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@Wisebaxter "focusing" and "letting go" are actually the same in this instance. We are focusing on the nothingness of letting go

I'm still a little unsure how to know exactly when I've managed to focus in on awareness, especially as I hear it's comprised of nothingness. Leo said to become aware that you are aware, but when I do that I worry I'm just focusing on the concept of 'I am aware.' Or do I just follow my awareness and watch what it does, a bit like Adyashanti's True Meditation? I still can't work out if he's basically describing self inquiry with that technique. Should I perhaps be focusing on 'no thought,' or 'the void,' as essentially that's awareness, isn't it? Focusing on the quietness? Any tips would be awesome. Help a poor monkey out

Yup When self-inquiry shows the temporary dissolution of ego, that is precisely what's known as a 'glimpse.' It cannot be accurately described, so some people call it infinity, and some call it nothingness, and some call it spaciousness. The I feeling is followed to get to the glimpse, which is simply a recognition of one's nature. It's called a glimpse because it seems to come and go, but actually it never comes or goes. This is making it too complicated. It's quite simple: if you're dissatisfied, if you're searching, if you want something (including enlightenment) and don't know how to get it, there is the illusory I, whether you think so or not. So you have to inquire into to whom this dissatisfaction appears. if there's effortless peace while being able to function in the world, then that is the true "I." It's not a question you ask like a factual question expecting some answer. It's focusing on the feeling... you do know that you are. You are aware of this "object within the field of consciousness." That feeling -- hold that feeling. And then ask what it is you think you are holding. You will find that if you think you are holding something, it is not the I. Because you are aware of that something, and you cannot be something of which you are aware. So then again try to hold that feeling... and again and again and again until you understand just how it is that you know that you are.

The impersonal Self (no-self) cannot experience an absence of Self. It is self aware (self knowing), self existing, with no need for anything other than itself to know itself. Absolute Nothingness is simply the absence of the objects of perception such as the external world ,universe, body, mind, thoughts, feelings,sensations,etc., Self only ever experiences Self, with or without objects. Including the imagined "conscious" personal self or "ego". Pure Consciousness is prior to the thought based/imagined (i.e, non-existent self) which claims itself to be conscious. What is aware of the nothingness,in which That itself,cannot be described as neither something nor nothing?

@winterknight Just curious, ever had or heard from anyone directly - having an infinity, or ‘nothingness’, ‘glimpse’ from self inquiry, or other practices? Or just primarily the feeling / realization? Thanks! Love this thread btw, much appreciated ♥️

Lol. You're full of bull no offence The state you're talking about is called Mukti, Nirvan, Moksha. It's a state of total dissolusion. Total dissolusion can happen only if you dissolve all karma. There's is whole system in Bhuddhism and techneques how to do that. There are interesting other methods to do that also. Like Khala Bhairava. It means ultimate suffering. It's when your guru at the moment of your death makes you experience a suffering of a thousands of lifetimes in one moment to dissolve you and liberate you. Still you see. It's about dissolving karma. There could be other methods I'm aware of but basicly unless you dissolve all the karma there's no escape for you to become absolute nothingness. Your explanation was weird. Maybe it's true idk I'm not the expert. But doesn't feel very scientific and logical.

I have been thinking about what it means for existence to be infinite for a long time and it seems like I keep getting stuck. I am aware that one cannot contemplate oneself into true understanding about infinitude, but still I cannot let go the concept of it. If reality is absolutely boundless, does that not mean that everything we are doing is in an absolute and total way fully meaningless? It confuses me that Leo keeps talking about the importance of enlightenment, or of any other thing in life. Is it not inevitable that god manifests all possible and impossible realities no matter what will happen in this reality? Even if Leo gets enlightened now, has the best life he could possibly have, won't god experience a life in which Leo did fail? A life in which Leo never lost his weight and eventually got a heart attack? A life in which Leo keeps little children in his basement who he rapes every day? A life in which Leo, after reading this very sentence, is going to kill himself for no reason whatsoever? And if that is not the case, then how can god be limitless and infinite? And if it indeed is the case, it means that god will experience Leo in every possible form there can be for eternity, and already has experienced all of Leo's possible and impossible life's. Is everything Leo doing not a reaction of his ego, an inability to surrender to the truth? And even if it is not the case, does there not have to exist a reality in which that necessarily is the case? Either way that would mean that no matter what Leo does he cannot avoid not experiencing all the possibilities, one day he will suffer, as an unsuccessful and miserable Leo. I was thinking along these lines and then I remember something I have contemplated when I was a teenager. I had the intellectual recognition that reality had to be boundless a long time ago, by contemplating why reality would be the way it is and why it is not any other way. It seemed very obvious that there could not be anything that would limit reality, as anything that would limit it would itself have to be limited by something else so that it would limit reality in that particular way. But that begged a few very paradoxical questions: If reality is truly boundless, then does there not have to exist a reality which cancels all other realities? A reality which stretches it's tentacles into all of the infinitude of reality to root it back into nothingness? And does there not have to exist a reality outside of ALL realities? It has to exist, after all reality cannot be limited, it cannot be bound whatsoever. If this was the case though reality would be absolutely chaotic, nothing could exist because everything would immediately be taken apart by infinite destructive power, infinite death. There would be infinite realities popping into existence while immediately disappearing. It seems like these two elements would nullify each other, but then there would have to exist a reality in which they don't nullify each other. And then today, when I remembered this, I suddenly had the idea that out of that process would have to evolve intelligence, much in the same way it does in our universe. There is a force of chaos and a force of order, and because all realities which do not have strong order would be ripped apart by chaos, there would only be those realities left which had a mechanism against this chaotic power. And because this chaotic power is infinite, the realities would have to construct themselves in an infinitely intelligent way. In other words, intelligence is and unlimited limit, a limit upon Chaos with a capital C. It would be like survival and evolution were not mechanisms of nature, but rather metaphysical aspects that are unavoidable, and these aspects would then resonate into the realities which prevailed. And now it is obvious for why reality has to be love. The only reality that could manifest and not be destroyed by infinite chaos would have to be a reality which infinitely loves it's manifestation, it's own existence. If it wasn't infinitely loving it's intelligence would not be concerned for the manifestation whatsoever. In a very real sense that would mean that love is a prerequisite for existence, for only that which loves itself will preserve itself. These aspects seem to reflect in some shape or form our ordinary consciousness, as we strive to survive because of our selfish love, and that reminds me of the saying that god created us in his own image. It almost seems like for structure to exist at all there needs to be a fundamental force which keeps it from dissolving, and that force simply is love. But then the question is, would the infinite destructive power not evolve too, being put under the same evolutionary pressures, to then destroy the infinitely loving reality? Would there not be a reality which infinitely loves destruction, death and suffering? And maybe that is what our reality is, a fight between these two forces? It all just confuses me more and more, there is so much I have not even began to think about and it seems like this would go on and on for infinity. But then what is infinite intelligence, why does it exist? Does it exist precisely because this process goes on for infinity? I have no idea anymore. I guess what I would like to know is what infinite intelligence is, why it exists and whether it's existence means that not all realities will manifest, but only particular ones?

@Highest I don't understand these terms nondual world and dual world. My theoretical understanding is either you can be in nothingness and cannot function from that state. So necessarily one has come out of nothingness to function in the world. ?

@Ethankahn Absolute Nothingness is not without experiencing on a sensory level. No sensory, no experience. What you talking about is a future thought, and idea, a concept. That is not real. Simply does not exist. Simply, is impossible to verify that.

I can’t sleep so I will write about something I became conscious of some 30 min back. Only GOD IS. Do you see? It came like an insight, only the non-dual One IS. This includes Everything: Infinity, nothingness, all of existence and life. Everything. Only the non-dual Infinite One (God) is. All of reality and existence and experiences is God. What can I say, it just clicked: There is only God, only God alone IS. I became directly aware of It and at the same time I became conscious that It (God) is the only existent, the only thing (or rather no-thing) that IS.

to admire the beauty of consciousness, to use creativity to solve the worlds problems, to make some money and survive, to give my life a immaterial purpose, to challenge myself, to discover higher potentials within me, to make a career out of helping others, to create a hero's journey, to show others that life can be more than just getting a 9-5 job, to create purpose for other, or to help them find purpose in their lives, to work in a team to create ,to find practical solutions, to start up a business envoking high values, to motivate others, to enjoy my life, to find a sense of fulfillment, to do something with my life these are the reasons on which my life purpose is built is this egoic? because enlightenment shows that nothing is wrong and that instead i should be focusing on purifying myself and having a direct experience of nothingness/ finding the "I" in self inquiry and putting this first instead of going on a wild goose chase, this is the question i find that leads me to ask myself am i in the right or wrong to pursue a life purpose

I am a huge Matrix fan, obviously. The movie is a masterpiece. The actual thing is a prison. But still a masterpiece. So here's what lays beyond the conceptual matrix that most of humanity lives in; Nothing is the most you will ever have. Your idea of nothingness does not equal nothingness. In fact; it is impossible for you to imagine nothing. Especially not while trapped in the matrix. Nothing is unimaginable for a good reason. It is unspeakable. Nevertheless, I will try to paint a picture for ya. Beyond the maze there is pure, infinite emptiness. A blank canvas. Nothing. No canvas, either. No time, no space, no dimensions, no identity. No isness or amness. Not even the notion of life or existence. In pure nothingness all there can ever be is pure awareness of nothingness. Or the complete absence of it. Which would then be Absolute Nothingness. No notion of anything at all. No nothing even. What once was a prison; a hell - now becomes a paradise; a playground for creators. You may have struggled to escape the matrix and break down all limitations, but guess what...? Once you brake through all concepts and limitations, transcend both life and death, merge with infinite nothingness and become comfortable with emptiness - you will want to build a new matrix. New concepts. New realities. After all you do have a completely blank canvas now. And you are totally limitless. Free. Of course you will want to play. To create. To experience your infinitude. History repeats itself, indeed. And it can take on infinite forms. Express in infinite ways. There are 12 notes in a musical octave. The 13th one is the same as the first one. Just in a new octave. Perfect illusion. Every thing collapses down on itself. Is being reborn out of itself. Rises from it's own ashes. Like a phenix. The first note in the octave is what gives meaning to all the following notes. The 13th note is a rebirth. A new beginning. An illusive continuation of the same cycle. It only appears different; higher or lower. The 13th note is both real and an illusion. It is both same and totally different from the first one. Depending on where you are and what your intentions are. An F# is an F#; no matter what octave you're in. But the illusion of difference between octaves is what gives beauty and meaning to music. Dynamics. Range. Diversity. More room for expression. Octaves go on forever. No matter which direction you choose to go. You can go as high or as low as you can hear. And if you persist long enough; you will always find yourself exactly where you begun; nowhere. Design and build concepts in alignment with your highest intention; highest will. One must create limitations if one desires to experience one's infinitude. One must ground nothingness into somethingness. Otherwise absolute nothingness is all there would be. Forever. An awakened awareness is aware of this fact. Limitations are not bad, ultimately. They are pure blessings. Being unaware of them, their purpose and meaning, is what causes suffering. But suffering is necessary, as well. Golden. An extremely powerful experience. Awareness fears no intensity. Does not resist pain. Or anything else. It experiments; experiencing infinite varieties of itself. No meaning = Your meaning. This is coming from a higher octave. Not from the octave of egoic stubbornness, ignorance and/or narcissism. Be aware; I speak of "existence" after self-transcendence here. Do not missinterpret authenticity. Create your meaning. Make it as meaningful as it can possibly get. Or meaningless - if that's what floats your boats. The point is to get fully immersed in whatever it is you choose to do or not do. Make it fully experiental. Be aware of it all. To see sharp. Actions are supported by passion and love. Excitement and thrill is what keeps everything... exciting and thrilling. Fun. Surprising. Expansive. You will be eager to play, trust me. Or don't... Not as an ego. As God. As Infinity itself. So do it in love and peace. With anticipation and eagerness. Willpower and dedication. After all; now, in this new octave - you are able to detach at will from any circumstance. Any role, any character, any identity, any fragment. You have a new card up your sleeve, so to speak. Use it wisely and maturely. Responsibly. Consciously. But also; do dare to dream your wildest dreams. Be the child you are. Mistakes are stories of past. Your time is now. And it's not going anywhere. Plenty of time to "fix mistakes". Now it's time to play. To make love. To unite. To expand into infinite nothingness. To create worlds. Stars. Universes. Multiverses. To masturbate eternally. To dance. There could possibly be no better thing in the entire existence; or the illusion of it. It is unspeakable. No matter how long I try to describe it, point at it; it's all for nothing. No one could possibly ever believe this. One has to be it. And even then one will not be able to believe it. You are beyond belief. There is no need for belief. There is only Consciousness playing with itself. A perspective. A free agent. An explorer - a creator. Both God and The Devil; merged as One. As Infinity. Afterlife is no life at all. And that's the best life you can ever have. It is true heaven. Same game - different levels. Everything will stay the same; yet it will be radically different. On this level of the game; the player becomes aware of himself. Remembers his true nature. Does not confuse himself with the game or the characters in it anymore. And that brings new power. New capabilities. New gifts. More wisdom. More love and compassion. Will strong as a rock. The game of life becomes the best game that could possibly ever exist. It is genius. Contains infinite possibilities and opportunities for growth, expansion and exploration. Infinite configurations of consciousness. Constant rearrangement. Constant play. Non stop fun. NO MORE SLEEP Essentially; that is what you have been after since forever. Constant awareness. Awake eternally; continuously. No pause - no break. Razor sharp senses. It took you some time. But now time is no more. The rest was long enough. You are awake now and have no need to go back to sleep. At least not for another eternity. Freedom. Effortless manifestation. Wisdom. Knowledge. Intelligence. Creativity. Fun. Unconditional love. Excitement. Joy. Bliss. Peace. All of that lays beyond the matrix. And is directly experiental through authentic desire. All that is you birthright. You are the infinite creator. All there is. You are The Matrix itself. You are... THE ONE

@Mikael89 That’s however not how I know that I am God. I’m directly aware and conscious that I am God, this came about from several NON-dual experiences and awakenings, both sober and high. The God I’m conscious of is Everything: Infinity, finite, nothingness, everything. The God I’m conscious of is a metaphysical fact, I’m conscious that only It alone exists and is everything, whatever it is. You can doubt that I am God, that comes from you still living in illusion and not being conscious. I know what I am and nothing can change that.

Yet another download; yet another quick guide. A few conceptual steps in order to reach a higher understanding of magic. You are reality. Should be apparent by now. There is no separation between anything at all. You are always having a direct experience of yourself. Always have been and will be. Each dream; each reality has it's own core frequency, from which everything is being expressed through infinite manifestations. Awareness can become aware of this core frequency. It can change it. Readjust. Shift. Awareness comes prior to frequency. Frequency is made of awareness; to put it that way. If you don't like the movie; change the channel. Don't complain about what's going on in the movie. It's perfect as it is. A perfect expression of that which it is supposed to represent. Would you expect to watch an action movie on The Discovery channel? Probably not. You'd switch to another channel. A more appropriate one. You would shift to another station. Choose another frequency. There is little to no difference when it comes to reality. You would not expect the main character in the movie to change the entire movie for you to enjoy watching what you prefer. Does not go that way. You wanna watch something else? Experience something else? Shift to it. Stop running into brickwalls. Leave the character behind. Forget about the movie. They are what they are. Can be nothing else. You have to detach from this movie not being what you expected it to be. Detached from the main character. You gotta switch to another channel. Here's some practicality; If you were to press the white key on a piano; would you do it by being focused on pressing the white key, or by being focused on not pressing the black one? Sure; you must acknowledge there is a black key, as well. You must know there is a possibility for you to hit the black key. But you want to hit the white one, really. You want that particular note. That particular frequency. You cannot achieve what you wish to experience while being focused on what you do not. And I am not pointing towards positive thinking and (forced) affirmation. Sure those have their place in the process of transformation. But... I am pointing towards a rather powerful thing. A decision. Hard as a rock. A choice. Radical rearrangement. Massive shift. Decide you want to experience what you want to experience. Let go of that which is not the representation of your new, preferred reality. Ignore it all politely, with a smile on your face. See only that which represent you newborn core frequency. Focus only on that which resonates. Which inspires, excites and motivates. Have that tunnel vision. See nothing but your preferred reality. Nothing but confirmations of your progress. Detach in love and peace. Say your goodbyes as many times as you feel like. You want to watch another movie. Nothing wrong with that. No crime committed. It is your birthright to choose dreams and experiences. To imagine realities that will be the perfect expression of your true nature. Of your core frequency. Have no remorse. Have no regret. Change is natural. Necessary. Align action with imagination. This is the recipe for a successful shift and rearrangement. For effrotless manifestation. Imagination is a direct link between the channel where you currently are and the one you want to shift to. It's pure, infinite potential. All of imagination is directly experiental. There is literally no difference from the absolute point of view between manifesting a giant pile of money or a single penny. Or any thing else, for that matter. The universe knows no limitations. You impose them. You dictate what is possible and what impossible. Become aware of those limitations. Focus on transcending them. Letting them go. Proving them nonsensical. You have to detach from all previously, unconsciously accepted misaligned beliefs. "The work" is (mostly) metaphysical. Happens nowhere; in nothingness. It is pure consciousness work, so to speak. Also; Be aware of the possibility of over-conceptualization pulling you back in terms of moving forward. Do not let imagination and expectations turn into a heavy burden which you carry around. Use imagination in alignment. Do not get lost in it. Act in alignment towards it. Let go of all outcome. Allow all possibilities. Let all come to you. Let magic work. Creativity is key. When in states of creativity and flow; no one is there to filter magic. To limit possibilities. The most incredible, unbelievable and miraculous things happen when one does not expect any outcome at all. When there are no limitations. No conceptual models of what and when should or should not happen. No imposition of any form of control over future. Only flow. Only allowance. Only emptiness. True, authentic joy and passion. Creativity will always find new, creative ways to blow your mind with absolute miracles. To get you closer to that which you wish to experience. To get you far beyond your expectations. And it will do it no time. You literally won't be able to believe it. You deserve it all. You are worthy of it all. Again; absolutely no difference in any experience you have. In any movie you watch. You are the one thinking you are somehow bound to watching only one movie; over and over again. When clearly; it has gotten way too boring and predictable. You are not chained to your current reality. Give that to yourself which will fulfill your whole being. Be the bringer of the change you'll be proud of seeing, experiencing. No one is depriving you of anything. No one is deprived of anything by you having it all. Those are stories; illusions. Created by those unwilling to let go of past. To transform. To grow and evolve. See through the limitations of those ideas. Laugh at them. You are limitless. No thought could ever stop you. Createyour heaven. Step into it. Be it; experience it. Have no worries about a single thing. The past is an echo slowly being swallowed by nothingness.

@Karas "you" is a label. A pointer. Pointing towards that which cannot be pointed towards. Nobody. Nothingness. The answer is not occuring. The answer simply is. And it is not an answer unless it answers your question. Whatever it appears to be; it comes straight from nowhere.

Of course not. No such thing as "apart" from anything. Absolute Nothingness is God; premanifested. Formlessness is the true form of God. Of all there is.

@Hellspeed Experiences are things. So, if you're still experiencing it, then it's not Absolutely Nothing. You also just said that it is cold. Absolute Nothing is neither hot nor cold. It has no temperature. I believe you're experiencing what you say, but what you're experiencing doesn't sound like Absolute Nothingness (at least what I refer to as such).

By experience i can say, this reality or name it incarnation is the highest stage of consciousness; why? Because one can experience nothingness. The formless paradigm is just a projection on the basis of being. To shoot for the formless as priority is to be dead. Pure nothingness experienced through your being is something. Being dead is something else, there is no more experience through your being, there is no more identity, is only cold and chaos. Those who have died in can tell, they are envious in a way of the living. Because being dead re-incarnation is just a belief of the living. There is no re-incarnation, there is new life only, always. But those on the logic side can argue this all day, it has no meaning. There are no 2 beings out there alike, only conditioning by external sources and external beliefs. All this was created, (the afterlife) for those who have not awakened, to give them a sense of purpose. Those who already know how to rejuvenate the body they just laugh in the darkness, because the majority of humanity has no clue that is possible to reach a kind of immortality in this body, they think they will be bored, lol! But little they know that the changes of the body/mind can go to infinite growth. I speak about this banned or insane things because i'm experiencing it.

"The true perceiver is Nothingness" - many on this Forum How about: the true perceiver is Anythingness. Infinity can experience being fully in your perception without any sense of being in another's perception. Hence, why you may feel like you're only having a finite experience as one human person, despite being infinite. For infinity to be truly infinite, it must experience just your perception, just that other dude's perception, and also both simultaneously. So infinity is experiencing any and every perception. Which is why I call it Anythingness. This is just another viewpoint to give more clarity to the new Truth-seekers in this forum. I feel that talking about infinity as identical to Anythingness is easier to understand than referring to it as Nothingness. Just my opinion

I found this eerie quote from a book(I find it eerie because of a video I've seen). "You are not you--you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought. I myself have no existence; I am but a dream--your dream, a creature of your imagination. In a moment you will have realized this, then you will banish me from your visions and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever—for you will remain a thought, the only existent thought, and by your nature inextinguishable, indestructible. But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better! Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago—centuries, ages, eons, ago!—for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane—like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell—mouths mercy and invented hell—mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites a poor, abused slave to worship him! You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks—in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier. It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream—a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought—a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!" I remember watching this video a few years ago which led me to this quote

Whenever I've had philosophical problems (I don't know what to call them exactly.), I've turned to this forum because most other people will look at me like a nutcase or just say "Get over it!" or something like that. Don't think that will solve this though... After contemplating a lot of things deeply I've come to these conclusions/questions/problems: How can I be certain of anything? I exist and no one else exists. The first problem How can I be certain of gravity? How can I be certain the cup of water exists? How can I be certain I am not in a simulation? How can I be certain I am not in some sort of Truman show (google it)? How can I be certain I can sleep? How can I be certain I live in a world where logic works and exists? How can I be certain I am in world where Nothingness exists? How can I be certain than ANYTHING exists? How can I be certain that I can doubt stuff? Now I am almost in constant anticipation of anything that might happen. I feel like I might lose it. Don't know what to do. The second problem I have started to deconstruct the notion of "other people". All that exists is my subjective experience. I intellectually know that even I "don't really exist". All that exists is "my subjective" experience. Nothing else. This problem by itself isn't a problem. It feeds into the first problem. Being doubtful of almost everything, and having a hard time treating others as "others" makes it very difficult to actually reach out and talk with people or do anything with them. Even asking for help about this issue seems pointless in a sense. .............................................................. The first problem I would relate with skepticism and the second problem I would relate with solipsism. Both are philosophical terms. Google them if you're not sure what they mean exactly. .............................................................. I honestly feel like I might go nuts. I have an almost constant tingling sensation on my head (from stress/anxiety). I have a hard time going to sleep because of this. Sometimes I panic and don't know what to do. Plus I feel like I'm effectively stuck in a loop. Can't really get on with my life. What can I do? Please help if you can. P.S. I tried to keep this post concise. I could divulge and explain more if you didn't quite understand what my predicament is.

No i'm only slightly happy when i'm goal orientated because of fears of not learning enough information to later make a big enough impact at current, and then feel i'm getting towards my full potential ever so slightly. i can drop that and go back to being, not for extended periods of time. I.e ill look at reality directly and realise what an amazing thing it is, or just realise the nothingness in things and watch videos on animals. During this rest period i exhibit everythings good and what not, but ultimately the world is goal orientated, no matter what way you look at it and so are systems and therefore i feel if i'm not doing anything especially at my age (23) then i'm wasting my life.

I have a question. If the real me is "absolute infinity", "nothingness" or "empty consciousness", then why am i not aware of myself at all? Why does this hallucination called "life" should occur in the first place? For what really? Does this have a specific reason to it? If not, then..... for what? and why?

"The embodiment" already occurred. You are the absolute; right here, right now. It is merely a matter of how aware you are of this fact. How awake to yourself. How conscious of your infinitude. How deeply you know your essence, your true nature. What is infinite is the expression and the exploration of Infinity. There is precisely nothing to embody. There is only eternal expansion. Movement within stillness. Noise within silence. Direct experience of nothingness.

@Wisebaxter Throw away all of these concepts from your inquiry: "focusing, awareness, nothingness, Adyashanti, meditation, technique, 'no thought', void, quietness, etc..." Consider that the inquiry is like a radio interview, or a TV show. Who is watching?