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For anyone with the time and the energy to read it, here's a very long paper published back in May which makes some very interesting points. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.704270/full If I'm understanding them correctly, they seem to be suggesting that ALL consciousness is objective and physical, and that it isn't actually "consciousness" in the way that we're accustomed to thinking about it. They suggest that subjectivity is an illusion and it is merely an impersonal relativistic viewpoint, NOT an internal experience. Sounds incoherent? Take a read. Would be interested in hearing the thoughts of the smarties here.

@Scholar Of couree, the Buddha said it best, that all suffering comes from attachment to impermanent objects. The names, labels and identity markers, Thought images, thought sounds, memories of pressure, texture, temperature, and outer sensations are no exception to the rule, all that relative stuff is just more impermanence. Once any person self inquires long enough and deep enough, then gets the 'no self', or 'true self'. All that identity of I am this or I am that, or this way or that way, stops being too serious, and you kind of get the impersonal side of detachment, or kind of get the compassionate detachment of those labels. At the spiritual level, at the deep end of the pool, especially at the masculine side of spirituality, these issues like gender dysphoria, are little, to non existent. However, very few at at that level, and fewer still will appreciate the detached, impersonal nature of a masculine sided spirituality like that, as most people at stage green development, in the hippie and new age communities, in left leaning politics and SJWs, in the Millennial and zoomer generation, are mostly exposed to feminine spiritual marketing don't see how serious it gets, sees those very serious issues, as nothing more than trivial games. Sounds harsh, sounds psychotic, but that's spirituality at the deep end. On the brighter side of things besides spirituality, it does depend on stage of development, moral and cognitive development, personality typing, states of consciousness, life experiences, domains of life, other lines of development, and other areas of societal development like technology, history, infrastructures ect... Yes, there may be small cases of body dysphoria that is born, similarly to chronic depression for those born from holocaust survivors, and assuming there's an over lap of negative effect that technological development of social media and phones have, plus narrative, and ideoligical misinformation warfare, we have a list of options to go from trying to manage and lessen the evil effects of social media on self image of children and teenagers, but quickly I'd still go for the option to build the infrastructure necessary for higher quality mental health treatments, and sex change surgery, in a regulated environment, which will lessen stigma and encourage an increase of people and training to do the operations. I think this is necessary, because if you don't allow for an environment that regulates for this, and instead discourage sex change surgery, then it decreases the quality of surgeons available to do the op, leading to higber risks of fuck ups in the process, harder access to thses resources, and furthering and maintain stigma around such topics for generations to come. Especially the body dysphoria and stigma, are very complicated issues to fix, because body dysphoria can manifest slightly differently per person, also plus the over use of social media. We can have schizophrenic body dysphoria teens, or autistic or psychopathic body dysphoria children. We can have peole who are very extroverted, so they don't realise until later in life they were suffering from body dysphoria, or are extremely introverted that they are acutely aware of it, but don't share that suffering to the outside world. We may encounter someone with multiple personality disorder, have body dysphoria, and multiple internalized roles of the self, but it's only one of the personalities that has it and not the main one and the person has their way of dealing with the body dysphoria. All that, plus the latest pop culture trend, rap music, soft rock, Tik Tok post, mean trolling comments or whatever. It gets tricky to find the exact root cause suffering per person as each one really has different cognitive types and developments to negotiate and compromise with. Each person also has different moral developments. Regarding empathy I'd be careful here, as I do have some empathy but I don't have enough to exactly change my state of being, to become that person so on this point I have little for people suffering this particular issue. I notice a trend with MR. Girl, and how he weaponized empathy against some of the people he speaks to, and because of his relationship with Destiny, and he's ban from supposedly a transphobic joke, and Mr. Girl's past conflicts with hos mom and an ex and hoenstly any person resembling a female, we have to be careful to not mistake his empathy as genuine, it could be weaponized and is influenced by those events. And he loves kids too much, so don't be excited to cite him as your main source of evidence too. Be careful.

Great talk for beginners but still quite superficial. Not to diminish or invalidated his experiences at all, but of course there is much further to go. Working through personal ego stuff, trauma release, etc, is an extremely important part of the psychedelic experience. But eventually, the ego completely collapses and dissolves. After that it's completely impersonal and more about reality understanding itself as a whole at a deeper and deeper levels. And I don't hear that Tucker is going that far. I don't hear it from anyone except for the obvious.

God is Both form and formless. Since God is unlimited, He cannot be limited to being either formless or having a form. Since God is everything, He must possess both form and formlessness. God is unlimited, and His form, consisting of eternity, knowledge and bliss, is also unlimited. Usually form is defined by limitations in space, so an unlimited form is inconceivable to us. It would be the same as formless. Still, for the simple reason that one cannot love the impersonal, unlimited feature of God. One can only love a person. Therefore we say that God is both the formed world and impersonal formless at the same time . You can't escape this problem. You can't lean towards one or another (form or formless). It's both .

I don’t know what “flow” you are talking about. The flow I was referring to doesn’t have any cognition of the so-called ego. If there is any ego there, it is not a true state of impersonal awareness. If you truly entered that state even once, you would recognize that there wasn’t anyone there to register this fact. You can only notice postfactum.

Any reasoning reinforces the observer and observation phenomenon. Notice it. “I think therefore I am”, means not your physical existence but rather a mental construct of the ego-mind mechanism. I am talking about impersonal awareness. How do you know is the reinforcement of the idea that there should be “I” and a knowledge on top of it. Anything revolves around “I” including your knowledge and all the philosophy is based on this idea. It is a self-perpetuated machine, never ending mind game. There is an access to the Truth without any egoic assumption of the mind. It is pure impersonal Being.

@melontonin You can see how it works on a small scale: ex. You think of think of drinking water ------> then you actually go do it and have the experience. ------ So we can assume it can work on a bigger scale aswell. Harder to do and to prove but we can get some hints. Ex. Manipulating your feelings, beliefs and mindset is already a form of law of attraction applied. By having the right kind of feeling, right now, throwing in the bin limiting beliefs, replacing them with better beliefs, having a clearer and detailed idea of what you want, you are in a sense, already closer to your goal. If you apply this priciples, tied with visualization for example, you'll start to get syncronicities etc., and those are certainly real, and are not mistakable for "random coincidences". Look at Jung's work for referance. This of course doesn't mean that you should be sitting for the fruit to fall in you hand, work and action is still needed, so as it is said: "God helps those who help themselves". no magic, this is being logical. This is true, but doesn't disprove the law of attraction, because reality is impersonal, but still structured by laws. In the Dream, you know the laws well enough, you can know how to use them, an if you know howw to use them, you can get what you want faster.

Why do you keep framing it like this instead of just saying "they're ultimately you". As long as they have a POV, it'd be better to say "they're real/imaginary in the same way that you are" to avoid misconceptions. Sometimes you get us thinking that our perspective is the Absolute and not just an infinitesimally small part of it. Honestly, I'd like to know why you feel this way despite being aware of how wildly different from you they can be. This is why the whole "others are you" thing hasn't really changed me much, if at all. Since Infinity is unknowable and an infinite mystery, "others" could be represented in a way that your character literally couldn't make sense of, and apart from that, you'll never fully understand yourself as God, which means others could be anything at all. And that doesn't necessarily mean that they are you since we don't even know what you are. You could say though that they're made from the same thing you are made of perhaps? Idk but this God thing seems infinitely impersonal to me. Watch out for it becoming an ego thing is my advice.

Consciousness is all well and good. But it is not God-realization. The point is not to realize everything is consciousness -- of course it is. The point is the realize you are the one and only God. To speak of form and formlessness is really missing the point. That's far too disconnected from your own Godhood. Be careful talking about Truth as something impersonal. It's YOU!

@Galyna when there is an impersonal sense of awareness time seems to pass neither fast or slowly, the moment seems to be totally out of time, it's hard to explain it in words. I mean...when you are having a great conversation which just flows and you get "lost" in the moment and in the reflection of "another", you can only make sense of time when you get back to the concept of time and try to make sense of it.

Time is a mental construct of the ego-mind. Time only arises when there is an identity to whom this time exists. I have noticed that when "I shifts" toward impersonal perception, times slows down vs when "I" focuses on the identity. Similar to undifferentiated attention that flows freely and does not stick on objects and things. Rather it becomes what it "sees" ( do you understand what I am talking about @Someone here? ) I am sorry if it is a bit convoluted. I've described it in my " Collapse of dualities" post. Have you ever become it, when you are looking at something/someone and the feeling of this dense "I" disappears? Inner and outer collapses into One experience which does not have any cognition of self. Einstein proved that time is relative in his Theory of relativity, time depends upon your vantage point, and so there is no single absolute time. Therefore, it is highly relative and hinges upon itself. It is highly subjective and therefore! it is an illusion. Let's even drop science....what is time truly? Memory that is created by the liner perception and sequencies of events. But everything that has ever happened unfolds right now in your field of awareness, do you agree with me? Time is a quality of consciousness so it can self reflect upon itself and create the illusion of physical reality. When people refer to the prove aka from the past like pics and things, they do not understand that illusion of physical reality unfolds as they go creating their past pictures and notions of the past events in their minds. Simple answer hides with the non-dual, non-liner perception. Have you ever noticed that the nature of Consciousness is "to become what it creates" Why do we even say non-dual? Because there is only One thing that can exist at a time, even though there are many appearances that "pretend" to happen simultaneously, but one is always being held within the conscious experience. Very simple to check, try to concentrate on many things at a time and see. There is always one primal perception and "other things" that happen on the background of it. That is the quality of mind to put tag on something it fails to comprehend. We do not have a direct experience of it, it is just a theory that does not hold any ground. Just bunch of symbols, do you agree with me? And yes, so true, because there is nobody there to be aware of it. The biggest joke of Lila. Bury the "character" and they will take "time" with them into the "grave". Sommie, you made a great point. Thanks for putting some time to explain things. But you have not answered my question from the relative standpoint. I was just curious how people perceive the flow of time when experience the impersonal awareness. Does it slow down or get faster for you? I agree with everything you say, but on the personal level, what has changed for "you" with awakening in terms of time flow. Thank you....

Guys, can you pls share what happened with your time perception after awakening? Either I am getting crazy or something has happened with time perception for this “l”. Last week was experienced as one day. But now for some mystical reason time slowes down. I have noticed that it correlates with impersonal perception. Seems like time is so fast when you fully become what you experience. I know there is no time, but if we talk from a relative point of view…is it normalcy?

Cognition is the biggest obstacle to Enlightenment. Atman is not a realization, it cannot be achieved, it’s always present, however, it is hidden! The reason you cannot become IT because your thoughts are superimposed on the Being (Amness/Atman) which in terms creates the illusion of ego, false knowledge of your true nature. “I am…” is the thought, root of all suffering and all the falsehood is dancing around this cognition, and enforced by it, by I AM something. Guys, I want to share with you step by step practice that helped to recognize impersonal awareness. Disclaimer: there is no doer in this process, there is no “I”, “me”, blah blah blah. Using these nouns to help others, no more, no less. Step one: Observer and observation: notice the thoughts and notice something/someone who observes them. This is your mind creating the split between the observation and the observer. Step two: Observer and the Void! State of mind where it masquerades itself under the guise of void. No thoughts state is still your mind’s games. One is creating the state of silence, another is watching that silence (both of them are your mind) . Still two! Notice it. Background. Space. The absence of any thoughts is still…..a subtle game. Still separation because one is noticing and the other is thinking, even this void, no thoughts is still a separation, meditative space in your mind is still a separation, because there is a cognition that meditations occur to someone, void occurs to someone, in this case minds pretends its void, it can even pretend to be quiet and non-talkative, but notice mind is still there, so funny. Still two. You and another you which still thinks there is no mind, aka some progress hahahah. I was stuck in this phase years and years. Step three: total collapse of the cognition, final surrender. In this state of Being, you won’t be able to recognize any void, any space, any observer with the observable. You become literally Reality itself. There won’t be any inner/outer separation. You look at the chair, you become a chair and observation of it, nut now you are aware and one. Observer is not there any longer. If there is still a notion/cognition or any separation, you haven’t got it. If any thoughts that follow/above/beyond this cognition is still a mind. If you are fully present, in the state of Being, if you become what you see, literally, you won’t be able to register “I” on top of the experience. There won’t be any room for the observer and the observation. It is nothingness! Awareness which is not aware of Itself! You won’t be able to register or observe any experience. You won’t have any cognition. But you will exist as an experience. How cool is that? The only way you will be able to register it, understand, cognize is a post factum, in the retrospection. But not when you are it! Because pure consciousness can only become either one, no two! It will be either the non-cognitive experience, or the thought ( I am the observer of the experience). Two different states of Being. You real face is in the absence of any image, experience, cognition. Just a pure non-dual awareness!

Ok. So I clicked this thread because I was baited by the title, right. I read your statement, "Gives me chills that this kind of romantic interaction exists and is actually possible." Did a little internal chuckle, my pride showing there. "They can't be that special." Interesting that I preemptively diminished the greatness of others. Was I feeling threatened somehow? I start watching. I'm impressed by Eben's ability to connect his feelings to his body. I tend to imagine feelings as omnipresent. But he would pinpoint them, so now I'm wondering if there's more for me to learn. Still not amazed tho Annie begins speaking. I'm immediately floored by the ridiculous amount of responsibility she's taking. When Eben spoke, he seemed to just say the event trigger and then the brute facts of what he experienced. With Annie, she spoke more about her self image and all of her reported sensations had a personal twist. Shame, for example, is such a dynamic emotion. She's wrestling with the emotion. Whereas Eben would speak of his feelings as though they were parts in a machine (at one point he said "black and white needles," etc.), it felt more impersonal with him. 8:48 comes along. I have to fucking pause. Jesus. "I need you to tell me that it's ok to be sad" ... "your sadness is beautiful" Bro I'm not crying, you are ????? Ok, you win. It hit me too. One thought I had in hindsight is that, Eben's overexplaining after the emotional release killed the magic a little, but perhaps it was necessary for a room full of clients. It's weird to think that this whole thing was, despite being very real, also in some ways a drama for the audience. That is the nature of public talks. If Eben really sank into the silence (which is what my intuition says would've been best) and allowed Annie to express even more, the love between them would've grown even higher. But unfortunately the audience doesn't have that kind of patience. Perhaps even deeper, and now I'm projecting, but I felt that Eben did an oopsie around 10:55 when he recounted his wife's vulnerability as "not coherent" and "not going anywhere." Look at the stiffness of her face for the next 20 seconds after that lol. It seems to me that in this clip, Eben still put too much of a subtle emphasis on "fixing your wife's sourness." He says "your sadness is beautiful" but then basically lectures to the audience about how he managed to "fix" Annie's "incoherent" narrative. The victory of the mood change was capitalized on, turned into content. Furthermore, Annie JUST said that she felt like her voice was not given a chance to speak as much, and yet he just monologues after her moment of vulnerability. Did he really even register what she said? Hence, at 13:58 when he asks, how are you feeling, she fakes the reply, "Great!" But then admits that she was lying, but then lies again by saying "I feel soft." Because she feels like she can't bring up this same issue again. She has to save face for the seminar to keep running. She has to keep pretending she's not sad. Well, this was 2012 lol. I'm sure a decade has made them significantly wiser to each other's needs

It is common to ask, "How do I know that I am not just making all this stuff up? How can I talk with someone who is only a figment of my imagination?" It is nearly impossible to produce anything in the imagination that is not an authentic representation of something in the unconscious, you are talking with your various selves, that is the whole point, the figures are autonomous, this is something we do not want to hear as it is a frightening reality to know that we are not the master of our house. Active imagination does not only have to do with immediate issues in our personal lives, but can also take the form of a mythical adventure, a journey into the archetypal realm, setting foot into a land of evil, taking on a heroic quest to heal the sick and wounded and helping an innocent queen. Each of us has all the great archetypal themes hidden inside, however few of us can actually partake in this great primordial energy within us unlike our primitive ancestors. This kind of active imagination connects us to the timeless cosmic dance of the archetypes that goes on eternally in the unconscious. It is a way of discovering how those universal energies flow through us as individuals and express themselves in a unique and special way within our individual personalities. Jung's technique of amplification helps to interpret these images by using mythological, historical and cultural parallels in order to turn up the volume on the fantasy material. Four-step approach on how to get started with active imagination: *It is important to find a convenient way to record the imagination as it flows out, many give up before they get started because they can't figure this out - your inner dialogue should be written, types or recorded, this is your protection against passive fantasy - the writing will help you remember and digest experience. You should not try to dress up your imagination and make it sound impressive incase someone happens to read or listen and it is something you do for yourself. The goal is to experience and record whatever flows out of your unconscious, honestly, in it's role, spontaneous - there must be a room that is quiet and private enough to shut out the world, a half an hour, and you must be alone without disturbance. You are entitled to that freedom, privacy and security, you need it in order to make your journey into the inner world. You should feel free to let out your raw feelings or emotions without worry. The first step in active imagination: Invite the creatures of the unconscious to come up to the surface and make contact with us. Every interaction helps up to develop the organs of perception of the imaginal world. We often have something vague and invisible in the unconscious that bothers us, we can feel the conflict below the surface, but we can't see what it going on - we can't associate it with anything specific. Some times it is an inexplicable free floating anger, we can't say why we are angry or at what, we just feel it, moods, worries, depressions, inflations and obsessions all come. When this happens you can go to the unconscious in your imagination and ask the unseen content to personify self, you can start your active imagination by asking: Where is the obsession? Who is obsessed? Where does this feeling come from? Who is the one inside me who feels this way? What is it's image? What does he or she look like? If you do this, an image eventually comes into your mind - we invite the inner persons to start the dialogue. By taking our minds off of the external world and focusing on the imagination, we can direct our inner eye to a place inside us, then we wait to see who will show up. To invite the inner figures we need to empty the ego mind, we clear the mind of all thoughts of the external world and simply wait with an allured and attentive attitude to see who or what will appear. If you see someone, you can begin by asking: Who are you? What do you want? What do you have to say? You dialogue begins - surrender yourself to the experience and don't try to control or push the imagination in any direction. If you have fantasy material that has been in your mind all day, you can assume that it is expressing one of the main conflicts where psychic energy is concentrated in you. You can begin by going to that specific place as a starting point for active imagination instead of passively watching the same fantasy repeating over and over, you carry the material forward. You can also start this by embodying one of you inner figures and assume their consciousness, or make you invitation by going to a symbolic place in your imagination. There have been a few days when I walked and walked and almost nothing happened, sometimes you grow weary walking but generally if you go to the inner place and search you'll find someone waiting for you. Jun also found that active imagination could be used for understanding dreams - if you have a recent dream that you recall or a reoccurring dream, you can extend the dream by imagining where it left off and in this manner you can continue and interact with the dream bye extending it out. This is a legitimate process as the dream and imagination come from the same source in the unconscious. It allows you to continue the story and go to the next step the dream is leaning towards and bring the whole issue to a resolution. Dreaming increases when one does active imagination, the issues that would be presented in dreams are confronted and worked out - as such dreams become more focused and concentrated and less repetitious. For dreams to not waste your time, Jung used to describe this method for people who were too overwhelmed by intense and frequent dreams. You have invited the unconscious, the images have risen up into your imagination, now you're ready to begin the second step. Below the willow tree Is where I hide the darkest parts of me They're hiding underneath The broken lies that I just still believe Below the willow tree Is where I sit and hate on my enemies I drown 'em in my dreams I think it's me who needs some humility The dialogue: This is to give yourself over to the imagination and letting it flow, to let the inner figures have a life of their own in your imagination, you begin to talk and interact with beings who answer back. They express different viewpoints from those of your conscious mind. They tell you things you never consciously knew and express thoughts that you never consciously thought. To begin the writing process, the alterations must be noted for they reflect the psychic processes in the unconscious background which appear in the form of images consisting of conscious memory material. In this way conscious and unconscious are united. By focusing on your writing, you concentrate and experience the active imagination more deeply, protection you from wandering off into passive fantasies that creep in from the edges of the mind. Often the inner person will lead you off on a path, if you feel that it is wrong to follow the person you have the right to say so, that in turn will often lead to a heated discussion of the conflict between this inner person and yourself. The dialogue has begun and the different parts of the self are learning from each other. Most people do a fair amount of talking in active imagination, exchanging views and trying to work out opposing views, even asking for advice from some very wise ones who live in the unconscious, however not all dialogue is verbal, it can also take the form of images that speak to you without words. It is important to stick with the image that we start with and not allow one's self to be distracted by other fantasy material. It may take days, weeks or even years for certain fantasy to be resolved, you must be present with your feelings and sense that it is actually happening. You're not merely an observer, but an active participant. Do not try to dominate or manipulate a conversation either, active imagination is a process of listening either to the words or the images. After so many years of ignoring these parts of ourselves, we find they have some unpleasant things to tell us when we finally listen. They may also appear as frightening and threatening; this is your golden shadow which you must wrestle with to find you undiscovered potential. We must turn a friendly face to the unconscious and it is when we listen and give them time to express themselves that we can gain new insights that can be integrated into our conscious life. We know that the mask of the unconscious is not rigid, it reflects the face we turn towards it - hostility lends it a threatening aspect, friendliness softens it's features. The ego is a small island surrounded by deep unseen ocean of energy where huge forces are at work. Active imagination is underwater diving. Though our ego is small, we shouldn't take everything the inner figures say as authority, that will be just as one-sided as our ego centered approach. Active imagination starts out from affirming that the unconscious has it's own wisdom, it should not be confused with guided meditation practice which seeks to program the unconscious so that it will do what the ego wants it to do - there is no script, you will have to go your own way, which is both terrifying and exhilarating. You must ultimately walk the path alone. The values: Ethics means proper conduct, it in tern derives from the Greek word ethos, meaning the essential spirit of a person or people. I It sets limits to protect the imaginative process from being inhuman or destructive. The Universe is awesome and beautiful, but it's forces behave in a way that is amoral. They are not concerned as we are with this specifically human value of justice, fairness, service to our fellow humans. These primitive archetypes serve a realm close to the instincts. The do not have a superego, socially appropriate behaviour. And since the creature who arise in our active imagination and personifications of the impersonal forces of nature, it is we who must bring the ethical into active imagination, but not all archetypes are like this. Some may be concerned with human values, some may be concerned with human values like love and moral responsibility. There is truth and wisdom in every figure that comes to us and they help us compensate the one-sidedness of our ego. It is as much the ego's duty to bring reasonability as it is to tend to the welfare of our fellow humans in the outside world. The images of the unconscious plays a great responsibility upon a man, failure to understand them, shirking our responsibility deprives him of his wholeness and fractions his life. The rituals: To bring the active imagination of the abstract level, we must give it the concreteness of immediate physical experience, the most important step of all is for the images of the unconscious to find their place and purpose in one's outer life. Don't take our conflicts and urges and try to live them out externally or literally by projecting onto external people. For this reason it is important that one should not call to mind the image of those close to us and start talking with that person in one's imagination. It is confusing the inner with the outer reality. If asked the inner figure will almost always cooperate and alter his or her appearance, you can then enter into your dialogue with a clear sense that you are talking with a part of yourself and not an external human being. To incarnate the experience we must do a physical ritual or integrate what we have learned in our daily life. This can be taking time alone to be aware of one's feelings, lighting a candle or incense, walking, reconnecting to the physical world, making it tangible with art, etc. Jun's ritual was the calligraphy and art in the Red Book, which occupied him for many years. He took his communication with the unconscious seriously and valued it greatly. Each ritual must be custom made out of the raw material of your own inner self. Keep your ritual small and subtle and they will be more powerful, the best rituals are physical, solitary and silent, these are the one's that register most deeply with the unconscious. Ritual in it's true form is one of the most meaningful channels for our awe and sense of worship, this is why ritual came spontaneously into being among humans in all parts of the earth - this is why modern people were deprived of meaningful ritual feel a sense of emptiness, they are denied contact with the great archetypes that nourish our soul life.

ESTJ ESTJ: The Director (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) ESTJs are often described as logical, take-charge kind of people. They are assertive and are very concerned with making sure that things run smoothly and according to the rules. They are committed to tradition, standards, and laws. They have strong beliefs and possess sensible judgment, and expect that other people uphold these same principles as well. David Keirsey, the creator of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, suggests that the ESTJ personality type is the "Guardian Supervisor," one of four "Guardian" archetypes (Supervisor, Inspector, Provider, Protector) Key ESTJ Characteristics Individuals with this personality type tend to place a high value on tradition, rules, and security. Maintaining the status quo is important to ESTJs, and they often become involved in civic duties, government branches, and community organizations. Because of their orthodox approach to life, they can sometimes be seen as rigid, stubborn, and unyielding. Their take-charge attitude makes it easy for ESTJs to assume leadership positions. Their self-confidence and strong convictions help them excel at putting plans into action, but they can at times appear critical and overly aggressive, particularly when other people fail to live up to their high standards. People often describe ESTJs as predictable, stable, committed, and practical. They tend to be very frank and honest when it comes to sharing their opinions, which can sometimes be seen as harsh or overly critical. Strengths Practical and realistic Dependable Self-confident Hard-working Traditional Strong leadership skills Weaknesses Insensitive Inflexible Not good at expressing feelings Argumentative Bossy Dominant: Extraverted Thinking ESTJs rely on objective information and logic to make decisions rather than personal feelings.4 They are skilled at making objective, impersonal, and impartial decisions. Rather than focusing on their own subjective feelings when they are making judgments, they consider facts and logic in order to make rational choices. People with ESTJ personality types tend to be very practical. They enjoy learning about things that they can see an immediate, real-world use for, but tend to lose interest in things that are abstract or theoretical. ESTJs enjoy concrete facts as opposed to abstract information. They are good at making fast and decisive choices, but they may often rush to judgment before considering all the information about a situation. One positive side, this trait makes them good leaders, but it can sometimes lead them to being viewed as harsh or abrasive. Auxiliary: Introverted Sensing They are good at remembering things with a great deal of detail. Their memories of past events can be quite vivid, and they often utilize their recollections of past experiences to make connections with present events. Because their sensing function is focused inwardly, they tend to be less concerned with novelty and more focused on familiarity. They enjoy having habits and routines that they can depend upon. While this gives them stability and predictability, it can also make them stubborn and unyielding at times. Tertiary: Extraverted Intuition This aspect of personality seeks out novel ideas and possibilities. It compels people with this personality type to explore their creativity. As they process new ideas and information, they may explore the possible meanings in order to spot new connections or patterns. This allows them to look at incoming information and recognize that there may be more than one interpretation or possible outcome. Inferior: Introverted Feeling When this function is used, it may lead ESTJs to make decisions based more on feelings than on logic. These are often internal valuations that lead to "gut feelings" about some situations. While this function is not used as often, in some cases a person might allow their subjective feelings to override their objective interpretation of a situation. ESTJs tend to give much thought to their own emotions, so this function often operates on a largely unconscious basis.. Personal Relationships As extroverts, ESTJs are very outgoing and enjoy spending time in the company of others. They can be very boisterous and funny in social situations and often enjoy being at the center of attention. Family is also of the utmost importance to ESTJs. They put a great deal of effort into fulfilling their family obligations. Social events are also important and they are good at remembering important events such as birthdays and anniversaries. They look forward to attending weddings, family reunions, holiday parties, class reunions, and other occasions. One potential area of weakness for ESTJs is their tendency to be rigid when it comes to rules and routines. They take their own opinion quite seriously, and are often less inclined to listen to what others have to say on a subject. Career Paths Because they appreciate order and organization, they frequently do well in supervisory roles.4 When in such positions, they are committed to making sure that members of the group follow rules and traditions and law established by higher authorities In school and work situations, ESTJs are very hard-working and dependable.4 They strive to follow directions to the letter and show a great deal of respect and deference for authority figures. They are thorough and punctual about completing their work, and rarely question or complain about the work they have to do. ESTJs have a wide range of personality characteristics that help them excel at a number of different careers. Their emphasis on rules and procedures make them well-suited to supervisory and management positions, while their respect for laws, authority, and order help them excel in law enforcement roles.. Popular ESTJ Careers Police officer Military Judge Politician Teacher School administrator Business manager Accountant Banker Friendships People with this personality type are sociable and enjoy getting their friends involved in activities that they enjoy. ESTJs often value dependability over almost everything else. If you are a stable friend who sticks to your commitments, you will likely be able to forge a strong friendships with an ESTJ. Parenting ESTJs children tend to be very responsible and goal-directed, but be cautious to avoid placing too many expectations on your child's shoulders. They enjoy structure and routine. While they are good at being self-directed, they still need guidance and rules to give them the security they crave. Relationships ESTJs are dependable and take their commitments seriously. Once they have dedicated themselves to a relationship, they will stay true to it for life. They tend to avoid emotions and feelings, which can be difficult for their partners as times. While they may not express how they feel through words, remember that they will often convey their emotions through actions.

I'm taking Adya's "Fierce Love" course, and he's also saying that ultimate reality is beyond love, but that love is one of the first manifestations of ultimate reality. That's represented by the map of consciousness too. At the top of the map, you have pure consciousness, which is an infinite field of potentiality that manifests as peace, joy, and love. Ultimate reality is not indifferent; it's impersonal. The view of God as indifferent is at the level of pride. However, at the top of the map, God simply is. The point of life is to become more like God and manifest peace, joy, and love. To do that, you need courage. Courage alone is powerful; it's the foundation and it's connected to all of the other noble values of humanity: integrity, honesty, unity, truth, peace, joy, and love. When you listen to interviews with Rowling, she talks about her value of courage. And we all know the impact she had. Ramana's definition of enlightenment was "absolute courage in all situations."

Perceiver's choice to look at a text and see it as spiritual narcissism, or to see the love, time, effort and diligence being put in by the writer. Sometimes it's actually so impersonal, the text being written; as if the writer is processing the information for themselves - that it almost becomes personal for the reader/audience. If you feel like it's targeted or being too much, try to look at it from a different perspective. It might not be so personal after all (relative) You can also take it to the next level, go a bit more meta, and realize that whoever is writing and reading these posts, is the same perceiver. But you would have to open your sense of Self more and more, and realize the Love behind Everything. That it is all you (absolute) Same thing with this text above, you can look at it being narcissistic and trying to be "better" than you. Or you can realize that it's an Invitation for you/me, to expand our perspectives and realize the Oneness/Togetherness that is permeating all of it, Right Now

3 Thinking vs. Feeling The Thinking (T) and Feeling (F) Preference pair refers to how people make decisions, either by objective logic or subjective feeling. Thinking and Feeling are opposite Preferences. A person’s natural tendency toward one will be stronger than the other. This isn’t to say, however, that Thinkers don’t feel emotions or that Feelers can’t use their heads. Here, this concept is a matter of instinct. If faced with a situation, Feelers would be more inclined to react emotionally or empathize with the feelings of others, contrary to Thinkers, who would take a more pragmatic and logic-driven course of action. If the situation calls for it, Feelers can push their nature aside; however, this wouldn’t be an easy thing to do. The same applies to Thinkers; they can consider emotions and examine how their actions influence others, but it can take a bit more effort. Thinking (T) Thinking people are objective. When they have to make a decision, they focus on facts and concrete information. They are people who are ruled by their head instead of their heart. In many cases, Thinkers value truth over tact and can easily identify flaws. They are critical thinkers and oriented toward problem solving. To them, knowledge is the only tool for coming up with the best course of action. When they interact with others, they are driven by effectiveness and fairness. This can make them seem distant to those around them, but don’t be fooled – Thinkers aren’t emotionless. They simply aren’t that comfortable with emotions, which are out of line with their usual rational path. They are able to feel deeply – just not when a decision needs to be made. Thinkers have the ability to put their feelings at bay and handle any situation with objectivity and logic. Thinking Characteristics Logical Objective Decides with head Wants truth Rational Impersonal Critical thinkers Thick-skinned Firm with people Thinking Personality Types ESTJ – The Administrator ESTP – The Daredevil ENTJ – The General ENTP – The Debater ISTJ – The Archivist ISTP – The Tinkerer INTJ – The Mastermind INTP – The Logician Feeling (F) People with the Feeling Preference are subjective. They follow their hearts more than their heads – sometimes even without realizing it. Although the visibility of this Preference may show up in different degrees from person to person, Feelers often are caring, warm and empathetic. They are very concerned with the wellbeing of their loved ones and will likely go out of their way to help them, should the need occur. This might be an admirable quality but it’s easy for Feelers to neglect taking care of themselves, which can lead to burnout. Additionally, Feeling people are driven by their strict principles and values, which can cause them to be too self critical and hard on themselves if they don’t live up to their own expectations. As much as these people are invested in keeping the balance and harmony in every aspect of their lives, this doesn’t mean there is no logic in their actions. To them, emotions can’t simply be disregarded and instead should be embraced. Feeling Characteristics Decides with heart Dislikes conflict Passionate Driven by emotion Gentle Easily hurt Empathetic Caring of others Warm Feeling Personality Types ESFJ – The Caregiver ESFP – The Entertainer ENFJ – The Guide ENFP – The Optimist ISFJ – The Defender ISFP – The Adventurer INFJ – The Sage INFP – The Mediator 4 Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P) The Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) Preference pair refers to how a person interacts with the world outside themselves, either in a structured or in a flexible manner. Judging and Perceiving are opposite Preferences. A person’s natural tendency toward one will be stronger than the other. These Preferences aren’t only concerned with day-to-day tasks or work related activities. They can also reflect how people deal with the various options in front of them. Judging and Perceiving preferences give answers to questions such as: “Do I feel comfortable making my bed in the morning or should I keep it messy?”, “Do I need more choices or fewer?”, or “Does chaos motivate me, or do I thrive in structure and order?” Judging (J) Judging people think sequentially. They value order and organization, and thus feel best when they have a clear course of action ahead. Nothing is more important to them than following a schedule and establishing a structure in their lives. They would prefer to come up with as many backup plans as possible to avoid facing uncertainty in any shape or form. Judging people see no point in going with the flow and instead seek closure and enjoyment in completing tasks. To these people, deadlines are not to be taken lightly. If they are not careful, however, they may appear too rigid in the eyes of others. Yet, Judging people can adapt to their environment when they need to. If they encounter a high demand for flexibility and uncertainty, though, they will likely be left stressed and frustrated. Keep in mind that the Judging Preference does not mean judgmental. Rather, Judging refers to how a person deals with day-to-day activities. Judging Characteristics Decisive Controlled Good at finishing Organized Structured Scheduled Quick at tasks Responsible Likes closure Makes plans Judging Personality Types ESTJ – The Administrator ESFJ – The Caregiver ENTJ – The General ENFJ – The Guide ISTJ – The Archivist ISFJ – The Defender INTJ – The Mastermind INFJ – The Sage Perceiving (P) Perceivers are adaptable and flexible. They are people who thrive when the unexpected strikes, and they are adept at spotting unexpected opportunities as well. They are random thinkers who prefer to keep their options open. Instead of trying to control their environment, they react to it accordingly, which helps them manage whatever may come their way. Perceivers believe the world is full of possibilities, though this way of thinking does have its faults. People with this Preference can easily be overwhelmed by the many options they see out in the world and can be prone to impulsive-decision making. Their “gray” mentality prevents them from thinking in black-and-white extremes but also makes it difficult for them to commit to anything. This avoidance of commitment shows in their work as well, as they are very good at starting projects but not so good at finishing them. To Perceivers, deadlines are often merely suggestions. Perceiving Characteristics Adaptable Relaxed Disorganized Care-free Spontaneous Changes tracks midway Keeps options open Procrastinates Dislikes routine Flexible Perceiving Personality Types ESTP – The Daredevil ESFP – The Entertainer ENTP – The Debater ENFP – The Optimist ISTP – The Tinkerer ISFP – The Adventurer INTP – The Logician INFP – The Mediator

This looked like a great share opportunity ❤ "I’ve found it interesting to notice and get curious about the undercurrent of restlessness or dissatisfaction that shows up sometimes in my experience and I suspect in that of most other human beings as well. We may find that this is sometimes quite strong and overt, and at other times, it is a very subtle, barely detectible undercurrent—a slight tension in the bodymind that is perhaps almost always there to some subtle degree, even in moments of pleasure. It often manifests as the attempt to manipulate, control, change or understand experience. It might show up for some as an effort to identify as awareness and not as a bodymind, or as an effort to be mindful (to “be here now”) all the time. It might be the sense that something needs to happen, shift, clarify, drop away or be found. It might be a feeling that we can’t stand being here in this mind or this body or this situation. It emerges from a sense of separation—a sense of fundamental lack, of not being okay, of something missing or something frightening or threatening. Nisargadatta described consciousness as an itching rash that comes upon us. Consciousness seemingly divides up the indivisible wholeness and freezes formlessness into apparently separate forms, giving rise to the sense of being an encapsulated separate self and the inevitable feelings of dissatisfaction, lack and endless seeking that follow from that. Buddha called it suffering, the delusion of being a persisting, separate somebody, driven by fear and desire. Adi Da, a controversial America guru (about whom I have very mixed feelings), often posed the question, “What are you always doing?” He was pointing to what he called the self-contraction. And he said, "Your suffering is your own activity. It is something that you are doing moment to moment....You will continue to pursue every kind of means until you realize that all you are doing is pinching yourself. When you realize that, you just take your hand away. There is nothing complicated about it. But previous to that, it is an immensely complicated problem.” He also said, “The self is just like this clenched fist. Relax the fist and there is nothing inside... We are never at any moment in the dilemma we fear ourselves to be." We often think so-called spiritual awakening is about getting something or finding the Truth. But it’s more about seeing the false as false, seeing through unnecessary mental activities, noticing and relaxing that metaphorical clenched fist in the bodymind. And we can’t actually “do” relaxing—that would be a contradiction in terms. In the seeing (i.e., awaring) of the tension, there is a natural relaxing that happens by itself—the storylines begin to lose their believability and their grip loosens. The clenched fist opens. It isn’t a willful efforting—it’s a relaxing, a letting go, an opening, a surrendering. It happens spontaneously. And it rarely, if ever, happens once and for all. It’s always about right now. And sometimes, relaxing doesn’t happen. And then, it may be possible to notice that even the contraction or the tension is never really a problem—it is simply an impersonal energetic movement of this aliveness, a momentary dance that presence is doing. Taking it personally, giving it meaning, viewing it as “The Obstruction Standing Between Me and My Awakening” and then trying really hard to get rid of it, is all only a new meta form of the very problem it is trying to cure—a problem about the problem. This efforting to get rid of effort, or trying to stop trying, is a common unintended side effect of otherwise potentially helpful pointers and practices such as recognizing ourselves as boundless awareness or impersonal presence, or “being here now,” or even attending talks by someone like Tony Parsons in which we are told that there is nothing to do and no one to do it. All of these things, when slightly misunderstood, can inadvertently feed into the very problem they are designed to expose or undermine. The medicine that we need to cure a physical illness often has unintended but unavoidable side effects. For example, radiation treatments successfully and blessedly dissolved a cancerous tumor in this body that would have killed me, but it also caused some secondary collateral damage that continues to unfold (as they knew it would, and as I was told about in advance, and which was a price I was willing to pay). In a similar way, spiritual practices and pointers can also have unintended collateral side effects or potential pitfalls. They can inadvertently reinforce the sense that “this isn’t it,” that “something needs to happen,” that there is someone here who needs to do something to finally be okay or complete or happy or enlightened. They can reinforce a dualistic sense of success and failure, okay and not-okay, a striving for future results, an endless evaluating of how we are doing, comparing ourselves to others, and believing that the speaker at the front of the room or the author of the book has something the rest of us don’t. As with the radiation that cured my cancer, this doesn’t mean these pointers and practices are terrible and should not be used. It seems to be part of the journey from Here to Here that we inevitably stumble into various misunderstandings and their associated pitfalls (or unintended side effects), and then eventually (with luck), we wake up from them—or we don’t, and that, too, is simply how this dance is dancing. Often different teachings serve as antidotes to the unintended pitfalls of other teachings. Thus, in my own journey, Toni Packer helped to dissolve some of the pitfalls inadvertently induced by Zen; radical nonduality helped to dissolve some of the pitfalls inadvertently induced by Toni’s approach; various Buddhist teachers and more encounters with Toni helped to dissolve some of the pitfalls induced by radical nonduality; and so on and on. In one moment we need mindfulness meditation, in another moment we need Rupert Spira or Gangaji or Adyashanti, in another moment we need Karl Renz or Jim Newman or Peter Brown, and in another moment we need Robert Saltzman or Shiv Sengupta. It’s not about one being right and the other being wrong. It’s about pulling the most recent rug we’re standing on out from under us again and again and waking us up to THIS, right here, right now. The mind is infinitely skilled at turning rug-pulling and rug-less-ness into an imaginary new apparently solid rug upon which we can stand. Thus, waking up is not once-and-for-all, but always NOW. So, you may find it interesting to give open nonjudgmental attention to the persistent sense of restlessness or dissatisfaction—feeling it in the body, that subtle or not so subtle tension, agitation or unease, and also seeing the thoughts and storylines that generate and sustain this unease. Not trying to fix or undo it or get rid of it, because that’s just more of the same efforting, but simply being aware of the whole thing—not thinking of it as a problem, but SEEING it as the neutral and only-possible expression of reality at this moment. This can be an interesting exploration, and if it invites you, I suggest approaching it lightly, with curiosity and interest, not in a goal or result oriented way. Allow it to do you, rather than you trying to do it—which is actually always how it is. And remember, we are never really in the dilemma we imagine ourselves being in. The whole story of being lost, bound, incomplete, etc. is all imagination. There is no separate, independent, persisting person to be any particular way for more than a nanosecond. There is ONLY flow and nothing IN the flow. And paradoxically, the ever-changing flow never departs from the immovable instantaneous timeless immediacy of HERE-NOW." - Joan Tollifson

Hi everyone, I have been listening to a series of Bonnie Greenwell interviews lately and one of the topics that keep coming up, is how in India, Kundalini is perceived as a goddess. Another one that has popped up repeatedly is the sexual nature of Kundalini. I have a bit of personal experience with both aspects, so whilst I wrote about this before, I would like to provide a more detailed and personal look at how the two are connected. This is going to get weird, so brace yourselves. So, I’ve hinted at my story here and there, with more details provided on my youtube, but I never really tied the different strands together and I feel it is important to do so now, as listening to these interviews have crystallised some concepts and connections that I only really felt intuitively before, but now I have become conscious of them. It’s always difficult to provide enough background information, without taking up too much space, but I’ll do my best. I am really uncomfortable writing about this topic, as it tends to ruffle so many feathers, but I feel it needs to be done anyway, as my own unique story could actually provide some clarity on topics that may have been unclear before. All of us, who have awakened Kundalini have such a unique perspective and we all arrived where we are from very different backgrounds, via different routes, and if we each provide our story to the spiritual community and the wider world, we will contribute to completing the puzzle, the greatest one there ever was, about the mysteries of the universe and the true nature of existence. So, it is often said, that Kundalini is a goddess, yet she is also Shakti, a cosmic, all-pervading force in the universe, but locally, she is also sex energy (libido as Freud would call it, having learnt about Kundalini from his friend, Jung) and as Bonnie Greenwell points out in her works, she is in fact the very creative force that creates life upon conception, it is root energy. The Hindus believe that Kundalini is what germinates life upon conception, it is what creates the blueprint for the organism to grow and is the energy and intelligence behind cellular growth and the creation of full-blown multi-cell organisms. This energy is provided by the explosive energy of orgasm upon conception and is usually drawn from the father, though the exact process is unclear. Ancient civilisations were well aware of the importance of this process and conceptualised the act of creation via orgasmic release through various fertility gods and goddesses. In India, the god of fertility is Shiva, and one of her wives, either Parvati or Durga is seen as the goddess of fertility. The former presents a more benign, loving, aspect, whereas the latter is fiercer and more warlike. Thousands of years before Hindu gods arrived on the scene, if mainstream archeological timelines are to be believed (and there is always some speculation and conjecture involved), in the first civilisation known to us, Sumer in Mesopotamia, the very first concepts underlying our current civilisation were being developed. Almost everything we associate with civilisation, whether writing, calculus, astronomy, agriculture, irrigation, architecture, calendars, timekeeping etc… was invented by the Sumerians, more than 6000 years ago. They seemingly came out of nowhere and developed all these high civilisational tools and achievements with no other civilisation to precede them. In their own records, they claim that the gifts of civilisation were bestowed upon them by their gods, whom they called Anunna, indicating that they were descended from the Sky God, AN , and were all various offspring of his marriage to KI, the Earth Goddess and mother of all gods (also known as Ninhursag), who, to honour this fact, were also sometimes referred to as the ANunnaKI. The chief God of Fertility was Enki, who was also associated with water and fish, whereas the goddess responsible for the sexual act itself, in order to create life and fertilise the whole of the earth, make plants grow, animals reproduce, etc… was known as Inanna (also Inana, later Ishtar) who was believed to be even more powerful than Enki in mythology, even though they had a familial relationship, where they often relied upon and helped each other. It was said that when Inanna descended into the underworld, life upon the surface of the earth would stop, plants would not grow, animals would not reproduce, her power over sexuality was seen as the fundamental force behind nature, which allowed its growth and replenishment and the cycle of life to continue. She had a dual nature to her as she was also the Goddess of War, riding into battle on the back of a lion, sporting an array of distinctive weapons and with various supernatural powers that have no doubt provided inspiration for the modern portrayal of superheroes. This has been acknowledged by the latest iteration of Wonder Woman, who carries her symbol, the 8-pointed star of Ishtar, representing the planet Venus (also a Roman Goddess heavily influenced by her mythology) on her forehead. If you thought that a fierce warrior goddess, riding a lion, slaying her enemies and being associated with sexuality sounded familiar, you’d be right, she has equivalents in many subsequent cultures, where some or all of her aspects and attributes were syncretised into local goddesses. Some, like Aphrodite, Venus or Astarte are no longer worshipped, whereas others, chiefly the Hindu Goddess Durga, still are. I bring up Durga here, because some scholars have established a link between these two very similar goddesses and have linked them both back to the Parthian Nana, who in the Indus Valley became known as Nana Devi. She is recognised as one of the 108 official forms of Shakti and now seen as an ancient form of Durga, from whom she inherited most of her attributes, including her fierce, war-like nature (she is the slayer of the demons of ignorance, symbolically) and her marriage to Shiva, providing the counterpoint to his role as the god of fertility and thus creation. Keep in mind, that in most strands of Hinduism, Durga is honoured as the primary form of Shakti and all this will soon start to make sense. So, apologies, if I had to get to my point in a convoluted manner, but it is relevant to the story I’m telling and it cannot be understood without this mythological and philosophical background. The point here, as often expressed in Shaktism, a major branch of Hinduism, that puts goddess-worship at the forefront, is that all these different names and forms for the Goddess are not what matters, for the force, the intelligence behind it, is essentially the same, different flavours of the same Shakti. And this Shakti is behind the creation, sustenance, rejuvenation and continuation of life, it is responsible for evolution, the creation of new species and allowing existing species to step on to the next rung of the evolutionary ladder. We may have different names and forms for her, we conceptualise her differently depending on our cultural background, but all of her different forms stem from the same underlying intelligence, she is the essence of all life and in this sense, the Divine Mother that gives life to all, not literally, but in a manner of speaking. This also explains, why Shakti has her own drive and initiative, her own goals and agenda, which is the continuation of life on earth and the evolution of all species, but on this planet, the human form in particular, towards a higher form, to reach its full potential and achieve self-realisation. That is why, when she activates in us as Kundalini, her primary goal is our transformation and evolution. There is no difference between her myriad forms, they all share one divine cosmic consciousness, we only perceive them to be different due to the limitations of our senses. So, you may ask, why did I bring the Sumerians into this, isn’t the picture already complicated enough without them? I had to do this, because it informs my own story and is of personal relevance to me. You see, when my Kundalini first started rising, back around 2010, I was an atheist, though I maintained a keen interest in spirituality from early childhood and had always known that subtle energies and souls were real, I also maintained somewhat of an on-again, off-again meditative practice. Living in London at the time, I visited the British Museum regularly and became fascinated with the Mesopotamian Exhibits, not least the Uruk collection, which was excavated from Inanna’s holy city and the Burney Relief, which is said to be a depiction of her. Concurrent to my visits and interest in Mesopotamian culture and mythology, my Kundalini started rising, first as heat at the base of my spine and then gradually cleared the first three chakras in a gentle and painless manner, bringing up the requisite past unresolved issues and memories, I was supposed to deal with. The problems started when the energy hit my heart chakra and was unable to clear it and break through. I felt chest pain and in time developed heart palpitations, anxiety, heavy breathing and neurological problems. Having been pretty much an atheist up to that point (I was brought up as a Roman Catholic prior to that, but also had some exposure to Hinduism, when I lived in India as a child), my only solace from the increasingly troublesome collection of Kundalini symptoms was during my regular meditative sessions in the Cathedral Gardens, next to St Paul’s, the river Thames in general and my frequent visits to the British Museum and the associated reading areas where I delved into Mesopotamian Mythology with growing interest. It was as if the artefacts from all those millennia ago were calling to me and I felt an energetic connection developing, particularly with the artefacts depicting the gods Enki and Inanna. In some myths, they are Father and Daughter, in others they are Husband and Wife, in yet others, they are Uncle and Niece, but their relationship is central to Mesopotamian mythology and they represent a very important male-female duality, where their strengths complement each other. One day, I was feeling particularly “unwhole” and suffering from Kundalini Syndrome. As I was walking towards the Cathedral Gardens at St Paul’s from my City office, it occurred to me, that these ancient gods I had been so intently studying, weren’t just myths, but perhaps they were very real beings and could be prayed to and applied to for help. I looked towards the majestic dome of St Paul’s Cathedral and thought, well, I have nothing to lose, if I ask for help, so I might as well. I closed my eyes and imagined the god Enki as depicted on a particular relief in the Museum and asked for his help. I told him, he was known as the creator and greatest helper of humanity, most gracious amongst the gods and most likely to take pity on any mortal that might need his help. I asked him to send any help he can and having read about the concept of guardian deities or spirits beforehand, even suggested he might send someone to assist me with my Kundalini issues in person. Immediately, I felt a huge download of energy. It was as if the skies had opened up (being London, it was grey and overcast) and some sort of beam or ray of energy descended from the sky, straight into my crown chakra and suffused my entire being. It felt like I was filled with light and had received a gift of divine grace. I immediately felt better and felt hopeful for the future. The next day, as I was washing up, a light appeared behind me, as bright and hot as a second sun and white in colour, accompanied by a sound of beautiful radiance. It had a female presence, immense intelligence, grace and emanated pure love. Within her energy field, time seems to have stopped or slowed down immensely, the outside world appeared like a mere shadow and looked unreal. Only she and I existed in that moment, everything else was a mere projection on a wall. Nothing has ever felt so real up to the point and so-called reality never felt so unreal. It was as if the colour, the flavour had gone out of it and it had gone pale and lifeless, so incredible was her shining and radiance, illuminating everything around her with the light of a thousand suns. Without words, this being of pure light energy floated towards me and communicated that she would like to heal me and touch me, in a way asking for permission, I suppose. She touched my back, at the level of the heart chakra and this touch felt real, like that of a human woman. She gave me shaktipat, which is what I later discovered, this transmission of energy is called, unblocked my heart and caused the energy to shoot up and flood all the nadis as it passed through the heart. I felt the need to lie down and allow Kundalini to do its thing, so I went to my room and that’s what I did. I started thrashing around and having various kriyas as the energy shot up, taking only a few minutes each to clear each of the upper chakras. When it got to ajna chakra and then past it, I felt a rhythmic thud at the top of my skull, towards the back part, as if the energy was trying to escape and break through, but couldn’t. This final knot, in the Brahmarendra, just below the crown is the last one and again I was getting the constrained feeling like I did when the energy was stuck below the heart. However, Inanna was still there, in the kitchen and as I was having this experience, she gracefully floated into my room, emanating this white-silvery light everywhere and giving the impression that she had tendrils of light extending from her in all directions, with which she was able to caress and touch me. She then floated on top of me, as I was lying in bed and started enveloping me in her light and I even felt like someone sat on me, with not much, but still noticeable weight, which to be honest, felt rather sexual, as is often the case when kundalini is involved. I have since seen many depictions of tantric goddesses sitting atop devotees in an act of tantric union in Buddhist art, especially in Tibet, so I’m guessing this is pretty universal. Not for nothing is Inanna known as the Goddess of (sexual) Love. In this tantric union, which really felt like an act of divine lovemaking, our beings slowly merged and became one. She gave me her energy and I felt my Kundalini finally shooting up with such force that it broke through the last knot and it felt like, my actual skull, with an audible crack, which sounded like a bone breaking. I have only recently discovered, that this moment is known as the breaking of the cosmic egg (Hiranyagarbha), which is accompanied by the release of the yolk, known as Amrita, which floods the body. The way I experienced it, was that after the breaking of the cosmic egg, the serpent finally escaped and as it exited the skull, it felt like it was peeking out from just above me, eventually coming to rest its neck, just below the head, and keeping its head raised up, the way it is often depicted in Egyptian art. Concurrently to this, amrita started flooding my brain and this felt like a rush of liquid light with again an audible sound of rushing water, like a stream, or even a waterfall. As the Amrita flooded me I experienced incredible feelings of bliss and joy, as well as downloads of profound truths, which is known as sat-chit-ananda (truth-joy-bliss) in the vedic literature. I received great realisations moment after moment and my whole being was being suffused with light, brighter than anything I have ever seen. Each subsequent stage of this awakening was more joyful and blissful than the previous one, even though I always thought, surely, it cannot get better and more intense than this, but until the final stage of Nirvikalpa Samadhi, it always did. At this stage I was already in some state of Samadhi, though still within my body, with the opening at the top back part of my head, known as the Mouth of Heaven in the literature, giving me constant access to a higher, infinite and non-dual realm, which I can only refer to as Heaven, as we really have no other or better word for it. However, my experience had not yet culminated at this point and I was to experience the greatest bliss of all, as my consciousness exited the body. My body fell away and became increasingly small as I extended into a black, spaceless, timeless and dimensionless void. I was all alone, it felt, but I was also everything. I started experiencing everything being part of me, the whole cosmos and everything within it and my expansion seemed never ending. I filled everything, suffused and pervaded everything with my being. I was in my own universe, not knowing if I was the only one with his own expanded universe, or whether there were others parallel to me, but ultimately, it did not seem to matter, because in this place, I was whole, loved and loving, both the object and the subject. It seems like a paradox in hindsight, because how can you be loved or love, when you are alone, but in fact I was pure love, nothing else really existed, everything was made of pure light, the ecstasy, the knowledge, the happiness, the love, the joy, the bliss, all of it was way more than any human being could possibly bear, so I had to be in this universal form, encompassing everything there is, to bear the majesty and brilliance of it. This was a state of non-duality, where all opposites, even subject and object ceased to exist and there was only the One, the Absolute, the Self. The Self was universal, omniscient and all-loving. In this state, everything was already understood and known, past and present were no longer mysteries, they were all occurring simultaneously, everywhere and there was no limitation of any kind, just pure expansiveness. I must have been in this state for about an hour, though during that time, I had no concept of time at all, it simply did not exist. The same thing for space, everything was within me and I was within everything, with no separation. Ditto for dimensions, they extended infinitely in all directions and I was part of each dimension of existence. My vision wasn’t confined like it is now, it was also in all directions and saw everything there ever was or will be, everywhere, simultaneously. All knowledge simply “was”, already there, instantly available and there was nothing that wasn’t known to me. In hindsight, I understand why ancient Rishis described this moment of realisation as “I am that”, because really, that is all there is. In that moment, you are that and that is the only thing that exists, so you realise the unity and oneness of everything and everyone, different manifestations of the same “One”, seemingly different in the illusory, dualistic world of Maya, but ultimately stemming from the same source. Once I have grown tired of existing in my infinite, universal state, I started shrinking again, until I was small enough to fit back into my body (it felt like falling back into it) through the same route I exited it. Being back in my body, I felt incredibly constrained and my muscles were sore. I knew this was a profound experience I’ve just had, but it also felt rather disappointing to be back in my same old body and to have lost that full immersion into truth, bliss and joy, though I have carried back the memory of it. Since my crown was now opened up, the mouth of heaven provided a constant link to Heaven and I was able to interact with heavenly beings, beings of light from then on, depending on the needs of those that exist in this shadow world of illusions. The state I have just come back from is known as Nirvikalpa Samadhi. I have been able to go into Samadhi states and rest in them subsequently as well, though none were ever this intense, this seems to be a one-time deal, to show the Jiva or Soul what awaits it once its task has been completed here on earth, as a motivation to keep up the work and lead others towards union with the divine (Brahman). So, there you have it, that is my own unique take on Shakti being a goddess, one of many names and forms, which are largely made up by humans, but the intelligence, the force, the power behind it is unchanging and always the same. In fact that reminds me, the Goddess once showed me a vision of herself when I admitted to being confused about all the different forms and names that are associated with her and how she could be all of those things when to us, they may look so different. In this vision, I saw her as a Hindu Goddess in a four-armed form. Like I said, names and forms are for us, for her, they are all the same. She was alone, in a black, dimensionless void, like the one I have been to in my Nirvikalpa state, sitting cross-legged, two of her arms raised up in meditation and the other two manipulating reality. In front of her, was a loop, donut-shaped. As I looked into the loop, I realised it contained all the time and space of the universe, condensed, and as you “zoomed in” individual faces and lives started appearing though from her perspective, they were all flat or two-dimensional. She could reach into any one moment or any one life and make adjustments as she deemed necessary. She explained to me (in thought, not words), that this is how she reaches into manifest reality to keep the loop running as it should be and both time and space circle back into each other and start again, over and over, but to her all points in space, time and various dimensions are equally accessible and visible. She also explained to me, that when intervention is needed, she might incarnate in a certain form along a particular point of the timespace loop. All she need to do, is “pinch” that particular point in the loop-movie, for her, no time will have passed, but in the movie, in the physical play-out reality we inhabit, an entire avatar or incarnation may have been born, lived and died, completing the missions she was sent there for. I’m not going to speculate on how this relates to other gods and goddesses, I am simply reporting what I was told, or rather shown and you can make up your own mind about what that might mean. I have also “seen” her (specifically in the form of Inanna, but also as others, including Buddhist forms, as reported by friends who were visited) manifest in physical reality and “reach into” it, manipulating events, or performing healing on someone. The events were reported by friends or people who have asked me for assistance, remotely, but I also saw them in my minds eye, in the form of visions, so to me they were as real as if I was really there, even though I was thousands of miles away. If that sounds weird, keep in mind this is known as remote viewing and is reportedly how the Mahabharata was written, so that events could be seen by the author remotely. When the Ajna chakra is activated, these things become possible, though I have never sought them out, they only happen spontaneously, when the situation calls for it. In conclusion, I realise I have thrown a lot of weird, hard-to-digest stuff at you and it may not make much sense now, but perhaps in time, it will. I know it took me many, many years to get a sense of what’s really going on and understand at least the basics of it. I cringe at the thought of how many people will be upset by this story and I have plenty of experience with that, believe me. I’m not bothered by the criticism, which is predictable and I have noticed always comes from the point of view of which cherished part of the ego feels most threatened by it. Some will be upset by the mixing and matching of religions and philosophies, to some it will be new-age, to others way too religious, polytheists will decry its monotheism, monotheists its polytheism, non-duality its dualism, dualists its non-dualism and so forth. This story does not fit into any neat category and neither do I, I am literally in a minority of one, so it has the unique advantage of upsetting everyone at the same time. It may also seem unfair that such profound spiritual experiences would occur to someone so undeserving as myself (and that I very clearly am) and all I can say to that is that we live in a different age now (some would say, the tail end of the Kali Yuga) and as things get darker, one advantage of being here now is that we have to put in so much less effort to progress spiritually than only a few decades ago. A lot more people are waking up and having spiritual experiences of a profound nature, whilst simultaneously, those that refuse to grow and evolve with the changing times are growing ever more demonic and hateful, as has been predicted by the Puranas all those millennia ago. So for you, my advice would be this: keep doing whatever you’re doing and work on it, because there has never been another time in human history, when it was easier and quicker to achieve spiritual liberation than it is today. Don’t listen to mean-spirited critics (teachers and gurus who know what they are doing excepted), instead, follow your own heart and your own intuition, listen to the guidance of the Goddess and she will manipulate events in such a way as to give you maximum opportunity to develop and grow. Also, pray to her, talk to her, plead to her if you have to and she will find a way to communicate with you. Do not be bothered by the differences in outward appearance when it comes to her many forms, work with whatever form works best for you, whether it is the more impersonal and universal Shakti / Mahashakti, her more localised form as Kundalini Shakti or one of her more personalised forms appearing as various goddesses in different parts of the world all throughout history. If you feel more comfortable with the male aspect of God, then do that and apply to that aspect for help, that is also what I initially did, when I prayed for help almost a decade ago now. But, you’ll find, that in most religions, it is the female aspect of God, that is most active in this reality and is most likely to step in, whereas the male aspect tends to remain somewhat distant and is generally outside of the created world, rarely taking an interest in it or intervening directly. I hope that helped you and I encourage others to share their personal stories of awakening in a similar manner so we may all learn from them as a collective, because in the end we are one consciousness, having the same experience, but from myriad different points of view.

@Leo Gura Just as a small nitpick, what Angelo can talk about, directly on the scene, is utterly beyond nonduality. I recognize it essentially as what you might term something like absolute impersonal solipsism. If you don’t see that, you pretty much just haven’t seen enough of his stuff. It’s definitely not set apart from God either it just has no need to be called as such.

"Suicide and Attempted Suicide: Methods and Consequences" by Geo Stone https://b-ok.cc/book/947188/2871ec Denial gets nowhere. My starting point is to honestly admit that I don't want to die. But despite the fact I don't want to die, I may commit suicide anyway. That's the extent of my personal feelings, and to say anymore would be fluff. With that out of the way, some notes Part I —As far as statistics go, there is much data which falls into three different categories: sociology, psychiatric + psychological and biological - Sociological tells very little about any given individual, but I disagree with this slightly. People can be the product of economic factors, and these factors are impersonal in their descriptions. - Hopelessness about the future is a great predictor of suicide, as opposed to depression - Adoption data supports biological basis of suicide due to prevalence of suicide in biological relatives being a stronger correlative factor than suicide in adoptive relatives {one would have to question what sort of suicidal folks are carrying out adoptions, but nonetheless} —Although only 1% of suicide survivors successfully kill themselves within one year, it is still a fact that about half of the people who make a suicide attempt will attempt another one (at some point in time). e.g. A Swedish study with a 35 year follow up found that 10.9% ultimately died of suicide Part II —Drug/chemical/poison suicides have a success rate between 1.2 to 11.4%. -People are often unaware what a lethal or safe dose is, and neither is there a guaranteed safe dose or guaranteed lethal dose due to biological individuality. -Another con is that they are very painful sometimes, and that some may cause permanent damage if survived {although I see this being the case much more with hanging and other methods. The damage after is a non-factor or heavily depends on the method chosen} -It will therefore be highly dependent on the exact poison or drug used —Hanging; con is possible brain damage if interrupted -another minor con is appearance of the corpse afterwards —Hyperthermia is a method, but it's uncommon, and seems very hard to pull off. -It can cause brain damage or severe injury if failed?{"The neurological injury may manifest in several ways, including cognitive dysfunction, agitation, seizures, unsteadiness, or disturbance of consciousness from lethargy to coma""} —Jumping; Jumps from over 150 feet on land or 250 feet over water are almost always fatal. -However, if you do less than that the rate of success is variable. Permanent injuries, paralysis, amputations, etc. -I am almost certainly not going to do this method ————— In conclusion? The best way to go out would be an (accidental in some cases) OD when fucking around with drugs, in my opinion. My choices are between hanging and drugs/poisons. Poisons/drugs are my most preferable route to take. This would be the best way to go out, but there are a few problems. Sourcing poisons is extremely difficult, sourcing drugs is extremely difficult, and illegal. If worst truly came to worst, I could see myself doing a hanging to get the job done of a suicide. That or some other bullshit in the vicinity of asphyxia. Pulling off hypothermia seems tricky; you'd have to be in the right area, take a massive swig of alcohol, and pray you get lucky to scrape a death after several hours. And then you might have heart or brain complications, (probs short term), in the event you fail. --- Research ain't over, suicide squad still going strong. So many potential options to choose from, but the number of viable ones are fewer

@Mjolnir I've dealt with the same pelvic floor tightness and lack of feeling for years. I read a lot of anatomy and stretched most of my tight muscles. I had so many tight muscles in my lower body. I especially had to stretch my hip flexors because I'd been sitting all day for years. I had to strengthen my muscles because I was too weak to hold healthy posture. It helped me at first but my problems continued because there was more I had to address. Almost my entire body was weak from sitting for most of my life and my lower body muscles were very tight from running on a treadmill years ago, having the habit of running every day on a weak body without stretching, and I stopped doing that when my problems started occurring, but I didn't know anything about anything so I couldn't fix it and everything kept getting even tighter and more painful for years until I learned enough about the mechanics of the body. I don't know if you necessarily have a history of running but it's not really the point. These musculoskeletal problems occur because the body reacts in the way it has to, to whatever forces are placed on it at any time, whether sitting all day or something else. It was common when I searched for help online to find articles say it could be caused by holding your body in a tense state all the time due to psychological stress, but I found this to have nothing to do with my problem and not help me even though I've been stressed. Maybe that alone does it for some people. But there are also impersonal mechanisms of causality going on in the body that have to be understood and fixed, usually coming from our lifestyle. I spent so many hours thinking over my past years and reading articles to try to understand. I had severe pain, and it was coming from inadequate circulation for the cells to survive, and the cause of that was fascial adhesion. I didn't feel much pain at first, but I kept making it worse. I also read about nerve compression and scar tissue, and I probably have both to some degree, but reading about it wasn't helping much and I found out it wasn't the problem. The problem is that my fascia became so constricted while I was going through it that even after stretching and strengthening my muscles, the condition didn't go away. It will become tight if the lifestyle is sedentary. I stayed in bed for most of a year while struggling to figure out my muscle situation and I think that's why it became such a problem for me. By the time I rehabilitated my muscles it was too late to fix the problem with only that, because it had created a new problem. On my entire abdomen and underneath my ribcages, the fascia is almost like a bulletproof vest. I have to decompress it for 2 hours each day and it's steadily working. I haven't fully healed yet, but in feeling like I finally figured it out I already got my feeling capacity restored to some degree. I don't know how severe your situation is, but it's probably going to require the same things - stretching, strengthening, and fascia decompression if it's tight. Here are some of the videos that saved me... https://youtu.be/8OYMx_aw8E0 https://youtu.be/K-CrEi0ymMg https://youtu.be/smG9qvVeMNM I think you would benefit if you searched for any or all stretches that your body could use and work on balancing the whole system out. Our modern lives make us so tight. And I noticed if I'm doing a stretch with complex movements, it doesn't stretch what I'm intending to stretch unless I get the stretching position almost perfect, so I have to follow the instructions I find meticulously. And sometimes I read articles about stretches that I end up not really understanding, and I have to look for another person's explanation of it or try a different stretch. And I heard someone say asymmetrical tightness creates some harmful torque inside the body, so I paid attention to if on one side I was tighter, and I actually was on most stretches and I tried to balance it all out to stay safe. There's a lot that I've learned slowly over the months that allowed me to finally get improvement, and what I did was frequently search the internet with my problems and hope to get lucky. I still don't understand some of it, and we may have different situations, but I hope you can figure it out and get better and understand what happened to you.

In the Absolute sense you are just revealing things to yourself yes. But that fine. I would just suggest a meditation practice - self inquiry specifically. Really dig in to what you think you are.. You say impersonal awareness but notice this could be dogma and not realized directly which is enlightenment - its enlightenment because you become awareness - which you have not. So what do you really think you are? An entity or soul residing behind the eyes?