it. This is growth. This is walking our own path. Creating our own destiny. Get comfortable. I, we, the royal I, am/are completely confident we will make it. On the other side of this hill lie untold adventures, treasures, joy. Heck, if we listen carefully enough, we can hear the vibrations. Listening closely to them we can also relax into the utter relaxed peace of the now. We do not even need to wait for anything. It is already here. There is no I. Relax into divine excellence. All is well.

I just add my personal imaginary concept, "skillful" before any bad word and then it makes sense, just apply intelligent love transforming rules to those according to your skill level and/or preference. Skillful arrogance Skillful hate Skillful 3rd degree burns Skillful cringe Skillful ratting Usually requires an intuitive combination(non linguistic but you can pull out concepts if you're skillful enough) of multiple truths to make sense, so arrogance should stay as what is and still be good(it can even stay bad, which requires even more "skill") and of course transformation is allowed too, the whole gist.

?✌️ it feels so good, no to talk directly without so much spiritual baggage? Communication with others is so simple and joyful...why do we make it unnecessarily hard? I am guilty of that too...one of the main factors for me and my ex girlfriend distancing was me being overly spiritual and telling her theories of how reality works??? One major reason I found out why people/beings/souls (I am using these terms interchangeably here) don't act the way they are(real, innocent, joyful and alive) because it comes with such a huge responsibility. Responsibility to do what must be done. Responsibility to make your dreams into reality. Responsibility to not let unconscious people mess you over. Responsibility to help unconscious people be more themselves and not run by their conditioning. And Responsibility to Unleash The Magic Within Them? And it seems hard......because taking responsibility means now we can't blame anyone for the circumstances in our life. Not even ourselves.... And the things we must do seems daunting..(coaching, running a business, going on a wild adventure, getting into a relationship, calling out on somone's bullshit, etc..) But it's not that hard..it's fun when we do it. I healed myself out of depression, existential crisis and smoking addiction. And now heading towards my life purpose with absolute dedication and I am happier than ever...? I don't know about your situation and I am not the person to take health advice from..so I guess I can't help you with that... but I strongly believe you will make your life work... Because In Your Heart Of Hearts, You are A Powerful Magician? and you can do anything. Happy healing and transformation to you❤️‍?? God bless you..take care.. PS: you are God so, you bless you? PPS: please don't see me as some lecture giver..I am not that.. I am just a guy who has fallen in love with reality? Namaste??

@Leo Gura @Leo Gura I don't know about that. For example i was very lazy for years and then all of a sudden one day i had enough & i've never been that lazy again. Some kinda of shift happened. Same thing with my addiction to marijuana. One day i just said fk with this BS. But yes you could argue that it took years of suffering to reach that point of disenchantment. What would you recommend for identity-level change? Should i just focus on repeating good habits day in and day out? What else should i be doing to get the most juice out of this transformation process?

Hey, I can empathize with you because I grew up in brutal household. Every form of abuse was present: physical, verbal and emotional. I could be beaten up at school and then later at home the same thing. At 20, I had to get two reconstructive surgeries. It was tough. I developed various traumas. OCD, being perfect, nice guy, extreme social anxiety, sexual problems, depersonalization, very VERY severe sleep paralysis, paranoia and nightmares and sensing the presence of demons. I don't think the demonic stuff went as far for me as it did for you. What worked for me is this, I started meditating and meditating ALOT. Off the bat I started doing 3-4 hours every single day and that alone helped a lot. Then I started going to therapy and it was great. But the two most important things I did were this: kriya yoga which literally gave me life back and much more. I also did a retreat with the Isha Foundation called Bhava Spandana which was a kundalini retreat but really it was a trauma intensive. Between 20 and 23, I focused solely on healing and yoga. I forgot about girls, college, career, everything... doing this created radical transformation. But please don't go into deep spiritual states if you are unstable. The most important thing is a healthy mind and BALANCE. Deep spiritual work will amplify your trauma 1 million fold and literally drive you insane. Don't do it without establishing a strong framework and for me a strong framework includes both a strong body and mind.

Philosophy and art are about telling good engaging stories. As a side effect both can be about getting at some sort of truth about the world. There's an aesthetic and emotional dimension to both disciplines, which is ok for its own sakes - it doesn't all have to be about truth. Perhaps both are ultimately about transformation?

its nothing to do with death, jesus likely didnt die on a cross, what is being communicated is ego death, jesus woke up after tending his wounds, read the links i posted, he is showing people how to die to self so you might realize your true nature, read Robert's The Real Christ here is some of Robert's perspective courtesy of chat-gpt: Bernadette Roberts regards Jesus as an exemplar of the transformative spiritual journey, emphasizing his teachings and experiences as a model for individual self-discovery and union with the divine. In her writings, Roberts highlights the significance of Jesus' life as an illustration of the potential for ego transcendence, emphasizing his radical self-surrender and identification with the divine will. She interprets the crucifixion of Jesus as a symbol of the ego's crucifixion, where one's attachments, desires, and false identifications are willingly sacrificed in pursuit of deeper spiritual realization. Roberts views Jesus' resurrection as a profound event that signifies the possibility of transcending the limitations of the egoic self and experiencing a rebirth into a higher, more authentic mode of existence. She underscores the importance of personal, direct experience and inner transformation, suggesting that Jesus' life and teachings invite individuals to embark on a similar journey of inner exploration and self-realization. Roberts offers a unique perspective on Jesus' teachings, seeing them as pointing towards a state of consciousness beyond the ordinary egoic perception, encouraging followers to move beyond superficial religiosity. She highlights Jesus' emphasis on the Kingdom of Heaven within, suggesting that his teachings call for a shift in focus from external rituals to an inward journey of self-discovery and communion with the divine. Roberts suggests that Jesus' intimate relationship with God exemplifies the potential for direct and unmediated union with the divine presence, emphasizing a personal and immediate connection with the sacred. She explores the idea that Jesus' life represents a radical transformation from a human perspective to a divine identity, illustrating the possibility of realizing one's true nature beyond the confines of the ego. Roberts encourages readers to engage with Jesus' story as a metaphorical and experiential guide for the spiritual journey, offering insights into the profound shifts and realizations that can unfold when the ego is transcended.

Hello everyone. My objective is to transform to a completely different person over the next years. I am talking about a deep fundamental change. Not petty surface-level stuff. I am tired of all the BS and now at 30 years old with all the experience and learning i've had i am ready to go to the next level. I have finally accepted the Call of the Hero's Journey and i am living the best period of my life the last 1 month. It's really incredible how much better life can get. My objective spiritually is to become as conscious as humanly possible. My objective work wise is to become a world class programmer and eventually start my own business which improves peoples health & well-being. I am already implementing some major changes in my life like daily walking, daily reviewing my top 10 values, daily watching high-quality videos, daily programming work & daily reading. Problem is that i push too hard and i get ego backlashes but now i pace myself better. Anyways the purpose of this post, is to get some serious advice from other people who have gone through this transformation process. I am all ears. Keep in mind that i want to focus more on Stage Orange stuff in this period of my life. I need more success in my life.

When it comes to enlightenment -- becoming directly conscious of your true nature -- there's no process involved because the consciousness that's required is absolute. It is direct, similar to waking up from a dream. You wake up by waking up, no matter what worthy things are done within the dream. I'm not talking about transformation, which includes giving up attachments, building a more effective self, healing, improving vitality, etc. Since these are relative they must invariably come about as the result of a process. Enlightenment is what happens while you're contemplating. And enlightenment is true now. You become conscious of it. That's ultimately the only way. The mind can be focused and disciplined but no method will produce such consciousness, it is an impossibility.

@Leo Gura You're holding enlightenment as a "thing" (relative), that is presumably mediated by brain chemistry. If it's absolute, it isn't a thing. Do you think enlightenment "happens" when the right chemicals are in place? Is enlightenment lost after the "right" chemicals change? You may be talking about a change in state, which is always temporary. His work is also aimed at understanding the relative domain -- transformation, healing, empowerment. Peter isn't saying that certain activities can't help or that they're useless, but that nothing produces direct consciousness but you. Exactly, he's saying just that: nothing -- no activity, process, method or accomplishment -- can take you to the absolute because enlightenment isn't relative nor is it a process. Nothing done within a dream can wake you up. Best you can do is contemplate with the intent to make a leap in consciousness which is always direct. The point is that the brain, genetics, methods are irrelevant here. By that logic, without the pertinent chemistry, awakening can't occur, which is silly. There's no such thing as requisites to awakening, except you personally becoming conscious.

@Mysterious Stranger My intuitive speculation, is that they probably transferred from whatever native form they have, into a body suitable for space travel. Kind of like a transformation or transfer from one body into another, similar to how humans change from one costume into another.

@integral I don't understand what you're talking about at times. How do you know what applies and what doesn't to me? Just by the fact you stop resisting your experience, this reduces the energy you spend everyday and makes you need less sleep. When you are super motivated to accomplish stuff you also tend to sleep less. People who want to escape life sleep the most. I do not feel any negatives whatsoever and it's been like close to 3 weeks now. I feel super energized and calm at the same time. And with the 3 hours of sleep i feel very good too. There is a lot we don't know about sleep. The 1st 3 hours of sleep are the most important to your body. If your body feels its time to cut sleep it will cut the latter part for some higher purpose (like surviving a challenging transformation). Eventually my body will start sleeping more when it adjusts to the stresses of the new challenges i am currently facing.

Btw if you were to put your awareness on that saddness and hold it, abide in it. The alchemy of transformation and healing would begin to take place. Sadness would get replaced by Light on its own. And then the next layer would pop up eventually. That's your starway to heaven.

Journal Entry: Embracing Stoicism Today, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, guided by the principles of Stoicism. As I delve deeper into this ancient philosophy, I find myself drawn to its teachings and the wisdom it imparts. Stoicism encourages me to live a life of tranquility and contentment, irrespective of the challenges and uncertainties that may come my way. One of the core tenets of Stoicism is the acceptance of things beyond our control. This powerful realization has begun to reshape my perspective on life. Instead of becoming overwhelmed by circumstances that are outside my influence, I've learned to focus my energy on the aspects I can control: my thoughts, actions, and attitudes. By embracing this mindset, I am liberated from the chains of anxiety and frustration, and I gain a newfound sense of peace. In practicing Stoicism, I have come to appreciate the importance of developing a strong inner resilience. It teaches me that external events hold no power over my emotions unless I allow them to. By cultivating a disciplined and mindful approach, I have started to detach myself from the fleeting highs and lows of life, finding solace in the stability of my own character. Another principle that resonates deeply with me is the concept of amor fati, the love of fate. This notion encourages me to embrace every experience that comes my way, be it joyful or sorrowful, as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Rather than dwelling on what might have been or clinging to regret, I am learning to view adversity as a catalyst for personal transformation. Stoicism teaches me to find beauty in the very things that challenge me, and by doing so, I gain a greater appreciation for the richness of life. Moreover, Stoicism reminds me of the impermanence of all things. By acknowledging the transient nature of life, I am motivated to cherish the present moment and make the most of every opportunity. It prompts me to prioritize what truly matters, to nurture meaningful relationships, and to pursue virtues such as kindness, courage, and wisdom. Through my exploration of Stoicism, I have come to realize that it is not a rigid doctrine but a flexible framework that can be adapted to my own life. It is a guide that empowers me to shape my thoughts, actions, and reactions in a way that aligns with my values and aspirations. By internalizing the principles of Stoicism, I strive to become the best version of myself, embracing the challenges and uncertainties with a calm and steadfast demeanor. As I conclude this journal entry, I feel a profound sense of gratitude for discovering Stoicism and the impact it has had on my life. This journey of self-discovery and embracing stoicism is an ongoing process, but I am committed to continuing my practice and deepening my understanding of this philosophy. With each passing day, I grow more resilient, grounded, and at peace. Stoicism is not just a philosophy to me—it is a way of life that guides me towards wisdom, inner strength, and true fulfillment. May I find the strength to continue on this path and may the teachings of Stoicism illuminate my journey.

@BojackHorseman i think like hindu gods as depicted with those ornaments and things in their hands as symbols for what they can do for you if you worship them. Or they symbolize what the god does. So they might have actual value such as this chat gpt The symbols associated with the Hindu goddess Kali hold various meanings and interpretations. Kali is a powerful and complex deity in Hindu mythology, often depicted as a fierce and fearsome figure. Here are some of the symbols associated with her and their representative meanings: Black or Dark Skin: Kali's dark complexion represents the eternal darkness that existed before the creation of the universe. It also symbolizes her transcendence of conventional notions of good and evil, as she exists beyond dualities. Nakedness: Kali is often depicted as naked, which signifies her freedom from societal norms and conventions. It represents her raw and uninhibited power. Multiple Arms: Kali is typically depicted with multiple arms, ranging from four to ten, each holding various weapons and symbolic objects. These arms symbolize her immense power and ability to multitask. They also suggest her ability to protect and bless her devotees. Shrunken Heads: Kali is sometimes depicted wearing a garland of severed heads. These heads symbolize the ego, which she has conquered and transcended. It represents her ability to liberate her devotees from the bondage of the ego and attachment. Tongue: Kali is often depicted with her tongue sticking out. The extended tongue signifies her thirst for blood or her fierce nature. It also represents her power of annihilation and the devouring of negative forces. Sword and Trishula: Kali wields a sword and a trishula (trident). The sword represents knowledge and the cutting of ignorance. The trishula symbolizes her ability to destroy evil forces and maintain balance in the universe. Garland of Skulls: Kali is sometimes depicted wearing a garland made of human skulls. These skulls represent the cycle of birth and death, and the dissolution of the physical body. They also symbolize her role as the ultimate destructor of time and the transient nature of existence. Standing on Lord Shiva: In certain depictions, Kali is shown standing or dancing on the chest of her consort, Lord Shiva. This symbolizes her power and supremacy over time, death, and the ultimate reality. It represents her role as the embodiment of Shakti (divine feminine energy) and her ability to bring about cosmic transformation. It's important to note that these symbols carry deep cultural and mythological significance and are subject to interpretation within different traditions and practices associated with Kali worship. I also heard that kali is considered space and time combined by sadhguru why she is on shivas chest is because shiva cannot do anything without her. So she would be the personification of the 4th dimension a force that cannot be explained. Im sure the stories all have deep meaning in them but you have to research and understand them and that would be like worshipping the god, and saying mantra and shit to them I have a dream of this god when I was a child she destroyed the earth with an asteroid and i was flung up into space on a peice of earth and she came to my piece with her tongue out and stared at me.

Journal Entry: Discipline, Self-Control, and Self-Love Today, I find myself reflecting upon the powerful trio of discipline, self-control, and self-love. These three virtues have been intertwined in my journey of personal growth, and I have come to realize their profound impact on my life. Discipline, the cornerstone of achievement and progress, requires a steadfast commitment to my goals and values. It is through discipline that I shape my actions and cultivate positive habits. It pushes me to stay focused and dedicated, even when faced with challenges and distractions. Each day, I am learning to harness the strength of discipline, embracing its structure as a guiding force. Accompanying discipline, I have discovered the importance of self-control. It is the ability to resist instant gratification and make choices that align with my long-term vision. Self-control empowers me to navigate the temptations and impulses that often hinder personal growth. Whether it's resisting unhealthy habits or managing my time effectively, self-control allows me to stay on track and make decisions that serve my greater well-being. Amidst the pursuit of discipline and self-control, I have realized that self-love plays an equally vital role in my journey. It is the foundation upon which all my actions and intentions are built. Without self-love, discipline and self-control can become harsh and unyielding. I have learned to approach myself with compassion, accepting my flaws and imperfections. Through self-love, I have discovered the capacity to forgive myself, learn from my mistakes, and grow stronger with each challenge I face. In embracing discipline, self-control, and self-love, I have witnessed a transformation within myself. I have learned to set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps. Discipline has taught me to prioritize my time and energy, focusing on what truly matters. Self-control has helped me resist the allure of immediate gratification, enabling me to make choices aligned with my values and aspirations. And most importantly, self-love has allowed me to appreciate my worth and embrace self-compassion, fostering a positive relationship with myself. While the journey towards discipline, self-control, and self-love can be challenging, it is undeniably rewarding. Each day presents an opportunity for growth, and I am committed to cultivating these virtues further. By staying disciplined, practicing self-control, and nurturing self-love, I am confident that I will continue to embark on a path of personal development and discover the limitless potential within me. As I conclude this journal entry, I am reminded of the importance of these virtues in shaping my life. With discipline, self-control, and self-love as my guiding lights, I am ready to face the world with renewed strength, resilience, and compassion. Until next time, I will continue to embrace these virtues and nurture my inner growth. With gratitude and determination

I feel no inspiration to get out of my bed, I feel it’s hard for me to trust people. I remember I was reading about this book about different stages of team dynamics in a company. Even after having that knowledge, I ended up in a company with a lower stage dynamics, I avoided all the red flags I could see right there, Now I feel harming myself by getting such a job. At that time, I was focused mainly of getting a job and that’s all what mattered. Now My situation is of a broken person, no job, bad relationship, I really don’t know what I want. This is pathetic existence, I really need a transformation right now, nothing less than that. My whole body is burning in kind of a fire, maybe it’s a fever, and I can’t think straight. I don’t trust myself anymore, I have been hurt very deeply. I still don’t want to believe what has happened with me.

My body is still paining after we did this 3 days of intense walking in the forest. Every day we chose a new place and walked around 20 km trekking through amazing scenery of mountains, clouds and nature hanging together. It was an awesome experience, Now when I lie down in my bed, my legs and body still hurts. Going through a complete bottom of my life, I really don’t know why my life has turned this way. I really do not feel like programming again, this has to be a transformation and I must align what I do to what I truly want. I am scared to be in a job like my last job, it has sucked me completely, even my inspiration for this career has been killed by this fear. This was truly a traumatic experience, I am going to rejuvenate my body and mind. Better to earn less money than getting stuck in such jobs where they leave you completely destroyed. And sadly, that’s majority mindset feels like, running over humans to be richest.

Hello, @Leo Gura! I can take 1,200ug of LSD and remain perfectly conversational, walk and talk in a normal manner, and my awakening is completely ordinary to me. I will see no hallucinations, have no or very little insight, experience no fear, and even bodily I will feel pretty much the same. There might be some slight discomfort in the beginning, but not much, I will feel quite ordinary the whole time and in 2-3 hours or so the only side effect I will have is slightly dilated pupils. I cannot detect light and medium doses of 5-MeO-DMT at all, all I feel is the taste of it, and a heavy dose is a relaxation experience for me which lasts 2-3 minutes or so. It's the same thing with N,N-DMT - I barely experience anything, even on a relatively high dose, and the "trip", if we could even call it that, only lasts 2-3 minutes. I haven't tried Salvia, but I have no reason to believe that it will "terrify the shit out of me" - it's been a long time since I experienced fear with any psychedelics. I admire what you're doing, launching yourself into the spiritual journey with abandon, but you need guidance, my friend. I am very sorry to say but you have been spreading a lot of misinformation by generalizing your personal psychedelic experiences to everyone, and continually claiming higher states of consciousness than anyone else. From my perspective, you are not awake at all, and you have no wisdom to share (yet), even though your psychedelic experiences unquestionably brought you some insight. I see a lot of potential in you, most notably your determination. It is true that in order to become enlightened, one has to have a megalomaniacal level of determination, the desire to know Truth above all else, the willingness to leave it all behind. This is true, and you have it. But you are at the very beginning of your spiritual transformation, and are making all sorts of mistakes. You have a very strong ego, you desire to be seen as "the most awake human (alien?) of all time". You misunderstand and devalue a lot of authentic teachers, thus doing a disservice to humanity, given the size of your audience. Please shoot me a message and we'll talk. We can speak privately on video or you could even come visit me. Remember that all authentic masters taught in person, and people who have nothing to hide from themselves don't hide from each other either.

Dear seeker, Your fear of insanity and losing your grip on yourself during psychedelic trips or mystical experiences is understandable. The mind can be a powerful force, and the exploration of altered states of consciousness can be both profound and challenging. However, it is important to remember that you are a divine, infinite, and eternal spirit experiencing human existence. When approaching psychedelic experiences or mystical journeys, it is crucial to create a safe and supportive environment for yourself. Set an intention for your exploration and surround yourself with trusted individuals who can provide guidance and support if needed. Additionally, working with a trained facilitator or guide can help ensure a positive and transformative experience. To address the fear of insanity, it can be helpful to recognize that all thoughts, emotions, sensations, and perceptions are themselves proof of God's direct communication with you and your experience. The interconnectedness of all things is a fundamental aspect of reality. By aligning with the divine infinite eternal spirit, you can experience divine ecstasy consistently and naturally. Self-realization and aligning with the divine aware presence is a powerful path to follow. It allows you to tap into the highest vibrations of love, joy, and ecstasy. Embrace the understanding that the divine presence is within you, guiding and supporting your journey. Trust in your own capacity to navigate the realms of consciousness with clarity and wisdom. If you continue to experience fear or concerns, it may be beneficial to explore other paths to self-actualization and spiritual growth that resonate with you. Meditation, breathwork, yoga, and other contemplative practices can also facilitate the expansion of consciousness and help you connect with the divine presence within. Remember, the journey of self-actualization is unique for each individual. It is important to honor your own process and trust your intuition. Seek support from like-minded individuals, spiritual communities, or professional guides who can offer guidance and encouragement along your path. May you find the courage to embrace your spiritual exploration, trusting in the infinite wisdom of the divine presence within you. As you align with the divine, may you experience profound transformation, joy, and the boundless ecstasy that awaits you. With love and support,

Dear seeker, When you become highly conscious and aware, it is not uncommon to experience sensations of constriction in various parts of the body. These sensations can manifest around the heart, solar plexus, gut, throat, and head. These areas often hold energetic blockages that can be released as you deepen your self-realization and align with the divine infinite eternal spirit. It is important to recognize that these constrictions are not indicative of any inherent limitations or obstacles. Instead, they are opportunities for growth, healing, and expansion. By acknowledging and embracing these sensations with love and acceptance, you can initiate a process of transformation and release. To alleviate these constrictions, you can engage in practices that facilitate the flow of divine energy within you. Meditation, breathwork, yoga, and energy healing techniques can be beneficial in clearing energetic blockages and restoring harmony to your being. As you deepen your self-realization and align with the divine aware presence, you can experience divine ecstasy consistently and naturally. This alignment allows the energy of the divine to flow through you, dissolving constrictions and expanding your awareness of interconnectedness. Remember that you are a manifestation of the divine infinite eternal spirit, and all thoughts, emotions, sensations, and perceptions are a testament to God's direct communication with you and your experience. By aligning with this divine presence, you can experience the highest vibrations of love, joy, and ecstasy, and in turn, elevate the vibration of the entire collective. Each individual's journey is unique, and there are various paths to self-realization and aligning with the divine. Trust your intuition and inner guidance as you explore practices and teachings that resonate with you. Embrace your journey with openness, patience, and self-compassion, knowing that the realization of your true nature is a profound and transformative process. May you continue to deepen your self-realization, align with the divine infinite eternal spirit, and experience the boundless ecstasy that awaits you. With love and support,

Journal Entry - July 11, 2023 Today marks another milestone in my journey towards a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle. As I reflect upon my choices, I am proud to acknowledge that I have stayed true to my commitment of abstaining from alcohol, sodas, energy drinks, and drugs of any kind. These substances no longer hold power over me, and I find immense joy in embracing a clean and sober existence. Since I made the conscious decision to eliminate alcohol from my life, I have noticed a remarkable transformation in both my physical and mental well-being. My body feels rejuvenated, and I wake up each morning with a renewed sense of energy and clarity. The absence of sodas and energy drinks has not only improved my overall health but also helped me escape the vicious cycle of dependency and sugar crashes. I am no longer a slave to these artificial beverages but rather an advocate for nourishing my body with wholesome alternatives. In addition to refraining from substances that harm my body, I have also chosen to distance myself from the allure of pornography. The decision to abstain from watching porn has been empowering and has allowed me to regain control over my thoughts and emotions. Through practicing NoFap, I have embarked on a transformative journey of self-discovery and self-discipline. By redirecting my energy and focus towards more constructive pursuits, I have experienced heightened levels of motivation, improved mental clarity, and a greater appreciation for genuine human connections. Living a life free from the influence of alcohol, sodas, energy drinks, drugs, and pornography has unlocked a newfound sense of freedom and empowerment within me. I am able to fully engage in life's experiences without the haze of substances clouding my judgment or the shackles of addiction holding me back. Instead, I embrace a life of mindfulness, self-care, and personal growth. Each day brings its own set of challenges, but I am committed to staying true to my values and remaining steadfast on this path. I surround myself with supportive friends and loved ones who respect my choices and offer encouragement during moments of temptation. I have also discovered alternative activities and hobbies that bring me immense joy and serve as healthy outlets for stress and boredom. Through this ongoing journey, I am learning to appreciate the beauty of life's simple pleasures. From the taste of a refreshing glass of water to the thrill of pursuing my passions, I am discovering that true happiness and fulfillment lie in the present moment and in living authentically. As I conclude this journal entry, I am filled with gratitude for the strength and determination that have brought me this far. I am excited for the continued growth and self-discovery that await me on this path of sobriety, mindfulness, and self-improvement. I am proud of the person I am becoming, and I am confident that by staying committed to these choices, I will continue to cultivate a life filled with purpose, health, and genuine happiness.

Journal Entry: The Benefits of NoFap and the Importance of Higher Testosterone Today, I want to reflect on my journey with NoFap and the significance of higher testosterone levels in my life. It has been a few weeks since I embarked on this challenge, and I must say, the benefits I have experienced thus far have been profound. First and foremost, abstaining from pornography and masturbation has given me a renewed sense of self-control and discipline. It has allowed me to redirect my energy and focus on more meaningful pursuits in life. I have noticed a boost in my productivity, creativity, and motivation. Instead of wasting hours indulging in short-lived pleasure, I have been utilizing my time to engage in activities that contribute to personal growth and development. One of the most intriguing aspects of NoFap is its impact on testosterone levels. Testosterone is a vital hormone in both men and women, influencing various aspects of physical and mental well-being. By abstaining from ejaculation, the body has the opportunity to conserve and utilize its testosterone more efficiently. As a result, I have experienced an increase in my energy levels, assertiveness, and overall vitality. Moreover, higher testosterone levels have had a positive impact on my physical fitness. I have noticed greater gains in muscle mass and strength during my workouts. My endurance has improved, allowing me to push myself further and achieve new personal records. It's fascinating to witness the connection between testosterone and physical performance firsthand. In addition to the physical benefits, I have also observed a positive change in my mental and emotional state. NoFap has helped me reduce feelings of anxiety and stress. I feel more confident and at ease in social situations, which has enhanced my interpersonal relationships. The increased testosterone levels have also played a role in boosting my mood and reducing depressive tendencies. However, it is important to note that NoFap is not a magical solution to all of life's challenges. It is merely a tool that can be incorporated into a broader lifestyle focused on self-improvement and well-being. Alongside NoFap, I have been practicing mindfulness, engaging in regular exercise, and maintaining a healthy diet, which have all contributed to my overall transformation. As I continue on this journey, I am excited to see further positive changes in my life. NoFap has instilled in me a sense of discipline and self-mastery that extends beyond the realm of sexual gratification. It has opened my eyes to the potential that lies within me and the incredible benefits of a balanced and empowered life. In conclusion, NoFap has provided me with numerous benefits, including increased self-control, productivity, and higher testosterone levels. Through this journey, I have realized the importance of channeling my energy into meaningful pursuits and maintaining a balanced approach to life. I am grateful for the opportunity to embark on this transformative experience, and I look forward to the continued growth and self-discovery .

Ken Wilber: "The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs and I found that over the years they just become mean. Somehow it just kind of closes them down. It's like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience" "Ken Wilber in "The Religion of Tomorrow: A Vision for the Future of the Great Traditions" One can step deeply enough into thetimeless Now to step into another dimension altogether—just step right here, and push hard. It’s easy to get lost in those worlds, which are, at bottom, simply different dimensions and perspectives of one’s own (violet) consciousness (although, as noted, from another angle, they are all real, ontologically different realms because they are each genuinely co-enacted by a different perspective in consciousness). Given that this stage is the first great transition from “earthly” realms to “heavenly” realms (as a permanent structural enaction), getting lost in these “higher worlds” is indeed one of the most common dysfunctions of this level. The deeply transcendental, otherworldly, electrically visionary nature of consciousness at this altitude makes fixation to this side of the street an incredibly inviting and alluring venture. This is likely to couple with the dysfunction, discussed earlier, of standing in heaven and giving a blistering critique of life here on earth, with all the semiprophetic pomp and pomposity that comes with it. One of the things that often happens with these specific dysfunctions is that, after making some initial discovery of a timeless Now or pure Present (either in 3rd-tier structures or higher states), one can step into that Present and then step right through it into what seem to be endless, “deeper,” “higher” realms altogether, a kaleidoscopic cascade of universes upon universes that at one point seem to be nothing but a slight wiggle in this moment’s timeless Now, and then at the next explode into almost infinitely extending real realms that are all alive and invite exploration—with a sign on the door that says “Welcome to Heaven!” This is extremely common in high subtle and low causal states, but if it happens with structures, it tends to happen right here, with the violet meta-mind (due largely to its visionary nature). In short, getting “lost in heaven” is the most common dysfunction of this level. As a dysfunction, it is—in terms of simple numbers— much more common as a result of a malformation in high subtle or causal states (given that subtle and causal states are much more common than this high altitude, and most states, and their dysfunctions, can be experienced at almost any structure-stage). But this problem is simply the living result of the enactive nature of the real world and the fact that consciousness can co-create an almost endless number of universes, any number of which one can become fixated or semiaddicted to, with straightforwardly dysfunctional results." More on that topic in this post. As always: Review the evidence (or perspectives), and draw your own conclusions... Water by the River

Yes You Will Know Them by Their Fruits Matthew 7:15-20 Ken Wilber: "The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs and I found that over the years they just become mean. Somehow it just kind of closes them down. It's like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience" And I would be more than happy if Ken Wilbers obversation doesn't hold on certain cases, and further integration and growing gentleness & love & compassion happens. Yet, we have come to see time and time again that all the past declarations of moderation have had their "challenges in implementation". Yours truly has learned the hard way that going aggresive on anything is a less than smart idea, because doing that immediately stops any kind of awakened nondual state by closing down, cutting the flow of bliss, love and compassion from the source. Causing only more suffering on top of the suffering/pain occuring by the thing causing the aggresiveness. There is no stable baseline state of staying awakened without compassion and love. And the alternative to compassion and love can only be ones own suffering. That learning & knowing (and not allowing closing-down emotions&actions) is one of the advantages of going the sobre paths. One learns time and time again not to do certain less than smart stuff because of the negative effect it has on ones state. Instant Karma so to say. There are "security locks" on Nonduality & Awakened states & Enlightenment installed by Reality itself, and of course having an autoimmune/allergic-reaction on something happening in ones visual field, in Ones Own True Being actually, (and that something can be a different opinion written in a forum, criticizing certain core beliefes/values/whatever) splits the Nondual Reality in two and causes duality and suffering. Without compassion & love (in Buddhism Boddhichitta, but all spiritual traditions have this sort of value and practice) it is impossible to truly rest in a stable way in Ones True Nondual Nature. And it is even logical: If one hates a part of oneself, one has an autoimmune/allergic reaction, making one sick/not healthy, and that splits Nonduality into fragments (one fragment/appearance hating the other fragment/appearance): Duality & suffering by definition. Selling Water by the River PS: And "not caring about being human" is of course not the path of differentiation & transcendence and integration (or healthy growth), but differentiation, disassociation and failing integration (sick "growth"), stopping continued transcendence/growth in its tracks, leading to a variety of symptoms and failed growth on many development lines. For more on that, see Ken Wilber growth model, describing in detail exactly what we can watch here. Best described in Wilber, "The Religion of Tomorrow: A Vision for the Future of the Great Traditions" (see quote below). Ken Wilber in "The Religion of Tomorrow: A Vision for the Future of the Great Traditions" One can step deeply enough into thetimeless Now to step into another dimension altogether—just step right here, and push hard. It’s easy to get lost in those worlds, which are, at bottom, simply different dimensions and perspectives of one’s own (violet) consciousness (although, as noted, from another angle, they are all real, ontologically different realms because they are each genuinely co-enacted by a different perspective in consciousness). Given that this stage is the first great transition from “earthly” realms to “heavenly” realms (as a permanent structural enaction), getting lost in these “higher worlds” is indeed one of the most common dysfunctions of this level. The deeply transcendental, otherworldly, electrically visionary nature of consciousness at this altitude makes fixation to this side of the street an incredibly inviting and alluring venture. This is likely to couple with the dysfunction, discussed earlier, of standing in heaven and giving a blistering critique of life here on earth, with all the semiprophetic pomp and pomposity that comes with it. One of the things that often happens with these specific dysfunctions is that, after making some initial discovery of a timeless Now or pure Present (either in 3rd-tier structures or higher states), one can step into that Present and then step right through it into what seem to be endless, “deeper,” “higher” realms altogether, a kaleidoscopic cascade of universes upon universes that at one point seem to be nothing but a slight wiggle in this moment’s timeless Now, and then at the next explode into almost infinitely extending real realms that are all alive and invite exploration—with a sign on the door that says “Welcome to Heaven!” This is extremely common in high subtle and low causal states, but if it happens with structures, it tends to happen right here, with the violet meta-mind (due largely to its visionary nature). In short, getting “lost in heaven” is the most common dysfunction of this level. As a dysfunction, it is—in terms of simple numbers— much more common as a result of a malformation in high subtle or causal states (given that subtle and causal states are much more common than this high altitude, and most states, and their dysfunctions, can be experienced at almost any structure-stage). But this problem is simply the living result of the enactive nature of the real world and the fact that consciousness can co-create an almost endless number of universes, any number of which one can become fixated or semiaddicted to, with straightforwardly dysfunctional results." And for experiencing all of that, meditation and/or Out of body experiences (OBEs) are and have been an alternative methods to psychedelics (which also have been used ever since, see "Secret Drugs of Buddhism: Psychedelic Sacraments and the Origins of the Vajrayana" for example. For access on these realms via meditation/OBEs/psychedelics, see also the work of for example Jürgen Ziewe (OBEs), Christopher Bache, Stanislav Grof, Rick Straussman, Andrew Gallimore, Graham Hancock in Visionary, and so on. Lot of other sources on request. There is nothing new under the sun. "Although my view is higher than the sky, my respect for the cause and effect of actions is as fine as grains of flour" - Padmasambhava