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  1. @FoxFoxFox I once asked Ralston about yogis and kundalini. He laughed and said that yogis are not really enlightened. Whatever that means. The bliss you can definitely experience on psychedelics. Very strong doses of 5-MeO-DMT also activate kundalini although I'm not sure if it's being activated safely. On my highest dose ever of 5-MeO-DMT, the consciousness was so powerful that it was too much to handle and I felt kundalini shoot out of my fingertips like force lightening, resulting in skin damage to my fingertips. It was a very freaky experience bordering on the paranormal. I don't think it was healthy. But damn was it powerful. I have never had kundalini activation on 5-MeO-DMT except that one time. That was a very large dose which I would not want to take again. To be any more conscious you'd be so conscious you'd physically pass out.
  2. @Leo Gura Ah it's great to hear that then. Always glad to know people are not being mislead by pseudo-gurus. I personally don't study neo-advaitans much because there's just so much potential for disaster. I also believe it's possible to self-realize without Kundalini, but i don't think it would be possible to realize the bliss aspect of God without it. It's a shame that Ralston (like Adyashanti!) won't dive deeper into the shakti. Honestly i don't see how one could move from God-consciousness to unity consciousness without it. The important thing is to stress losing the identification mechanism. That is more than enough reason to bow down in recognition.
  3. @Aakash Witness the mind, the emotions, and the body. Really become conscious of the fact that they are phenomena that you become aware of, rather than owning them. That is to say, step out of "I-am". Normally you say, I am a body, or I am angry, or I have a thought. Stop that paradigm. Instead of being the owner, become the witness. The next step is to become aware of "I-I", and you do this by turning awareness on the fact that you are owning awareness. You believe that you are a someone that is the owner of awareness, no matter how subtle this someone might be. You believe that you are a body-less being that is becoming aware of stuff. Well this notion must also go, and you that by silencing the mind and gradually merging into awareness - that is becoming one with it rather than objectifying and owning it. The "I-I" will then become even more subtle. It will just become "I". That is, the subtlest feeling of being that is totally pulled back from objects. For this to break apart, awareness and mindfulness is not enough. You need intensity. You need to build up internal energy and become 'charged' so to speak. You will need longing, and desire, and devotion. Your whole world should become giving up this "I-ness". You should lament your inability and experience anguish. At the same time, you must stop the mind from theorizing its way into your core. No matter what the mind comes up with, know that the answers are not verbal. I personally recommend you practice Kriya and Kundalini yoga at this point. Eventually, something will take hold of you. Energy will begin raising within you and you have to surrender to it. You have to let it take a hold of you and possess you. You will have to let go. The more intense you feel this energy, the easier surrender becomes because the force will be too overwhelming for you to resist. At this point you will probably shake and be in tears and might even lose consciousness and slip into nirvikalpa samadhi. Once the perceptions return and the mind begins recreating the world, there will be no longer any identification. Only void, and then bliss.
  4. Outside of Winterknight I don't see this being talked about enough, and even he doesn't say it directly. This is the crux of self-realization. Nothing else matters. In this forum people are mostly interested in the relative content of the mind. Everyone is asking questions about morality, God, emotions, fear etc. Well sorry but none of these have anything to do with enlightenment. Also, you can't judge a person's enlightenment by what he believes in, because that stuff (again) has nothing to do with enlightenment. This is a misunderstanding that the mind of the enlightened person cannot hold beliefs etc. The only thing that does matter is identification. That is identification with the mind, the ego, the body, awareness etc. The typical person identifies with objects: I am this or that. The non-dual person identifies with: I am. Self-inquiry practitioners identify with: I-I. The self-realized person does not identify with any form of I, no matter how subtle, whatsoever. If this is the compass of your path, you will make it. If not you won't. What ends up happening is that through intensity of longing, surrender, witnessing and devotion your identification mechanisms will break down. You will never, ever go back to the illusions. What is the initial experience after enlightenment? Void would be saying too much. So ask yourself, is the only thing that there is void? If not, then you are deluded.
  5. It depends on what you call samadhi. Different people use different definitions, where they make distinctions between stages of samadhi or call those stages some other name and give the label samadhi to the highest experience. If you have had only single samadhi experience then it's hard to pinpoint where it exactly belongs. The whole thing is further complicated by the fact that these experiences come in many flavors. The one samadhi that had happened to me came in a "no-self flavor". That means I forgot my name, who I am or what I think I am and everything became one, then bliss filled the whole space. The concepts of me and mine became very alien, they were perceived like a costume that I could choose to wear or not. I believe it was a lesser samadhi, so others may give you a deeper, more accurate answer of how it feels.
  6. The time has come to post my second report. After a year or so of kriya yoga i can honestly say that this technique has helped me a lot. I have done a practise everyday for at least 50 minutes. The biggest gains in my experience: - hearing sounds: the last sessions i am starting to hear sounds from far away. When i close my ears i still hear them; - seeing lights: there is a white light sometimes. Cant say it is on the inside or outside, very strang but not scary; - a lot of energy in my spine the last few months, it is crazy; - a lot of pressure on my forehead. At the beginning of my practise it was light but it is getting crazier now; - the ability to shut off my thoughts for hours if I want to; - the ability to just sit and feel a deep joy. Dont know how to call this. Maybe bliss is the best word; - during the day a lot of random insights, which are not caused by thinking. Sometimes i just start laughing out of the blue. In my class they sometimes think i am crazy. Everybody is on there phone the entire time when there is nothing to do, but not me. I just look to the wall and sometimes just start laughing when it is silent; - the day is a very effortless flow; - i am starting to work slower. Another report in 6 months.
  7. It's impossible to conceptualize about post-awakening state. It's safe to say that you're life as body-mind would be over; only other people will see your body moving and doing shit. One probably wouldn't take on this intense journey unless they are utterly dis-satisfied with their so called present life anyway. So there is really no lose. Just the satisfaction of being relieved of a hideous cancer called ''me and my life''. So the teaching says get enlightened first. Then the notion of how to live afterwards can be addressed if its needed (which it won't) Yes follow that only aware element in your experience. That is what you really call 'I', the perceiver. But notice that you also see everything you are not along the way. So you have to make sure that you are not focusing on some subtle phenomena as 'I'. The deeper you go, your mind will be absolutely silent and it will feel pure bliss. Not a bodily bliss but something that can't be located. Everything else will feel very relaxed. Witnessing is something you are already doing in self-inquiry where you are noticing that you are not the phenomena that are popping up. But don't witness as a separate subject located in the head in the back. That is actually identifying the 'I' with some subtle sensations and it won't help you much to wake up.
  8. @Preetom Well the thing is staying with the 'I' is not gonna make it vanish. It actually reinforces it because you are feeding it energy by validating its existence. You have to question it and keep showing yourself that you can't find it anywhere. The void, along with bliss are facets of the Self. They are its inherent qualities we could say. But most people will only get the void first. It's the recognition that nothing has an qualities of by itself. For example, look at a flower. Realize that all attributes of this flower are given to it by the mind. For example you could say it's a beautiful, red flower. But neither of those descriptions are actually properties of the flower, right? They are projections. If you continue exploring in that direction you realize that the world suddenly vanishes. Everything literally becomes one, because no distinctions are being projected. Moreover, the fact that you can even project things shows you that all these properties are actually properties of you. For example, beauty is not really a property of the flower, it's really YOUR beauty that gets projected. It's a recognition. It also continues to evolve and get deeper and deeper. That is why i sometimes talk about stages of enlightenment because the experience gets richer and richer. Don't get caught up in mind games. it really doesn't matter how you phrase sentences, or even if you use the first person nominative. These are all relative stuff. Try and recognize the void.
  9. @David Hammond Big NO. Bliss is not a feeling. It is not an emotion. It is not anything that the ego could ever experience, because the ego is all about blocking out bliss. There is a reason they say: Sat, Cit, Ananda. That last word means bliss. It is an inherent quality of the Self like how wetness is a quality of water. The body doesn't feel bliss, the body feels like it's riding the wind or things like that. Bliss is recognition. It is energy experienced in a way that you have never experienced it before. It totally overwhelms your senses, but that is only the spanda aspect of the ananda.
  10. @mandyjw Because there are higher stages of enlightenment. It has nothing to do with arrogance my friend. It's just based on one's direct experience. If you move from ignorance to self-realization, we call that the stage. If you then move into bliss, that's yet another. Then God consciousness and Unity consciousness. It's a direct evolution of understanding. It has nothing to do with arrogance or humility. Those are just in the mind. They are important only before self-realization. Afterwards, direct, self-recognized consciousness and it's qualities is what matters.
  11. "You must train yourself to stop seeing the universe from the human perspective — as if the universe only revolves around humans. " "In fact, you must be able to see an infinite number of moves ahead to make sure that any design change actually makes the SUM TOTAL of the universe better rather than worse" "For any person claiming to be awake or enlightened, the question must always be: what are you conscious of? Describe what you're conscious of in full detail. Don't be coy, don't play games, don't be humble." "Remember, it is the nature of every awakening that it feels total, final, and complete. Don't be fooled by this" " You see the epistemic problem here? How do you know how deep the Buddha (or any other master) went? How do you know which aspects he awoke to and which ones he overlooked? You don't! That's the point. You assume you understand what the Buddha (or some enlightened master) was talking about, but the fact is you don't know that what you think they were talking about is actually what they were talking about. Whatever awakening you've had is not necessarily what they were talking about. They might have been pointing to something yet deeper of which you are still unaware. For those of you who consider yourselves awake, how do you know there's not something yet deeper, or some aspect you overlooked? You don't! So be very careful assuming you've reached the end because you probably haven't. Your mind will play tricks on you in this process. If you haven't had 5, 10, or 20 awakenings, you're nowhere near done yet." "· People just assume that God automatically knows himself, but it's not so simple. People don't think this through. Think about it this way, if there was a God, how would he come to know himself? By what process? You'd figure at some point in his history he would have to say, "What am I? Oh, right, I'm God! Duh!" Supposedly this moment of self-recognition would have to happen to God at least once in his existence for him to know he's God. Otherwise he would be God but not know it! Well… the moment you become enlightened will be that very moment. Ta-da!" "Liberation comes from the realization that the universe is unlimited. Nothing is impossible. Nothing is denied to us. We can have it ALL! You just need to realize that you are the universe and why the universe must be unlimited. When you put those two realizations together you get heaven and pure bliss. There is nothing more you could want beyond the unlimited." "Every piece — no matter how trivial it seems to you from your level — is important. To us humans certain things seem trivial, like dust particles and stray hairs, because they are trivial for our purposes of survival." "An awakening/enlightenment experience is not the same thing as liberation. Liberation is much, much harder. Liberation means to be so radically transformed by the Truth that you live as God all the time... · Liberation is not for everyone and it is not to be taken lightly. Only the most hardcore spiritual seekers should pursue liberation. Liberation is not a mainstream idea nor should it be advocated to every random fool on Youtube. Only those of the highest wisdom will choose liberation." "God doesn't get bored. It is endlessly fascinated by itself. It is unafraid to look at it self. Really look at itself." ". All of my philosophical seeking since the age of 15 has finally come to a close, resolving in the most delicious climax imaginable. The whole time I was searching for truth and understanding of existence, and in the end I found that I am the answer. I am God and I created it all out of nothing. The end. How many Western philosophers have come this far? Virtually none" Just some new things i learnt, none the less @Leo Gura sounds like an eventful 30 days. I'm glad to read some of the thoughts that went through your mind, and got to know you a little bit better and might i even say more authentically than before. i've always thought it feels more organic to read someones direct thoughts then have them broadcast it to you in a video, or write them perfectly out in a book. just a tip i learnt over the many years of writing out my in time thoughts and reading them over.
  12. Don't forget that there are other ways to alter you state of consciousness and lessen resistance so you can achieve deeper enlightenment states. I've had amazing success with running. I've brought on states of complete bliss and amazing insights that I've been able to take back with me. I knew from before doing consciousness work how amazing the meditative body aware state of running was, especially combined with a huge dopamine hit, "runner's high." Adding in the lessons and intentions of consciousness work with that was an amazing breakthrough. Sometimes I worry I won't be able to find my way back home because I'll have forgotten myself entirely. Just by putting yourself in different state of consciousness with the purpose and intention of awareness can be really powerful. Everybody has their thing. go find yours.
  13. I found that to be a very interesting interaction between personality dynamics. During the first part of the conversation, I think Abraham-Hicks did a good job at trying to acknowledge the man's perceptive and to try and show she understands it. It looked like she connected for a bit. She touched upon free will and "vibrational energies" which pointed to trans-personal and trans-human levels. I also thought she did a good job at diagnosing what is occurring in his personality dynamic. Yet, I think she made a mistake in allowing the discussion to stay in the relative personal level and play by personal level rules. He was clearly immersed within a personality dynamic and through most of the conversation she played on that level. I think she should have stayed firm in the trans-personal realm and only dip into the personal realm to pull him up. My hunch is she has not fully transcended the personal level. She spoke as if she believed there is a person with free will making choices. Several times she said things to the effect of "just change the meaning of something". Instead of pain and suffering, let's just call it "variety" and we are good to go. She also said something like "ignorance is bliss if giving it a negative meaning causes discomfort". To me, trying to play the "good" vs "evil" game on the relative personal level comes across as bizarre and distorted. Once you allow the assumption that there is a real person with free will that makes choices, it's game over on the relative personal playing field. That means murderers and rapists have free will and are choosing to do what they do freely. And the rest of us can just choose to call things like torture and rape as simply experiences of "variety" rather than pain and misery. In doing so, won't get upset about it anymore and can be happy. . . To me, this is really lame. A few times she touched upon the trans-personal level yet kept diving back down to the personal. To me, I think it would have been much better to stay firmly grounded on the trans-personal level and address the illusory construct of the persona, lack of free will, the relativity of personal views (from a trans-personal meta view) and the absolute. I'm not sure why Abraham-Hicks didn't do that. I understand he was immersed in the personality, yet the only way to get through his dilemma, imo, is to get up to the trans-personal level.
  14. Living unconsciously means that you'll fall into suffering. It can be tempting to CHOOSE to suffer as part of a spiritual quest because when you choose to suffer you have the power over your suffering, and also the goal of some future state of bliss that may be obtained by your noble choice to suffer. That's another trap. It's the trap that religion has sold for hundreds of years. Religion says, look at all these people going about their lives living unconsciously and seeking silly pleasures, they are miserable. You must CHOOSE to suffer and have FAITH in this future goal you'll get if you can purify yourself through suffering. You can choose to be free of suffering now. You can be at peace now. You absolutely do not have to suffer. The entire point of this work is deciding, ok I'm done suffering. I wanted to suffer in the past but I no longer want or need to suffer. I accept what it, I accept life, I accept this present moment as it is without needing it to be something more. I'm here to meet it with love and peace and acceptance and therefore I no longer suffer.
  15. @Wisebaxter Interesting thing about emotions, is that all of them are one emotion, Love. Only Love, and all the other emotions are derived from It. Try to feel it in your direct experience, it's really one emotion, colored and shaped by your ideas. In this case, hatred is love for some 'thing' or some 'one' , and not Everything "God". Or, in other words, hatred is a limited kind of love. Why does hatred feel different than love? Because it's limited to the self, while love at the very least, extends to the other(s). Growth is independent of suffering, you will also grow from bliss, only in different ways
  16. Overview This has been my most powerful and profound trip to date. Including the closest I have got to any type of awakening experience. Yesterday morning I did 5g of magic mushrooms at around about 10am and locked myself in by basement bathroom in complete silence and darkness until 4pm. I had hundreds of profound insights about the nature of mind, reality, vibrations, energy and creation...including my first glimpse of the magnitude of infinity. Preparation In the days preceding my mushroom trip, I consulted these tarot cards that I have about whether or not doing this trip was a good idea. I gave myself a reading with the tarot cards and I really like this method for judging whether or not tripping at a particular time is a good idea or not. It's like how Terrence McKenna says in this video: Where he consults the oracle. (skip to 15:50) But anyways I got very good signs from my reading that I did on myself and one of my girl-friends who is a reader also agreed that the trip was a good idea so I decided to do it. I chewed 5g of the mushrooms on an empty stomach and preemptively took a ginger pill to handle any nauseousness. Then I filled up my bathroom in my basement with cushions and blankets and covered the windows so it was as dark as possible. The Trip Begins I sat down cross legged in the dark and meditated as I waited for the shrooms to come on. I set my intention to receive insight about the nature of reality and conciousness. After about 30-40 minutes I began to feel the familiar shroomy feeling of wavy energy enter my body and I allowed my body to sway with the energy as I tried to stay anchored on my breathing. My breathing began to feel more full as this energy pulsed through my body and it felt amazing. For about an hour I was enjoying the climb up towards the peak which was filled with the energy beginning to work its way into my mind and creating long and profound thought chains about the ego, survival, and creation. At one point I called my friend for a couple minutes just to tell him how awesome I'm feeling. I'm a Millionaire Recently I've been reading a lot about affirmations and the law of attraction. As the energy was pulsing through my body and becoming stronger I got visions of how reality creates itself through vibrations at every second and I felt the urge to affirm "I'm a millionaire." over and over and over again. At this point I also started recording myself (in pitch black but I captured the audio of me talking). As I continued affirming "I'm a millionaire" I got super happy as if I had just won the lottery. I realised the power of affirmations and for a good 20 minutes I was in ecstasy at the idea that I am actually a millionaire. I fully believed in the affirmation and I was able to See the vibrations beginning to manifest millions of dollars in my bank account. This is when I got many profound insights about the process of creation and how reality creates through no mechanism but through direct consciousness and that if I can focus my attention on those positive vibrations of "I'm a millionaire" then I will spontaneously create a million dollars. Ecstasy Again, I have this whole section of the trip recorded and I would describe this part as nearing the peak of the trip. I began writhing and rolling around on the floor as the energy invaded my body and brain and it felt fucking amazing. I am just yelling "Holy fuck, oh my God, Holy fucking shit this is amazing, what the fuck is happening to me, holy fuck the vibrations are just creating every second." for like 20 minutes straight as I'm swimming through the cushions and blankets in a complete full-body orgasm. At this point I feel like my whole body is being healed and reborn which was actually predicted in my card reading that I gave myself earlier. At this point I'm laughing and crying and rambling and having the most profound experience of my life... I also had the insight "Being is vibration." but idk how accurate that is but it made sense at the time. "I'm not seeing anything but I'm being everything." Side note: I watched the whole video back and even though its pitch black at certain points you can clearly see white "snowflakes" floating around the screen as if the camera was picking up the enormously high amounts of energy that was invading my being. (coincidentally the power also went out in my town around this time but I didn't notice until later) A Glimpse of Infinity After I turned off the recording I was continuing my orgasmic bliss exclamations of "Holy fuck Holy fuck" and my thoughts spontaneously began to move into even more profound territory. These weren't regular thoughts because they were very vivid and I could feel them more fully than normal so I would feel safe saying that this was closer to direct consciousness than just regular thoughts. There was one particular thought chain that I do not fully remember that basically lead to the realisation that I am nothing more than energy and that I am made of the same energy that everything else is made out of...At this point I felt my sense of ego begin to weaken more and more and I was beginning to contemplate the idea of dying and how it wouldn't be a problem at all because I'm just vibrations...At this point I became aware that I was very close to total ego death but I was not able to go fully over the edge...probably because I haven't done enough spiritual practice or I needed more substance.... Then there was another thought chain that showed me the magnitude of how infinite reality is...I feel like this particular thought chain was very "grand" and it was very charged with energy and I was having direct consciousness of every cell in every life form on Earth and how each cell is its own organism that wants to survive and reproduce and I realised "Its infinite! Its infinite! Its infinite!" and I was completely blown away and at the same time I was on all fours with my head down and I felt the energy spontaneously leave out through my feet with several violent trembles. And then everything was still and silent. Aftermath There was a huge contrast between the loud and energetic thought-chains and the silence that followed. My whole body was buzzing and trembling and I just lay down in awe for like 5 minutes and my mind was very quiet and still. Then I sat up and began to look around and this is where the feeling began that I was not in control of my movements at all and I was just the observer. I looked around the bathroom (my eyes had adjusted to the darkness) and I was tripping out like "What the fuck just happened? Am I enlightened? What the hell..." I was on the brink of tears and I was so gracious to have had the opportunity to glimpse even a little hair on the tail of the ox. (Which is what I think it was) I felt a very weak sense of ego still residing so I knew that I wasn't enlightened but I was definitely closer to ego-lessness than I have ever been. After about 20 minutes the sense of self began re-forming again but I still maintained that sense of being the observer and not having control over my actions. I just sat in awe and silence for another 30 minutes and then my Dad came home and I turned on the lights to realise how distorted and shroomy my vision was...I took sooooo much shrooms. So I just buzzed out in the bathroom for another 20 minutes and then I tried to go up to my room to rest in my bed because I was exhausted... I couldn't sleep and I definitely couldn't get comfortable but I just tried to relax and allow myself to come down from the high. Around 6pm I was feeling a bit better and I was interacting with my family in a semi-normal way and we ate dinner together and stuff and everything turned out well. That night I had a piercing headache that prevented me from sleeping restfully. I'm feeling an ego backlash coming on but I'm just chilling out and not working too much so that I can recover fully. Takeaways - I have a lot more consciousness work to do but idk if I'm ready yet at this point in my life...I need to handle my survival first. - 5g in silent darkness is definitely an amazing way to do mushrooms - Thoughts manifest into reality - I'm a millionaire - reality creates itself every second without a mechanism - reality appears to be infinite - shrooms are a powerful tool for consciousness growth - consult the cards Thanks for reading!
  17. I don't care, i dont see any point in us being put into dream and us not being able to wake up from it. i don't see any good or reasonable meaning in that. ok put us into dream for beginning, but to make it so difficult to wakeup from that = thats pointless, it can only be understood in that = its tyranny of the devil or god of the dream world. what you call God is not God because one true God transcends this reality/being. you call devil as god. and you want to merge with devil through enlightenment but you think that you want to merge with god. infinite being is devil or god of this world 'absolutely everything' or nothignness at all is not God but creation true God transcends (HE is not in the boundless infinite oneness totality) I am sayign that true God created absolutely everything which can exist and which is not him. and this absolutely everythingness is infinite reality that we are in. and infinity has knowledge that there is nothing which can be outside of it. so whatever you can become you will still be bound by infinity which tells that there is nothing outside of it. which tells u that it is boundless. can you imagine that GOD is NOT anyone from absolutely everything that can be? this is impossible. and yet thats how things are. perhaps the more you go against this reality (devil) the more you are aligned with True God's will if you read Quran or Gospels you can notice that it is so anti-life anti-being anti-reality anti-this world anti-human beings. you can say that it is revelations of unstoppable criticism of absolutely everything and they are extremely negative about everything at all. i dont see any point in us being put into dream, and us not being able to wake up, or making awaking so hard to attain. why would that be the case? why would God will to make awakening so difficult? nope its not that he willed that, its that he created reality which is opposite of him. and here he put us to experience that tyranny of dream prison. and all our life is about being oppressed by the tyrant's will - who is opposite of true God. yet this is to say that you can't come to God through wanting to come to God because God is not anyone from absolutely everything. so you can only come to him by fighting against absolutely everything including all ideas about God. so absolutely everything in the whole infinity is temptation, distraction, devilry. absolutely everything wants to destroy us, to make us suffer, to make us sleep deeper, to put us into temptation. and there is no help. no hope. nothignness at all. only very much insane and brutal and evil and unstoppable fight without any mercy from the side of absolutely infinitely everything. no logic no meaning no high virtue just brutality of destruction and hypnosis. inevitable destruction and tyranny of dream kingdom vs bliss beauty happiness and all the good things in life = just two sides of one infinite coin destruction is just masked by infintie possibilities and bliss and vastness of everythingness. reality or our mind doesn't oppress us for good reason, or for any meaning. its just pointless tyranny. its just doing harm and bringing pain and destruction with no purpose at all. its just is. i don't see any point in making us so stupid and weak and unable to wake up and unable to act wilfully and change our stupid existence. we see that its so stupid what we do but yet we can't at all change our behaviour. we are afraid of waking up we dont have choice or will or any means to fight. we are helpless. why make us so weak and wilfully blind???????????? God's will is not in this, but God's will in overcoming tyranny of the devil - mr dream king torturer by the most weak and the most sinful and the most disgusting and the most cowardice and the most stupid of ALL THE CREATION withing ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING - by human!!! little stupid weak human - worst animal of all -miserable and pathetic- whose basis is biological self- the lowest thing of all- human is this tool of God that overcomes tyranny of the dream kingdom which is unjust and meaningless and doesn't give us any freedom or chance to overcome our dream existence or our inevitable destruction. this reality doesn't give us a chance, a possibility, its hopeless to wakeup, its impossible. awakening is impossible. and life is unjust and destructive and we are the worst of creature. and God's will is about overcoming that by the most dreaming ones. most pathetic and worst and lowest and most helpless and hopeless VS biggest greatest infinite amazing unstoppable GOD is not within this dichotomy. but he is one who watches this drama where pathetic human has actually 0% chance its impossible!!! and there is no hope in doing that. no positive conclusion about miracle or 'good'. everything is bad and can't be otherwise. even if you wake up, you will still be destroyed by rock. and before that you will be victim of the process of destruction all the while living in pain and suffering. and this glimpse of terrible life you will have only for so little time of several decades. DOOMED. forget clinging to any kind of positive truth! its forever bad! and you will be forever against everything. coz you just doesn't like anything at all. coz nothing saves you and others from destruction, possibility of getting into terrible kind of physical pain and oppression of your helpless dream character that is like a prison.
  18. In a non-dual sense, God is all aspects and God is no aspects. Love vs Hate is a duality. In a nondual sense, Love = Hate Because at the dualistic human level, humans like to feel love, not hate. How many humans would attend a spiritual retreat with the theme "Love is Hate"? Not many. Humans are attracted to the squeezy stuff like serenity, bliss, love etc.
  19. @Aakash Only realization will allow you to truly understand what life without desire means. Happily, a life without desire is happiness and bliss. Sitting and doing nothing without directing awareness on awareness is quite difficult. Of course, it can be done, but it will not produce desirelessness.
  20. @FoxFoxFox I'm not trying to find true nature, unconditional joy or peace, i'm simply just trying to see what a life with no desire is like currently, as i've mentioned above, the most accurate decision , is to sit and do nothing, whether it is in bliss or not, you are still doing nothing. its like saying i'm willing to sleep for my whole life if that was an option.
  21. Once you have worked through all dark memories, there is constant peace & bliss. Nothing will be able to move that. You will be living in heaven, literally.
  22. I'm sorry if I did not translate it well, but my English is not perfect. 16:25 Consumption of decoction of magical mushrooms (2g) 17:00 - 18:00 The shackles of the mind were released. The conditions have been broken. It's amazing how much beauty has a reality around us, but we can not see it through our conditions. Everything was beautiful, vivid, amazing. My eyes were full of joy, life, innocence, happiness and gratitude for being alive. I felt the mind slowly sinking more and more in the present moment. I laid out on the lawn and looked up at the sky, it all became so obvious ... It was so obvious that I am not the body ... that it will soon die ... It's an amazing paradox. There is no such thing as human life ... We are a void that experiences itself through the human body. Woaaah .... I understood that there is only an organism and a consciousness that is perfect. 18:00 I decided to go home. All the time I was accompanied by the beauty that I admired. When I saw the sunset, I almost cried. This can not be described. So this is real reality? Does it have so much beauty in itself? It's hard to believe it ... I sat in my training room, turned on the music and immersed in myself. I had some internal insights that were amazing. I experienced fractions of Samadhi's states when I was the whole moment, unidentified with my ego ... What a bliss ... For a second I felt the absolute of consciousness and tears came to me. It was indescribable. I would like everyone to experience it even for a moment. I went to the mirror and looked into my eyes - shining with happiness, innocence and an inner child. Eyes of joy. 19:30 - 21:00 I decided to go outside to light a campfire on the field. As soon as I opened the door of the house and saw everything, I could not believe in amazement. How all this is magical ... Amazing ... Mysterious ... The streets looked like on another planet ... This is another thing that can not be described ... All lights, stars ... our life is the greatest gift you can get, the biggest a form of love, just a question of whether human can notice it ... I made a bonfire and thought about my life. This is how my first trip ended. Important Lessons. Life is a present moment. Our human life is just a joke. We are a void that experiences itself through the human body. You have to accept death and live life to the fullest while our body is able to. Life is the greatest gift you can get. The largest form of love. The emptiness that accompanies us has a huge amount of happiness and joy. Pure Hapiness is effortless when nothing is left but a calm mind. Beauty is everywhere. The entire universe is a manifestation of love. It is sad that through the filters of the mind acquired by his human experience, man is unable to see the truth.
  23. @Tausif Ahmed Your immediate experience is the only thing you have of reality. In other words, what you experience is what you are, and that is reality, regardless of how that experience looks like. There is an important distinction between an spiritual experience and enlightenment. An spiritual experience, as the name suggest, should really only be used to refer to experiences that has something to do with the spiritual dimension of consciousness. In contrast, enlightenment is complete awareness of your true nature as consciousness, independent of whatever dimension the "I" experiences. From "I am" to "I-I" to silence and bliss.
  24. Hello, Firstly, when I say 'god' I mean 'eternal consciousness' and I'm going to be talking about my human experience only(as in my present form, I don't know any better)...cbf saying 'eternal consciousness' so just to reiterate God = 'eternal consciousness'... Ok i've said it a fair few times now So I have this theory that the way we experience our dreams is the way God experiences our existence. That includes the nightmares. So there are many layers of dreams. With my experience that I can consciously remember - is standard dreams, nightmares and lucid dreaming(also sleep paralysis but that's another story). I wonder if dreams are a underestimated clue for us to give us a glimpse of how God observes/experiences us as humans. I mean, in a dream/nightmare we can't actually feel 'physical' pain however we do feel all the emotions with that experience as it is happening(when unaware that we are dreaming), it feels completely real, even if it is something ridiculously outrageous and nonsense once we are awake from the dream, but when in the dream it feels relative. Credibility is something I wouldn't even think about questioning whilst in a dream(and not aware that I am dreaming). So with the dreams and nightmares when we are unaware - could be the same as God in us, living our human lives and not being aware of God in us(and vice versa God not being aware of self in us) and that the 'lucid' dreams are the same as us/God being 'awake' and being aware of God in us/in everything. So with that being said, maybe we have it in reverse(dreams and being awake). The other thing I have been pondering about is this; For someone who has never experienced any realisations etc in that lifetime and has gone through life in mostly delusion, torment and suffering... When they die, I would think that they would get the biggest shock, joke, absolute delight/euphoria, outrage(simultaneously with disbelief, belief, disbelief, belief..etc) which would be felt so strongly by that persons consciousness and together felt by God peaking to a orgasmic unconditional love sensation... ok ok. So for a person who is already enlightened to die... I guess that experience would be different with intense emotions stemming from a different realisation(eg.. this is what it is like to be completely out of the human perspective and into the perspective of whatever the fuck I want)... but it makes me think that the 'orgasm' at physical death probably wouldn't be as strong as the realisation of the 'unenlightened' person or maybe just a different type hahahaha(maybe just not as funny coz the jokes already been had I really don't know). The other thing a have been pondering on is.. yes just like our language and time, positive and negative are just concepts that we created. I'm going to speak about things from my perspective as a human who likes to feel what we label as 'pleasant and good' sensations. Eg I think love and orgasm are the best feelings ever. I don't like to feel the shitty feelings like pain and suffering.. Pretty standard. However, in my experience with my episodes/glimpses into realisation, what I understood in the communication was that we as humans are special in that we have given creation to these intense feelings of love and physical orgasm etc intensified from a human perspective that previously did not exist(not to say other creatures we don't even know about haven't produced such experiences... I wouldn't fucking know) which is intense as fuck. Yes the pain and suffering is also intense however, I don't think the mass, immaterial, everlasting brain(consciousness) chooses to feel the 'negative' feelings. I do think that it chooses to feel the 'positive' feelings(perhaps negative as a reminder of how awesome it has it in order to be able to choose?). And that is what is considered 'heaven' if you like - being a consciousness who chooses unconditional love because although it has unlimited capacity, it also has the intelligence & freedom to choose. Yeah you could say if it has unlimited capacity why would it just not feel everything? Well, I believe it does like us when we are dreaming but that's it. I don't think it chooses to put itself through shitty experiences over and over again like we do as humans. I'm not saying it hasn't experienced all the shitty feelings(coz it does through us and everything) but in its purest form, I think it chooses not to. Lets say I'm God in its purest form, no material attachments, unlimited capacity blah... To put it simply I have the choice to exist as love or hate. I know I would choose the former... I also realise with us as humans that without the crappy things happening to us, we wouldn't be able to recognise and appreciate the good things.. hmmm maybe that is also another one of our missions to the universe, to take one for the collective team.. Perhaps we are a constant reminder to the universe that being formless is much more appealing than being form. I guess if I was a immaterial universe baby who could do anything and not feel physical pain, after a while I would probably get sick of myself and seek out more only to be reminded of how good I actually have it(after coming back from a physical form). As long as things are always moving/transforming which is inevitable regardless of whatever happens, there will always be entertainment/experience for the universe... this would be happening simultaneously and I wonder how many other planets, dimensions etc exist with beings doing the same thing as us but through their unique experiences and how long it takes other existences to evolve to such a state that interests the universe. Perhaps when Love gets lost and no longer exists in a species as a whole, is when that species is no longer worth observing and being part of(maybe this is what contributes to extinction). I guess it also comes down to focus, different points in dimensions that the universe chooses to focus on(at the same time as everything getting recorded and accessible whenever just like a unlimited hard drive). I think it is interesting that to date we have not yet the capabilities to explore far enough to find other life forms outside of earth(or maybe we have but it is secret information) anyhow, what I'm saying is regardless of whether we have or we haven't - Earth is so far away(in human measurement) from any other source of sentient beings - I think that this fact, in itself is another massive clue indicating us to search inwards. As in yes, we suck, were selfish and brutal and all the shitty things, but we are also amazing, loving and beautiful beings capable of being aware of God within sooo... from what I understood was that pure formless God 'chooses' to take what God considers 'good' feelings/thoughts which would be relative to eternities experiences lol eg) from humans - love, sex and go further... immaterial creation of fantastical creatures doing all sorts of fun shit, somersaults, flying, swimming, music, frequencies etc etc(including all the other non-human experiences, creations etc) What an imagination!! But what if imagination = reality?! Anyhow, can also flick through the painful/annoying shit if it feels like it. Also, we as humans have contributed heavily and intensely. I know you can argue that God is neutral and I am simply coming at it from a human/egotistical perspective(maybe I am)... but with my own personal realisations the messages I understood were so obvious to me, in that human death means absolute bliss, human life means delusional pain and suffering. Hmmm...and to believe that can be dangerous from a human perspective if we haven't had the training or prior understanding(when I first had these blasts of realisations in my early 20's.. I did end up in a mental hospital for a few weeks). Whatever form we are in adds to the collective experience. The other thing I'm trying to get my head around is the consciousness within us that does not want to let go of the filtered human understanding. So if I died as a human and was exposed to the truth but was too stubborn and scared to accept the truth.. what would happen to that part of my consciousness? Would it just be floating there in condensed negativity, in accumulation with other same consciousness that were also unable to let go of the delusional existence they just came from? Is that a black hole? Or maybe that part of me would default into a fetus! I know a lot of these ponderings may conflict with each other.. In everyday life I'm still anxious as fuck..there's a lot I'm unable to actively maintain, but I guess in my early 30's I have been gradually getting kinda better with self love etc If you did end up reading this. Thanks If not.. I am Lolithania queen of the dessert rhinos and have come to eat your babies.. what. -Mish
  25. @Truth Addict That is truely quite the claim seeing as he isn't free of guilt already, can you prove that free will is non-existant? @SoonHei you'll find as you go through this life that if you confront something there may be a large amount of short-term emotion and long-term bliss! They key is to confront it of your own accord and to not be forced into it or let it supprise you! If you read and understand the story of Abraham in the bible (first story that popped into my head attacking this concept) this idea will become an evident motif in plenty of other writings and experiences!