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Gradually, I felt it's presence stronger and stronger. At one point, it all just clicked and I became fully conscious. I became conscious, directly, very clearly in an instant, in a flash, in a blink of an eye that everything that exists is It. Or rather It became fully conscious of itself trough itself. No magical experience or magical state of consciousness. Just pure clear consciousness . It was so obvious, so clear, so illuminating. I was all Alone, only I Alone as all of reality. I was in metaphysical bliss. I'm writing this to enqurage people here. After first becoming conscious of the non-dual One (God) about 7-8 months ago, it has only increased. Weed for me increases and intensifies this non-dual state, and lately I have had some interesting experiences with it. I choose to write about the ones worth writting about. Not just to enqurage, also to expand consciousness here. Others may have different experiences and may not relate to what I'm talking about, and that's cool. -

I found that to be a very interesting interaction between personality dynamics. During the first part of the conversation, I think Abraham-Hicks did a good job at trying to acknowledge the man's perceptive and to try and show she understands it. It looked like she connected for a bit. She touched upon free will and "vibrational energies" which pointed to trans-personal and trans-human levels. I also thought she did a good job at diagnosing what is occurring in his personality dynamic. Yet, I think she made a mistake in allowing the discussion to stay in the relative personal level and play by personal level rules. He was clearly immersed within a personality dynamic and through most of the conversation she played on that level. I think she should have stayed firm in the trans-personal realm and only dip into the personal realm to pull him up. My hunch is she has not fully transcended the personal level. She spoke as if she believed there is a person with free will making choices. Several times she said things to the effect of "just change the meaning of something". Instead of pain and suffering, let's just call it "variety" and we are good to go. She also said something like "ignorance is bliss if giving it a negative meaning causes discomfort". To me, trying to play the "good" vs "evil" game on the relative personal level comes across as bizarre and distorted. Once you allow the assumption that there is a real person with free will that makes choices, it's game over on the relative personal playing field. That means murderers and rapists have free will and are choosing to do what they do freely. And the rest of us can just choose to call things like torture and rape as simply experiences of "variety" rather than pain and misery. In doing so, won't get upset about it anymore and can be happy. . . To me, this is really lame. A few times she touched upon the trans-personal level yet kept diving back down to the personal. To me, I think it would have been much better to stay firmly grounded on the trans-personal level and address the illusory construct of the persona, lack of free will, the relativity of personal views (from a trans-personal meta view) and the absolute. I'm not sure why Abraham-Hicks didn't do that. I understand he was immersed in the personality, yet the only way to get through his dilemma, imo, is to get up to the trans-personal level.

Overview This has been my most powerful and profound trip to date. Including the closest I have got to any type of awakening experience. Yesterday morning I did 5g of magic mushrooms at around about 10am and locked myself in by basement bathroom in complete silence and darkness until 4pm. I had hundreds of profound insights about the nature of mind, reality, vibrations, energy and creation...including my first glimpse of the magnitude of infinity. Preparation In the days preceding my mushroom trip, I consulted these tarot cards that I have about whether or not doing this trip was a good idea. I gave myself a reading with the tarot cards and I really like this method for judging whether or not tripping at a particular time is a good idea or not. It's like how Terrence McKenna says in this video: Where he consults the oracle. (skip to 15:50) But anyways I got very good signs from my reading that I did on myself and one of my girl-friends who is a reader also agreed that the trip was a good idea so I decided to do it. I chewed 5g of the mushrooms on an empty stomach and preemptively took a ginger pill to handle any nauseousness. Then I filled up my bathroom in my basement with cushions and blankets and covered the windows so it was as dark as possible. The Trip Begins I sat down cross legged in the dark and meditated as I waited for the shrooms to come on. I set my intention to receive insight about the nature of reality and conciousness. After about 30-40 minutes I began to feel the familiar shroomy feeling of wavy energy enter my body and I allowed my body to sway with the energy as I tried to stay anchored on my breathing. My breathing began to feel more full as this energy pulsed through my body and it felt amazing. For about an hour I was enjoying the climb up towards the peak which was filled with the energy beginning to work its way into my mind and creating long and profound thought chains about the ego, survival, and creation. At one point I called my friend for a couple minutes just to tell him how awesome I'm feeling. I'm a Millionaire Recently I've been reading a lot about affirmations and the law of attraction. As the energy was pulsing through my body and becoming stronger I got visions of how reality creates itself through vibrations at every second and I felt the urge to affirm "I'm a millionaire." over and over and over again. At this point I also started recording myself (in pitch black but I captured the audio of me talking). As I continued affirming "I'm a millionaire" I got super happy as if I had just won the lottery. I realised the power of affirmations and for a good 20 minutes I was in ecstasy at the idea that I am actually a millionaire. I fully believed in the affirmation and I was able to See the vibrations beginning to manifest millions of dollars in my bank account. This is when I got many profound insights about the process of creation and how reality creates through no mechanism but through direct consciousness and that if I can focus my attention on those positive vibrations of "I'm a millionaire" then I will spontaneously create a million dollars. Ecstasy Again, I have this whole section of the trip recorded and I would describe this part as nearing the peak of the trip. I began writhing and rolling around on the floor as the energy invaded my body and brain and it felt fucking amazing. I am just yelling "Holy fuck, oh my God, Holy fucking shit this is amazing, what the fuck is happening to me, holy fuck the vibrations are just creating every second." for like 20 minutes straight as I'm swimming through the cushions and blankets in a complete full-body orgasm. At this point I feel like my whole body is being healed and reborn which was actually predicted in my card reading that I gave myself earlier. At this point I'm laughing and crying and rambling and having the most profound experience of my life... I also had the insight "Being is vibration." but idk how accurate that is but it made sense at the time. "I'm not seeing anything but I'm being everything." Side note: I watched the whole video back and even though its pitch black at certain points you can clearly see white "snowflakes" floating around the screen as if the camera was picking up the enormously high amounts of energy that was invading my being. (coincidentally the power also went out in my town around this time but I didn't notice until later) A Glimpse of Infinity After I turned off the recording I was continuing my orgasmic bliss exclamations of "Holy fuck Holy fuck" and my thoughts spontaneously began to move into even more profound territory. These weren't regular thoughts because they were very vivid and I could feel them more fully than normal so I would feel safe saying that this was closer to direct consciousness than just regular thoughts. There was one particular thought chain that I do not fully remember that basically lead to the realisation that I am nothing more than energy and that I am made of the same energy that everything else is made out of...At this point I felt my sense of ego begin to weaken more and more and I was beginning to contemplate the idea of dying and how it wouldn't be a problem at all because I'm just vibrations...At this point I became aware that I was very close to total ego death but I was not able to go fully over the edge...probably because I haven't done enough spiritual practice or I needed more substance.... Then there was another thought chain that showed me the magnitude of how infinite reality is...I feel like this particular thought chain was very "grand" and it was very charged with energy and I was having direct consciousness of every cell in every life form on Earth and how each cell is its own organism that wants to survive and reproduce and I realised "Its infinite! Its infinite! Its infinite!" and I was completely blown away and at the same time I was on all fours with my head down and I felt the energy spontaneously leave out through my feet with several violent trembles. And then everything was still and silent. Aftermath There was a huge contrast between the loud and energetic thought-chains and the silence that followed. My whole body was buzzing and trembling and I just lay down in awe for like 5 minutes and my mind was very quiet and still. Then I sat up and began to look around and this is where the feeling began that I was not in control of my movements at all and I was just the observer. I looked around the bathroom (my eyes had adjusted to the darkness) and I was tripping out like "What the fuck just happened? Am I enlightened? What the hell..." I was on the brink of tears and I was so gracious to have had the opportunity to glimpse even a little hair on the tail of the ox. (Which is what I think it was) I felt a very weak sense of ego still residing so I knew that I wasn't enlightened but I was definitely closer to ego-lessness than I have ever been. After about 20 minutes the sense of self began re-forming again but I still maintained that sense of being the observer and not having control over my actions. I just sat in awe and silence for another 30 minutes and then my Dad came home and I turned on the lights to realise how distorted and shroomy my vision was...I took sooooo much shrooms. So I just buzzed out in the bathroom for another 20 minutes and then I tried to go up to my room to rest in my bed because I was exhausted... I couldn't sleep and I definitely couldn't get comfortable but I just tried to relax and allow myself to come down from the high. Around 6pm I was feeling a bit better and I was interacting with my family in a semi-normal way and we ate dinner together and stuff and everything turned out well. That night I had a piercing headache that prevented me from sleeping restfully. I'm feeling an ego backlash coming on but I'm just chilling out and not working too much so that I can recover fully. Takeaways - I have a lot more consciousness work to do but idk if I'm ready yet at this point in my life...I need to handle my survival first. - 5g in silent darkness is definitely an amazing way to do mushrooms - Thoughts manifest into reality - I'm a millionaire - reality creates itself every second without a mechanism - reality appears to be infinite - shrooms are a powerful tool for consciousness growth - consult the cards Thanks for reading!

Living unconsciously means that you'll fall into suffering. It can be tempting to CHOOSE to suffer as part of a spiritual quest because when you choose to suffer you have the power over your suffering, and also the goal of some future state of bliss that may be obtained by your noble choice to suffer. That's another trap. It's the trap that religion has sold for hundreds of years. Religion says, look at all these people going about their lives living unconsciously and seeking silly pleasures, they are miserable. You must CHOOSE to suffer and have FAITH in this future goal you'll get if you can purify yourself through suffering. You can choose to be free of suffering now. You can be at peace now. You absolutely do not have to suffer. The entire point of this work is deciding, ok I'm done suffering. I wanted to suffer in the past but I no longer want or need to suffer. I accept what it, I accept life, I accept this present moment as it is without needing it to be something more. I'm here to meet it with love and peace and acceptance and therefore I no longer suffer.

@Wisebaxter Interesting thing about emotions, is that all of them are one emotion, Love. Only Love, and all the other emotions are derived from It. Try to feel it in your direct experience, it's really one emotion, colored and shaped by your ideas. In this case, hatred is love for some 'thing' or some 'one' , and not Everything "God". Or, in other words, hatred is a limited kind of love. Why does hatred feel different than love? Because it's limited to the self, while love at the very least, extends to the other(s). Growth is independent of suffering, you will also grow from bliss, only in different ways

I don't care, i dont see any point in us being put into dream and us not being able to wake up from it. i don't see any good or reasonable meaning in that. ok put us into dream for beginning, but to make it so difficult to wakeup from that = thats pointless, it can only be understood in that = its tyranny of the devil or god of the dream world. what you call God is not God because one true God transcends this reality/being. you call devil as god. and you want to merge with devil through enlightenment but you think that you want to merge with god. infinite being is devil or god of this world 'absolutely everything' or nothignness at all is not God but creation true God transcends (HE is not in the boundless infinite oneness totality) I am sayign that true God created absolutely everything which can exist and which is not him. and this absolutely everythingness is infinite reality that we are in. and infinity has knowledge that there is nothing which can be outside of it. so whatever you can become you will still be bound by infinity which tells that there is nothing outside of it. which tells u that it is boundless. can you imagine that GOD is NOT anyone from absolutely everything that can be? this is impossible. and yet thats how things are. perhaps the more you go against this reality (devil) the more you are aligned with True God's will if you read Quran or Gospels you can notice that it is so anti-life anti-being anti-reality anti-this world anti-human beings. you can say that it is revelations of unstoppable criticism of absolutely everything and they are extremely negative about everything at all. i dont see any point in us being put into dream, and us not being able to wake up, or making awaking so hard to attain. why would that be the case? why would God will to make awakening so difficult? nope its not that he willed that, its that he created reality which is opposite of him. and here he put us to experience that tyranny of dream prison. and all our life is about being oppressed by the tyrant's will - who is opposite of true God. yet this is to say that you can't come to God through wanting to come to God because God is not anyone from absolutely everything. so you can only come to him by fighting against absolutely everything including all ideas about God. so absolutely everything in the whole infinity is temptation, distraction, devilry. absolutely everything wants to destroy us, to make us suffer, to make us sleep deeper, to put us into temptation. and there is no help. no hope. nothignness at all. only very much insane and brutal and evil and unstoppable fight without any mercy from the side of absolutely infinitely everything. no logic no meaning no high virtue just brutality of destruction and hypnosis. inevitable destruction and tyranny of dream kingdom vs bliss beauty happiness and all the good things in life = just two sides of one infinite coin destruction is just masked by infintie possibilities and bliss and vastness of everythingness. reality or our mind doesn't oppress us for good reason, or for any meaning. its just pointless tyranny. its just doing harm and bringing pain and destruction with no purpose at all. its just is. i don't see any point in making us so stupid and weak and unable to wake up and unable to act wilfully and change our stupid existence. we see that its so stupid what we do but yet we can't at all change our behaviour. we are afraid of waking up we dont have choice or will or any means to fight. we are helpless. why make us so weak and wilfully blind???????????? God's will is not in this, but God's will in overcoming tyranny of the devil - mr dream king torturer by the most weak and the most sinful and the most disgusting and the most cowardice and the most stupid of ALL THE CREATION withing ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING - by human!!! little stupid weak human - worst animal of all -miserable and pathetic- whose basis is biological self- the lowest thing of all- human is this tool of God that overcomes tyranny of the dream kingdom which is unjust and meaningless and doesn't give us any freedom or chance to overcome our dream existence or our inevitable destruction. this reality doesn't give us a chance, a possibility, its hopeless to wakeup, its impossible. awakening is impossible. and life is unjust and destructive and we are the worst of creature. and God's will is about overcoming that by the most dreaming ones. most pathetic and worst and lowest and most helpless and hopeless VS biggest greatest infinite amazing unstoppable GOD is not within this dichotomy. but he is one who watches this drama where pathetic human has actually 0% chance its impossible!!! and there is no hope in doing that. no positive conclusion about miracle or 'good'. everything is bad and can't be otherwise. even if you wake up, you will still be destroyed by rock. and before that you will be victim of the process of destruction all the while living in pain and suffering. and this glimpse of terrible life you will have only for so little time of several decades. DOOMED. forget clinging to any kind of positive truth! its forever bad! and you will be forever against everything. coz you just doesn't like anything at all. coz nothing saves you and others from destruction, possibility of getting into terrible kind of physical pain and oppression of your helpless dream character that is like a prison.

In a non-dual sense, God is all aspects and God is no aspects. Love vs Hate is a duality. In a nondual sense, Love = Hate Because at the dualistic human level, humans like to feel love, not hate. How many humans would attend a spiritual retreat with the theme "Love is Hate"? Not many. Humans are attracted to the squeezy stuff like serenity, bliss, love etc.

@Aakash Only realization will allow you to truly understand what life without desire means. Happily, a life without desire is happiness and bliss. Sitting and doing nothing without directing awareness on awareness is quite difficult. Of course, it can be done, but it will not produce desirelessness.

@FoxFoxFox I'm not trying to find true nature, unconditional joy or peace, i'm simply just trying to see what a life with no desire is like currently, as i've mentioned above, the most accurate decision , is to sit and do nothing, whether it is in bliss or not, you are still doing nothing. its like saying i'm willing to sleep for my whole life if that was an option.

Hello, Firstly, when I say 'god' I mean 'eternal consciousness' and I'm going to be talking about my human experience only(as in my present form, I don't know any better)...cbf saying 'eternal consciousness' so just to reiterate God = 'eternal consciousness'... Ok i've said it a fair few times now So I have this theory that the way we experience our dreams is the way God experiences our existence. That includes the nightmares. So there are many layers of dreams. With my experience that I can consciously remember - is standard dreams, nightmares and lucid dreaming(also sleep paralysis but that's another story). I wonder if dreams are a underestimated clue for us to give us a glimpse of how God observes/experiences us as humans. I mean, in a dream/nightmare we can't actually feel 'physical' pain however we do feel all the emotions with that experience as it is happening(when unaware that we are dreaming), it feels completely real, even if it is something ridiculously outrageous and nonsense once we are awake from the dream, but when in the dream it feels relative. Credibility is something I wouldn't even think about questioning whilst in a dream(and not aware that I am dreaming). So with the dreams and nightmares when we are unaware - could be the same as God in us, living our human lives and not being aware of God in us(and vice versa God not being aware of self in us) and that the 'lucid' dreams are the same as us/God being 'awake' and being aware of God in us/in everything. So with that being said, maybe we have it in reverse(dreams and being awake). The other thing I have been pondering about is this; For someone who has never experienced any realisations etc in that lifetime and has gone through life in mostly delusion, torment and suffering... When they die, I would think that they would get the biggest shock, joke, absolute delight/euphoria, outrage(simultaneously with disbelief, belief, disbelief, belief..etc) which would be felt so strongly by that persons consciousness and together felt by God peaking to a orgasmic unconditional love sensation... ok ok. So for a person who is already enlightened to die... I guess that experience would be different with intense emotions stemming from a different realisation(eg.. this is what it is like to be completely out of the human perspective and into the perspective of whatever the fuck I want)... but it makes me think that the 'orgasm' at physical death probably wouldn't be as strong as the realisation of the 'unenlightened' person or maybe just a different type hahahaha(maybe just not as funny coz the jokes already been had I really don't know). The other thing a have been pondering on is.. yes just like our language and time, positive and negative are just concepts that we created. I'm going to speak about things from my perspective as a human who likes to feel what we label as 'pleasant and good' sensations. Eg I think love and orgasm are the best feelings ever. I don't like to feel the shitty feelings like pain and suffering.. Pretty standard. However, in my experience with my episodes/glimpses into realisation, what I understood in the communication was that we as humans are special in that we have given creation to these intense feelings of love and physical orgasm etc intensified from a human perspective that previously did not exist(not to say other creatures we don't even know about haven't produced such experiences... I wouldn't fucking know) which is intense as fuck. Yes the pain and suffering is also intense however, I don't think the mass, immaterial, everlasting brain(consciousness) chooses to feel the 'negative' feelings. I do think that it chooses to feel the 'positive' feelings(perhaps negative as a reminder of how awesome it has it in order to be able to choose?). And that is what is considered 'heaven' if you like - being a consciousness who chooses unconditional love because although it has unlimited capacity, it also has the intelligence & freedom to choose. Yeah you could say if it has unlimited capacity why would it just not feel everything? Well, I believe it does like us when we are dreaming but that's it. I don't think it chooses to put itself through shitty experiences over and over again like we do as humans. I'm not saying it hasn't experienced all the shitty feelings(coz it does through us and everything) but in its purest form, I think it chooses not to. Lets say I'm God in its purest form, no material attachments, unlimited capacity blah... To put it simply I have the choice to exist as love or hate. I know I would choose the former... I also realise with us as humans that without the crappy things happening to us, we wouldn't be able to recognise and appreciate the good things.. hmmm maybe that is also another one of our missions to the universe, to take one for the collective team.. Perhaps we are a constant reminder to the universe that being formless is much more appealing than being form. I guess if I was a immaterial universe baby who could do anything and not feel physical pain, after a while I would probably get sick of myself and seek out more only to be reminded of how good I actually have it(after coming back from a physical form). As long as things are always moving/transforming which is inevitable regardless of whatever happens, there will always be entertainment/experience for the universe... this would be happening simultaneously and I wonder how many other planets, dimensions etc exist with beings doing the same thing as us but through their unique experiences and how long it takes other existences to evolve to such a state that interests the universe. Perhaps when Love gets lost and no longer exists in a species as a whole, is when that species is no longer worth observing and being part of(maybe this is what contributes to extinction). I guess it also comes down to focus, different points in dimensions that the universe chooses to focus on(at the same time as everything getting recorded and accessible whenever just like a unlimited hard drive). I think it is interesting that to date we have not yet the capabilities to explore far enough to find other life forms outside of earth(or maybe we have but it is secret information) anyhow, what I'm saying is regardless of whether we have or we haven't - Earth is so far away(in human measurement) from any other source of sentient beings - I think that this fact, in itself is another massive clue indicating us to search inwards. As in yes, we suck, were selfish and brutal and all the shitty things, but we are also amazing, loving and beautiful beings capable of being aware of God within sooo... from what I understood was that pure formless God 'chooses' to take what God considers 'good' feelings/thoughts which would be relative to eternities experiences lol eg) from humans - love, sex and go further... immaterial creation of fantastical creatures doing all sorts of fun shit, somersaults, flying, swimming, music, frequencies etc etc(including all the other non-human experiences, creations etc) What an imagination!! But what if imagination = reality?! Anyhow, can also flick through the painful/annoying shit if it feels like it. Also, we as humans have contributed heavily and intensely. I know you can argue that God is neutral and I am simply coming at it from a human/egotistical perspective(maybe I am)... but with my own personal realisations the messages I understood were so obvious to me, in that human death means absolute bliss, human life means delusional pain and suffering. Hmmm...and to believe that can be dangerous from a human perspective if we haven't had the training or prior understanding(when I first had these blasts of realisations in my early 20's.. I did end up in a mental hospital for a few weeks). Whatever form we are in adds to the collective experience. The other thing I'm trying to get my head around is the consciousness within us that does not want to let go of the filtered human understanding. So if I died as a human and was exposed to the truth but was too stubborn and scared to accept the truth.. what would happen to that part of my consciousness? Would it just be floating there in condensed negativity, in accumulation with other same consciousness that were also unable to let go of the delusional existence they just came from? Is that a black hole? Or maybe that part of me would default into a fetus! I know a lot of these ponderings may conflict with each other.. In everyday life I'm still anxious as fuck..there's a lot I'm unable to actively maintain, but I guess in my early 30's I have been gradually getting kinda better with self love etc If you did end up reading this. Thanks If not.. I am Lolithania queen of the dessert rhinos and have come to eat your babies.. what. -Mish

Once you have worked through all dark memories, there is constant peace & bliss. Nothing will be able to move that. You will be living in heaven, literally.

@Tausif Ahmed Your immediate experience is the only thing you have of reality. In other words, what you experience is what you are, and that is reality, regardless of how that experience looks like. There is an important distinction between an spiritual experience and enlightenment. An spiritual experience, as the name suggest, should really only be used to refer to experiences that has something to do with the spiritual dimension of consciousness. In contrast, enlightenment is complete awareness of your true nature as consciousness, independent of whatever dimension the "I" experiences. From "I am" to "I-I" to silence and bliss.

@Truth Addict That is truely quite the claim seeing as he isn't free of guilt already, can you prove that free will is non-existant? @SoonHei you'll find as you go through this life that if you confront something there may be a large amount of short-term emotion and long-term bliss! They key is to confront it of your own accord and to not be forced into it or let it supprise you! If you read and understand the story of Abraham in the bible (first story that popped into my head attacking this concept) this idea will become an evident motif in plenty of other writings and experiences!

@Zigzag Idiot @tsuki I really appreciate your input and intend to respond later. First, some observations this morning. Now that I've been on dates with 4 girls, I get nervous about how and when to propose a next date. And what if they say no? I know the answer to that: I get over it and meet new people. This is the flow of life. So even though I feel more at ease now that I can meet and connect with girls when I want to, I'm still clinging to these particular ones. Not as tightly as if it would be a single person, but still. The feeling of abundance is increased, but not the deep abundance. But I can't help to draw a parallel: I meet a few girls, now I'm scared to lose them. Rich people don't have peace, they worry about their money. I have had an underlying assumption, pretty much all my life, that getting enough money and sex is working towards inner peace. It made sense: my path isn't blocked by lack of anything, I don't have to work so I'm free. I don't have to worry about money because there is enough. I don't have to be harsh with myself to go meet girls because that part is so integrated that it happens by itself. But what if that's wrong? Businesses take work to maintain, you can worry about those. Even plainly having a ton of cash is a huge responsibility: you have to worry about how your investments are doing, you have to make sure that you give enough to charity and that people are seeing that, because more eyes are on you. Most of your friends will be fake friends who hope to get stuff from you. This alone can drive people to suicide. It's still worth doing, but it's not a way to end all worries. You're just worrying about different things. Like RSDTyler likes to say: "Increase the QUALITY of your problems." I'm seeing a couple different girls now. I mean, I don't know whether I'll see them again, and I worry about that I noticed this morning that I want to text them all and set a next date, so that I can feel safe. But I noticed that would be coming from the wrong place, so I didn't. On top of that, I have more Tinder matches than I have attention or energy for. So I kind of gave up, and am seeing all these potential connections being ignored by me, and dying. This also bugs me. Also in the words of RSDTyler: "Stop trying for completion. There is no completion. It will never come." I'm paraphrasing. But, it pans out so far. A few months ago I set out to change my habits and activities so that I would get closer to my goals. Work out, eat better, meditate regularly, get laid, make LP plans. I worked on all of those. What did it bring me? Greater life satisfaction. I don't feel like I'm "wasting" my life anymore Better sense of self-worth. I like explaining my life to people, and don't feel inferior and envious opposite almost everyone, like before. And this is profound. For me. When getting to know people, but also with good friends, I remember always feeling like they have their shit together sooo much more than I do, I'm a mess. That's gone! I know what I'm doing and not doing, and it needs work but I feel valuable and together already. Decreased neurosis. The constant "I should eat better, dammit, I should get laid, damn it, I should ..." chatter is diminished. Greater confidence in my ability to achieve and push through. Because I fell out of the diet and got back up. Now, I fell out of meditation habit, and that makes me feel guilty still, but I'm certain that I'll pick it back up. I feel more comfortable in public places. I used to feel very self-conscious and projecting how people (strangers) see me. When I would overhear conversation, I would project whether I would be friends or foes with these people. There's a lot less of that. Sometimes I just automatically talk to a stranger. And after that it's easy to let go of that connection as well. What did it not bring me? Inner peace. Nothing to worry about. The ability to have an empty mind most of the day. I'm writing this because I'm feeling stressed about a lot of things, and I was hoping to get rid of that. I have to check my phone, answer my email, take care of my relationships, keep a calendar, et cetera et cetera. Also, if I understand David Deida correctly, merging with the feminine is a temporary moment of bliss and emptiness, which the masculine is always seeking, after which he has his purpose to get back to. Giving his deepest gift. Always willing to fight for peace, emptiness, that he never gets to keep. So if there's no end to the rat race, the stress, it becomes more important to be relaxed in it. Since the only way out is death or enlightenment, and both of those are probably far away, I might as well value inner calm over everything. Get some mindfulness into my day. Since that's all the peace I'm going to get. The peace in my daily life. It's not going to happen when I reach the next level: when I get more money or sex. I will have to strive to live peacefully despite there always being things to worry about. At every level. Got up at : 9:30 Days in a row with morning routine : 0 Number of women approached : 19 Total infield time : 12h10 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 69 alcohol : 4 caffeine except tea : 6 TV : 0 grains : 17 sugar : 7 dairy : 23 peak orgasm : 5 porn : 26

@How to be wise Excellent. If you stay with the experience, it will gradually shift from nothingness to peace and then bliss.

@mandyjw indeed bless <3 the puppet can dive deep into love and bliss and praise the puppeteer.

@winterknight May I humbly ask you to watch this video when you have time? I think this video nicely demonstrates how doership, the mind and the world are not obstacles to enlightenment or bliss or what have you, in the context of hinduism. From my direct experience, i cannot phrase it better than saying that the mind, the world, and doing are not separate from God.

@winterknight What does it matter if something bad happens to this body specifically? You are familiar with what Ramana told his followers who were weeping as he was about to die. "Why are you so much attached to this body? Where can I go?" In contrast how would you feel when something bad happens comes your way? The answer to both our questions is the same thing, no? Agreed. To rephrase what you said before, a quiet mind is a more of a side effect rather than an end goal. The bliss of peace is beautiful. It is phenomenal. It is indescribably exalted. It is unshakable, even unprocurable. I cannot convey it any better than saying: "there has never been ignorance to begin with." God has never forgotten itself. That whole notion of God's leela is false. but no. It is not miserable to leave such a state. Because it cannot be left to begin with. You know this. You are no longer even able to fall back into ignorance. What then is the reason to reject the world, when the world is not different from God?

Well, all I can say is just be careful that this is not self-deception. When something really "bad" comes your way will you feel that you've intended it? Self-inquiry is not about just attaining a quiet mind, though. It's literally called inquiry, after all. It's trying to see clearly what is. It's not really a "danger." The truth of Self is unaffected either way, but it's simply that the mind may be more or less turbulent, more or less blissful. As Ramana Maharshi says, "The bliss of peace is too good to be disturbed. A man fast asleep hates to be awakened and ordered to mind his business. The bliss of sleep is too enthralling to be sacrificed to the work born of thoughts. The thought-free state is one’s primal state and full of bliss. Is it not miserable to leave such a state for the thought-ridden and unhappy one?"

@Preetom Very true. And nihilism is one way you can fuck up your experience, as you say. Got to say that bliss is highly addictive. You don' want to go back from it.

@Neorez Huh. I'll look into it, thanks. Btw regarding nihilism. Nihilism is when you make detachment into a philosophy as far as I see it. It serves no purpose and depresses you needlessly. The actual experience of the Self is peace and then bliss. You can think of it this way: God has literally designed your body to be naturally be able to uphold a tremendous amount of endless happiness. Then why believe that the world is depressing? As someone who has experienced depression himself by believing in nihilism, i can only recommend you to do more self-inquiry and work that reveals your God nature. Once you get a taste of bliss, there is no way you could even begin to believe in nihilism.

Daddy Mckenna says it like it is. Whoever honestly looked at the right places, it wasn't peace, bliss, love and all that heart crap. This is how boring, flavorless, pointless and scary the Truth sounds when translated through the language of self-agenda. No wonder ego is constantly running after everything BUT the Truth.

@Schahin Yes. The process of natural evolution is still occurring. Evolution and constant change is a very palpable aspect of consciousness itself. People say that Consciousness, bindingness and bliss are the absolute experience of God. But I'd say that at many levels, change and evolution are in effect.

Always wondered (sorry if too ‘adult’ language) if people are subconsciously aware that their sensation of orgasm is bliss ‘ Godlike...and so they just dub it “coming” (as in going toward God). That word applied to that sensation otherwise just makes no sense. Nobody’s about to pop and yells to someone in the next room, like, hang on “I’m coming”. Gettin up and going somewhere is pretty much the last thing they’re about to do, you know? (Hence all the “oh my God” verbiage preceding)

1.75g is a light to moderate dose. Based on what you wrote, you seem to be interested in using psychedelics for personal development (to discover and work through subconscious fears. Especially for your initial time, I would not get close to ego death. It can be very insightful, yet also very destabilizing. And the sub ego death zone can induce anxiety and distraction. I wouldn’t go higher than 1.75g and would consider a bit lower so you still feel grounded during the trip and it is a positive experience. And a light dose is much easier to integrate into sober life. I had a similiar intention when I first used psychedelics - to discover subconscious fears. Ime I would suggest a couple things. First, I would reorient the mind so it is not so self seeking oriented. I’m hearing a self that mushrooms are a tool to get what the self wants - to remove subconscious fears. I could get away with that mindset at lower doses, yet not at moderate or high doses. Here, I would reframe the intention as a humble request that subconscious fears be revealed. I would not approach ego death with any type of agenda. If one goes into that zone with a mindset that they are in control and are using shrooms as a tool, it will likely be a rough ride. When the self dissolves, nonduality doesn’t care about the self. There is no separate self to care about. Yet at 1.75 you would likely be below this zone. Second, I would plan to trip three times on this intention. The first time on a low dose then higher if needed. Trips can be very different based on dose, mindset and setting. The deep insight might not come in the first trip. You may be in bliss the whole or throwing up or staring at something for an hour. If you do three trips, the odds of having one with deep insights is pretty good. As well, the theme of each trip will likely be different. You may be shown the nature of fear from three different perspectives which may give a more complete experience and understanding.