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@Davino I've felt something like that before while on shrooms; like I really enjoyed my problems and was happy I was going through them and the perfect world of the awakened state was boring.

@Ishanga You’re missing my entire point. You are limiting yourself by seeing enlightenment as the highest potential. There is no highest potential. There is always more. Reality is infinite, there is no final moment where you are awakened. So believing that “enlightenment” is the final stage is just a box you’re putting yourself in and then proclaiming to the world that it is the final goal of your life. It’s not. You can achieve enlightenment then go 5 steps beyond. Just because you put yourself in a box and that’s all you can see doesn’t mean that’s the entire tapestry of possibilities. For example, enlightenment teachers usually purport that desires lead to suffering. While that may be true for most people, at a high enough level you can still be attached to any desire and transcend suffering almost entirely. But they don’t teach this because they limit themselves by saying that their concept of enlightenment is the highest goal in life. If you want that to be the final thing you can awaken to then fine, so be it. But there’s way more you haven’t even realized and you’re fooling yourself to think once you’re “enlightened” your done.

@Something Funny My response would be.. since you haven't awakened enough from my view it's better to do that than "suicide". You could find out more or less what you are going to end up being "on the other side" with some mushrooms for example.. The other thing is about love, anytime someone commits suicide it has a ripple effect on the people around them. There will for sure be people saddened by the loss and your presence/way of leaving this world. Though yeah technically I think most people basically "suicides" when they leave here when their body is at its "end use" or some other karmic determination.. but it's different to me when a young ish person tries to do that especially if they're still healthy. That would be a circumstantial thing more or less that could be improved.

@Shodburrito look at what I said. I didnt say being awakened makes you better. And how do you know that there isn't an Absolute Truth? That God exists in fact? Notice that you assume that i want there to be Truth. But what if there actually is? Have you pondered that? If you say Truth doesn't exist- that's not a relative statement that's an objective one. The atheist takes an objective stance.

@Inliytened1 “Better man” that’s a relative value statement. Get this idea out of your head that there’s some objective “awakening” or “enlightenment”. The only reason you want there to be an end all be all Truth is because you need meaning in your life. I don’t need someone or some being to tell me what I need to do. Answer me this why is it better for me to be “awakened” than not? Try answering that without making a relative value claim. If you can’t, then stop implying I’d be better off following your idea about enlightenment.

We first have to think about what dreams are. They are certain images, ideas, emotions (and sometimes even smell!).. manifested inside the brain during sleep. Now Lets thing about what is the principal definition of ‘reality’. Reality is something that you can feel. The air on your skin, the touch of objects, taste and smell of objects and of course…the dimensions of something that you see. Your skin, eyes, tongue and nose send certain sensations to the brain…and the brain makes them real for you. A simple proof of this is ‘motion blindness’. Where the patient can’t ‘see’ moving objects! In other words, the brain cant manifest movement as a real occurrence for the patient. As far as the patient is concerned, movement doesn't occur… (unless people around the patient reassure him/her that things are indeed moving). So… now lets combine these two. Dreams, and Reality. These images and other feelings that make up a dream…. it is really up-to the brain to decide how ‘real’ they are! When you are sleeping, and your subconscious mind manifests these feelings, depending on how strong these ‘sensations’ are, the brain will make them real for you. The only reason we realize that a dream ‘feels’ real, but is actually not… is because we wake up. If we were to sleep indefinitely…the brain wouldn’t know any better. For the brain, any dream could be ‘real’. Dreams from sleep involve many realms in our minds. Conscious and subsconcious. We also have a dream sensory in spiritual realms as well as a thought and visual content. Our emotions give the dream a sense of direction and a degree of urgency if or when neccesary. This is the inner way we communicate to ourselves. We can physically feel that we dream. Still, dreams are of thought. Your question seems to suggest creating a better reality by dreams used as ambition or goals. This is also from thought, yet very different to awakened reality. Thought is who we are and what we think about all day. To obtain a better reality starts with good thought, focused inside our mind. There is one particular specific zone in the law of attraction or attracting what we desire most. Simply stated, “give away what you desire most in your heart.” This is what you should share most to others. This is becoming outside yourself. Give love you will get love. Give acceptance to gain acceptance. What you desire most share or give away. Your kindness becomes sevenfold back to you. The idea of sharing is central. This now gives you a tool to open many doors. These are love principles. To gain your living dream is to center on the wisdom of kindness as the basis for all thoughts, speech and action. You can create any measure of success. Using thought in and of generousity. This now your appealing, attractiveness to desire. If your genuine that is the aura or thought you will put out to the world. When true to yourself and others your truth becomes the reality. You become so much more, as you allow yourself no limits. Limits are self created. Do not ever let fear or doubts stop you. Try to never create excuses. Make peace with your circumstances. Do your very best with honor and grace. Your world will be as you choose. Choose a good way. Then good ways find you. Essentially, dreams in your waking life will happen. Love is more than affection. Put success and kind love out there. You will become what you think about all day. A success is a state of mind.

@Ishanga I am not awakened but you imagine everyone here having this discussion. You are sharing it with yourself

What I say is you can act as if the world is not other than you. But there is no acting then really because everything is you. You will experience that the world is you. So whatever the human body does it's just in the flow with everything else. No one acts really. If you are not awakened to solipsism your dreams will also not be solipsistic.

That's maybe for those like you who never really had an awakening to solipsism but just do philosophy. You are not awakened at all like you claimed. You will not act if you believe in the objective reality of an external world. From the outside it may see so but not from your perspective. You will interact with yourself 24 hours.

One can only get it when it is realized that any separate identity is false and just a wrong arising thought/feeling/concept in Infinite Being/Reality/mindstream (like 1 + 1 = 3. Just not the case). For that to happen, the mindstream needs to conform to Absolute Reality of Infinite Being/Consciousness/Suchness. Among others, the most important ones are: Nondual: Boundless infinite "field" or better Reality of the visual field Infinite: Nothing could ever be outside of it (for example other perspectives/beings that YOU forget right now in real time, although they happen in True You). Everything can only be IT. Mere appearance/illusion: Every appearance of the "world" is just empty mere appearance, hovering like a non-solid hologram ("clear light", mere appearance-emptiness) in YOUR True Infinite Being. Eternal: The appearance in that Infinite field/Reality changes, but never THAT. That can't go anywhere else. And since IT is nothing (or better: Infinite Nothingness but with the potential for sentience if appearance arises in it, made of it) already, that Reality can't disappear (field is not so correct, since True Being is dimensionless... Its not 3D or 5D, but CONTAINS all possible dimensions, however many dimensions manifest (3/4/5/n/alien/totally other/n+1). Lets call it Infinite Vastness) All ignorant/wrong concept/believes/feelings of being anything separate (mind, body, soul, whatever) seen through: are just a thought/feeling-arising-bundle arising within IT, and ignorantly believed because ones speed of awareness is too slow to cut off these illusions in real-time. Only then does one have a chance of realizing True Solipsism (although I don't like that as teaching tool, because its incomprehensible until it happens, and lead nowhere as practice), or True Enlightenment. One without a second. So its fruitless to think with a separate-self still well and alive about Solipsism, that will never "go anywhere". It is impossible. But getting the Mindstream to conform the the enlightened Mindstream (points above) so that this realization can happen, that can be done, and that is worth the effort. Then the realization can happen. My preferred and recommended tools are Mahamudra PotgW, Yoga of One Taste (for the Nondual points above, 1-4), and Yoga of Nonmeditation (to fully establish point 5, and to get rid of the meditator still "running" points 1-4. Selling Water by the River PS: When Wilber wrote No Boundary, he didn't have Full Enlightenment, just some Kenshos. But not full impersonal Enlightenment, according to his own statements. His true impersonal Enlightenment (or death of the illusion of the separate-self) happened while writing Sex, Ecology, Spirituality, and how that went down is described in One Taste. "Realizing that the separate self (of any kind) doesn't exist (beyond a mere appearing illusion), did never exist, and will or could never exist". PSPS: Problems start when remnants of the separate self hijack the identity of/as "Absolute Solipsism". That would be something like the Infinity of Gods(-Egos). Does that sound like One Being, Solipsism? Or more like an Infinity of God-Egos inflated and projected on Infinity.The true intuition that there is only One Reality/Being, but that not cleansed from separate-self/ego/personality-elements. Hence, no stable nondual realization in daily life with the 5 points of Awakened Nondual Awareness above accessible anytime. That confusion can be similiar to the stage of Yoga of One Taste, which already brings Nondual States (like psychedelics also do), but Enlightenment doesn't happen there yet, because the remaining separate-self is not cleansed via the Yoga of Nonmeditation. It is not truly impersonal yet. True Being is utterly utterly impersonal (hence, IT fits into all individual mindstreams), and yet contains the personality and its individual traits arising within IT. And that is what you truly are. So nothing than an illusion of being something else than THAT is lost.

I dont think there's much point talking with awakened people that much. Like, they already got it. I think Leo should talk with people who arent awake, but has enough open-mindeness to listen to him and maybe investigate his ideas after the talk.

Intro: I finished my first round of therapeutic Ketamine through Better U (9 doses of Rapid Dissolve Tablets). I tried it to help heal pain. If I had to attach a clinical label to my pain, I'd say it's a mix of C-PTSD, depression and anxiety. Specifically, I wanted to become a better father and husband, reduce my suffering, move past career blocks, increase motivation, stop overeating, and more. My dose was 400 mg with the first trip at 200mg and the eighth at 600 mg. The first two trips were sublingual (spit), the third was sublingual/oral (swallowed), and the remaining 7 trips were administered rectally, dissolved in water (to avoid the taste). For all of these trips, I lay in my bed with an eye mask. Background: I'm 27 years old and over the last decade, I've done about 30 - 50 trips with Mushrooms, LSD, and Ayahuasca, but did not have any experience with Ketamine. I have deep reverence for the psychedelic experience and I feel like they have been instrumental on my path of healing and awakening. Most of the lessons I learned from Ketamine are old lessons that were deepened or refreshed, often in very profound ways. Lesson/Experience Summary: Trip 1: 200mg acclimation dose: Was not much of a trip. My body felt a bit numb and tingly but I noticed no cognitive changes. I felt bored and a little disappointed. (looking back, this was a microcosm of my waking experience). I was looking for something to come and "save me". I didn't get that. In the following days, I realized how my desire and expectations distracted me from actually being present with my experience. Trip 2: 400mg sublingual (spit) + a hit of cannabis one hour in: I intended to feel happy. I was again underwhelmed at first but when I hit the bong, my awareness expanded rapidly and I started to see visuals that I perceived as the power and intelligence of God on display (I also saw Aubrey Marcus's face on a butterfly lol). I felt a deep fear of tripping hard and ultimately the fear of God. I remained stuck in deep fear and resistance for the rest of the trip. I repeatedly tried to shift my focus to happiness and gratitude but I could not maintain my focus. The current of fear was too strong. The brokenness of "I'm not focused enough" dampened my feeling state and I remembered carrying that feeling since I was diagnosed ADD in my childhood. I also tried to just be present with the feeling I felt but I couldn't maintain that focus either. I started perceiving my feelings as the "Divine Feminine", seeing her as a living entity. I tried loving her but felt devoid of love and too distracted. I asked her how to love her and I heard, "Listen... feel". I tried, but again was too distracted to listen and feel. At this point, it became crystal clear that I needed to improve my concentration ability. It also became very clear that thoughts create feelings. My thinking was creating my suffering. In the following days, I practiced a lot of concentration meditation. I realized that most of my thoughts were textbook "sinful", like the 7 deadly sins in Christianity or the 5 hindrances in Buddhism. I worked on letting go and replacing those thoughts by applying some strategies I found in "Beyond Distraction" by Shaila Catherine, which I picked up in a bookstore and devoured in a few hours. I also become aware of a ton of self-judgment, particularly a ton of "I am not ______ enough". And I also projected all of that judgment onto the world. I felt like I needed to experience my judgment non-judgementally to experience the imperfection as a manifestation of Perfection. Through my refreshed meditation practice, I learned that suffering and discomfort dissolve when I meet them with fully accepting presence. Trip 3: 400 mg sublingual/oral (swallowed) + bong rip I did 3 rounds of Wif Hof breathing before the trip. On the come-up, I began to perceive my feelings with more clarity. Near the peak, I fully attempted to "let-go" and I spontaneously started breathing super fully, maybe more fully than I ever have in my life. It felt amazing. I felt intensely alive. I began to think about awakening and felt an intense energy in my chest. After closer observation, I realized that feeling was actually intense, heart-ponding fear. I realized that I was creating an imaginary "awakened" future that I felt attached to. This attachment was rooted in deep fear and resistance with the energy of, "LET ME OUT OF HERE, MAKE THIS STOP", with a thin veneer of "everything will be okay... hopefully". I laughed at how absurd it was that I was attached to this energy considering how horrible it actually felt. I noticed how I ran this same pattern all the time either with desirable or undesirable imagined futures which I felt attached to or attached to avoiding. Either way, it's essence was fear. In the following days, I meditated for 2+ hours a day, and I let go of many layers of pain (anger, shame, fear, sadness, etc.) I became aware that the doorway to peace was in every moment. No matter what form arises, there I was, perceiving it. I also noticed that whenever pleasure arises, fear and unworthiness come with it. The big insight from this trip is that when I let go, I started to breathe so fully. It's like I was breathing in life itself and with no conscious effort. I intuited that I could breathe my way into high states of consciousness but that would also mean illuminating the shadow/fear inside me, but I trusted the process. One of these evenings, I prayed for proper breathing. Then, in the middle of the night, I had a dream of two tablets dissolving on each side of my pelvic floor with each breath, as if they were replenishing my body's desire for oxygen. Still asleep, my body started to breathe very deeply with no conscious effort until I was half asleep and then fully awake still inhaling fully and effortlessly. Each breath felt full, wide, and deeply satisfying. I woke up my wife with my breathing. It felt amazing. I realized that for as long as I remember, I have been depriving my body of oxygen with shallow breathing patterns, creating a perfect breeding ground for fear and unconsciousness. I realized the close correlation between my depth of breathing and my mental state. I also learned that awareness of the breath as well as non-resistance are keys to high-quality breathing, and my meditation practice has been instrumental for that. Trip 4: 400mg plugged + bong rip Intention - awaken inner power and masculinity. I noticed that I was not present with my visual field like I was waiting for something else more real. When I did focus my attention, my closed-eye visual field morphed into a spiraling wall of Egyptian hieroglyphics. I meditated on courage. At one point, I said, "I realized the true meaning of freedom. True freedom is freedom to be myself." I burst into tears for a brief moment. What I meant was, no matter what I'm going through, I am free to be the kind of character that I want to be. If I am suffering, I can be the one who acts for my wellbeing. I call that "being myself" because I have a natural impulse to serve myself and those around me. So perhaps to be free, I just need to trust that impulse, that deep wisdom. I felt like my ability to be present and obedient to my deepest wisdom was hindered by my self-doubt. I essentially did not trust myself. I realized the deep wisdom of "trust in yourself". When I do not trust myself, I naturally avoid pain and discomfort because I don't believe that I'll be there for myself to get me through it. But if I trust myself, I know that I can endure any level of pain and emerge unharmed because my authentic loving character arises from my nature. So I learned self self-trust is a key to freedom. Even though I've made a terrible habit of ignoring my own wisdom, it never stops. It's always there. But that voice is not enough to be free, I need to know that I can and will consistently act upon that voice to actually feel free and safe. I realized that authentic character arises from freedom, and with my freedom, I choose to be a servant to all, present, a protector, merciful, abundant, nourishing, and devoted to my deepest wisdom. I noticed that I was labeling my eyes-closed visual field as "darkness" subconsciously, but then I realized, it was actually light. My whole visual field flashed with white light. I saw a beautiful native American woman singing. She symbolized the divine feminine, singing her song of deep wisdom that arises from Nature. Her song says you are free, and this wisdom is always available, but it's up to you to follow it. That natural "feminine" wisdom is the natural wisdom that springs from my source effortlessly, the feminine within the masculine (yin in the yang). As a man, it is my job to honor her song and protect her with all my heart and abilities. I also noticed how I was creating pain by anticipating either pain or pleasure in the future. I felt like I could take myself into pleasure but I kept making excuses for why I had to wait. I felt like I was waiting for some source of empowerment. But of course, empowerment must come from within. That's what empowerment means. I realized that the substance of my power is decisions. Making decisions is how I practice good-will. Good-will means executing the will of my deepest freedom. Practicing this leads to self-trust. Self-trust is key to letting go. Letting go is key to presence. Presence is the key to freedom. Freedom is the end-game. The next day, I ate a bunch of ginger mints and meditated for 25 minutes without moving. My head was so itchy, I felt like it was on fire, but I encouraged myself with positive self-talk, which was something I really don't do often enough. I contemplated femininity and masculinity. I wrote that the essence of femininity is surrender, receptivity, and energy. And the essence of masculinity is purpose. Purpose informs direction and decision, which is where masculine power lies. Without purpose, the direction of attention defaults to survival/ego maintenance. A purpose is something for the mind to chew on. I had a dream that I was in a video game and I died. I was waiting there to "restart", but I was deeply detached to my body because I perceived it as a dead video game character. I felt a sense of dissolving and expanding that was quite nice. (looking back, this feeling was very similar to what I experienced in trip 10). I also dreamt of a white dragon that looked like Haku from Spirited Away. The next day, I contemplated dragon energy. I began to understand the dragon as a symbol of raw power - power that destroys everything in opposition to it, not as an act of evil, but as an act of creation. I wanted to awaken that dragon within me. I also wrote this, "The Ocean holds space for all of it's creatures- beautiful and ugly, peaceful and violent. It is indifferent. Indifference is the highest form of love and freedom. And because all know freedom, the truth of our depth arises without force and shines with perfect clarity." A rip-off of the Tao Te Ching, but still beautiful. Trip 5: 400mg plugged Intention: awaken the inner dragon My breath was full and deep for at least the first hour. I felt incredibly alive and quite content. I felt like I was in God's VR simulator in the clouds and that everything I felt was divinely crafted. I had a vision of me sitting on on a cloud chair with a joystick and I was free to do anything I wanted. I felt like my body was made of pixels that were subdividing into finer and finer pixels. I visualized myself as Blue-Eyes White Dragon (from Yu-Gi-Oh!). Any time I would notice fear or resistance, I would blast it with white light as the dragon. I felt quite good but also very attached to my experience, which took away from it. It was a great trip overall. I remember being astounded by a sense of power in my body. I also remember acknowledging that there was no one here, that the concept of "self "was thin and insignificant compared to the truth of my being in my direct awareness. I said "Ketamine lets me be me which is nothing." On the tail end of the comedown, I went inside Chipotle to order food. The restaurant had the worst vibes imaginable. They were playing some ultra-slowed grunge trap music on a boombox behind the counter. The staff looked like they were on opiates. A worker scraped the grill the whole time, creating an ear-piercing scraping noise. The vibes screamed, "please kill me, make it end". It was pure pain and resistance. I went home, and with hesitation, took a few bites of my food which quickly created deep pain in my whole body. I threw it out. I realized that the deep suffering that I was resisting and judging was deep inside of me. That Chipotle was just reflecting my own deep pain and victim complex. I excavated a lot of self-hatred and resistance patterns in the following days. I also started to notice that some core desire in me was being suppressed. I thought how my craving for peace/joy/bliss might just be a means to become more free. I realized how I decided to suppress my anger from an early age so I did not hurt people with it like my father did. I acknowledged that although my intention was pure, I was misguided. Anger does not hurt anyone. It is simply a fire that signals that it is time for action and transformation. The anger I trapped inside burned me as self-hatred for many years. But when I meet anger with my loving conscious presence, it can be a powerful fuel that serves my purpose. I realized that an aspect of my core masculine desire is to ravish - to give my gift so fully that I completely lose myself in the giving. I explored this with my wife in Tantra, and it was great. I felt like I could let go much more deeply when I surrendered completely to her feelings and giving her the best possible experience. It was very different than my usual inhibited way, but we both loved it. The next day, I became acutely aware of how my judgments -all of my dualistic mind-activity - were distracting me from the present moment. I also drew up "the light spiral": Presence leads to love. Love leads to trust. Trust leads to surrender. Surrender leads to presence. Trip 6: 400mg (plugged) Intention - empowerment I experienced myself as a spirit body with deep freedom. I noted how I repeatedly would construct mental grounds for myself. Those grounds/identities were made of pain/tension. But they remained beneath my awareness while they built up, although I still felt the dis-ease. I said, "One level of freedom is being what you choose. That's what reality is always doing. But a deeper level of freedom is being what you want the most." This requires deep honesty about desire. I realized that I was dismissing my desire for bliss, labeling it as selfish. By I allowed myself to own it. I finally admit that I did want bliss for myself simply because I love myself. I also realized that even if I felt bliss if I could not share it, I would still feel empty. And so I wished bliss and peace upon myself and my family and the world. I placed my hands on my heart and said "Divine bliss here and now". Throughout the trip, it became increasingly clear that I was a free energy being governed by my intention and will. My experience responded to my will. On the comedown, I wandered outside on a cool evening and ran to the last patch of sunny ground. It felt like such a deep expression of my authentic desire. I felt like energy was rising up from my lower chakras, flowing into my upper body as a result of surrendering to my authentic desire. I did Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) in the mirror and excavated a lot of shame, unworthiness, and self-judgment. That night, I dreamt of my childhood crush and felt the profound desire I felt for her that had been suppressed my whole life. The next morning, I woke up early, went outside, and did breathwork while sun-gazing. I felt that same profound desire for the sun, like I wished it was inside my chest radiating brilliantly and effortlessly. I squinted as the sun rose higher and the glare in my eyelashes created a cross with the sun at the center. I thought of Jesus dying on the cross and how the sun represented presence and the cross represented death. I felt the desire to die (spiritually/mentally) so that I could let the light of my presence shine fully. I thought of the light spiral. I noticed how life flows out of death. My deepest desire springs from freedom. Freedom springs from the boundless intelligence that lives beyond separation. I was craving the realization of surrendered action. And most of all I was craving the fullness of my presence that I sense can only actualize with total surrender of self. I felt called to fast the next day and did, but found myself in a video-game fueled dopamine hole. I made a distinction between desire and craving. I said, "Desires arise from my deep wisdom and serve myself/others. They should be pursued. Cravings do not serve and therefore do not need to be fulfilled. Trip 7: 400mg (plugged) Intention: heal the pain in my heart and awaken warrior energy I breathed deeply and felt free on the come-up. I saw Dark Magician (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) and I felt like I could think clearly and create whatever I wanted without a bunch of self-doubt clouding my mind. I really liked that. I got up after about 45 minutes to put music on my speaker. Bad idea. It was a huge deboccle. I ended up taking a shit and I felt like I was coming down. I also grabbed a cup to throw up in. I felt like I wasted my trip. I felt stupid and disappointed. But I continued to breathe deeply and offered loving self-talk to myself. I looked over to the purge cup and it had an Ankh on it. In that moment, the hoop on top of the cross represented my head getting blown off which triggered a purge into the cup. I lay back down and continued offering love to myself while "dying" to the pain I was feeling. from that moment to the next three hours, I poured out the pain in my heart into my loving presence. I dissolved so much fear, shame, anger, unworthiness, etc. just feeling the pain, breathing fully, and allowing it to be and express itself in my body. I often sighed to help release the pain. This is some of the deepest healing I've ever done. For the first time, I was able to recognize and validate to truth of my self-judgements. This was because I recognized that all of these judgments were based on a limited perspective about temporary form and that deep down, I had unconditional love for myself. So i was able to say, wow, I really do suck, I am incapable, I am a selfish POS, I am unworthy, I am powerless, I am not good enough, and really mean it, while maintaining a deeper sense of love and freedom within me. It was very liberating and I felt so validated because before I was dismissing my self-judgement and therefore my pain as an illusion or darkness. But my self-judgment really did have some truth to it, as all perspectives do. My character really did suck ass a lot of the time. I really am broken. And after that, I felt like I was in a greater position to surrender myself because I was able to clearly see my own brokenness. For the first time in a long time, my heart felt open and alive. It was not radiating with joy or anything but just being able to feel aliveness was vastly preferable to the brick/black hole it felt like before. I felt so resiliant that I could face my deepest brokenness and still feel okay with a sense of deep love for myself. Then my wife walked in angry at me (for good reason) and stonewalled me. My heart immediately went back to feeling like a black hole. I was astounded at how I could be so skillful at processing my own self-hatred and then the second my wife felt angry at me, I completely closed and was consumed by anger. Upon reflection, I realized that nothing could take away the aliveness in my own heart besides my own closure. Trip 8: 600mg (plugged) This (increased dose) trip was particularly hard to describe. I felt like I was pure spirit and everything was flowing through me in circular patterns. The energy patterns are ancient yet always changing and always fresh. I was taken far far away from ordinary consciousness on a wild journey. It felt like I was made of magic. I traveled to different "rooms" filled with cathedral-like geometry. Breathing was easy and probably the deepest of my life. I felt like this great indescribably good love and light was deep inside of me but it felt dampened and out of reach. I threw up bile and let out some incredibly deep coughs that left my chest and throat sore for days. I was spitting out a thick layer of mucus that continued for five days. I also listed to sofeggio frequencies with nice headphones. I highly recommend this. Then I found Ketamine State yoga (r/KetamineStateYoga) Trip 9: 400mg (plugged) Intention: Embrace my inner fire, invite in Christ energy, practice Ketamine State Yoga (KSY) Pre-Trip: 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathwork Onset: I practiced intuitive breathing with an emphasis on relaxing my brow, throat, and heart chakras. The process was smooth, and there was a relatively small amount of tension compared to previous trips. I listed to Meditative Mind with headphones and I could feel my whole body vibrating in resonance with very little resistance. It felt great. The visuals were subtle but more refined and multi-layered than previous trips. Peak: I practiced the Primary KSY pranayama maybe 12 - 15 times. I quickly realized the value of the sigh and following my breath all the way to the bottom and past the first urge to inhale. Every time I did this, it felt good, and when I made it past the first urge to inhale, it felt like there was a layer of resistance dissolving. It felt like a partial death. I saw a vision of a blue Hindu deity (perhaps Kali). As the resistance dissolved, my awareness of the present deepened. As my awareness deepened, I became aware of more feeling details, like an increase of the resolution of my feelings (720p -> 1080p -> 4k). And as the resolution increased, it felt more and more beautiful. There was no incredible breakthrough moment, just a subtle increase in beauty and pleasantness every time I did the pranayama. Toward the end, I felt this very gentile and alive energy, like I had just begun to wake up from a long restful sleep. Not mind blowing bliss, but just pleasant and clean. I remember feeling great clarity and some point, not feeling much at all - just openness… and that felt really great. I realized I don’t need great pleasure to be satisfied. Simple openness and relative freedom from pain is enough. Some things I remember saying: Death is the dissolution of boundaries. Life begins beyond death. The real death is clinging to life. My purpose is to cultivate freedom- in me, through me, as me. Come down: ate some amazing pumpkin pie but I had family duties to take care of so I didn’t get to practice much KSY. Overall, this was my most pleasant and gentile ketamine experience. I will certainly be doing more KSY when I start another round of treatment. The primary KSY pranayama really is a difference maker and was the biggest missing piece in my practice. Conclusion: Overall, I am incredibly grateful for this experience. Ketamine is an amazing substance with great therapeutic potential. It taught me deep lessons on freedom, presence, breathing, self-love, surrender, Nature, energy, femininity, masculinity, and much more. I plan on doing more ketamine in the future when I have time and can afford it. It has helped me do great healing and i feel considerably more free than when i started. Tips that I'll be applying in the future: Practice Ketamine State Yoga. This practice was instrumental and I look forward to exploring it more, as I only really got a taste. Practice daily meditation and journaling to deepen your trips. Listen to solfeggio frequencies or relaxing lyricless music on a nice speaker/headphones during your trip Hydrate a lot on the come-down to help ease dizziness Give yourself as much interrupted time as possible to trip and integrate. Thanks for reading. I hope this is valuable to someone out there. I'm happy to discuss anything you like. Blessings.

Today, Figure announced a robot called Figure 02. It is a piece of engineering & art. What I want you to contemplate is that this ROBOT WAS MADE BY HUMANS - GUESS WHAT, YOU ARE HUMAN TOO. What kind of mind creates a work like that? Look at the level of excellence, beauty, genius, engineering, design, art. You should strive to do meaningful powerful work. If you are working on a field of expertise and you don't want to achieve the level of excellence they achieved with this robot in your work, you should leave to find meaningful work that you care about. Apply that lens to all aspects of your reality, striving to extreme excellence in walking, cooking, talking, cleaning. I feel extremely proud to be human - I think it is the first moment in my life that I've really become aware about the power of mastery & excellence. A fire in my soul has awakened.

If the duality of subject and object is just an appearance, does it mean that at the deeper levels of reality choice and decision making don't actually exist ? Is everything simply happening automatically ? Any interesting perspectives on this topic would be most welcome.

As a side study, I am trying to collect the history of Females who attained high levels of Awakening. I feel we need to integrate this side. So I am realing some books and making research. Help is accepted for those who know a bit about it. I know from study that the Oracles of Delphi were woman, and many Woman were Prophets,Priests and Magicians in the Past. In the Modern days we have woman shamans, Maria Sibina,a dn many others so I found this Tibetan Important Being called: Yeshe Tsogyal https://www.shambhala.com/the-secret-life-story-of-yeshe-tsogyal.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeshe_Tsogyal known as "Victorious Ocean of Knowledge", "Knowledge Lake Empress" attained enlightenment in her lifetime and is considered the Mother of Tibetan Buddhism she began studying Buddhism with Padmasambhava, who became her main karmamudrā consort She is known to have revealed terma with Padmasambhava and was also the main scribe for these terma. Later, Yeshe Tsogyal also hid many of Padmasambhava's terma on her own, under the instructions of Padmasambhava for future generations Is with the concept of Terma that I need a second opinion. Because we have the concept of Karma yes, but Terma is a Nebulous thing, sounds like a sort of Revelation that can be hidden is a object or even in space or maybe in Akashic records. So imagine you are able to acess the field as a libary and download information from there or even up-load wisdom in there. of course when I say there I am using dual language but for any of you who had acess to some frequency realm you know what I am talkig about, is not Physical at all. Ok back to the concept of Terma https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terma_(religion) Terma "hidden treasure") are various forms of hidden teachings that are key to Vajrayana and Tibetan Buddhist and Bon spiritual traditions. In the Vajrayana Nyingma school tradition, two lineages occur: an oral kama lineage and a revealed terma lineage. Tradition holds that terma teachings were originally esoterically hidden by eighth-century Vajrayana masters Padmasambhava and Yeshe Tsogyal, to be discovered at auspicious times by treasure revealers known as tertöns. As such, terma represent a tradition of continuous revelation in Vajrayana and Tibetan Buddhism. My interesst here is in the topic of TERTONS. since is via ternons that the continous revelation are channeled. And what the possibility to become one of this channelers. Again about the Importance of study Females Awakened beings the Wiki say this about her " "In the body of a woman As to the question of the place of female practitioners in Tibetan Buddhism, Yeshe Tsogyal has been an important role model. When she herself asked about "her inferior female body" (a common theme in the biographies of female spiritual practitioners), Padmasambhava advised Yeshe Tsogyal that far from being a hindrance to enlightenment, as was generally accepted, a woman's body is an asset: "The basis for realizing enlightenment is a human body. Male or female, there is no great difference. But if she develops the mind bent on enlightenment the woman’s body is better." After many years of serious study and meditative practice, Yeshe Tsogyal's level of spiritual awakening, enlightenment, was equal to that of Padmasambhava. The body is the vessel, the Veichle of Attainment, must be clear this for anyone, even for the ones who claim that the body is just a dream as everything else. The truth is that If you going to use any techinique to Awaken you will use the body structure as the Trampolin. ShamanicBrething,Bandas,DMT,5MEO DMT.. ETC.. All demands a human body. and a trainment of the mind to make the breakthought. The Terton is someone who channel Wisdom, so, I keep thinking how much Termas or "Hidden Treasures" there are hidden in Tibetan Valts? Just a curiosity. Would demand a travel to Tibet and somehow acess to the Books there to know. But why make the physical effort to access treasures if all the wisdom even gatherered from any human mind came from the same iNFINITE source of Intelligence? But again, about the writen texts, there are acctualy tresure hunters in this world that have passion to find out this lost sacred texts . check this : https://himalaya.socanth.cam.ac.uk/collections/journals/jiabr/pdf/JIABR_01_10.pdf On the tab Terton on wikipedia is decribed about Khakyab Dorje, 15th Karmapa Lama The 15th Karmapa Khakyab Dorje of the Karma Kagyu Lineage was a tertön. There was a prophecy from Yeshe Tsogyal that he should take tantric consorts. Initially, he wished to stay a monk, but his health was failing. Meditation masters told him he would die if he didn't fulfill his functions as a tertön. In 1892, he was convinced to marry when he was 20 years old. By the time the 15th karmapa died, he had accumulated 40 boxes of termas, texts and objects This bit make one ask is the path of celibate is really functional for all. What if engaging with a consort may be a way up to increase the advencdement of spiritual awakening instead of being a hindrance? See in this particular historical case the guy would die if he keept ignoring the destiny of his soul path. That is something that I admire in Traditional Lineages, in this Traditions there are a whole clan of wizards around that can sense who is aimed to certain paths. Even is Amazom Tribes the boys who the Shaman see that have a call for the Craft are selected and trained since young age to become a Shaman himself. And from oral transmision, those guys have no books, all they know is transmited by Songs To finish about the Necessity of a Consort to be able to be a Terton: Tertön practices Consorts, with whom they practice sexual yoga or karmamudra to accelerate and enhance their capacity for realization, are thought to be very important to tertöns.[6] Fremantle (2001: p. 19) states that: One of the special requirements for the discovery of termas is the inspiration of the feminine principle, just as it was necessary for their concealment. The great majority of tertöns have been men, and generally they are accompanied by their wives or female companions (who need not necessarily have a sexual relationship with them). Alternatively, something representing the tertön's complementary energy, whether male or female, must be present. Yet, even very realized female practitioners bring forth terma, sometimes with an living male consort and sometimes alone. Dakini Sera Khandro is a notable example of a woman tertön. Although the authenticity and value of a terma may be questioned or debated, tertöns are exempt from being judged according to their behavior and lifestyle, with Guru Rinpoche having cautioned that "hidden enlightened beings appear in uncertain form" and, by contrast, "fool-deceivers are great hypocritical mimics of the dharmic practitioner".

You know because when you come out of it you say holy shit I remeber I was just there and I was sleeping and waking up in a void. Ironically this is how I awakened I remembered that I was in a void 8 years before i awoke and a voice in my head said how can you remeber being in a void? And I understood at that moment what consciousness is and my head exploded.

Yes. Way more. Human consciousness is peanuts. So-called awakened humans are just ants in God's Mind.

Who or what are the machine elves? Who are you, the one wanting to meet them? Who are you before your parents were born? You can't get there, since you are already there. How fast your mindstream will conform to the quite specific conditions (among them nondual & awakened & boundless & timeless & impersonal) necessary to realize and understand that beyond a shadow of a doubt: Who can know? But in the end you can't avoid it. So have fun along the way. When you are tired of the necessary contraction and suffering that constitutes believing to be a single wave in the ocean & wanting to say hi to more machine elves & aliens, the Infinite Ocean is always there for you to drop in and to dissolve into your boundless infinite and eternal nature. PS: Saying hi to the machine elves & aliens fast and efficiently can speeden up the process of getting tired & satisfied of having done that also. What is better: Aiming directly for dropping into the Infinite Ocean asap., or aiming for meeting the machine elves & aliens & turtles as fast as possible in order to be done with that: No one can tell you, only the intuition of your heart can tell you what your Karma is.

Already in our realm exists mathematical Infinity. And different sets of Infinities (Cantor). Differently sized Infinities. Some larger, some smaller, as weird as that sounds. It can be mathematically proven (see Wikipedia for example). The Reality which contains this already in our realm has to contain also these Infinity of Infinities, since they appear IN our realm already as mathematical objects. And hence, Reality contains the potential (and actuality) for Infinity "upwards", Infinity "downwards". Just look at a fractal zoom. One has to make peace with it: An Infinity of Realms manifested right now, hence upwards complexity to Infinity. And Infinity of complexity also downwards: Good luck trying to find the most fundamental building block of Reality: NEVER. Its perspectives/beings/Holons all the way down, and all the way up. Turtles all the way down, and all the way up. And True Being is Infinite Being: Not finite = Can't measure it. It is not one of these Holons, nor the sum total of all Holons. All of that is just appearance, not the Infinite Absolute. Nor can one say anything positive about it, since "it" is all Reality. Madhyamaka. Can never be pointed to as an object. Its not Infinity of Infinities, these are mathematical objects which can very well be pointed at. There is a huge difference between Infinite and Infinity. A lapse in Leos philosophy confusing these two, with pretty heavy consequences. And since there is an Infinity of Infinities, not all possible realms have to be manifested right now for there to be an Infinity of realms. And God will also never run of Infinities of realms to manifest (An Infinity of Infinities, Cantor). And on top, that doesn't even mean that all possible realms have to be manifested (now or in eternal "future") for God to never run out of a parellel manifestation of an Infinity of realms, continuing for Infinity. That can already be deducted correctly just alone from the mathematics of this realm and extrapolated to the larger Reality containing this realm/Universe. Awe inspiring? Yes. Scary for the separate-self. For sure. Once the separate-self and its need for understanding, survival and what not is transcended & switched off: God will have great fun playing hide and seek, again and again... Lets explore, there is timeless eternity to do exactly that! Just don't get hung up on trying to awaken/understand all the alien islands/turtles. Turtles all the way up, all the way down. Grasping for that understanding/alien whatever is the perfect recipe to spoil the fun. What grasps for understanding and alien islands? Not the Infinite Ocean. Only the illusion of the separate-wave-surfer. If the wave-surfer has dropped in the ocean and dissolved in its Infinite Being, expressing this as being stabilized as in blissful nondual infinite Awakened Awareness, and then goes exploring alien islands in the Infinite Ocean: Great. But if the wave-surfer has not dropped & dissolved in the ocean and does its alien wave-surfing to cope with the suffering/contraction of the separate-self/wave-surfer: Great show, just not om mani padme hum. Neither for the wave-surfer, nor for "others". Like that guy with the Messiah Complex?

Sure? If I were you I would start wondering why you are not in a nondual infinite state of mere appearance in daily life sobre. Hint: Remaining not transcended very fast and sneaky appearing separate-self thoughts/feelings/filters/lenses which are not seen through because Awareness is too slow to cut these off real-time. And these separate-self-remnants hypnotize and give bias to all appearing appearance. Btw., not theory, but personal experience. What stands between you and impersonal nondual infinite mere appearance Awakened Awareness is... too much not fast enough seen through/cut off Leo. And through these lenses you filter all your Alien- and facets of Awakening experiences. Trust me on that: You can not anticipate how it is when these finally drop. And all your alien-preferences are the same illusion-filters of... Leo. Sure there are Aliens against we all look like ants! But they have the same essence as "we" have. And then there are Aliens against which the alien of the former sentence look like ants. Forever, turtles upon turtles upon turtles... And there are Aliens that make that alien-Leo-consciousness (of) appear like ants. Turtles upon Turtles, n+1, forever. But have fun climbing that turtles... You go wave surfing, yours truly dissolved in the Infinite Ocean... its a free country I guess. Ok, lets see if Keanu spirit is still among us: "I'm at that stage in life where I stay out of discussions. Even if you say 1+1=5, you're right - have fun." - Keanu Reeves Selling "Have fun" by the River

@Salvijus The way I interpreted your repeated ending was as a closing of a strange loop, inflecting and closing the cycle. The authority reply was pretty profound, you'd have to become the things you seek to influence through transcendence. What is a "Thief" anyway? We make up rules, set boundaries, create individual and collective social systems with property and so forth. A thief might be a thief without knowing they're a thief, might not have a related philosophy at all, it might just be a projected label upon them. In a deeper sense however, the concept of thieves existed basically forever and is easy to grasp, much has been said and some cases are more obvious and mutually agreed upon than others. To take from others, yet we take/lend food of the earth, we kill animals and steal their life and flesh when we have an abundance of resources. We steal each others energies through gossip, envy, malicious behavior, ego and steal our own energy as well. Time is being stolen by advertisements and institutions at all scales. People steal from the planet without caring to give anything back. Focusing on petty thieves really does a disservice to the scale and potential of the argument. Nice one! How about an unknown known? Like you forgot what you wanted to say but know you knew what it was. What is one's nature? How come it doesn't change? Isn't that limiting? I thought infinity had no limits. It's kinda good that they do though instead of hiding it away in an eco chamber. Confrontation allows progress. And so they use whoever is highly conscious as a mirror but it's a smart non-dual mirror, that will boggle their minds. It's fascinating how far this concept stretches and how vital it is realized to be when awakened to.

@Keryo Koffa I guess it's an interesting way of calling it a distraction. This dream is a distraction, even this conversation. I do beleive desires, no matter how primordial or even selfish are there to teach us to evolve in our way of achieving them. In fact a had a very awakening myself into the fact that the only thing that separates us from our desires are the distinctions we create in our mind from them by giving them the authority to remain out of reach, or to remain in the state of not having them. If we can achieve the state of having them this seperation held first in our consciousness will collapse and they can be easily manifested. I awakened to a hierarchy of desires, each go higher and higher even reaching into higher dreams that are transcendent of this one. The more we can awaken to our own godlike power locked away by illusions, we can realise each of these desires and shed more illusions of "limitation" and awaken. Desires are actually themselves an unavoidable consequence of being finite, and since the finite self is fundamentally false then you are left forever to feel desire until all infinity is once again fulfilled. They start of egoic and shallow and work their way up to higher desires for union and so on. I guess were left to burn that karma off.

The awakened ones can learn to say something about what women say and they'll be okay. But they have to be completely relaxed. Otherwise, it won't work.

I read your frustration and I see your points. Look everyone who is alive today has some ego, only those who transcendent do not have but they are also not here with us. And I agree with @Merkabah Star in his latest post about Leo, actually it’s weird lately I started to agree with him more than before. Now about about Leo. I mean I hope Leo won’t get upset but this is my observation of him. I believe I noticed three things Leo is biased, like really biased and no arguments in the world will change his mind, it’s politics on Israel, Trump and Covid vaccines. Like no matter how many arguments you will give Leo will not take anything into consideration. @Leo Gura I am not criticizing you but I know you want to be caught when you are bias and I bringing my humble view. But that said, having three biases only while most of us have over hundreds if not over thousand is almost nothing. That’s a truly big accomplishment. But when it comes to other topics listed outside the biases, oh Leo knows them as an expert. I am amazed the way he teach such complicated subjects using such simplistic language so that pretty much anyone can understand. I will admit that prior to discovering actualized.org I was listening to other philosophical channels, but they were not covering even a tenth of the depth Leo covers and using such complicated language that at least half went over my head. By now I have dropped all of them and only listen to actualized when it comes for personal development. And by the way, lately Leo is being more “vulgaric” in his tone that he is awakened and we are all asleep and not near it, and he is right, compare to awakening, we are still dreaming tenth dream while he is awake as early as a sunrise. He can criticize us that we cannot even begin to understand solipsism and that he probably is the only one who did understand, and I tell you, he is right on that. This person achieved such depth of understanding that I would say all of us combined are not even at his finger nails. And I am not exaggerating. So to conclude @questionreality no need to get upset or defensive, no one is here to convince anyone to change their views and those who are here to convince are actually wasting their time, we are here to express our different views or how we all see reality and that’s fine and that’s perfect. Especially when it comes to police there are a lot of biases poping up because they evoke our survival and living. So just accept others point of view even if you don’t agree but at the same time it’s ok and even correct to point to others that their thinking is just a way but not the way But remember, There is no one right way or a wrong way.

Oh, seeing my name I feel honored, sorry to be late to the party, had to integrate after my last insanity trip When I was around five, I fell asleep while on an air mattress drifting away from shore, at some point I fell of and awakened under water, I was standing on the ground and saw rays of light and algae, the environment so clearly! I could breathe underwater and it also felt as you describe "lighter, bouncier, more colorful, like a mystical wonderland", it was amazing and beautiful and I was starting to head to the shore just slowly walking underwater, next thing I know my father noticed and pulled me out, I coughed up some water and remembered the experience, so then I tried to repeat it but it didn't work after this. KA-ME-HA-ME-HAAAAAAAAAA! There are so many interconnected energy life forces and related processes at this point: Kundalini, Prahna, Ki/Chi/Qi, Akash, Mana, Will, Spirit, Light, Magic, as well as Frequency of Consciousness, Level of Awareness, Extent of Control, Emptiness of Ego, Determination of Will, Spiral Evolution, Fractal Complexification, Singularity Synchronization, Self-Transcendence, or simply FLOW. And the way I see it, they all refer to the same phenomenon through sometimes different, sometimes similar, sometimes same dimensions of actuality. Sadhguru said much about this and I myself practiced for about two hours of max 3 breaths a minute, it massively tuned my mind into peace. It's also said that the more still you are, the more you embody Shiva and tap into the source of infinite intelligence which lies at 0, and my psychedelic trips often automatically slowed sown my heart even though I rarely took advantage of it as my hyperbrain took each chance to accelerate itself to expand and navigate all the states, which made it so I didn't go as deep as I could have into a single one. Breath as a medium to move and transport energy in the body, one would assume the complexity of the body would need some forces to know how to change and morph and take care of its biological and physiological aspects to exist in the material world and interact with it. I had a very weird experience in my last trip however, when I broke reality and stopped time and became indestructible, but also it seemed like I could move objects, yet nothing was changing, yet I was moving, it was weird and I think I deluded myself much but it's still an interesting experience. It goes into the territory of how bodies would work if we kept them as a medium outside the material realm in out of body energy form experiences. Now this makes one wonder, what isn't prahna? Is everything prahna, just in different distributions? Is the energy holding the rock together from crumbling prahna? Or is it just "living" energy like the one that transforms one type of matter/object into a lifeform or another form? How does it fit into the five elements: Earth, Water, Fire, Air, Akash? Is it the Akash moving the other four energies or do they have intelligence on their own? Is Akash the same as Chitta? Sadhguru describes them very similarly. How does it all link to consciousness and conscious manipulation of the elements, their proportions and properties? Do "psychic fields" or belief systems affect what can be true or tune people in and out of realities or is it just ignorance of disbelieving something even if it appears the same to you as anyone and you just keep consciously ignoring it? Or can it be that the ego overrides reality not to perceive what it doesn't believe in? Ah, the Torus Field! aka. Homeostasis/Life Energy/Intelligence/Spirit to maintain a form of entity. @Javfly33 Back to my take on the main topic, in my psychedelic experience life energy is something you will through consciousness and you can use mediums as movement or breathing or meditation or focus or discomfort to raise energies. The way I see prahna specifically, is a technology related to breath/air, that raises life force through controlled disciplined breath techniques and vitalizes the body and mind in the process. And that process of raising energies of course affects all other systems as well and consciousness, understanding, intelligence, love as a result of increased consciousness which results from surrender, control, discipline and focus.