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After watching today's video, I'm worried that I'm intellectualizing the idea of awareness, emptiness, true self, etc and that I'm going to do it wrong for a decade before I realize. I'm concerned my mind is making false sensations or images of the emptiness, and I can't seem to get past the tricks of my mind. When I try to sense the emptiness inside my head, I go inside and try to see what the "perceiver" is that links at the deepest level to my senses like sight, hearing, and smell, and the general idea of being "concious". It gives me a weird feeling like there's a vacuum or negative pressure inside my head that's sucking my head and ear canals in on itself. That's a sensation so I know that definitely can't be it. When I try to sense the emptiness outside of myself, it's still just a single point of "nothingness" I'm imagining in space in front of me, as opposed so something that permeates everything. Even if I think I'm feeling pure awareness or stillness, it still seems like there's a physical sensation associated with that. How do I know for sure that I'm finding true emptiness / awareness / true self, instead of it just being my mind tricking me? Am I supposed to be able to find it? Or is this some neti neti thing where I'm supposed to struggle to find it for hundreds of hours, and then it will just suddenly click?

Okay, the Truth is what is. Synonymously, the Truth is the present moment, whatever the content is. So what? What is so special about this? What is so spiritual about it? And how does it match with God, Nothingness etc..? I'm a pretty decent human being, and I care about the Truth. I understand that 'subject-object' duality is just an assumption and it must collapse, I don't suffer anymore (90% of the time), I enjoy life more, I go out in nature A LOT! I care a little about the dream character, and I don't really have much desires. I enjoy being alone. I still have some addictions, but they're working their selves out, and I believe they're going to end soon. Insight: addiction is just a way (better put: natural mechanism) of maintaining survival. I could get angry or sad rarely and it ends so fast. I'm comfortable with ego backlashes as I notice them happening every now and then. I don't view the so-called 'bad emotions' as bad anymore. Rather, I find them necessary. I'm an introvert, and I'm comfortable with that. And I could indulge myself into low consciousness talks if I felt like it, which is a cool new feature I discovered recently, I became a pretty laid-back guy recently. I mean, yes, the magic of life, I glimpse it. The sight and hearing and all that, how's it possible?! Amazing! Wonderful! I still have some doubts about death and the afterlife. Zero mystical experiences so far, and psychedelics are not on my radar. I feel like there's a lot more for me to learn, and I don't feel fully satisfied with my metaphysics yet. But I know I'm on the right path. You and other enlightenment people talk about 'nothingness, void, emptiness, etc..' which is something I can't relate to yet. What is your advice ? What should I do? Is it only time that I need? I believe you guys can read between the lines and know exactly what I need to hear. Because you always did! Love you all ? And thanks in advance.

On the topic of drugs: It is a common assumption for people that the default state of the mind is the most correct state, but is that really true? The brain at default is no different than drugs. Its all chemicals that is being used to interpret information. By this all interpretations are equally valid if you don't ride on an appeal to popularity game. All drugs give you some bigger picture of reality itself. Some people get too caught up in one aspect and forget the previous. But if you build a bigger more holistic view, you can rise up above both. Remember that science is a model of the the reality we experience. Science measures patterns but there is no guarantee reality is following the patterns we measure or that it will continue to be consistent. So using science as the holy grail of describing reality will fall short and lock you into ideology. No model can fully encompass something infinite in its fundamental form. When you talk of the universe you are creating a separation here - how much of the universe there is we do not know. Consciousness expresses itself in every way possible which results in infinity. This is simply one story inside the infinite story. But hearing this from me and believing it is all bullshit. The whole point of meditation and self inquiry in this work is for you to directly experience it. To rise above the ideological confines of being 'human' and to realize you are everything. Psychedelics help people realize this faster which would take much longer without it. LSD showed me separation is an illusory concept. Salvia showed me how illusory perception is. DXM gave me a higher understanding of nothingness. These are all experiences that go alongside the sober experience. You are always tripping. Thats the whole point of a hallucination. Everything I am saying though is just words, concepts, and imagination that do not compare to the indescribable experiences. Believing in just words and concepts is how you get modern religion. So use your skepticism to delve deeper to question deeper. We can only offer intellectual understandings to point you where to look, but you must still look beyond the concepts.

I'm more concerned with this universe in particular and the inside of it. The outside is straight up impossible to know anything about. Imagining non-existence is most likely impossible for the following reasons: Imagining images in your mind is a survival mechanism. It allows for you to see future threats and such. It was not intended on allowing humans and other biological organisms to grasp concepts like infinity or nothingness. No one knows all of the details about how it works but that is the holy grail.

If you havent had any mystical experiences and psychedelics are not on your radar, I would suggest deepening your meditation and broadening your skills. That will definitely produce mystical experiences. It sounds like you have already made some great progress but maybe have stalled. Wisdom Wide and Deep is a book that is basically the ancient Buddhist Vissuddhimagga for the Western mind that is complete with the most advanced meditation techniques. Deepen your Jhana (concentration meditation) absorbtions and you will enter new realms. After mastering the Jhanas, it sets the foundation for extremely profound and transformative Vipassana insights. The insights will show you nothingness, emptiness, impermanence, etc. Spend the next decade mastering that book and it will lead to enlightenment. I like studying Buddhism for the techniques and Advaita Vedanta for evolution of the Atman and heart. Without the development of the heart, spiritual development seems dry with something important missing. To me, the evolution of the heart results in bringing love and beauty to others and being an instrument that the universe/Brahman/God can use for their evolution. Untangle your attachments Accept your aversions Surrender Once you have purified yourself to a certain point and surrendered, you will find the universe/God moving through you.

@SOUL ok, I can dig that. You're saying that in a non-dual sense awareness is just another piece of the puzzle? It's no different from a thought or anything else. Rupert Spira says thought is a modulation of awareness so I can see how this makes sense. Then the true Self....this is different from awareness right? The heart on the right as Ramana Maharshi called it. @Anton Rogachevski It's easy to objectify awareness in this game isn't it? Can I ask you, is awareness the same as the true self? Or just another aspect of duality? Some people imply that everything is made up of awareness and others imply that there's something beyond that, some kind of primal nothingness. I'm gonna be tripping for the first time in a few days so I might have some answers then, but fancied a bit more jibber jabber in the meantime

Why do you see depth and wisdom of saying reality is nothingness?

of course. yes. those are indeeed thoughts. and that question you asked is also a thought. i really liked how @Serotoninluv put it above also, saw this comment below on youtube under Leo's video. It's a nice sum up. You - as the true nature of 'you'/self - are the 'awareness' behind all thoughts. You are the awareness that hear the birds sing and see the green leaves of a tree. This 'awareness', that you truly are, is not an object, not a thought, not a thing, not a concept, not an emotion, not a feeling, not an experience, not a form of energy, not a program... it is absolutely nothing. You can call it nothingness, you can call it whatever you want. It is zero, 0, nothing, however, at the same time, you, as this awareness, is actually the only "thing" that truly exist; it's eternal, universal, you are in other words the fabric and structure of existence it self, or to put it in yet another words: you are the whole Universe. Everytime you have a thought, you have the option to just be completely aware of the thought and do NOTHING about it; you're only noticing it. The other option (the opposite option) is to align your self with the thought, that is to not become aware of it, but instead to dive into it and let it affect you and give meaning to you (in other words: more thinking). The act of thinking "oh I must stop thinking this" is not being completely aware of the thought, but rather the oppsite: diving into the thought and giving it meaning. To be completely aware of thoughts takes practice. Most people, including me to a large degree, are very, very unaware and so, so caught up in the game of playing the person they think they are. Meditating is about being completely aware of thoughts and doing nothing about them, but instead just being completely aware of them. At some point you get so good at being aware of the thoughts and not diving into them, that the mind stops 'creating' thoughts (because it's tired of you not caring about them), and you will eventually instead align with the true nature of yourself, that is: nothingness, and you will at that point experience complete ego death, which will knock your socks off, as Leo says.

@Rilles infinitely far. Infinitely up, infinitely down. What do you think quarks are made of? Are they impenetrable building blocks of all matter? That's as far as they go? How does it not make any sense to not zoom further? And up into the cosmos? A literal infinite universe. If what scientists say is true, and there was a big bang and it's been expanding for 14 billion years, then that's not infinite, is it? It's still trapped in the illusion of spacetime. What happens if you go beyond the "bubble" that scientists seem to believe in? Infinite nothingness? Or a quark in another universe?

@winterknight By that ('one') you are referring to the false I, correct? But isn't the idea that the Self is our real nature? Doesn't that paradoxically conclude that we are in fact the doer and the actor? Admittedly, it is not difficult to see how all thoughts and intentions sprout out of nothingness spontaneously - since a thought does not need to be preceded by another thought to occur, they simply appear out of nowhere. So when you say that one should have this recognition, is there a practical method to demonstrate this quickly?

@sarapr do not believe anything Leo says (he's lying) ? find out for yourself, *believing* that "reality is nothingness" would be to fall into a trap. The easiest way to overcome this is to realise that you shouldn't believe anything, and "belief" isint what's being talked about. All of the cool places you can get to through meditation are really good to talk about, but never seek to enter these places...just meditate (and do self enquiry). There is no teaching, there is no teacher and there is no pupil. You are only here to find out who you are. Anything more than this, will work you *away* from enlightenment. (That statement is larger than you thing, or should I say...simpler...than you think ) This isint like college, you don't benefit from putting knowledge in your head. Enlightenment is not something, it the realisation that this "something" was somehow a fabrication from the start. It must be in your direct experience (this should not be hard, just observe "do I exist?") And do self enquiry. Your only trying to find out who you are. Infact, in a way...the more uninformed you are, the better. Do not treat this like another one of your hobbies...this is the realisation that all of your hobbies never existed. The reason leo can say such bold things like this is because he has simplified it so much more than other people. People always want more more more. But *purity* is less. If you were to purify gold 30 times with fire, it will be much smaller and lighter. Purify yourself of your ideas, including the idea the ideas are wrong. Who is the one who observes the belief that ideas are wrong? It is being observed after all, isint it (direct experience)? Bring to mind what you think you are and see for yourself..."this thing I think I am, is it being observed? If so, by whom?... especially if this thing is what I thought was me."

Nothingness is the Source of all sources. How do you know you exist? Which source did you ask?

Hey just writing an interesting trip report about my friend who has paranormal ability’s and took 5 meo dmt. I think many people on here would be interested. So last night me and my friend who claims to have claravoiant paranormal ability’s took a dose each of 5 meo dmt last night. This was his first time so I gave him 30mg and I’m really sensitive to it so I just took 10mg. Before we took the substance I told my friend to imagine that we are in a place where existence hasn’t happened yet and we are in nonexistance. As we were going deeper into the trip I was trying my best to guide him into the absolute nothingness as much as possible and we went deeeeep !!! Anyway during this experiance I went to hold his hand to guide Him through the death and in this moment he could not stop shaking his legs. He claims he was getting visions into the future of wars becuase the vibration on the planet is so low he said their will have to be lots of blood shed in order for a new higher consciousness world to form where everybody knows about spirituality. Then we looked into my eyes with my hand in his hand and he claims he could see thousandssss of my past life’s in one millisecond. He was looking into my eyes and he said that he can see my face changing into diffrent faces over and over and over and he could also see a thousand whole past life’s in one milliseconds. He was also talking about how we get to choose our own life before we come into this demensions but the deal is we don’t remember and when we reach higher levels of consciousness we can upgrade to new demensions etc but no demensions is better or worse than the other it’s just a new level. He was saying that he is seeing to much and that it’s to much for him to handle and it’s to much information at once. He also said that he saw his grandad at one point who is still alive today who showed him loads of things. And we both looked into the mirror after the peak and he said that his face turned into an old women, then an ancient tribal women, then a Indian man, then a Chinese person etc and I was looking in the mirror and I just saw my face as normal. After the our trip had wore off we decided to dive back in and take 10mg more each and we both went really really deep. He was in a meditation position on the floor in deep stillness with no claravoiance or past life stuff happening and I was lying on the floor in utter nothingness fully conscious of how reality exists becuase it dosnt exist etc and afterwards after the peak we played a game where we tryed to guess what we were both thinking so I went first And I was thinking of a perfect glowing white beach with a bright blue sky and he instantly said “blue sky” I was like wtf !!!! Then I tryed and I got it wrong and then I thought of a number and I was thinking of 6 and he said 7. That’s pretty close but it could of been a coincidence. And then I thought of a few colours and he guessed wrong on all of them so I think the first two may of just been lucky/close conisidences. Then we played another game where he tryed to go inside my mind and as he was trying his hardest to go insides my mind I did feel a power taking over (crazy shit) and then I tryed to go inside his mind as hard as I could and I got an entire sense of his entire psyche and life it was crazy) I’m not sure if that was just my intuition or if I actually did tune into his mind I’m not sure if that was legit or not we were just experimenting like paranormal mad scientists lol. Anyway after the whole trip we sat in front of the fire and we was telling me about how he is sure he has met his future self before. He told me a really convincing story on how he is sure he has met his self when he was in his 20s. I’m not going to go into the story coz that will take a while but iv been researching time travel tonight and seen loadssssss of people claiming that they have met their future or past selfs before and it dose seem genuine but that dose not mean it’s real it could be a scam for all I know. But my world view I developing on it as iv only just discovered this as a possible real thing. Now don’t worry guys I don’t just blindly believe in any of the things I just said above. Maybe it’s all true or maybe it’s just all delusion I have literally no idea !!! But I do think my friend was experiencing some kind of claravoiance, past life stuff it could be all wrong and I don’t really care if it’s true or not true I have personally never experienced any of this so I don’t know but from what happened last night I’m he was experiencing this stuff for real !!! Lol if anyone had told me something like 2 years ago I’d just dismiss it as crazy talk. I actually met someone 2 years ago who claimed she had experianced past life’s and I dismissed her as mentally unwell so I do understand all you skeptics reading this but I think this stuff is legit and can be directly experienced by some people in fact last time I smoked just nn-dmt with the intension of tapping into paranormal demensions i did get a really paranormal vibe and i saw a spirit entity in front of me and it could intuite it saying “I can show you more” and I was like “noooo I don’t want to see any more this is to much”!!! Aha I thought I wanted to see the paranormal realms but once I jumped in I wanted back out straight away I didn’t want to know that much. I thought I did but I really don’t aha !! It sounds good on paper !!!! I’m sure some people like that sort of thing. I’m not sure if the entirety was just in my head or not but it was an hallucination either way either it was on the outside or the inside. The outside and inside are one either way anyway aha. So yeah that was the trip. I personally thought it was a really interesting night. i wasn’t aware that 5 meo dmt could do that to people who are paranormally sensitive but looking back it seems kinda obvious. So yeah that’s what I have to share hope you’s found this trip report interesting and safe tripping everyone !!!

@sarapr You must be very new to nonduality. Logic is just one facet of intelligence. However, you can't grasp nothingness with your logical mind and you can't use symbols to encapsulate reality. Your logical mind is finite, reality is infinite. When asked about enlightenment and nothingness, Bodhidharma replied - there is nothing to say, there is nothing to teach. However, you must study and learn, but you also must practise diligently. Find a balance between the two. I said this metaphor to someone here yesterday, but it illustrates what we are discussing quite well, so here it is: What disappears the moment you say its name? Answer: - Silence You see the more you try to explain what silence is to someone, the further from the truth you will be. The more words, language and sounds you make to explain what silence is, the more you will puzzle that person. The only way to understand silence is to stop philosophising about it, become quiet - and there it is. In his videos, Leo is using his finger to point at the moon and you are paying so much attention to his finger that you are missing the moon.

It has very little to do with what I want, or what Leo does. I can’t speak for Leo, and never followed his videos. He can speak for himself. What I am telling you is that the spiritual path , enlightenment, and awakening. Are not about philosophising. I became “enlightened” 4 years agoish, and nothingness just becomes evident upon awakening. My reality. I could “see” it, “feel” it, and “touch” it... sort of lol.

What I present here are Leo's original 65 core principles (plus 2 of my own), compiled and organized into an extremely helpful list to help orient you through life. I call it "The Compass." For this is a man-made tool to help guide you through the turbulent oceans and wild mountains of everyday life. This compass POINTS to Truth, but is itself just a collection of symbols. I have found this guide to be extremely accurate and useful in my own life so far. If you haven't already, please watch The 65 Core Principles Of Living The Good Life as Leo goes into much more juicy detail on each principle. All credit for this post goes to @Leo Gura. The first 4 principles are the purposes of life. Orient your life to embody these: Raise your consciousness. Raise your capacity to love. Take in the beauty of life. To feel alive! To not have a single day where you're just going through the motions. The key to this is to bring consciousness into every task, even the most mundane. Practice present conscious awareness and acceptance. There is no suffering to be found here. (This is my own principle I added) Ego is the root of all human problems and suffering. Self-deception. Self-bias. All fear, all judgment, all evil, all anger, and all suffering are delusion and falsehood. Do not demonize anyone. No ideology or dogma of any kind. Be radically open-minded. Recognize that you enter this world not knowing anything. You must explore all facets of reality without any pre-judgments, for you truly do not know a thing unless you've experienced it. Being close-minded cuts you off from direct experience. Also recognize that many of the deepest truths are counter-intuitive and will appear silly or crazy on the surface. Question everything. Especially the most "obvious" things, as those are often the most misunderstood. Question the outside world as well as your inside one. Literally. Everything. Direct experience is King. In order to cut through the bullshit of society and your own mind, ground yourself in your present direct experience. Do not judge things which you have not personally experienced. If someone talks to you about something you've never explored, keep your mouth shut and your ears open. Self-experimentation is the only way to truly find what works. This requires radical open-mindedness. Prioritize big picture thinking over technical knowledge. Care about philosophical and metaphysical matters. Genuinely care about the Truth no matter the cost. Love Truth for Truth's sake. The Vow; my blood. Genuinely intend to understand every point of view. Appreciate that the world is nothing but different perspectives. Integral thinking. Spiral dynamics stage yellow. From studying multiple perspectives, gain a meta-perspective at the intersections of all. What does that tell us about life? Every point of view is fundamentally partial; there is a sliver of Truth to be found in every perspective. Pull from hundreds of diverse sources. When you do this, the Truth gets triangulated and the big picture emerges. Lifelong learning and self-education. Cultivate a thirst for knowledge and wisdom. This process should never end. Do not be cheap with your self-education. Develop a system for taking notes and organizing the information, such as a commonplace book. Observation. The essence of learning is observation. It is through observation that insights come. Build your metaphysical connection to reality. This is what spirituality is. You are not an object that exists in the universe, you are existence itself; you ARE the universe. Do the opposite of what everyone else is doing (of course don't be dogmatic about it, be conscious of how you apply this). Reality is deeply counter-intuitive. Expect that reality will work the exact opposite of how you think it will, until you get experience with it. Absolute Truth exists, but it cannot be thought, imagined, communicated, spoken, written, proven, or argued. Nonduality is the ultimate Truth. Reality is perfect. Reality is infinite and God is a real thing. The word God points to infinity. You are God. Remove ego from this realization. You created yourself, you are everything. Only when you realize you are God will you take full responsibility for your life. Reality is not material. It is a giant mind. It is all imaginings within a mindscape, and mindscape is all that there ever is. All one. Life is a dream. And like a dream, it is possible to awaken from it. That is, to become lucid and stop taking it so seriously. 99.9+% of people are deluded and asleep, and they don't know about any of these deeper principles. Which means you can't look to others for guidance on this path. When it comes to your own well-being, you are essentially alone. This doesn't mean you can't find help in a specific avenue where someone has complete mastery of, like a doctor or therapist or counselor. However, very, very few people could ever provide you with proper guidance in big picture thinking, and the only true guidance is to look within yourself. It's all there. I understand that these principles serve as a compass to help orient me, not a Holy Book itself. Question everything, but do the work. All of these principles make sense to me now but wouldn't have just a couple years ago. This is only because of my direct experience. Society is still in the Dark Ages. We are still in adolescence as a species. Very pathological and dysfunctional. God is the devil. This is a distinction that collapses. When you understand, you'll stop seeing evil in the world, and that all the "bad" things do in fact have a higher purpose and intelligence behind them. All identity is relative and fluid. The goal is to dis-identify with your egoic constructions and to start aligning with one-ness and Truth. This is the trick to overcoming death. Or put another way, it is the trick to realizing you're already "dead," to overcome that fear. Out of this nothingness, you can truly start living. Everything is relative. A thing is only known in relation to something else. Prioritize context over facts. Recontextualization is an extremely helpful tool. Everything boils down to inner game. Your psychology. Everything you think is "external" is actually a reflection of you. Authenticity. In every facet of your life. Develop a life purpose. Figure out who you are and what you want out of life. Without this, you get the default--mediocrity. Be a strategic motherfucker. The 7 pillars of strategic thinking are: 1. Strategic Intent, 2. Strategic Analysis, 3. Strategic Preparation, 4. Concentration of Force, 5. Detailed Execution, 6. Adaptability, 7. Study of Principles. Watch Leo's video with the same title. Take 100% responsibility. Anything less is suffering. Be a leader. Be proactive. Be decisive. Take risks. Be a creator. Tap into the joy of creativity. Provide massive value to mankind. Become a master at something. This should directly be tied to your life purpose. Reason and rationality cannot be trusted. All the highest insights are trans-rational. Embrace confusion, paradox, and not knowing. Develop emotional mastery. It is emotion that dominates the reasoning process. Integrate the masculine and the feminine. Do not lie. (my own rule, but one worth saying. Of course, follow this consciously. This should be 99%+ true, not necessarily 100%. Be aware that in many cases you feel like you should lie, there's a way to structure the truth in a way that's more acceptable. You should never tell a bold-faced lie. By lying, you actually poison yourself and stray from authenticity.) Do not manipulate. Satisfy your base needs so that you stop craving. Using Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs to self actualize video. Master your basic survival and livelihood. Learn business. Learn how money works. Keep your life simple and spartan. Practice minimalism. When your life frees up, the ego mind will seek to fill it with various obligations, commitments, and distractions. Use that time instead for personal development. Be a systems thinker. Develop an awareness for the ecological interconnectedness of things. Leo's Intro to systems thinking video. Think ecologically. How are you impacting the world? Be conscious. Happiness is only possible with enlightenment. No material possessions will ever make you happy. This is more certain than the laws of physics. Learn to be happy all by yourself. If you can't be happy sitting on your couch doing nothing, then you can't truly be happy. "Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god." -Aristotle Development AND Awakening; not one or the other, not one above the other. Without practice, exercises, and techniques, there will be no results. Theory alone, while important, will not produce much results. Here are the most important and powerful practices for personal growth: psychedelics, meditation, meditative yoga, journaling, contemplation, self-inquiry, visualization, and solo retreats. Plan to meditate for one hour every day for the rest of your life. Do not turn Actualized.org into an ideology.

@SoonHei That's a good mantra, I'm gonna use that one. Maybe work it into my Neti Net practice or something. I'm presuming this is something I haven't experienced yet, not just the awareness that can easily become an 'I' thought. One thing that confuses me about spirituality is....is it just awareness that's the goal? We focus on awareness with no thoughts and then we say 'aha - that's enlightenment. If I can stay in that place without thoughts I'm enlightened!' Or are we something more than awareness? Because awareness is all I can find. Teachers like Rupert Spira will say 'it's very simple, just focus on awareness,' whilst others will tell you that it takes 40 years to ride the Ox and experience non dual nothingness. If I'm something more than awareness, how do I access that?

Heavily use of Mdma... I knew there is something more and that i can naturally feel that love , awarness. After this video i am doing Self inquiry all day long ... Couple days ago awakening happend only nothingness awareness was there no monkey mind no beliefs just wow. Now i am trying to go to that place until it’s permanent.

@Elysian Thats exactly right. But its even deeper than that. That's why i don't consider OCD - the doubt disorder - to be an illness. It's just as much an illness as it is a gift. If you truly have OCD you also have a direct sense into the gateless gate. For that is what OCD is. You sense the uncertainty of the nothingness. That's why i believe you can become enlightened much easier (without pyschedelics) as with what happened with me. All the pieces must be in place of course. Having OCD is just part of it. For me it was decades of running unconsciously from the nothingness and the OCD although paradoxically sensing i needed to run towards it...to look inward and be the emptiness. So those with OCD do not despair for you have the keys to the gateless gate. You just have to find it. On a less deep note the others all make valid points. In order to manage your OCD you have to be self aware and aware of when the obsessive thoughts come up..to let them pass and remember they are not you and are illusory. This is the essence of mediatation and self actualization anyway. Its just a shame most OCD sufferers don't even know what they have and even if they do they believe that their thoughts are them and real and the guilt of their thoughts will slice through their being. So meditation and self awareness are the keys to managing OCD.

Don't have ideas or expectations like "the individual experiencing their own energy as the energy of the entire universe." Such expectations are always misleading. If you are looking for "something more" -- which you seem to be -- then you should inquire into who is doing that looking. You are telling me that the I is "out of nothingness," but if that were so there wouldn't be a feeling of a desire for something more, or a question about what to pursue. Any hint of dissatisfaction or any sense that "I've got to figure out what to do next" suggests the presence of old thinking and emotional patterns that are pulling back into identification with the body-mind. Find the clarity and thought-free peace beyond dissatisfaction that you are, and return to it over and over till these patterns are extinguished.

Hey Winterknight.... So I have been holding the feeling of God is I, or I is God, as much as possible. It has given me a very peaceful perspective, that change in me has been noticeable. I have also kept up on Self-Inquiry. I feel I have developed a really good sense of my, or the, "unknowable source", and my relationship to it. There have been many great insights regarding Oneness, and the connectivity and the structure of all things. These haven't come as the result of any real effort to have them, they just seem to appear while doing the Self-Inquiry exercise. I genuinely feel as though the concept of Oneness and God is an absolute truth, but unfortunately this has not yet been verified by experience. I have always read about the experience of God Consciousness as the individual experiencing their own energy as the energy of the entire universe. Is my thinking to limited on this? Is there something I am missing, or something that I can do to trigger such an experience? Or is it really just a matter of waiting on grace now? As a note... I can't say that the "I" has a describable feeling for me now. It just is out of nothingness. If nothingness is God, the "I" is the eye of God. That's the only way I can describe my Inquiry of it (shout out to David R Hawkins). Is the concept of "is-ness" with regard to "I" maybe something that needs to be pursued? If so, how would one approach that?

Hoy! Little update about my practice: Still doing it after 6-7 months (around 45 minutes per day). A few interesting experiences but I did not progress as much as I was expected. Not so long ago during 1 or 2 weeks I felt like I was resting in beingness/nothingness/parvastha but only for a few seconds. One day, it felt like falling into a whole, I got scared and unwillingly stop the process. Now I do not feel I'm resting in parvastha state anymore. I even feel like I have regressed. Anyway, I still like Kriya yoga, at least, much more than other style of meditation I used to do. I will keep on doing it for a year and see where it brings me. I will soon start to do the preparation exercices before I do Kriya Pranayama as explained in Ennio Nimmis pdf, part III (btw if you don't feel like reading the whole thing ,Part III is the most interesting part). Have you tried these preparation exercices? Do you feel like you are able to rest in the Being/Paravastha state at the end of your routine?

Playing VR games have made me more accepting to the idea of everything being illusion. When you play an immersive VR game for 30-60 minutes and you remove your headset, you really notice that the only difference between the virtual and this world is that you believe this one to be the "real" world. But when you go back into that virtual world, then it becomes _the_ reality, and this reality where Im writing this post becomes a memory. Physics of this world become a memory, and im instantly living and accepting how things work in the virtual world. This "real" world feels real only after I remove the headset to come back from the virtual one. That gives me an idea. Maybe I can trick my brain to "removing the headset" and entering a state of nothingness

@Preetom @winterknight Has similar way of self inquiry that led me to lets say self relasation... with Meditation you cant realy go that deep. Yes I am ~ is pure awareness without objective qualities its beautiful nothingness

Leo Gura. Just because he's so involved in his work, studying, and teaching people about so many facets of personal development, I think he would have so much to offer besides just meditating and talking about enlightenment. He's a lot closer to my age, he's sharp, and still on the upward spiral. Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like some old enlightened masters would recognize that the only true thing to talk about is "present moment" "focus" "practice" "what is there to know?" "There is no I" and then give you a bunch of fucking Koans to meditate on. In adopting the groundless nothingness, you probably lose a lot of friendliness and relatability. If I'm going to spend the day with an enlightened person, I'd want him/her to be more relatable, still working through some things, be "real," and working on their life purpose. That's just my two cents